Drowning in Empathy: The Cost of Vicarious Trauma | Amy Cunningham | TEDxSanAntonio

let's play a little game we'll play a word association game I'll say a word and you can picture something in your head you can even shout it out loud are you ready cow okay so most of you maybe we're thinking this may be a few of you we're thinking more this and maybe some of you thought this we'll do another one work awesome so some of you really love your work like this maybe a few of you we're thinking this and I wonder if anyone felt this well do just one more PTSD or post-traumatic stress disorder so most of you thought this maybe a few of you we're thinking this but I wonder if anyone thought this compassion fatigue is the post-traumatic stress disorder related symptoms that you receive vicariously as a secondary target to trauma compassion fatigue is experienced by those in a helping profession doctors nurses counselors therapists police officers and maybe even you if your unpaid role is that of a helping professional then you may also be affected by compassion fatigue if you are the middle of the night phone answer or helping a friend through addiction or anxiety if you are raising children or caring for parents or maybe both at the same time if your unpaid role is that of a helping profession compassion fatigue could be affecting you as well now what puts you at a greater risk for compassion fatigue is empathy those generally in a helping profession a very strong empathetic response system and empathy is that ability to pick yourself up and put yourself in someone else's shoes and get it really get with where they're coming from the problem with empathy is you don't get to decide when to jump out and those traumas that they experience begin to change you I remember when I was the supervisor of a therapeutic group home and I was sitting down with one of my clients she began to tell me the horrific and painful stories of her past and as she laid out in detail what she had experienced my cell phone began to vibrate and I wanted to show her that I was listening and I cared about every word she said so I picked it up and I silenced it and I put it back down and I continued to listen from that day forward every single time I picked up my cell phone swiped to silence it I was transported back to her trauma my brain had created a PTSD related symptom that transported me back to her situation every single time for years now this would be pretty normal if it happened that day after work at the grocery store or maybe even a week or two weeks later but where we get concerned that maybe this trauma is starting to change you is when it's sticking around for four weeks six weeks and maybe even longer now for many years compassion fatigue was confused people called everything burnout until dr. Charles figley came around in the late 80s and 90s and began to do research we called it burnout but the truth is there's a significant difference between burnout and compassion fatigue burnout has to do with being worn out and tired and just flat out not liking your job anymore compassion fatigue has to do with being afraid compassion fatigue begins to change your hardwiring change who you are we see this a lot in child protective service workers they start to become overly vigilant believing that everyone is out to hurt them and their family when I think of this I can't help but think of the nurse who came after one of my classes and said still to this day she can see the broken bones of the young man who was abused by his parents that's still today she knows the smell of death from a patient who laid in bed dying these memories they do not just go away and they begin to change you but we like to make excuses because we think we're superhuman so we say things like I'm fine I'm a professional I can deal with the stress in fact it doesn't even stress me out my famous talk off was I've been doing this for 15 years I know most people think it's stressful but I'm ok the problem with that is when stress and trauma start to affect you your brain and your body they do not pull for your opinion and they will start to show signs and symptoms because your body and your brain are shouting at you I am NOT ok I cannot handle the trauma in little ways whether you start to have sleep problems either you're sleeping all the time are not able to sleep at all another way it manifests is becoming a workaholic now I know plenty of you in this room think Amy there's nothing wrong with being a workaholic get off my toes let me tell you why it may be a problem because when we start to feel like we are losing control of the world around us what we do is we roll up our sleeves and we work a little harder and I can work hard enough to make this trauma go away another sign and symptom is feeling unappreciated and under-resourced like what you have is not enough to get the job done now I'm not saying that's not true there's a very good chance you are indeed under appreciated but when you started when you started in this helping profession or when you started helping your friend or your family member did you know did you know you were going to be underappreciated but you said it's okay I want to do this anyway it's okay I love you enough but then somewhere along the way that is no longer okay with me it is no longer okay that I am not thanked and that I don't have what I need to succeed what that tells me is your circumstances they didn't change you did maybe you changed because of life maybe you change because of maturity but maybe you changed because of compassion fatigue in the last symptom I want to talk with you about today is called self entitlement and self entitlement is a justification of negative Mel adaptive behaviors because of the positive things you do the best way I can picture putting this is most of us went to school and got a degree or certification to be professionals at what we do but the truth is I'll let you in on a secret that's not enough cuz we're overachievers so we require little invisible badges to really be professionals let me tell you what these invisible badges look like for social workers I know it looks like this I stayed up all night long helping Joe Smith at the hospital now I'm a real social worker for some health care professionals I know it looks like this I worked two shifts in a row now I'm a real health care professional where this turns into self-entitlement is when it looks like this I stayed up all night helping Joe Smith at the hospital that's why I'm a little cranky today I'm brighten everyone's heads off I work two shifts in a row in fact I work 60 hours this week so I'm getting wasted all weekend we begin to justify the negative behaviors because of the positive things that we do now that I have thoroughly depressed you'll want to give you some good news that compassion fatigue can be identified arrested and treated at any time that you can begin this journey for post-traumatic growth that you can be better after trauma than you ever were before and the best way I can think of putting this is when you think of an airplane you know that the stewardess tells you where those exits are and then they begin to tell you to please put your mask on you first before assisting other people now every time I travel for vacation with my family I show the stewardess that I'm listening I get the cue card out of the back seat pocket and I give eye contact I'm almost the only person on the plane listening and I show if the plane went down I could save the plane I'm real intense about it and yet it never fails every time they finish they come over to me and they say excuse me if there were a change in cabin pressure what would you do and I'm a little offended I don't know how they asked me that but you see that flight attendant they see something you don't they see the carry ons that I travel with they see this they do see me and they see this you see that flight attendant knows that no matter how much I listen to her that I will put their masks on them first before caring for myself but you see she also knows that no matter how much of a supermom I believe I am that I cannot live without oxygen and yet every single day we do the same thing I put your mask on you and your mask on you and your mask on you and I don't care for myself but you see we can only give what we have we give out of who we are and if I don't care for myself I certainly cannot care for you so I'm going to ask you to complete a piece of homework for me and I'm going to ask that you please do this every single day for the rest of your life I have big expectations I'm going to ask that you take ten ten minutes just for you ten minutes to put your mask on you first ten minutes to pray or meditate to exercise or take a walk but ten minutes to care for you first take ten

Channel: TEDx Talks

Views: 525,178

Keywords: TEDxTalks, English, United States, Health, Behavior, Compassion, Mental health, Public health

Id: ZsaorjIo1Yc

Length: 12min 11sec (731 seconds)

Published: Fri Apr 15 2016