Emotional Eating: What if Weight Loss Isn't about the Food? | Tricia Nelson | TEDxWestMonroe

[Music] [Applause] i reached my spoon down into the pint of praline pecan it's the perfect last bite gooey caramel swirling around creamy vanilla ice cream with two delicious maple pecans that will add just the right amount of crunch but i can't enjoy this bite you see i've not only eaten the entire container of ice cream but i've also devoured a full bag of popcorn half a package of cookies and 26 hershey's kisses i feel completely sick disgusted i sweep up the remains and i throw them in the trash vowing never to eat that kind of crap again i collapse on the couch after a few hours the cookies in the trash call to me trisha and i answer in a trance i stumble over the trash can find the cookies and polish them off once again my insatiable hunger drives me to new depths of shame what's wrong with me why can't i stop i'm such a loser at age 20 i was 50 pounds overweight i hated my fat i had a roll of fat on my tummy that i would scrunch up in my hands and imagine cutting it off like you cut fat off the side of a steak i sometimes wished i'd contract a disease where i'd automatically lose weight without having to diet i even considered joining the army so i'd be forced to exercise at boot camp i hated to exercise i was a yo-yo dieter up 30 down 20 up 10 and as a result i had several sizes of pants in my closet because i never knew what size i'd be my skinny jeans collected a lot of dust as i wild away years looking for the the hidden solution to overcoming my weight loss problems i found that solution i found that key and it wasn't through a magic diet in fact dozens of studies show that diets generally have a dismal success rate a recent study in the british medical journal follows 22 000 adults on one of 14 popular diets they found that within one year participants regained all the weight they had lost yet if you do a search on amazon right now for diet books you'll get roughly 50 000 results this was my experience no matter what diet i tried of course i'd start out strong i'm doing it looking good feeling good pants getting looser but then after a couple weeks things started to get hard i mean really hard and at some point the tension in my gut would become so unbearable that i would just break down and binge and i always put the weight back on again and then some so the million dollar question is why did it get so hard my experience is that when i would diet all the feelings i had stuffed with excess food would come to the surface and i didn't have the tools i needed to deal with them that's what kept me stuck in a cycle of self-sabotage eating was how i coped with life if i wanted to lose weight and keep it off i had to develop healthier means of coping this changed everything for me when i adopted healthy ways of addressing my emotions and stress my weight stabilized and my relationship with food became so much more peaceful i'm excited to share three of these key ways with you the first key was a change in my perspective instead of focusing on what unhealthy foods were doing to me i started to address instead what they were doing for me pep is an acronym p-e-p the first p stands for painkiller my painkiller of choice praline pecan ice cream of course so after indulging in any form of sugar fat and starch my favorite three food groups i'd feel nothing i was unconsciously using food to anesthetize uncomfortable emotions but my eating ultimately brought on more pain the e stands for escape because when life got a little bit too intense either from family stress financial fear or just overall feelings of anxiety curling up with my favorite foods in front of the tv always took me to a far away place at least momentarily and the third p in pep punishment which seems counterintuitive i know because yummy foods seemed to be a reward but i was hardly rewarding myself when i'd overeat and end up feeling sick yet i did this over and over again you see i was not only an overeater but i was also an over feeler i felt guilty about everything and i was also super hard on myself when i'd make a mistake so when cookies start calling my name i ask myself what's really going on am i trying to perhaps numb painful emotions am i looking to escape from something that's overwhelming or perhaps am i trying to punish myself for something i've said or done that i feel bad about this is an easy way to begin making the connection between my eating and my emotions the second key to finding balance is reducing stress so in my experience both personally and professionally overeaters tend to be overdoers i was always on the go always putting everyone else's needs first never slowing down long enough to catch my breath or eat a healthy meal stress plays a role in elevated cortisol levels and cortisol increases appetite and causes our bodies to store fat instead of burn it so for me an important and crucial piece of the weight loss puzzle was self-care when i began to integrate self-care practices into my life i had more emotional balance and i had more energy and i no longer craved coffee and chocolate for stamina so some of the traits that works best for me that i do every day are meditation and journaling but you may be thinking hey lady i don't have time for self-care i'm a busy professional with a job three kids and a neurotic dog think again when we take time for ourselves we actually increase our capacity to give to others and we're also better equipped to handle life's challenges without turning to food so another key element of self-care was changing ingrained habits that caused my stress so in my work i've observed several traits of emotional eaters that tend to be most common and i refer to these traits as the anatomy of the emotional eater the achilles heel for most including myself is people pleasing so i lacked self-esteem and i chased the atta girls that made me feel worthwhile and as a people pleaser i said yes to everything sure i'll chair the committee happy to host the party and of course i'll do your job and mine and jerry's job no problem i don't know about your experience but any time that i really knocked myself out to try to please somebody they were never as pleased as i planned on them being so i was not only burned out but i was also kind of resentful and this was the perfect storm for justifying yet another i deserve it binge changing this habit by learning how to say no when there's too much on my plate so to speak really helped reduce my stress and my feelings of hunger now the last key in overcoming my emotional eating super important get support from a community of other emotional eaters research shows that group support increases weight loss results and it makes sense right i mean temptations to eat unhealthy foods are everywhere think tv commercials checkout lines at the supermarket and parties so overindulging is a socially acceptable past time that's difficult to curb without support plus i gotta tell you there's nothing more comforting than connecting with those that really know the shame and humiliation of behaviors like digging binge foods out of the garbage so you might be thinking isn't it silly to need help with something as basic and seemingly easy to control is what i put in my mouth not so fast the truth is emotional eating is one of the hardest of the addictive habits to break why because we have to eat what we're up against is a really akin to taking a growling tiger out of the cage trying to pass the nice kitty and then somehow get it back inside the cage without getting mauled not so easy unless you have the right kind of support sarah is a mom wife and award-winning producer who is tired of her dependence on sugar turns out she was numbing her feelings with more than just food things like nicorax gum or evening glass of wine and overworking sarah would often work straight through breakfast and lunch and pay for it with a late night binge she never gave herself time to just chill sarah was at the end of her rope when she reached out for help so within weeks of learning new ways of processing her emotions and addressing her feelings and her stress sarah was not only off all the stimulants that had kept her propped up but she was also feeling so much less anxious sarah was coming home to herself her daughters noticed a difference and even asked how they could adopt these same practices for themselves you can develop the same sense of peace start by taking the pep test and really ask yourself what's going on when you find yourself taking yet another trip to the kitchen is it for perhaps a painkiller an escape or are you feeling bad about something and is it a form of punishment next manage your stress by implementing self-care habits that can help you feel more centered and also take a look at things like people pleasing that may be causing you more stress and finally nourish your soul through connection and community with other emotional eaters that can help you stay accountable and stay on track with your goals these simple steps while having nothing to do with food can make a real impact on your food choices and your ability to reach a weight that works best for you i'll leave you with this i believe we can all enjoy a relationship with food and with ourselves that is both peaceful and self-caring it starts with looking beyond the food for answers thank you [Applause] [Music]

Channel: TEDx Talks

Views: 91,935

Keywords: Addiction, Body Image, Diet, English, Food, Health, Obesity, Self-help, TEDxTalks

Id: SVSe2vaxXXM

Length: 14min 15sec (855 seconds)

Published: Tue Jan 25 2022