Ex Inmate Reacts - "The Longest Yard" Prison Movie Starring Adam Sandler and Chris Rock | 139 |

hey everybody larry lawton here i'm gonna be doing the movie review from longest yard so let's get right to this review i love this movie this movie's based on a washed up athlete who's a former football player nfl football but he's watched up and he actually does all this to get arrested we're receiving word now that the driver of that vehicle is former pittsburgh football star paul crew crew you might remember was the only man ever i actually remember myself for saving points in a professional football game i actually remember the original long shot with bert reynolds great movie there too but this one's even better i mean that's how much i watched one more scratch on my car don't scratch the car yeah right well i hope they like this i love doing these movie reviews guys i love when they wrecked wrecked police cars uh let me tell you how that works i'm seeing one guy on a bus ain't happening they'll put you in a van they i do seen one person go in a van they have the long vans you know the uh you know just like vans but they got the windows on them that are first of all they're blacked out and they got screen and all that and you go in there and you're cuffed in that van so i have seen one van i was transferred in one van many times not a whole bus they're not gonna bring you on a whole bus oh boy redneck prison look at this prison wow okay i want to stop that do you see what they're showing under there they have them exactly right when buses or any vehicle any vehicle goes into a compound and they only go to the back end of the compound there's a whole place with mirrors and all this stuff they check out so you can't just like hide in it to get in or out and it's checked too get on your feet i love these prison moves they show her beatings right off sadly i was beaten in prison i do get it it is very intimidating first of all looking from that kind of prison there's no question that's a maximum security price you see the gun tower right there they had gun towers and guards up and down those towers and and up and along the wall that that's total maximum security prison it's in the middle of nowhere too a lot of times now the warden he's going to ask you to help out okay with what listen you know these beatings kind of always make me a little bit pissed off or mad but they happen and they really do and you're not gonna win i tried to fight them physically i couldn't i fought him from here then you're gonna tell the warden that you want nothing to do with his football fantasies because the warden gonna run this prison i do now he's got lieutenant bars on but actually in the fed system it's the captain who runs the prison and he ain't no joke now there are two things we take very seriously here in the state of texas texas prison they actually got a lot better in their prison system in texas and football we play a little of the ladder here now i've worked real hard full strings called in quite a few favors to get you here paul that ain't happening it's the administration up like in the federal bureau of prisons is the bureau of prisons that assign people to certain prisons now by law or by policy they're supposed to keep you within 500 miles of your home address i was over a thousand miles away from my home address even more because they don't give a [ __ ] but the bop assigns people you you know it's the wardens don't say i want this inmate or that inmate now would look bad obviously they're gonna think corruption right off the jump street look at it look look at your mates i love it and that's the crap food man trust me that's the crab food they have food there we used to call mystery meat we didn't know what it was you know you wonder where is he gonna sit first of all he hasn't met anybody yet so you're gonna usually meet a dude in the in the unit who's gonna tell you come on you sit over here you do this if not there's like an area like you'll notice where the gangs are you'll see the groups of blacks groups of whites hispanics or whatever they are you'll know who they are and they have a specific table we didn't have long although we had separate tables but like you know i think there was six fours and then six and they'd be around that group is that groups tables [Music] he's trying to figure out where to sit better woman football take a seat don't you love chris rock the best can't take it whatever your pleasure i could facilitate you need weed look at him there is guys like that they have everything in prison the caretaker but there's he he would go to there's white guys black guys in span they all have everything in there and for a small fee i can even get you mcdonald's what about the love of a beautiful woman well you're gonna have to lower your standards on the beautiful part and on the woman part did you see that they have those and they just dress like that too now here's the most important part you can't let these guys scare you can't let them poke you because if you do that you're gonna end up being somebody's [ __ ] don't want that thanks for the advice you know it's pretty good advice getting something to be not punk but i think everybody knows that right off the bat if you don't i don't know i mean you're just not even a little bit street smart truth of the matter is just people who don't have the balls or or don't have the heart to survive prison and it's nothing bad it is what it is let me take that trail for you i'm done eating it oh you're not i'll give it back to you uh oh [ __ ] starts in the chow hall it can go off but they they shut that down quick [Applause] wow i've never seen a device like that i've seen and i had a concussion grenade thrown in my cell put me out like a light i mean boom i've also been maced and stuff like that i wouldn't see a device like that when college stars don't get drafted they need a place to go a job money security oh great god damn gatorade he's not steroids steroids like i said at the same time seems like you got all the talent you'd want in my prison to get along you got to go along i just want to do my three years and be done three years is before you assaulted captain canauer three years for the betting first of all would would not go guys uh you're not getting three years in a maximum security prison for uh shaving points on a game it's not a violent crime so he's going normally he's going to a uh probably a camp or a low for sure no higher than that foot ball tree and sadly there are so many people who can't read cry out you have a meatball hey what's this football thing about me crews getting the team together play against who the gods you know looking around i would play on this team i'd love to get a shop oh but i would love to get a shot at some of these guys in prison even if it took a beat if i could just get a legal freaking elbow to the [ __ ] head okay bring it in whoever's trying out for the team wake up can you give a brother a little hustle very my god look at the size of that guy oh i am i'm false there's some dude big dudes in prison i was with i mean big dude hasn't played in years why can't i be quarterback huh you're right let's see what you got hit me i'm open that's why now sit down and shut up check that building over there they keep all the records in the basement he's been here so long he knows where heavy look who it is everybody did you all see that that was burt reynolds the original longest yard i love it man i don't remember that when i watched this movie the first time 20 extra years for one punch well unfortunately for him the guard he punched just happens to be the warden now oh no wouldn't hazen oh no he's right you wouldn't get that either 20 years for that back up [Applause] [Music] this ain't happening either but it's fun i love the movie love this movie man let's see which cards have some [ __ ] bones oh daddy getting dirty i love it you know uh there's no way inmates can get to a guards file so to speak you can't even get to another inmates file i mean they're locked away and today they're in computers obviously you wouldn't have codes they did have physical records but you were never getting them not like they can go find them and get them and some that that would never [Music] happen uh i never in my life saw a cake brought into prison never i know he said he can get mcdonald's in either that was all bs obviously you can get stuff in prison and actually food would be easier to get into prison than certain things just guards consider that all give the guy you know a little food but you ain't getting a cake like that in prison are you kidding me never happened the old thing you know like oh look there's got a knife in there asian has a rating system for every con what's three stars the more prone to violence that the inmate is the more stars it gets five stars is the max i didn't know that yeah let's see how many stars my midnight class got wow well i have half a star that's gotta be a mistake check it again check it again how about this guy damn this fool got the chair three times they died yet [Music] oh man look at the size of this dude cause he's a freak hey sasquatch someone's here to see you yeah you know you got guys like that in cells i was put in a cell when i was a violent guy he had been laying in a hole and put me in naked and they left me there uh but i've never seen cells like that you know the the glass in the front never personally seen them i heard of them i know there is a cell that they had a guy named silverstein in there was no human contact but he couldn't even see him they had to open one door put food in there he opened the door and get it out yeah it was crazy though hey badge hello over there paul paul hey ladies how's it going look at the ladies is that stuff oh man you know who that is tracy morgan and i will be cheering my jailhouse boobies off for you at game day oh he's hilarious i love these i i forgot all these great characters in this movie appreciate you oh look at the cutie there thanks i'm glad to know that oh my god is this so funny he's great too that actor switch it with estrogen i love that this is good this is great i forgot all this stuff they didn't have this in the original who was gonna kill oh i got kiss the gods gotcha look at that meat and they're eating good those inmates check your toilet there should be a little surprise in there for you left the gift in my toilet well you look at this a bottle of kettle one and two glasses now you couldn't put that he put it in there there's no way you could transfer something like that what you could do is talk through the toilets that's actually what you do you flush the toilet get no water and you actually could talk through a toilet yes that happened but you're not getting stuff passed through the toilet now when i get out of here i don't want you to get all hollywood on us i want you to meet her here look at my girl she's your biggest fan your mom's beautiful yeah people with the families this bring back memories guys it really does that's here's to uh family man that's what prison's about losing family hey i thought i was your friend paul you are swatovski just finish your coloring book and go back to sleep before we watch the guards game film from last season we have a special presentation from our very [Music] [Applause] now i gotta remove [Applause] this [Applause] what he had to do is get the tapes the sex i don't remember oh this is [Music] you go away hilarious ain't no other way time we took a look at what we came here to see before the guards come back yeah hello burt reynolds man offense against texas southern now as you can see that little weasel [ __ ] snitch there's so many of them there's so much weasels of course you know before getting them all the team and stuff took time you know and that was part of what we i blew through [Music] look at that little weasel i think this is the sad part here junk oh my god i've seen that happen guys i've seen burn i've seen cells get burned never seen an inmate get burnt like that but i've seen people burn cells and oh my god that's so crazy never seen what that's happening they ain't letting you go to no funeral that's that is not happening at all ever and that's what they would call potter's field where they put inmates who don't have anybody but he had somebody he had his mom and his mom they get the body and all that so you wouldn't see that i love that song [Music] gonna go to the place youth gods that make them look like nazis because they are hey listen up everybody on your feet for the warden oh look at that guy you can sit down thank god gentlemen texas marshals have been kind enough to supply us with a dozen of their finest sharpshooters so for those of you thinking of mingling with the civilians or trying to make a break for it you will be shocked look at that warden it will be shot let's scumbag there you go i love it look at them don't seem to have an answer for dunham tracy morgan is great [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] oh yeah you remember this [Applause] touchdown yeah i remember that this is after he did the flip and all that and he didn't didn't do it but that's the end of the movie everybody i'm talking about a great movie uh i loved longest yard uh just sorry it's a little long review because i love the movie [ __ ] you warden uh obviously you guys know how i feel about that all right guys i really appreciate doing this review it brought back a lot of memories uh thanks for watching much respect to everybody had a lot of fun doing this and please keep your comments coming if you haven't subscribed go check out other reviews i do go check out a bunch of our store and please check out gangster redemption the series it's a true story that's pretty wild have a great day everybody much respect much love [Music]

Channel: Larry Lawton

Views: 536,377

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Id: yz5qtoY7LjM

Length: 19min 15sec (1155 seconds)

Published: Tue Sep 15 2020