How long have you been living here? Has it been a year already? I built this house- during the pandemic moved in just after the pandemic, met Ellen, got married. It was a roller coaster real quick. Yeah. I didn't know that you've already retired from showbiz. Was it a semi-retirement or are you really retired? Like I will do a movie if - it's really, I'll be really...
- Like your entry for MMFF? really picky now with what I do. Like TV, I definitely wouldn't do. Because? I can't be away from my family. Wow! You are really a family man now. "I cannot be away from my family." I can't, I can't. But I've said that even before. That when I get married, then it's "Goodbye, showbiz." Did you say that? Yeah, ever since because I know myself. When was that realization that, "When I settle down..." I knew that since before because I know myself. But my perception of you before was- That was in 2009. Eligible bachelor, you're handsome, a lot of girls like you. I thought you were the type of guy like Leonardo DiCaprio of Hollywood that you will just be in relationships. but you're not the type to settle down. That's the misconception about you before, right? Always. That you always enter a relationship but you're not the type to settle down. Always. Even though I have the perfect marriage to follow. My parents have been married for 50 years. Everyone thought I was like that. I mean, relationships are great. The purpose of the relationship is for maybe you end up together. You discover things about each other. But in all my relationships- Doesn't make them wrong, It doesn't make them bad. It's just... I could never pull the trigger because there was doubt. What was the doubt? Like, is she the one? You know, will we be able to get along in all aspects of life? Can I compromise? Is the compromise going to come willingly? Because when I look back at your relationships, you've had long-term relationships. Yes, that's what people say. - They last for years.
- Yes. That's why I don't understand the whole playboy- Because all of your roles are like that. True. So with Ellen, when I met her. That was a whirlwind romance, right? Yeah, it's just... There are no best foot forward. How long did it take? Like months? Months. In two months, three months, you know. When you know, you know. Yeah. Because we aren't together yet but she already broke up with me. How? How did she break up- She just said, "I don't like you anymore. Let's break up." Then I said, "Why would you break up with me? We're not even together." There is no best foot forward where I have to show the good side of me only. Which is normal in any relationship. That's how it is most of the times; You put your best foot forward. With her, We showed everything about each other. We were both very honest. I'm okay now not to get married. She's also the same. She has Elias. I have my son. And we're like, yeah, we're happy with our lives. When did you realize that "This is the one." I guess we had to talk about marriage and how, like I said, it's not really important for us. And the next day, I'm like, my God. Usually you talk about marriage and my brain will be freaking out. Scared like, "Oh my God." Then I'd put up a wall. Right? But with her, I'm comfortable with this. Even though I've said that, "I'm okay. I'm contented with not getting married." And then I told her, "I'm gonna marry you." You told her that? Yeah. And I proposed here. So when I asked permission, I asked permission first from my son. He gave me the green light. He's like, "Yeah, I'm happy for you." And when I talked to my parents, my mom said, "We love her, we like her, but why so fast?" And my answer was "In my 40-something years, when did I come to you talking about marriage?" And she's like, "Good point." "Okay." And yeah, the rest is history. And it's the best decision I've made in my life. Like, I'm really enjoying marriage. That is why my advice to young men is to get married when you're in your 40s. For the girls, I would say early 30s, so you can still have babies if you wanna have a baby. - But for guys?
- But for guys Do everything you wanna do. Make sure your life has a direction so that you can enjoy your marriage. Because it's hard when you jump into a marriage. but you're still looking for food to feed yourself. And then now you're responsible for another individual. And then you go through those hard times, which I'm not saying is impossible, but it can make or break you. Right? And when most cases in today's society, it breaks couples. Right? There's so much temptation. So for me, you need to be really stable. It's like setting a strong foundation. If you're 40 and you have no direction, then you have no right to get married. Because you have another person to take care of or vice versa. So for me, the best advice is on your 40s, you have direction. Hopefully you have a stable income already. You have enough savings. I'm enjoying so much time with Elias. He's five. You know, I can teach him all the sports that I like. I still can. I've kept my body in shape. So 40 is not so old. I'm gonna be 47 this year. Right? It's just a number. Yeah. How did you enter showbiz? It was just a blessing. Actually, showbiz has been opening its door for me for a while. And I always said no because, my mom's rule was you can do whatever you want as long as you finish school. So that was a priority. And as you know, my skin color changes everytime I go to set. I'm always an athlete first. What made you say yes to showbiz? I didn't wanna live a "what if" life. So when I graduated, I was playing semi-professional basketball at the time. And I was like, okay, I need to put food on the table. What am I going to do? I don't want to take any more money from my parents because they already gave me a great education. So I want to show them that their money was not wasted. So I want to be my own man. And then someone came to me. I think at first it was Eat Bulaga. -I hosted.
- You also started in Eat Bulaga? - Yes.
- What year did you start on Eat Bulaga? Was it Pool Watch? I left Eat Bulaga in 2004. When did you start? 2004. Oh, when I left. Then, I read that you guested in Entertainment Konek. Correct. I hosted Entertainment Konek in 2005. Together with Direk Joey Reyes. Yeah, that's right. I joined as a model. So I was lost. Honestly, I was like, "What kind of world is this?" You were lost because? I didn't know anything about showbiz industry. I was super camera-shy. I don't like being in front of a lot of cameras. And I remember it was Marvin Agustin. He told me to say, "Nakakapagpabagabag ang watawat na nagwawagayway" Is that correct? Winawagayway? Something like that. They were fond of me so they invited me back. They were constantly inviting me and I was there every week. I know nothing. - I know nothing about showbiz.
- Are you speaking in Tagalog that time? I speak a little. I used to pronounce Caloocan as Calucan. I didn't know what to say because I don't know the issues. So, I was really lost. Until one day, the issue involves Vina Morales. Vina is my friend. Because my manager, Joji, was also handling Vina. So, I spoke up about Vina and defended her. They were happy about it. You should be like that more like that. - You were still in your 20s that time?
- Yes. And then "Panday" came to the picture. - Panday of Jericho Rosales?
- Yes. And they said, "We want you to be the main villain and love triangle with Heart and Jericho."
- With Heart? So I said, what? Love triangle? What's that? What am I supposed to do? So I said, no. Then they said, that taping will be in Bohol For two months. And I am Mr. Travel. "Okay, I'll try this." And the rest is history. It was continuous after that. I was partnered with Judy Ann Santos after that. Like what? - Really?
- Yeah. And then after "Ysabella", "Habang May Buhay". So, everything happened so fast. - Right after you said yes.
- Everything was just so fast. - Your projects kept on coming.
- Yeah. - Then we worked together in "Maging Sino Ka Man" in 2008.
- Yes. - Book 2.
- Yeah. But our characters are just passing each other by. And then we did a show with Direk Wenn. - In 2009, "Ang Lalaking Nagmahal Sa Akin"
- Yes. It was continuous after that The series I did with Bea, "Magkaribal" And Gretchen. But showbiz taught me a lot actually. I was able to discover new things about myself. Like? Patience, you need a lot of patience in this industry. Managing the income that's coming in. Because there's a lot coming in. Don't just spend. So I was able to invest properly. It taught me discipline, being able to balance my time. Because I have so much on my plate. Because I still have to do my sports. I have my family. So being able to balance your life. Because once you start a tv series, that's your priority. That's your responsibility. You can't be unprofessional who's late or who doesn't go to tapings. So you need to find the right balance of being able to do your responsibility and and the other things that you want to do. And that's where a lot of sacrifice comes in. As what I've told you before, during Christmas, I really spend time with family. So that's how I was able to balance my life. How about with love? With love, well... If there's The Masters in golf, you've also mastered the love department. You have learned a lot about love. You should never compare relationships, but it's nice to go back so that you can better yourself for a future relationship. And one thing you have to realize, once a relationship dies, the respect and love for that person shouldn't die with it. You should always continue to do that. It's sad most cases that one minute, you're so in love. The next minute, you break up and say bad things about each other. Or you become strangers. Yeah, as if you never shared anything. Yes. It's like when you see each other, you are like strangers. Correct. - But before you were-
- And it's sad. For me, that's really sad. For me, I never gave up on love. I think we're all built to love. But it's just really important that you find that person that brings out, number one, the best in you. And number two, the change... needs to come, you know, not forcefully. You just want to change for that person. You want to adjust for that person. And that's what happens with Ellen and I. We're so similar and we're so different. But we never spoke about how we have to adjust for another. What's the best thing about marriage for you? Everything. Honestly, guys, this is- So many people say, "Marriage, Oh my God." "You should be scared." "Are you sure you want to do that?" I'm really enjoying it. She's like your tag team now. There's two of you. In everything that I do, she's super supportive. Even if things that I get nervous about, even here in showbiz, she's there. I find motivation in her, in the new things that I do. She's the one that convinced me. "Go for it." "You really like building." "Go for it." So it's like you have a best friend. A wife. Partner in life. The best thing about being a father. There's a lot. Super. It can be very painful also. It breaks you and it heals you at the same time. Man, it's broken me so many times, - especially with my son Austin.
- But it heals you also. Yes, yes. It takes so much to break you. But to heal you is just a little thing that people don't even look at, whether it's just a "Hi, Papa" or something that's small. The first time Austin called you "Dad". - Oh, a breakdown.
- April 1, 2021. Breakdown. You posted that. Yeah, breakdown. Like-- What was the feeling? I was crying like a child. Because that's what I've been longing for. I never forced it on him. He didn't grow up with me. When Austin came into my life, he was 10. And then, I was able to actually really bond with him, 13. He lived now with me. But when he called you "Dad"? - What was your-
-It was instant. Like I've said, right? The first person I asked permission to get married was him. I wanted him to be okay with it. I was so glad that he was really okay with it. And what he told me was "I promised myself to call you dad when I see that you've found the right person." "I understand now why you've been so tough on me, because you want me to be the best version of myself." So it's like everything just aligned. I won't go into detail what we went through together that broke me but, when he just said, "Dad," it was over, Tons. I was just... crying like a child. And like I've said, we have snipers here. Ellen's friends were here. And they were there by the pool and they took a video of it. And she passed that to me and it's one of the most treasured moments that I have and it was captured by her so, yeah. But with that said, again, he can break you again. - There's a part of you-
- And now, with Elias That's a different kind of love. When he was still a baby, like he's three when I met him and I just had an instant bond. Connection. Yeah, with Elias. He's just an amazing kid. I get so many texts. "How do you do it?" "You love this boy so much, we can see it." The single parents, single mothers out there. And I'm like, "It's not hard." For me, it's just- Natural. Yeah. And that's maybe why. A big part also why I fell in love with Ellen, because I saw she's such a good mother. So, it's like there's no more doubt like "Will she be a good mom to our kids?" I see it already. How she is with Elias. And I told her that I'm always going to be number two. Elias is the priority. And I'm okay with that. That's how I want things to be. I just don't want to have a broken marriage. I don't want that. I want... Family is the most important thing. So, I took my time and I'm glad I did. And I'm really enjoying the married life. Super. I always say- It always put a smile on my face. Everyone asks me, "So, how's married life?" For me, it's great. It's great if you're with the right person. With the right partner. Because it also can be like your kids. It can make and break you. Right? Your partner can either bring out the worst in you or the best in you. True. So, this is the kind of relationship and marriage where you bring out the best in each other. Yes. Right? That's true. That's when you know you're with the right person. Yes. So, what made you lie low in showbiz? Again, family. It's just who Derek Ramsay is. I know myself. I can't sit on the set and focus on bringing life to a character when my mind is, "Did Elias eat already?" "Is Ellen okay?" And, you know, "What are they doing?" Sacrifice trips, birthdays. It's like, I can't take it. And if you do a series, you will not have a life. Maybe later on when I really set a strong foundation to this marriage. That I want this, you know, this foundation so that this marriage cannot be rocked. So, these are the important years. just to, you know, enjoy my time with Ellen. Don't want to miss time on Elias growing up. He's grown twice the size since the day I met him. So, it's flying. So, when I see that, it's like I know I made the right decision. What's one thing that you always teach your children? Ah! Funny you say that. because just the other day. What I said earlier that "Elias, if someone talks to you, especially if they're older than you, you should acknowledge them." Because he has shy moments. Discipline, respect towards women and his mother. That's very, very important to me. I will never have a son or a daughter who won't respect their mom. Is it hard to discipline? No. People, when you say you have to discipline a child, it's not like screaming at them. - You just have to communicate.
- Sit down? So, like the other day, I asked the maids to go out of the room, I asked Ellen to go out of the room and I sat down with Elias. Oh my. Why are dads like that? You get rid of us. It's our moment. Paul is also like that. When he talks with Seve Even if I say, "I'll join." "No, no, no, no, you leave." I said, "Why?" Because we're willing to be the bad guy. Which later on in life, they'll understand why. So, when you talk to him, it's just one on one? Yeah. - There's no mommy, yaya, no one?
- Everybody out. Everybody out. So we talk. And I say, "So, why did you act that way? Do you have anything to say?" "I'm sorry." Oh, what are you sorry about? It's difficult because you have to be firm. "Oh, what are you sorry?" "For my attitude?" Oh my God. You wanted to break but you have to look tough. After he answers, "For my attitude" I'm like, "Okay." "Give me a hug." That's it. Yeah. And that's how my parents brought me up. They never laid a finger on me. Yeah. So now I'm really just, I guess let's put it this way, picky on what I do. So, movie I can do because the schedule is spreaded out. I can focus on that and I can focus on the family. That's why I have this movie "Kampon", this MMFF. I said yes to that before the pandemic and the taping days are far apart. And the production allowed me to set it that way so that my life is balanced. You know, I read something about parenting. You know, there will come a time that your kids, when they're old enough, they will figure out who you are. And you have to make sure that they will not be disappointed with the kind of person. And that's how I look at my dad. Like, when you ask me about my dad, I'm so proud that he's my dad. I've, you know, many times we sit down in the garden and I see what he's built. It makes me feel really proud. So that's how I look at my parents. And I hope my kids will feel the same way with me. When they grow up, they will figure out who Derek Ramsay is. In his showbiz life, personal life, sports life. I was super affected when my son said that "I realize now why you were tough on me. because you want me to be a better version of myself." I was crying so hard. Super. I couldn't hold it in. And... I hope it's... with Elias. We're trying now to have another baby. They will look at Ellen and I the same way.
