DEBATE: Is Online Dating bad for us? If you aren't hot, dont bother.

today's topic geez what is a misconception people have about one but I think I'm open-minded so I would love to learn just to see what kind of success that we had hey man they brought in a Dragonball Z character so go let's go I'm Brittany I'm 28 I'm a holistic healer and a yoga instructor I'm Philip I am 24 and I am a director at you believe and the Dragon Ball Z yeah then he's not like he was buffering life and I'm Kendra I'm 27 and I'm the casting producer jubiiee ok just off the top I will give Julie credit for this video they don't none of them seem detestable or really weird for no reason sometimes I feel like they cast people that are very strange these guys all seem perfectly DS yeah dating apps are all about oh I was know hesitant to come up here cuz I again I think it depends for certain people but my generation a lot of people just use it for hookups I was hesitant to come up here too because I don't think it's all about why do you think it's mostly about I think it is harder to meet someone who was on there genuinely to like find a connection and get to know someone who doesn't want that because for me personally I want to wait until marriage and I had a friend tell me I was too wholesome and I was like I was too wholesome and that's why I wasn't getting any matches because I wasn't like showing cleavage and I wasn't posting like there's trap pictures they wanted you to be more wholesome okay wholesome is fine but we know wholesome business better going out on dates normally with guys I would have just as much pressure as I would on life it's just from an online perspective that's what I was looking for at the time but when I was looking for that at the time online is an easy way to find it and this is just social media in general is that you can get away with doing you know you can be like hey baby oh I want to do this and this to you in my dreams every day we got like dozens of unsolicited foreign older gentleman to be clear go to parks and you'll get unsolicited this wasn't just born with the internet there's been people flashing folks for all lutely this is just manifesting differently now would I agree that online and anonymity and the protection grants you more space to be a degenerate sure sure sure but it also grants people a lot of space to be forward and to not be a shot I know a lot of women who could never approach on man in person but they could drop a DM yo so you got to take the good with the bad you can't just talk about the bad aspect of it there's also reality that some people are just too afraid to approach others but I don't think it just because it's online it's necessarily gonna lead to more Horticulture do you meet your boyfriend and I get a man on tinder you did yes yeah we've been going out for like four years now he lives over in Philadelphia and yeah I've never actually like gone on a date outside of a dating app so I don't know based on the people I've met I don't really feel like there's ever been like an expectation that it's about was so funny there's nothing else just highly dressed up he's a Kip main character in watch dog yeah no no like I look at him and I just know he owns a skateboard yes a longboard it's good precision okay so let's address the idea that it's only about good times in the bedroom I think is like 25% of all relationships now start online that's something to acknowledge a lot of people are choosing to meet online why not in person well there's a whole plethora of reasons women sometimes don't like to be bothered when they're out in public men are learning this right men don't want to have to put their self-esteem on the line so they're choosing to go online so they can maintain their dignity in a lot of ways like I wouldn't even know how to approach someone like not outside of online I wouldn't even know yeah I wouldn't know how to approach someone yeah I wouldn't what am I gonna like oh I see I'm gonna go to the gym I said girl that looks cute am I gonna approach her absolutely not I see someone at the in the bus know in a club maybe maybe but no you know I mean I wouldn't even know how to handle it but the idea that online dating is just for that is really really not true I think it also discounts the idea that a lot of people would never otherwise meet without online dating how you gonna meet someone who's completely removed from your social circle and completely removed from your little sphere of friends of friends it's hard especially if you don't like going to bars and clubs which a lot of people don't like how are you gonna meet someone online dating gives you an opportunity to meet people that are completely removed from your reality online dating perpetuates discrimination here's our suspect the black woman's gonna bring up the fact that she's black I'm that black people and especially black women are heavily discriminated against online yeah physically speaking she's probably gonna be right this is what I suspect she's gonna say and if that's the case and I don't say it perpetuates it's just a reflection of the discrimination that exists in reality period you know whether it's online dating or in-person dating you know there's that reality with black women even if it's not what I believe in how I value those though there it's still there in reality well you know we're dealing with humans the same humans that are outside or on that app so it's kind of discrimination that I'm thinking of is good looks versus average looks okay you said looks yeah and I completely agree with that a lot of times for not more apps it's always based off looks first like I'm not even reading your bio anything and but as you said in real life the first thing you're gonna see is not the brains of the person but what do you like the most about me oh I really like the way you know that's not that I don't know how you think the first thing I saw was your face was your shape shallow conquer but it still is what you see first you're filtering people out like that every single day as you're walking you're acknowledging people's attractiveness or not subconsciously and when you want to approach someone you've already subconsciously swiped right on them based off their looks can I say I'm taking this prompt from a racial standpoint ride a train was it writing okay who's it Riley no I always thought it like a rally you know like a pep rally what I mean as a son for pep rallies there's a lot of racism in dating apps and that is just the fact the founder of OkCupid released a study back in 2014 where he made a graph and collected people's preferences and it showed that black women and Asian men are the least preferred on dating apps what's the job she's a casting director for TV yeah that's the only time that I've seen Jubilee putting out information that the contestant actually I mean the stats the stat I see you came with your little research or with your little can you please give me like a list of feminists because organizations that have engaged in any meaningful ad because they are just those issues because they are actually none okay I know that you came with your little research or whatever I've had guys when I was on dating app say the most disgusting things to me like let's play dress up like you're the slave and I'm the master or like I've never I've never dated a black girl before or like you're pretty for a black girl just microaggressions like that and it's disgusting listless and I am play master is not micro that is mega so I have the exact opposite opinion of Kendra's where I feel like online dating has put me in front of people that I wouldn't normally then again you are lighter than Kendra and that plays a fact also attractive in this place yes always I'm not here to tell you that Kendra is or isn't attractive I find her attractive that being said in that as someone who's always thought of themselves as unattractive online dating is not played in my favor just hasn't and so because the fact that I have other qualities that made me endearing to the opposites online dating wasn't the best way for me to meet people it's something that people have to acknowledge is that if you're not that hot you're not gonna have that high level of success and it's even worse for men yes women have it easier on online dating apps in that regards than men too in regards to garnering attention they did these numbers and I'll put the graph up for you guys but like hot women killed it hot men did really well average men or likes a little bit slightly above average did okay hot women liked it slightly worse did really well still and then it goes down and you see that like for men is just harder to me it goes down the rabbit hole because most of those women are all applying for the same top level men and so that's where they're getting all their messages whereas the bottom level men are just like free for all please look at me but what do you think about dating absolute dating apps like OkCupid and the league have preferences in which you can select race - do you think they should be able to do that I don't think inherently there's a problem with an app like catering to what it thinks your preference it's all because people wouldn't use it if it didn't give them what they were like expect thing to see or like wanting to see I agree with him yeah yeah yeah I agree it's the app it's your preferences that's the job of the app the person was like that you understand yeah so yes you're gonna have preferences the job of the app is giving you more option they're gonna give you more options in your preferences the person would have been like that in real life yeah whether it's on the app or outside no the app providing that it doesn't mean anything on the app it's a matchmaking service if you want to be match made with another trash human being the app should work towards them that's it now you know it's like someone dropped this thing too like I live beside somebody who is like doesn't like black people and it's bothering it was like that's none of your business they're allowed to have that view if they want if you don't like it you could move away but there in order to hold those views so long as they're not doing anything illegal they should be allowed to think what they think and if they want to take someone who thinks what they think that's not your business either that's not you don't like black people you should date a black that doesn't make sense I would also add it's better for them to add the racial preference so that you don't end up matching with people who don't want to be with you because of your race it's hard to tell someone that they're wrong for liking or disliking a certain thing unless they're being like outwardly hateful this guy's like the anti ben shapiro you know like how ben shapiro speaks in triple time this guy speaks i like half speed i mean maybe it's his way of being clear it's a gender of thinking sometimes you know people they talk too fast and you stumble no yeah i used to be like that because i thought it was that's a side note but you know I thought that you look much more intelligent and you know about your stuff if you speak faster angry but then again you stumble your way of slowing down your speech sometime you're gonna be able to think at the same time that you're talking either for reflecting on what you're doing and what he said so far it's been on point even though it's been super slow yeah it's been on point I got even hey do you ever try to walk away what do you mean what you stumble no I only walk away if I was about same some one in my group and I stumble and I cannot deliver the punch sighs just like I you know what so you weren't trying to hide it what it's clear the way like your life crumbles when when they're not there what are you talking about well I just sometimes I feel like you know goodbye and I choke if you don't take everything take the chair they can take your computer get the [ __ ] away when you are not online dating makes it harder to commit to one person the answer to this one isn't easy yes well no it's not I like it's not an answer to this is it depends on how many options you have whether it's online dating whether it's being a celebrity whether it's being the most popular dude in town whether it's being a girl who's really attractive someone who's rich whatever when you have more options and more accessibility you will more likely than not be less committed there's more chances that's it it's not about online dating specifically is just about the accessibility aspect of it now that's only available to people who are on the more attractive end of the spectrum if you're but ugly mmm-hmm whether it's online dating offline dating blah blah blah or real life yeah so I've been with my current girlfriend for about a year and we met on a dating app I don't think it makes it harder to stay committed but I do feel like it probably makes it harder to decide on like the initial commitment there's a portion of time where we like still both had the dating apps downloaded after we started like dating and it wasn't like considered exclusive yet and there's just sort of this like thing in the air where it was like well who's gonna like delete that first this guy is the most assertive low-energy person I've ever seen I don't mind this I like it his tone and his posture don't necessarily scream assertiveness but he's very clear with his opinions he knows what he's saying but everything about his voice says lazy stoner yes the stereotype yes but if you listen to what he's saying that's man I think that's why I like that they're talking slow comes to like it comes handy sometimes like I have a hard enough time picking my favorite flavor at the ice cream store you know what I mean and then like if I were like dating now and I met you know a guy online I would be like second-guessing myself all the times like well what about that guy from to two rows back I think they have a phenomenon for this I think it's like the paradox of choice meaning it's not because people have more options that they actually make better choices sometimes having less options makes for more makes for better choices because you just commit to something and you stick to it so there's some truth to that I hear what ask a girl what she wants to eat when you have two options to choose abstract barrie schwortz defined the paradox of choice as the fact that in western developed societies a large amount of choices is commonly associated with welfare and freedom but too much choice causes the feeling of less happiness less satisfaction and can even lead to paralysis now to be fair I haven't read a whole bunch of studies that actually confirm this but it was an interesting concept and I think something a lot of people can relate to yeah along the lines of that yeah I normally narrow down my options to two and then I flip a coin and I just move on my day it makes me so much easier when I don't know tea performs a flip appoint heads or tails and then I just go with that but that's how I said well when I choose something to eat it has to be aligned with what I want in my soul it has to be aligned with my chakras and then that's just eat eat a sandwich there is someone out there for everyone no no I don't think there's someone for everyone hmm just someone Yahoo's gonna stay there's gonna stay lonely forever and the reason for that is either there would have been someone for you but because of the way of thinking or something you know sometimes your type is the reason why you're alone sometimes the way that your stubbornness in believing in some things or the construct that you have in your mind is the reason why you're like that your stubbornness is sometimes the reason why you could be good looking in every stuff but sometimes you being shallow you being stubborn you going for the same patterns it's gonna be the reason why you're gonna stay alone for the rest of your lives and it's not if you want to change that fine if you don't don't but sometimes there's some people let them struggle and that's a fact maybe you having those things the struggle that you have the the biases that you have the the images that you have the think the preconceived ideas that you have in your mind of people of relationship made you miss on that one person that was for you and it's not anymore I don't believe in you know how it is you know people always ask me like you always ask me oh is that the women of your life I'll answer that question we'll all be dead cuz I'm still alive there's so much things that can change but I gotta be conscious of the things that are changing you understand and there's a lot of people that are not conscious of all that so that affects it affects their dating abilities so yeah so what is if you asked me if there's someone for everyone yes but it doesn't mean that's just because there's someone for everyone then you're likely to find that person is for you who said the same thing basically yeah but I just said it but with less extra steps hmm what I was 17 for seven years I wrote letters to my future husband I would just write about how I you know like I can't wait to meet him I can't wait to like spend Christmases together I would talk about that to these I couldn't wait to do with him and like I actually was planning on like writing a letter until I met him and then giving it to him like on our wedding night and the whole I'm so corny guys I actually ended up ripping the journal up because I had the advice of a therapist they had told me that I am keeping him in these pages and preventing him from manifesting in real life and if I want him to come to me in real life like I can't keep him in these pages and so actually when I was in high school I wrote everything down and then it all came to pass all of it every thought you know all the things that I wrote down that were my dreams because he Barbie sit it down the scripture said if you have not you have did you write it down Oh manifesting something you want is not a problem but also understand that what you want or what you are actually is best for you you may not know it what I thought I wanted at twenty is not what I want at thirty you're going to discover things so going off this blind idea of like this is what I want and this is what I'm gonna get in this necessary the best thing may not be true be patient with yourself you're going to learn and discover things for yourself but if you just live off this rigid idea of what you think is good for you you may not have enough experience and left to know what that is how is an eighteen year old going to know what her life partner supposed to be when she hasn't even fully discovered herself how does that make any sense so it just seems a little arrogant to me that I wrote it down when I was a high schooler and that's maybe that worked for you but for most people there's a lot of self development that has to happen before they know what all my dating is not bad it can just be supplementary it's like working out if you take a protein shake afterwards it's just a supplement is it necessary no but you can add it to your regiment it's just an auxiliary there's nothing that stops you from doing online dating and trying to meet people in person so when I hear people complain oh my god online dating this although just stop you don't have to do it if you don't want to you don't and more people doing getting yet more than before yes good everyone get on it enjoy it it can be good for you but I think a lot of people and here's the thing a lot of people have bad to average dating lives and they want to blame it on everything but themselves oh it's the world around me men have changed women have changed I wish I was born in a different era online dating is ruining everyone no you're just not good at it you're not good at it there's so many people who are happy and loving their dating experiences but you don't hear from them because they're too busy being happy misery and miserable people tend to be loud that's the truth but to sit there get oh my god it's hard if then you want it to be easy a lot of people think their old love their thing that they're old they're perfect relationship do the work people that are miserable they're loud by saying they're loud or they're just loud you just see misery and its really loud you know what I mean you you see misery they don't have to talk that's just loud enough that being said even if you do online dating or regular dating there's not one that's better than the other all right it really depends if you put the effort of it because doing online dating you're gonna have to do steps and put effort in after that same thing as normal dating right if you take you're talking about training while the protein shake that you take if you just take the protein shake of course it's not gonna work yeah I'm gonna need to get up and actually lift some weight there's gonna be some steps that you're gonna need to do for that to work if you just do one and then let it bare let it beat there and don't do nothing about it one is not gonna work the other is gonna is not gonna work either so that's pretty much it yeah look guys listen not everything is for everyone ugly people don't waste your time with all my day I'll tell you look at other options because you may have other qualities that'll make you endearing to partners all I'm gonna look at our photos and you're not capable of having good good great photos don't waste your time that's what I tell ugly dudes every single day yup it is what it is but for shy people who may be more attractive they may be the perfect medium you may not have the courage to approach people in person but online dating is how you meet your mate it works differently for different people so there is no one-size-fits-all answer but I tell people having a couple more options isn't the worst thing in the world so that's pretty much my thoughts last note good good on Jubilee this is a great video yeah it was pretty good everybody was actually level great cast diverse opinions even ones I didn't agree with talked about it respectfully it was good maybe it was there anything that was better who knows but that was a good bit they seem like a bull from the jump so my point - this is good for you guys we rag on you all the time but this was a good video hopefully you do more like this anything else no more crazies dumb people like honestly sometimes you guys just do the too much cuz you're doing a disservice to the like the discussion that you're trying to have is good but that you're doing a disservice to what it is - what is it could have been that's right so if you enjoyed this video be sure to leave a comment or like helps us out algorithm otherwise hit that sub button because I know 50% of you are not subscribed we said what so hit that bug that's right that's it 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Channel: Aba N Preach

Views: 1,434,376

Keywords: aba preach, reaction, online dating, ugly man, hypergamy, jubilee, Online vs Traditional Dating, tinder, bumble, hinge

Id: Bd2nsQphOb0

Length: 23min 9sec (1389 seconds)

Published: Mon Jun 22 2020