The Closer She Gets - Feature documentary

we've got remnants afloat and I hear a special music thank you thank you very much well I'm not gonna sing my own happy birthday song birthday dear Jane I have two birthdays August 22nd 2000 I'll just say that I picked up my video camera when my mom got a brain tumor I brought it everywhere I went recording everything I saw I thought my mom would appreciate it after all of her trials to see how far down she went and how bad she got before she won her battle with cancer I thought I knew where this would go before he even got started as it turned out I had no idea what this was like no idea the Dallas Cowboys are playing the San Fran I think of these poor football players and all they do out there every at least once a week banging themselves up in jeopardizing their neurological health and other health and I'm thinking hmm really worth it as you can just be going on a vacation in Colorado and oh yes thank you forget you my god Wow so I've got some sons visiting today huh one isn't the movie and this job how do we know this Oh Momo the other ones in the game industry what kind of clue can you give Michael that you're in the game industry now game industry movements well Craig it must be you and the movie industry that's so proud of my voice these days not even one of these days right now I've got it on boys your life and miles measure inches okay I'm patient and impetuous - although I'm impetuous so that doesn't fit with patient oh yeah you're both your contradiction yeah yeah yeah I kind of always been that way a little bit but do you know what I think it makes people interesting as long as you don't show too many people off this this machine I increase the complexity of it anyway we are again yeah yes you're stuck with me for a while maybe just your mind sending a different message saying that just like you're slower on the left side to communicate the move you've got a 14-4 modem on one side and a 56k modem on the other so that's cable modem on the one side side switch I really am pretty much it it's sort of an everyday cutting yeah you know I just do things in a kind of ordinary way I've never liked to rock to anybody's bolder including my own here I am rocking a boat can you believe that it's always easier when you know the answer yes I said a prayer to God and Bonnie this like I just said you know sometimes the answers are very style yeah that wasn't fun I do believe in prayer though really is amazing stuff and so many people are but I said we went and got it out I said I do not what I was kept an eye on support systems definitely yeah you know it shows its Oh I just hate open every time they go in there this greater risk of future you know something like that and I just don't I just I don't know it's a tiny swimming pool you know if they really need to treat it or know of it but I don't want to go I don't like that you're going into surgery that way because I think and yet going constantly and if that comes back a certain way then they would do destroy that maybe a nice pain washcloth with hot water one's gonna be the trick I don't want to get water underneath the bandage that daddy's becoming the hair stamps hair professional just some kind of way I could be I could maintain everything that might be including brain sewage of course that would have been the bottom they would hit your head on your side so I suppose it could have dribbled around the back hey you know yeah that's that's betadine that's just an antiseptic because I had to hair washing since then correct yeah I think you did this is this Oh how long that's up I'm ready for Thanksgiving feast either who are you pray it's over there what are you talking to you no thanks I'm doing my puzzle in your crossword puzzle always grateful that I knew the bullets sure we were fortunate I was fortunate to find my husband and marry into this family to the Willetts family and marrying all that meat there's just be hard-put to beat the two of them I love them both so much I wish she spent her last days and hours of at home on your weed Elena in Dallas oh she was so afraid she's in heaven with the Angels and God right now you can count on that always hipster nothing to be afraid of grandma's there yeah you knew anybody will be in heaven it's grim I will let you get your adderall nothing waste more energy than worrying water or curiously problem kids can answer questions match each other's sound test asked me to please hold it down okay the date is November 27th mm-hmm I knew I was here right mmm-hmm there you go you probably get dance to them same I do that every goddamn time I don't curse God's name you've got to watch me as a mom can't keep a tunity ward so it goes mija I'm toast that's alright she tries right yeah she tries it is what she wants to do is just on the crapper no you're gonna pick up the pick up that dog like chin up are you guys ready are you ready oh this is wonderful this set I do I have all along it's just a whole concept of the cancer hitting me I just never thought about such a thing for some reason they did say one thing about this brain tumor it does not generally ever straight from the brain to another part of the body which is helpful but they because they know the definitive diagnosis they note that radiation a certain method of radiation and a certain regimen of chemotherapy is quite effective in treating it so I between that and my faith in God I do have hope I surely do ain't gonna be easy yeah I wish it were easier than it is all this therapy but I need the exercise anyway right all right so here's what we're gonna do let's try focusing on the left hand doing the pushing rights doing the pushing in the left hand is what we want to be done needs to do all that so what you want to do is the left hand supposed to help guide that this one we want doesn't to be doing some work here yeah yeah for wrist need this much stronger out there alright now one thing we are doing here losing lots and lots of shoulder but but really fast would you it would be how luckily did this Liz there's something and we hold that wrist a you just do a long a I'm gonna do it on the wrist if you do that yeah well you guys take this top you're gonna get it up not that all the way up just just right here what he's got so much to give should I do this well confrontation in the Southwestern Bell to the International memo from the National Cancer Center where acting commissioner of the FDA it states that you shouldn't read that kind of stuff I mean it's just the opposite of what we're having done I know that's why you shouldn't read this kind of stuff I'm not going evil people seem to think that this is going to be helpful it's not it's not it's too confusing yeah it does you know if it isn't exactly what you have then it sends the wrong message because it's the opposite of what I'm having done yeah it's different well it says you don't need chemo you don't need radiation I know but that's because he's promoting this antioxidant approach and that may work for some people but I'm not there yet but it isn't it isn't scientifically proven you're getting the best absolutely of the proven approach exactly I mean these are all pigs in a poke you nice not to have to think of having chemo though I gotta tell you but I don't want to start anything new now we are on a roll well that's one of those things that has shown up I don't want to be perceived as pushy like that Michael was sitting on the floor and his little eyes at around 4 years of age 3 to 4 caucus this doodle Sunday coming in the window and he followed it up his little head went up and he followed all the way down to the floor and it was just the most darling thing and I thought oh I'm gonna write a little little song or something anyway have you seen that eyes of a child have you seen the wonderment there and she looks up into the sky as he looks up into the air it's the beauty of love love it's the one it's the beauty of wonderment o children in their work just their beauty just to be able to watch them see the most normal things and make it wonderful well that was the 2-night connected with it but I knew I always knew it would never be ahead I always liked the time period we lived in it was a great time just for time but now I was all there's an environmental junk it makes you wonder if it was such a good time because we didn't know the harm that was out there a man that my brother went to high school with we were all somewhat contemporaries he was just a few years older than I he had brain tumor and we got to thinking we were downstream from time speech is their connection while they used ice dioxin in to treat the rocky gravel roads up there I don't know what it did exactly but they felt it was safe during that time period they found out much later it was very harmful they actually bought out the town of times beach was purchased by I believe the government and then of course we swam in the river Jeremy I'm not hiring for degree summer so who knows who knows we couldn't even imagine there was a thought that came to mind it's not so far gone perhaps I'm tired around I'm gonna lay down here if you don't think I just folks I don't wanna from Jones hmm may the season be all you wish it to be happy holiday in the PICU this is for Jane they don't even include me he had cancer 95 95 they gave him three months to live and he's still going strong I don't want any doctor to give me a time frame I want no time frame nuts whatsoever nobody she doesn't say cancer yeah I know it's cancer well you know more than what she said well it was his cancer and I don't think any person should put a time on somebody's life like that what's the point oh my god the answer to that because my feeling is what's at the other end of this line death I can deal with death it's just dead that's so frightening about that trying to take me out of here though huh try to be the winner but not make you feel - too bad - I'm gonna make it we think you'll add a couple more alright let's do a few more okay oh thank you Michael thank you thank you listen we I I hope I don't discourage you too bad babe I made into quick no no that's okay we got pretty close to what we wanted to do I think we did very well really yeah yeah we want to work on the leg again tomorrow yes a little stronger yeah we'll do the leg and and whatever else she thinks business all right don't work on the order and everything we know that a positive outlet house generally speaking there we come I like this cameraman here hope you don't get on my my little wrinkles mm-hmm yeah thanks wrinkles wrinkles are nothing wrinkles me and that thing we just hope that all of these everything comes together that came out therapy all the physical therapy occupational therapy that speech therapy so we will be this sound as it over by next year yeah cool down medicines working can't do that you need those you need everything you got oh yeah yeah yeah week we'd out of them how fast is that more being work they did some tests and ran another MRI and dang things still growing and it's moving into new areas well they don't know why it's not responding to the chemicals unfortunately it's just not your normal lump that you can take out their only option right now there's doesn't look like there's gonna be anyway she's going home again in a couple of weeks there may be some serious decisions to make Oh but get me out of this mess I wish I could just gotta rest let the medicine work that's the way we're going to get out of this mess and so let the medicine work and then on top of that I went and blew a disc and and not from doing anything spectacular just decided it was time to go well this time in the next I I have had surgery and now wearing a collar for the next well I've worn it for about a month and I got another month to go school Mazel Tov yeah Julie Samantha there's some apple for you when your mouth taking in so you can chew it he might be there you go do it up yeah there you go you are sitting up in the chair you are sitting in a chair right now you're not in bed where you gonna go you can't walk you wanna what you want to brush your teeth okay if you did that it's a softer brush so you don't hurt yourself yesterday five sleep on me put the toothbrush in your mouth do your teeth feel better what are you doing dead what am i doing I'm doing what's necessary trying to make frame the right size for the wedding certificate that'll work Ed McMahon what's the date 26 why is the 22nd I don't know this is all dad's writing but that not sure what he did there we may actually have missed our anniversary today well happy anniversary maybe you have a lot of company your mom's here and your sisters okay there's mom ya see every time you turn around there's somebody else here granny was glad because she she if I was surprised she didn't know who we were and that mom was real happy about that and she wanted this this you know anniversary thing she was so looking forward to it dad was looking forward to yeah sounds like looks like we might have a chance to Herbie Emily's gland after you to participate in yeah you got your all ready we'll get you all set up mom you're looking great you're all together get your dress on you're looking good you're all together might not feel it but you are yeah we got you together sure leave huh we're here look at that go downstairs and live Chapel and you can come up and relax tomorrow just just relatives yeah you got that and Rob and Elizabeth and their kids and Bob and Jerry hey brother Bob and Jerry and Hakeem Devon so not a lot of people just a few all good friends and family and I'll be say we love you we're going down to the camper down to the chapel okay gonna get married everybody everybody's serving you you're the you're the guest of honor so you just have to sit back and we will actually enjoy and say I do with the right back they you can do that can't you all right friends got his love and those who abide in love abide in God and God abides in them we gathered today in the presence of God to give thanks for the gift of marriage and to reaffirm the gift of marriage for Bob and Jane as I thought about the two of you today a lion came to me from a book that's from Charles Dickens book of Tale of Two Cities the opening line states that it is the best of times and the worst of times in the tale of two lives that of Bob and Jane will let this might also be said but this is a time when Jane is struggling with illness and Bob is recovering from surgery this is a time in which life is difficult however it is also a time when we can see in the two of you the central truth that Paul was saying to the church at Corinth love bears all things believes all things hopes all things and endures all things I ask you why do you take Jane to again to be your wife and do you promise before God in these witnesses that you will be her loving and faithful husband in plenty and want in joy and in sorrow in sickness and in health as long as you both shall live if so answer I do and do you Jane take Bob to be your husband again and promise before God in these witnesses that you will be his loving and faithful wife in plenty and want in joy and in sorrow in sickness and in health as long as you both shall live if so answer I do I do you may kiss your bride again you don't all have to teach your distance you're not gonna melt feel like like my rather hey you're gonna keep fighting aren't you is there any animators and then the other way but doctor said that you become down here you got to get back to the room so that they can watch you so we're gonna have to postpone the motel trip some some time before too long we'll be able to do that we can we can we can stop on the way up to Colorado to our the melody lane hotel how about that that'll be pretty good good shake and still improving tire these little roll because you're right so much rather just to your stay better and not trying toward worse and how man that was exhausting and painful I guess in some ways it made his face some grim possibilities which probably doesn't hurt to be at least prepared for you know we will work - for not to have infinity so move it move it I hope and pray in there and we'll see what we got sure I sure will what about Mike well why should he get congratulations oh I love you in your special what am I getting congratulations I I want to get out of this thing honey let me get out of this let me figure that out patro is this it to a chain and putz the name of this hotel okay it'll be okay okay how you feeling right now yeah I'm still frightening about this whole affair it's very strange well it's a scary process but doctor well I understanding the parts of it other parts I don't understand yeah that was not scary that is right it's scary one of those pictures on my bed I look like death warmed over sheesh I think they're looking pretty good mom thank you try being a hot naked girl shine she she's improves so much and doing so well they just and she wants to go home so I says that seems so logical thing to do before the unless you think chemicals don't start doing something this is is this is MIT this may be as good as it gets and he says what she's got is a terminal disease so sometime along there if the chemicals don't work she's gonna get worse and go back to the way she was because if there's no answer then I can just pray to God who knows I prayed to him for months now good thing I had prayer in your heart that way you felt a lot better about things hey mom you gotta finish eating what's in your mouth before you even why right so put down your fork here for a second for me go ahead and chew and swallow know for sure go ahead and chew and swallow what's in there already no no stop I know there's little stickers you put those on before you used it no they came with those mom well you also have to swallow what's in your mouth swallow what's in your mouth before you pick up any more food hold my hand hold my hair alright so hope I can get back to normal and can eat and do right things you swallow what's in your mouth mom yeah just a minute you gotta swallow what's in your mouth okay I'm going to swallow it before you eat any more food you're not supposed to just store it up in your chipmunk pouches that's it yeah I know is that the doctor said don't store the food I like my younger baby that's right you see I tell you he don't listen anyway if you don't like look apart i got a fork I don't know how to make you stop you won't stop stop eating in front of my body well you have to swallow what's in your mouth out there you can get to the fork is that your distraction technique come operate haven't put me in it and st. that's I'm not gonna put anything else out why would we want to do that mom that's it that's what they're talking about no and they're talking about extended care is what they're talking about which is just a place where somebody can take care of you all the time which is something that we have to find out whether we can do here I have never this I've had more than enough of this I think you should start feeling better that's what I think I have an answer anytime wouldn't be perfect again right choice daddy I got a call into you still got the bad headache yes a bad one just a bad man you're sick I'm sick yes very well that's that's one of the one of the seven one of the symptoms that we're supposed to call me miss you've got those kinds of situations so you need these pills within your condition you're not going to be able to swallow anything could you just put them back up Randy yeah so we got to figure out another way to get these pills in you and that may require professional help you've been trying to get that for weeks okay help what help moving so I'm not so uncomfortable I don't know how to move okay honey that's cold I knew it mom if you don't straighten your leg I can't straighten but what do you want to do I want this place to be straight well here if you want them to be straight let me straighten the only way we're gonna solve this which means we need to take her in Oh Bob yeah we're gonna have to go back to the here we go you grab a hold of me Oh daddy I yeah I got it I got it yeah mrs. Grayson right here yes can you help me mom please Thank You Eddie come on baby come on I know you can you don't let me get my hand underneath John come with me on the stand with your right your waist is so tiny get your get your foot here I'm not feeling really good and that hurts my neck laughing well I have to get you something for that you gotta eat because because we can't we can't take care of you at home if you don't eat I don't want to have to put you in the hospital or something like that because you won't eat what do you got there mom yeah yeah she just blank for 10 seconds or so and and then she'd start off again as if the 10 seconds didn't exist that's when she was over your seizures yeah that's that's a sign of a seizure it's that little blank out when she might have been doing that for years weirdest yeah could have been could have been for years and you know as a sign that there was something going on there that I just hadn't effect any of the vital functions and therefore we just didn't just brushed it off that's why I'm a little bit concerned about the steering is is is she's starting to have little those little gaps again she's definitely focused in on something off to the right that is may or may not be something we can see okay I love you I love you too mom I don't know baby it's just been a very bad day we were hoping you were feeling better today well I wish I could I feel better today honey why I'm strong thank you for your sympathetic they're coming they're coming I want you to talk to your father and tell them this she's I can make it if you really shouldn't help I want something under my body honey if you have something you need to go to the bathroom again yes you do I do you definitely need to go to the bathroom yeah you're not just forgetting that you want right I don't think so Craig I need to go potty again please I need to potty again we're getting something for you we're getting someone for you I'm warming yes a woman is coming down okay yes that's good I need a pot if we know love someone's coming okay I need somebody to help me but yeah she needs to go to the bathroom again I need a potty underneath I'm sure they're coming they're coming as fast as they can okay I like those jeans if those delays yep these are the new jeans I got at Christmas I have got PP coming on right now all right we need a bedpan pretty quick I guess Oh where'd God put me well I'm gonna keep you right here give me that right now can you give that to me this very moment Oh help me help me help me Mom you still you still need to go to the bathroom I don't know that I do yeah I felt like I had a bunch coming out you did some in that pan there yeah okay okay okay we gotcha gotcha and he said that if we do find some miracle what we have is probably as good as it's going to get that the damage is permanent which basically means that this isn't what she was oh there you go you got it you got it you know who I am that's great Wow yeah I talked to dr. Strauss he says that the cancer is resisting everything they've tried everything and it's just resisting everything so we're gonna have to ask mom and dad to come get you and help you have you talked to mom and dad lately they're waiting for you they're gonna help aren't they they're gonna help you've wanted to talk to mom and dad for a long time and here's the time it's time to talk to mom and dad they let me baby can't be as good as home but it will try to make it as homey as we can't hunt and we'll be here every day yeah every day there's a sequel last night mom okay what do you need mom more people here now my mom when I first saw your mom I thought that even though I was talking to you on the phone every day about what was going on with her but there's a way when you're away from something of believe me that it's not true even though you know it is true and it was hard not to cry but she's still laying right there and so you don't want to cry in front of her and have her feel like you've given up on it some some part of me still has hope and I you know thank you praying but then another part looks at how sick she is and says it would be a real big miracle if she were there God would heal her it says this little chair is a reminder that every day through the good and through the bad God is always sitting beside you loving you ready to give you support so put this chair beside you and I hope you'll feel God's loving presence he's always there when we make room for him thinking of you with lots of love Kadri that's a nice card yeah it was a nice car I tell ya oh yeah you're doing good today we got lots more time lots more time together yeah Craig always nice to qualified that I am his favorite girl under 40 because we know who his favorite girl over 40 is you know what you might even be his favorite girl period and that is just fine with me because you're really lovable and I could see why you would be his number one girl what are you thinking and everything home like it's pretty pretty sad and depressing actually in this part not a place right just inspires hope excitement at all for sure I will always associate this hallway with the awful stench of urine so you get halfway down the hall to like the end of the hall it's just like awful you're inside just gonna hold your breath but you can't hold them long enough you look like you see things are you seeing things that are frightening you needn't be afraid Bart is close by I promise she was indicating that she was seeing things that we weren't seeing and seeing people that we that we weren't seeing angels floating around and not knowing where she was and not being in control and kind of like she was caught in this dream world since she had such a an affection for my mom and dad and keep trying to tell her to look for look for mom and dad because they'll help they'll help help her on this journey you're free you're free hard to catch in between yeah yeah I think you're right if she's uh if she's awake could be any day it could be any week in between yeah take what we wanted unfortunately look but what happens okay dear lord please hear our prayer Craig and Jane and I are all in agreement that with your guidance and help James brain can be healed and you'll shrink the tumor and help her brain grow back so healthy and help her regain everything lord please help would be without pain did you reach keeper huh reaching for the sky reaching for the stars that you think changing looks better she's got more roses in her cheeks Jane this is mom and you know my boy says this is mom like you don't know who mom is I don't know she dish by the facial expressions that maybe she yeah she does mom she yes yes hello Jane hi you yes you think you're their father bye-bye-bye change the by 3d we know that you love us yeah to me you've got that engine let's see your eyes moving you're blinking that eyeball yeah you gonna blink the other one just gonna blink the left we have started to write to both so many times would have had trouble sitting down and putting our thoughts on paper like everyone else we still can't believe what has happened with Jane's illness since last year we still think of Jane just like the last time we saw her in southern County happy full of life and excitement Jamie want you to know how much we love you and miss talking to you you have the best voice always bubbly and cute Jane said several times on the phone that you always move that you were special but she felt so fortunate to learn the depth of your love and caring everyone in the world that's lucky we of course will contrive for a miracle every day ready for a miracle mom one breath that means yes Wow my jingle bells tinkle fast II know all the way to ride in a one-horse open sleigh hey you need to wait you're sleeping he knows when you're awake he knows if you've been bad or good so be good for goodness sake don't you like that or that they didn't hear us you're doing already so for me you'll never live that may be the last time I see her but I don't feel like it is nothing you went to hell no I know the hell done yeah well do she's gonna open up her eyes boys come on come on why don't we get a miracle well a [ __ ] miracle stupid okay okay thank you very much mom passed away now I'm kicking myself about [ __ ] hands for not going down there tonight yeah yeah but I had a feeling yeah get it home hospice passed away this evening yeah turn eight I've been there yeah that's really good phone calls no warning yeah hello since rolling in their sleep just can't do anything about it anyway there I am being practical you know sometimes the practical place you got to go that place hurts a little too much at that moment so you think we can handle this by ourselves I think so I think we got each other let me too much wow she's in a better place unfortunately our place just got worse Wow it's missing something everything is set for the reception tomorrow they did have one question that probably sounds silly but they want to know if you want to have iced tea and punch and coffee or just punch and coffee or just punch an ice tea doesn't matter to you not really I don't think you're gonna have many coffee drinkers give me the definition of Jane will let in three sentences are left why would you say you know I I could tell you little stories where she [ __ ] my here and there but she was just amazing I can't I can't you know I was never asked for anyone else she was the greatest gifts I was ever given I got started out of life with with a huge huge advantage right from the start she cared about others we just did everything together we had somebody put him said I know that if you go from this place there is one thing that Jane would have to remember that God made this world beautiful all things and that he made not that we could share it with one another that her love no it's not no it's not water lying that way but in the pan I can we don't verdict it gives your goodness yeah bless your soul well McCain Kirby we're lat yeah we're gonna be thick of you all the time love you got a naked speech she's making that okay love you mom or deceive me again yeah I was gonna crash on June 8 assuming the cosmic yeah it ain't even a blip I think yeah yeah man they've been here a few seconds this what's all from over be able to go any place in Colorado without knowing that you're watching this that you're here with us you

Channel: CraigOfilm

Views: 1,106,247

Keywords: Documentary, cancer, love, family, dallas, angel jane, Texas, Houston, dying, death, cancer survivor

Id: LUKlXDGq3QI

Length: 88min 44sec (5324 seconds)

Published: Thu Aug 22 2013