Dying at Grace (Part 2)

you've gotta chew it or the nurse will come yeah come on where's my dirty luck that's it let him come up good boy that's all right that's good don't give him a dirty look now you swallowed that okay open up again then gee you slept all morning yeah a rough day didn't you hey what were you doing last night party too much hmm no church tonight no churches are too bad - Lloyd Greenway mexica glioma and pulmonary embolus he had some nitroglycerin spray for anterior chest pain at 11:45 his color seemed to be quite good at that time his pulse was 76 he had the oxygen going continuously and it was okay know if you get tired you take somebody okay so they're gonna bring you up yeah did you bring help and this morning on the way down I stopped at the Clermont in fact I've both probably open trusting now this is Rittenhouse mm-hmm see this used to be the old hotel right at the corner Sudan and Mount Pleasant this is the pool on the roof busy dudes you can see this huge glass don't they have a swimming pool new dressing they have a hairdresser yeah so I thought you'd be interested in looking around um but to me it seems that this kind of apartment would offer you more I think so in terms of care if your this would your lots of plans yeah do a lot explanation the goofy I think I'm on my deathbed your friends yeah you know what you were when you came I know when I know that oh you don't have to explain so much you just need to stay yeah yeah improved hmm the muds went on but I haven't I haven't written notes I said that night didn't send me Christmas cards I just lost my sister so I didn't think was appropriate to send Christmas cards but cards going to bring me some New Year's card but that's a little more appropriate so I can send those in January when I'm up to it I don't want to get into too much detail because I don't know yet well I'm so glad that you're gonna start connecting with your friends definitely oh yeah six twelve bit three Rick card C 8th along with hepatitis C positive to talk with Rick regarding his smoking at nighttime we don't want him to go outside especially with the elevators being wonky he understands this and he says sometimes he feels a little bit edgy and that the smoking helps he's had a breakthrough a purpose I took my mouthwash here Wendy's gonna bring you BM yeah okay we put the foot part of your bed down because your opponent angle all my life yeah either pull on an angle or okay here you go your cocktail sir thank you take my few steps all this with this first before I see bill all that okay you can drink you want to drink here the can OHP you ring your Bell if you need me okay okay [Music] you know I'm you and I spoke yesterday yeah and I think what we're trying to do today is just talk about Lloyds what you want to know is his prognosis and really what to expect what are we looking at here yeah there's always the outside chance that things can happen fairly quickly it's not the more usual way but it can happen timewise that's why it's very difficult to say exactly it is really the as hard as this is to do and the best thing to try and do is to take it one day at a time that's what easier said and then okay unfortunately it's a very bad disease and it's you know it's it's taking it's taking its toll yeah I can see it happened faster yeah really can yeah yeah yeah it's a difficult time warm but we're here for you to support you and if you are able to take some time now is the time to be with him because I think he's ready from what he said this morning does he talk about dying this morning Edith is the first time he's sitting there with his finger like this it's a what is that a hard thing to hear no comfort to you yes baby much better because he's better probably I don't know what this mental state because I mean he's preached for years yeah when it come to the time he got afraid and that's what scared me more than anything and yet today quite comfortable I said to him don't worry about it he said but you're gonna be here and now it said yeah I said that don't forget I won't be long behind you you know an isotope to anything just do better and there's Rick come out of his coma apparently Benny can't when Sue was arranging his admission but he's come through he's had a number of years he's had his percocet two taps twice on evenings and then on nights he had a beer some ativan and percocet three times circus I doesn't break through so that's why how's your breathing I'm having a tough time on one side it seems like there's a big part of a bill and it won't come out are you well I'm trying to cough yeah it don't come out like there's no flame or nothing right now you've done pretty well since you've been in here though you were you know not so great the day that you came in what happened there was I was at home and I was OD'ing on my drugs like I lose my senses for a while right so I was losing to count yeah like I didn't know if it was Monday Tuesday wasy what time it was uh-huh so I forget by I took my last drugs yeah so I might taking five minutes ago I said whoops time for drugs and take more drugs yeah that before my doctor I'm I'm on my drugs is what you've gone through 118 perks yeah hey like in three four days yeah you know right like you need this this care you know yeah so they got together yeah is that why you ended up coming in here yeah Lloyd every time I go in there he is so despondent someone responded to just you know everything's hopeless and we wait you doing me don't got me real close he whispered I said no I can't hear you so he whispered he says yeah well the result of this will determine whether you're gonna be released out yeah I think so well I can I can decide that if I want to be released I can be released yeah it's not up to them I mean you oh yeah well I found a great place to be in life we can go and see it actually this week this friend of mine has the condo that's the street side piece so we could slip in get the keys check out the health club which that's thrown in one year yeah health club there you go you can be down jogging yeah nothing jogging that makes you say I'd like to get back into that if I can and it says that you appoint us to everything y'all no no this isn't the property one we could do that oh we can do the personal care you can divide that in half a tray make sure they got you right all right so here's what it says it says you give your the people you've named the authority to make any personal care decision for me that I am mentally incapable of making for myself including the giving or refusing of consent to any matter to which the healthcare consent Act applies if you get Google and any instruction yard that conditions or restrictions contained in this one now the one we talked about was like the living will where you would decline a refuse artificial life support remember you said if you're gone yeah I'm right you're gone so that is an instruction and once you write it down here then even if you can't tell them what you want we can tell them that's what he wanted here here's what he told us are you right now sign it okay well let's just think about the words cuz it's kind of important okay you decline artificial life supports I could put in called heroic should I say heroic artificial my support like well you know you should ask them in here there what you did yeah feels okay though it doesn't feel like the other place does it yeah no the ghosts don't hang in here very much no they split oh they're on John top level to get there on the they're on the plane right they haven't already and died mama where you having yeah I'm sad yeah it's okay it's okay the girl the same an awful lot God will make it up to you right does he understand you want him to leave [Music] Thanks let's just pray together they're gonna come to you and I bring these your child and you love temple I just asked father that you would surround Holman with your presence it is for him to leave all those that he loves especially anger solution there's something been going to your presence in peace forever more now have you had a CT scan before yeah have you had the IV injection with no problems with the previous injections all right this way do you have money requisition I do [Music] just making sure your feet are just at the end table two people down just a tiny bit work should take any know I that is God well that's fine everything else is okay as you know the tables for the spy back and forth through the ring as we're taking pictures you got the best part yeah you got the top bunk all the pot on the bottom but this is your spot I'm on the edge the nice hey they didn't like this combination it's a girl I used to go what years ago when I was in my spiffy days shoulda held on early hey she I tried I tried very hard but I was I was freaked ornery Hey set my waist and I'd come home when I'd come home how long ago was this in its heaven II don't know where she is now no I don't know why I keep hearing the picture round yes you get attention like wall of women I've gotten with she was the best woman I always hold on to the best memories yeah I got lots of them yeah good and bad some were rough and so meaty going but a lot of them are roughing life you know well it hasn't worked out too bad also do you think you would want to go through chemotherapy again the way is he alright now I don't I don't get you feel pretty good oh no no because of that I just don't want it like you know it's not a cure and if I'm going to be living in Rome then you know you have to be well enough in [ __ ] you've been anyway he said he was going to be very small dosage you know a weekly basis well if it was the difference between he said to you well this chemotherapy might give you a chance five good years old we've never no no you aren't gonna know maybe five months but I would think that would that would be the most you get out oh yes that's I wanna do oh yeah yeah fine do the rest of it in six left a bit to Lloyd Greenway his condition really has sort of taken a nosedive this morning he had a fair bit of pain it seemed to be mid sternal in the chest area on the right side and it seemed to radiate to right through to his back and he's had some dyspnea with that and he's really um should we get your mum again [Music] [Music] [Music] that's that we have to go to sleep you can let it go let it go dear [Music] you have friends in there you can play with it for four days and not only come addicted that day I'm learning a lot in your hands from you but after the fifth day you're hooked I didn't get involved in that oh yeah I was in a house I was into it for 40 years heroin yeah I first spent a couple million dollars of Meyer made to touch to to try to find a vein in me like see this one yeah that was all dried right out and like you could pump up razor you know and that game I joined when you're gonna get is my pulse okay and you may not right that's not a penny yeah that's how people diet you and how do you suppose you survived all those years all that abuse to your body I survived damage like I think I seen the wait tunnel twice hey I just welcome to death to spurt Weiss and they revived me rotation they shouldn't know they shouldn't know because I'm only gonna go back to the same team yeah well you see there's something bigger behind all that right there's someone else looking at Oh can't you see the just average Oh Oh are you okay there yep you've done yeah best things I did well it's been trying weeks for you yeah waiting and wondering and yesterday that's to be quite an ordeal but how did you think it went well I thought it went pretty well I wasn't expecting any miracles I was expecting that news Sasori not knowing I didn't want to spend another six months yeah you know what I mean yes what do what actually did he say to you well he mentioned that the best way to go is to take the oral pills he thought it was playing the time how do you feel about that I told man I would go for the oral if that's what he thought would be the best thing for me at this time yeah yeah oh yeah yeah cuz I didn't want to take any more chemo but I didn't want to take any chemo where I had to go in and have the injections I didn't want that [Music] [Music] don't put p.m. that pullout that's normal it's probably gonna steal alright yeah there's no note in the green one right there why during a new room it's a private room okay yourself so if you don't hear anybody else that's why the this is just a verbal report we have the the written one will will come in another couple of days so this one is just very preliminary but it shows a shadow on both lungs yeah is that good or bad well we'd have to to see the full one to see the exact extent of it but if it's a bit of difficulty on both sides it may be that it's a bit worse than it was so we know a bit more when we get the complete one concerns about day I just got through to go back from that ODSP and promote me or demote me from $966 down to one hundred two dollars a month yeah no I can't live on that yeah Jody will will last Jody to talk to you about that and she'll she'll be better able to help you with that right I might go back out to my my lifestyles yeah cuz yeah this let's just say my lifestyle 604 bid one eat a cynic see the breast with liver Mets either declined her Pio meds this morning since she was waiting for her chemotherapy we started her first dose at 1300 hours okay how are you well I just feel a little pooped out yeah we do it more than one way oh I'm okay yeah then report this one they said you were feeling the down yeah I was ready to get up for a shower and then no sudden I got it's not tired you know yeah so I phoned ahead to lay down and remain ever since yeah I do feeling a bit down in spirit oh no no oh I can't be smiling day and night here put it three shifts I agree with you you know what I mean yeah yeah yeah me I'm always trying to smile yeah keep my spirits up but yeah I get tired and smiling all the time Aloha says very very good for all those muscles oh yeah chicken what is not that are really showing thank you for coming can you tell me about your concerns Wow it's that went down some from 966 yeah down to a hundred and two dollars right yeah man that has been my expenditure mmhmm yeah in my lifestyle mm-hmm like that that's diddly-squat yeah yeah if I seen you open your bank wallet mm-hmm you know I'd probably break your jaw for it uh-huh yeah and I don't want to go through all that again yeah I'm getting sick and tired of this life mm-hmm yeah this the way it makes us go on mm-hmm how's it going for you right now not so awfully yeah cuz the way things are headed you know they did it they're just not sailing you know like mmm-hmm what is it that you need now I need some cash charity know if they put me out do not just go put me out in the street we're not gonna put you out in a bit yeah you know I didn't expect it no no I mean you're very appropriate to be here are you afraid we're gonna kick you out on the streets no no if I go I just turned I just turned back into a mean animal ladies yeah I'm I'm growing it an hour make five $600 it's not more right yeah mm-hmm is that something you want to do you know I don't wander yet eat a steam act breast cancer room 604 she had her chemo 9:00 this morning and this afternoon she called for dr. Haggerty and said she didn't want to continue with that so now it's been discontinued that's a new order and at 1:30 she was complaining of shortness of breath she didn't want oxygen at that time wanted an ativan it was won by the news what she had at 1:30 to play I can see a little bit 6:12 Astri Rick Pollard Salem with hepatitis C positive at around 20 to 10 patient became paranoid his belongings in a search for his knives he said he had two knives and he wanted to leave and around 2,300 patient became paranoid again he took off his gun and stood up and holding the bottle of beer and tried to bang against the window and we caught the security guy and we try to ask him to come out and he asked for smoke and we promised him to give him a smoke and in us to go to the bathroom so we helped him to the bathroom and we got the bottle back and I gave him a nose and five milligrams sub-q at 23:10 at that time and after the he went to the bathroom actually it is no boy at that time and [Music] we're not so what I've told you that I go to prepare a place for you and if I go their place for you I will come again and receive you unto myself that where I am we thank you for his life after what he is meant to those for all the accomplishments of his life the way they served you throughout his lifetime with him then he does not walk to this with you my name of the fire [Music] ah [Music] the big loss for you the whole new life now [Music] [Music] late motor starting new life you've been working we should also have somebody so attentive to us at this time as you've been with him should all be blessed that way [Music] Lord Greenway has rallied he's taking chicken fluids he's verbalizing a little bit there's been no seizures or congestion you have a good night so now a nurse's already fixed you up for the day did they okay yes you've got an itch we'll have to wait see the nurses whether they want you to have something to drink the researcher be cold and your aunt join a couple toothpicks to hold your eyes open hey what's the matter in Rome 614 is red Pollard we say long hepatitis C positive his condition remains very poor within the last few ships is benefits deteriorated and his condition is very unstable though he's clear out the room and Philippa very responsive and less agitated he remains congested + + respiration is wet it was messy maintained on oxygen 3 liters per minute - heart roll we had no generator bleached his shift his Wanda God is walking fine had the sitter and as well not morning this morning [Music] just come up my way here you're gonna sit down again on the bed like this what you're going to bring your legs up onto the bed okay that's wait for Alison when you're done the top will do this give it here Rick ready money to mystery [Music] I just feel like I want to let go I think that's charity we've entered deliver then I started to think that what do you think contributed to that sign of peace going back to my faith no he's not very organized religion yeah [Music] probably had a lot to do with my sister dying the way she died and how long it took was ill no she came you came you didn't know she was dying she wouldn't tell us well guess what I'm hearing about your stepsisters that that was a great disappointment for you definitely besides everything else but that that to me was just unbearable I know love yeah that's kind of sad I hate I feel sorry for her more than anything else so I guess what I'm hearing you say there's no second chance [Laughter] okay guys there were another chance not when I'm in this predicament because I don't need it you're afraid you know I'm not afraid what's wrong with it no I want him I want to frighten her why frighten her how so I don't want her to be able to get in touch with me and that keeps her worried like she kept us worried since my fifth week dad what happened this morning is he was actually fine he kind of slept through the latter part of the nightshift basically up until 6:00 or 6:30 and then just when we were coming on to shift about 20 after 7:00 extremely agitated again jumping out of bed like I said he'll it's kind of deceiving he's very lucid he's you know calling us by our names right now and being Wrecking making jokes and whatnot men who literally kind of flip right off very quickly and start hallucinating and gets very paranoid and angry and doesn't know where he is and it's thought then we have to really act quickly he's definitely regressing to parts of his past and a lot of thing whatever happening then it's all coming up right now he's talked about police and people that get him wrong and very angry today Lloyd are you still having pain the nurse is here can you tell her she's gonna give you crazy okay okay close it up close it Lloyd it'll help you test me that's the nitroglycerin it doesn't taste great but it'll help you feel at peace Lloyd yeah got nothing to fear okay the night did you have yeah crowd how so I sleep in fits insurers way captain regular day dreary do you let the nurses know yeah I use it come up and get a pain pill yeah but what are you taking I've taken DeLaughter yeah no I'm taking a perspective it's okay you know but you need to take the dilaudid I think you get more pain relief from there's too much morphine why did the man make morphine hey and what does that do to you you get addicted to these in here like Rick you know what you don't get addicted when when you need it for pain that's the truth you don't need to worry my friend about getting addicted that's the least of your worries right now so you take the dilaudid I'm Peter because it'll control your pain better in and you mustn't let yourself suffer you've had enough pain or something in your life huh and it's not a concern our concern is to make you comfortable as comfortable as possible until my best you said you felt I felt pretty down to fear a society I faced that three times just we're vibrant the way you might die had synagro in a gun battle you know at this waiting EDA has taken a turn she is angry underneath her confusion and exhibiting bizarre behavior she doesn't seem to know where her legs are supposed to be they feel like the red she said she is having a hard time taking her medication she looks quite distressed in there - here okay are you having some pain alright I'm just going to take a little listen here and a little look is that Alright I just want the tickets we just heat my gold just take a small listen here okay it doesn't make any difference it's just that I be here for a while okay I need some rest I've been going all day okay do you have are you staying some across the street Marriott oh good okay yeah I'm all set there okay you know how this is lawyer has not had a very good evening he was quite tremulous and agitated at 16:30 midazolam milligrams sub-q was given at this time with effect he was complaining of cramps like pained at 17:30 and his right leg and in his abdomen morphine three point seven five milligrams left Keating he was given with excellent effect just held him to about proximal aidikoff for a little bit thereafter when he attained became quite restless and distress so what's your sister's name in California Paul we have sister Pauline have you talked to her oh oh yes history calls but once I really six weeks Oh six weeks she was very sad about does she know at this point that to eat is this yes see that they catch me in the middle yes of course I was just I mean you're being towed yeah I see would say well why don't you tell her this and I said I'm not gonna tell her anything either I said you want to tell her I think here's the phone she felt somehow that she ignored our freedom and you when Freda was so ill nepali came is the best she could that's a long way from california those years the next day you know she and not only that she had to find her own way there was anyone for you to die there was yeah there was no way no buddy to pick her up and and she said oh I'll do it on my own I said I'll have somebody there meet you no never mind she came on her own suitcase and all and she came the next she came the next morning I guess it was after she never contacted her for a long death true she said she felt she's forgiven her but just because she's forgiven her doesn't mean just to carry on with the relationship that's right yeah you have to forget yeah and she felt she has forgiven her yeah Rick has some edema dependent a demon has bent hands he's summary responsive Dana was in this morning and I saw him and wondering whether we could lighten him up a bit I said for the safety of the patients and for himself it's too risky we thought we might risk [Music] [Music] giving him medicine on a diffuser did you speak to him yesterday no man I was playing he had the world as eyebrows at us a couple times yeah yeah this morning clear economic sense but nervous about it strange where he looks better to me than he did when I came in I guess it was not Saturday [Applause] looks like a Renaissance painting it looks like a Renaissance painting yeah video work I'm gonna go home now I'm gonna leave you in God's good care and when it's time to go you'll go and be with him my friend I just pray that the angels will will line the path as you journey from Earth to heaven oh god I just pray now that you may be with eita very close to her surround her with your presence and your love may she feel that and her very being and her spirit may she feels safe as she leaves this earth and goes to be with you and your kingdom of love and peace and joy forever God we thank you for this person and for what she has meant to us as we've journeyed with her over these months just bless her now God and help her to let go into your arms of love and into your presence for evermore we ask this in Jesus name Amen goodnight my friend [Music] hi George hi it's de Nicola Rick's condition took a turn for the worst last night and he's been kind of getting steadily worse today he hasn't really been responsive but his breathing is very labored yeah so it seems like he's probably not going to be with us too much longer is there a chance that you would come tomorrow that's right no it wouldn't be a good idea so if that if that snowstorm does come I would agree with you that there's no one no point risking [Music] [Music] [Music] all together [Music] we check god bless you you've suffered yes he has that was quite the struggle Rick yeah put you bad at the end though yeah yeah whoever peacefully or did but you did struggle but now you're free of pain [Applause] you know they were down the hall but I mean you just stop it that's that's all I know yeah they're right here right now it's okay yeah I'll just use my stethoscope that's good there we are all right you're Steve uh nice right you know things have been much this much for the last couple of days I just wonder do you have any questions sir I don't have any questions I understand that she's failing yeah rather quickly yeah she looks comfortable the noisy breathing and telling it's not Josh yeah it's not really bothering her it probably sounds worse to to people around her she looks comfortable right now she doesn't look like she's in pain it's a little bit less restless then she looked yesterday or the day before so so that's that's good but I think we're just going to continue along with what we're doing from there but share together in the 23rd psalm again okay the Lord is my shepherd I shall not want he maketh me to lie down in green pastures he leadeth me beside the still waters he restoreth my soul he leadeth me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death I will fear no evil for thou art with me thy rod and thy staff they comfort me they'll prepare us the table before me in the presence of mine enemies thou anointest my head with oil my cup runneth over surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life and I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever it's okay okay boy it's okay baby just go home with God God you better place it isn't it much better place don't disaggregation but that's you it's okay then I'm gone Aryan I'm yes no more suffering no more pain [Applause] Oh baby my is he went so peaceful he did remember when I said no papers all over your mansion no pack riding up there [Music] I feel this wants to be pretty should be here too early I think I don't know she didn't come I know we're not gods I know okay [Music] [Music] you you

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Length: 80min 2sec (4802 seconds)

Published: Mon Dec 02 2019