Dr A R Bernard : The Four Pillars Of a Blessed Life ( Part 1 of 2)

so let's go to the Lord in prayer Heavenly Father thank you so much for your presence that is here Jesus you said that whatever your father plans no one can pluck up thank you for longevity thank you for strength stability consistency a clear future and vision for this ministry thank you for the leaders who have weathered the storm thank you for those leaders who continue to weather the storm thank you for the growth and development thank you for the fact that City Harvest didn't just go through that they decided to grow through because we know at the end of the day everything works for your good and for our good because we love you and we believe we are called according to your purpose so tonight we gather in your name and we ask you once again to touch our eyes to see our ears to hear our hearts to understand feed us with the wisdom and instruction of your word we thank you in advance in Jesus precious name Amen and amen you made receiver play the Lord of course I bring you greetings from our congregation Christian Cultural Center in New York we continue to grow my son Jamal is now pastoring one of our new churches that we planted and that church is growing nicely and so we are growing but it's a decentralized growth it's growth across different platforms culture has changed technology has fashioned and reshaping and reconfiguring life even in the church so we're watching and learning and growing with those changes so I bring you greetings from our congregation Christian cultural center I bring you greetings from my lovely wife Erin and she sends her love this year we will be married for 46 years we celebrate our 46th wedding anniversary I don't know about you but you should be clapping aloud that's a lot of work for this yeah come on we started dating April 21st 1969 most of you weren't even born so next year 2019 we will be together for 50 years half a century that's a long time gosh of course we got married when we were eight we met when we were four kids praise the Lord but I bring you greetings from her and my seven sons and our 22 grandchildren we've been busy since I've been away so my children have taken over and I will tell you I love the grandchildren I enjoy them because you get the benefit of having them around you the love the fun the joy the noise and then you can send them home and the house gets quiet peaceful and clean again I want to share some things with you to encourage you and strengthen you in your relationship with God also in your relationship with other people I'm sharing with you an introduction I do part two today and continue tomorrow morning and it's something that I've come to after 40 years of ministry this year have already also celebrated four decades of ministry pastoring a wife and I and you know you learn things and you begin to clarify what the essentials are in a relationship with Lord and growth and development so there's a book the next book that is coming out and it's also four things you familiar with the book that I wrote four things women want from a man and if you're not familiar with that book you need to get that book it'll save your marriage it'll it'll actually save your life because it'll help you understand how to make better decisions when it comes to relationships that you're going to enter supposedly for a lifetime but the new book that I'm working on and we're trying to get it out by September it talks about four things that you need to be convinced of in order to have a healthy relationship with God the title of the book which I will give you credit for because we were wrestling with a title for the book what I just said to you an explanation of it was a little long so when I got the text yesterday our staff needs to know the title of your message you force me to create a title for the book so I want to thank you City Harvest for giving me the title of the book and this is the first time that I'm publicly announcing this and the title of the book is the four pillars of a blessed life so I thank you for that inspiration and as long as the editors and the publisher doesn't change it that's what we'll be working but it's true that as I have traveled around the world ministered to congregations spoke with Christian leaders but also as I observed my own congregation too often Christians don't have a healthy relationship with God and that comes out of misinformation maybe sometimes a lack of maturity but what I find most it comes from a lack of four essential things that you have to be fully convinced of faith is being convinced of something that's why faith is a conviction and convictions are things that are unchangeable and non-negotiable convictions grow strengthened under pressure so faith is a conviction faith is a set of things that you are convinced of and it's that absolute confidence that gives faith the substance it needs to support you as you wait for the thing that is not seen to materialize and that's essentially what Hebrews is saying when it says faith is the substance of things hoped for the evidence of things not seen faith in God is absolute confidence in God's power God's wisdom and God's goodness and let me really design the order of that faith in God's wisdom first then his power then his goodness because his wisdom governs his power his wisdom governs his goodness God is good god is benevolent so faith is absolute confidence in God's wisdom his power and His goodness there are four stewardship responsibilities that God gives to every human being stewardship over number one hour time number two stewardship over our talents our god-given abilities and gifts and talents thirdly stewardship over our treasury what that time and those talents produce sometimes that Treasury is monetary most often it is not money but assets that we possess and number four God has given us stewardship responsibility over our relationships so we have stewardship responsibility over our time talent treasure II and our relationships in stewardship responsibility means that we have to manage those things and we will be judged by how we manage those four things so as Christians when we come before the judgment seat of Christ we will not be judged for sin that's already taken care of but we'll be jobs we will be examined about the life that we live and how we managed our time beautiful passage in Psalm 90 where it reads Lord teach me to number my days that I might apply my heart to wisdom it means give me the wisdom to manage to steward my time carefully effectively productively so stewardship is a responsibility because we enter the world with nothing and we leave with nothing except what we leave behind which is called our legacy the impact the imprint that you leave on human society and the kingdom of God and we all leave a legacy of some kind so we have four stewardship responsibilities to worship over our time our talent our treasury and our relationships and sometimes in fact more often than not it can be easier to manage your time your talent and your Treasury than it is to manage your relationships I'll see it again quite often it's easier to manage your time your talent and your Treasury than it is to manage your relationships relationship stewardship requires a lot of effort a lot of patience a lot of understanding it's true humanly speaking and it's also true in our relationship to God all human relationships are horizontal our relationship with God is the only vertical relationship we should have so all relationships other than God occupy a horizontal plane and there are some fundamental phase that apply to both our relationship with God and our relationship with human beings with people so let me give you some a subset of principles truths with regard to relationship we'll start in the human realm and then we'll translate that into our relationship with God when you have a healthy relationship with God you walk in peace you walk in strength you walk in confidence you look at life differently you deal with stress differently the whole lens through which you see and understand and make sense of life and yourself your own identity is different when you have a healthy strong relationship with God so let me give you a subset of principles and then I'll go into those four pillars I'll only be able to deal with one because we don't have the time but at least I can lay some groundwork so number one and you know what let me give you the text because I don't want to think anyone to think that I don't know the Bible this text stirred me to understand a few words that are built into it it's found in John chapter 17 beginning at verse 22 and I have been living in this 17th chapter of John for a few months now because it's so rich Jesus is at the end of his ministry and he spent time with these disciples beginning at chapter 13 right through chapter 17 and he pours into them preparing them to continue this mission this calling that is so huge so beyond them so he had to instruct them on certain basic issues so he begins by demonstrating the kind of humility that they should have one towards another by washing their feet in chapter 13 and then he talks about the vine and the branches so that they would understand that the success of their ministry would be their dependence on him he introduces the holy spirit and a ministry of the holy spirit he talks about the fullness of joy and throughout those chapters he's he's preparing these individuals setting their mind for the future of the church and the Ministry of God in the earth so in chapter 17 he's closing it out in a very powerful prayer to the Father and he begins to discuss those things that are most important to him personally to the father and to these individuals who would take his message out into the future he makes a distinction between them and the world and he prays not that they should be taken out of the world but that in the world they should be protected from the evil one that they would not fall prey to the flesh or the devil or the influence of the world this was his prayer but he also talks about a unity that he desires for them similar to the unity that he has with the father he says that they may be one just as you and I are one let's go to verse 22 and we read it in the New King James Version and the glory which you gave me I have given them or we could unpack that but we can't tonight that they may be one just as we are one so he's playing praying for relationship he wants their relationship with each other and with the father to mirror his own relationship with the father and the relationship between he and the father he continues in verse 23 I in them and you in me that they may be made perfect complete whole mature in one and that the world may know that you have sent me and these are the words that really gripped my heart over the last several months and have loved them as you have loved me have loved them and you have loved them just as you have loved me so what he's praying here is that the love that God has for his children would be put on display to the world so that the world would be fully convinced of the message of Jesus the love of Jesus the life of Jesus and the light of Jesus that is in every human being because of the presence of Jesus when he comes into that person's life put that love on display so the question is what does that love look like how do we identify it as God's love and then we bring it down to a human level how do we know if someone loves us what does that look like when someone says I love you what does that mean because there are certain things built into it that too often we assume an assumption is the lowest form of knowledge so it caused me to explore this and consider what things are foundational to a solid healthy relationship with God but also in relationship to people so I took the time to understand a little bit deeper four things it's always four things for things that are subsets part of the foundation number one and these are not the four pillars number one think about this okay we're talking about relationships here all relationships are based on trust all relationships are based on trust the Bible says that without faith it's impossible to please God to be at one with God without faith and as I shared with you what is faith it is absolute confidence in God's wisdom God's power and God's goodness absolute confidence beyond the shadow of a doubt it's conviction you can't be talked out of it you can't be frightened out of it you can't be threatened out of it and whenever pressure comes on it that faith grows stronger so all relationships are based on trust Trust is confidence in someone's character ability strength and truth so Trust is foundational to every relationship how can you have a healthy relationship with someone if you cannot trust them and Trust is extended to the limit of truth and no more so when truth is absent and falsehood comes in it breaks the trust and the relationship becomes destabilized because now character is in question ability is in question strength is in question credibility is in question because it's all held together by truth in America we're having a challenge right now because the social political spiritual immoral climate is challenging the trust that our nation has in its government and the leadership is not making it easy because the very leadership is questioning the legitimacy of the government itself different branches of a government that is supposed to work and be above and beyond any one administration is now being questioned and what that does it shakes the public trust so if the people can't trust the government then the relationship between the society and its government is shaken and destabilized and a society does not function the way that was designed to function trust in governance is critical and that's true in relationships all relationships are based on trust all relationships have expectations I'm gonna write can I write so all relationships are based on what trust yeah and that's why men and women going into considering a deeper relationship with each other there is what is called a courting period getting to know you it begins with introduction I've shared with this with you years ago an introduction then it moved to a waiting ship then it works and bills to friendship and then from friendship it goes to a level of intimacy depending upon what kind of intimacy that represents but it begins with introduction so it has to go through a process relationship and what's the purpose for that process to do what to build trust to build trust and that's why you take time in relationships especially if you're thinking about long-term relationships whether it's in marriage or in business or in some other occasion we take time to build trust well what is true in human relationship is true in our relationship with God sometimes you know often even not sometimes it's quite often it's easier for God to save you and it takes longer for him to get you to trust him so he has to take you through a process and part of building that trust is how He loves you and will look if we can at those elements under that heading of God loving you so all relationships are have expectations and that's important because if we don't know what we expect from each other we will be disappointed by each other because expectation and I'm sorry disappointment is never based upon what you find it's always based upon what you expected to find so we can go into relationships ex expecting certain things and finding what we didn't expect and the degree of disappointment is determined between the reality of the relationship and the ideal that you were expecting and the greater the distance between those two things determines the degree of disappointment and unfortunately too many people know just enough about God to be disappointed in him and often you can know just enough about a person to be disappointed in them it's not until you sit down spend time and hear their story and get to know them that the relationship changes that's why the Apostle Paul said that I might know him in two ways number one in the power of his resurrection but also in the Fellowship of his suffering so whenever you are going to get into a relationship with someone especially if it's a love relationship you need to sit down and have a conversation and say what are your expectations of me in this relationship it's true a relationship is true when you work for some company you or a boss you want to know what do you expect from me what are the expectations because until those are clearly implicated everyone's operating on assumption and as I said to you assumption is the lowest form of knowledge I mean any me how many mistakes we make because we assume and this is what we say but I thought and you fill in the blame right it's dangerous to operate on that if we're going to be good stewards of our time our talent and our treasury what are your expectations what do you expect from me what should I expect from you are those expectations reasonable it's true in relationships personal relationships it's true in your relationship with your job the company that you work for it's true of the church when you come and join this spiritual family this community of faith and you identify with City Harvest Church guess what you have certain expectations of this church and rightly so certain Harvest Church has and should have certain expectations of you as a member as a part of this family so there is a two-way right of expectation you to the church and the church to you our relationships are based on trust all relationships have expectations hallelujah an expectation is legitimate it's great because in the spiritual realm expectation sets the atmosphere for miracles because expectation fills you with anticipation expectation is what you're looking forward to in the relationship it fuels the relationship it excites the relationship it opens the door for passion creativity innovation in the relationship and when those expectations are not discussed or clearly articulated the expectation can be set so high and unfairly and unreasonably that they're not met which means the relationship is going to end and disappointment in our relationship with God we have certain expectations amen yeah and the thing about it is too often those expectations can be unreasonable and unbiblical and if we have unbiblical expectations of God when those expectations are not met we're gonna be disappointed with God it's like when Jesus finally gets to where Lazarus is he's dead and and what does she say you know they've got Mary and Martha what does she say she says Lord if you had been here my brother Lazarus would not have died you see she had a certain expectation right about the relationship that they had that Jesus would care enough that when he heard that Lazarus was sick he would have come right away but he did eat if you read the story in John 11 he didn't in fact he delayed long enough for Lazarus to die and be buried and that did make sense so when he find he gets there she expresses her disappointment she said had you had been here my brother wouldn't have died he'd still be alive and then evidently Jesus reminds her of a conversation that they had he said didn't I tell you that if you believe you would see the glory of God he said I am the resurrection and the life he that believes in me though he were dead yet shall he live and he that believeth deliver shall never die love that King James language so he was reminding her of something that he had already told her but she wasn't convinced of it it wasn't a conviction and that's why I say these are things you have to be convinced of because if you're not convinced then doubt can rush in circumstances and situations can affect you and influence you in such a way that you begin to question the relationship and question the character and credibility even of God so relationships are based on trust relationships have expectation I need to write that one I know you you you guys take great notes so relationships also have intentions that's Arry spoke about fear and and love as a driving force relationships and intentions and it's important that when you enter a relationship you you sit down and have that conversation the fact every relationship is almost an interview you say okay can I trust you what are your expectations but now the third question is what are your intentions what outcome do you see from this relationship what's the outcome that you see because if we don't have a shared outcome we're going to be moving in different directions and the relationship is doomed to fail from the beginning relationships have intentions what are your intentions now I had have seven sons I didn't have any daughters and I had someone asked me this crazy question why do you have seven sons like I planned it that way and I said simple because I wanted a daughter so if you if at first you don't succeed you keep trying seven times and never forget when my youngest son my last born son went when he was born because I was I was I was in the delivery room with my wife Karen and and and they did you know I watched as they delivered the baby held him up and and I looked at him and I said you're a boy and I I was afraid to tell my wife Karen because you know seven times and she was blaming me and here he was this beautiful baby boy and so when you know because she had surgery cesarean section so they were getting ready to you know roll her out so that she could recover and I meant she was groggy and and and she looked at me like I said baby's fine I left it there yeah so I had seven sons we had seven sons we didn't have a daughter but if I had a daughter and she grew up and some young man came calling my daughter I would take him through this message I would say this is my daughter can she trust you can I trust you I would invite him to the house while I'm cleaning my samurai soul but I would ask what are your intentions my daughter I want to know does this man have a sense of vision what are his core values does he have a moral compass does he have all of those things because he is going to move into a position of authority and covering over my little girl so now I have daughter-in-laws so I hold my sons accountable and my daughter-in-laws understand that and believe me they appreciate that protection and that covering what are your intentions in this relationship number four relationships have motivation back to what Beth Aires said about driving force what's your motivation and in relationships there are two motivations love or lust love or lust you have that here in Singapore right lusts you don't look sure you've learned over time I'm sure this is familiar to you these words but love is defined as the desire to benefit the one love at the expense of self so love is sacrificial love is redemptive love is unconditional true love we're talking about agape love the supernatural God kind of love the love that ties together all other kinds of love in America and in English language actually we only have one word l.o.v.e so you have to understand its context in order to understand how the word is being used but beautifully in Scripture in the Greek language all right there are four words that describe love we're not going to break them down but they are eros philia or phileo storage 800 the three loves and of course is agape love which is divine love that Jesus talked about and highlighted so what's your motivation does that person love you or do they lost you because if they lost you then they only desire to benefit themselves at your expense love desires to give lust desires to get so instead of lust being like love sacrificial love the selfish so I have just given you all that you need to interview anybody who would like a relationship with you I was hoping that you would appreciate that so the hand clap really makes a difference for me that's really really important not all human relationships will go back to the text are successful not all human relationships are successful and what I mean by that is that they don't always produce the intended or even desired outcome and that's where disappointment comes in how many of you have ever been disappointed by a relationship yeah oh gosh only a few of you I have to find out your secret let's meet after service please [Applause] but all human relationships don't always have a favorable outcome or achieve the expected end or result that's the reality of human nature you know you've got to feel your way to see if the chemistry's there if it'll work that's why it takes time to establish relationships and part of your stewardship responsibility over relationships is is to understand this and apply it so with that said your relationship with God is critical it's critical you don't have to interview God some Christians do you don't interview God you get to know God you get to understand his nature theologically there are several attributes of God we talk about God being omnipotent all-powerful omniscient all-knowing omnipresent everywhere present but when it comes to his essential attributes his nature by which we can understand how to relate to him God nature Express is expressed in three ways God is love God is life and God is light I'll say it again the essential nature of God God is love God is life and God is light illumination understanding knowledge wisdom love predictively sacrificially unconditionally life vibrancy productivity multiplication and why is this important because the nature of someone is their inherent character that influences and governs their words thoughts motives actions and attitudes so if you understand someone's nature you know whether you can trust them you know what their expectations are you know what their intentions are and you know what their motivations are and God has made all of those things clear in his word in the scripture in the Bible so once we know God's nature once we understand that God is love that God is life and that God is light we can now understand and set our expectations as to how God will respond he's always going to respond in love in life and in light no matter what even in negative situations how is God going to respond with love life right and that's important that you understand that nature see too often Christians don't understand the nature of God especially since the Bible tends to anthropomorphize God in such a way that we attribute to him human characteristics that can confuse us but anytime there's an effort from or physician of God that's a long word it simply means that when you read like in the Old Testament God was grieved God became angry it repented God God was jealous okay God doesn't have to repent of anything he doesn't change his mind because he doesn't go through a process to make a decision he's omniscient which means he knows everything already so if you know where things are already you don't have to go through a process of moving from one level of knowledge or a degree of knowledge to another he's out for an Omega God God and God is impersonal in that he doesn't go through a range of emotions in reaction to what we do or what we say because if God reacted emotionally to what we do and what we say then God is dependent codependent on us and our emotional state can influence God and if that's true and he's codependent he's no longer God God has nothing to be jealous of what do you have to be jealous of when you're fully secure in yourself and you've got everything but we read these words in the Old Testament and in a new Testament words of grief etc because what we're doing is anthropomorphizing God in other words we are tributing human qualities to him to help us understand him by expressing him if he were human but it doesn't mean that God gets jealous he's not human hello God is not human see but if you don't understand that you read the Old Testament you know God God was jealous God got angry you know you you think Oh God can get angry with me God can be jealous of me and enough to know God is not schizophrenic he's not very stable remember he said I'm Alpha and Omega beginning and the end so he doesn't have to arrive anywhere but we do that in life how many know Mickey Mouse is not human but we ascribe human characteristics to Kenickie right and goofy there's a wonderful book very short children's book packed with such depth and I have to have my wife Karen read it all the time because she tends to be an enabler is this being recorded because she has a big heart the name of the book is called the giving tree and it's a great book for you to read alright and in the book the tree is anthropomorphized the tree is given human characteristics but it's a tree we answer for fires throughout our cultures we give we ascribe human characteristics to things that we know are not human but what we're saying is if they were human this is how they would feel so when we do that to God we're saying if God were human he would be jealous he would be green amen but God doesn't go through all of that hallelujah so when we know the nature of God and we're convinced of that nature then we can know what to expect from God God is love God is life and God is light so no matter what the situation of circumstance in your relationship with God how is he going to respond he's gonna respond in love he's gonna respond with life he's not gonna speak death to it Jesus said I've not come that the steel killing destroyed the thief does it I'm come that you might have what life energy I'd have it more abundantly so every God is gonna respond out of his nature he's gonna respond out of what love life and light when you say well why did he do some of the things that he did in the Old Testament because there's another aspect of God called justice and boy we would need some time to talk about that because we have our own idea of what justice is get him back vengeance is not justice vengeance is not justice there's a lot for us to learn about God but essentially only to get those three things God is what come on say it God is what love God is life and God is life so when you are in a situation and you're asking God you know you're interacting and and and and and you know drawing from the relationship with God he's gonna respond in what way love he's gonna love you through it right he's gonna love you through it and he's going to pour life into the situation all right and thirdly you're gonna learn something from it he's gonna bring light he's gonna illuminate the situation so you've learned something from it so now what do we just do based upon establishing God's essential nature you can now set your expectation now the devil will come and try to convince you that God is not love that God is not life that God is not like he did it in the garden when he convinced Eve that God was holding out on her holding back which means that God is not credible then you can't trust him that's what the devil was saying and that's what he does to us the battle is in the mind the battle for faith and that's why I say faith is absolute confidence you can't be negotiated out of it it's unchangeable and it grows stronger under pressure when the devil pressure Joel what did he get Joel worshiped that's exactly what the devil should get out of you every time he puts the pressure on you you just start worshipping hallelujah Lord bless you Lord hallelujah love your Lord thank you more you are loved you are you are like devil doesn't know what to do with that I just finished the introduction now let me give you those four pillars am I out of time how do you all know that let me give you those four pillars and we're going to talk about the first pillar okay these are four things that you must be convinced of a pillar is a foundation it is it is a support for whatever you build on top so the pillar is foundational to the superstructure and he's our four things you must be convinced of you can't waver you can't be in doubt you have to have absolute confidence in and it comes from God's wisdom his power and his goodness are you ready number one and this may sound simple but when we unpack it you'll realize that it's not as simple as you may think number one this is big big God loves you that's where it starts starts right there the others mean nothing if you don't get that you've got to be convinced of that if you doubt it your relationship hallelujah but I feel the presence I got goose bumps I got feel the friends we've got listen if you doubt that your relationship with them is going to be shaky you can't build trust if you're not sure that you are loved because love is the motivation love sets the expectation love God guide the intentions love becomes the basis for trust so number one God loves you hallelujah in the book I unpacked what that means number two God created you for a purpose God created you for a purpose God created you for a purpose you gotta be convinced of that otherwise you'll wonder why am I here what am i doing what's my destiny what's my value what's my identity what's my purpose and you get caught up in the maze of that in the book I discuss what purpose is your gonna want to buy that book I got my editors working I got everybody working because I'm pushing to get it out so number one god loves you number two God created you for a purpose number three God designed you for achievement and fulfillment God designed you that's why you hunger for achievement that's why you hunger for fulfillment because you've been designed for it it is your design God made you that way it's part of who you are especially in the image of God the imago day so God loves you God created you for purpose God designed you for achievement and fulfillment and number four God believes in you and I will tell you all it takes is one person the right person to believe in you and it can change your life there's some incredibly talented people gifted people and all they need is someone to believe in them and then they will rise to the occasion release those gifts release that talent release the creativity ingenuity innovation that's built into them because we're made in the image of God Elohim who is the Creator God so God first introduction of himself was in his creative identity as Elohim in the beginning God created in the beginning Elohim he comes on the scene creatively hallelujah and we're made in his image and one of his communicable attributes is his creativity so just like God is creative guess what we are creative God believes in you God believes in you in America on our money we have in god we trust' and we get that believe in God have faith in God trust God but how about this God believes in you and their reasons that I say that he's invested in you in so many ways and in the book I talk about personal experiences and and unpack that and understand how and why we can make that statement with absolute confidence believes in me yes because he knows that that understanding is what inspires him to rise up to achieve to accomplish to be who leads to design you to be to fulfill your purpose and live and walk and love life and life four things you must be convinced of in order to have a healthy relationship with God number one talk back to me number one God loves you number two God created you for a purpose number three God designed you for achievement and fulfillment number four God believes in you come on let's personalize it come on you're ready come on say it God loves me come on say it God loves me God created me for purpose God designed me for fulfilment and achievement God believes in me that's good that is so good we're taking this book and we're going to make it foundational reading for everyone that comes to join our church because once they grasp these four things once they're convinced of them I know that they're going to function in the community of the church in the life of the church in a spiritual family in a healthy way but if they're not convinced that these four things they're not gonna function in a healthy way because wars and conflict do not begin externally they begin internally James chapter 4 where the Wars and Fighting's come from among you don't they come even from within your own members that are at war with each other so there is the internal life of a Christian and then there's the external life of the Christian how what's going on inside of us is expressed and lived out translated externally so there are four things you need to be convinced of there are four pillars of a blessed life because I will tell you once you're convinced that God loves you that he created you for purpose that he designed you for achievement and fulfillment and that he believes in you you are gonna have a blessed life I love you City Harvest so good to be back with you hallelujah come on let's stand and give God some praise some Thanksgiving did you get a word tonight come on let's get em praise [Applause]

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Length: 62min 28sec (3748 seconds)

Published: Fri Jun 01 2018