Hey everyone, so in this little series I’ve
been demonstrating that the earth isn’t flat without using any science, simply by
looking at things like the moon and stars and airline flights. But believe it or not, there is an even easier
way to prove that flat earth is the dumbest hoax on the internet, which involves no observations
of any kind. And that is to examine the conspiracy itself. So to begin, let’s remind ourselves of what
flat earth priests would have you believe. They tell a story of how the most powerful
people in the world over the past several thousand years have conspired to convince
its citizens that what they live on is a different shape than what it really is. Beginning as a simple lie, it slowly ballooned
in scope, culminating in the 21st century landscape we are now familiar with, where
every single celestial phenomenon, every field of science, and every aspect of technology
must revolve around this spectacular lie. Trillions of dollars are spent every year
on fake space missions, and paying off an unthinkable number of people, an army of shills,
all to keep the deception going. Clearly, this is nothing short of the deepest
and most well-orchestrated plot humanity has ever conjured. It represents a level of cost, coordination,
and airtight secrecy that seems utterly impossible. But then again, the stakes are high. What is the payoff for all this effort? What do these ultra-elites gain by filling
the sheeple’s heads with images of globes and outer space? The answer is… Nothing. Yep, that’s right. Nothing whatsoever. There is absolutely nothing that anyone could
gain from telling this lie. Flat earth priests themselves typically don’t
even bother offering a rationale as to the motive. For the few that do, what do they say? Some of them say it’s “to hide god”. Seriously. This is very dumb, as any god who is so weak
that it can be hidden by its own creations is clearly not worth worshipping. Also, if that was the plan, then it totally
didn’t work, since most people in the world do believe in some kind of god. Others insist that it’s all about some form
of control, but again, this is stupid. Beyond not offering any tangible control,
you don’t need such a huge conspiracy to control a people anyway. Look at any authoritarian dictatorship. North Korea does this wonderfully by restricting
liberties, internet access, and using forced labor and executions. Viola! A brainwashed people under strict control! As for most of the rest of us, we do pretty
much whatever we want. We have to have jobs, and we get into credit
card debt, and banks have too much power, yadda yadda yadda, but the shape of the earth
has nothing to do with it, and lying about the shape of the earth would give no one any
advantage or any measure of control whatsoever. There is no wealth to be lost if people were
to find out the earth is flat, nor is there any power to be gained by the masses through
such a revelation. Speaking strictly socially, nothing would
change. So the idea that people are spending trillions
of dollars per year to push such a lie is idiotic. Nobody spends that kind of money for literally
no reason. But that’s not all. Let’s more thoroughly explore the social
ramifications of this. First up, the sciences. If the earth is flat instead of roughly spherical,
and all of space is fake, there are several scientific disciplines that must be deemed
fraudulent from top to bottom. First, geology. All geologists know the earth is a sphere,
so they must all be liars. Then, physics. Physicists know that gravity exists, which
it couldn’t on a flat earth, so they’re all shills too. Astronomy, you’d better believe it. All of space is fake, so anyone who studies
space is a liar. Everyone who talks about other planets, spacecraft,
volcanoes, earthquakes, earth’s atmosphere, earth’s core, or anything even tangentially
related to any of these topics, must be in on it. This means two things, both of which are equally
absurd. First, millions of scientists all over the
world, in dozens of different countries, whether working under their government, universities,
or the private sector, are all somehow unified under one hidden entity, and not a single
one of them is spilling the beans. With flat earth there are no Edward Snowdens,
there are no Serpicos, not a single one has come forward to offer a shred of insight as
to how this Orwellian scheme is propagated. Even the President of the United States with
all the power at his disposal can’t receive fellatio and keep it a secret, but a scam
about the shape of the planet we all walk upon, with millions of people in on it? No problem. Second, since literally anyone can become
a scientist, there has to be a specific point in the academic process where all the new
shills are inducted. So when is that exactly? Is it second year of graduate school where
they take all the 23 year old kids to the Eyes Wide Shut sex mansion party? Or is that only after you have a PhD? What about all the undergrads who are learning
the lies and can see that something isn’t adding up, but haven’t been brought to the
sex party yet? Shouldn’t any of them be asking questions? Exactly where is the line between shill and
innocent, and wouldn’t any of those students fast approaching that line be making YouTube
videos about it? They’d be rich and famous, after all. Moving on, it’s not all about academia,
either. Let’s go to the federal level. As much as flat earth priests pretend that
NASA is the only game in town when it comes to space exploration, NASA isn’t even the
only space agency. There are about a dozen others around the
world. Then there is the private sector. Obviously there is SpaceX and other such companies,
but why stop with rockets? All pilots, or navigators of any kind, use
a spherical earth to get around. Anyone who works in communications technology,
aerospace engineering, architecture, cartography, meteorology, or even politics, just what percentage
of people on earth are in on the conspiracy? When you consider all the aspects of our society
that rely on a spherical earth and a self-consistent set of physical laws, it almost seems as though
the number of people that would be in on the scam outnumber the ones that constitute the
mark. And all of these corporations, which are beholden
to share holders, are they really throwing money down the toilet paying salaries to people
who don’t actually do anything, and building technology that serves no purpose? That’s not how money works. And finally, let’s get to the flat earth
priests themselves. Those maverick renegades, those Neos in the
matrix. This conspiracy has been going on for millennia,
but it ends now! This secret society of Freemasons has had
every single world leader in their pocket since the dawn of civilization, but they are
no match for a few high school dropouts with YouTube channels! Whatever are they going to do? What could they possibly do except immediately
murder every single person who ever posts a flat earth video in ten seconds with a laser
beam. Honestly, given the magnitude of the conspiracy
as it is peddled, and the titanic power ascribed to its progenitors, the fact that flat earth
channels even exist at all is proof that the earth isn’t flat. Why would these people spend thousands of
years and quadrillions of dollars to construct the ultimate deception, and then risk losing
it all by letting some bozos talk into their webcams? Who could believe that they mastermind elaborate
narratives like a fake moon landing, building hundreds of enormous rockets and making them
somehow disappear, fabricating tens of thousands of new images per day, and yet they can’t
pay a hit man a couple grand to go take out some slack-jawed basement dwellers? This really is the bottom line. If you’re uneducated, you can ignore all
the science. If you’re lazy, you can ignore all the observations
of the sky. If you’re stubborn, you can ignore all the
photographs of the Earth from space which objectively are not CGI. Even if you ignore all of that, the story
just doesn’t work. America and the USSR were not cooperating
during the Cold War. Conspiracies do not get passed down over a
hundred generations. There is no Darth Sidious controlling the
empire from a secret base. It makes no sense. Of course in the end, we all know that it’s
a ruse. Among all the internet hoaxes, flat earth
is unique in its stupidity. It is just a meme that spiraled out of control. It’s a satire of conspiracies that became
a parody of itself when people unexpectedly actually started falling for it. That’s when the latest wave of flathead
con men came into fashion. These are the bottom feeders that scrape together
a meager living from livestreams aimed at the same couple hundred poor saps desperately
searching for purpose where they otherwise have none. They are big fish in the smallest and most
pathetic pond imaginable. This is why flat earth is the most stunning
example of the psychology of conspiracy in existence. It exemplifies the abandonment of logic that
some people are willing to enact in order to reject the reality of their own inadequacies
and cling to a fantasy in which they are super-special, part of the chosen handful of John Connors
who know the truth. The simplest of minds are unable to accept
a reality that does not recognize their brilliance, so any narrative that upholds their supreme
status will be blindly accepted, even if it requires that basic logic and the laws of
physics be rewritten. As long as it is anti-establishment, as long
as it rages against the non-existent machine, as long as it requires no actual knowledge
or thinking, being ordained into this alternate reality is the defense mechanism of choice
for the delusional narcissist with no skill set to match. And it is this most obvious of realizations
that leads me to part ways with the flat earth phenomenon. It was fun for a moment, but as far as I can
tell, it’s over. The flat earth priests haven’t even acknowledged
my last few debunks, as they were just too airtight to bother addressing. The patronage of flerf channels is on the
decline. Even the trolls with their sock accounts have
lightened their activity. Whatever bizarre social experiment this incarnation
of flat earth was, it’s done. But what isn’t done is the psychology of
the delusional narcissist I just described. This is something I’m not at all done with. In fact I’ve only just begun. This precise character shows up in the realm
of astrophysics, pretending to understand the field better than astrophysicists. It shows up in the realm of medicine, pretending
to understand the human body better than doctors and biochemists. While only a tiny percentage of these types
have the brain cell deficit required to fall for flat earth, they all eventually find their
home, which is usually some other conspiracy or anti-establishment narrative that ends
up doing a lot more damage, always just so that some jerk can make a buck. So while this seems to be the end of the road
for me with flat earth, as there truly is just nothing left to say about it, perpetrators
of hoaxes in all other realms, prepare yourself. Your days are numbered. Until next time.
What do you think the average IQ of a flat earther is?