''Death Gave me a Choice'' by Natalie Coston | TOP RATED CREEPYPASTA

[Music] death came to me that night as I sat Nunley in a puddle of my own desperate blood and tears and when I saw him the tall entity cloaked in a robe so black it reached past the depths of darkness I felt inside my heart I'd been upset not about one thing in particular about multiple things I'd made so many mistakes there trying to put myself back together had become harder than reassembling a broken egg shell a year earlier I'd lost the most important person in my life the only girl I truly loved penny I could only blame myself I spent the past year blaming myself for betraying her betraying her trust she'd found a new guy a better guy than I am one that bought her flowers took her out on fancy dates was loyal to her and all that reminded me of how many chances I used to have to do all those things for her six months earlier the guilt and pain got to me tore my soul and to numb the pain I took sleeping pills with alcohol every night dreading the moment I'd wake up to another sunny lonely day four months earlier I lost my job and my scholarship because the depression and substance abuse kept me rooted to the spot I didn't want to have to face a world or I'd have to watch everyone else swim as I'm slowly sinking three months earlier I lost my friends and family as well I become distant and emotionless I turned down invites didn't show up for holiday get-togethers blew up on anyone who told me I needed help I was in chaos and I could only blame myself one month earlier I bought the small rectangular case of raisins adding self-abuse to the substance abuse I'd feel the smallest release when I felt the sharp sting and saw the deep red flow down my wrist and that night I caught my ex-girlfriend slightly tipsy but truthful all the same I told her I loved her I begged for another chance I cried harder than I cried in months just at the sound of hearing her voice she told me one thing and one thing only I don't love you anymore Calvin and I never will she hung up the phone immediately after and all I could do was stare blankly at the corner of the room but as everything hit me at once it hit me harder than a car going full-speed I didn't hesitate I swallowed the rest of my sleeping pills gulped down the remaining vodka straight from the bottle and I used those raises to cut deeper than I'd ever cut before so here i sat hopeless and alone but I wasn't alone I'd look down at my bloody wrists for mere seconds and when I look back up he was there a normal person would have been hysterical and afraid but I wasn't normal anymore I wasn't surprised he was there no I welcomed it Calvin he spoke in the most baritone voice I'd ever heard lower than the voiceovers on every movie preview and he said that one word with a disapproving sigh the way he said it made me feel like a kid again as if I'd done something and lied about it but I wasn't lying now the proof was in the mess that was myself at that moment I saw a shakily I'm sorry I said for whatever reason I felt like I had to apologize so I did you've spent a long time being sorry Calvin but not once did you say sorry to yourself a crease formed in between my eyebrows as I mulled over what he just said it came to me slowly he wanted me to see that my only enemy was myself do you give all the souls you come across helpful advice I thought you were deaf not a psychologist I raised an eyebrow him still unnerved by the fact that I was looking into an endless black hole or his face should be he forced a deep short laugh no mostly just the ones like you I'd take it into their own hands to decide fate it's not up to you Calvin so you give advice to suicide victims what does that mean he sighed again as if he'd explained this thousands of times before well I'm sure he had it means you don't get to decide this it means I'm giving you another perspective I stood up curiosity hanging on every word what perspective would that be the only way I see things is that I'm a horrible crap excuse for a human being so why be afraid of dying when I'm more afraid to live I had to do this I needed to do this I'm showing you Calvin what a living can do for you the hint of persuasion sounded in his voice tell me death what do I have to live for the question came out harshly but he didn't flinch listen closely what if I told you that you'd make it through this depression not fully healed but controlled by medication and therapy what if I told you that because you'll overcome this depression you will get another job and the job will pay for the education you did when you're done with that education you'll be admired it might buy your friends your family and most importantly your ex-girlfriend they'll see the greatness in you but you know you have they'll be proud of that change you won't be able to look at a bottle of vodka without feeling sick and what if I told you that your career will pay for the expensive ring you'll use to propose to your one and only and you'll be able to give her all the flowers and dates and loyalty you'd fail to give before most importantly what if I told you you'd be able to give her a dream wedding as well man give her two beautiful children a girl and a boy what if I told you you'd be missing out on life by choosing to give up tears room my eyes opaquely I can be happy again I asked hopefully afraid of what the answer might be but his answer was the biggest relief I'd ever felt yes you can be happy again I wipe my wet cheeks and cracked a trembling smile well I'd say I want to live then I am no longer needed the finality and his voice diminished the tension had felt before as I grinned wider I let out a half cry half chuckle thank you thank you so much now go to the hospital get your stomach pumped and seal up your wounds goodbye and in a flash the black voice that was him had vanished four days afterwards I couldn't get rid of that smile the nurses and doctors that helped me were Parcel plans a man being treated for a suicide attempt is this happy I knew to them there was nothing right about it but I hadn't felt right in my whole life because of my obvious mental health issues I said in the mental ward for a month after I healed physically just like death said I still had the memories of my depression but it was nothing the therapy and medication couldn't fix after I was released I found a job at a call center that pays slightly more than minimum wage it wasn't the best of jobs but I was surely glad to have it I saved money for a few months and started going to school again in the fall I was working on a business degree my friends and family were there to watch me graduate and I'd never felt more thankful finally I was making people proud again I wasn't failing I didn't even drink that night with the rest of my friends I didn't want to touch another drop of alcohol I spent that night with a people closest to me all seated a large table at the best restaurant in town and I'm so glad I chose to do so that night because our waitress happened to be the girl I miss so badly and still laughed she looked surprised to see me but she also looked glad Calvin she said staring at me as if I was her long-lost twin I wanted to smile too but I noticed the faint purple under her right eye it wasn't completely hidden by her beige foundation she knew I'd noticed and before I could say anything she began taking our orders concerned I told my family and friends as they were leaving that I was going to stay and speak to her they understood and after more congratulations departed I waited another hour in the twilight stained parking lot where I could breathe in the fresh spring breeze she was one of the first to come out and she noticed me prop next to the entrance halting her stride Penny's face lit up and there were tears in her eyes I knew she'd wait for me come I knew you were a great guy I think I've always known you had potential but I guess I was being my own worst enemy those words brought back the tiniest memory of what death had told me months prior that I should say sorry to myself and she needed to do the same ah the past is the past penny no animosity she looked even more grateful then and reached to hug me I put a hand on a cheek before she could and gently rub her purple under her eye did he do this to you I asked concerned and pissed off penny didn't say a word but a deep brown eyes said it all he obviously was over the accommodating boyfriend role and it started asking too much of her but I would become everything she needed and more I pulled her into a hug and ran my fingers through her long hair it won't happen again love I'm here now after that night things were better than they'd ever been between me and penny she'd gotten away from her abusive boyfriend and together we got him a jail sentence he deserved we'd spend every moment we had to spare with each other and it was like we've never been parted even our old inside jokes remained the same with time I'd saved enough money to buy her the most beautiful ring I could find and I proposed to her right in the middle of the local high school football field where we'd met so many years ago a field maybe not the best setting for a proposal but it meant so much to both of us flowers filled our house with fragrant smells I brought home one every day after work I made reservations every weekend for dates and no girl could ever mean as much to me as my penny the wedding was the one she'd always dreamed of when we were younger a winter wedding in the snow everything adorned in blues and whites and that long sleeve dress she'd hoped for ever since she saw it in that store window a year after the marriage penny came to me with the best news I'd ever received from she was pregnant we found out it was a girl and I was every bit the happy father when our violet came into the world dark hair just like her mother two years later we had our son Jackson he looked like me with green eyes and a mop of chestnut hair violet was over the moon about having a younger sibling life was amazing it was everything death had told me it would be and more I chose life the last time I saw him and life chose me now you can imagine my shock the day I found him standing in front of my work desk I've been tapping away on my computer focused on nothing but my work he broke that trance I became a statue as still as Lot's wife after she turned to salt after seconds of this vacant stare off I wrote the stillness why he sighed much like he had the night we've met that disapproving sigh but now with a bit of apprehension something has occurred Calvin something bad my heart beats swiftly against my ribs I stopped breathing what do you mean bad the million things ray through my head at once my family my friends myself did something happen to them was something going to happen to me you remember Hale don't you Calvin Hale the piece of crap I put in jail I hated hearing his name yeah I remember that bastard what about him did he finally get what was coming to him he got out of jail Calvin the caution and pity in that one sentence could not have been good I stood up from my office chair flustered there's no way he couldn't have gotten out yet he received 15 years it's only been nine ever heard of good behavior Calvin I was enraged how could this monster be capable of good behavior and then I remembered he'd fooled penny for a year he had been a wolf in sheep's clothing he was definitely capable of fooling others I think you need to come with me Calvin I didn't waste any time I followed him not bothering to tell anyone I was leaving work my first priority was to make sure that people I loved were okay but the pieces that were being put together in my mind soare it is anything but okay I drove 90 all the way home beads have sweated formed across my forehead and my breathing was loudly audible death followed me into the house as I rushed inside but he said nothing the living room was a mess of broken parties the ones which held all the flowers had given to penny and a million little petals and leaves littered the floor I was so immensely angry and scared at the same time scared mostly guess the scene in front of me hinted that nothing good could come from it I screamed terror in my voice penny violet Jack where the master bedroom Kalvin death said somewhere in my peripheral he pointed to the door at the end of the hall a door that was now chopped and broken standing slightly ajar I sprinted down the hallway and pushed past the door not worrying about the sharp splinters that dug into my left hand the light was off I wish I hadn't turned it on because when I did I was met with sheer horror blood crimson painted across the white carpet in bed sheets on the walls and painted on the bodies of the three people in my life that meant the most to me the details are too traumatizing to repeat but the acts that have been used on all of them was left behind embedded into my wife's I fell to my knees in front of them wracking sobs so hard they made me puke I just couldn't stop crying I couldn't speak I was screaming under the weight of emotional pain I was hurt but you said it would be better I turned to death screaming and seeing red you said I'd be happy why I sobbed deeply again unable to contain the lump in my throat and you workout in you were happy for several years but with a life comes chances good ones and bad ones everyone suffers Kelvin suffer I have nothing to live for anymore death I've lost my reasons for living for working for loving that's more than suffering I couldn't contain the contempt in my voice and I got dangerously close to that black hole of a face death war despite having to look up to see it you're wrong again Kelvin I'm here not only for your family as I do have to do my job he lifted his bony hands in surrender but I'm also here for you what you already know I'm planning to kill myself once again psychologist I spat at him hot rage drenched in every word actually yes I knew you try you'll go get the pistol from the top shelf of your closets and blow your brains out you'll do it in a few hours in this very room but I have another perspective for you my mouth hung ajar he knew my plans knew where the pistol was that I kept for protection but I couldn't be too surprised after a moment I crossed my arms and glared oh another perspective for me huh what what could possibly make me choose life this time a life that isn't worth living for the first and last time death laid a hand on my shoulder and although I couldn't see his face I knew he was looking me right in the eyes you must live Kelvin because Hale must die and you're the one will make it happen I thought I heard his lips part into a smile if he had lips death made it clear once again for me what do you say Calvin I smiled then to what must have appeared to be a sick sinister grin but a grin all the same I'd say I want to live thanks for taking the time to drop by and watch this video you know what it make me a happy doctor hitting that like button leaving a comment and subscribing to my channel go on I've got plenty more stories to tell you

Channel: Dr. Creepen

Views: 74,396

Rating: 4.8821754 out of 5

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Id: _f1RzgBlCoQ

Length: 26min 0sec (1560 seconds)

Published: Mon Jan 02 2017