Dunkey Streams Elden Ring (Day 4)

ain't no battle no i didn't find the elden ring yet still looking i think i'm gonna need a little more no more healthy hey everybody he saw whiplash classic whiplash classic thank you justin now last time i was playing elden ring let me catch you guys up on the storyline last time we were going around killing every guy in one hit and then we fought the big horsey guy and i beat him on the first try if i remember correctly only took one try why didn't you just buy the elden ring from santa and lim grave are you serious you could just buy it you [ __ ] kidding me i've been playing this for nothing you could just buy it all right this is a hell zone i'm entering actually before i go into this zone i should do this this is a hill zone i need to get my moving power in let's get the moving power wait it's hardy huh oh all right thank you bossiest kid happy happy april 15th everybody this is a big day this is a big day did you guys know that on april 15th they installed the first telephone it's actually good friday this is the first good friday that was ever recorded why did they call it good friday because the easter oh is that when jesus went out the tomb this is when jesus went out to tomb everybody give me this to celebrate that i'm going in the tune who the [ __ ] just hit me for my whole thing you ass you [ __ ] ass give me this now i gotta go back because i have this [ __ ] at me that will kill thank you peter parker thank you so much alright for this zone you want to make sure to never engage this is a classic strategy but especially this zone do not engage do not engage anyone this is an especially do not engage zone oops oh okay now look at this again look at this guy do not engage oh he's shooting at somebody else oh this guy's shooting at me though okay okay here we go here we go oh god oh god oh [ __ ] oh god all right let's get the [ __ ] out of here do not engage oh [ __ ] wait wait wait wait wait wait wait god damn it you guys see what i'm saying actually on this character though maybe i can engage maybe when i get this move on maybe actually i can kill let's try out let's try a new strategy of doing gage whoa god damn it i hate these ghosts good all right here i go here i go yeah yeah that did nothing this guy is invincible why is he invincible what what is that damage no no no no no no what is that damage what the [ __ ] is this this is not right let's go back to let's go yeah let's go back to do not engage actually these guys are cheating okay let's get the [ __ ] out of here this is hell this is hell give me that flower i'm out of here i'm going through the window goblin goblin gap oh god oh this is the wrong way this is the wrong way there's a lever for the lever i hate this zone i hate this zone all right all right how do you get the big beaver in this game i don't know i don't know that all right we're bringing out man circle oh [ __ ] this thing again no not this again it's too early in the morning for this not this again my man serpent isn't even killing do your lava kill oh man serpent do your lava kill boom why did that do nothing drink the drink the drink drink the drink you can't see [ __ ] i cannot see [ __ ] in here okay okay that's bad that's bad to have oh god hold still you ass no don't do that don't do that don't do that i got this under control just gotta hit them one of these hit on one of these okay i'm a lot of health potions this is looking bad i cannot see very good wait a minute he's stunned he's stunned that's it that's it [ __ ] it's still going oh no oh no okay he's out of there he's out of there i hate it i hate that guy all right we need to go get the cape where's the funny cape the sages cave we gotta go to the sages cave all right where's old sages cave thank you billy webb you're playing sakura how do you beat the big monkey you hit him with the fire stick set the monkey on fire with the fire stick that's a good tip thank you train all right where is sage's cave i gotta find the sages cave it's somewhere over here say this cave is over in this zone hmm how do we get up there this is grimble's hut yeah we gotta go to santa's cave is that the one that's over here get the funny mask from volcano where's the funny mask i don't think i know where that is am i going the right way i'm going the wrong way out thank you jordan and inverted thank you terpsies this is where it is we gotta find the sages cave i think the sages cave is somewhere in this zone did i fight this guy already nope i see him over there in this little boat all right let's fight boat man this is an easy battle [ __ ] man doesn't have a lot of power hey where'd he go catch your boat man boat man you are out of here oh no no no don't you summon a big skeleton don't you summon a big skeleton he's going for his boat attack oh my god oh my god a devastating blow all right he's almost dead all right almost dead all right boat man's out of here i guess all these skeletons are just gonna stay here though take his boat no no no no no i'm not that [ __ ] up to actually take his boat take a man's life and his boat come on to take his boat on top of that that's going too far that's just going way too far it's just here it is is this it sage's cave here it is right no this isn't right whatever i'll just do this oh big no-no vibes you're getting big no-no vibes from this okay i guess you don't go down there yeah actually now that i'm thinking about this i'm thinking that i hate this place i'm thinking that uh maybe i don't want to go in here now that i hear somebody say big no no vibes thank you video game leo oh where are you yeah i do not like these guys throwing electricity at me every three seconds what the hell was that what is that what is this thing doing i'm getting big no no vabs from there this guy i hate this i hate this guy i hate this guy wow oh oh i'm doing big damage on him yeah whoa he's out of there do i have 90 000 runes where did i get 90 000 from okay i really have to not die i really don't want to lose 90 000. that is a chunk of change oh god oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ] oh god damn it okay okay i'm not losing the 90 not losing the 90. that's way too much what is this you guys is this good or bad what kind of vibes are you guys getting from this particular zone are you getting no no vibes or yes yes vibes super good super good really good vibes okay people are saying really good stuff is in here let me see how many keys i even have i have one key am i gonna use my one key on this am i really gonna use my one key on this is it really gonna be worth the one key or is it gonna be some dumbass [ __ ] is it gonna be complete [ __ ] [ __ ] when i open this that is complete [ __ ] [ __ ] i don't want that that is worthless to me i will never equip this i have never equipped this this is the shittiest thing that i've ever seen lightning scorpion charm i don't use that i don't use anything with lightning this is one of the biggest scams oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ] my money my money oh no oh no no hey he did all right all right i can get the money back i can get the money back don't worry i can get the money back what kind of flask do i have right now boost faith no does does frost count as magic all right i guess i'll just do that equip a branch equip a branch where does the branch go doesn't it take one of your talisman slots oh kirby is hidden in this game where i did see there was a zone called kirby's cave but he wasn't in there shitty goblins shitty goblins do not make me lose 90 000 points you shitty goblins what is the deal with this guy what what is this guy is an ass this guy is an ass all right let's kill it's time to kill come on hit me hit me i'm not over there thank you mighty jake oh goblin oh no i missed all right get me in there get me in there no no no all right goblin down goblin down money retrieved now there's a dumbass little goblin right here i see him do not kill me do not kill me okay you're out of there you are out of there now this guy i'm killing this guy he's out of there yeah boom boom all right let's go let's go thank you albino get me out of this tomb this guy is an ass he's invincible there might be something under the spike platform i'm not going under that whatever's under that can stay there i'm not going under that unless it makes me do 10 times more damage i'm not going over there all right let's go eat let's go eat souls yeah i'm gonna need a little more health i think yeah just just just a barely just a little more i want the health bar to go all the way to the right side of the screen so i can take two heads get in there lizard man this is between you and him these are rivals i'll go in this lava go on this lava yeah yeah burn them yeah oh look at that damage wow wow oh my god oh my god yeah wow oh my god it wasn't even fair roll credits roll the credits this game is over wait wait wait i need to go and get a thing now i need this i still gotta find this zone let's go find this song where's the sages cave that's very important that we find that where's old sages keep it am i going to become elden gourd i'm still trying to decide i don't know if i'll become elden gore down this play through i swear the thing is right in this zone somewhere it's gotta be sage's cave wait a minute i think i'm remembering where sage's cave is i think i'm remembering that it's in the most ass zone ever and i hate it so much i think it's over by this zone i think the sages zone is my least favorite zone in the whole world is this sage's cave over here i hate this yeah i'm getting big no no vibes from this cave this whole cave is just hell where is it there did i pass it up somewhere over here somewhere somewhere definitely in this zone somewhere maybe it's further up whoa hello whoa he's done he is done i need you guys to stop hitting stop that give me this power you guys don't know how to beat eldon ring somewhere over in this zone somewhere oh look at this look at this here's a treasure oh i love this i love to get that talisman that's very important that you get that actually that makes your perfumes a lot powerful a lot more powerful although i still haven't bought the crafting item yet it's better if you buy the crafting item because then you can craft god damn it are you serious are you serious with this where's the key i think this guy sells keys over here somewhere i think there's a guy over here that sells him i just had to open that door and get the lightning scorpion does this guy have one there you go boom all right for this game you have to memorize every you have to memorize what what every single story keeper has is in this inventory i need two i need two no no i don't need two i don't need two i don't need two no i don't need to i don't need to i only need one this is like when you guys said i need the crank what a scam that was oh look at this guy oh it's still gay give me your power sacred order this one requires two no no no no no no this one only requires one i know i know every i know what every door is i know all the requirements for each door this is a one door okay we need to does this guy have one i just bought his last one oh man i hate that i hate that where do i get another one guys south there's a guy south they sell them at the round table i'll just go there that guy's dead here we go all right we're back in business what is this that she had there crafting kit oh yeah i don't want that all right let's go back to the coffins you need three keys no no there's not such a thing as a three key door you guys think i don't know eldon ring you actually need three no yeah no yeah good try guys no you only need two please only need to okay thank god this isn't even the right zone what the [ __ ] is the unsightly catacombs i got scammed this isn't even sage's cave this is fucker's cave look at this guy what an ass look at this guy what it is get my lantern don't don't you don't you don't i got scammed i fell for one of the biggest scams there is oh sage's cave is near the south border of atlas plateau look a flower no scams right big scam thank you these butch why do you want sage's cave as a knight that's one of the greatest questions of elden ring i remembered from uh from my very good memory that the raptor cape is in sages cave it just came to me in a vision that that cape was there oh remember the memory of chaos oh yeah oh yeah that's right i have to kill chaos and i have to kill madness let's go down this zone oh look at all these hundreds of people this is good let's let's kill this guy i am not chaos no no i'm not chaos no no no no that's not me i have to kill chaos it's all that drives me oh i just got a good item i just got a good item this is gonna change my build around let's try this that's gonna that's gonna change that's gonna change how i play this game all right it's time to kill let's turn on my powers oh two guys okay [ __ ] this come on lizzy get him hit him lizard hit him kill him whoa oh he's already dead oh my god he's already dead oh my god he has no power oh my god that guy's done all right man come on ryan come and face me oh don't hit the snake don't hit the snake oh oh my god he's already dead oh my god he's already out of there oh my god he's done don't ever try to face me an elden ring all right this was a complete scam though i can't believe that cost two swords to go in there that was one of the biggest scams of all time all right i'm still looking for sages cave it's to the south of the plateau i think it's over isn't it this is something over here isn't this i swear there's something over here this is it right yeah this is it now this cave i hate this cave i hate this cave before i even go in this cave i'm going to power up my lizard man let's go get the lizard man more power why does my armor suck so bad i can't put any other funny armor oh maybe i can put some funnier stuff in there let's see what do i got what do i got to be funny this is funny oh yeah that [ __ ] with you though let's see this is kind of funny maybe put that on i like this skull helmet but that's too heavy let's see what other funny stuff do i get that's too heavy hmm i could put on this funny robe hmm this thing is pretty good actually there's a lot of physical damage negation and super light what kind of gloves do we get let's get some better gloves let's get that gloves now these pants are all wrong dang i can't even get any good pants on though i can put on my fancy shoes all right this is good greetings are you here for spirit power up my snake yeah i don't think i've gotten a single rock i think the whole last time i played i don't think i got a single rock wait i did get a single rock i just got more power i just got more power and let's go ahead and let's say this now i don't want to eat redone i'm going to hold off on eating we're down you always want to be you always want to save for don in case you just need to go and farm because your build is complete [ __ ] let's get one of these all right now let's go back to fucker's cave is cold better than bleed they're both really good if you really want to kill i would put bleed in frost i would find a weapon with bleed already on it and then put frost on that then you can really kill all right i'm going into fuckler's cave this is one of the worst caves sleep you can put sleep on a weapon what happens they just fall asleep in the middle of the fight i haven't done that yet i tried a couple different things i haven't tried sleep yet i might have to do that next time just put them to sleep okay i gotta quick open these before the skeletons wake up nope no no go back to sleep go back to sleep okay open all these do not revive do not revive quick get all the treasure no no no no no no no no get the treasure i think you need like a holy weapon to kill these guys for real but i'm just gonna do it like this this is funny now get me out of this get me out of this oh this guy this guy oh not this oh this guy not this oh god oh god oh god he can't be staggered okay i don't want that guy to revenge i think there's like another secret isn't there a secret here here it is let me prove it it's just i want the cake give me the cake okay there's a key all right keep going keep going it's just a cape that's not the cape oh god this guy's back oh [ __ ] oh god no do i even have to kill move yet let's see could i turn this on [ __ ] it [ __ ] these skeletons and these skeletons [ __ ] these skeletons he's still coming back he's still coming back anyway okay so that blade actually has to be the one to kill get up get up wake up get up you're out of there hit them when they're down and they die no matter what what that's how it works right that's how it works let's let's kill this guy for this guy let's kill this guy so hit him while he's down oh he's already gone that guy's gone all right now where is the raptors cape look out for the raptors cape i think this is it oh all right i just beat the game i just beat the game [ __ ] it's really heavy uh oh [ __ ] there we go boom all right now here's a little this is a little side guy this guy has no power whoa whoa oh no no no you have no power you have no power all right he's out of there now the next guy has too much power the next boss has too much power second i get in here i'm bringing the snake out snake kill kill snake kill i hate this guy find him snake no no snake kill sneak kill yeah yeah yeah yeah get him get him oh holy [ __ ] okay that went a lot better this time the snake is powerful the snake is very powerful that's what you guys have to realize all right i think it's time to go to funny city i think that's what time it is first we're gonna go up to funny zombie ladies world thank you maddie [Music] where do you get the snake from i forget where you get the snake flames how many times you completed this game million yeah i beat this time i beat this million times this guy is out of there come to brazil it's just like dark souls it doesn't sound good it's just like dark souls out there like in real life i don't know about that just like gary indiana chicago is like nick every territory should have like a you know how like they have a state bird every territory should have like a representative game for wisconsin our state game would be let me think it'll be like ropey or tamper boston is fall out huh ours is cheesy wisconsin's game is cheesy we really got a bad game on that one it is cheesy italy italy would be mario of course yup new york is def jam def jam vendetta fight for new york okay let me let me fix this i'm not having enough power like recently recently i'm not liking how little power i have la is gex la yeah it could be gekko it could be la newar because that's right in the name [Music] huh how did you pronounce it l.a noor all right i want revenge yeah yeah i miss i suck give me the power give me the power stand still yeah oh that's a big big hit that's a big big big hit boom that's a big hit boom that's a great big hit boom that's a big big hit oh my god boom and that's a big big hit oh my goodness thank you for the weapons i'll never use them right now i'm going back to fucko's castle that's a good weapon he drops the peeler the potato peeler let's go get a thing that i want let's go get a powerful thing i think it's over in this turn your enemies into french fries the potato peeler there it is all right all right is there any more all right now let's go and let's blow up this whole zone who's my favorite boss i think it's the snake if we're just going by coolness factor it's got to be the snake i love the snake song when the snake goes in the second part go bye [Music] you guys remember that [Music] thank you go gregory this game is so many good bosses though so many classic bosses they really did good on this one with the bosses snail classic snail battle that's one of the biggest battles fight the snail yeah margaret margaret is a classic and dragon man dragon man is classic i got so many classic ones in this one magma worm that guy's classic big plant is your favorite boss or you just fight the big plant in a cave yeah that's such a legendary fight when you fight that big plant dead bird that bird is a [ __ ] my whole last time playing this i just kept fighting the bird i just kept trying to get the death poker from the bird and he just one shot me every single time i think that that has completely soured me on death bird i hate him forever now because of that boat man boat man is funny there's still some bosses i haven't even fought yet there's like a there's like two crazy dragons that i still haven't even found i don't know how to get to them yeah i want to find the secret dragon there's like two super secret dragons i want to find oh oh no oh no get me out of this zone get me out of this zone get me out of this zone you idiots go to green hill zone this can he break this break this break that hey break this i don't think he's big enough break this he's not big enough how the hell how are we gonna lure someone all the way down here where's the big bear show me the big big bear is he down here wrong way i don't think i've ever even been to this little area i found a turtle you can ride this no you can't for alden ring 2 you should be able to you should be able to choose you should be able to choose between horse and turtle horse turtle and bear that is not a dog that's a goddamn turtle i know animals bear zebra cat i know animals come and get me you fool you fool you've given me smithing stone six now i have more powerful than now i have more power than ever before name 10 animals easy cat dog shrimp uh chicken monkey turtle um [Music] yeah that's all of them hamster yes thank you hamster bird duck crane uh that's it [Music] oh no you know what i'm thinking this thing is out phased i'm thinking this is out phased let's see what's better i get 480 what is that 490 490 or i can go cold cold is probably still better even though i have so much strength i'm pretty sure cold is still better i'm pretty sure i'm doing more damage just from the cold proc than i would be if i was using strength maybe if i can get strength up to like 60 or 70 it'll start getting better oh not this [ __ ] [ __ ] not this [ __ ] [ __ ] thing all right here we go with this here we go with this that killed the frame rate yeah this area actually lowers your frame rate it's a part of the game that this area actually lowers your frame rate to make it more challenging it's okay now leah says it's fixed now i have the ring of high frame rates go go go go god damn it i hate this if i beat this game a 100 times i would still never [ __ ] stop hating this zone i hate this go go just get me the [ __ ] of here oh okay good these guys are here too okay the best enemy the best enemy in the best zone it all makes sense oh yes how how cohesive go go go go go go now is this thing gonna kill me this is crazy you can kill skeletons by hitting them on the floor that's crazy now what's the trick to this guy what's the secret trick to not dying to this shitty thing where's the where's the where's the path oh no no no hit him yeah yeah [ __ ] you skeleton i gotta get that flower wait is that a third one okay give me this [ __ ] hey all right now this no use a great shield to block the [ __ ] you can't do that you can block those with the shield what you can block these with a shield no way no way in the world you can actually block these for the shield a lot of people are saying you can't i don't think they know about the trick maybe they just don't know so apparently you can block this with a shield how do you kill these things is what i want to know this is my most this is out of all the bosses in this game this is my most hated boss go go go go go go go go you can kill this one actually no go go go go damn it i did the dash and everything i need to spawn an extra one i don't want to do that you're saying i need this you're saying the problem is i don't have enough spawned in i need to actually spawn in more of them i don't want to do that thank you jojo do the bloodhound step through them oh i tried that trust me trust me i tried that i tried that game that doesn't work get this guy out of here [Applause] go go go go go go go go go go go go go whoa okay i won i hate this i hate this i hate this i hate this so much do i kill how do i kill these stupid things go go can you can you stop i thought you could stop here here thank you okay okay i'm going this way are you [ __ ] kidding me use a shackle do it [ __ ] it all right not a lot of strategies are working here apparently i need a mystic shackle summon big wheel how do i summon the third one how do i summon one that kills them how do i do that trick my pro strategy for these zones was to not ever go in here i think that's probably the best way to deal with this now where's the other one where's the other one i got this i got this i have this okay okay am i safe am i safe i'm safe i'm safe i should be safe here now what do i do what do i how do i win how do i win how do i win this let's get some more juice man drop down drop down okay okay i'm dropping down oh who the [ __ ] makes this piece of [ __ ] thing oh my god this is evil this game is evil oh this is evil this is truly evil this is so evil okay okay oh good these guys classic i love these whoever made this hates the world oh no this is this is a joker designed level this guy is saying no hidden path ahead okay thank you now i know that this i can see that there's nothing in here that's how you know that there's a million things in here to kill yep look at this guy oh there better be a really good treasure in here thank you and schmidt that better be like a really really good treasure thank you dr yellow treat what's the point of this do i hit him from up here oh i hate this i hate this song hey i don't think i have the shackle do i have it buy it from patches oh i haven't even found patches yet come on where's the other one there you go happy this happens i know all this i know all the tricks come on come on i got this place i got this place now yeah okay okay i got this am i supposed to go this way yeah yeah no go there better be a really good treasure in here this is the right way huh what is why am i back here wait what did i do is this right i gotta go up there i think this is how to win right this this better be the elden ring in here if this is anything less than the elden ring in this it wasn't worth it there's three elden rings in here honestly if there's anything less than three eldon rings wasn't worth it all right come on come on oh god okay okay i got this i got this get this guy scam that guy over there okay okay here we go here we go okay okay now we're back in business we're back in business i see where i had to go that last time i just have to sneak through that little door and then i get three element rings actually that's what's so great about this place yeah okay okay go this way not this guy i don't like him okay okay okay i got this thank you katanka how many realms does this game have oh it has several rooms go go okay i'm gonna win i can tell that i'm about to win i can tell that i'm about to win why does that do that time for death oh wait is that gonna kill it burn him burn them did it kill did i kill burn that thing it's not working it's not killing i bet you have to ride this i can't even no i guess you can't even get up there it's like shining a light out of the thing it's shining a stafford light leave it up leave it up all right i'll leave it up oh scout oh no this is a hell world i am dead i am dead so what did i do by putting that thing up did i win did i win is this where it is now they'll all die oh go go go i love the i would love to see you kill me so i gotta go past this game i don't even see a little cave for me to hide from this game i gotta drop down all right all right i don't think i ever went in this zone i think the extent to which i went in this zone i saw that the wheel guys were in this again and then i walked out oh oh oh [Music] i win oh my god oh my god i win i beat elden wings happy elden ring [Music] okay i bl didn't ring the [ __ ] is that come on skeleton come on now skeleton you do realize i've beaten elden ring skeleton let's go let's go skeleton you do you do know that i've beaten elden ring you do know that right and still you shoot scout you know what just for your skeleton i let you live just because i beat elden ring and i'm so happy there is going to be such a big treasure in here ten elden rings i'm thinking i'm thinking ten elden rings snake snake help help help me snake get up snake get him yeah yeah oh oh [ __ ] of course they put two of this of course they put two of this for the boss why not oh my god this is hell the hell continues they take no damage they take no damage yeah oh god what is that that is hell that is hell no no no don't do that no this isn't going good ah what did he just have a did he just make a magic little tail he just hit me with a tail this man just grew a tail to kill me all right uh it doesn't even look like frost damage does anything to these guys drink the juice no no no no don't kill don't kill oh god me away from these guys jesus christ what is with this this is a [ __ ] up tune this tomb is [ __ ] up no no i missed come on come on i see okay now this other guy is coming back to me snake what are you doing hit them snake okay okay okay okay okay boom boom why is he still alive why is he still alive okay you're out of there you're out of there just one guy oh god but he's an ass but it's an ass guy i got this i got this i might i might have this maybe i can't even hit i can't even get a shape hit it boom there we go that sucked only one connect no no no no no no oh i could have hit him there this is not going good this is not going good at all no oh i jumped over the tail oh come on no no no no [ __ ] guy hey this game is evil this game is so evil oh thank you so far so thank you how do i raise my killing oh what if i do this what if i say this just to be funny let's try this once i've never actually tried this let's summon the snake and then go hide oh no i'm too heavy you don't know you don't know go invisible go invisible it's not working it's not working let me let me okay i'm still too heavy what happened oh i didn't oh it was that thing that talisman was giving me extra endurance okay i'm dead all right that strat did not work at all that was one of the worst strategies actually get the mimic yeah i gotta say this game has like a hundred ghosts but only one of them actually doesn't i think this lizard is already out phased well that was a nice little hit he did oh he's almost dead now yeah i think lizardman is already out phased oh god no no no no come on get him oh you're laughing oh oh holy [ __ ] what was that oh let me live let me live these guys are impossible to stun oh my god he hit me in the air with the tail oh god oh god this is this is hell i'm already out of potions yeah i think lizardman is not cutting it here i think i'm gonna have to upgrade oh let's see what else can i do okay thank you skeleton thank you okay skeletons off let's see what about what what strategies do i have here oh the bird yeah the only guy i have upgraded this lizard let's see what can i say what can i say here oh let's do this let's say this there we go that might help that might help a little where did lizardman go all right come on lizard man this is for all the money them in the lava go in this lava big big hit okay bring him back in the lava bring him back in the lava go on this lava go on this lap yeah oh no no no no this guy no no what what is that i couldn't even see him these guys are [ __ ] these are [ __ ] guys all right let's go in with no power now these guys are like immune they're immune to frost and they can't be stunned what is their weakness these guys are weak to like the [ __ ] frog sword there's like a rare frog sword that is the only thing that damages these guys oh my god that is hell that is hell all right this time no i get him and this one go on this lap but go on this lap oh my god get me out of the air yeah yeah yeah i hate that he's so fast yes yes there we go okay wait a minute wait a minute no no no don't be an ass don't be an s don't be an s don't be an ass i hate this guy so much i hate this game no no no why are you here lizard come on lizard come on lizard he's in the lava he's in the lava now's my chance yeah okay one down oh [ __ ] oh my god calm down you [ __ ] jesus he's so fast oh that's big damage though come on you dumbass oh no oh no come on you dumbass game yeah no do it do it i don't give a [ __ ] about that come on no no what is that he doesn't have that that is the shittiest guy oh i hate this oh i hate this all right this time no yeah ow i'm gonna kill this one first he's taking more damage blizzard no lizard no hit them god you guys so [ __ ] slow you can't even take a sip from the flask there we go yeah do it do it do it boom do it again do it again it actually worked no no no no i'm still in this i'm still in this blizzard man is dead already this is not good why does that connect in the air whoever made this entire dungeon is the joker and i hate him you have to go through so much [ __ ] just to get to the [ __ ] ass boss oh my god but this time i get it it's all worth it because there's 10 elden rings in here yeah oh there we go okay this is going a little better here this is going a little better now already this guy already got sick of fighting blizzard man lizard man i need you to actually connect that gigantic whip that goes across the whole man i'm gonna need you to actually hit him with that okay okay there we go there's the shitty move that comes out instantly that knocks your entire health bar off that hits you in the air hey i'm still alive i'm still alive all right all right all right all right i hate this i hate this okay lizardman is dead i this is not going good anymore i'm very glad that i never did this before alright this time i get him now thank you thank you for hitting me through the wall okay i'm too close i'm too close i'm too close for him to hit yeah i just have to run up in this guy's face oh boom come on come on i gotta kill this guy before lizardman dash yeah lizardman's already dead i don't think lizard man is gonna cut it here oh god oh my god yeah this this is not gonna cut it lizardman is not cutting it here we need lizardman to live for more than three seconds to have a chance oh no this guy's too tanky i can't fight him first maybe i'll just draw a girl off of him and just let lizard man hit him maybe i'll just run i'll just run decoy for lizardman huh my sliding move what sliding move oh this oh yeah i'm gonna i'm gonna go get a new strategy going here let's get let's try this out let's try out boom boom let's try this now on this one i get them doubters are getting a lot of coins that's despicable don't worry the believers will be rewarded the believers are gonna be so rich that they're gonna hire all the doubters and then they're gonna fire them it's gonna be a true rags to rich's story all right everybody here we go here we go believers this is the one this is the one this is the one come on believers this is the one this is the one oh [ __ ] maybe not maybe this is not the one yeah this is the one this is the one oh no no no this is the one oh i hate that oh i hate that oh i hate that oh i hate this okay i hate this and maybe this game sucks maybe it's just a bad game maybe let's play cheesy maybe cheesy is a better game yeah i think it's just a faulty game but this one is the one come on snake come on snake get in there snake is running is he's running a scam he's running a big scam oh good job snake good job oh snake did good that time oh god but he's already dead oh okay that's not good actually okay but they're both low maybe this is the one maybe this is the one when do i get to hit i may not get a chance to hit i might just have to dodge for the rest of my life there here's a chance and this game is ass oh god okay and this game is terrible no no oh my god okay okay let's get the [ __ ] out of here okay okay all right all right can i let me go let me go what the [ __ ] oh no do i get the hit do i get to hit no i don't i don't get to hit whoever designed this is a [ __ ] ass okay yeah this is only you can only beat this with the mimic this is not actually beatable without the mimic are they weak to anything are they weak to this i have no moves yet i think cold was doing more i don't think they can even take frost damage though i don't know i don't know what what way to go here weak to parry all right i'll try pairing where's your parry shield this one all right this is my last try then i'm outta here one last try and then i'm gone i don't even care that there's 10 elven rings in here to be fair the prize for killing these guys is probably like probably like a shitty sword that i can't even use it's probably like a wizard staff that lets you summon like two more pebbles all right here we go this is the last battle last battle this is the one where i win finally the believers will be rich okay okay let's get that going all right let's get hit even though he's trying to hit the lizard okay that's a good way to start okay all right they're both just killing the lizard okay that's very good okay okay all right lizard's already dead blizzard is completely worthless all right here he comes i'm not even gonna get a chance to parry oh i gotta parry that maybe all right come hit me okay okay pairing sucks pairing sucks ass no hit me okay it's impossible to parry all right this is the worst boss in the history of video games and we're done and we're all done there and that one we're done now where's my sword in all right let's get the [ __ ] out of here this is for chumps i'm renaming this chump canyon yeah i'll come back when i have more elven range i said it's it's balanced around you having several elden rings i'm going in too early is the problem i don't even have any elder rings yet oh here's another [ __ ] guy i'm just going back-to-back [ __ ] guys here all right here we go all right maybe not i like this boss more yeah i like this boss a lot more he almost got he almost got he's out of here 50 000 oh my goodness oh you know what i gotta do i gotta go get revenge i gotta go get revenge on the duel horses where's the dual horses at i think they're over here let's go get revenge on these games [Music] revenge yeah revenge yeah yeah i want revenge face me face me wow he's out of there one more horse revenge face me no no no no no no no no no come on and face me no no no oh no no no no no no no no no no this guy is out of here easiest guys easiest i think they made this game too easy for me now i'm much too powerful with this game let's eat all this ah i don't think i've ever lost in this game now that i'm remembering all right let's go back to fuckler's castle [Music] i could probably one try the crucible knights yeah i i could probably beat him in one trap but uh i'll save that for later i don't want to beat all the tough bosses so quickly and viewers will lose interest hey damn what is robocop mode oh you don't even want to know about robocop mode you don't want to know about that i could tell you but you wouldn't even believe me now these guys are extremely powerful do not engage do never never try to fight these guys watch watch how good they are harder than the crucible look at that see that power you see the power now look at this watch what they do here this is an incredibly powerful enemy if you're standing where that bubble is oh look at that look at that this guy's crazy look at that he's invincible i'm leaving the big one is very easy to kill actually here's this funny game he's out of there let's just knock these goblin heads off real quick hit this guy's head off oh we got this guy coming in no no no no no no no no no all right now we got to fight a big big tree get ready for the tree battle here he is here we go tree battle oh that was bad no that bounce would never get that bounce would never actually get me oh oh this make it okay that was close that almost got me actually but that that move would never actually get and the tree this tree is out of here all right let's eat let's eat this give me some power fifty thousand holy [ __ ] okay now this is called a ring wraith basically she loves the tree she loves the elden tree have you ever considered considering i've considered it i'm gonna show you guys a very advanced strategy here remember the shitty guys from the shitty cave this guy is just here as a normal enemy but i have a very advanced strategy for dealing with this guy okay and we're done all right it's very high level strategy that i like to use uh all right now we gotta go up the dragon's wing so i'm gonna give you guys some lore here this dragon was the was the father of all dragons yeah and he fell over he died when he fell over oh this guy this guy's classic oh you gotta look this guy oh what a classical bag you're out of there gravel stone very important very important to get the gravel stone this guy i like to let him live actually i don't actually like to kill that guy now i like to pull this lever even though i don't know what it does something happened this is bubble man babe these are very deadly enemies no i wouldn't even try to face them these are harder than the crucible ones i won't even try part of getting good at this game is realizing which enemies you can and can't face [Music] this guy this guy is much easier i'll kill this guy yeah see this guy's nothing this guy's really easy he doesn't even hit any of his attacks right that doesn't work come on now that doesn't work but whatever you do don't fight the bubble guys oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ] i killed the bubble guys i couldn't see him i didn't know oh no oh no oh no huh i'm running i'm running you don't want to fight there this is my number one eldon ring tip do not fight those guys you won't win play orange tesla on their horns play orange tesla under horn all right yeah i'll ask him next time all right now this guy i mean after fighting the bubble guy this should be easy oh he's fast oh oh oh down he goes yeah this guy's nothing this is the first guy to beat eldon ring this is godfrey the first guy to beat a lot of people didn't believe him that he was the first yeah easy easy game let's just make sure there's no bubble guys in here okay yeah we're safe we're safe he was the play tester he play tested the game i don't think he ever went to that cave that i was in though oh have i beat the bubble guy boss no come on now you really think i'm gonna take on the bubble guy boss no no no i know i'm i'm better than that to even take that on now up here we have oh i hate this game i didn't even realize he just sits there this is harder than the guy i just want i hate that i hate it yeah there you go all right the believers are winning the big money here new talisman slap what can i put in here i could go this that's pretty nice maybe i could get a helmet on what else do i have raises attack power constantly attracts enemies aggression oh that sounds really good enhances roars hmm i think that's good i can get a helmet now let's put my helmet on give me give me the funny head there we go this game has no weapons when you think about it when you really think about it that is true actually alright here we go here we go graceless tarnished what is thy business with these thrones ah godric the golden the twin prodigies those are the names of the chairs general radon prieta reichardt luna princess ronnie willful traitors all thy kind are all of our peace oh he's got the rainbow sword last of all kings how yeah oh i don't want to be by that oh he's going [ __ ] mode he's going [ __ ] up mode no no no no no put me down yeah no no let me eat my juice yeah i almost got him he's almost out of there he's out of there he is out of there easy guy very easy all right that's held in the ring i beat the game that's it now we can go into elden tree none may enter the elden tree yep now we gotta do the mini games now to get a hundred percent completion we have to do all the mini games all right now we're starting new game plus this is the start of new game plus your ambitions the principles yeah this guy let's eat this guy [ __ ] him yeah for eating that guy all right now we're going back over here no no no no don't pay me any mind it's not important dang i need more stone still i need more stones we gotta go to this now we gotta go to the [ __ ] zone you know i didn't do you i didn't fight big dragon yet let's go fight the big dragon i think i have gone to every mine so far i think maybe i missed one on the volcano but i don't see it on the map oh now how do you how are you actually supposed to fight the dragon every time i've played this i just take a bleed weapon and hit his tail for an hour are you actually supposed to fight him in a real way you kill the little dragons oh that's how you're supposed to fight him yeah i just went up to his tail every time you can just go right up to his tail right at the start of the game and get a trillion xp that's a classic tail trick let's fight this dragon this dragon's kind of pissing me off and because i hate dragons let's summon lizards get a blizzard man yeah lizard man take this oh my god he stunned him ready lizard man stunned him oh my goodness good job now oh my goodness can he not fly he's just stuck on this bridge nope there he goes what are you gonna do what are you gonna do i'm taking this straight now come on lizard man we got this oh my god he's down again oh my goodness oh my goodness that was quick all right that's some for 80 000 what that guy's worth 80 000. oh my goodness ah i might have to go back to kirby kirby was a little harder than this this game is a little too easy for my tastes i might have to go back to kirby now where's the big dragon where's the big big dragon think he's this way oh is this a tree battle up here all right here we go tree battle oh that was that was not a good start that could hit that could hit okay this isn't going good yeah wow he took nothing oh i hate that i hate that no no no that swing does so much oh my god where is he what's happening huh so delayed he's evil no no no no okay i got this i got this guys don't worry i got this yeah i got this i got this guy i just need that stun to happen maybe maybe we're going to send lizard man maybe that's the plate here man you you killed this game [ __ ] oh my god listen man save me save me lizard man kill him oh no oh no lizardman is dead no oh no i win this i win this no why didn't the flask eat a hit oh no yeah i got a little greedy all right you know what we're just going straight lizard man it's lizard let's get this game oh my god legend man's going crazy legend man's going [ __ ] mode oh god lizard man is dead this is for revenge i hate this one i hate the shitty blood rat thing run run run run run oh yeah he's done it it's over [ __ ] wait a minute wait a minute it's not over yet it's all over and it's all over it's all over and maybe kurt maybe kirby oh it's more up my speed this is a little too easy now where's the big dragon where's the big big dragon i want a big funny one i need a little more strength i think let's get a little more strength i want it to be so when i hit a guy he's no longer in the game permanent i want to be able to delete bosses from the game's code that's where i want to get my that's where i want my stats to be what's the best way to get rooms the best way is to go to the sleeping man's pass and then turn on get redone sword and just farm sleeping guys but that takes so long that's like your late game farming spot i'm about to go to the best the best early way is just to run around and get all the runes from the graves and then come to this dragon that i'm going to you can kill this guy right right away there's a lot of tricks there's a lot of tricks in this game this is the game of a million tricks am i going the right way i see a big dragon i see a big big dragon would i recommend this game yeah i recommend this game you just need a lot of patience because it's a bunch of [ __ ] if you have a high [ __ ] tolerance this will be your favorite game come on [ __ ] face i have never fought these little dragons i don't think he's out of it all right dragon number two here we go we're done we're going again let's see what are you gonna do what are you gonna do that would never work that would never in a million years work and you should be ashamed he's out of there that dragon is out of here wow face me yeah yeah oh god oh god okay so you don't want him to actually hit oh [ __ ] wait wait wait he does so much lizard man help me what is the damage on it okay he's dead they don't have a lot of health at least yeah oh lizardman's going big lizardman is going big did i win can i just go and hit his head is that doing damage yeah wow that does damage there we go so yeah this is a good early farm spot just go to this guy and just go to his tail his tail can't actually fight you i'm just gonna hit him in the head though all right this is shaping up to be a big battle any minute any minute here he could go crazy this is the grandfather of all dragons this is a harder fight than the crucible knights boom all right that should grant me 10 trillion xp or something i just slayed every dragon in the universe that dragon was a hundred thousand years old well he had a good run oh yeah i forgot to eat the golden chicken foot if you eat the golden chicken foot you can get even more money for killing dragons that's a classic trick what is this guy got for me is this good sister or something that's bad here's these things right there whatever wait here till night what happens if i wait here till night is there an evil man here easy boss apparently this is a really easy boss that spawns in here where is he rest again i gotta do it again i don't know this boss is sounding like a lot of work so i actually have to do it again i don't know this sounds like a lot of work this guy oh that was a lot this is this [ __ ] guy again no i hate this i hate this no i don't want to fight this again no no i hate this guy no no no no no i don't like this i don't want to fight this what is that damage that's not that's not correct he doesn't get stunned he's unstunnable no no no no no i hate that i hate that all right so we're not gonna fight there we're just gonna leave that boss there my good tip for that boss is to leave and never return all right let's go over here i'm going to do my classic strategy of not engaging there is a big tree over here though i forget if this tree does give you oh oh okay i went at that i went a little too far no i didn't fight john eldon ring yet i fought his brother i fought tim held in the ring but he's not as powerful here's a funny guy god the shield the shield you're making an ass of me this man is making an ass of me in front of a million people there's a million viewers watching right now right now this is a big evil tree this guy is very easy call this guy a camera killer he attacks your camera oh face me face okay okay i think i think i'm winning this i think i got this all right and he's out of there easy one let's go back up here oh smithing stone six dang is there a bunch of stones in this city i dropped my runes boy i only had like a couple of thousand that was only like six thousand or something there wasn't a lot seventeen thousand that ain't nothing i get seventeen thousand runes in three seconds seventy thousand i get that one second you actually could get that in one second if you just go to the farming spot seventy thousand all right if it's seventy thousand maybe it's worth getting pretty sure it was like 10 points 17 000 what a scam what a scam what a [ __ ] scam is that enough all right let's level up let's level up one more level now i need my strength to get up to about 80 and i can kill you're thinking 99 strength yeah keep in mind i've beaten this game a million times on the hardest setting i did beat this mode as a sorcerer that was like playing on very hard difficulty that was a nightmare when i played a sorcerer the best sorcerer spell was just to [ __ ] summon a sword to hit a guy it was just like having a sword but it was like a shit-ass sword that didn't do any poise damage that was a nightmare okay i just gotta okay i just gotta fight all these lions and stuff okay all right just gotta kill 100 guys this this guy was a boss before now he's just the enemy oh this is going good okay okay that's good i like to i like to get hit by that rock sling goes through the boss fog you can still launch stuff through the fog that's a classic trick from demon souls i didn't even know the bosses spawned in there until you went through the fog that's a classic trick bye-bye thank you chris oh look at this guys i'm needing a mine my swords are not killing as much as i want them to anymore i'm gonna need to level these swords up and get that heavy stone on and get more shots i need more killing to happen i need more damage if the boss isn't halfway dead in one hit you know you're not doing enough damage wow get out of the air get out of the air you're right in there we look at this guy we you titan yeah it's good to do jump attack for every single attack that's one of the that's one of my elden ring tips always use the jump attack for every single attack that you do that's one of my big tips thank you charm yeah even as a magic user just use the jumping just jump and hit them with your staff don't even summon spills all right horsey battle for some reason i remember this guy being an ass is this guy really an ass all right well not on this character he isn't oh it's the orb the orb of atlantis give me that oh this is a this is a boss fight this is one of the biggest boss fights face me face me that could have went but that could have went bad that could have went bad for me that's one of the toughest fights oh i'm going to the nightmare room lizard man i want lizard man that's your man save me you guys are nothing compared to the power of lizard man okay just walked right past me all right that guy's out of there lizard man this one's for you take that one out this one's up to lizard man use your flame attack use your flame attack lizard man now why is he coming here no no no no no you cannot hit me pleasure man you were too late he already went past that okay okay here we go here we go now this is a battle this is a true battle there you go use your flame attack get him in the lava get him in the lava no no no no not me oh [ __ ] he's kicking his ass he's kicking his ass come on there you go there you go yeah get them in the lava get them in the lava oh [ __ ] oh [ __ ] all right i'm getting up now you pissed me off don't you ever kill this man let that be a lesson i just got rolo tony unlocked i need one more point i need one more point now i could go all the way over there and activate a rune to get more health but that is way too far that is way too far they should let you use the horse here i'm not walking all the way over there wait this is where you go oh all right i guess i'll just go up here i'm getting hungry though i'm getting hungry for a streamer's lunch leah's making blts you're making vlts right no oh you already ate oh dang it i'm thinking let's kill one more funny guy then let's end it for today what's a funny guy to face right card is he the snake i think i already fought snake already killed snake mog no i i don't like to i like to not fight that ever my strategy for that guy is to not fight that guy i know what to do we're going back here we're going back for revenge hey i'm going in back for revenge now is this good yet is this even worth doing let's see how much more damage is this even it's probably not any more damage why would you ever put this stupid thing in this gives me pretty much the same damage but also frost why would you ever use the shitty heavy thing split damage gets reduced what's better for these guys these guys have so much armor oh you can use grease that's true that's true actually i don't ever use this stupid grease all right maybe let's let's let's try this let's try heavy and then put some grease in can you put grease on both of them now what's tricky about the grease is i still don't have the crafting tool i still have not actually got the crafting tool yeah from what i understand the crafting kit is a noob trap a lot of people said don't don't pick it up i'm thinking i might have to break that that rule of not getting it you thought i beat this boss already yeah no i did but i brought him back to life for the for the challenge of it i re i really summoned them stupid skeletons get get out of here get outty let me get ready for the fight in peace all right let's turn on let's turn on all powers turn this down turn this on let's kill okay that's a bad start that's a bad start oh whoa okay that's some nice damage oh oh oh yeah e e e yeah yeah oh you guys should have never [ __ ] with me yeah oh my goodness oh my goodness the grease kills the grease is powerful oh my goodness whoa everybody everybody say bye bye to this [ __ ] piece of [ __ ] you are out of there wait where'd he go this guy don't don't kill don't kill this guy let me let let me let me let me taunt him one more time because i truly hate wait wait where's the turn no guys guys trust me this is worth doing actually [ __ ] it let's just kill him all right and that's how you beat out annoying why were those guys worth less xp than the dragon all right i'm going i'm going to eat goodbye everybody

Channel: WaLter .NO

Views: 72,823

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Id: 0okPu8fN7vU

Length: 198min 55sec (11935 seconds)

Published: Sun Apr 17 2022