Elon Gold on Israelis

I love the Israeli people there Israelis here tonight today we're the Israelis ah gah very solemn sovereign love the Israelis love the Israelis I never know where I stand though when I'm talking to an Israeli cuz here's the thing they're very upbeat people I mean with everything that they're facing everything they're up against they remain positive and upbeat but they always sound annoyed like even about good things like the whether they be like it's gorgeous outside I don't believe it are you mad that it's nice of what you be mad take a look the sun is shining it's beautiful your eyebrows are furrowed you're yelling at me this does not seem like happiness I never know where I stand with them because also they end every sentence with a question right they will come over to me after show be like hey you know if you did the very funny show no what do you mean no it wasn't it wasn't funny this what I'm saying at the people they were laughing yes but you can't get a word in when you're talking to an Israeli you can't get a word in because they always repeat words and phrases or your name over and over and right so it's like Elan Elan Elan Elan Elan Elan Elan Elan Elan listen to me listen to me listen to me listen to me ill Anil Anil Anil Anil and please please please please please please Elan Elan wait wait wait wait wait wait wait thank you people know that's what that's what they do they will take a Hebrew word and say it about eight times and then it's English translation 15 more times right it's always like lo lo lo lo lo no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no come come come come come come come coca fo fo fo-fo well well well well well well well well and I love Israeli women they're all a very beautiful and smart and and and Israeli mannered macho macho man there was like a you know I was in the Army and I fought in a lot of walls and they're like Jewish Arnold Schwarzenegger guys you know what I mean you know what I mean I was in the army it was a fighter pilot and the the narwhal was in the first one that I did the sequel I've been on too and and I was in all of the tanks and those it and they're like Arnold Schwarzenegger they hit there s is the letter s they have this sort of like cute effeminate Lisp you know they're like I don't want these I will have this yes this not this please yes please ok this noticed you knows and I'll made this one okay please I fought in the walls not this yes please my favorite thing that Israelis do is they take a word that's plural and make it singular and then they also take a word that's singular and make it plural it's always reversed right they've always say they rose they're always like em you know I hold a lot of story about this in fact it reminds me in particular this one stories whenever I eat soup I like to pull a lot of gluten into my soup but some people's they only put one Putin's it's weird I don't get it so my favorite Israelis because I live in LA and there are two kinds of Israelis that we have in Los Angeles there's the kind that we all know and love that are like the high tech innovators you know the scientists curing diseases and then there's the kind that didn't quite meet their parents expectations and they're selling skincare crap out of a kiosk at the mall still good people they're trying but you got to be careful of them because they always they pay you a compliment that's how you get your attention with a compliment but it's immediately followed by an insult always right it's always like excuse me you'll have beautiful skin oh my god but it's not perfect I see you have you have much many skin problems not just one problems you have this is when you are teenager you had a lot of zit you had a lot of zit when your teenager you have to get rid of this so you'll never get married I am married okay well then she will leave you but the best part is when you have to bargain with them because you don't have to do any of the work there's no bargaining on your end they do all the bargaining for you it's literally a one-man negotiation you just have to stand there quietly and just say okay so this year normally I charge $800 but today for you 80 I tell you what you take it right now I give two four seventy you want right now you want right now take a line at all even better I give you two for sixty okay I'll give you two how many want only one okay I'll give you sleep for 40 okay so you for 40 or for facility what you want say for falsely up to you up to you up to you up to you up to you where you going we're going we're going buh buh buh come come come come come come come come come come come come come you know this comes five in a pack I give you the whole pack of five $20 right now take it right now how much you have on you only ten ok give to me give to me give to me give to me take it take it take it take it take it take it take it take it take it take it but just so you know I'm losing money on this

Channel: Joe Danziger

Views: 258,543

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Id: _sOXdD-yjvA

Length: 5min 41sec (341 seconds)

Published: Tue Nov 28 2017