Emotional Intelligence

all right good morning everybody happy friday my name is carly i am the events and community partnerships lead here at learn it and with me i have my colleague marissa our events and community coordinator and the lovely david lieberman who i'll share more about later and many of you are already familiar with um thank you so much for joining us this friday we are thrilled to be here with you we host these friday sessions every week uh for 45 to 60 minutes and so for those of you that are new welcome we're thrilled to have you here maybe you should just via youtube um or your new client thank you so much for being here if you are a recurring person to come in and and at our events we're thrilled to have you back thank you for being a part of our community um it's been so much fun to watch this program grow and be a part of its growth over the last year and really in the last six months um it's been an amazing source to connect with all of you uh both in these events and in our community platform off-site so if you are new i just want to give a little bit of context about this program and learn it we are a learning and development organization based in san francisco california and we train on skills for the economy of today and the economy of tomorrow so our goal is really to help you become a better person a better employee a better leader a better teammate um through both hard skills training and soft skills training a little bit about how these sessions work as i mentioned this is part of a weekly series we do the monthly theme this month is 21st century skills human skills you didn't learn in school and these sessions are always taught by a subject matter expert or sometimes will bring in a guest speaker to teach on a relevant and top of mind topic so emotional intelligence is our topic today and and we're thrilled to be here um a couple of housekeeping items if you have questions please use the chat i know we're using youtube because we had a really large uh attendance rate for this event so please feel free to put your questions in chat marissa and i will be capturing those and surfacing those um to david to answer throughout the session and after the session and then one other thing this event will be recorded it will be available in our community platform called offsite uh if you aren't already aware of offsite i will share more about what that platform is and some of the perks that are associated with joining our community after the session so stay tuned for that but without further ado i'd really love to introduce all of you to the wonderful david lieberman uh david is an educator he's an instructional program designer an expert in project management i've taken a couple of his project management classes and learned so much um and a communication expert so david consults with some of our largest clients here at learn it um as well as emerging companies and he's worked on our learnet team for uh i believe 15 to 18 plus years and has worked to develop our curriculum and really do a lot of custom programs for our clients so he oversees all of our remote learning and development programs for organizations so with that uh david take it away thanks so much carly you know um when we think about emotional intelligence it sounds good right and we all know people who are good at it we're like oh they're so good with emotions and they're so good with people and then the rest of us find ourselves sort of uh struggling is a good way to put it um hey how about this um when you find that your emotional state rises when become emotionally activated do you find it's harder to think right most of us do in fact some of us report that our brain just full-on stops working when we get emotional and so when later we're beating ourselves up for why didn't you think why didn't you think like in a lot of ways that's what we're talking about today and and man when we start getting good at it and using skills to deal with the way that us human beings are naturally built daniel kahneman proved that when you've got something that happens naturally and then we put a skill in place and practice the heck out of it until it starts to become real for us that that's the way that we can kind of overcome the natural flaws or at least things that don't serve us as human beings anymore and so today we're going to take a little bit of a slice of that of in the world of emotional intelligence how does that actually work right so at learn it uh mostly what we do are live hands-on instructor-led workshops right so if you book something for your team instead of being a one-way conversation like we're mostly having today we will have discussions and bring things up and see how things apply to us and then apply it to real world and practice the tools and talk about it and decide when are we actually going to use this later we'll make real plans so that you know so there's a chance of that learning transferring into real life and so let's do the best that we can today with that as well i just popped a slide up on the screen let's let's make it real we don't have to write this in the chat because this is personal right and let's take a second to stop and think about you know what's a time where your emotions led you to do something or sometimes to not do something sometimes our emotions hold us back right that we weren't proud of later right so um why don't we think of something at work and maybe something at home now it doesn't have to be a great big thing i saw somebody roll their eyes on a zoom meeting the other day they were like and everybody saw them do it you know what i mean emotions leading you to something you weren't proud of later maybe you said something maybe you didn't say something maybe you did something or maybe you didn't do something i'm both at work and at home right we have to recognize that we're real people and working home can you give me a yes real quick in the chat if you've got a real idea in your mind of a real time okay well then let's let's move from there here's the question for you if we've got this at work and at home idea um how do you personally how do you control your emotions i mean as as grown-ups we all develop schemes to oh that didn't work out so well with my emotions last time so what do i do next time we all develop schemes what do you do in the chat can you put a little bit of like what you do so that you control your emotions right some people talk about like i go on a walk right which works great as long as you're not standing in front of your boss and you're one of your leaders is elevating you you can be like right um what else do you do uh we're getting um breathing exercises faith says i go shopping isn't that amazing right some people breathe some people stop some people meditate right when you get emotionally elevated maybe in the moment you know what do you do to control your emotions um watching movies that sort of business right some people told me oh i play with my dogs right it's hard to get uh in a bad emotional space when dogs are involved most of the time as long as they're friendly right this is kind of a trick question because here check it out on the screen um here's how we control our emotions ready you don't you don't control emotions we have emotions we don't control them in fact what's really interesting here's a little model of zebrain uh if we check it out on the screen here uh hold on just one second all right we check it out on the screen here most of experience in life happens kind of around this ish area right you're walking around you're experiencing things things are happening blah blah blah um something happens and around this area it's actually not quite that far up our brain elements or our structures uh that when put together they refer to it as the limbic system these are things like the thalamus and the amygdala and that sort of business and this is where our emotions end up happening this is where we experience emotions so what's important here is that if we're walking around experiencing life and this is where our kind of fight or flight or duck sort of stuff starts coming on when we have uh when we have brain activity it spreads out through our brain and it hits this limbic area first most of the thinking happens up here right you've got your cortex where automatic thinking happens and the prefrontal cortex where we actually stop and think and say hey what am i going to do about this and that sort of business right if you like labels then here you go here's what's important this is the important part that we have emotions before we ever think it's it's in fact it's impossible to think before you have an emotion so if you've beat yourself up about that kind of stuff and i know i have before and like david why can't you stop and think instead of like have this great big emotional response well then um the answer is you can't no matter what your whole life you're going to have emotions before you think and so what's interesting is emotional intelligence sounds like such a cool phrase doesn't it it literally means activating your intelligence while you're feeling emotions right so what what we're really trying to do here is when the limbic brain is going crazy we try to activate the prefrontal cortex so we can actually think now what's cool about that um you all have probably heard like we don't use 100 of our brain and maybe we'd have some sort of like magical powers if we did there was a movie about that you know what i'm talking about right um that's total bs we use almost all of our brain you know they do studies with eegs and mris and they can see things lighting up we use almost all of our brain just just not at the same time right if your whole brain lights up you have a seizure and you fall down that's that's what happens there and when the uh limbic system is going the limbic system uses a ton of blood and energy like electrical flow is what's going on so if you've experienced that hey when my emotions are going hard i can't think and sometimes i freeze right the motor cortex is here the prefrontal cortex is here right you freeze you can't think you can't do anything it's it's literally because the limbic system is running so hard that the rest of your brain doesn't work neat isn't it right so the idea here is well what if we can make it go the other way what if we can do things to start activating our prefrontal cortex you know the prefrontal cortex is um literally it's like three to five percent of your brain mass and it's the most energy hungry part of your brain so if you start like activating your prefrontal cortex not only does thinking start it literally de-energizes your emotions like it steals blood and electrical connectivity which is happening with neurotransmitters from the olympic system and your emotions go hmm you guys you guys have seen this happen i saw that people talked about um you know they go for a walk right when you go for a walk your motor cortex which is mostly about nya activates and it has to so you don't fall down while you're walking and it literally takes blood and energy from the limbic system and de-energizes your emotions right so what we're going to do here today is kind of um leverage that the way that our brain actually works to be able to manage our emotions and most importantly to be able to get thinking running while our emotions are going and man i tell you what the first couple of times you do it you're totally going to mess it up and it's still going to work better than it would have otherwise and it feels so wise right wisdom is such an interesting thing isn't it being able to work with emotions and act in a way that you're proud of later when you know that's not how you would have done it before wow that's that's growth so when we're talking about emotional intelligence here's really what it is um it's it's about the ability right this is the result of it anyway the ability to recognize and understand and manage our own emotions and and then later the emotions of others right and the way that we do it is by activating our intellect in emotional situations pretty cool isn't it hey um why don't we take a second and reach out to see uh if there are any questions running through in the chat um carly is there anything we'd like to address so far yeah thanks david we have one question about um how do you if you're in the presence of if you're having a strong emotion maybe in front of your boss or a manager um maybe you're about on the verge of tears or a negative emotion um and it kind of catches you right by surprise what can you do to maybe manage that especially if it's sadness or tears or something that's going to physically be seen on your face yeah thank you um the good news is that's coming right up right so it's it's where we and learn it like to take a learning journey here and where we're at right now is basically the insight or the um mindset right in the mindset of emotional intelligence is that it's a physical response and there are things you can do to physically change your brain so that you're able to think instead of you know whatever you did before of course it's not magic our emotions serve us by creating action and things like that we feel lonely and so we're around other people and then we survive better right and and wow it sure does work yeah thank you so i guess the real answer is let's put a pin in that one for a second awesome thanks david you're welcome um hey just just so you all know um when you read about emotional intelligence sometimes they call it eq they call it eq because iq already existed that's that's really the reason right iq is a very specific test um made to determine really two things um it's all about problem solving right so it's not about like how good you are with emotions is about solving problems and it's about solving problems with things that you already know or if they give you information they say hey this is true and this is true and this is true then they give you a problem and your you use that new information to solve the problem but that's really all iq really does uh iq is based on an age right your this smart at this age is basically where it all comes from and what's interesting is iq is going up every generation or so they have to adjust the iq test to normalize it back down to 100 as normal because people are getting better at solving problems they think it's because of education and because of you know we all grow up solving problems nowadays how does that work right either way iq is a very specific measurement an eq not so much there is not a standardized test for eq although you can get online there are a whole bunch of them there's just aren't any standardized ones right so when we talk about here are some results from measurements when eq they're all kind of a little bit different talent smart by the way is an organization that basically gets out and tries to figure out hr problems and then they partner up and sell that information and what they found is really fascinating that at work when they apply their own eq test what's actually an eq test developed by professors that 90 of top performers have eq um or high eq i'm sorry um basically what they're saying is it's the most responsible thing for whether or not you perform well at work uh it's responsible when they start leveraging it out to 58 of high job performance and people with high eq generally make more money which is super cool i mean we all know people who are really smart and really bad at people don't we you know those people right i know i do and um and those generally aren't the people that are successful at work or that raise on up so real quick let's uh define what eq really is they're basically four levels of it and the reason the levels are important is because if you try to start doing one level before you're at the others and good luck for you right um first really what we're talking about is um hey what's really going on with me we've all been wrapped up in emotions where we just do something right based on those emotions and and it's very very hard to manage at all if we're not like wait a minute what's happening here now i know that sounds trite it's just that our bodies do not want to stop and think when we're going through our emotions our bodies want us to act there are people who say that our emotions are designed to make us act right if you're like or you get angry you do something and then you survive back in the old evolutionary days right well once you've got some self-awareness then we can start putting some of the self-management tools into case now you've got yourself that you're dealing with you're on an even-ish plane anyway now we can start paying attention to others when we're wrapped up in ourselves good luck with that and only then can we manage relationships so today we're going to start with self-awareness here right every your favorite and mine socrates said that to know thyself is the beginning of wisdom and in the age of uh in emotional intelligence that's what they say as well right so here's what we're looking at if you've been like well how how david how do we do it right here here's what the research around emotional intelligence and learn it we like to leverage research instead of articles or blogs or opinions here's all the research around emotional intelligence and around some of the um therapeutic methodologies that utilize emotional intelligence techniques say actually works right so here's what's important first um i mean we notice we get into an elevated state we're like and instead of jumping on it what we're really looking at is man just because that crazy train is going through the station doesn't mean you have to jump on so what's most important there is to stop for a second and give your brain the chance the chance of even being able to deal with this sort of stuff so what we're looking at here first is like oh stop it's hammer time now um basically you're noticing what's going on and then breathing seems to be the way through it right a couple people in the chat said i breathe when i get into that situation and we've heard that a couple of times you're like david just stop stop david take a breath take a breath you know what i mean um you know what's really interesting is that there's a good amount of science behind it as well uh you know when when we're talking about breathing to control our brain right they they call that cleverly brain breathing and here's basically what's going on remember what we're trying to do is activate other parts of our brain aren't we one of the things that we might do while we're breathing is we count i find that for me if i go one two three four five six seven eight nine ten eleven twelve i don't know why i count to 12 real quick seems to chill me out or at least keep me from jumping on that crazing train and when you're counting it activates both mathematical and language areas of the brain so remember what we're doing is pulling out of the limbic area here what's also super a trip super trip is that uh there's this great big nerve called the vagus nerve that runs from the base of your head here all the way down into your intestines and when you breathe on purpose when you intentionally breathe the vagus nerve lights up and one of the things that happens when the vagus nerve lights up is it signals your body to de-stress they don't know why those are just the cause and reactions around it here let's let's do this we're going to take an intentional breath and when you do feel what it feels like in the back your head a lot of people report they can actually feel the vagus nerve lining up right so let's make take like let's do it for three seconds ready intentionally breathe three seconds go can you feel that like weird sort of like buzzy floaty sort of like feeling if you can in the chat say a little bit about what that feels like that that vagus nerve light up that's no joke right so for those people who were saying that one of the things that i do is i breathe that i breathe apparently the science supports it and and what's also cool is intentional breathing on purpose uh lights up areas of your brain that control paying attention anticipating reward controlling impulses acting on ethics and monitoring decisions as well just by like breathing on purpose now here's the really neat thing here is that when you're in the middle of a conversation let's say somebody says something super confronting to you right they're like and you're like right you know what's neat is conversation studies show that you have anywhere from five to six seconds before the other person even notices that you aren't even talking right so if somebody says something that like triggers you you're like what and you go that was only three seconds usually it's five or so five or six is what the research says before people go uh they're not saying anything or they say or they say like um you know something back to you so it's not like you don't have that time let's consciously count out six seconds worth of breaths you don't have to count six seconds in six seconds out um ready six seconds go six right now if you keep doing it of course you can get yourself into a meditative state and what's most important when we're dealing with our emotions are generally being able to deal with our emotions right away right away here's here's the tool or technique around it this this is by the way the tool and technique that they used in the actual studies so if you're like well how what's going on these are the step one and step twos of it when we visualize there are parts of our brain where we actually visualize in so we're talking about seeing it not just thinking about it visualization means you see it go up one nostril and down the other nostril and kind of up one nostril and down the other nostril or up one nostril and out the other nostril and back in that nostril and back out the other nostril is the way that vedic practices generally do it right so uh and then we count right what you don't need to do is take these big uncomfortable breaths let's let's try this for let's give it another four seconds it doesn't have to be a big long sitting under a tree meditating kind of thing we're just letting our brain start itself up instead of the limbic system hijacking everything ready let's go four can you feel it does it have an effect right away it's pretty interesting isn't it you know carly uh any questions popping up yeah uh give me one moment david we have we had a couple in the beginning or a little closer to this one we just had a lot of people saying they felt lighter um they felt that tingly sensation with the breathing um we have it we have one question i think from um c rainville about how do you kind of like manage i think this is kind of an impossible task but how do you manage other people's emotion emotions so if someone else is having like you know maybe they're not doing the breathing they're being really reactive um how can you kind of manage manage for that um if maybe they're not meeting you in that calm state yeah good um what doesn't work is saying hey calm down we've all been there right what also doesn't work is saying hey breathe breathe david like um i can see that you're upset david now i am now i am right so the reality of the situation is there there are interesting ways to help people through that and part of what we can do is something that works for everyone it's modulating your voice so what we're not talking about is slowing down what we are talking about is smoothing out it's not exactly that am radio host and it's not like hey ladies it's not like that kind of smooth it's just let's smooth ourselves out a little bit so you take a step or two closer towards that am radio host and that can have an immediate effect a little bit later in this we'll start talking about how to deal with that as well and and a lot of it is just noticing what they're putting down um so hey let's let's jump directly to uh the real tool for managing our own emotions because because right now where we're at is like preparing for the tool remember what we're trying to do here is activate our prefrontal cortex right and so we're like okay breathe hold on a second which which does start activating other parts of our brain and then there are two steps now um here are the two steps the idea is step one if while you're in this emotional state you can label that emotion you're like hold on a minute what am i feeling i am i am oh i i'm feeling overwhelmed or i'm feeling embarrassed or i'm feeling sad or scared or something if you find yourself saying angry or frustrated you know what's interesting is that anger and frustration to a lesser effect are response emotions right so if you find yourself being angry or frustrated what you might consider asking yourself is what did i feel first and we almost always feel a feeling and then we get angry about it which drives us to action by the way the um difference between uh suppressing emotions and managing emotions right because there is a difference right the difference is just recognizing that that emotion is there if you try and push it down like we don't even want to think about it do we and what's interesting is studies show that that increases limbic arousal we've all seen it pushing down emotions doesn't really work right so if we recognize that that emotion is there that manages the emotion and at the same time when we use language language starts our brain going doesn't it we're cleverly using language by naming an emotion but and your brain isn't going to want to do this so sometimes it's very hard to do and then we ask ourselves a question to get ourselves thinking about the situation right the psychologists call it reappraisal where basically what we're doing is asking ourselves some kind of question and those questions are generally one of these okay what's what's the real issue here or um with what's going on what's the evidence that i have to support it now what we're not doing is arguing with ourselves i want to point this out here you might be totally right in your like jump to assumption it's just that uh when we start thinking about it then we're thinking remember that's the whole point of emotional intelligence is to get ourselves thinking which is why it's great to ask ourselves what's going on or uh one of the ones i like is like okay hold on what information is left out here what am i missing when i'm dealing with a person right sometimes in one of my relationships at work or at home somebody does something and i'm like what right away i jump to the conclusion of why they're doing it and i'd be doing it like this so of course they're doing it like that you know what i mean right um so i like to ask well what other reasonable thing could be going on with this person what other understandable thing could they be thinking in in the practice of emotional intelligence you know if you take learning classes you're not going to hear us saying like memorize this very often and in the practice of emotional intelligence they do recommend that you memorize one or two of these questions best practices usually you memorize one for situations and one for people right so for example when i'm feeling like ah about a situation i like to stop and say hold on what what don't i know what information is left out and this gets my brain going and all of a sudden the emotion goes down a little bit and i start thinking when i'm dealing with people i like to stop and say what what reasonable thing could be going on with them to have them acting like this right this works at home for me quite well how about you if you had to pick two of these remember you're not arguing with yourself you're getting thinking going which ones do you pick neat yeah all right so what you might do later is come back this recording will be available on youtube and find this part on the video and full-on memorize two of those questions for me personally my brain absolutely does not want to name an emotion it's like no and sometimes i go right to asking the question it's not as effective as if i do name the emotion before i ask the question and some working is way better than zero working isn't it right all right so here's here's the tool if you're like david can you break it down to us in three steps so that we can do it like we would in a learn it class then yes here are the three steps oh something's going on hold on a second give me a couple of seconds of brain breathing and then what am i actually feeling here put a name on it put a word on it ah well what's left out david i'm like oh what's interesting is that it doesn't really matter what i discover is left out or what i don't discover is left out what matters is i ask the question question drives intelligent thought doesn't it because here's step three after you've asked that question and thought about it for even a second or two it's hey what could i do that i'll be proud of later i've personally done a whole bunch of things that i was proud of in the moment and then later i was like right so that's why it's what could i do that i'll be proud of later this this statistically is the most successful path forward as far as emotional self-management goes when we become emotionally elevated if we can stop and breathe for a second or two with label the emotion and then ask your pocket question the one that you might memorize this is apparently the most successful way through it let's pause for a second and reach out to carly and see if there are questions from the gallery in the chat carly anything we might offer yeah thanks david um we had uh one question around that was interesting um but i think there's a sense of logic here that comes in with with these steps um but one question that marcel had was um is there a way to kind of like immediately go into this set of steps and logic kind of like you would in in terms of meditation where you instantly go into breathing um is there a way to and maybe it just comes with practice but is there a way to kind of get yourself to immediately go to these steps um if it's not as natural right maybe you're great at breathing but going into this kind of logical um order is difficult do you have any tips for that just to make it more muscle memory here's here's the thing um that's what i was hoping for too let's train myself out of having emotional reactions and unfortunately that's the physiology of our brain we have emotional reactions before we think every single time now what's also interesting is that people report that this process that we're doing now becomes easier with practice the the average by the way is nine times trying it before people start reporting like oh it's getting easier to do nine seems like not that many times except we're talking about nine times when you're like hold on a minute you know so something real is going on there you might need to give it a little bit before it comes easier what i can report personally and this is very anecdotal is that it does become easier and it never replaces the way that your brain actually works right so you'll still make mistakes you'll still screw things up you'll still be like why did i do that david right and and the likelihood of that will go way down right the number of times that you come out doing something you're proud of later goes way up is that addressing what's being asked there carly do you think yes thank you thank you yeah really helpful now um as as we pivot let's pivot a little bit into well what about other people that right it sure is nice to like deal with other people especially if we're on the plane that we need to be on first and we all know people who have emotional reactions right here's here's the big deal most of the time most of the time when other people are showing emotions to you one of the things that they're doing is communicating aren't they if somebody shows you anger they're communicating if somebody shows you sadness or they're like ah they're communicating that something's going on that emotion is a communication and if we don't recognize that emotion if people don't feel like they're being listened to is really the the full message they're just gonna send it harder you know that's why when people tell you calm down you're like don't tell me to calm down because that that message is showing how important things are so what we're really talking about um when we move into the world of uh managing others of managing relationships of noticing a couple different things that are really important one is a little man i hate to say it but it's it's listen it's listen right and and for those of you that are like i'm not really the best listener that's because that's not how we're built we are built to think of what we're going to say next and we're judging when we're listening don't we we judge the heck of like is this right well we're listening we listen with a goal so that we can win later and um sometimes we're just distracted and that's our brain our brains not build to be like let me listen to what other people are saying our brain is built to survive and survival means thinking of what to do next and getting what we need so if you feel guilty about that then um [Music] welcome to the club and and listening turns into a practice as well right so here are the most important things and maybe you can take a little snippet or two again we we unpack these in big ways when we get into our workshops uh live workshops and everybody gets to try it the the biggest part of listening is asking questions the thing is man like people say oh ask this question when you're really doing active listening and then you come off as super fake don't you and people are like whatever my wife said to me one time a long time ago she said um david can we just have a conversation like real people and i was like i am a real person you know but but it's because i couldn't think of what to say and so i said something like oh can you tell me more about that you know what i mean it comes off psychobabble fake fake here's here's a methodology that i really like and it's around treating people like they're the expert you know when um when you're at a uh speaking engagement or you're you meet an expert and you're like oh wow this person really knows a lot the way that we ask them questions is very different isn't it you don't say like tell me more about that instead you say oh hey i'm wondering if you can help me understand about this or i'm wondering what you think about that or i'm hoping you can tell me a little bit about your experience about this or about that right the way we ask those questions is very very different when you treat someone like an expert they feel like an expert and and they are they're an expert in their own feelings right now aren't they so if we're talking and we're listening and then we see something it's it's okay if you ask right this is where a lot of body language studies start coming into play right we're noticing and we're like um hey uh you know i can see that your your arms are crossed and you've got like a look on your face and i'm hoping you can tell me like what's going on it's absolutely okay to ask about that kind of stuff right if you know people who are like nothing fine um here's a magic trick for you right um you don't have to say you seem angry what's wrong very easy to deny here's what's hard to deny hey you seem different what's going on just let it hang you seem different it's hard to argue with something's different isn't it isn't it right so it's okay to notice in fact in the world if you're going to be looking for like uh well okay what am i going to really notice what am i really looking here for um in our larger workshops we spend a good amount of time on body language body language is so much more than crossed arms isn't it and and here's here's something that you can roll through your head when something important comes up it's it's it's an acronym people like acronyms don't they this is what to watch for the acronym is witches tackle big eskimos witches tackle big eskimos and so if you're asking questions and people are sending a different message than their words these are the things that make up the communication the w in witches is words you'll hear the words i hear you saying of course tone means a lot too the b is body language and the e is the emotional component of speech right so if you're watching and you're noticing incongruencies between these things it's okay for this is what you're noticing for right well i hear you saying that words and your tone is sort of saying something else can can you can you help me understand what's going on so much of managing outward of managing relationships isn't really really managing it's not about controlling it's about recognizing what's going on and then reacting appropriately to it right either backing off of something or getting that out getting their own emotions out right and of course the only person we can control is ourselves and um that's that's kind of dubious as well right and and when we start noticing or approaching questions in a way that show that we're interested that don't sound like we're psychopathically false that call out what we're really seeing that's how we get intelligent about outward emotions it's the ability to look you know of course you probably do by it that it's really hard to notice what's going on with somebody else if you are emotionally elevated right which is why that practice of stop and breathe and name the emotion and ask yourself one of those pocket questions leads you to being able to come up with something that you can do that you'll be proud of later it's pretty neat isn't it it's pretty neat carly uh with the minutes that we've gotten left are there any questions that we'd like to reach out for yeah thank you david i think we have we have quite a few questions coming through but one thing i see kind of as a trend too is um you know especially today we live in a world where we have a lot of different you know a lot of people have very different opinions you know like i sit on the side of the fence you sit on the side of the fence um you know there's there's just a lot going on politically socially how do you kind of manage i think even coming to and being your best self in the workplace um with even just the context of what we're of what we're kind of living in today of just being a more emotionally intelligent person i guess just what is do you have any like one big tip around um just kind of managing that and being an emotionally intelligent person at work given the given the current state of the world yeah here's my one big tip it's the same right it doesn't matter if it's this person has a political view that's that's triggering you it doesn't matter if this person just said something else that offended you it doesn't matter if this person is so stupid and causing you so much trouble right um your reaction is the same your brain goes what and then expects you to make some sort of like immediate action so for you to be able to go okay what am i feeling right now i'm feeling kind of offended what other thing could be going on with this person that is understandable well maybe they are frustrated with the way things are going currently what can i do right now that is uh that i'll be proud of later i say well you know i think we have a different view on it and i respect the idea that we all can have different views and maybe what's a good idea is for us not to really talk about this too much right now i'm not saying that's the right answer that is way better than what i would have done if i reacted on just my emotional reaction based on somebody else saying something i disagreed with so really it's all kind of the same thing it comes down to that with kids as well you know our kids trigger us and have us acting emotionally quite a bit don't they if we stop and go okay what am i feeling i'm really feeling frustrated i'm feeling frustrated because i'm not getting done what i want to get done what could be going on here maybe the kid is just having fun i don't know what can i do that i'll be proud of later it doesn't really matter what my answers were it mattered that i turned on my brain and got to a part where i can act in a way that i'll be proud of later hopefully that's helpful i mean it's it's super super like deep isn't it we have hours of workshops about this usually we spend two hours on just that self part and another two hours climbing into outward management and so if we see you or your team in a learning workshop please feel free to say hi also we love to hear that these workshops sparked something around that and otherwise for learn it my name is david lieberman thank you so much for hanging out with us if you want to hang out with us more we have a community site called off-site you know like when you have an off-site with your work clever right where you have direct access to facilitators like me or we have a whole tech side where we're talking about people who deal with things like power bi and you have direct access to those people you have direct access to all of these free events and it's free right so if i see you there if you please feel free to like hit me up and say hi otherwise i'm going to pass it back to heart to carly thank you so much everybody pleasure thank you so much david uh everyone if you enjoyed today's session just share a little bit of love for david in the chat maybe a little round of applause or just one thing you got out of this session um or maybe just one word to describe uh how you felt about the session today we'd love to hear your feedback so thank you so much david uh for a wonderful session uh just a couple things i know we promised at the beginning of the session that this would be recorded it will be available directly on youtube um but it will also be available on our community site offsite and so we really invite you all to join us there i'm going to share just a little bit of context about offsite and some of just the immediate benefits that you can get with joining us here so uh the most immediate benefit is access to today's recording we also have live instructor help uh in off-site so david and the rest of our amazing experts and guest speakers are in off-site and you can chat them directly you can ask questions on different topics that you're interested in we have a whole channel on 21st century skills and emotional intelligence so there's a lot of great content but also a lot of great engagement in there for you to ask your questions after this session that maybe we didn't get to today and then there's also exclusive discounts so david mentioned we do do a full-length emotional intelligence workshop we do a lot of workshops ranging from 90 minutes to a full day so if you are ready to dive deeper um please reach out to myself and marissa and we'd love to help you get enrolled in class and there also will be discounts associated with those courses posted and off site so the link to join is in the chat as well and just a preview of what's coming again this month is 21st century skills human skills that you didn't learn in school um and so next week we are focusing on giving and receiving feedback on the 26th we'll be doing more of a tech skills and and hard spills session on microsoft office productivity tips tricks and shortcuts that'll blow you away so things in excel outlook we'll do kind of a mix um and all of you who have attended all of all events in in march so we're on number two if this is your second event thank you so much for joining us um we will be giving an exclusive badge to uh those of you that have been joining every week and that can be shared on your linkedin so it's really a great way to show your employer maybe if you're looking for a job um just that you're working up skill and you're you know you're dedicated to this community and um and improving yourself so with that uh i really want to thank all of you for being here again please reach out to us with questions and we hope to see you next week thank you so much happy friday

Channel: Learnit Training

Views: 5,563

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Id: QAdh06gob5c

Length: 47min 50sec (2870 seconds)

Published: Fri Mar 12 2021