Do THIS to ATTRACT your DREAM LIFE (Your IDENTITY & Fears Are LYING TO YOU!) | Rob Dial

we think and we feel like intellectual fears feel like Primal fears in our body I shouldn't go and do this I have this fear of failure there's danger I shouldn't go and try to create the life that I want I shouldn't try to manifest the life that I want when you look at a fear that is an intellectual fear you say okay now that I've identified it how to overcome it the key to it is you can't overcome something that doesn't exist when you feel fear what's a hack the only hack is you're going to have to get yourself to a point where be like I have to do this or else I'm not going to be able to create the life that I really trly want in my biggest fear how can we make sure that we pursue the things we want and not get paralyzed by needing to be perfect due to our fear of failure yeah so I think you got to have a dream the school of greatness really yeah please welcome Le how welcome back everyone to the school of greatness very excited about our guest we have the inspiring Rob D in the house mindset Mentor my man my man welcome you've got a book out called level up how to get focused stop procrastinating and upgrade your life yes sir and we've been in this similar space for a decade together you've been doing your show for eight years I've been doing mine for 10 m um and we've both experienced a lot and also researched a lot and interviewed a lot and just dived into this content for a long time and one of the things that I see that a lot of people struggle with is having the motivation to go for authentically what they want they want to accomplish achieve and manifest more but they don't have the motivation or the desire to actually consistently show up for that work to attract and draw it into them faster and I'm curious if people are looking to attract and manifest faster what they want what are the three things they're going to need to let go of in order to draw that desire to them faster yeah good question this is a great question I'm excited about this so so uh so when I wrote the book the original title was take action because I looked at it and I was like all right I have 1300 podcast episodes of the mindset Mentor like what do I teach what is it that I actually teach and I looked at I was like the majority of it is tips and tricks neurological psychological stuff to actually take action because we both know everyone listening knows people who they want something in their life but they won't actually take action towards it and so the entire book is was going to be called take action I was like that's not really sexy right like level up sounds sexier um because I look at life as like a video game which is you know when you go to a video game it'd be the most boring video game if you played it and there was no challenges there were no bad guys any of that and every time you experience a challenge you experience a bad guy even when you die or fail in a level it always makes you better and then it allows you to be better when you do get to the next level and the next level and the next level and so it's it's just the idea of leveling up and seeing that every single challenge is brought to you for that um but there's there's three parts to it in the book the first one is why you don't take action which is perfect because that's what we can talk about here the second is how to take action and then the third is how to actually turn it uh through neuroplasticity your action into habits and so the two I'll give you two things that are the main ones I'll give you an easy one that's that'll be the third people want to control everything that's that's one of the biggest things were like they want to control uh which I am a recovering control holic that's for sure um but I've gotten to the point in my life where I realize if I just take the right action and I'm heading if I'm heading in the right direction if I'm taking the right action will work itself out and so for me like I remember being 21 working 110 hours a week and being like why am I not a millionaire yet and then I realized now that I'm 37 it was like time just has to catch up you know it's like we think so much in the short term and it's more of like if you think over a decade or two decades it all works itself out eventually and so I think control's a big piece but that there's two parts in the book that are are two things that are in in part one uh number one is people's identity ofs and who they think they are is a real big piece um and then the second piece is the fears that they have and so when you look at like identity um identity is a big piece because we it's interesting we're like brought into this world and we're these perfect beings that are just have no identity we don't know a name we don't know what we're supposed to do and what I always say is that people are not really children are not socialized we're kind of domesticated so we so we fit in and we do exactly what we're supposed to do and in turn the average child is reprimanded eight times more than they're praised which means the average child thinks I don't know what I'm doing subconsciously or I'm not good enough subconsciously eight times more than they think I'm good I know what I'm doing I think that turns into a lot of self-love problems that people have and so with identity over years we build up this identity of like this is who I am and this is my personality but then when you look at like the root word of personality in Greek was Persona which is the mask that people would wear on stage when they were in place and uh you can change a person at any point in time you just have to get rid of the identity of who you think that you are and so if you look at identity like I see people who are saying like I want to lose 30 lbs and they can consciously want that but then subconsciously they have this identity of my whole family's overweight it runs in my genes and this is just the way that I am I've tried it so many times that it's never worked before and we build this identity up and think well I consciously want to lose the weight but it's not going to happen because of this thing this thing this thing and all of that could it is it harder for some people to lose weight than other sure is it impossible for someone to lose weight absolutely not and so we build this identity of like or in in some people's relationships they build this identity of like I'm unlovable it can come from their parents and then it's reflected and being cheated on and we start to build this I'm I'm unlovable identity and then it reflects in all of our relationships from then on out unless we decide to change it and um one of my favorite quotes around identity is Alan watt says you're under no obligation to be who you were 5 minutes ago like you can just change it just decide to be somebody else today if you really want to and then the second thing that holds people back I guess it would be the third that holds people back is the fears that they create and um and fears are a real big one that people we can we can dive into that really hold a lot of people back and and how to work through and overcome those fears as well why do people create fears that hold them back from attracting or manifesting more yeah so um when you look at fears it's really interesting because so many people are held back by I I'll take a step back so when I look at fears I categorize them in two different types of fears uh there's Primal fears and a primal fear is there is physical pain or death that's attached to it and so we should have Primal fears what kept our species alive species alive but there's actually on two fears that people are born with uh it's the fear of loud noises and the fear of falling are the two one that are built into the human circuitry everything else is learned and so out of all the other ones that are learned you have Primal fears which is actually like physical pain or death attached to it which we need to survive M the other ones are intellectual fears and an intellectual fear would be like I ran a um a webinar last night with a few thousand people we were talking about the book and um and I said what's your number one fear everyone put in the chat the thing that's holding back the most 90% of them is a fear of failure so it's like the fear of failure the fear of rejection the fear of not being loved the fear of running out of money all of those are intellectual fears because they're not actually existing in reality in this moment and there's a quote that's in the book that I really loved which is um fear an intellectual fear like we have that we're talking about is a perception of a imagined future event and the key part is imagined future event it may never happen and it's not happening right now and so what's happening is we have these we think and we feel like intellectual Fe fears feel like Primal fears in our body which is there's danger I shouldn't go and do this and so it's like I have this fear of failure there's danger I shouldn't go and try to create the life that that I want I shouldn't tried to manifest the life that I want and so we have these fears and then so people say okay like Lewis I've got this fear of failure tell me how to overcome it and then here's the craziest part is when you look at a fear that is an intellectual fear and you say okay now that I've identified it how do overcome it the key to it is you can't overcome something that doesn't exist so how do you let go of it that you you right so that's that's the that's the key right so so first off people need to like really get into their heads first off is you cannot overcome something that doesn't exist you are creating in your mind the Boogeyman and all day you are fighting the boogeyman but it the boogeyman doesn't exist in the first place and that's your fear of failure the fear of rejection the fear of not being good enough not smart enough not pretty enough to have the success that you want the impostor syndrome all of those are just figments of our imagination and we're fighting them all day long and they don't actually truly exist and so what it comes down to is okay I can't overcome it but it still kind of lives inside of me from my childhood right and so what I've been teaching people is it's not about overcoming the parts of you that exist it's about integrating the parts of you that exist and so it's like you can have a fear of failure like I I'm afraid of failing all the time and I screw up all of the time right and that's just the way that it goes but it drives me to create better content it drives me to create better stuff and so the way I like to look at the fears that you do have that are intellectual fears is they are tools for your tool belt where it's like okay I have this fear of failure I feel it inside of my body which is usually where you feel at first you don't notice the fear in your brain it's usually like I feel kind of anxious right now and so you notice the fear inside of your body it's like what am I afraid of right now I'm afraid of failing okay I notice it I'm not trying to get rid of it because you can't get rid of parts of you you know if you look at like internal family systems it's a a a version of therapy it's the different parts of you and so I can say okay this part of me is afraid of failing I can listen to that part of me or I can say how can I use this fear to actually help me create better content or help me create write a better book you know if I'm afraid of like putting this book on it just completely flopping could do that right or I could say I remember when I was writing it I was like I really want this to be good it made me do more rounds of edits which in turn hopefully made it a better book yeah and get more feedback from people and make sure you're more prepared and things like that and there can be a how can we make sure that we pursue the things we want and not get paralyzed by needing to be perfect due to our fear of failure yeah yeah so that actually goes perfectly which is the third the third part of of chapter one which is what holds people back so there's identity there's or part one which is identity which is fears and then the purpose that people have and um there comes a point in your life where you have to realize that failure and and success are not different they're they're two sides of the same coin you know when you look at the creator of Honda said success is 99% failure like you you and I we've put out over a thousand podcast episodes I think I'm been like 13400 I think you're F 1500 right keep track we've had some flops right we we've done some things which are not the best we put out content that is not done really well but what it's really about is like you stop looking at the numbers and you say what's my purpose actually behind this thing my one of my very first mentors used to always say to me um you've got to get off yourself and you've got to get on purpose off yourself is thinking about all of your intellectual fears you know if we're talking about creating podcast episodes right because we're both podcasters if I don't want to start a podcast cuz afraid of my I work at a job and I'm afraid of Nancy and HR making fun of me for it right I could it's a fear of of failure it's a fear of judgment it's a fear of not being accepted kicked out of the tribe whatever it might be and so we can look at it that way and say well I'm not going to start because I'm afraid of people judging me or we and that's being on self I'm thinking about myself but if my purpose is like for me my purpose is I remember what it feels like I was 9 years old my dad was an alcoholic I remember him passing away when I was 15 from being alcoholic I remember the trauma that came from from it and I remember what it felt like to be an absolute suffering in my mind and it was hell and I I I would never want to go back there you couldn't pay me enough to go back to that moment but through years of working on myself and and trying to become better and coaching myself and reading books and going to courses and doing therapy and doing all of that I've gotten myself to a place where I can overcome things that become hard and I feel obligated to teach that to other people that is my purpose and my purpose is to have people not be in suffering that I was in at one point in time cuz I know what it feels like and I I hate that other people are in there and so I don't care what anyone else thinks about me because my purpose is so strong that it doesn't matter if somebody says this podcast sucks if it doesn't matter when I get a one-star review that people are like I love his content but I hate that he cusses and I'm like but that's authentically me right and so it sounds like when when people get in alignment with their purpose it doesn't matter what fears they might have or it doesn't matter what people what they're afraid of people saying them because when you're truly on purpose you're willing to risk making a fool of yourself being judged for failing because you care more about the purpose than that fear for sure 100% I care I care more about what and what's interesting about is like the fear that we have of oh I'm going to be judged if I put this out there if I do this thing there's such a small am of people that judge you or that will be there's such a small amount of haters in the world and there's such a huge amount of people who will actually say this is amazing this is great and so we we think there's going to be way more haters than there actually are there's such a small amount of haters and there's so there's a large amount of lovers that are out there in the world and a lot of people just don't start the thing that they really truly want to because they're afraid of just that one person that could possibly say something to that's true something something I think about a lot and this has helped me overcome any insecurity about putting something out or launching something or the fear of failure is really thinking about my future self and saying would my future self be proud that I didn't take the shot or more proud that I actually did take the shot I failed I learned something from it and it led to something even better after that failure or that loss and I don't think our future selves will ever think I'm proud of you for not taking a chance no I'm proud of you for having a dream and not going for it I'm proud for playing small and for shying away because you afraid of what a few people might think or say about you I'm proud of you way to go I don't think we our future sub would ever say that I don't think our you know uh a mentors would ever say you know what it was a good thing that you didn't go for it you didn't give it a try doesn't it doesn't matter if we succeed or win at everything we do but it's the effort of doing it I think is where we gain wide in ourselves so I think that's really cool that's also where confidence comes from like a lot of people will ask like how do I a lot of people ask how do I get confident right how do I build confidence in myself and they think I have to go do something and I have to succeed that's not necessarily the truth sometimes I think a lot of our confidence comes from feeling fear doing it anyways maybe not having the results that we actually wanted to but in turn looked at it and said I'm really proud that I showed up for myself yes and that builts confidence in you huge time when you show up for you that's big but a lot of people don't know what their purpose is or they feel like they have too many ideas too many passions and they don't know which direction to go so what have you discovered about how to discover or find your purpose at this stage of life and is there a formula you teach people yeah so there's there's a couple different things the the thing that I hear more than anything else is that most people don't know what their passions are they don't know what their purpose is uh more than I hear that I have too many of them I I heard a couple of that last night when I was when I was live and some people said that they they did have too many things that they could do but majority of people are like I don't know what my passion is I don't know what my purpose is and then I ask them I'm like well how often do you do something new and they're like not very often and I was like so so here's the the key to it is it's okay right now if someone's listening not to know what their purpose is it's okay to not know what their passion is but it is not okay to not wake up every single day and not be in constant pursuit to find what that passion is if you don't know what it is and so if it's that takes trying new things of course you have to try a ton of new things like for instance my wife ring out things you don't like yeah exactly and and try things and be like oop that didn't work I don't like that at all like you know for and and the other thing that's that's important to know about passion and purpose is that your passion doesn't have to be your paycheck like you can look at people and see like I'm lucky enough you're lucky enough that we're so passionate about this and we happen to be paid from it that's amazing like that's by the grace of God the best thing that's ever happened to me right but there's other things where it's like some people like I really enjoy riding horses and how do I make money off of horses how do I make them my passion I was like you don't necessarily have to make money off of it but maybe you start going well you know what I like to do I like to take my horses and I like to teach people that are in the inner city how to ride horses or I like to teach people who have um have uh maybe psychological symptoms and they have anxiety or bipolar and I've learned that horses end up calming them down in some sort of way and you decide that you want to help them it doesn't mean you have to make money off of it but I always say if you found something that you love so much why don't you try to spend as much of your time doing it and so if it is this horses thing and maybe you make like five brand a year of horses or maybe it cost you more money can you have a job that you at least somewhat enjoy not hate but you somewhat enjoy but it gives you enough free time to do the thing that you actually makes you feel alive and so people always say like well how do I find those things I think my personal belief is I think that that God the universe speaks to you through energy of the energy that we feel doing something like when I get done with this podcast I am going to 100% have more energy than when we first start the podcast cuz this is what actually makes me feel alive like I feel the most alive doing this and so I think a lot of people need to think like where's the most energy for me where do I have the most curiosity to try to learn something what would I what would I do even if it didn't make me any money like I would still I mean for years I didn't make money off of the podcast or anything that I did right you do because you loved it hundreds of podcast episodes before I made a dollar off of it right just because I love learning about people I'm obsessed with Neurology I'm obsessed with learning about like sitting down with someone be like why is Louis way that he is I want to know about his mom I want to know about his dad I want to make connections and put this puzzle piece together of this person and so it's like it gives me energy to meet people and find out what's going on and where they come from and how they became that yeah I was interviewing um someone yesterday her name was Jenna Zoe and she had a curiosity and a love for this thing called human design which is about understanding kind of your your not personality type but your energy type right based off of when you bored and exactly and she was she had another business or she was working in the food industry creating something around food and it wasn't really succeeding but she loved doing this other thing on the side for years like reading people's charts and like really helping them identify their energy type and making sure are you in alignment with what you should be doing and just supporting them in that that creation of life and she did that for years and you know she didn't make any money for a long time then she made a little bit of money but she enjoyed it so much that eventually she's like why don't I just try doing more of this and see if I can make money after five six seven years and eventually started making money then said you know what okay now I'm going to go all in on this it doesn't have to be all in right away or you don't have to monetize something you're enjoy right away maybe the timing will come later like it did with you in some ways as well and maybe if you lean into the Curiosity and just keep doing that on the side or the weekends with your horses eventually you could make money sure maybe you can maybe you can but finding the time to to dive into things that you love more I think it's always going to help you you know what I found that kind of goes with that too that's important is that people want to start something and they think they should be like making a bunch of money in three months I found that for the majority of people who I met that have become like something like big and they've been able to do something very successful it takes at least five years 5 to seven is pretty average before it like really starts to take off I don't know if it's like the universe testing us to be like do you actually want this CU you better keep on this path but I think the path of Mastery is something that I like really love like I have my first tattoo is a Roman numeral for 10,000 because I love the 10,000 hour rule it's on my wrist right here so I see it every single day and um I just love the idea of mastering something and I think that if we just we find something that we're kind of interested in that seems interesting that seems fun and we start putting energy into it we start getting better at it it's like Tony Robins always says progress equals happiness when you feel like you're progressing towards something not making money but just progressing towards something it makes you feel good and you want to keep doing it right and you fast forward 5 years or seven years and you've become one of the Masters of that thing that's usually when people can write a book about something they can start on podcast they can grow a following on it and that's usually where they can start to monetize yeah you got to have some type of skill set or some type of Mastery maybe you're not the master but you've mastered a part of it and you'll start to attract more financial opportunities that way yeah uh but one of the things I feel like holds people back from discovering their purpose tapping into their purpose taking action on their purpose is the old character they've been playing for so long you talk about this in your identity chapter you know they've been holding on to an identity that has been developed for them that isn't in their highest best way right it's been the way Society wants parents kids whatever might be how can we get the courage to eventually kill off the parts of ourselves that are no longer serving us for a highest sense of purpose yeah um have you ever seen the uh the documentary Jim and Andy on Jim car yes so incredible it is incredible right so everyone should watch it so Jim car is amazing he did the movie The Man on the Moon like in 1999 and Andy Kaufman right he was playing Andy Kaufman right so he was playing Andy Kaufman and he's a method actor which means that he had to literally become him and he had to play him all day long for three or four months straight uh to the point where even his driver said when he would pick him up in Hollywood and drive him home he would still be Andy caufman in the car on the way home he'd be Andy caufman on the way home or on the way to go and shoot every single day the crazy part about it though that Andy caufman also played other characters so Andy Coffman was also Tony Clifton which is a whole other character and so he would if if they stopped shooting and he was Tony Clifton he would go home and be Tony Clifton and so he was Andy Kaufman some days he was Tony Clifton some days he was never Jim Carrey in those three or four months and it's really interesting when you watch it because the people who are like they were in taxi with him and they they were on the show where like he was almost indistinguishable like he was the closest thing to Andy Kaufman I've seen since Andy Kaufman to the point where even his daughter Andy coffman's daughter went ined sessions like almost like mini therapy sessions sitting down with Jim Carrey as Andy Kaufman as being her dad that's crazy crazy right and so what's crazy about it though is that when it ended he said he forgot who Jim Carrey was like he literally forgot he there's a point where he the there was that song um I think it was RM did the song Man on the Moon they're like can you be you know we're going to shoot the the the the video the music video for it can you be Andy Coffman and he's like I don't think I can he's like cuz I lost my s so much in that role that when it ended I forgot what I liked I forgot what I didn't like I forgot my belief systems I forgot everything about who Jim Carrey was and the quote that he says and it's actually in the book is I realize if I could lose Jim Carrey so easily then was Jim Carrey and he realized it was just another character that he was playing in his life he was waking up and unconsciously every morning deciding to be Jim Carrey and he was being that person and if you've seen like the spiritual awakening he's gone on in the past like 20 years that was the beginning of it because he lost his identity you forgot who he was and it shows you that it's like our our identity is just something we're choosing to be every single day and we can look at parts of ourselves and we can say do I like this aspect of myself do I not like this aspect of myself so like there's aspects of myself that I like there's aspects of myself that I that I don't like and I've changed over years like one of the things that was the hardest for me was you know with my father not being around my mom working a lot is I don't feel like I really felt a safe space of love when I was a kid I didn't feel like it was just there in omnipresent like my wife you know her mom and dad are still together she's got her two sisters they're all really close we we were never really close so I never really had that and so we've been together now for 10 years in the first couple years she was way more loving and I couldn't open up to the love like it was hard for me to because I felt uncomfortable like my nervous system was like what's going on this person's too close to me it almost didn't feel safe for you cuz it was unfamiliar 100% even though it should be the safest feeling in the world right you're like also afraid of it you want it but you don't want it and so it was like me me noticing different aspects of myself like I'm not as loving as I think I probably truly am or what I could be so let me that was a part of me I didn't like and so I was like how do I open myself up to be a little bit more loving which is hard because you know opening yourself up to be vulnerable allows you to and be vulnerable especially when you love somebody allows you to be really hurt especially when you've gone through heartbreaks and you've been you know if you've been heartbroken cheated on divorces all these things that people could have I think it really comes down to how we try to have the courage to do it is that uh it's funny cuz I I lit have two tattoos and I'm referencing both of the tattoos so the only other tattoo that I have is a is a tattoo on my arm um when I was first starting the podcast I was really nervous and when I was I left my job where I was making like a quarter million dollars a year and I was like I'm going to do this thing I don't know why it just feels right like the feelings felt right and um I was really fearful and I was like I might go back to work for someone else and my sister comes out I went home and uh I was back for Thanksgiving uh in 2015 the year I started the podcast and she goes hey have you ever seen these Bo this box from Dad of dad's stuff and I was like none my dad had passed away you know 14 years ago at that point and um there were these you know uh it was like a t-shirt of his it was his glasses and there was these letters my dad was in jail for a little while and he wrote letters to us and he wrote a letter to my sister on her 20th birthday which was a year before he passed away in the very end of the letter it says I hope you live your life with courage 11 laughter and I read it and I was like this is actually speaking to me cuz I'm in so much fear right now that I'm going to go back to work for someone else and literally throw my passion away and I took my dad's handwriting exact handwriting it's on the inside of my arm right here yeah it's on the inside of my AR that's cool you want to see it I'll I do anybody that's on YouTube so it says live your life with curs love and laughter it's simply exact handw wred and it's the end of that that letter it's it says courage love and laughter right which if you think about it I was in so much fear I was in so much fear that I was about to give up my entire passion and everything that I felt like I was born to do because I just wanted to go back to what was safe and I think everybody feels it and it's like when you feel fear we're always like what's a hack the only hack is you're going to have to get yourself to a point where be like I have to do this or else I'm not going to be able to create the life that I really truly want right and my biggest fear like I have I have fears of course I'm just a normal person but my biggest fear like I remember Louis I remember sitting the first person who I ever knew that that passed away was my dad nobody i' had ever known that that had passed away before I remember flying up we had we had flown up to go see him and he was still in the hospital at the time there he was unconscious we were flying to go see him and by the time we got to the airport we got the news that he had already passed away so I went up there to go see somebody ended up being going there for a funeral and so we were in this tiny little room and we were viewing it the casket and he was in the casket and we were on this this this sofa that was right there and it was my myself my grandmother which was his mom my mom my sister the four of us are just sitting there and I was looking at him and my dad was a dreamer and he was an amazing person but he had a lot of demons that that that he had in his life his father killed himself and he walked in the room and saw it right after it happened so he had demons that he just didn't overcome and he was a dreamer he was an amazing person but I remember looking at him at 15 and being like this guy had so much potential and he didn't follow his potental he didn't he did I know that he didn't create the life that he probably would have wanted to and I was like that will not become my life it will never become my life in any sort of way and so can I feel fear of course I can feel fear but at some point you've got to decide am I going to live a life that's full of fear or am I going to start being more courageous and live a life that's courageous because we all have a choice and we could go one way or we could go the other but really what it comes down to is like I I I know I'll be ridiculed for putting stuff out there I know that people are going to bash different things that I put out there but it's more for me of like what feels right in my heart is what I'm going to follow and I think that's what people should think of is like where do I have energy what some people are like i' I'm 45 years old I've been in this job I went to college for this I'm like you could live to you know 90 years old you're halfway through your life and you're going to live the rest of the 45 years doing something that you don't want simply because you went down the wrong path for a little while yeah and so I think you get you just got to get to a point where you realize there's going to be fear that's omnipresent it's always going to be there it's just the way that we are as humans you've just got to be courageous at some point in time yeah and you talk about your life won't change unless your identity changes yeah and there's a great quote from um Dr J spenza that says your personality is your personal reality and some people don't like to hear that because they don't want to change their personality yeah and it doesn't mean you're bad or wrong or good or right it just means what do you want to create in your life and if you want to have a better feeling and better experience and better life if you want to manifest and attract more you're going to have to think about your identity and your personality because that is creating the reality around you for sure it's it's either drawing things into you in a positive way or a negative way you're you're either magnetizing more bad things or you're magnetizing more good things yeah based on the choices you make around this so how do we how do we identify what our identity is what's working and what's not working for us and how do we start to change our identity to manifest yeah it's interesting so I I love talking about manifestation first off so I love that you're bringing it back up because I I didn't talk about manifestation the first part when you asked it but as far as manifestation goes I remember hear about the law of attraction like 2007 20 2007 2008 when the secret came out and I remember sitting there and being like all right so you're telling me that if I just say money's coming into me money's just going to come into me like that sounds like BS and I was at USF in college at the time and I was like there's no parking at USF I was like you know what I'm going to I'm going to manifest a parking spot and so the whole way is like a 25-minute drive I was like I'm going to get a parking spot I'm going to get a parking spot I'm going to get a parking spot it's going to be right up front and I literally pull in and someone's pulling out of the very front I'm like that's a fluke there's no way right that's that there's no way yeah definitely a coincidence right and um and what I've come to find is like people always like here's the steps to manifestation the way that I think of of in I I'll give you an example of manifestation I've told you this story is I was in uh I was in Rome in uh September and Laura and my wife was were sitting there and she's like so the podcast become this big thing like it's blown up what are you going to do like what's it going to become and I was like you know what I think I want to sign with like a a a bigger company and um she's like so what what do you want to do do you want to go with like Spotify and I was like well Spotify is great but the problem is I have to be Spotify exclusive she's like so what do you want and I was like I'll tell you what I want I want to sign with sirusxm and that's the company I think I'm going to and I know Lewis just signed with Sirus XM and I know that um I know that they're they're kind of going into a little bit of the personal velopment space I want to sign uh with Sirus sex time and she's like cool what would that look like I was like I don't know but I trust it's going to happen and I didn't talk to you like we had not you know like happy birthday whatever it was text messages you text me 12 hours later Le 12 hours later after I said I want to get into a conversation with sirusxm and you're like hey uh are you in a contract right now sirusxm wants to have a conversation and I was like Lauren look at my phone wow but I think the the key the key part of manifestation is not like I'm going to sit around and money is going to fly from all years at the universe or any of that stuff I think it's about alignment like so many people are out of alignment with what they truly want to do the way that I see life is pretty simple is I think if we were to put it into like an analogy we basically have this life path this this river right just imagine there's a river and um it's going to take us from one place to another and that's the Journey of life and some sort of way and I think most people what what they're doing is they're putting Boulders in that water and boulders are are limiting beliefs it's fears it's going down a life path and deciding to stay somewhere where they don't want to be it's staying with someone that they don't want to be with and if you've ever seen a river a river flows beautifully and usually people don't drown in rivers that are just flowing usually where people drown is when they're in rivers where there's a ton of white water and there's all of these Boulders that in your water and that's when it really starts to move fast so you you can drown in the white water and so I think is when you start to find like this place of alignment it's like the gentle flowing water and then things start coming to you and so it's like for me the amount of things that just like kind of happened you probably had this happen too like opportunities that come to you that are like I've been wanting this for a while and it came to me better and faster than I thought it was going to and I think it comes down to like are people actually in alignment what they truly want to do because I I believe personally that that all humans are here to create in some sort of way doesn't mean they have to create a podcast or create a social media could be you know create art it could be that they just create music and it flows out of them but so many people are creatively constipated where they just hold it all in because they might have been ridiculed at some point in time as a child they might have uh they're afraid of being judged in some sort of way and I think that every person needs to kind of find like what's your River what's what's the one thing that you can do that's that that is you cuz you don't want to be everybody else but like what's the one thing you can do that's completely you that feels the most authentic to you and I think that when you find that and you start actually speaking for what it is that you want it becomes really powerful and so there's a um like I really believe and I love that when I was at your event you had a huge thing that said I am and I I love I am because if you look at like I'm not I'm not religious in any sort of way I believe I I read the Bible and I read you know the bav Jay got me to read bav like in 2017 so I read that and there's a lot of things that I associate with it and um one of the things though when you look at the Bible like the only time when when when God actually comes and says God's name is says I am that I am and and you look at it and it's like I am is the only time that somebody that God comes in and speaks God's name and so I think that when we say I am we are tapping into like that infinite potential that that is inside of us but too often what we're not saying we're not saying I am we're saying I am not or saying I can't and we're literally closing the door of all of the opportunity that we could attract into our life and so when we say like I am going to be one of the best XYZ in the world I am going to be the best possible father that I can be I am you know if someone's afraid of oh I'm going to screw my children up I am going to be one of uh one of the most successful business women and one of the best Mothers that I could possibly beat and it literally I think that the point of attracting things can seem corny but I think that what happens is when you start to say I am and actually pull it in and you fully believe like I when I believe something I try to imagine all 40 trillion of my C saying yes we're on board we're going to go get this thing and so when you look at like the potential of a human being that that you have right I think that if I'm remembering the math correctly there's 40 trillion cells in your body every cell has about 1.4 volts inside of it would you if you do the math that's 70 trillion cells are 70 trillion volts inside of a human body the most powerful of energy potential energy is the key part right is potential energy so that's 70 trillion volts inside of a human body and I did and I looked it up what's the most powerful lightning that's ever been uh recorded it's 300 million volts and when you do the math 70 trillion divided by 300 million that means that potential energy inside of a human body 233333 times more powerful than a lightning bolt so if we could take in my mind if I could take all the potential energy in me and say I'm going to get this thing and there is no other reality where it exists where I don't get this thing that's where it kind of like the universe starts to get out of your way and say okay here's what you want right right but I think I think you got to start with the the command which is I am yeah this and then the command you need to make a decision because your identity has not been allowing you to attract what you've wanted so far or maybe it's taken a longer time than you wanted so you've got to say I am this you got to make that command and then you have to make a decision of which actions you're going to start taking differently to support this new commitment really this new commitment of identity of Personality that you want to step in yeah and and how often do people say I am and then the next thing that follows it is not powerful right where it's like oh I am uh I I am I'm not smart enough not good enough not not lovable and that's the majority of people are always saying I am and it usually follows what they don't want and so I think with with changing the identity is I am and switch it to the thing that you want and there might be like a BS meter of like but am I and you've got to start to actually physically believe it into yourself I was not confident before I started in sales years ago I was very shy I'm still really an introvert but as you start doing these hard things you start overcoming things doing things you didn't want to do you start becoming more confident in yourself and as you become more confident yourself you can start to speak into reality things that you want more of and I think that's the important part of manifestation is people can say oh there's all of these different things that you can do to manifest but I really think it comes down to like can you get your brain and your body on board to say this is what I'm going to be doing and if it's on alignment into life path you're supposed to be on and what feels right inside of you I think that's where people just naturally start attracting things what if someone has a story from their past from their history from their family from their lack that keeps them playing small how do they change the story so they they're not lying to themselves but they're empowering themselves with their story yeah well then it comes down to like affirmations right affirmations I used to think were super corny as well I'm like all right I'm just going to talk to myself and and I'm going to believe this um because a lot of times people are like okay I'm I'm broke I don't have any money I want to attract money I want want to to be somebody who has money and so they're like I'm going to create an affirmation around money and they sit there and they're like money is Flowing from all areas of the universe into my bank account immediately right and then and then you get you get done and you're like your BS meter is like no it's not dude you're broke you got negative $12 in your account right and there's the BS meter and so I when I take affirmations I say there's three parts that someone has to have number one is they got to be true one number two it's got to be present tense number three it's got to be empowering and so someone give me an example if someone's broke and they want more money how can they create a story a narrative a script or a story that will Empower them to attract more I am committed today to working off to make more money I am committed to taking the actions necessary to make more money in my bank account in the future I am committed to uh losing 40 pounds over the next 12 months even though I've never done it before I'm going to change the person who I am to make sure that I do that and so it's not about like sitting there and you know meditating and just imagining the money coming into your bank account it's how can you make a true present tense and empowering today I am committed to taking the action I need to in order to make more money in my bank today I am committed to making the action I need to to make my children feel like I love them to make them feel more loved that I maybe haven't been giving them over the past couple years because I've been so busy working right and so it's it's literally about how can you make it true empowering in present tense because when it's when it's true like you might not have money in your bank account right now but I will take the action today day to eventually bring more money into my bank account because usually money doesn't immediately come to you usually it's like a lagging indicator of how of the actions you've taken in the past so today I'm going to take the actions I I need to knowing that the money will be coming to me at some point in time what do you think causes people to stay in procrastination mode for long periods of time what is that that reason they stay in procrastination yeah so when I look at procrastinating I remember I was talking with one of my one of my sales people and and we were talking about this lady and he's like well I was like so what was her problem when you had the when you had the sales call and she he the problem he said was she she procrastinates too much and I said that's not the problem and what's the problem and he's like what do you mean and I was like the problem is not procrastination the problem is a symptom of a cause it's and so it's like it's it's like for instance it's the downstream effect of something else procrastination is is always almost always the downstream effect of identity or fear and that's really what it comes down to is the reason why you're procrastinating is because you either don't think that you can do it or you procrastinate because you you're afraid of something else that's coming in the future if I were to be able to like if we had a light switch on the side like a little switch on the side of our head and we could turn off like our amydala of like and the thing that creates fears in our brain and we just say okay I have no fear I can just take action everybody would have the life that they want to they wouldn't be nobody would procrastinate right and so it really comes down to that that's the first thing is is the the fears and identity and the other thing is the reason why somebody's doing something and so like one of my things when I give a lot of talks I used to love doing this is I would say you know you go into a company and everyone makes like 4050 $75,000 a year $100,000 a year and I would sit in front of people and I would say everybody here what is the percent this is very drastic I know everybody who's listening but this is very drastic for you're able to hear right I would say hey what's the percentage chance of you making a million dollars the in the next 12 months and everyone would be like 0% 0% I I would say I would say legally too million dollar legally like not going sell drugs but a million dollar legally in the 12 months and people would be like 0% 0% 1% 2% there'd always be like one person who really believes himself they're like 5% and I said okay let me change it up just a little bit what's the percentage chance of you making a million dollars this year and if you don't everyone that you love dies everybody goes a th% 100% 100% 100% And I said hold on then the time frame didn't change the goal didn't change what changed is that you actually care you actually have a why behind it in in I would say would you ever Pro if your if your children's life if your wife's life your mother's life depended on it would you procrastinate no you wouldn't you would just do what needs to be done because the fear of losing them is greater than the fear of being judged or the fear of failure and so I think that procrastination is never the problem it's always the downstream effect of something else which is either they don't have a why that's strong enough their identity is holding them back from thinking that they can't be a person that can achieve it or they have too many that are just holding them back from take yeah I think you got to have the why that's strong enough is the is the main thing because you know whether it's a million dollars or H 100,000 or whatever the number is you know do you first off do you want that thing bad enough and why do you want it if it's the million dollars as an example why do you need that and why can't you be happy with where you're at or you know whatever it might be and do you need that to impress people or is it because you have a greater purpose you want to use that money for right because you want to build a company you want to empower people you want to donate it so you have to understand why you want something and be clear that it's not just serving ego but it's serving something greater than you I think that's when the river opens up yep and it widens and all the boulders go away when you say I want this thing for me but also so I can serve or Empower others for sure then it's like in the Mississippi you know it's like it's wide this is the biggest river there is and um but when it's only for you I feel like later down the line you're going to hit a dam of course you are you might attract what you want but then eventually get blocked up because it's all about you as opposed to about others including you yeah and you can you can make money when it's all about you yes many people do it doesn't mean you're going to be happy right that's usually the problem right because you get to a point I mean how many this is what what I really think about all the time is that how many successful people and it's so sad get to being ridiculously successful and then commit suicide like there's there's many that have done it and so you know there could be mental health issues to that but I think a lot of them think when I get to the top of the mountain then I'll finally be happy but it's it's always about like it's not the top of the mount it's not the the the destination that's going to make you happy it's about finding your happiness and the journey to get you to where you want to be yeah and if someone's like I want to make money for me you can definitely do it there's there's definitely people in this world that do that but what I found that was really surprising to me is that some of the most successful people I know are the most giving people I know and it's almost as if God of the universe has been like hey I trust you because I've seen that you're a good Steward of this money you're a good Steward of of what I've been giving to you I'm going to give you more of it like let's talk about money real quick because I that I think is important is Mo this is this is a way I like to give it as an analogy right let's say you have a toy and you have two different children right you have child a and you give them like a red toy truck and he's like red I hate red this is blue like this is my favorite color is blue and it's like trucks I don't even like trucks I like cars and you're like well I don't have any other toy and he's like fine and he goes and plays with it and he mess with it and he slams it into other toys and and complains about how it's not the one that he wanted and then when it's time to go eat he lives his toys all over the place right say that's child a child B might be the exact blue might be their favorite color red red uh um sorry blue might be their favorite color and they might like cars more than they like trucks right but you give it to him and he says thank you and he goes and plays with it he plays with it nicely and he and when another kid comes up he shares oh can I play with your toy yeah here you go and the other kid was like the kid comes up he's like no this is my truck right he's like yeah you can play with it then when it comes time to go to dinner they take their toys and they put them away if you had the option the next time you have a toy who would you give it to right you'd give it to the kid who took care of it right was grateful appreciated it shared it took care of it was a good Steward of it now imagine we flip that and God is the one who has the toy the toy is money and it's either your person a or your person B most people when they get their paycheck I was this person for years I get my paycheck be like it's still not enough it's not it's not enough and I'm literally from the moment I see my paycheck bringing in negative energy towards money and I'm like it's still not enough it's not as much as I want I don't know if I can pay my bills with this this is crap and then what do I do I share it with anybody I don't give anybody that money and I hoard it do I take care of it no I I complain about I don't have enough I don't enjoy it I don't share it I waste it I buy stupid stuff and then you see on the other side someone who gets their paycheck and this is a big thing that I changed in myself like seven years ago anytime that I would get a payment because what's cool about you know building Business Online is you can get payments at random times I would get a payment and I realized that I was for the longest time child a I would complain about not have enough money I might the amount of times my my bank account was overdrafted over like I didn't even have I didn't even have zero dollars I had negative dollars in my bank account many times in my life you know and I switched it to every time I started seeing a payment come in I would go close my eyes and I would say I'd see the person's name and I would say John thank you so much God thank you so much for bringing this into my life I hope that I can make some sort of transformation and I just just wanted to bring that energy to it and then I started changing to try to be more like child B where then I started sharing it more and I realized that the more that I share it the more that I'm grateful for it the more that I take care of it the more that I learn about how to be smart with my money The more I've been trusted with more and I think that's the difference is that most people go on the path of child a and I was there for a very long time and I went to child B which is I'm going to be grateful for whatever comes in if I see a penny on the floor I'm going to pick it up because if if if I can't be trusted with little I can't be trusted with a lot I'm going to pick it up I'm going to put it in my pocket I'm going to say thank you for giving me this universe I appreciate it I appreciate the small amounts I appreciate the big amounts because I'm going to appreciate the small amounts the big amounts I'm going to share it whenever I can share it and I'm going to try to be the best Steward of my money that I can and what's crazy is it just like you said it's like the the river just widened because there was now more space for me to be able to be a good Steward for it if you're looking to level up and get focused stop procrastinating and upgrade your life make sure you get a copy of this book from my man rob dial um you can get it it's out right now make sure to grab a copy follow you on all of the places on social media at robd Jr rob.com also uh your podcast is one of the biggest personal development podcasts out there make sure you guys check out mindset Mentor uh podcast as well and uh what else can we do to support you today man that's it man I'm just here to serve you know if people want to if people want to listen to podcast there's 1300 episodes if they want to read the book they can read the book there's I'm all over the place wherever you like to consume content I'm there you can find me and uh and hopefully I can serve people it's a lot of great content man and you have so many great uh chapters and exercises in here so I want people to make sure to go through this different prompts different things like that to help them overcome the things that are keeping them from the life they want so make sure you guys get this copy of level up couple final questions for you this one's called the three truths imagine it's your last day on Earth you've accomplished and achieved everything you want but it's time for you to go you get to live as long as you want but it's the last day and for whatever reason you got to take all of your work with you every piece of content is gone this book is gone everything you've ever done the 1300 episodes gone um and all you get to do is work so hard for all this stuff it's all G to go eventually anyways you know but all you get to do is is share is three lessons to the world three things you know to be true from your existence um and we don't have any other content of yours except for these three truths what would you share with the world the first one that comes into my mind is love is all the matters I think that's all that really matters it's I don't know how it works but the the older I get the more I start to learn it I think that love is actually the only thing that matters I used to think that it was success and money and all that stuff made me happy but I've I've realized that what I was really searching for when I thought I wanted to be uh stable and financially stable was emotional stab stability which I I think my wife has has helped me feel and bring to me and go ah this is what I've been searching for my whole life right like I've I've wanted this so I think I think Love is All That Matters I think that that goes along with that as well is um be kind to everyone that you meet because I think there's uh there's so many people going through so many things you know like if you think about the guy that you were talking about that committed suicide like he could what you had no idea and you were just pass some you seemed like he was okay and stuff when you see people like Robin Williams who are like one of the lights of the world commit suicide it's like you never actually truly know what someone's going through and there's a lot of people that that look like they have it together but inside they just really need somebody else and so I think that's a really big piece to it and um and I think the last one that's that's important is and it's so cliche and I didn't get it like really get it until probably two years ago is uh the destination doesn't matter it's all about the journey and I I've heard it so many times but it never actually fully hit to me is you know in this this journey of personal development I've always wanted to be done like I've always wanted to be done with my fear and done with my my issues and my traumas and I've come to realized that I don't think I'll ever get there but I think that I'll just have tools to be able to work through them if it comes back up again and so I think that what I've come to realize is that when I want to get there it causes more cause more conflict internally and when I can say you know what you fell off the path again like you're the path of being a human is losing yourself and finding yourself again and then losing yourself and finding yourself and hopefully when you get lost you get better at finding yourself quicker uh the more that you do it and so I've come to realize that it's it's there is no destination to get to and if I can just learn to go all right you screwed up again all right Hey listen I still love you for for for doing what you've done I love you for the awareness that you have that you now have understood that this is this is you've gotten yourself out of this thing quicker than you used to it used to be a week that you were in misery now it's it's just two hours that you're here and I think it's just enjoying the journey and not uh feeling like the destination is something that we need to be getting to powerful man um one final question for you want people to check out level up yes but I want to acknowledge you before the final question Rob for having courage love and laughter in your life and allowing it to come in and it sounds like with your wife you've allowed healing to occur as well oh yeah you've allowed this last 10e journey to to heal and to not just drive for success but also for significance and to feel love deeply and there's no coincidence that that's what's on your your arm courage love and laughter and love matters was the first truth for you so I acknowledge you for living into that and ottering this current identity of Courage love and laughter in your life Man Yeah final question what's your definition of greatness you think I'd remember remember that you were going to ask these questions like I've heard your podcast before and I completely forgot these are coming um I think the definition of greatness is loving yourself for where you currently are while still striving to be a more evolved version of yourself tomorrow I think that's what it comes down to it's not about being better tomorrow because when you're better tomorrow it implies that you're worse today I think it just it's I love myself as I currently am knowing that I'm evolving myself into a better version of myself every day in the pursuit to do that there you go rob D my man thanks brother yeah thank you Rob I got a PTI in Psychology I did a year-long clinical internship I worked on a psychiatric ward that is not and I knew from the word go that that was not where I would end up it just uh but you got people they're drawn to that and that's a a wonderful thing about the world the difference

Channel: Lewis Howes

Views: 105,478

Keywords: Lewis Howes, Lewis Howes interview, school of greatness, self help, self improvement, self development, personal development, success habits, success, wealth, motivation, inspiration, inspirational video, motivational video, success principles, millionaire success habits, how to become successful, success motivation

Id: SPvd1XsvIRY

Length: 54min 50sec (3290 seconds)

Published: Wed Oct 18 2023