Dealing With Anger - Shane Willard

you know what can i what can I date at 8 years 8 8 mins breakfast and I don't like to repeat myself so I want to I want to bring something that we could all take home and and and perhaps change our life just a little I want to open the scripture and when we read scripture I want us to try to find ourselves in it it's it's very important so I want to do sort of a survey of Scripture on how to handle anger um what do we do because anger is one of these funny things that's that's that we have to live in tension with and in one sense we can't afford for it to be a problem you can't you can't well I have a master's degree in clinical psychology I can tell you that when you get angry there's an enzyme released in your brain that tells all the blood in your whole body to go to the major muscle groups to prepare for a fight it's a physiological mechanism given to you by God to protect you in times of true danger this is why when you when you get angry or feel threatened you get stronger your peripheral vision sort of goes away and you can focus right on what's in front of you your face gets a little bit flushed that's because the Bloods leaving your brain these are all good things if there's real danger but if we get angry and there's not real danger they are the same physiological mechanism takes place and so and the problem with that is that when all the blood leaves your brain and goes to the major muskers to prepare for a fight we lose 25% of our IQ now most people can't handle that right I think about the people you know you got all he could not he's really who close anyway right it's so just just to give you some straight science on this ok the average IQ in the room is a hundred points dysfunctional II mentally handicapped is 70 all right so if the average person loses 25% of their IQ they are this close to being dysfunctional a mentally handicapped right and FEMA if you're married right if you're married and the two of you get angry what you have essentially is too mentally handicapped people trying to solve a problem and think about that like like you think about the last thing think about the last thing that you said that was really intelligent while you're angry ok very difficult when men get really angry sometimes men get so angry the blood is so far gone from their brain that they can't even complete a sentence so they just grunt no I got but you're going what say again right right women have their own mechanisms too but we won't talk about them today right but but the truth of it is I've seen I've seen men put a flesh-and-bone hand into a brick wall right the wall winds hand broken you say what happened I hit the wall why I was just angry well right this is the kind of stuff that is so-so in one sense you can't afford it you can't afford that to be a problem in your life right and by the way just because it's not about today but but it just it's the same the same physiological mechanism happens when you're sexually aroused okay so when you're sexually aroused all the blood leaves your brain goes to your raja'na zones to prepare for that and that's a really good thing you want that to work right you did absolutely if it's in a proper situate you definitely want the blood flow right right but when you're in an improper situation the same thing happens and you lose your ability to make sound judgment think think think about the bad decisions that have been made in that state right lots of things have happened that we regret afterwards in that state right lots of things that happened in an angry state and if you're ever angry and aroused at the same time there's like platypuses with greater IQ than you right so so so in one sense in one sense anger or lust you can't really afford it you can't you can't it you can't afford to have that as a part of your life it'll either destroy your life and it's not because some things are wrong it's just because some things aren't wise right and so say if all we do is filter what we do through right or wrong we'll ruin our life because there's a lot of things that aren't wrong but there definitely aren't wise right they'll destroy you right so it so in one sense you can't afford to be angry but in another sense you can't afford not to be angry and that's the tension in it right because some things if they don't make us angry it's like wait are you alive like somebody says well I never get angry never what about that oh yeah well that makes me you right because the word anger in Hebrew and the word breath have the same root word in other words sometimes being angry is the reminder that we're actually alive so the question is is how do we how do we handle that tension how do we handle the tension between something we actually can't afford to be a problem but nor can we afford for it to be completely absent because if it's absent we lack passion and the energy it would take to do something to do something productive but if it's a problem it can destroy our life and so the issue with anger is not fighting it it just makes it worse the issue with anger is not trying to eradicate it because then our life would be boring and purposeless the issue with anger is having the wisdom to go wait a minute hang on where is this a problem and where can i where do I need it to up my anger now I want to do a survey today of of some wisdom literature now wisdom literature if you if you're if you're new to church or you're not sure what wisdom literature is is a piece of the Bible it's five books in the middle of it right and these are these are wisdom statements they're proverbs or they're poems they're not meant to be promises right if you quote a proverb like a promise it's the problem right like proverbs says if you answer your enemies softly his anger will turn from you is that true in general like as a wisdom observation about how generally life works that is absolutely true but is a promise no G jesus answered his enemies softly and they killed it right so so wisdom wisdom literature is just what it is it's situational sometimes sometimes proverbs says to answer full bluntly sometimes proverbs says just walk away from a fool why because sometimes in life that's hell sometimes it's the wisdom thing to do it's not about what it's not about right or wrong it's what is wise what is wise and so I want to survey scripture and then and then at the end I'm gonna bring this down so where we could apply it so this is let's start with Psalm 89 verse 14 I've putting them on slides for you because we're gonna we're gonna do a lot of them it says righteousness and justice are your foundation of your throne love and faithfulness go before you know it this is gonna be our key scripture at the end so I want to put it at the beginning righteousness and justice or the foundation for your throne I just want you to mark that in your mind righteousness and justice are the foundation of your throne so a couple thoughts on this one something should make us angry something shouldn't Human Trafficking should make us angry yep slavery should make us angry this would have made the news here a few years ago I live in Charleston South Carolina and a few years ago a 19 year old racist very disturbed young man named Dylann roof he walked into a Wednesday night Bible study at a historically black church in downtown Charleston South Carolina they welcomed him they hugged him they loved him they let him sit in on their Bible study he set through the whole Bible study and in the closing prayer he pulled out a gun and killed everybody there except two so they could tell the story and here's what he was trying to do in Charleston South Carolina is a very small sliver of a peninsula it's only if it's only a few miles wide and on the left side of Charleston South Carolina is largely african-american and on the other side of Charleston South Carolina only separated by sometimes less than a mile it's very affluent white people and what he was trying to do was to cause a race war between the African Americans on one side and they're fluent white people on the other that's what he's trying to do but it backfired because here's what happened he killed nine people that day and in his trial the families of those nine people one at a time took the stand and read into the court record that they forgave him they said listen here you were trying to start a race war and you took our family from us but you will not accomplish what you want because in Charleston South Carolina love saves the day we will be profoundly connected to Christ you will go to jail for the rest of your life but you would have accomplished nothing and for us we all forgive you and that they say you let stuff like that and and and you're inspired yeah you're inspired by the response of the African Americans you're aspired by that and we should there's something about that that goes you don't you might never have given God a second thought but that there's something inside of you goes that's awesome that that makes the real go around but then there's something on the other side that makes you angry and if we're not angry about that there's something wrong with us like when we think about when we think about extreme poverty which by the way is getting way better and we should celebrate the fact that it's getting better but that should still make us angry enough to partner with the risen Christ to do something about it so some things should make us angry but what about when anger is a problem here's some here's some wisdom literature on that this is Psalm 37 verse 8 refrain from anger and turn from wrath do not fret it leaves only to evil so in this wisdom it says it says anger wrath and fear don't ever lead us to where God wants me anger wrath and fear hisses proverb 1714 a quick tempered person does foolish things yes absolutely why all the Bloods gone you can't even someone who's basically smart you when you see a basically reasonable person rationalizing irrationality what's something something's going on in the brain that's removing their capacity a quick temper person does foolish things yes and we've all we could all identify with that we could all go yeah I know I know I know a guy I know a guy I or I know a girl or yeah yeah I know this and the one who devises evil schemes is hated absolutely true here's proverbs 16:32 better a patient person than a warrior one with self-control than one who can take a city huh bit robbers 1911 a purses wisdom wisdom guilts patience it is the ones glory to overlook an offense I love this wisdom I love I like that in general it is the best thing for our life to just let it go because here's the truth if we just whatever it is if we just let it go a hundred percent of the time I mean think about the last year of your life everything that offended you if you just let it go how many of those things would you have regretted just letting it go very few very few if we just in other words the wisdom is to err on the side of just letting it go and in the writer of this proverb says it's actually to your glory to do that to overlook an offense will lead you to somehow being exalted and that's true in general that's true now sometimes you need to be angry about something because there's severe injustice and you need to stand up for yourself but but but in in general in general if we just let it go a hundred percent of the time we'd only regret it about two percent of the time it's in general a great wisdom way to live here's here's Ecclesiastes 7 the end of the matter is better than the beginning how true is that in other words if you don't overreact in the heat of the moment and just wait and see how it plays out more often than not it works itself out more often than not it works itself out without you interjecting your influence right the end of the matter is better than the beginning and patience is better than pride so true do not be quickly provoked in your spirit for anger resides in the lap of fools yes of course it does no blood in the brain it's a problem right right all right this is Matthew chapter five this is Jesus now this is out of the wisdom tradition this is like red-letter Jesus stuff but I tell you that anyone who's angry with a brother or sisters subject to judgment again anyone who says to brother sister raka is answerable to the court and anyone who says you fool will be danger of the fires of hell now let's just stop right there and and let's admit that that's pretty serious like like when you think about things like heaven and hell do you include people who have a propensity to call people idiots or fools as people who are the people in danger of Hell like like does that does that include it think about our life let's just let's just wrestle with this for a second great sermons are not meant to be agreed with nor disagreed with great sermons are meant to make us wrestle okay how have we done with that how have we done with our propensity to call someone a fool or an idiot to talk down to their intelligence to elevate ourselves above them now just to alleviate a bit of tension the word translated hell here is is the hell on earth it was the the garbage dump in the end of Jerusalem it wasn't the after death hell Jesus isn't saying if someone cut you off in traffic and you say what an idiot that you're in danger of going to hell when you die that would be a very uncompelled story but it is saying if we make a pattern of elevating ourselves above other people it will ruin our life our life can end up on the trashy your like and it totally will you making it you make a habit of calling people idiots eventually people you can fight you can look around one day and you're gonna be alone and you might be right and you might be smarter than everybody but you're by yourself and no one's listening like you could be right but be wrong at the top of your voice it's it's it's just as problem here's um here's James this is the brother of Jesus my dear brothers and sisters take note of this everyone should be quick to listen slow to speak slow to become angry because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires so that evidently there's a human anger and then there's some sort of divining or in the tension is between the two how do we navigate that here's proverbs 22 this is back to the wisdom tradition do not make friends with a hot-tempered person don't even associate with sun someone who's easily angered or you may learn their ways and your self being snared by it this is how proverbs 27 verse 4 anger is cruel and fury overwhelming but who can stand before jealousy that's so true here's here's the psychology of jealousy the psychology of jealousy is normally reasonable people can rationalize doing violent things when they get jealous of somebody else and that's true when you see someone who's normally reasonable and they they normally they're doing something out of character they're asked they're acting in a way that it's going to intentionally hurt somebody at the heart of that normally reasonable person normally there's envy or jealousy there that we got caught in some comparison trap we say wait a minute wait a minute there's Envy there's jealousy there and normally reasonable people rationalize hurting others who could stand before that is what the writer of that proverb says here's Ephesians 34 chapter 4 it says get rid of all bitterness rage anger brawling and slander all those things are related rage anger brawling slander talking bad about others along with every form of malice but rather be kind and compassionate to one another forgiving each other just as God in Christ forgave you because when we see in the church we talked a lot about the cross and resurrection and we should write we embrace that it's the but here's the gospel in a nutshell while we were acting hostile to God God acted first to make peace with us in other words God is a God that doesn't retaliate that's the that's the gospel nutshell we're acting hostile when God's going hang around I got this I got this hey it's gonna be okay it's gonna be okay God is the son that he is the Lord the Lord he is compassionate gracious slow to anger abounding love of goodness and here's the thing here's where we go with that right the cross and resurrection should not be something we believe in although we do the cross and resurrection should be more profound than that the cross and resurrection should not be something we believe in like we affirm a bullet point on a pamphlet the cross and resurrection should be something that happened that fundamentally shifts the way we see our whole world after that and so Paul's going postal Hey how connected are you to the Christ on the cross how can I eat it eat it how how can it are you so connected that you could put away anger and brawling and malice and slander and the things associated the thing and rather put on kindness and compassion why because no matter what they did no matter what they did for us to reflect God to our world if they're acting hostile we should be coming back with peace right jesus said it this way that the peacemakers are the sons of God the peacemakers are the sons of God see we sing songs like I'm no longer a slave to fear I am a child of God really have we acted and if we are child if we are children of God are we acting like sons of God by making peace our basic disposition in conflict Jesus your basic disposition in conflict is a very big telling point as to whether you're acting like a son of God or not not in a way that believes it but in a way that fundamentally uses that thing to shift the way we see our whole world this is a this is Ephesians I'm sorry proverbs chapter 19 verse 11 fools give full fit to their rage but the wise can bring calm in the end I love this what wisdom wisdom is a character in the biblical narrative they tend to anthropomorphize wisdom and and by the way it's always anthropomorphize as a woman which whatever but here's the thing it's it's wisdom is always acting a certain way and a fool is the converse of that he says a hey if you want to be wise don't give full bit dear that the idea that all usually to get it out no fools give it there might be a better way and then of course in Ephesians 4 verse 26 Paul says be angry and do not sin so just before he says put away all anger he tells us to be angry no which is so weird it's the tension we talked about at the beginning anger something you cannot afford in your life you can't but in another way you can't afford not to have it he says hey be angry and do not sin o it put away all forms of anger for human anger does not produce their weight what's going on here and how do we navigate that tension I love the way the rabbi's teach this I cannot teach it any better so I'm not anything to change it here's what they say about be angry and do not sin they read it in reverse and here's what they say if you can discipline your heart to stay angry at the right things you won't have enough energy left to do the wrong things right I love that I love that another if you can stay if you can if you can discipline your heart to be focused ly angry on the right things then you won't have enough energy left to participate in things that will destroy you like I'll give you a example like um might one of my heroes Kyla Alexander she runs the orphanage in China that we that we support and uh she's given her life she's 42 she gave up any thought of being married or having her own family and and she gave her life to to helping the plight of the poor and the afflicted and the mentally handicapped children who've been left on the street in China and so amazing person amazing person here's what I've noticed about Kyla and I've hung out with Kyla something when Kyla's back in Australia she's formal straight with Kyle is back in Australia on furlough just to get a break from the whole thing I've never seen Kyla get mad at traffic never I've never seen Kyla get angry at a waiter who was taking too long to get your order never I never I've never I've never seen Kyla lose her temper at the things I've seen other Australian road rage is such a problem it made international news okay right they they did CNN did this international thing on road rage and Australians came in number one and they had they had cameras they had cameras showing stuff Australians get up to like the stuff going on in Makai between between motorists and cyclists I mean you got people threatening people's lives with crowbars things like this right like they they had bad videos of Australian getting out at a red light and getting out with a crowbar walking toward another car and hitting it this was on video right now now honestly I I'm not saying Americans are better okay I'm just simply saying you would never see that in America ever ever and the reason is is because we all carry guns in the car right right you never seen American welcome to another America's card no no no bro you gonna get shot right right but here's the thing you say why do we have road rage I think we have road rage because we haven't focused our anger energies on the in the correct places it's not that we need less anger I think we need that same amount of anger but we just need to focus it on the plight of the mentally handicapped in China we need to focus it on the plight of sex trafficking we need to focus it on the plight of injustice we need to focus it on those things if we took a hundred percent of all that energy but when we when we take when we're not putting it towards those right things well we don't focus on those righteous things well we don't do that then we have all this pent-up energy it's gonna do something it's coming out somewhere oh that waitress man she took too long to get my drink I'm gonna tell her about herself oh that guy cut me off I mean like in people like like Kyle Alexander or brandon eckert who's given his life to restore the poor and the afflicted in the indicate town flats he doesn't he doesn't come to also he's been dealt stray and he's healing I've flown him out for a few things he doesn't I've never seen him get upset at a waitress he's just happy to be sitting in to him what would be paradise I mean to someone who grew up in the poor areas of Audrey in k-town for them to come to tomba this is heaven and they look at us ago what are you you're angry about your you're angry about what in the without being able to say it this way they're there you need to get out more right like this is so be angry and sin not is is a call to focus our anger energies not have the cure for angers not have less of it we don't we need more of it we actually need more of it but but it's it's to focus it in a different direction to replace it so like if you find yourself flying off the handle at stupid stuff the cure is not to fight that the cure is not to come and say come on pastors pray for me too I lose my anger problem no and so it it's not it's not the cure is not the cure I believe in prayer but the cure for angers not prayer the cure for anger is replacing it to something else you only have 100 percent of energy you only have that and if you put it over there it can't be true here can't be true here right now now that's the wisdom on it so I want to I want to now look at the way to people handled anger so two specific people in the scripture and how they handled anger and here's how we know how they handled it because they wrote it down this is really cope right okay because because when someone really doesn't just things to you the best way to handle it is evidently to write a poem about it right and so this guy so the first one is written by a guy named David here's the context right his son has started a civil war against him and is looking to kill it so he's round up a bunch of enemies and they're coming against David and David is bringing this situation to God why is he bringing it to God cuz David believed that God's throne is made of justice and righteousness and so he's bringing the offense to God and here's what he says this is Psalm 3 Lord how many are my foes how many rise up against me many are saying of me God won't deliver him but you O Lord are a shield about me you're my glory the one who lifts my head high so far so good right we sing that song it's an older song but Thou O Lord our shield about me you're my glory there's wait this is there's something about us that connects with this people are coming against me and God's gonna stand with me you're coming against me but God stays away this is something that we all connect with and so far so good I call out to the Lord and he answers me from his holy mountain I lie down and sleep I wake again because the Lord sustains me I will not fear though tens of thousands of sail me on every side so far so good arise Lord deliver me my god this is like so full of faith then it takes a drastic turn watch this next sentence strike all my enemies on the jaw break the teeth of the wicked from the Lord comes deliverance may their blessing be on the people everything's like Oh Lord you're gonna defend me you're gonna stand with me you're gonna you're gonna do this thing oh by the way in the process of that if you wouldn't mind breaking their jaw know a couple things about this one this is a poem this is not God talking this is David writing his feelings down this is not there's no record of God breaking Absalom jaw right and that's actually not what this is about this isn't even about God approving of what David's wanting this is about this is about us connecting with how to handle offence and David's going here's how I handled it I affirmed lots of truth that God is still hey I woke up this morning and I'm still alive hey that's true hey they're coming against me but look I'm still here oh oh hey you did your worst and I'm still standing here man well yeah yeah absolutely hey hey hey I'm gonna remind myself that God sustains my life and that God is with me and if tens of thousands of Selmy arise O Lord and defend me hey we should identify with that but it's also okay to identify with the natural emotion of I would prefer God to break their jaw that's also okay as well to go go wait a minute wait a minute he's instead of breaking Absalom's jaw himself he takes the offense and the offender and he brings it to the throne of the one whose throne is made of justice and righteousness and he leaves it with him he leaves it with him that's one instance here's another instance from Psalm 137 now this is written by a Jewish priest on who is nameless and here's all we know about him we know that he was taken captive by Nebuchadnezzar to Babylon this well we know which means that's not all we know because we know what Nebuchadnezzar did to people when he took him captive here's what they did they if you were over the age of 30 you died because you were useless if you were under the age of 8 you died because you were useless but they would do it in a real or in this way they would take babies and they would take him by their feet and they would find a stone and in front of a crowd they would bash their head against the stone it would be called terrorism right if you were between the ages of eight and thirty you were kept for slavery if you were a woman if you were a Jewish priest and you were taken captive your wife would have been gang-raped to death by a platoon of Nebuchadnezzar soldiers she would have been made a sex slave if you if you were a guy sometimes they put your eyes out sometimes they didn't but but with a priest they would put them through a thing they would crush their testicles right they would hold him down and they'd crush their testicles between between two rocks because they didn't want them reproducing a potential revolt and so think about if you're this guy what have you Austan one day every you lost your wife your children your job your temple your land your faith you'd be like where is God in all this everything's getting nothing around so you've lost you've lost your wife your children your home your land your job your title your position you're gonna be put in Chains and March to Babylon and be forced to serve as a slave to temple of Ishtar and you've lost your testicles in one day would you agree with me that that's a pretty bad day right like how was your week right like oh man I lost my wife and my kids and my job and my home my land and they crushed my testicles I mean whatever you think about that that's a really bad flippin day and how do you handle that well evidently you write a poem here's what he writes by the rivers of Babylon we wept when we remembered Zion there on the poplars we hung our harps for there our captors asked us for songs our tormentors demanded songs of joy sing us your so this is this is slave drivers forcing slaves to entertain them sing boy sing come on entertain us that's not good enough come on keep singing keep singing it's just horrendous how can we sing the songs of the Lord while in a foreign land if I forget you Jerusalem may my right hand forget it's skill may the tongue cling to the roof of my mouth if I do not remember you if you do if I don't consider Jerusalem my highest joy then he then he switches gears watch this remember Oh Lord what the did on that day that Jerusalem fell tear it down they cried tear it down to its foundations Oh daughter Babylon doomed to be destroyed happy is the one who repays you for what you have done to us happy is the one who seizes your infant's and dashes them against the rocks remember it this is this is a poem this is not God writing this this is not God going oh I love it when people kill children this is not this is a guy whose children's heads were dashed against rocks and he's bringing that offense and the offender to the one whose throne is made of justice and righteousness and he's going hey you saw it didn't you hey you know what I can't do anything about it I can't do anything about it here's what I'm gonna do I'm gonna bring the offense and the offender to the one whose throne is made of justice of righteous I'm gonna leave it with you I'm gonna leave it with you so that this doesn't become a problem I'm gonna leave it I'm gonna I'm gonna leave that with you and I'm gonna put my anger energy somewhere else I'm gonna put my anger energies and partnering with you to do what you want to do in the world but the offense and the offender I gotta bring it to you you think shame okay what do we do with all this let me let me bring this down for us okay a couple thoughts on this one something should make us angry it should those things should make us angry and if they don't I don't think we're alive and actually I would take it a step further I think focusing our anger at the things that should make us angry is the cure for dealing with the anger we can't afford to have in our life the cure for anger is not less anger the cure for anger might be more anger it might be focusing it though in a different direction as Paul said be angry but don't sin a couple thoughts on this next one by bringing natural anger to God it places the situation in God's hand and exposes a belief that he loves justice it's a profound trust that God's throne is made of justice and righteousness and we're powerless to do it ourselves and actually when we try to do it ourselves we tend to stuff it up and it's bringing the offense and the offender to the throne of the one whose throne is made of justice and righteousness and leaving it there it's that let's say it this way these are not well scripted holy prayers I love that about those Psalms like there's there's no self-protection if you were secretly hoping other people's children's heads got bashed against stones that would be something you'd probably want to keep on the down-low right probably want to hold that to yourself you probably you probably if you accidentally said that out loud you'd be hoping no one was recording it like I can at least deny it right right that's not what you see if you wanted if you wanted your son's jaw to be broken from another Psalm David says hey would you take my enemies and bash their teeth into the gravel like the image is taken by the back of the head you know um these are not self protective prayers they're not presumptuous they're not what I find really inspiring about these poems is there was this profound sense with them that God already knows what's in my heart anyway I may as well be honest I may as well just get hey hey hey I it for me to pretend God doesn't already know what's going on is a whole nother profound lack of trust and a small view of God if I acknowledge that God already knows what's going on and it's thrown and made of justice of righteousness I'm actually okay and actually the healthiest thing to do with a fence and the offender is to be as raw as I can in poetry form to God that way I don't actually hurt a human being I'm gonna get it out here that way I don't actually hurt you there and that is wisdom that is wisdom to bring that that maybe God doesn't want our perfection he wants our honesty let's say it let's say this way to bring the offense and the offender to the hands of God events is our trust for justice and righteousness to prevail without our intervention if God's in control and he loves justice and righteousness it prevents that events as a profound trust I don't have to intervene in this situation to for justice and righteousness to prevail I can bring it to God and leave it there it's there if your parent understands like there's two things you do not have to teach children you don't have to teach them this you don't have to teach them to take revenge you know if your five-year-old takes your three-year-olds toy heat that three you don't have to teach that three-year-old to hit the five-year-old and try to get the toy back nor vice versa you don't hey you don't have to teach children when they do you wrong do them wrong worse not to teach that that's just in this it's in our D it's in our blood it's in our blood before it's in our head it's a natural reaction you don't have to teach children to take revenge nor do you have to teach children to tell when they feel hopeless you know you know teacher and and every parent has dealt with that every parent has worked 50 hours in the week and it's Friday night and you're having a peaceful night home and you got three children in the back playing somewhere but they're leaving you alone and this is just heaven on earth and you're sitting on the couch and you and your wife are watching Netflix and you're just enjoying the next episode of Everybody Loves Raymond in a watch session and then in all of that piece in the middle of all that piece right you hear from the backroom a scream I'm telling and everything in your heart goes please don't come out here write everything and as an adult we understand that right and and then they come out and they tell why because you don't you don't have to teach children when they get to the end of their ability to fix it themselves to go tell the one who can control the thing you know I've teaching that know she said and maybe that's what a childlike faith is maybe that's part of what is I went when I was when I was a kid me and my brother we talked our next-door neighbor into letting us shave his eyebrows right and and halfway through this we realized we're never gonna get away with this right but here's what we told him we said we're starting a gang we're starting like a club you know not like gang bang but like think think little rascals or something right and so we're like eight but we got to have a mark and what's going to mark us as part of the gang is we're gonna be the gang of no eyebrows and we and so we got him all revved up about this we said well you're gonna go first right and then of course we shaved his eyebrows and none of us else did and we're like right and I think we realized I think we were always halfway through there's no way we're getting because there's no way his mom's not gonna notice he has no eyebrows right right and so when he realized that we weren't gonna shave our eyebrows and he was the butt of the joke he this I'm tellin and then terror filled us right because he's a tells mom she so tell her mom our dad's gonna get the belt out or whatever oh man we shaved his eyebrows that was fun for a second right does it so he runs he runs across street I don't know we followed I don't know what we were thinking anyway we should have went I kid but not I week we went and followed and his mom must have been having one of those days and he runs into the house and he says mom they shaved my eyebrows off you know and I could still remember where I was standing I remember her face I remember everything about it she turned and she went I don't care yes yes now as an adult I get that right but I was so glad she was having one of those days then and I think I think a childlike faith is simply that how do you handle anger you bring the offense and the offender you you acknowledge your helplessness to solve it and you bring it to the one who can and then you leave it with him I believe your throne is justice and righteousness so profoundly that if I just bring this to you I'm gonna let you handle that and then it frees us to put our anger somewhere else let's say it this way to authentically bring our offense and the offender to God will start to heal or so but it can be frustrating the reason is is because God doesn't work on our timetable or because they appear to be getting away with it I was talking to it there was a this was years ago an eight-month pregnant woman her husband left her for another woman that that is I don't know the whole situation but that appears in just and of course I was the pastor on call that week so when she came I had to I was the one that had to deal with that and and so I was working with her along and alone along and eventually later I told her I said listen because things had begin to work out settlin I said look I got a challenger but you're gonna have to forgive him just for yourself you've got it you can't live you know torment it and you got to lose the man Haiti thing and I said here's the reason why you want to be married again and women who perpetually hate men don't tend to draw high quality men because high quality men are repelled when people hate them right right but I saw understood her plight but I also understood where she wanted to go right and this is what she said she said you know what makes that so hard she said I know you're right when you know it makes her so hard she said he's getting away with it I'm the single mom and he's loving his life now the fallacy in that is he wasn't loving his life they're sowing and reaping you got to lay down with yourself you got to shave with yourself in the mirror there's stuff going on she'd never know he appeared to be getting away with it he appeared to be getting away with it eventually she was able to bring the offense and the offender to the one who's thrown is justice and righteousness and leave it there and she to this day is happily married to a great great guy God restored that I think I think it'd be frustrated because we realized God loves them as much as he loves us and that could be frustrating you bring the offense and the offender to God and then this realization is Oh God loves them too that's frustrating that's frustrating I think because offenses we have done come to mind and we don't want justice there's something about bringing the offense and the offender to the one who's thrown as justice and righteousness that ooh and while we're asking God to break their jaw we remember a wrong we did and we're just hoping God doesn't break our jaw and then we realize Oh am i wanting mercy for myself and then justice for everybody else you know that can't work is that so so bringing it to the one who's thrown is just righteous is healthy but can be frustrating so a couple of things to end this in terms of questions I want us to rest a little bit one where should we up our anger are we even alive if you say I struggle with anger on occasion with a cure for that it's not to fight it the cure for that is to increase it but put it somewhere else give your life passionately to something something use that energy to to make a difference in someone's world - what who or what do we need to unload on God maybe even go home today and and and with and without publishing it on Facebook like I I think the wisdom here is don't press send right don't press send God God's got it right right write a poem or write a letter write a journal entry that tells that is raw and honest about how you feel about the offense and the offender and then leave it at the throne of the one whose throne is made of justice and righteousness where do we need to release it where are we frustrated and holding on I'm going to end the day with a thought from the Apostle Paul about what it means to be so profoundly connected to the cross that it affects how we see our whole world here is this from the book of Romans chapter 12 here it goes bless those who persecute you bless and do not curse what an amazing thing because that's it exactly what Jesus did they're persecuting him he's forgiving he's blessing like how connected are we to that side of the cross how connected we to that rejoice with those who rejoice mourn with those who mourn I love that wit that's so wise in other words take the temperature of the room if they're sad don't come in overpowering them with rejoicing you know if if if someone's child just died that's not the time to quote Romans 8:28 all things are gonna work together right it's like what take that somewhere else right hey take the temperature of the room sometimes it's time to challenge people to joy so does it's time to just sit with them and mourn take the temperature of the room it's wisdom wisdom live in harmony with one another do not be proud but be willing to associate with people of lower position than you do not be conceited do not repay anyone evil for evil be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everyone if it is possible as far as it depends on you live at peace do not take revenge my dear friends but leave room for God's wrath for it is written in his mind to avenge I will repay when we take it on ourselves to be the Avenger we're essentially saying to God I'm better at your job than you leave that to me and we'll always be frustrated on the contrary if your enemy is hungry feed him if he's thirsty give him something to drink in doing this you'll heat burning coals on his head without going into it that's a good thing in Jewish culture do not overcome do not be overcome by evil but overcome evil with good the cure for anger is not less of it here for angers more of it focused in the right direction so I bless you to be people who focus your passion and your energy it's not gonna get any less don't fight it you fight it you'll empower it simply replace it be angry and do not sin let me pray for us we love you Lord we honor you we proclaim your king there's none like you nor we bring this morning launch it just take a second and think about what we talked about is there a place where you need to bring the offense and the offender to the one whose throne is justice and righteousness and leave it there is there any place you need to quit pretending that it didn't hurt it's any place you need to quit pretending that you actually don't want them harmed it's okay to say no in my in my natural heart I do want them harm but I want to bring that to the throne of the one who's just and righteous and I'm gonna events a profound trust that he's got this maybe as a therapy or something you could spend some time this afternoon writing a poem or a journal entry and be wrong maybe maybe you could admit hey you know what I've tried to protect myself with God I don't want him to know the things going on the heart but he already knows and he likes you anyway maybe we could just bring those things amen amen would you like this play thanks so much for let me be a part of your world you're very kind to me I love this place I love you guys I'm so glad to be a part of this every year hope you got a lot out of that may Jesus be glorified the cross be magnified may Scriptures be bigger and not smaller and may we take our offense and the offender and leave them at the foot of the throne made of justice and righteousness until I see in this week grace apiece

Channel: New Hope Church

Views: 4,635

Rating: 4.7460318 out of 5

Keywords: new hope, church, toowoomba

Id: H9Yz-CSxIwM

Length: 43min 22sec (2602 seconds)

Published: Sun Feb 17 2019