Dementia: A month in the life (FULL documentary) - BBC News

I used to be renowned for having a really good memory I could remember anything four months ago people's names but suddenly I'd be sat in a meeting and halfway through a sentence I'd forget the most silly of words and that was when something hit me that it wasn't quite right this is where I had my first experience of what dementia can do to your brain the time I came out of my office and didn't have a clue where I was and I didn't know who all the voices belong to that I could hear I was just lost I stood here and just froze for a second I decided to walk away and down the corridor hoping that no one would come out and say hello or notice that was there was something something wrong but I thought if I walk down the corridor and all be able to hide away for a few minutes or however long it would take for the the fog to clear and so I went through the end door and into the washroom because that was the only door there was a locked door I stayed in here for what seemed like forever but it was probably only three to four minutes and after that time it's suddenly like the Fox claiming the mist is lifted it makes your heart thump I suppose like that did you have a family history of outsiders at all no nothing whatsoever and I didn't drink didn't don't smoke have a wonderful diet used to run every other day but I've still got Alzheimer's we all have had different ways of coping I've got this thing on my fridge door put on it each day what I'm supposed to be doing or where I am also got photos everywhere is my daughter's with me photos always make you feel happy and we have to be a bigger TISS pillbox this one's the morning pillbox that's why it's down here next to the kettle anywhere else and I forget to take it when they actually diagnose me in a bizarre sort of way there is actually quite a relief because it put an end to all the ifs and buts or maybes it brings a a conclusion and end if you like to be to the not knowing and a start to the building a new life for those of us living with dementia our memories are our most valued possessions so here in this room I have pictures on the wall pictures of people family and friends so when I forget where all these places are or the names of the people on the pictures when I stand here and look at them all I feel is one of happiness because when we lose our memories it doesn't mean we lose emotions that we feel inside well to my mind of thinking way of linking you have to think of any positive you can to having such cruel disease now I love Great British Bake Off love love love love love Great British Baker and everybody talks about the sadness and the emptiness when the vinyl comes and you know that it's not going to be on again next week well I can just start watching it from the beginning again and not remember who won or who gets knocked out each week so I never without break between break off I have three biggest fears the one is is going over the edge into someone else that I don't recognize the other fear is losing my independence and the final one is not recognizing the two people that mean so much to me I've said to them that you know one day I won't know you'll come in the room and I won't know who you are I won't know your name but I'm sure I'll feel that emotional connection of love that that we have for each other and for them to always remember that that even though I won't recognize them I still love them I'm 58 years of age and until four years ago I was a head teacher of a large primary school in Canterbury I'd been a teacher for well over 30 years all in primary schools four years ago I was diagnosed with Alzheimer's disease dear diary Smalley I went for a beach walk I've been thinking recently reflecting upon what it's like to live with dementia and I suppose the honest answer is it's up and down some days ours we said before like the sunshine and they're clear and good days other days the fog descends and I have to say that recently there's been more foggy days than I hadn't previously my word retrieval isn't as good people say to me well sometimes you would hardly know you've got dementia and that's true on good days I very very well another days I am less good but then the days I tend to withdraw into myself so that people from outside don't see me you frustrating extremely frustrating it is extremely frustrating and and it makes me angry as well it makes me angry that I'm not better able to deal with it it's Sunday morning now I'm just going to talk to you about my early morning ritual in the bathroom it's not as bad as it sounds for some time I've struggled to remember whether I've Klemmer teeth shaved comb my hair in the morning when I get up so what I now do is I put everything out of the box use it and as I've used it place it back in the box again so when I play my teeth the toothbrush goes back in when I've shaved all the shaving stuff goes back in its developing little strategies like that that allow me to live independently and to live well I will now not remember often what people have said to me what I've said to them but I will remember the conversation how it made me feel and how that person made me feel and that is quite different from from previously how much of this conversation do you remember Keith very little very little in all honesty we are in the hand made you feel yes I will remember how this made me feel and to answer that foot more fully it's making me feel very positive because I think that by sharing these thoughts it's helping me and hopefully helping other people who will hear this and watch this I want to just keep on doing I'm not going to stop but the some point they might says that as us hits you on the dare that's when you got to decide what you're going to do yes so you have to cope you have to go yes yeah breakfast and Chris we put the honey came on his toast and then looked at me just now and said dummy you're a bit confused you said didn't you yeah confused so in the end decided to put the butter on top of the honey cause it doesn't matter you learn these things it's of no consequence and so I said do you mind being confused is that is that a worry to you and what was it you said can you remember you said just do something else you said yes sorry like that if you're confused to just do something else I mean basically you've done you've done lots of things but in the middle of your your working career you made boats for ten years yes and you were magistrate yes magistrate and when you were a magistrate you realise that things weren't quite get it right that is true things were passing you by it's how you put it yeah I say you never know who you put away or didn't know you don't really want to dwell too much on what it should have been like what it would have been like if if you hadn't got it and when you first get it people say oh I always forget what I've gone upstairs to collect you know it's different and I used to say to people it's different you can go and do something and then of course the moment we get in the car it's gone yeah yeah that's right which is quite shattering actually for a bit till you get used to it we get used to most things do a wonderful afternoon the sun's just gone down what is it darling what are we looking at it's a beautiful moon I hope it comes out because it is quite spectacular it may be too early but you remember what it is now yes what is it we're looking at what is it it's the moon isn't it yes to live in a beautiful place like this I think adds to sometimes the sadness that we can't enjoy some of the things that we thought we would but I think basically it's a huge help to be in a lovely place do you find it difficult to say to yourself I've got to be positive I must be know nicely well well I mean I just want to keep on going closely if I come hit something or do something can't go that can't do this or something there I can hmm and so you crack on hmm does it scare you Christopher no because you prove your patents you know chances are come so I know that did it friend or somebody does it does the outsiders scare you does it scare you to think that you've lost then reason no we're doing soon no I don't think so because I mean I've done that what's in the back of me it's the elevator forgive me this is always something always going forward you

Channel: BBC News

Views: 253,760

Keywords: dementia, alzheimers, alzheimers disease, disease, bbc, news, bbc news, lifestyle, interview, youtube, documentary, documentaries, bbc documentary, dementia cuases, dementia symptoms, symptoms dementia, documentary bbc, victoria derbyshire, documentary films

Id: zJObR8TqBIM

Length: 13min 0sec (780 seconds)

Published: Wed Apr 08 2015