Everything Wrong With Licence To Kill In 23 Minutes Or Less

now you're sure you've got the ring double 07 in the hangover part 0. also felix is only worried about the ring because the movie is worried you won't know they're going to a wedding it's as if all the touchy parts of the united states would be like three men all dressed the same all huddled in the backseat of a car what could be the reason that doesn't sit right with me hollywood i like to think of this movie as a secret sequel to die hard where agent johnson survived the helicopter crash and continued a career in law enforcement but the other agent johnson also survived and he dedicated his life to being a drug lord this movie even has a michael cayman score and now i know what a tv dinner feels like no way i'm coming with you okay but strictly as an observer come on now movie both felix and the audience know there is no chance bond is going as just an observer what the fuse is he without a license to kill ah hey you guys you can't do this to me what will i say you could tell her that her husband has been called upon because a dangerous drug dealer is nearby and apparently felix is the only man for the job also we need to shoehorn bond into some action and after 15 movies we're starting to run out you know what sharky just make something up also my god how likely is it that felix who we learn later has been pursuing sanchez for some time would just so happen to be in the general area getting married on the exact same day that sanchez chooses to take a rare trip out about as likely as bond remaining a observer that's how he's still not here and you go around the block again bond and felix are either profoundly stupid or profoundly dickish for expecting sharky to be able to stall this wedding for this length of time why doesn't felix have a bulletproof vest like these dea guys if he's worried about screwing up his wedding suit i'm pretty sure creases come out easier than bullet holes and blood this holding the gun above his head and shooting over the jeep's windshield might be the dumbest thing i've seen today and earlier this morning i saw a chopping mall also discount benecio that holy absolutely nobody on this team of secret agents super spys thought maybe all this other is a diversion so the bad guy can get away probably should leave at least one person on the runway just in case sanchez shows up and tries to fly a plane out of here instead they're all like nah how would a bad guy do that at a private airfield admittedly this scene is pretty badass but did sanchez just assume he wasn't being followed if he couldn't see bond from this angle he must have at least felt the downward thrust of this giant helicopter flying mere meters above his plane i read about this scene and found out it took three weeks of prep to get everything right stunts were performed for real and everything however in movie world james bond devised this plan in 10 seconds and pulled it off without a hitch although technically he used a hitch i think it's fair to assume that sanchez was taking the quickest route from the bahamas to cuba if that's true how the did they end up back in key west i'm calling absolute shenanigans because there's no damn way anyone can see felix from down here at best these people should be simply standing at gas at the aeronautical activities unfolding before their eyes [Music] it would take over three hours to fly from key west to the bahamas that's a six hour round trip not including the time eaten up by actually finding sanchez and participating in the ensuing gunfight now i'm not saying it's impossible to get all that done in a day and make it back for the wedding but what i am saying is that it is impossible for there to be a wedding or bribe for felix to come back to it all let alone a bride that is this happy to see him so what are they going to walk into the church with their shoots still on walking behind the bride that's upstaging the bride on our wedding day fools you'd think the british would know how to spell the american word license but you'd be wrong the lyrics of this song say got a license to kill and you know i'm going straight for your heart because as we all know bond movies are all about romance and everlasting love the way ian fleming intended it that's the custom you see the bride always gets to kiss her best man adultery the department was a full report yesterday cia are total dicks first of all they unnecessarily draft felix in on his damn wedding day and then insists on an immediate debrief and worst of all he just bends over and does it no wonder his wife is kissing the best man considering how paranoid the government agents are about sanchez being broken out why do they allow all of these reporters to be anywhere near this detention facility right as they're escorting him out this would have been the perfect opportunity to spring him should have been locked down lighter punts i probably should have seen mission impossible fallout for stealing this prison break scene but this movie is so forgettable that i'm willing to say this movie stole from fallout not the other way around time has no past or future i'm living by rival rules he was married once but it was a long time ago i've always liked the idea that several people have played a character codename 007 and that james bond is just an extension of that this movie clearly refers to the time bond was married it's 20 years and three different actors later they're talking about the events of on her majesty's secret service so since we now know that idea is we've got to ask hard questions about how the other bond characters age while he doesn't i want to deep six him i don't like it he can finger me look deep sixing fingering there's only so much my virgin ears can handle i feel like the catholic priest and cinema paradiso who screens the movies and cuts out all the sex and nudity and deep sixing so that nobody gets corrupted don't worry we gave her a nice honeymoon oscar winner but he sailed down to hero everyone round of applause i want you to know this is nothing personal it's purely business phew okay i'm glad it's not personal that was really weighing on me because we're such friends i could die in peace now thank you sanchez i owe you one see you in hell no today is the first day of the rest of your life sanchez misses the chance to say don't worry felix after that first bite you'll feel lighter and we would have totally sent that cringey line too so you can clearly see the movie can't win now would it be smoking or non-smoking mr take it yeah but you didn't even know if he picked smoking or non-smoking yet how do you have his ticket ready shut up oh no dulla's dead oh well wouldn't hurt to get one last kiss in wait if this is felix then what did the shark do when it ate this looks like a fully attacked felix we find out later the shark ate his left leg and something about an arm anyway i wouldn't hurt to get one last kiss in this asshole's still alive i understand that you can survive a shark attack i just didn't know you could survive one where drug dealers were watching you get eaten by a shark and never fooled you out to safety wait did they pull you out to safety you stay out of sight i'll handle this why is this guy still hanging around didn't he get his money why isn't he on a beach earning 20 goodbye mr goodbye well that's a needlessly confusing last name holy conveniently discarded corsage batman [Music] if this guard is happy to immediately open fire and presumably kill bond outright why did this guy even bother with the invariably foiled sneaky approach seems like every other bomb villain death i see i'm asking myself was this really the plan here double 07 finds a hook and hopes he can fit it into the guy's belt and throw him off the stairs and throw him into an electric eel tank like there are so many things that could go wrong why would you even attempt this [Music] jesus monkey christ the lock balls you earned it you keep it old buddy although dramatic this is an insane waste of two million dollars i'm not saying bond should keep the money but do something with it donate it to charity buy felix a new leg something vh1 this private vendetta of yours could easily compromise her majesty's government then you have my resignation sir effective immediately your license to kill is revoked roll double credit i'd like to think that after all these years and bonds history of doing and whatever he wants and would know that he isn't likely to let this one go i'd also like to assume that m values bond as an agent and ideally does not want to lose him from the service so why not reassign him to this mission and give him one of those bull 48-hour windows to avenge felix and get it out of his system he must know that's what bond's going to do anyway see this is what happens when you come up with the title first and the plot second i guess it's a farewell to arms so that's why this is taking place at the hemingway house can you imagine procuring a location just because there's a pawn in the script too many people that's your problem not that he's one of your agents okay the man is now technically on the run but does that mean you shoot him also you thought the hemingway house was the best place to score 07 for his and were even prepared to take him in by force if he refused but now that he's running away there's too many people i don't think there are any people but the plot demands bond to get free and go rogue so he shall sentinel's picking up something large on the monitor sir it's just a manta ray if cress can identify this large something so quickly why couldn't the captain of course the actual reason this is being brought to our attention is to show bond using the manta ray as a disguise but the captain clearly doesn't suspect this or he would have led with hey that manta ray's got a secret agent on its ass oh no they killed sharky but how did they know he was doing anything to help bond out they only just found out bond was on crest's boat a few minutes ago so when did they send these guys out to find sharky's boat and how did they make the connection what the was that is that a jump cut on sentinel so there's a super spy who could up your entire operation swimming around the ocean now you've decided to launch the boat that carries the money and the drugs right now while he's still out there getting sea creatures high on cocaine underwater battle in a bond film cliche this gun is loaded and ready to go but like so many of his nameless henchman predecessors instead of shooting bond and ending this this thinks it will be more effective to try this bullsh hey do you know what kills a man just as effectively as drowning but significantly more quickly and with less chance of escape stabbing him in the heart in the middle of all this commotion bond still has the wherewithal to shoot a harpoon towards the plane that's about to lift off question is why the f has that plane left yet i got the money a few minutes ago what do they do sit around and count it bond gets on the plane later we can see the money still tightly wrapped in that blue plastic wrap so no they didn't count the money thursday after midnight so that would be anytime thursday then census is lighter's files your name's all over them how meaningful is it that sanchez has lighter's files when nearly all the informants died before sanchez raided his office anyway i haven't got a clue what's going on but damn it i'm paid to rotate and rotate i shall come on i'm wondering how they think this is going to go when she walks out of the bar benicio del toro is going to start shooting at them as soon as she turns her back why does she try to board the boat as if she's evie from out of this world and she just froze the bar in time double 07 who i am assuming is one of the greatest shots in history mrs dario like a dick then when he has to shoot this rando he can do it while driving away in a boat i can't do a job like that for less than a hundred sixty ninety seventy and some seventy and some what do you say i mean that's what this negotiation is coming down to he agrees to pay for the fuel but that's just a euphemism for also this isn't even bonds money does he care how much it costs in case you're wondering they went down below deck to start also how do they get where they're going again they're out of gas right are they just hoping for a boat to pass by and save them i guess that's legit the director wasn't sure the audience would believe sanchez was an so they gave him this pet iguana wearing a diamond necklace just to be certain what's the matter baby huh you know i can't stand that thing that's iguanist we can raise the price 22 000 per kilo this month our wonderful manhattan chapel has just made a special 500 pledge 500 kilos i knew they'd go for it i'm not going to pretend to be an expert in the distribution of drugs those days are long behind me but is sanchez using the pledge drive to launder the cash from selling drugs to sell the drugs themselves or both either way this seems like a needlessly elaborate and public way to do your drug dealings whatever happened to the good old days of car washes and waste management okay they are playing from a single deck of cards right so why are there two queens of clubs visible in this game later when loopy takes over as dealer she has bond cut a single deck so this is a fraudulent deck of cards no wonder he wins every single hand on this table shaken not stirred using this hand gesture to describe your drink order he's planning a big party for some orientals tomorrow night so he's planning a big party for a bunch of rugs must be a lonely existence bond james bond the inconsistency between when bond chooses to use his often thinly veiled pseudonyms instead of his real name is baffling to me yes in this case when they do some digging they'll find out he's been fired but they could just as easily find out he has a link to felix especially after going through his office we know that's how he found out about pam so why not bond as well also is the movie saying sanchez doesn't know who bond is i mean i'm giving the movie the benefit of the doubt and the opening scene since it's possible he never got a good look at bond there but since then his henchmen have encountered him a couple of times at this point shouldn't sanchez have something like a police sketchup on by now and even if double07 doesn't think sanchez knows what he looks like how's he so certain that no one knows what he looks like to pull this off you'll be pleased to know your uncle has arrived his uncle is cute but i can't believe they don't have a way of communicating with bond even when he's gone rogue q should know better than to mysteriously show up to his hotel when he's trying to take down a drug dealer everything for a man on holiday explosive alarm clock dentonite toothpaste to be used sparingly it's the latest in plastic explosive how the did q manage to get this on a plane he just said he's on leave so it's not like mi6 sent him here on a private jet i know airport security wasn't as tight back then but jesus most of the items in this briefcase are explosives once i programmed it now nobody can use the gun but you i believe they did this that hobbs and shaw movie that either none or all of you saw there's absolutely no reason to have a biometric gun i mean if they somehow get in possession of this and it doesn't work they'll just shoot you with another gun or it'll just be niches smile boys don't use a flash pam has seen that everything in this suitcase is a weapon of some sort why is she suddenly dumb this is what happens to tiffany case and diamonds are forever has sex with bond that becomes dumb for no reason brother is on the payroll bond man sure was nice of q to come out here with no idea what bond needed and yet managed to give him something to get past these windows this swang seems like trouble based on what wanted to see solid proof of the drugs he's buying before he parts with 100 million seems reasonable to me i feel like sanchez has skipped ahead a few scenes and knows something we don't i hope olympic is paid for this whole damn movie because shoehorning this camera gun into the film is some of the dumbest i've seen the is this supposed to be kidding yeah when it's in its case it looks like a standard camera but it's still surrounded by some very very non-camera accessories like this damp sniper scope [Music] it's hard to tell if bond is shocked at seeing pam with heller or if he's just shocked at the astronomical odds of them meeting up at this exact second while he happens to be spying on their meeting spot for a totally unrelated matter probably the former but i'm gonna sin the latter i don't know who these ninjas are but they started following 07 immediately after he left the hotel so why did they wait until now to start fighting him hong kong narcotics you bastard we use ninjas you see didn't feel like questioning any of these people to find out who they were working for maybe give you an idea of who's onto you no just lots of boom boom okay lots of boom boom it is why the is sanchez even here he sent a whole goddamn army to kill the narc we're not gonna believe who this guy is former british agent how did you know that i'm assuming sanchez a security guy did some sort of digging into who james bond was but the fact that he's a former british agent just happened recently when this guy had found it weird when he saw a termination date of now the 17th there's cars all over the place you'll never make it luckily i'll only have to trick one guard for you to get out of here even though i just said there are so many also if loopy took the lift to come down here then what the did bond have to do to get down here you have to have gone through the house right how do you avoid guards and get down here at the same time as she did sanchez has arranged to buy four stinger missiles from the contras and he's threatened to shoot down an american airliner if the dea doesn't lay off why would he have any issues with the dea at this point he's able to buy off everybody and it took a tandem deacia task force to take him down last time and now all the informers are dead i think this movie really just wanted to have some stinger missiles and they wanted to say contras so it felt like the movie was on the pulse of the political sphere back in the 80s apple tv you want to do the driving you take the wheel well back in my cleveland days they did call me jesus i'd stick to flying if i were you i got the job done i'm struggling to understand the logic behind bonds judgment here wasn't the boat crash and ensuing distraction the whole point the water skied behind the plane jumps on it he threw the pilots out and flew away like a little bird yes on the surface this story does sound ridiculous but there were a ton of witnesses why doesn't crest get any of the divers to back him up although i can see them denying the whole thing happen just to cover up their gratuitous incompetence you rip me off then use my own money to pay someone to kill me i don't expect bad guys like him to think rationally but it's hard to believe he came to this conclusion so quickly even if bond planted the seed in his head that crest might betray there are at least two incidents where bond could have been identified and reported to sanchez it wasn't for some reason and bond strolls into sanchez's hometown and deposits 4.9 million dollars into sanchez's bank which is pretty close to the amount of money sanchez lost when bond stole that plane that doesn't raise a red flag the fact that he's a former british agent doesn't raise a red flag bond withdrew his money from the bank this morning and it doesn't raise a red flag but he sees a bunch of money clumsily thrown into a pressurizer on the day crest knows he's visiting and sanchez loses all common sense and kills the guy who is least likely to do the things he's accusing him of doing is this possibly the darkest death in all the o7 films we've seen maybe the funniest what about the money pattern don't say launder it don't say launder it don't say launder it god damn it knob blocker he's safely out of the country by now you don't understand last night he stayed with me this entire scene makes no damn sense loopy doesn't really have a clue who pam is to bond and i refuse to believe that after being so careful about exposing herself for this entire movie she would risk it all in the off chance that this complete stranger can help the only purpose this scene serves is to create a third act conflict between pam and bond and it is bullsh i love james so much huh but why you barely know him field operatives must often use every means of their disposal to achieve their objectives bullsh pam is right when bond it's almost always because he needs to get close with someone inside a criminal organization luckily for him it's almost always some incredibly sexy babe however in this instance bond didn't need the loopy he had already infiltrated sanchez's organization so in this case it's just to make her jealous and it's stupid i know q needs to look the part when he's out in the field but why does he need a radio installed into a broom why can't the radio just be hidden in the plants when he needs to use it bonds just left in convoy two cars in a jeep also putting to one side the offensively ridiculous nature of this communications device how in the name of mary poppins that q managed to sneak this broom into his luggage i'm going to have to ask that each of you put on one of these it's for your own safety so i'm sure you'll understand you would think this instruction would be fairly easy to follow and in no way offensive to anyone you would think i guess if you're about to expose it to some clients about the drug operation you no longer need a mask i know sanchez said that everyone could take their masks off but why the bond do it without being very careful about showing his face like pretending he didn't hear him and leaving it on now benicio is going to go all sicario 2 and or traffic on his ass this has a look like he doesn't need to be worried about they mix the drugs with gasoline then they strain the drugs into a beaker and filter out the rest in some other process taking a look at this operation this is way too complicated since sanchez barely owns all the cops and can pay anybody off he wants why does he even bother with this when you combine this with all the plane and boat we saw earlier this drug operation is more trouble than the money is worth i did have it sound proof so nothing will disturb our meditation i keep wanting to say something about wayne newton in this movie but all i can think of is he's playing this oily griffin tv pastor perfectly i think he deserves a sin off double x7 starts a fire in this place and even though it's a professional lab there are no water sprinklers set up and nobody tries to grab a fire extinguisher this makes the entire lab evacuate i mean so far all this movie has shown is that the fire is completely contained in the lab doesn't appear to be a huge blaze and if the people in the lab would just turn their extinguishers on they might be able to control it why can't the asian guys get into the limousine why do they run out of here the is this scene i mean how did the fire get down here in a second or two we'll see the lab finally explode but the glass was intact so did some of the fire walk out of the lab and jump down to the first floor or is there some other i'm not considering here oh god it's hella yeah looks like he came to a dead end yeah i'm sure he's pretty forked off with the whole situation too i don't really understand anything about this drug facility grifting religious commune but i find it super hard to believe that professor joe butcher doesn't have a means of transportation or an escape pod or some jesus bond i think her ass was doing a perfectly fine job of getting into the plane without your gropey assistance this driver is escorting tens of millions of dollars worth of drugs and sanchez couldn't splurge on a gun for him it's official james bond uses this fire extinguisher here more than anybody used one back at the drug facility when it caught fire ramming tankers full of drug gasoline this dick locks in on the truck double 7 is driving and then doesn't shoot the stinger missile for some reason he waits entirely too long so the bond can get out of the way i know he doesn't think bond has a chance to get out of this but god damn ah the diamonds are forever trick this is total but honestly the real is that there's road construction here with a convenient ramp laid up on a pile of dirt so that he can even attempt this this could be the most this workiest example of this work to have ever this worked its way to working oh no i wonder what the bond needs with any sort of backup or specialist training when all the gods of luck and the very fabric of the space-time continuum itself are clearly working with him to pull off ridiculously perfect pieces of timing like this well done franz another 80 million dollar write-off i guess it's time to start cutting overhead but why kill him did he do other than make you a ton of cash and then get rightfully pissy when you decided to blow up said ton of cash some more bullsh honestly this franchise thinks it can get away with absolutely anything as long as it backs it up with that awesome bond theme and yes said theme is scientifically proven to make anything 100 cooler but alas no less this thinks cruise control means the truck is going to not only maintain its speed but somehow stays straight on the road once he takes his hands off the steering wheel and the movie thinks so too nothing quite like rocket deflecting plot armor to sap the tension out of a climactic battle seriously it's hard to care about any of this when we are never in any doubt as to who is coming out of this alive it is very possible to be aware that the good guys are going to win and still have the audience worry for their safety my god this finale is like a rube goldberg machine of convenience specifically built to benefit pam and bond in every conceivable way possible and it is dumb do i even need to explain that sanchez can kill 07 right now but no he makes him lean up against this rock so that they can waste time until bond thinks of something to get him out of this mess as james shows sanchez the lighter before setting up a blaze with it i just want to say this guy's name was franz sanchez franz sanchez i'll be able to see you next week we'll do some fishing good i'll be out by then ah yes nothing like a spot of fishing to get over the death of your wife who was brutally murdered by a drug cartel on your wedding day mere days ago but hey at least you get to make use of that tackle your good friend sharky gifted you before he too was also brutally murdered am called he tried to reach you i think he may have a job for you bond managed to derail a british american and chinese undercover operation during his vigilante spree of vengeance and m is going to welcome him back with a new mission and a freshly laminated license to kill this is why these agent on the run films so often ring hollow there are no stakes we always know that as long as the bad guy dies the good guy will always be welcomed back with open arms also if bond requires a license in order to kill doesn't that mean he should now be wanted for multiple counts of murder also also m does indeed have a job for you but it's six years from now and you're going to look significantly more brosnan i thought you hated that thing i don't doubt she could have brought this up sometime off-screen but the only time she's mentioned that she hated the iguana was this scene when bond wasn't in the room leaving iguana at the bar and making it susceptible to health code violations you could stay here with me you could you could what was all that earlier about you being in love with this guy now you make it sound like oh well whatever you want to do pam if you want to pam she's crying over this guy she's known for like i don't know three days anyway i'm done double skip yank

Channel: CinemaSins

Views: 305,710

Keywords: wave jockey job, cinemasins, cinema sins, everything wrong with, eww, movie, review, movie review, license to kill, everything wrong with license to kill, license to kill reaction, licence to kill, james bond, 007, licence to kill review, licence to kill trailer, license to kill review, license to kill funny

Id: OFnpcmDDuXc

Length: 23min 19sec (1399 seconds)

Published: Tue Sep 21 2021