ENGAGED BEFORE & MY VOCATION STORY ~ A CATHOLIC WIFE'S TESTIMONY TO A CATHOLIC MARRIAGE

hey friends okay so I've been wanting to do this video ever since Valentine's Day but then my family got sick and so I couldn't do it but a lot of you have asked me I have a lot of single men and women who watch my channel and they've asked me if I would kind of give my story of how I met my husband and how I discerned and knew that he was my husband so I'm gonna share that with you it's like one of my favorite things to talk about is my vocation and as many of you might know I actually didn't get married till I was 30 years old so I had 20/20 all my 20s I was single and just waiting for my husband's begging God to give me my husband and stuff so I actually was engaged before I met my husband like five years before I met my husband and people have asked me if I would share that part of my life with them and so I'm going to do that I'm gonna talk about a little bit about that but then also about my whole location which is marriage because they were actually very similar and how I discerned them like in the beginning they were very similar but the outcome was very different I ended up marrying one of them obviously okay so the the man that I was engaged to before his name was Joe and he was a great guy he did net ministries and I didn't net ministries we did that in different years but we pretty much fell in love and he proposed to me and I almost immediately started having anxiety and fear and all of that and I just I couldn't something just wasn't right about it and and so I was having a hard time telling him I was so afraid to tell him because I knew he was so in love with me and to be honest I was so in love with him like he was a wonderful man my key was anything I could ever want in a husband to this day I could not say a bad thing about him like he was just great he was a devout Catholic he was very respectful of me he we wanted the same things and life children wise and family wise and stuff so so it was hard because I was 25 when we got engaged and I just something inside of me was saying that he wasn't the one and so I just struggled with that and I didn't tell him at first and then finally like the feelings inside of me just couldn't go away I thought maybe I thought maybe they would go away eventually but they just never did and so I finally told him that I was having these feelings and they were you know and stuff like I was having doubt about our relationship and so he said well maybe you're afraid of marriage so I come from a broken family and my parents got a divorce when I was very young and so I thought yeah maybe maybe I am just afraid of marriage the vocation of marriage you know and because forever seems so long and stuff and so I thought yeah maybe I am and so I ended up going through a counselor one time just once and actually that it was very interesting because I talked the whole hour and I was explaining everything and why it felt that way and you know and at the end of the hour the counselor was like um I don't think you need a counselor she's like in fact I kind of feel like you should be a counselor and uh and I was like oh oh that's very nice of you but that doesn't you know it didn't help me in that situation because I think a part of me wanted her to say you're supposed to marry him or break up with him you know and she wasn't doing that like you know she pretty much let me like figure out like talk it out anyway so what it came down to was through a lot of Prayer I you know went to a lot of massive I did went to confession all the time I tried to like try to discern the best that I could and what it came down to was God was asking me to let go of Joe and that was very hard because all I ever wanted was to be married and have children and here was a great guy who wanted the same things I did you know and that I loved and so I finally out of obedience broke it off with him and and was I was sad like the sadness thing go away and and I mean it's kind of crazy because within a year he was I believe who was married already like so he got over it pretty quick pretty quick but um which in itself was painful for me because I was still like kind of grieving the process and we had mutual friends they were kind of keeping me in the loop of you know what was going on and stuff so that was painful for me but but at the same time I'm very happy for him and wish him the best you know and stuff so so through that I am after that I you know started dating guys and you know I I dated some really awesome very respectful men and and to be honest they were all very respectful of me like I knew I wanted to save myself for marriage and I told them right away like that was one of my first conversations with them so that they knew exactly where I was and and they were all very respectful for me of you know towards me I think they actually like that that I was like a woman who knew what I wanted you know as far as you know a husband and what I expected and they were all really awesome men and really holy good guys and stuff but but nothing nothing nothing marriage material you know I there were times that we dated and I was like kind of forcing it like wanting it to be that person because they were great or whatever but it always came down to no it's this is not your husband you know and and finally I just had to kind of just give it all to God I kind of stopped dating for a while and I just remember it being like you know feeling like God was telling me don't have a back-up plan cuz I always had a back-up plan and he's like that is not trusting me and so I finally let go of all of that and I said okay guys like I if it means that I'm gonna be single for the rest of my life and that's your will then then that is what I want too and within a couple weeks that's when I met my husband and and so that was pretty neat story in itself I was going to st. Gregory the Great in Virginia Beach and I was in the young adult group there at the time it where there were a lot of young adults at the there and they had a Bible study that had an actual professor there and so I went there one night and I the entire room was filled full of people young adults and and there was only one spot left and it was by my husband and so of course I sit down and I like the laughs in there I'm actually late which I'm never late I'm very like on on time and prompt and everything so I sit down and I just feel sort of weird like something was up and it was to the you know it was like to this side of me and I did something was weird and I just had like this feeling and I don't get those like vibe I don't like believe in those but there was something different like when I sat next to this man and I like I remember I couldn't sit still like I was just like moving all over like this is weird like and and so towards the end of the class the professor asked a question and my husband raised his hand and he he said well when I went to Notre Dame you know and talked about when he went to the University of Notre Dame and I've always wanted to marry a Notre Dame guy I didn't know a single Notre Dame guy but I knew I wanted to marry one and so I was like oh who is this guy that I can't sit still next to and so that the class ends and I say oh like when did you go to Notre Dame and he so we I went to a game the same time that he went to university and so we started talking and stuff and it's so funny like all my friends my single friends like swarmed us so like Oh a new guy and stuff so it was just kind of funny because um so we started talking and I just like was blown away by him like he just seemed like an amazing guy like very humble very sweet like very intelligent and stuff and so um so I go home that night and I write in my journal I just met the most amazing man and but he was way too good for me but I hope to marry somebody just like him and and stuff so it's so funny I kind of want to like put it up on my wall like frame it so that I can remember when times get hard which in every marriage they do but I can be like this guy is amazing and I actually do tell him that all the time like how amazing he is and how I just God loves me so much I know because he gave me such an amazing husband to to be married to and stuff so so anyway so you would think at that point that it was just magical like we knew and we wrote off to the son's head and you know but that was not the case almost immediately after we started dating each other I started having the same panic and fear and anxiety and I was devastated I was just so bummed out because I you know I was I remember saying god I am NOT gonna find anyone better than sky like he is amazing he really truly is and so I really had to discern like you know what where is this anxiety and fear coming from and so I would go to mass I would go to confession all the time I do all these things to try to help me to discern like is this my husband or not because I knew that thankfully I knew this but I knew that Satan did not want me to marry somebody that would would get me to heaven would help me get to heaven so I knew that I knew that so I had to kind of discern is this from God saying he is not your husband Heather or is this Satan trying to say he's not your husband so I had to discern those two you know two things like is this from God or Satan and so that process was about two and a half months of just like having anxiety I woke up in the middle of the night I would have little panic attack there was all these things that you know I I was just struggling to know if this was of God or not you know and um and finally I started a nine-day novena and I asked God I said would you please at the end of this novena tell me if he is my husband or not I cannot live like this anymore you know I cannot live with this turmoil or not knowing if it's your will or Satan's will you know like I don't know where this is coming from and so that's where I had to discern like where is this coming from and so anyway with that I did the nine days I didn't tell my husband about it at all Eric did Tom I was doing it because I didn't want him to influence it at all either like I wanted it to be from God and got alone and and so we are in California at the time and we're at the mission in San Luis Rey and it's the ninth day of the novena and so I still had that anxiety and fear and I'm like okay it is still not gone you know and so I just told my husband well at the time just Eric but I had told him okay I just need some time alone I need to time to pray to God and just you know be alone with him he's like okay you know he was respectful and he went walked around and so I went I went and prayed on this in the side Chapel and I just beg God's her crying I said God I cannot do this anymore like I I give him to you because part of it was Erik was so amazing and so good that I just I held on for dear life it fear that God would ask me to let go and the more like held on the more anxiety I had because I was not truly being opened to God's will and so with that I finally said god I cannot do this anymore like I'm physically broken I'm spiritually just broken person right now and I can't live this way and so so with that I said god I give it to you I give Erik to you I do not know if this is your will or his but I'm I'm ready to give him up and I was literally ready to give him up goodbye I've never seen you again it's over like at that point and I think I knew that in my the depth of my soul that I was well willing to choose God and God's will over my own at that point and with that he took everything away and it was literally like that I had no more panic attacks no more fear no more anxiety nothing it was so truly like refreshing you know and and at that same instant I knew he was my husband you know it was almost like God was saying are you are you willing to you know it's are you putting him before me because I should be first even in marriage God should always be first and everything and so so I feel like he gave me that gift I'm okay like he is your husband and so I was just like oh my goodness like you know I was 30 and so I was like finally I've met my god like I know who he is like after my whole 20s are searching and looking and hoping I knew my husband and so and meanwhile Eric had known all along like he said he knew almost instantly that I was his wife so he was just patiently waiting for me you know and hoping for me and stuff and and I told him as I please be gentle like just I you know I just certain things and it I'm just fragile kind of thing and stuff so he knew to just not push it or anything and so anyway so I just got up and I was just like a new woman I was like oh my goodness you know so I was excited and so I went to find him and I go outside if you've been to the mission you go outside and right as you're going out of the side Chapel there's this huge statue of the Sacred Heart of Jesus and my husband is literally standing underneath it and I had just done the novena to the Sacred Heart and so he turns around and sees me and I'm just like I have like goosebumps and I'm like oh you know like thank you God like it was almost like God just gave me another sign like yes like I'm giving this gift to you of marriage you know and stuff so anyway so we we go and and I don't tell him I like there's something in time didn't where I'm like I know he's the one that I can't tell him yet I don't know why I like and so we're driving to Coronado to see his brother and and he could tell I was weird and he's like what is going on and I was like I don't know like nothing nothing and so before like as we're leaving the mission I asked I said okay if you want me to tell him that he is my husband then you need to give me a rainbow like I know he's my husband but if I'm supposed to tell him then give me a rainbow and I will tell him otherwise hey I need a little time you know and stuff so we're driving we're talking and it happens to be we are like literally driving into like it looks like pure darkness it's like blood it almost looks like it's nighttime it's that dark but it's in the middle of the day and behind us is all light and bright and and stuff so we're driving into this like dark dark like clouds and stuff and it's we're driving and we're talking and stuff and and he says he's like how do you do you see that and I I look and I kid you not it was a rainbow like in the sky in pure black darkness and I was like yes I do I think oh my goodness I can't believe that he's he's like why what happened you know and like oh I'm supposed to tell you something I don't know how to tell you and he's like okay and I could tell he was like nervous I think he thought I was gonna break up with him so I'm like okay you know so I told him the whole thing about the novena the Sacred Heart and how everything was lifted and and so we like both were just in awe we just were like super giggly and happy and like it was amazing and it was literally from then on that you know through we got engaged like a month or two later officially and then and then he within six months after the engagement we were married so it was like a year of like meeting and Anna and getting married that we just knew and I was you know older I was ready to have kids and all that so so it was awesome and I just I want to share this to give you all hope because I for me my vocation was something that was so hard to come by it was like those waiting times worse literally painful for me like I just remember thinking I'm never gonna find that person I'm never you know like I felt so sad about it but it wasn't until I just kind of let go and just let God lead me and guide me that is when he led me to my husband and I had no backup plan I just was ready to live the rest of my life as a single woman if that's what God wanted because ultimately God's will is gonna get us to heaven like his plan for our life is gonna get us to heaven he's ultimately knows what's best for us and what's gonna help us and all of that you know so and I will say marriage is amazing I absolutely love marriage I do and for some reason I don't know if it's because I come from a divorced family but I feared marriage I thought like that I would hate marriage like that I'm gonna wake up and just dread the man that I'm next to you know and I don't know why I thought that and there are definitely times where it's it's hard like we don't agree on everything in fact were very opposite like our personality is we took the personality test I forget the name of it but we've literally are the opposite on every single thing like I kid you not but we love each other so much we do and it's healthy and it's a holy marriage you know and we we definitely like help each other to grow in holiness and you know it's not always fun it's not always easy but thankfully we love each other and he is my best friend the love of my life like I wake up peaceful knowing that I'm in God's will every day like I there's not a day that goes by that I'm not thankful for my husband like I love marriage it is so holy and so good and because we strive for holiness we want holiness we want to be wholesome my husband said it so well to me I don't it was a couple years back but he he you know we pray together every night as a family and he said lord I pray that I thank you for our marriage and I pray that our marriage is a gift to you that our that we can be holy and bring you joy through our marriage and man that is the kind of man you want to marry like he is so awesome and he puts God's will before mine and that it there's nothing better than that and so anyway marriage is awesome it's amazing there is I just I pray for all of you I wish I had like a way you guys could all meet up because I've had many men and women single asking for help and I just oh I wish I could help you all I will say Pope John Paul the second I feel like helped us get together I mean it was you know that a secret heart that I prayed to but I feel like Pope John Paul the second he did theology of the body and he I feel like he's the just amazing I absolutely love him so pray to him ask him to help you and lead your spouse because it takes to the tango there are you know I told my husband I said I was ready for you like right out of high school I couldn't care less about a career or going to college I mean I did that but I really wanted to get married and be in my vocation and Eric my husband said I was not ready for you like he was definitely in the you know going to college that was his focus and then going into his career and then after his career was going then he cared about you know then he was about his vocation and stuff so it takes two to tango so even though you might be ready your spouse might not be ready and stuff so anyway I just it's amazing I hope and pray that you will all just a bad guy to leave you his will whether it's marriage or not marriage and use your singlehood to glorify God he can use you in your single hood just open your hands and say God where do you want me like how can I use my gifts and talents right here right now while I'm single and who knows maybe he'll lead you to a mission trip and you'll meet your spouse there or you know you don't know but always always give it to God because he wants what's best for you he knows what's best for you alright this is already pretty long so until next time I will see you all later god bless bye

Channel: A Catholic Mom's Life

Views: 74,556

Keywords: Catholic Marriage

Id: nJzcIUffZ48

Length: 24min 27sec (1467 seconds)

Published: Fri Mar 02 2018