Dear Kitten: Regarding The Big Game

dear kitten there's something that I need to warn you about today is going to get weird you know how normally the humans sit in front of that light box it's quite lovely actually we just sit there for hours and they don't disturb the little people that live inside the light box at all but on one day a year everything changes oh come on it's just a doorbell how many times do I have to tell you it's like the human way of narrowing outside of a closed door just lazier okay fine I'll join you under the light box stand dear kitten the first thing that happens is all these new humans arrive then they gather up every single thing that we sleep on and then they try to take up as much room as they can in the dumbest looking way possible hey kitten kitten check it out I'm taking up all the room yeah you try one like pretend you're a sausage that lost its will to live that's the spirit wait I got another one check me out kitty got a big better but all joking aside there is no place for us to nap we are doomed dear kitten after they have all assembled in the room of comfortable things they bring out her cornucopia of human moisture oh I'm not totally sure if the objective is to get it into or near the mouth hole maybe it's like bocce a like you get points for being close it really goes everywhere on their face I don't actually you have a little something right there let me get that all right calm down sir here's a lot don't kill the messenger dear kitten you see how some of the humans are wearing traditional robes of some sort I can't tell what they signify in terms of status but I am pretty sure that one is the idiot the humans seem to have some sort of a ritual when the light box suddenly gets loud all of the humans try to be the first to jump up and shout louder than anyone else the person who gets up the fastest is the winner and gets to hit people with his paws the slowest people to get up are then taunted for their inadequacies and they become very sad it's actually quite a cruel game but it's a cruel world dear kitten you've probably noticed these strange metal cylinders it seems to be a device that the humans used to suck out their intelligence kind of like the vacuum but instead of sucking dirt it sucks out judgment and common sense look-see yes sure one time I tried it by accident and you know what the next morning I woke up feeling terrible wearing another cat's collar and I may or may not have been inside of a sock don't ask because I don't remember dear kitten I know with this sort of madness your instinct is to hide but there's a bigger play here I need you right up in there I mean jump on peoples labs and try to walk across the table of sloppy sauces if you can find someone who sneezes every time you get near them get near them and when it's time you just walk right in front of the light box and sit down like you don't know what's going on and then 3 2 1 that's right kitty get an airplane ride a little private jet to the only prize worth competing for a can of moist delicious wet food and touchdown works every time did he get what he wants fly a kitty fly

Channel: BuzzFeedVideo

Views: 9,251,035

Rating: 4.9741521 out of 5

Keywords: Animal, Animals, Big, Big Belly, Big Game, Bird, Cat, Commercial, Cooking, Cute, Cutest, Dear Kitten, Dog, Dogs, Fancy, Food, Funny Cat, Funny Cats, Game, Games, Kitten, Kitty, Light Box, Pet, Snacks, Super Bowl, adorable, best, bfvsgf, boyfriend, cats, chicken, eating, funny, gags, girlfriend, hamster, healthy, jeana, jesse, jokes, kittens, kitties, laugh, laughing, laughs, meow, pets, play, playful, playing, pranks, prankvsprank, puppies, puppy, purr, silly, video, video blogging, vlogger, vlogging

Id: aBrSvHPY1NQ

Length: 3min 39sec (219 seconds)

Published: Thu Jan 22 2015