Dr Katz, Professional Therapist 0307 Day Planner Fred Stoller, Jake Johannsen, Rodney Dangerfield

[Music] Ben is there some way you can chew that do you have to make that sound when you I'm not even chewing I just I don't chew I just swallow I'm sorry I'm a little I'm a little cranky this morning I got no sleep last night the air conditioner kept me up all night oh really yeah it shimmies you know yes it makes a noise I I feel like I've been run over when I I must have slept 15 minutes last night really yeah then you got to go to work I know and I feel I slept 8 hours and I'm going back to bed I just I just got to get some sleep that's it I can take a look at it would you I'm good with a screwdriver be just be careful that you have the air conditioner secured or balanced the super did tell the both of us that it was a two-man job because someone needs to open the window while the other person holds yeah that's why I I don't think you need to open the window or remove the air conditioner I think you just need to secure secure it that's all call [Music] security Dr Catz with your feelings be heard if I left early today Rodney this is not about my feelings so I I guess I would have to ask you uh what time will you thinking of leing now well that hurts a little all right at least at least sit down for a second okay we're done huh I I guess I mean I think this is the easy way out I mean tell me one sad thing yeah all right at least at least can we finish this conversation about your wife okay I got you I remember the first time I met my wife who's in a restaurant yeah she told a waiter I'd like to have something simple so he brought me over see there you go you're joking again I mean we got we're trying to you're not being honest with me one day I asked my daughter what do you want to be when you grow up yeah she looked at my wife she he said single again this is the same thing my kids are nothing but trouble I told my son someday you'll have children of your own he said so were you that's cold am I finished you know I'm not we're not learning anything by doing this hello yes hi do Dr cats it's Fred yeah Fred what are you doing here this is I'm from the appointment you're well you're a little you're you're you're not expected until uh until I might be early but you're 24 hours early Fred well you see I had some I really want to talk about and I was afraid that if I did other things other things would come up and I forget to talk about the things I really wanted to talk about that the other things would cancel it out you know I mean I don't want anything else happening maybe you shouldn't do other things until you see me just don't do other things you know what I mean because if I'm sorry Rodney I'll be with you in one second okay forgive me um so I I really have to I have a guy in there oh could I ask you one quick question really quick oh actually could you just slip the problem under the the door and then when I'm done and where will the answer be I'll slip it right back under the door to you okay okay as soon as I'm done um where's Laura Laura's Laura had to go what are we what am I waiting for now I'm sorry rad one second all right everything okay everything is fine with with with me I think I just need I need to get back to work okay I'm sorry that's okay you mad at me little bit could I give you like some singles for my wallet uh that's not necessary that's a 10 I think [Music] Ben oh God hey Ben daddy did you go back to sleep what did I wake you up did you go back to sleep what time is it it's it's 10 after 9 I went back to sleep what do you mean you get up you have have breakfast and then you go back to sleep what do you call me right when you get to work well I'm calling you for a reason because I leave alone for a little bit I'm going to fix the thing no no no I have another reason is my my day planner I forgot it and I'm and I would love it if you can find it it's either in my room or the living room or the kitchen and just swing by the office with it that would be great dad I don't have time to do all those things today all those things you just said two things I'll try and find the day planner if not I'll just come by no don't come by without the day planner that's my point dad you know you know in biblical times a day was actually like over 3,000 years long is that true yeah you know how many trees it took to make a day planner back then huh a lot yeah right that's what killed the dinosaurs one day [Music] planner um I feel I'm having an okay week this week that's good Jake you know my girlfriend we weren't the the vegetarian well I could finally I got her to go to a baseball game with me yeah you know I like to have a hot dog at the baseball game but she wouldn't leave me alone you know just you don't know what's in there you know I never really cared they're good that's enough except for that white ball you know that thing yeah you know when you bite in the hot dog there's that white ball kind of staring at you a lot of questions come to mind right how many have I eaten so far and should I eat this one cuz you don't know maybe that's the good part maybe they're going to start selling them that way more white balls I went to the grocery store to uh look at the ingredients on a package of of hot dogs right you know half of it I didn't even understand but I was hoping to find something about white ball maybe in parentheses or known as white ball finally I come to beef lips gross yeah I thought they would have made up some code name at least yeah I don't know I I don't know how the lips even get in the hot dogs maybe that's how they make them maybe there's just like a big grinder in the cows they think they're on a tour of the factory and they're just taken by surprise like very nice operation you've got a [Music] grinder [Music] anyway I uh I I'd like to go back to the girlfriend sure she was the vegetarian right and so she wanted me to be a vegetarian cuz that's how they are I think it's a typical relationship thing you know where you get involved with somebody and they give you the old oh I love you change you know you can't meet the perfect person everyone knows that I know that and so you find a person who's close to the perfect person and then you hook him and then work on him a little while they try and dislodge The Lure at the time I loved her I well she loved me too but if there had been a guy who was just like me who was a vegetarian I'd have been whoa hey whoo now my other therapist allows me to swear well that's that's up to him anyway her big one the one that she would use on me all the time she would say well would you eat your cat yeah I try and be honest you know I tell her no I wouldn't eat my cat someone else's cat maybe then it depends on the sauce kind of for me cuz I don't I don't like the heavy cat sauces yeah I tell her I wouldn't eat my cat then I knew it was over it just a matter of how how it's going to play out you know and she would come after me with well what's the difference between your cat and some cow right at that point I'm just winging it you know well like the cat is my pet and I love her and she's sucking up to me you know these cows don't want me to eat them let them stop by with a gift I I I wouldn't eat my cat I I love my cat and she loves me too but she would eat me that's the thing about my cat she would eat me if I slipped in the shower and was all soggy and Bloated she would probably eat me eyeballs first you know what yeah I would eat her now that I think about it yeah I I would I would I I want to warn her when I get home you're on thin ice hi hi Laura hi I'm ready to do the thing mhm I uh so am I next no am I late or early well you're late for last week's appointment and early for the next one do you find my flakiness attractive cuz I'm I'm I'm like a like a Jim Morrison I'm I'm I'm a rebel I just you don't know what you're going to get with me I just I got to have a tantrum now I'm going to knock this off your desk don't do that I'm sorry I didn't mean to get hostile but you know what I mean isn't that good though maybe you should go okay okay I was trying to be a vegetarian because I she she had this power over me I think women they're smarter than men really is the just I don't know if they're smarter but they have a better organization you know yeah because they have meetings and they discuss strategies and techniques and plans and they use them on us you know at their meetings they've got pull down charts and pointers and they're drinking coffee all serious and raising their hands and meanwhile guys at our meetings put the Hat on the dog again I guess we didn't think we needed a plan cuz our demands are pretty simple we only have two demands as far as I can tell which are sex and don't bug us sometimes you know like when we're out in the garage working on our stupid project that they can't believe we're even bothering to build a model of this Starship Enterprise you know that uh has to be perfect so our kids can throw it away when we're dead you know that's going to happen someday right doctor we're all going to be dead and our kids are going to be going through our stuff like where's the money yellow hypen any luck with the uh with finding my day planner I was I was hoping you would have been here by now no luck Dad can't find your book no jeez guess what what's that I fixed the air conditioner hey Ben thank you so much you know I I don't know if if you're going to approve okay but um but it's better than it was yeah yeah okay Ben yes Dad I need to enlist your help right here for you I need to find my day planner I left it either in the what do you call it when you've ruled out certain areas of the apartment you know because I've already searched them you're going through the process of elimination whatever the point is yeah I've eliminated a few rooms and my checklist says I have a couple more to check well Ben you know we have how many rooms in the house is the kitchen right we have the living room we have your room and we have my room we have the foyer the foyer and then we also have the uh the bathroom I mention the bathroom this is a beautiful apartment Dad [Music] yeah Dr cats's office why not hello I mean I know you're running a business but that's awful cold did you find the day planner are you looking no well why not I mean there should be more than one person on this job because it's not here oh could you please find it Laura I'll tell you something right now my dad's in a state I know I'm telling you Ben you have to find it because I'm going to find it Laur the thing the thing about me is that when I start a job I you know I I don't stop until I fail mhm I won't find the day planner I'll tell you that right now I know that but I won't quit oh I tell you doc I got a lot of pressure yeah and this pressure is like a heaviness and it's always on top of me this heaviness when other people wake up in the morning ah new day up and Adam I wake up the heaviness is right there waiting for me and I say hi heaviness and the heaviness looks back at me today you're going to get it good you'll be drinking early today yeah so wait wait who's on top you with a heaviness didn't you hear me the first time I guess I'm sorry I I I don't have time for all this unless the money is right you you'll get paid Rodney but the pay your payment will be in the form of mental health that's what that's the business I'm in I get paid for this that's right you'll get paid back in a different way the the the returns will and to think we get paid for this m want to talk about my childhood yeah all right you know just relax and what whatever pops into your head you know your first memory it doesn't have to be a good memory or bad memory just whatever comes to your mind the time I was lost in a beach yeah I asked a cop how can I find my parents he said I don't know kid there's so many places they could hide yeah I never got lucky with girls eater when I was a kid you know yeah I had a date with one girl I waited 2 hours in the corner a girl walked by I said are you Louise she said are you Rodney I said yeah she said I'm not Louise you're still haunted by the rejection you got as a young man from women that's still is something that weighs heavily on you and you feel like you what what what are you talking about I sense that that that what what you're feeling and what you're saying are so far opposed that that you're just un so uncomfortable with this format um know you take a long time to think about it yeah but we're working at two different Paces here should I pick one is that what you're [Music] saying well Dad I just wanted to f in on my progress yes please I've been looking uhhuh no progress well Ben I to be honest with you I'm not panicking about this yeah you know this doesn't have to do with your Panic this is about my panic I well you've made it you know you've made it my issue too and I'm just trying to say that relax I got it under control I need this B I'm here in the house all day I'm find it I need it and I need it in a hurry so what's so important about the book you need it right now the reason the reason you hear the beginnings of panic in my voice is because contained in that book are all my appointments yeah notes about my patience and the first two chapters of a self-help book that I'm writing so the first two chapters of what uh of I'm working on a self-help book why didn't you tell me dad you can't just hit me with that kind of news like a because I I thought you might make fun of me you know I'm not why would I make fun of you for for all right I'll make fun of you you're writing a book about selfhelp oh self-help are you crazy well you know remember I had a book almost published about 3 years ago called how to hurt your own feelings I I feel like as much as I love my work yeah I feel like there's a more efficient way to help people and that's why this book yeah no it's not about the money then huh it's not about the money it's about the help I just think a lot of these self-help books actually take advantage of people's that's actually not my motivation for writing the book I'm all I'm saying is that I went into the business of therapy why I me it for the money no I me it for what I was saying is a lot I think a lot of these people who write self-help books are doing it for the wrong reasons not to help people but to just help themselves financially and I think that's [Music] great what's wrong what's matter with you don't ask what I essentially my life is is uh over what are you talking about what's going on God what's wrong why the Hang dog you know this book that I that I affectionately refer to as my Bible my yeah with every phone number every appointment every idea I've had in the last 10 years don't tell me well I don't know where the hell the thing is you know I I I'm going nuts I can't find it I can't dress myself without referring to this thing it's really have you retraced your steps I traced them I retraced them Ben has turned the place inside out Jee he says and there's also stuff that just that there's stuff in that book which if taken out of context could be very hurtful that's all oh really to who to well to Ben uhoh to uhy to my friends to you Stanley wait wait wait like there trash there trash in it about me and about no no one said the word trash I just got to ask you something here yeah you didn't talk about the thing that happened in uh in Jersey that time when I had the thing n n if if I wanted you to know x with the in on that thing it's just it's not events that I that I write about it's feelings yeah it's that's okay then you didn't mention the thing in news that that down that weekend in the in the late 7s well that I refer to but but in context and the context of a of a friendship that's almost 20 years old and Julie I just want to I I need to say this to you is that Julie is a very common [Music] name I just today was today was a tough day for you I'm trying not to think about the day planner trying to get over the I Dad yeah I want to just say for the record mhm that I tried my best I know you were I appreciate you seem disappointed in my efforts but well I'm sorry if I SN it's only because my efforts were disappointing yeah the thing about it is it took me all day to to get to this point but I definitely remember seeing it I just don't know wa wait wait wait wait wait wait what do you mean you actually saw it I saw saw today or this morning you know would have been a good idea was to pick it up at that point I just wasn't thinking like that at the time you know well maybe maybe it would be worth our while to retrace your steps right actually it it won't be that tricky dad because I didn't um I didn't take many steps today you know I mean I I stayed relatively still okay well let's let's begin at the beginning okay um I went to work mhm and uh I I started lying down in the kitchen then made my way to the couch yeah and then I then I i' gotten up to look around oh no no wait I fixed the air conditioner and how how did but what I did was because there was a space on the left side it was sagging yeah so what I did was I just put a book right under well it was like a leather bound thing and I put it right under the and wedged it in and now it's fine what my day planner I didn't check yeah it sounds like was it did it did it say day planner on the on the front of it yes it did that might have been it jeez I'm sorry Dad I didn't we've all done that we've all wedged something in between something not realizing what it was you [Music] know I know I I I don't I know I'm never going to understand the world I used to think I was going to just figure out life you know sure remember when you're 15 years old and you think you you think you knew everything people come to you with their problems you know my girlfriend is well break up with her she's a jerk screw her you know it just seemed so simple back then and now people come to me with their girlfriend problems I'm just like well did she shoot you or just point the gun at you I I used to have all these opinions you know doctor I used to look down on people with tattoos mhm because I thought they didn't understand what they were doing and now I admire people with tattoos because at least they thought they knew what they were doing I crave that Clarity to walk in and say to a guy yeah a flying pig with fire coming out of his snout right here cuz that's who I am hello Laura yes this is Fred Stoler um I I'm I'm late from an appointment again you want to know why sure yeah I'm not I'm not going to tell you why that's the Mystique about me I'm an enigma and intrigues you is he one of these is he one of these I'm brooding I'm intense what makes him tick that makes people attracted to me what's this guy about right where are you calling from um my friend's house okay all right all right maybe I'll see you later okay okay thanks byebye I respect the Pierce people have you seen these people sure if you want to freak out your mom you want to freak your mom out now you've got to get a lip or a nostril or eyebrow piercing have you seen that eyebrow where it's like a shower curtain going across there go to hell and then the tongue one wow yeah I don't even understand what the point of that is you know I mean no one can even see it until you go I don't know if there's a name for that or not the tongue although I don't want to know if there is a name I don't want to know because that is just that'd be like one step closer to getting it you know and uh this way I can't get drunk and accidentally order it cuz that would be the worst hangover ever you wake up that next Jesus what the hell did we do last night I got a nail in my tongue go haa it's funny to you whoops you know what the music means our time is up thank [Music] you [Music] down [Music]

Channel: Benjamin Katz

Views: 386,827

Keywords: Dr Katz, Professional Therapist 0307 Day Planner Fred Stoller, Jake Johannsen, Rodney Dangerfield

Id: 8PMESZh6nzk

Length: 22min 5sec (1325 seconds)

Published: Wed May 16 2012