DawnCheré Wilkerson — Make or Break: Watch Your Mouth

but we've been in the middle of this conversation on relationship it's been a collection of talks entitled make or break why some relationships lasts and others don't and you may not know it but God's Word speaks straight to our relationships we should be talking about relationships in God's house because God is the one who has given us these relationships solely through his wisdom that we can steward them so we've been having the conversation and each week we've grown together but today we're going to continue that convo so if you have your Bibles why don't you turn with me to Psalm chapter 141 Psalm chapter 141 verse 3 it says this set a guard O Lord over my mouth keep watch over the door of my lips and then proverbs 18 says this it'll be on the screams says death and life are in the power of the tongue and those who love it eat of its fruit I want to talk to you for the next few moments on this thought watch your mouth oh this is gonna be a fun service their new neighbors they like your mouth no no marriage fights gonna erupt right now we're gonna join in prayer before we begin Laura thank you so much for today god I thank you for every person in this room I thank you that you're here god I thank you that there's freedom and life for every relationship every situation as we just look to you so god we open up our hearts we ask you to speak we're listening and it's in Jesus name that I pray and everybody said amen well two weeks ago a groundbreaking event took place in my home I mean this was a huge moment a moment that I've really been waiting for for an entire year see I have a one-year-old son named Wyatt and Wyatt well I'm just gonna cut to the chase Wyatt just said his first word see he says his first word in like as a mom I've been dreaming of this day for a long time like I wondered what is the word that he's gonna say is he gonna say mama is he gonna say mom he's very advanced perhaps he'll say mother and the day comes for him to speak his first word and you know he says dad are you kidding me I only carried you in my stomach for the last nine months I feed you I change your diapers I save your life multiple times a minute I looked at him I said watch your mouth son I'm just kidding I'm actually really happy that he said dad I think he has the best dad in the world I hope his dad's always this hero always his best friend always the one he wants to be like but why it's learning to speak and he has one word he's kinda saying bah bah he's gonna add a few more words but he's gonna add so many more as his life progresses and one of the greatest joys and one of the greatest responsibilities of my life will be the conversations that I have with my son see why it's learning how to speak but I'm still learning to speak also I'm still learning I'm learning how to speak I'm learning when to speak I'm also learning what to say and so was the psalmist when he says Oh Lord set a guard over my mouth set watch over the doors of my lips he's praying God teach me how to speak teach me how to have the conversations that you want why because the Bible is really clear that our words hold more power than we could ever imagine see my prayer for you today is that we all together awaken once again to just how powerful our words are it's not because I say so because your friend says so it's because the Word of God says that the power of life or death is in the tongue but it doesn't just say at once throughout the scriptures it's reiterated over and over and over again as if to say I can't say this enough that what you say really really matters it says that a tongue with one spark can set a forest ablaze it reminds us in the creation story that God Himself spoke into existence and that if we are made in the image of God then we too are able to speak and lice springs forth the Word of God gives us example after example basically saying to you and I hate watch your mouth watch your mouth but I don't think it's that simple because if I just looked at you today and I just said talk better I don't think it would solve much but because I think all of us want to talk better we want to talk right but what is right how do we speak you see I think that far before the sinesses roll off of our tongue that there's a process that put them there and that we have to understand the process in order for us to understand how to speak and so today we're gonna look to the Word of God and we're gonna understand how those words got there and how we too can speak a life and see our relationships flourish the way that God intended them to for our relationships to flourish it doesn't start with our mouth does it start with a watching our mouth but it starts when you watch your heart Luke chapter 6 verse 45 says the good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks meaning that those words didn't just appear on your tongue they have a source and that source is your heart now here's the thing you don't know your neighbors heart you don't know your spouse's heart but God knows your heart and you know your heart therefore you are responsible to watch your heart and your heart is inextricably tied to your tongue see your hearts tongue-tied when your heart is tied to the pursuit of happiness to your own gain your heart is tied there your tongue is tied there also when your heart is tied to your own achievements to your own glory to your own recognition you watch your tongue it's tied there also when your heart is tied to rebellion proving that you can do what you want when you want say what you want feel what you want believe what you want guess what your tongue is tied there also but a good news for us is that when our tongue is tied to the heart of God when our tongue is tied to the Word of God that is truth it doesn't matter the words of darkness that we once spoke doesn't matter the things that we're ashamed of from our past it doesn't matter the destruction that our lips once breathes we now have our tongue tied to life giving power to truth that brings forth beauty that we could never create on our own your heart is tongue-tied sometimes we get it confused in church people walk in they don't know Jesus we want them to change the way they speak before we give God time to change their heart it doesn't work that way God didn't come just so you could say the right words he came for a complete life change he comes he came so that you could have a brand new life and out of that new life out of that new heart comes a new language comes a new way of speaking that you no longer speak the way you once did but now you are being taught you see James chapter one verse 26 says if you claim to be religious but don't control your tongue you're fooling yourself your religion is worthless you're fooling yourself well I don't want to come to church and play Church on Sunday I don't want to fool myself I want to be able to control the words that come out of my mouth I want my heart to align with the promises of God with the life of the Spirit that is within me see my words are not in and of themselves my words are tied to my heart and I can say one thing but my heart can believe another in the words I say have no truth they have no power because it's only when my words speak what my heart truly believes that I'm able to speak the life that God has called me to God is called every single one of us to speak life man looks at the exterior but God looks at the heart and he's able to see our heart but so are we the Scriptures tell us hey watch your heart because out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks I grew up in a large family I grew up in a family with five brothers one sister and my mom and dad are both musicians and writers and so I grew up with a studio in our home where from the time I was 2 years old until I was 16 years old I recorded every month and it really wasn't the plan that my mom had that I would grow up recording children's music it grew out of a hearts desire that we would be best friends so my mom is raising all these kids we had a chaotic crazy fun home but my mom's desire was that we would be best friends and so she first just wrote this song for us to teach her own children called we're gonna be the best buddies it said we're gonna be the best buddiez this world has ever seen will be loyal to each other and will share everything I know it sounds like a miracle but that's just what will be because with Jesus he'll make buddies out of you and me and she wrote it and she taught it to us but why did she do that because she realized that she wanted to put words in our mouth and a thought in our heart that we weren't gonna be like the status-quo family that when the family around us said oh your kids should be selfish your kids should not want to share it's normal it's okay your kids should fight she said you know what I want to put a different idea in their hearts that it may be a miracle but it'll be a miracle of God that you'll grow to be best friends you'll grow to be each other's support you'll grow to be loyal to one another and you know what that's exactly what transpired my brothers and my sisters we're not perfect we have arguments just like anybody else but they're my dearest friends why because the words that we spoke hundreds of songs that are repeated and that I learned that I spoke they all of a sudden were speaking and creating life it's not enough just to speak it I used to be in the studio it's a little kid my mom would put me in the box and she's saying okay put your headphones on I want you to say this but I want you to say it oh just say it with joy she says say God loves you with joy I try it I'd say it a few times and have my lines to say we'd be talking about how much God loves the kids that we would be speaking to but then she'd always stop me and she'd say now this time Don Cherie I want you to think about what you're saying I want you to imagine as you say God loves you a little boy who's in his car and has never been told that him has never been told before that God loves him as you say that you have a purpose I want you to think about that person who feels defeated who fills down who's being bullied at school who's being made fun of and as you say that I want you to speak like you're speaking directly to them what was she doing she was connecting my heart with my words because she knew if I felt it in my heart that my words would go for it and strength that my words would go forward with life that my words would actually build something up and some of us we're in a make-or-break moment because here we are and we're trying to say the right thing but our heart is not there I wanna encourage you today watch your heart watch your heart if you're having a rough time with your words go back to the root go back to your heart but sure because your heart can twist and change the words that you speak there's another thing I learned in the studio it's called tone and tone can change the meaning of a word tone means the quality tone can mean even colors that's a tone tone can mean the strength of the muscles its tone but tone means for the quality of the word to give depth or to give meaning and can I encourage you it's not just what you say but it's how you say it and how you say it really depends on how your hearts doing because you may want to say the right thing but your heart's not in the right place and all the sudden the words that are supposed to bring healing just dig you in a deeper hole because it's the tone the battle talks to us about tone the Bible says in proverbs 15:1 a soft answer turns away wrath but a harsh and ER answer it stirs up anger say in your tone matters some of us we may not be yelling we may not be screaming we may not be cursing at our spouse but man our tone is saying a whole lot of stuff totus and a lot more than the words that come out that how many of you know that when somebody speaks to you kindly it changes the atmosphere when somebody decides in a tense moment to just speak a love all of a sudden it completely diffuses the fire that's been lit how many of you would say I want to be the person this speaks life but speaks it from the depths of my soul I want people to hear my heart as I speak because no matter what you say if you don't say it from your heart it's not gonna work it starts with a heart we gotta watch our heart secondly watch your attention turn to your neighbors say watch your attention even a healthy heart can turn sideways based upon what it's listening to bad company corrupts good character what does that mean that's a healthy heart I got something good going on good character bad company what the hearts listening to but the heart is surrounding itself with all the sudden things start to change from the inside out we have to watch our attention my son is learning how to speak and the truth is is that he's learning to speak from me how is he learning how to speak is because I'm speaking to him every single day he's sitting at tables he's hearing conversations and he said dad dad because that's the language that we speak he was born in another country he may speak a completely different language if he was born in another house on my street he may speak another language views born another family he may speak a different language but in our house this is the language we speak and so this is the language that he's learning it comes naturally because why he hears it some of us were fluent in gossip some of us are fluent in slander some of us are fluent in negativity fluent and telling it how it is flew it and getting it off my chest fluent and erupting an anger flew it and not saying anything at all why because it's what we have experienced and it's what we've been taught but just like you've been taught to be fluent in those things isn't it beautiful that as you start to fill your attention with life that you can become fluent and speaking love thick you can become fluent and speaking faith you can become fluent and speaking to that which is not as if it is the Deaf can become your language that can become what you know we all know those family moments when a kid comes into the living room and shouts out something that's completely inappropriate that only in my family one of the grandkids wanders in the living room Thanksgiving Christmas shouts a curse word or something that's inappropriate and what did the parents do they go where did he hear that and all the uncles are like it was not me all the hands are like it was not me but a parent saying what he learned it from somewhere he didn't just make it up see what we speak we learned it from somewhere we've been listening to something we've been ingesting something we've been surrounding ourselves with something and it can be life and it can be death but it is dictating how we speak so you got a watch your attention the physical ability like just the ability for you to speak so much of your ability to speak is based on your ability to hear it's it's very very difficult to speak if you can't hear I should be a beautiful picture to every single one of us that that what we're listening to the ease and comfort at which we get coffee with a girlfriend and and talk about other people's lives that we're learning a language that the conversation around the water cooler lunch break that tears down others makes fun of others that we're learning a language but isn't it beautiful a conversations it also be full of life they could also be teaching us a language that that we once never knew but now because of Christ in us we now speak a different tongue we now speak the spirits language we now are able to speak life and truth and hope where there was distrust and broken this we're able now to speak healing listening is the way that we learn I will hide your word in my heart now I may not sin against you Lord faith comes by hearing faith comes by hearing so sometimes I get in a place where man I need more faith I'm having a hard time speaking my faith having a hard time believing God's best for my situation having a hard time believing God can turn this around a hard time believing there can be peace in my home a hard time believing that there's something better ahead ah okay so faith comes by hearing I actually need the Word of God in me in order for me to speak it we have to watch our heart we have to watch our attention once we watch your attention then we get to it baby watch your words we actually get to the nitty-gritty what's coming out of our mouth on a daily basis what kind of words do we want to speak well we want to speak God's Word but sometimes for tongue-tied sometimes we feel the inability we don't feel like we have the strength to speak what we know we should speak maybe it's stubbornness in us maybe it's selfishness maybe it's it and maturity I don't know what it is but we all get in places in our life where we are tongue-tied we are held hostage by our tongues I want to remind you today it may not be your circumstance that is holding you back it might not just be your spouse that is confining you you may be held back by your tongue today it might just be your inability or willingness to speak life when you desperately when your marriage desperately when your kids desperately need you to speak it we can't be tongue tied my tongue tethers me to that which I speak many of us because we discount or underestimate the power of our words we don't look at our tongue as a tether as a tie to what we speak we look at it as a release I'm just I'm releasing it let me tell you you're not releasing it your words are not a release your word is a rope your words are tying to something your words are either being tied to life or your words are being tied to death but it's not just spoken and then forgotten it's spoken and then it starts creating because your words are powerful and all of us today we need to understand you're not getting it off your chest you're putting it on your chest you're not just letting off hot steam you are filling up your future with your words your words can create a life of restoration a life of joy a life of mercy a life of grace your words can create a life that the world looks at and goes this is so countercultural this is so crazy they should be broken beyond repair but somehow they're standing strong they're not just standing they got a smile on their face they don't like just have a smile on their face but they're actually empowering others to find the life that they have found how many of you believe today that that's God's will for your life that you would be a life speaker that you would watch your words well how do you do it you've just got to go for it speak it out my children will live for God my marriage it will be full of peace and grace my home will be full of the presence of God my team that I serve on we're not just managers we're expanding the work of God in Miami we're building the work of God in Miami we'll see miracles great forth in this house we'll see new territory taken we'll see our city turned upside down for the glory of let me speak it out and then let God start to create what only he can we have values in this house Jesus is our message people our heart generosity is our privilege excellence is our spirit servant leadership is our identity honors are calling passion is our pursuit they're awesome to say on Sunday but you know where the real power comes is when you adopt them as values for your life because all those values are from the Word of God and they should be things that you're constantly talking about Jesus is our message Jesus is the message of my marriage have to come to a revelation of that for there to be power in my relationship so so I can say that Jesus is my message but do I ever talk about Jesus with my spouse watch your words do it do I talk about Jesus with my spouse what he's doing Oh what he's speaking how Jesus is the message of my marriage people are our heart that's not just for this house that's for my house people are all heart that means at my dining room table there's always room for one more that means that we speak words of inclusion of the invitation of a love of grace that we choose to teach our son people are our heart no son your life isn't all about you i'm gonna use my words to convey that you will find joy when you live for others you will find joy when you speak life over others why because people are our heart and i can't just say it one day of the week i've gotta speak it out continually generosity is our privilege so it's not something that i get in an argument about with my spouse it's something that I dream and envision with my spouse that we're talking about how we can be generous we're talking about how we can build the kingdom of God we're talking with our son about the joy that it is to release what is in your hand because when God can trust you he just keeps pouring out come on is anybody with me there's power and we miss out because we just think that is something that's typed on a page for growth track no friend you're missing out on the depth of the power this is how we should use our words excellence is our spirit I don't want a mediocre marriage there may come times where I have to be honest and say you know what right now it's so-so or right now maybe it's not even so so right now it's in a tough spot but I have to go you know what excellence is my spirit so even though we're not here right now I'm gonna I'm gonna take one foot in front of the other and I'm gonna start walking this thing out I'm gonna desire more I'm gonna believe four more I'm gonna speak out more as I start to speak with a vision of excellence for my home I know things are gonna change in my house passion is our pursuit come on some of the married people need to get a revelation of that today that we're to speak passionately to the one that we love that we're to convey the depth of emotion I've been with the same man for 17 years and it's easy to get to the place where you're like you know what he already knows that I think he's a great man he already knows that I love him that I think that he's handsome that I'm so proud of him but but you know what he needs to hear it today he needs to know that I'm passionate about him today and as I let my heart go there first my words follow has I let my heart go there first unable to come to a place where the value of Honor is my calling then I'm vocal with my honor that my kids know that I love them that I honor them that I see something extraordinary in them that maybe they don't even see in themselves I'm gonna use my words just speak to the void and God do the miraculous so let me tell you it is make or break it is make or break that we awaken July and the death that is in our tongue may we speak life may we speak life tongue-tied is a medical condition of not being able to speak freely and when it comes to following Jesus I do want to encourage you we are tongue-tied because we don't speak freely our tongues are tied to the law of grace our tongues are tied to the law of love we don't just say what we want when we want that's a sure path for destruction but we allow the Holy Spirit to do it inner work inside of our heart no I say it's that it's that conversation with God that's just between you and him I'm being honestly that's the only way your words can change your words are not gonna simply change by someone coaching you it's a heart issue as the Holy Spirit shows you you're able to restrain your lips when you need to restrain your lips scripture say it over and over again hey your tongue it's make-or-break proverbs says it over and over again I want to read you some of the old Tomatoes but the wisest man in the world wrote for us what a beautiful gift see he says it's make or break your words they either hurt or heal there's one who's rash words are like sword thrusts but the tongue of the wise brings healing goes on to say your words invest or waste truthful lips endure forever but a lying tongue is but for a moment your word savor ruin the one who guards his mouth preserves his life the one who opens wide his lips comes to ruin your words and rich or in danger the tongue of the wise commends knowledge but the mouth of fools pour out folly your words flourish or they fail a gentle tongue is a tree of life but perverseness and it breaks the spirit your words unite or they divide and we can use this every day in our relationships here it is life death make break whoever covers an ascent seeks love see that's the heart's motivation but who repeats a matter separates close friends there's a war going on for your every word you know why the enemy attacks our words so much because he knows the power of your tongue he knows that it was created to build and he knows if you ever understood the depth of power that you hold just in your every day the moments when nobody else is watching but you choose to speak life he knows if you knew that that it would change everything see jesus promises that we have a teacher in the holy spirit who will teach us all things everybody say all things jesus promised before he ascended to heaven that he would send the comforter the counselor the Holy Spirit he says the Holy Spirit will teach you all things and remind you of all the things that I said while I was here on earth so some of us were like how do I get my words right what is right even mean well none of us can figure it out on our own we need a teacher just like why as a teacher I desperately need a teacher to learn how to talk the Holy Spirit daily moment by moment is patiently teaching us wind or restrain when to speak life when to be patient when to have a conversation how to say it the Holy Spirit is our teacher and I love when you open up the Bible that the Word of God in a lot of different translations it's it's in red letters right so these words like some of the Bible's that you read today they have red letters and I love this picture because to me it reminds me that that Jesus's words it's so much more than words that his words he actually walked them out that that it was a motivation of the heart that allowed him to go through an unimaginable death on the cross and that it was the life of his father that resurrected him the price that he paid for us that allowed him to resurrect three days later as I read the words of Jesus I'm reminded over and over again that his life wasn't just words but his actions backed it up so how do we watch our words how do we do it how do we do it God we're trusting you how does the Holy Spirit teach us well I think the Holy Spirit teaches us to measure our words that phrase measure your words it means to consider the weight to consider the impact some of you heard the story of our pool catastrophe if you didn't we share it two weeks ago you can check the message out but Rick should I live in a home that's rented and the Landlord decided to build a pool um there is a miscommunication between the landlord and the contractors and they built the wrong pool in our backyard like fully built the pool and in the last three weeks they've had to tear the pool apart and then they've had to completely rebuild dig and rebuild a brand-new pool our backyard looks like a war zone it's insane but this is exactly what our words do and I think in our in our lives there are languages that we've learned that we actually need to deconstruct and rebuild there's actually conversational comfort that we need to get uncomfortable with that we need to deconstruct pull apart and go no I get to build the conversation that drinks truth I get to build the conversation that brings life after watch watch your heart watch your attention watch your words this is a cycle but how do we measure the effectiveness of our words how do we know if we're speaking words of life well the test for all of us when it comes to speaking words of life is watch your fruit Jesus speaks in Matthew the Pharisees he says make a tree good and it's fruit will be good make a tree bad and it's fruit will be bad for a tree is known by its fruit you brood of vipers how can you who are evil say anything good for out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks the good man brings good things out of his good store of treasure the evil man brings evil things out of this evil store of treasure but I tell you that men will give an account this is heavy because this this is Jesus saying it's not just speaking life and death in the here and now but then Jesus says I will tell you that men will give an account on the day of judgment for every careless word they've spoken for by your words you will be acquitted and by your words you will be condemned and the truth is that we can look at the fruit of our life a good tree will have good fruit you know there's some people that when they walk in the room I want to be near them because they lift the room they can be in the most difficult circumstance but they choose joy time and time again and anybody who's around them is encouraged anyone who is around them all the sudden leaves with a different perspective have you ever been around somebody like that oh they have good fruit you ever been around someone or been that someone that every time you're around them you just kind of leave with a stomachache manna I feel worse and I was having a pretty good day you'll be known by your fruit it's not to say that we won't have tough days it's not to say that there won't be moments where all of us make mistakes we're all human but the fruit and the trees that go through the same storms but they bear specific fruit because of what's within them is the seed it's not the storm that changes the fruit it's the scene that changes the fruit we're known by our fruit so if you're wondering about the power of your words what what are you creating everywhere you go is there drama well where wherever you go there you are choosing to speak life you choosing to to forgive Cleese EOS II says there's a time to sow there's a time to reap we sow with our lips we reap with the quality of our relationships and I know that it's a two-way street but we have our side we have our responsibility watch your fruit would come two times in our life where we don't we don't know what to do because sometimes it feels like our tongue is out of control have you ever felt that way I know I have there was a time in my marriage where I kept having like these eruptions of anger where it would be a completely normal day and maybe just something small in my conversation with rich and it would just set me off and I would just come back to all these other little things that had built up and it kept happening over and over again I can tell you honestly I would be like not being kind not speaking kind and I would be like in my heart looking at rich as he was trying to navigate the situation of the conversation trying to bring peace and becoming man I really don't want to do this but it's inside of me it's here and I would think that by me airing things out that things would be better that's why we talked or China FIPS but it was a it was a funny peculiar thing because as many times as I got angry I never felt any better and never fixed anything and I was saying the same thing over and over again but it wasn't resolving anything I came to a place where I knew I had to have a heart change I said God there's resentment there isn't this big thing that transpired I decided to pick up all these little things that could have been easily squashed there could be peace in my home but it's me and I don't know how to get rid of it and I felt the Holy Spirit I really did feel him say to me hate Don Cherie you don't get a last stand that when you chose to surrender your life to me but there's nothing else that you need to say right now you've said everything you need to say stop trying to explain and decide to forgive stop trying to fix it with your mouth because all it's doing is projecting anger and you know what I decided to stop I decided to allow God to deal with what was going on in my heart deep down in my heart and can I tell you our situation in our circumstance it radically changed that God did a work in me that was shown through my ability to stop having these outbursts of anger because it was no longer there but I can't do it on my own I can't I can't save my marriage I can't I can't rescue my marriage I can't bring restoration and healing that's the power of God at work in me I'm full of flaws I'm full of making mistakes but the Spirit of God within me is that anchor that my tongue is tied to that is a sure foundation in every circumstance that when I don't know what to say that I can speak his promises over my home that I can speak his promises over my mind over my attitude over my desires over my brokenness and as I speak his promises I speak life and that life does not return void that life brings a harvest may we to pray what the poet prayed O Lord set a guard over my mouth keep watch over my lips because even when I can't watch my mouth the Holy Spirit us and oh I know I know when I've spoken something too soon out of anger it's bitter he lets me know I know when I've withheld my love that's bitter that's rotten I feel it the Holy Spirit shows me the Holy Spirit is our teacher he says hey watch your mouth not just because but because there's a life and life abundantly as you choose to speak the promises of God come on how many of you believe it today [Applause]

Channel: VOUS Church

Views: 37,857

Keywords: vous church, dawnchere wilkerson, vous, make or break, relationships, miami, miami church, sermon, relationship sermon

Id: BITiG9-ZJ0U

Length: 41min 14sec (2474 seconds)

Published: Mon Feb 25 2019