Divorce lawyers what's the most insane way a spouse has tried to screw the other? - (r/AskReddit)

our slash ass credit divorce lawyers of Reddit what is the most insane evil funny dumb where spouse has tried to screw the other had a client whose wife wanted him out of the house I told him not to leave just move to a different bedroom for the time being because once he was out the chances of him ever get him back it was slim he texted his wife and told her he was staying in the house she called back and left a VM that she wanted him out and if he wasn't out soon she would start taking out her unhappiness on the children and would remind the children that Mommy was being mean to them because daddy wouldn't leave I work for a divorce attorney now but the craziest thing came to my attention when I worked for the prosecuting attorney this couple was breaking up and mr. left the house missus went to work the next morning as usual when she returned home in the evening she found mr. had been to the house and removed his clothing and belongings as she expected what she didn't expect was that he had also gorilla glued her belongings together he glued the TV remote to the table the phone to its cradle the couch pillows to the couch and even glued the vacuum cleaner to the carpet she called the police and reported this as property damage the police went with her through the house documenting dozens of items glued to various things but for days she was discovering random things and she would call to amend or update her report my GD oven mitts were glued to the wall or he glued the effing sheets together in the linen closet I've seen people do and say really awful things to each other but that was diabolical this one hits close to home because it happened between my parents we had a family friend who was a lawyer and my parents agreed that he would be the lawyer for both of them as a mediator yes so as the assets were being divided my dad got absolutely slammed she was going to get the house cars half his retirement and an insane amount of alimony to the tune of like $2,500 a month for the rest of her life my dad has a good job as a municipal employee but that was probably 70% ish off his paycheck turns out that my mom and the family friend actually conspired to rip my dad off and make it seem like that what or settlement looks like and she was going kick back more money under the table after the dust had settled dad just didn't know how these things worked so after some convincing he finally went out and got his own lawyer he got a very fair divorce settlement after that mum still to this day can't understand why we don't talk to her much how about a wholesome insane one Ian all but this was told to me by my mum regarding the divorce she got from my dad they couldn't settle on an alimony amount mum and her lawyer came in with a number dad countered with a number they couldn't agree because my dad thought my mom should get twice the amounts in alimony she was asking for and my mum didn't want my dad to give her that much money for months it took months for them to settle on a figure that appeased both of them even then my mom puts aside the extra above what she wanted in case my dad ever has a financial emergency and my dad puts aside the extra she didn't want in case my mom ever has a financial emergency the funny thing is they don't know the other is putting the money aside for the other my mum told me about her emergency stash and my dad told my brother about his emergency stash bro and I discussed it while talking about what nut jobs our parents are edit I've gotten a lot of support for this response thank you I'm not going to say that their divorce was perfect it wasn't there was still some hurt feelings and resentment from all parties involved however my parents for all their flaws both accepted their own responsibilities for the falling apart I think it helps that they still love each other deeply they just weren't in love anymore they have been friends since my mom was 2 and my dad was 3 started dating when mom was 12 and dad was 13 they separated at the ages of 49 and 50 it makes sense that they grew apart I've had a few people ask why they divorced in the first place my dad had had a girlfriend for at least 15 years possibly longer my mom knew but they agreed to not divorce until my younger brother had graduated high school my dad got remarried to his girlfriend my mum has also since remarried all for revenge along famously now the separation and divorce happened about ten years ago I'm very lucky to have four parents who care about me and who absolutely adore my own little Deutz worked at an airport big burly guy brings an ugly-ass dog in a crates of the counter he is clearly misty-eyed turns out wife got the dog in the divorce and he has descended to her and she told him as soon as she gets it she is putting it down he asks if he can have some time with the dog before the flight so they go out in the grass and they both roll around in the grass dog's tail just wagon away not knowing anything about his future the guy puts him back in the crate drops him off the counter says thanks and then just walked out hair down and just looking crushed that was 30 years ago and I still remember it like it was yesterday divorce lawyer here spouse had been out of the house for weeks she waited until he was on a business trip came into the house turned on all of the faucets plugged the drains turned off the furnace and left it was minus 10 degrees he came back five days later the house was ruined the water frozen cracked the foundation divorce lawyer accusing their former spouse of forcing them into prostitution text messages revealed they were actually just swingers she also admitted to lying in order to make him burn I can't wait to leave my practice area edit I just wanted to clarify some points and answer some questions please excuse any of my clerical errors as I'm writing on my phone first this is not the most evil thing I have seen so far in practice it's just one of the things that sticks out in recent memory second in my experience women don't have an unfair advantage or get away with things more than men the reason this individual was not held in contempt was because judges have an incredible amount of discretion and they tend to exercise their discretion sparingly unless someone is making a fuss in the media or publicly lying in order to ruin someone's life the court avoids exercising their discretion to punish individuals in a divorce context the reason courts are hesitant to impose penalties or hold someone in contempt is because the majority of lying there happens in my experience comes from victims who shield their abusers lots of men women and children say things and then recant their testimony in order to stay in abusive relationships or save themselves and their families from threats of violence or at allegation victims need to feel safe to tell the truth having penalties gives the court a stick and having discretion gives the quarter carat ultimately we all want the truth and holding someone in contempt or threatening to hold someone on contempt is one mechanism that helps us uncover the truth finally women men judges commissioners and lawyers are all human beings I've met humans act like monsters and I've met angels dressed as humans my sincerest hope is that we treat others the way we would want to be treated and remember that we all make mistakes yes I charge for my services and my duty is to serve my clients to the best of my ability some clients just want it all to end while others want to fight over the key chain they bought at Walmart five years ago if that key chain means a lot to my client I explain how much that key chain will actually cost them in the end and let them decide of it's worth it I have met attorneys who dragged out litigation to run-up fees however any attorney worth their salt is consulting with their clients and actively trying to bring about a speedy fair resolution I'm going to school to be a vet assistant my teacher is a veterinarian she told us on Monday she's had clients bring their animals in to be euthanized so their spouse couldn't have them smdh is it even ducting legal yes it is it isn't ethical though most vets take their oaths seriously too long didn't we my client spouse accused him of giving his deceased wife cancer I represented a guy who was on his second marriage his first wife passed away from cancer he and his kids were obviously devastated my client was a pretty sensitive guy with a big heart his second wife could be very charming which was why he fell for her but it was all a facade anyway to make a long story about a lengthy divorce short my client met a very kind in effect Genet woman during his case they really hit it off and were basically engaged even though his divorce was far from over the fiancee started having health problems and was diagnosed with a form of terminal cancer somehow the second wife found out about this and tried to use the cancer diagnosis against my client in court she developed this crazy theory that my client had killed his first wife by giving her cancer and that he was doing the same thing to his fiancee the second wife's attorney who was quite good refused to be a party to it the attorney never addressed the argument in court and didn't even ask the second wife any questions about a during testimony rather the attorney informed the judge that the second wife wished to address the court directly about an issue the judge allowed her to do so in a highly irregular move the second wife told her crazy conspiracy theory to the judge adding that she was certain my client had tried to give her cancer at some point as well I wish I had an artist's rendering of the scene capturing the second wife's crazy eyes her attorneys look of shame embarrassment the judges look of confusion on way and my look of awe inspired disgust my uncle's ex tried to work it in that she would get half of whatever my grandmother would leave him when she passes jokes on her my grandmother is passing over her kids not maliciously my uncle is very well off and so is my mom and leaving everything to my brother and me Oh also tried to get sole custody of both of their children who are in their twenties friend was going through divorce from insane husband he had been texting her pics of the gun he bought and threatening her police were called nothing they could do because it was only a picture he was staying with a secret girlfriend at this point she allowed him to go get his stuff from the house she was scared to go back in the house alone I went with her first red flag was he had changed the locks so we waited for locksmith to open the house and change the locks again well when the door opens we noticed all of the furniture was gone so we carefully went upstairs and searched of her cats the entire second floor was empty no cats no furniture even her clothes were gone come to find out he hired a moving company to pack and take everything even the food in the fridge finally found the cats he had taken them to another vet in town and put them up for boarding under his sister's name thinking she would not be able to find them he was finally forced to disclose what happened to her possessions he had them taken to a storage unit far away from the home I read one where in the settlement there was shared custody of a parrot neither were allowed to teach the parrot to swear at the other one paralegal fell divorce lawyer this one is morbid we represented a guy who believed vehemently that his wife was assaulting the children the authorities were involved Child Services was involved it was never clear what the truth was or if anything at all was going on but our client was sure he shot his wife dead after custody exchange in front of the children he then sat down and waited for the authorities we visited him in jail with his criminal defense attorney as we were leaving he told me well I guess the divorce is over now and he laughed this was the first time I had ever been speechless edit this has gotten a lot of responses I can't really reveal details or context here but I can safely say that defending this action as heroic or understandable is an incorrect take away there are no heroes ere the trauma this man put the children through his incredibly selfish regardless of his intentions there are so many other options that could have been explored many of which were being explored when this happened he abruptly put an end to all of them making the truth forever impossible to discern edit - where are they now the children are in the custody of a family member they are safe and well although will no doubt need extensive therapy as they get elder guy is in jail I'm unsure of his final sentence however I doubt he will ever leave edit 3 what did the kids say forensic interviews are super confidential and this case didn't have the chance to go to a hearing however after multiple interviews with both children and the pair it's neither the police Child Services guardian ad litem or child advocate recommended that the mother lose custody or visitation nor did they require it to be supervised all of these matters were ongoing when the mother died I was an assistant for a family law practice not a lawyer so it was already a disaster of a divorce because the ex-husband was a dog but it got so much worse when the wife started dating someone new with a severe cat allergy likely year after they split up her psycho ex bought a cat on his time with the kids except he's not allowed pets at his apartment he sends the kids back to their mom's house with a cat and all its stuff mom is pissed because she didn't want a cat at all plus her boyfriend is crazy allergic she calls us asking what to do because her kids are bawling saying that she can't get rid of their new sibling and she has the cat in the garage ex told kids if mommy loves you she'll let you keep the cast since daddy is not allowed cats at his house not my divorce but my divorce lawyer told me about a case she was involved in where both clients were so petty that they had to all meet to argue over literally every single scrap of everything the final object that neither would settle and was a ceramic rabbit statue a really generic one from Home Depot or whatever zero sentimental value but since it was the final item neither side wanted to lose the last thing and they dragged it out over three separate meetings for this one thing I don't remember which ended up getting it but once they settled it and signed everything the winning party stuck it on their lawyers desk as a gift and walked out she accused her ex husband of sexually molesting their children while under the watchful eye of the nationally endorsed social workers who oversaw his contact with them which was only required because he didn't have his own private accommodation at the time she also said that his Indian flat nuts were inherently dirty after the obviously false child molestation suggestion I warned her of the consequences of being caught lying about that that's his permanent loss of custody she fired me but kept calling back using fake names to try and obtain free advice which contradicted my advice but everyone she called immediately spotted her this was a long time ago and now I specialized in insurance litigation which is far less ugly I see a lot of unsubstantiated accusations of child abuse and/or molestation to deteriorate the relationship between dad and the kids and we all hire experts and therapists and there will be an investigation we'll have depositions and a trial and after a year has passed without dad being allowed to see his children and thousands and thousands of dollars have been spent it will come out that nothing happened this happens in my practice about once or twice a year very commonly paralegal for a divorce lawyer here our client told us he didn't clear out the marital account after the parties filed which technically is true because while he removed forty five thousand dollars he left about three dollars and fifty cents in there I'm not a divorce lawyer but my prior employer once was served with an obviously forged garnishment order from an employee's ex-wife directing garnishment of his wages in an amount that far exceeded his actual wages we reported it to the police department as soon-to-be-ex-husband left his wife's prized quarter died on the doorstep of their house apparently the value of these fish six in total was over $100,000 she was according to her lawyer so distraught that she couldn't be in court only in LA what the dark is this not destruction of livestock property and animal abuse Koya really long-lived fish and can become a bit friendly to edit I was quite rightly reminded that posting about an active file even anonymously and on generic terms is bad practice so I removed that I had one client who was controlling their spouse by keeping them addicted to meth I fired them my boss had a client who well after we fired them set themselves in their child on fire rather than give up custody II a few people have asked if the above was a specific case I am ethically prohibited from confirming or denying but this is sadly not a very unique event there are lots of reported and unreported instances none of these are that funny I apologize so here's my funny story on the stand my client and the other lawyers client each spent about an hour saying I'm not lying they're lying then calling the other a beach a-hole goof you name it often using that phrase exactly at one point one of them was cautioned by the judge for swearing and said duck sorry the judge decided they were both not credible I worked at a computer repair store as a sales technician had a guy come in with a desktop that he wanted windows reinstalled I asked him if he wanted me to backup all of his data first and he told me that he had everything he wanted and just did a why'd I put it in the queue and he paid and left I started it about an hour later since an XP install was only about 45 minutes off the network I didn't bother doing anything else except deleting the original partition and making a new one and installing Windows about an hour after that his wife came running and asking if we had a computer with Smith as the last name I told her I did and she showed me her it and said that her husband brought it in to try and destroy all the proof of him cheating and stealing money from their business when she asked if I had wiped everything yet I told her I just did a Windows install and didn't actually really wipe anything I called her husband and told him the situation I told him his wife was here to get the computer he asked me if I reinstalled Windows like we spoke about and I told him I had he told me I don't give a [ __ ] give her the computer there isn't anything left on it anyway I said all rights and hung up I told her that he said I could give it to her and then explain to her how reinstalling Windows doesn't magically delete everything and explain to her how I could recover all of her files in a couple of hours I ended up staying late that night and she bought me pizza and Mountain Dew I ended up a recovering every file he tried to have me destroy and made multiple copies for her if she ended up calling him from the store and reading off some of the messages he had tried to delete from his emails I was worried that he might try to come back and confront me but nothing else ever came of it whoa you made it to the end you're ducking Beast I'll cut you a deal smash like' and subscribe' fill more curated content brug it's free and that's a great price I

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Keywords: reddit, askreddit, askreddit funny, top posts, top posts of r/, r/, r/askreddit, reddit top posts, reddit cringe, comedy, reddit compilation, top posts of all time, askreddit question, askreddit top posts, ask reddit, askreddit reading, subreddit, reddit stories, best of r/askreddit, funny reddit, best reddit posts, best of reddit, emkay, ToadFilms, sir reddit, doctor reddit, reddit and chill, giofilms

Id: eQQNZehN_gs

Length: 19min 51sec (1191 seconds)

Published: Sun May 03 2020