Dean Martin Christmas Show 1968 - FULL EPISODE

the following program is brought to you in living color on NBC look at the face just look at it look at that fabulous face of yours why me there's no time to look at it this is the face of the door [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] claritin friendly and warmest christmas day every girl every boy sees the meaning of trying [Music] bye-bye kitchens bring out your faul remember [Music] the very first day my god everyone [Music] [Applause] [Music] Merry Christmas Merry Christmas what was that for last year [Music] and I'll certainly bring you all those things Merry Christmas hohoho but what are you doing here I'm leaving you Harold I'm fed up I have had it what's wrong now I can't stand that crummy apartment anymore I want some decent furniture I want a color television and a stereo and I want some decent clothes so we can go to fancy places and I want a new car to go there in and I want a fur coat so I won't get cold who do you think I am Santa Claus [Music] [Applause] [Music] Merry Christmas [Music] what a Christmas what a Christmas I have been to Australia Africa honey I've traveled 30,000 miles without a stop and poop well did you leave the sleigh out honey why cuz we need a bottle of milk 4:00 in the morning [Applause] [Music] my jelly too [Music] [Music] I did some shopping Christmas Day and I ran into a department store that they had a real set well this Santa Claus was real he was real playful guy you know you should have seen him throwing my twelve-year-old up in the air lucky didn't spill any of it hey boy was that store crowded high I scratched my back and two women slapped me yeah I wasn't I was in the toy department and I tell you the dolls they're making these days are almost human the salesman showed me a doll that can brush its hair brush its teeth wash its face and it walks and talks and it wets and I said hey there how much is it pani said oh you can't buy it you have to adopt it [Music] [Applause] [Music] when the snow kazakh cover the it's dream day I'll wait for 2 whole year I know they're the king Panasonic like a pumpkin head it's shyness or your nose home fries all the way just go back see how it grows and see how it goes Nationals who was your snowball just for a song [Music] it's a sugar they want to spring the marshmallow world a movie [Music] I'm it's a working day away [Music] father-son is bred like a pumpkin head it's shining so your nose won't freeze all the world is your snowball see how it grows see how it goes whenever it snowed religious hobo [Music] it's a sugar to date but if spring is late it's withered it's a marshmallow [Music] [Music] here I'll bet there's potential hanging from his tonsils hey come on with me now we're gonna meet my pal bob newhart at this department store he's gonna be playing the part of a guy and there's no music there he's gonna be playing the part of a guy and a rather embarrassing position of returning a toupee that his wife had bought him I'm gonna be the clerk and wait here he comes ladies and gentlemen mr. Bob [Applause] [Music] yeah complaint department yes this is a complaint department man not happy yeah yeah it was a private room of some kind I'd like to discuss returning the gift is it underwear sir there's an underwear anything like that so see my wife my my foot may have to pay and and she gave it to me early so that I could wear it to to some of the Christmas parties my I'm sorry I'd like to wallow do you have it with you sir what model is it I don't know what model it is see the crew cut with a widow's peak Oh oh that would be our mr. wonderful model yes I don't know what you people call it I'd like I'd like to return well you'll have to show me that I'm merchandised to be returned you know it's a show - but shorty in a minute there's some people coming just don't stare at me just yeah [Music] probably people passed me on the street and they start laughing you know I notice lately they started laughing the date sermon makes you look years younger now I want to make me make me look years younger but some people still laugh you know what what seems to be the main complaint well the main problem is we went to this Christmas party and I bent down to put some cheese dip on a cracker head to pay one under the cheese dip everybody could have the cheese dipping and the hostess started crying and only spent a couple hours time I fished it out of the cheese [Music] well this might be funny to you sir I had to be there I took it home and I put it in the washer dryer get the cheese dip pocket we had we won those were the windows in them you know those times now there's another problem see the kids they like to sit and watch it oh you you wanna you want the full exchange on that no I don't want the full exchange I'd like to get a real cheap one just to stick in the washer dryer did you watch together she was getting it for you no I didn't know she would get well you know looking back she came in one morning and with his piece of paper and she had me put my head on the piece I don't get then get the wrong size you know if you don't put your head on it fits me but it's embarrassing enough but if I got one that didn't fit me I'd be she never told me why she traced it on the paper and the reason you wanted return it well the main reason is it you know it doesn't tell what you people say is gonna do well it does make you look younger how you keep you keep selling it makes me still still like oh that particular model is guaranteed to stay on and her okay kiss me I know I know it's down a hurricane but see we're from Iowa and we really we don't get that many hurt mainly when I got off of the cheese dip that's what I'm doing do you still have the price tag you need you need the price tag Oh certainly like I use a phone why yes honey yeah listen you want to call the hannasseys yeah an asymptote in the bottom of the cheese dip all [Applause] Hey so long hey you got there my whole blank page for hey girls the gold diggers you know they're here tonight they were on my Thanksgiving show that's cuz they make any holiday a special occasion as a matter of fact I'm gonna think of a few more holidays so I can have him around more often ladies and gentlemen the talented and beautiful gold diggers [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] he knows when you're awake he knows when you've been bad or good so be good for goodness sake you [Music] with Rudolph the red-nose me [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] everything daddy [Music] all of swelling stable clothes Paris label [Music] amazing revelation [Music] my inspiration [Music] [Applause] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] yeah [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] Oh [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] it seems that the parking problem gets worse and worse and if it's tough for you and me can you imagine what it's like for Santa Claus here to give you an idea of what Santa may be going through this very moment is a very good friend the wonderful mr. Dom DeLuise [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] hey fella don't you read English you can't park over here this is a towaway zone move it out of here huh yeah hohoho and a merry Christmas to you too now move it I don't care what you got to deliver you take those funny-looking horses out of here I'm going to give you a ticket ho their names are Donna Blitzen and I don't care if it's Bonnie and Clyde you got to get him out of here okay fella what is your name Saint Nicholas come on I don't waste my time it's cold what's your real name Kris Kringle don't feel bad after spiro agnew anything goes look buddy what is your business spreading Christmas cheer have you got a license to peddle booze no license huh okay what's in that big bag I said open that bag open that big black colored television set tape recorders transistor radios where'd you get this stuff one they were made for you by a bunch of elves suspicion of burglary all right you're coming down to the police station with me what what what do you mean a Christmas present for me what what's a Christmas present for me hi I throw the book at you and then you give me a Christmas present Wow it's a gold fountain pen he Cicely always wanted you know Hey hey mister with the bead you know what I'm gonna do I'm gonna take this beautiful pen and I'm gonna cross out all these petty little charges that I have down here crossing them all out and instead I'm gonna write down one thing attempted bribery [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] hey hey hey you know it's great to see it how you been oh not too bad old buddy and you I get by hey you're looking just great oh yeah yes right before eyes yourself well hey it's that time of year again you know yeah we've been meeting like this or a lot of Christmases you know something mmm Christmas wouldn't be Christmas without you Louie um well shall we change gifts okay let's exchange juice Merry Christmas sir [Applause] [Music] [Music] Wow Eleanor my pal Ken Lane here my biggest problem is what to get him for Christmas ken has arthritis bursitis rheumatism sinus but again for a guy who's got everything Christmas aunt I see what do I know what do I know Oh how about the trunk follow the laws ah I don't know the lyrics either where does it say you seem like that [Music] jingle bells jingle bells jingle all the way oh what fun it is to kiss and neck with Doris Day remember the famous words of mrs. Santa Claus who once said to Santa coat heavens where you've been that those reindeers have been here three days all right [Music] [Applause] [Applause] Merry Christmas it's pretty crowded in that closet with all those empties good to see who's good to see and I like the color your nose I'd like you to lead my sleigh tonight [Applause] [Music] [Applause] this and you can always count on the gang at the office to get together long about now for their Christmas bash and here's Dom DeLuise at the office party [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] [Music] [Laughter] [Music] [Laughter] [Music] [Laughter] [Applause] [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] [Laughter] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Applause] all these children belong to the people who work on my show things with are in there just like family to me so I invited them here to share a little Christmas fun with me and my guests now I'm gonna ask some questions all right you have you got a favorite singer [Laughter] [Music] you got a favorite team what are you gonna give your mommy for Christmas hmm oh you can drop it now Harry do you know why Oh Dean Martin I'm glad I found that out right now I've got a real surprise for you because you're gonna be entertained by my next guest ladies and gentlemen boys and girls the nice man from gentlemen mr. Dennis Weaver [Applause] are you comfortable yeah well I know one thing you're beautiful you know what I'd like to do for you I'd like to sing you a little song but you know something I'm gonna need your help because I just yes I'm gonna need your nose because I just right right cuz I'm tell you I don't think that I can get through this by myself so first it's a tambourines right and next it's hipster what the whistles run the whistle and then the tambourines I thought it cool I didn't and then the horn so when I point to you that's when you all got to jump in and help me then you help me right when I point to you guys okay here we go when I was just stunned that lad enjoy my father came home late one night and gave to me a toy I wanted to with many colors bright and the moment I laid eyes on it he became my heart's delight [Music] I never knew the spotted pose on a guest I'm never the first time I pick it up I big surprise for ride on the bottom where two big bugs at the light to green eyes on five first push pods I pushed ugly and when I sat it down again just whose father did it went [Applause] [Music] just particles I never first March left then then March slide and when Mars founders chair and when I look where it was gone it wasn't even there I started to survive daddy laughs for you I would find when it turned around my marvelous boy was talking from behind it [Music] [Applause] [Music] Oh gone by too fast it seems and I have my own little boy and yesterday I gave to him my marvelous middle toes walked his eyes nearly popped right out of his head and he gave us we lovely neither one of us knows just farted just like me [Music] I guess I never do I never knew just water and I guess [Music] I want to thank you for coming by and entertain kids here yeah I get a lot of practice at this Dean I got a bunch of them at home myself yeah well not to mention a 650-pound bear he must be hard to handle not really whatever he wants I do hey while we're all here why don't you join me with Ken Elaine and we'll sing some Christmas music and wait [Music] season to be jolly [Music] Oh Oh [Music] all is cold Oh [Music] brah [Applause] [Music] toy train peppermint canes Christmases Ricky Christmas is walking new skates almonds Christmas is freaky Christmases flame puddings and cakes warm hard cinamon tell look around the news [Music] Christmas's routine responses were gear Christmas is for kids like [Music] [Applause] yeah Christmas is really for the kids and one of the nice things about our Christmas shows in the past few years was that we sent car loads of toys to youngsters and children's hospitals and orphanages all over the country well this year the very generous people who made these toys are donating $100,000 worth of toys and that's gonna fill a lot of stockings so I've asked some of my friends to help me place Santa Claus and I'd like to start by telling all you kids at the st. John's Hospital in Steubenville Ohio where I was born to keep a sharp eye out for Santa because he's on his way with lots of gifts for you st. Nick told me that he was on his way to the Mexico Children's Home in San Antonio Texas and Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer is going to be happy to make a stop at the Hartford Hospital Pediatrics Ward in Hartford Connecticut and you kids at the New England home for little Wanderers will be happy to know that Santa Claus got all your letters and he's on his way with some shiny new toys and to the children of the Doernbecher Memorial Hospital in Portland we're sending a bag full of toys and games that you'll all love dancer Prancer and Blitzen we'll be parking outside casa de la Esperanza house of hope in Tijuana Mexico with lots of goodies for all the children valdine I hope the boys and girls at the Children's Hospital of Michigan in Detroit are watching because Santa Claus is going to be good to all and Santa's been working nights to get his delivery ready for you children at st. Vincent's orphanage in Chicago Illinois and you children at the Hillcrest Center for children in Bedford Hills New York will be real happy to know Santa had to hire some extra reindeer to make a delivery at your place on Christmas Eve and it's going to be a real Merry Christmas for you children at the Angels Haven in Glen Burnie Maryland and all of you at the Immaculate Heart of Mary Children's Home in Buffalo make sure that you keep the front walk all shoveled off because Santa's planning on in there too and things are really humming Dean at Santa's workshop so he can deliver some real fun toys to your children at the Gila Indian Reservation at Levine Arizona we're also sending lots of fine toys to the Holly Hill Children's Home in Colt springs Kentucky so you can have yourself a merry little Christmas you know it's st. Vincent's orphanage in Columbus Ohio a lot of ours will light up brighter than Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer Shred knows when they see what Santa's got the store for Santa plans on making a trip to the children's convalescent home in Washington DC and Santa's helpers advises that he'll be heading across the Pacific with some goodies for all youngsters at the Children's Hospital for crippled children in Honolulu Hawaii you children at the lifeline home Kansas City Kansas you're going to find lots of wonderful toys under your Christmas tree it's gonna be a real happy Yuletide for you children that the barium springs orphanage in Statesville North Carolina I want you kids to know that neither rain sleet or snow is going to stop Santa from visiting children at the Children's Hospital of the District of Columbia in Washington DC and if you children of the Edgewood orphanage in San Francisco hear footsteps on your roof on Christmas Eve it'll be centered lots of goodies boy Nanni's way down from the North Pole Santa's making a special stop at the Jesse Lee home in Anchorage Alaska and you children at the protestant children's home in new orleans louisiana will be happy to know that Santa got all your letters nice got some nice surprises for you you children at the general Children's Home in Indianapolis Indiana leave out the welcome mat on Christmas Eve cause Santa's gonna drop by all of you children at the Clyburn home for children in Baltimore Maryland we'll be happy to know we spotted Santa and his reindeer speeding along the Milky Way headed in your direction I'll be loaning my hat to Santa to fill with toys for all the youngsters at the Southern Christian home in Atlanta Georgia I have been real busy all this week rounding up Santa's reindeer so he can visit all you children at Children's orthopedic hospital up there in Seattle Washington and there are lots of fine toys on the way to you children at ermine a venire home for children and Pittsburgh Pennsylvania and it's gonna be jingle bells for all of you with the Kendall children's home in Miami Santa's gonna be making a stop at the boys home of the south in Greenville South Carolina be sure to make lots of room under the Christmas tree at the wind Acres orphanage in Cincinnati my good friend Barney Fife from Mayberry told me he's given a police escort to Santa so he'll be sure and get to the Ethel harps home for children and Cedartown Georgia Santa's going to be making a visit to the Methodist Children's Home in Worthington OHIO Santa Claus will also be making stops on the roofs at the Abbott house Irving ttan on the Hudson and all you kids at st. Joseph's Hospital in physics Arizona be sure to clean out the chimney because Santa's gonna drop in on you too your youngsters at the st. Agatha home in Nanuet New York will be very happy to know that mr. and mrs. Santa Claus have included all your names on their gift list now you children at the st. Mary Villa in Nashville Tennessee be sure and leave a light in your front window because a nice man in a red suit and white beard is gonna be looking for your place I wish I could see the smiles on the faces of you kids in Seattle at the Children's Home Society of Washington when you open your presents on Christmas morning even Scrooge is working overtime this Christmas to send lots of wonderful toys to you children at the memorial hospital for cancer Children's Ward in New York City and I hope you children at the Madonna Manor in Marrero Louisiana have an extra large chimney so that Santa can climb down with all the fine toys he'll be bringing them I just check Santa's itinerary and new children of the City of Hope Medical Center in Duarte California are going to have a most welcome visitor on Christmas Eve but I want to thank all my friends for dropping by and helping me make a lot of kids happy now you have a happy holiday and from all of us to you and your loved ones Merry Merry Christmas [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] you

Channel: Deano Martin

Views: 1,324,511

Rating: 4.8638248 out of 5

Keywords:

Id: -LHl0zf09pE

Length: 48min 15sec (2895 seconds)

Published: Tue Nov 28 2017

Reddit Comments

[u/ftwtidder]

They don't make Christmas special like his anymore :(

[u/wrokman]

came across this last christmas... absolutely dreadful