Eddie Griffin on Tesla and the camps!

[Music] so AMC partnered up with Disney plus see and I said hold on to it and now it's about to blow through the roof because they've been plotted with that little rat because anything that big is is not a mouse it's a rat so uh to all my people that hail strong on AMC [ __ ] hold on our time is here now uh I'd hold on to it you know after the initial surge because it's gonna shoot through the roof once the deal is closed with Disney Plus but I'd hold on to it for at least a year foreign [Music] they got a couple of superhero films in the cut once those drop now um Disney plus buying AMC Theaters meaning that this superhero films are going to be destined for the movies at AMC Theaters only why else buy it uh everybody said I was crazy when I said hold on to it who's crazy now sons of [ __ ] you might want to get in the morning like nothing like right now where's my [ __ ] coin because if Disney is buying it [ __ ] the [ __ ] is already going up they're about to make a story I didn't see they gonna never die that's just everybody's Gonna Wanna take the kids to the movies that's why news are guaranteed bet [ __ ] Who's Gonna Cancel taking that kid over some covet [ __ ] oh some coffee it's a family outing [ __ ] I'm going to the movie theater with a mask coughing I'll give a it's a family outing yeah that ain't gonna never change [ __ ] want to see a movie like it's supposed to be saying at a movie theater not on a TV [ __ ] or in a handheld apparatus you ain't getting the dynamic sound like you ain't feeling your clothes move when the jet [ __ ] time group that's why Tom Cruise is the best Tom Cruise ain't none of my films coming out to the movie theaters is back and he dropped that [ __ ] Top Gun right on [ __ ] time now is the highest rated movie this [ __ ] yeah because he had a real story like I'm sitting in the movie theater [ __ ] I love talking but the second one [ __ ] that [ __ ] had me tear up twice in that goddamn movie you ain't seen it no y'all missing the [ __ ] up we were actually watching it a little earlier before we went to the show for the first time well now they're having it so if you have Disney plus you get like tickets for like five dollars to the movie I got it if y'all want to watch it but like you saying pop is the it's the experience that the movie theater give everybody nobody and see here's why the status quo man them them Democrats I want to shut down AMC and all professional sport outings they still on that uh and but it's going to be a new pandemic how the [ __ ] you know it's gonna be a new pandemic [ __ ] unless you're planning it right yeah I hear that's gonna slang to the people be ready it's coming how the [ __ ] you know what's coming you old fight so be ready to deregulate the system be trying to derail system right as far as money making apparatuses for common people delete have their money and now they're trying to shut down any access to any money by anybody else who is not Elite they've closed the door on the rest of society they've given us the Heisman Trophy post [ __ ] this is all this [ __ ] disease and all the [ __ ] is about is saying y'all got left behind and we have nothing but death for y'all asses y'all not welcome to the party this is why they were shut great businesses down ain't nobody making money but they not sending checks because they shutting your business down so your employees are not getting paid they starving your business is starving then they're gonna come with this PPP [ __ ] what no no I don't need no PVP I need my regular salary I can show you my books on what I have been making send me that annually until y'all get done telling me I can't open my shop and sell [ __ ] send me that how come that ain't the status quo oh that'd be too much like right PPP help us pay our debt no I don't know because it's alone but how the [ __ ] you don't give me a loan when you took my business in the day it was yes I don't know how the [ __ ] so now you're gonna give me a loan now I'm in debt and if I cannot get out of it now the government owns my business mm-hmm this is the this is the greatest robbery of American Wealth from the rich Robin and full see Robin Hill Robin Hood used to ride rich and give to the poor these rich [ __ ] they didn't learn it Robin Hood game real good they robbed the pope with fear everybody stay in the house wear a mask you're gonna die meanwhile they out on boats Yachts planes no masks because they knew it was a joke they watching the news like this [ __ ] me this [ __ ] really works me to you me to you telling Vision programming they told us visually to be afraid and they made everybody scared all day 24 hours a day pulled us into their [ __ ] day under the illusion of alone yeah free money illusion of protecting us yeah that work from a disease that never existed it's always present in no Mass like I said on stage [ __ ] if Corona is real where did the flu go I mean the flu said I'm losing to Corona and I'm no longer here but it's flu season every year except for when Corona showed up the flu like all right I'm out Corona's winning the corona we gotta dress up like Corona and the flu yeah that negative Corona gets the flu and the headlock [ __ ] you gotta leave time and they both get to do interviews but you know I was killing 180 000 per year but Corona showed up and it's killed 180 000 per year they saying that he out killing me it's the same goddamn number man that's all I'm saying but somehow people got tired of the flu so they had to rename me as Corona throw my name on [ __ ] so you know I I hey I'm the flu 2.0 man better known as Corona then they predicting Corona gonna be here this December I'm back flu season is coming back damn and it's here because 180 000 deaths annually it's just what it does if you are not healthy your immune system is not airtight the flu is going to kill you yeah that's why old people mostly die from the flu as every year because that's who died from Corona mostly mm-hmm so now they got two reasons to kill instead of one no the [ __ ] youngsters that died from Corona took the shot three in the first shot killed a bunch of them yeah but I mean you know what's in this shot every disease known to man Google it Google was in the shot every disease [ __ ] AIDS uh cancer every [ __ ] known disease to man that's a hot shot yeah it's a hot shot but let me show you how God made our system you can give us a hot shot and they thought that hot shot was gonna immediately kill Millions no God created this immune system that is the greatest immune system on Earth and it processed each one of them diseases and spit [ __ ] and piss this [ __ ] right out the system which is why Bill Gates is like it's not working things cause God ain't for the [ __ ] it's gonna take more than a shot to kill off God In the Flesh you get what I'm saying I beg to differ uh they raised them gas prices for a reason because they want everybody to go Evie they want everybody to buy an electric vehicle so if they keep raising that higher you're gonna switch because Mama's like this game is so high I might as well get an electrical I could plug it in my house and it'll be on my electric bill when they kill that bill hold on now you get an Eevee uh election control vehicle they can drive itself so if they want you in a camp you think you got a destination that car gonna drive you to that camp and lock you in that [ __ ] till you make it there for sure someone had the old electric cars no ain't no hacking it is built to be hacked they can drive you off the road if you're a danger to society [ __ ] you want them troops saying [ __ ] like me I'll drive this [ __ ] off the road what happened his electric car got a glitch and it drove him off the road that's all they gonna say that's why I refuse to get one of them [ __ ] that's Vegas it is the biggest it's already happening you know so many people have already died in new cars and they ain't even you know made they ain't gonna make no news out of it because the news is on by the same companies [ __ ] the oil companies own the EV companies which is why EVS are readily available now the EV is so old the first EV was made 1940 but the oil companies did not own it so they killed the [ __ ] that had the patent on it black man again in the 60s the EV company had a new EV player and they they sold a bunch of remember they they systematically hunted down everybody on the EV and pulled them back into the factory and shut it down and and now the owner's dead damn thank you electric vehicle ain't nothing new this has been doing [ __ ] that made a hydro function not twice made it run off water right yeah real quick yeah now there's a new one there's a new one he's still alive he got protection I'm gonna ride in my gas guzzler I'm saying that I can control you know or the car hold on hold on hold on that's not true the car will automatically take itself to a charge station damn if your destination is New York from L.A the car will ramp itself stopping at every charge station to charge so that you can finish your destination it is AI smart it will say and this is the route we're taking and all you you all you gotta do is be a pastor you can be hands off the whole ride now if this is a fact and it is say all these [ __ ] need to die that's the program that it has drive them to the camp you're like where you going saying [ __ ] to you it takes you to the camp you're trying to get out the door's locked the windows will not roll down it all leads to death but you drive to the camp once you get to the camp it opens up and lets you out so if you go to work that's gonna be the the crash of the UV mobile because if they start doing that [ __ ] Ain't gonna buy them shits what do you mean it's all right when they start doing that It's The End ain't no more buying all EVS are going to the camps [ __ ] at the same goddamn time what I'm saying it's gonna be collected I mean he's gonna pull in drop your ass off and it's gonna be and everybody gonna be in the camera now get your ass at work break them bricks you don't see it you didn't tell the first guys died no so they were in the Tesla S [ __ ] up and it was like you know what we're gonna destination home one of the dudes got in the back seat the other dude got in the passenger seat Tesla drove into a tree oh kill both of them and that has no idea they you know what they tried to say it was like yo they made some they made some adjustments to their radio um that you know could have made the computer system satellite radio Freak come on man Tesla yeah pass blood on his hands hell yeah and he wants to go to outer space just like every other thing I need to go down this place what what's out in outer space and they never make it the rocket [ __ ] hits the Furman and the Furman stops it ain't nobody been to the Moon ain't nobody been outside this giant cage with trapped in the fundament is real this is why rocket ships take off and they start shooting at an angle they'll scrape the firmament and they always land in the ocean mm-hmm and then they shoot some grainy film that they were on the moon it scraped the surface of the firm it landed that's all in one day but the landing is like a week later but that's when they show it all the [ __ ] happened in one day The Landing is the coming back there's no satellites out there either [ __ ] there's no satellites you know you don't write it soon they have so many compartments that break off when he goes so how is the [ __ ] the same when it lands yeah same as it takes off or even the satellite yeah no there's no sound lights they are hanging satellites in the fireman this is our GPS system yeah they screwing [ __ ] into the ferment and that's the permanent GPS system they call it space but the space between Earth and God is called deferment until he opens that up it's going to be continued firming Prison Planet uh pretty much we're his pets imagine having hamsters and they wow the [ __ ] if you left them out they eat your dog and you catch you gotta have a cap on it don't you it's called the fireman it's in the Bible nothing will get through the furniture of a snow globe no um Flat Earth is real all right the world is not round if it was I I get disprove this many many times but anyway um there's an ice wall around all three dimensional world called Earth that lays on a two-dimensional plane all right there's an ice wall this ice wall is connected to other so-called Earths where dinosaurs live oh no more but we're trapped in the center on this planet in an ice wall this is why if you fly from anywhere on Earth to Australia I know to Antarctica why do you always have to fly to England damn to make it seem like the world is round you had to travel that far from Florida and Antarctica is about four four and a half hours on a straight shot so why the [ __ ] you got to fly in Florida to London and then anywhere you come from you got to go to London in London in London and then no you go on to London because the reptilians dead said you must come through there

Channel: Eddie Griffin Funny Money

Views: 286,258

Keywords: Eddie Griffin, Stand Up, Eddie Griffin Comedy, Eddie Griffin Podcast, kevin hart, hartbeat production, funny, comedy, comedian, plastic cup boyz, actor, stand up, lol, laugh out loud, LOL Network, eddie griffin def comedy jam, def comedy jam, stand up clips, martin lawrence, jokes, comedians, best stand up

Id: XzR_jD61SXU

Length: 21min 50sec (1310 seconds)

Published: Wed Nov 16 2022