Danny Trejo: I Was As Sick As My Secrets

the first 25 years of my life were full of secrets full of Shame full of violence full of Crime full of drugs I mean that was just I had an uncle that turned me on to Grass while I was eight gave me a fix of heroin when I was 12 and uh and it's funny because when I talked to like psychiatrist well that was abuse Oh I thought it was sharing I mean it was like you know he was sharing this because you know especially if if an older sibling in your family is smoking weed um you know it's he's not turning the younger siblings on to be mean or vicious he is doing what he does and and he didn't do it viciously it was like I was there hey let's get him loaded and that's what happens you know and people don't you know under I could never it was funny I remember when my uncle tried to make amends to me right right before he died trying to make a man I said shut up man if you if you wouldn't have turned me on the grass at the product being a republican somewhere you know reading the paper telling my kid to shut up I I don't know you know but I don't know what would have happened but everything that happened to me happened the way it was supposed to it's Miami Alex break down she's gonna break it down for you because you know she knows a thing or two so now she's gonna break down it's a breakdown she's gonna break it down hi I'm Maya Bialik and I'm Jonathan Cohen and Welcome to our breakdown we've got a fun one today we're gonna break down everything there is to know about Danny Trejo and Jonathan where might people know Danny Trejo from from every movie that's out there he's everywhere this guy holds the record supposedly for the most deaths on camera he's been killed the most times 65 times very I mean I I know him most recently from Breaking Bad he is Tortuga and um a really really hilarious strange death uh in Breaking Bad but he's been in Desperado heat he's in uh From Dusk Till Dawn Conair Boba Fett Grindhouse obviously machete and so many other things in addition like an enormously significant part of La culture was a movie called Mi Vida Loca and he was in mi vida loca and he is such an LA like an LA personality and existence he and I went to the same high school I think he had been kicked out of four before he got to North Hollywood High but that is the high school I went to um so he is an acclaimed actor he's an author of several books he wrote Trejo's tacos which is a book based on the restaurant that he opened and he just came out with Trejo's Cantina which is cocktail snacks and amazing non-alcoholic drinks from the heart of Hollywood um the other aspect to his life which I learned all about when I read Trejo My Life Of Crime redemption in Hollywood is that he spent most of the first 24 years of his life um either doing drugs drinking or in and out of prison and jail including significant life-altering experiences as you know in his own words as a criminal and a dealer and a hustler um his Memoir is absolutely unbelievable like you cannot believe the things that he experienced what he was raised in um he's going to talk to us today about it he's going to talk about the Legacy that he had essentially in prison and then as an actor and as an activist in helping other men and women get sober and live a clean sober life um I don't know Jonathan do you want to add anything else before we get into talking to Danny that was honestly one of your best summaries I've heard so far it was are so beautifully said and his uh transition into becoming this American iconic bad boy in films like when you see him you know the bad guy is there and it's so powerful how he has stepped into that role uh such a pleasure to speak with him and to hear more about that Journey um yeah it's really we have so much to talk about and we really this is an episode where I really feel like we cover it all so let us welcome Danny Trejo break it down Danny Trejo what what an incredible honor it is to have you here first of all I I read your book I'm just gonna say I read um it is called My Life Of Crime Redemption and Hollywood and I read it and I have to say and this is a completely superficial thing to say you look freaking amazing for the life that you lived I expected you to crawl in here you look like a young man you were born during World War II yeah yeah in fact the reason I got was born in Maywood is because in 1944 the General Hospital downtown was full of soldiers right when they took my mom to have me it was full so they had to take me I don't even know I'm from Los Angeles where's Maywood well at my they used to call it billy goat Acres now exactly Compton out that way you know so wow so there's so many places that we could start I I want to say first of all I I I know you as an actor because I've seen most every movie I think that you've been in pretty much and um you were also in a lot of films um at a time in my life when as a person who grew up at La you were part of many films that really described a lot of the complexity of the Chicano we called it Chicano then but the the Latino American experience and and the Mexican-American experience uh here which is a huge part of Los Angeles um and then I knew that you had a restaurant and I kind of was like how did that all come together but then I read the book and I think that there were things I knew about you kind of here and there but um you know the first half of the book is very difficult it is very painful yeah um you you wrote it with I don't know how to pronounce his name Donald Logue Donald um Donald is that Irish yeah okay so you wrote it you you you wrote it with someone as it were but um you know you have who is a great writer a great writer but but a great writer is only as good as the stories that that Danny's bringing and I gotta say that that's like when I gave this the two chapters to Maeve my kid's mom yeah right that's who I've pushed with the longest and she read it she's the one that said it's like talking to you so that's what because people have been telling me to write a book for years and I you know I don't use what I'm prolific I don't know what that means but they they would always like change stuff right Donald just caught the Essence no it's really it is it's beautifully written and um you know the first half I mean it you know my my heart kept catching in my throat because you know you describe you know a legacy in your family that had a lot of beauty and a lot of richness and a lot of incredible personalities and also you know as you said a lot of a lot of pain and you you know you I don't want to say you were victimized as a child because I know you don't like that word but things happen to you before you were 11 years old that set you on a course you know that many don't come back from and that many in your family did not come back from and um you know I'm not going to ask you to sort of like recount like this is a book that people should read um and also the the pain you know what you what you reap you know what you reap in tragedy you sow you know Joy from and there is a Redemptive aspect to both your life and your story but um for people who don't who don't know what let's say the first 25 years of your life were like um can you just kind of walk us through uh the first 25 years of my life were full of Secrets full of Shame full of violence full of uh crime full of drugs I mean that was just I had an uncle that turned me on to grass when I was eight gave me a fix of heroin when I was 12 and uh and it's funny because when I talk to like psychiatrists well that was abuse Oh I thought it was sharing I mean it was like you know he was sharing this because you know especially if if an older sibling in your family is smoking weed um you know it's he's not turning the younger siblings on to be mean or vicious he is doing what he does and and he didn't do it viciously it was like I was there hey let's get him loaded and that's what happens you know and people don't you know under I could never it was funny I remember when my uncle tried to make amends to me right right before he died trying to make a man I said shut up man if you'd if you wouldn't have turned me on the grass I'd have probably been a republican somewhere you know read the paper tell my kid to shut up I I don't know you know but I don't know what would have happened but everything that happened to me happened the way it was supposed to to get me to where I and I realized that like when I go to a high school and I step onto a stage it gets quiet no matter what high school because they want to hear what I have to say because they know I've been where they've been it's it's you know you can be a therapist a psychiatrist uh anything and and you have to get kids attention and it's impossible because they don't have any you know and then you have to keep it and it's impossible because of number one they don't have any no your your time you know in in your your teens I mean not even your teen your tweens your tweens and your teens um you know when you talk about violence like and I I really you know what Jonathan and I do here is we're not looking to to bring out you know the most sound bitey crazy part of someone's story but what I will say is you learned you were conditioned as a child to use rage and to use violence to survive and that was true before you even set foot in your first prison or your first jail I had an uncle my uncle Gilbert who was a boxer who was a uh what you call a puncher he's a guy that could hit you and knock you out he was just heavy-handed and so he taught me immediately and he said if somebody starts talking suck them you know because you might as well because you're gonna fight anyway you know or if people are talking back and forth let's stop it I'll talk about your mother because that's the end result right you know that's okay now we're here I talked about now what and and that's what he taught me how to do so and then we would stop all that and just punch first and well and and Gilbert in particular I mean that name is throughout this book like that and like my heart just like Ugh um but Gilbert in particular you know you had a lot of his lessons like I I'm gonna ask you this question what when you first are put in jail in your life what are you like what what is going on in Danny's head like like how are I don't mean to say like how did it have to like go into survival mode but like you talk about how a lot of your shame turned to rage so what are what is that like and how old were you the first time you went in oh God I don't put 12. okay 12 13. uh yeah sorry I'm remembering your book yes but it's it's kind of like I had a mentor I had a teacher who had already been here I feel sorry for kids that all of a sudden just end up in juvenile hall and don't understand it that guy giving you a dirty look you got to give him the finger before he looks too long you know to let him know hey I'm nobody to mess with and uh and if you get in a fight try to bite somebody immediately so that they know wait a minute this guy didn't want to fight he wants to eat me you know it's like so the the because people people aren't afraid of tough guys tough guys just slap them just like a [ __ ] you know but crazy people you really don't want to mess with and so somebody's trying to bite you you know it's like you remember that you have bad dreams about it really and so that's what he said if somebody's too big just grab him and bite them or or sock them and and you you learn how to go like most people argue and then they then they get angry and then they fight correct okay well if you just go from right now to rage people aren't expecting that way what happened to the argument and the anger you know what I mean and that's and that shock value is intimidation correct exactly the whole the whole concept of fighting is intimidation you know if if I if I can ask you please man please look I don't want to hurt you it's like wait a minute what is this guy saying you know if you have one hand in your pocket and you're saying please come on I don't want to hurt you it's whether you have something in your pocket or not doesn't matter the thought is like uh once you got in his pocket you know so and and I had so many secrets and so much rage you know I watched my mom have an affair for years and I had to my dad threatened to kill me if I ever you know what I mean so it's like wait a minute I'm caught here you know so I had to lie and say no I did never seen it you know to my dad and that and and you you talk about that later in the book you you kind of were the holder of there were many many secrets and we're as sick as our secrets but you were the holder of this you said the whole thing right there yeah we are sick as our secrets yeah and you know what when I wrote that book unbelievable I didn't know and and Maeve was the one that said oh this is great yeah this is great sounds like oh I got in trouble what about your mom what about your dad what do you mean what about my mom that's her story why do you think you've been divorced four times wow you know why do you think you couldn't trust me to go to the store [Music] my ambiance breakdown is supported by better help I learned new things about myself all the time and guess where those things happen in therapy Getting to Know Yourself is a lifelong process especially because we're always growing and changing and therapy is about deepening self-awareness and understanding of yourself sometimes we don't know what we want or why we're reacting the way we we do until we can talk things through betterhelp can connect you with a licensed therapist who can take you on that journey of self-discovery from wherever you're at my experience with therapy is that I never want to live without it I used to be like oh I'll go for a little bit or I don't need to go guess what I'm a lifer and I've come to be really comfortable with that because I always want to learn about myself if 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almost every condition under the sun no more Dr roulette no more scouring the internet for questionable reviews with ZocDoc you have a trusted guide that's going to connect you to your favorite doctor that you haven't even met yet millions of people use octoc's free app to find and book a doctor in their neighborhood who's patient reviewed and fits their needs and their schedule just right sounds perfect go to zocdoc.com breakdown download the ZocDoc app for free then find and book a top-rated doctor today many are available within 24 hours that's zocdoc.com breakdown ZocDoc dot com slash breakdown [Music] when you're in kind of that that environment you know where you have the ability to use intimidation to use anger to use violence um you know the like I said the first half of the book you know really details all those ups and downs and one of the things you know they tried to get you sober many times you know whoever they were um and and also you know one of the things that I really appreciated about your book is you know we hear a lot about prison reform we hear a lot about how uh and I don't mean to get political but I'm going to you know that A system that is more abusive on the inside than it is on the outside is not actually going to rehabilitate anyone it's actually going to create more more problems I I mean I think that's safe to say um but you know the the method of kind of survival you know that you went into I think you know it just layered on top of all the shame that you talk about all the fear you know and all the feelings which you talk about really not having access to but one of the things you said is that when when people would you know when you'd go to meetings when you'd be sent to go to these 12-step meetings and you'd say that guys would start with like well I drank for 50 years and you said you would stop listening and all you would hear was well I got more time to go then right exactly what what was that like it was you know what it's so funny but when people would say that you know like I was 20 years old you don't know how can I identify with this wino you're 20 years old but the problem is it's not just the uh what is logistics it's the way you drink it's the wait a minute I'm I'm drunk three days out of the week and I'm 15 years old you know something is wrong I started got it and and and Latino families there's always a lot of beer around in any kind of so kids are like drinking the and it's cute you know I mean sometimes it's cute and uh but unbeknownst to us then they might be afflicted with that chemical imbalance and that just sets off a the lumbrese we call it the worm you know and and uh I've seen I've seen it happen I've seen moms I remember the baseball game me and my son were at a baseball game right and my son's sober too right and we're at a baseball game and my daughter was a cheerleader that's right I'm like watching and the baby I started crying and immediately mom put a candy in its mouth and then my son well there's a Futures you're just automatic you know because there's you know because the children yeah you know what I mean and uh and that's why uh uh you know when you first start detoxing off of alcohol you take sugar right and then you got to be careful you know and you um I mean you you literally have have stories in here of just like taking a handful of pills and washing them down with beer and then seeing what happens and then like waking up two days later I think you that was one of your I can Dr you I think you said like oh I'll be a controlled Drinker and then like literally two days later you're like there's a bunch of cocaine and guns in the back of the car and I don't know how I got here but I'm gonna grab the guns and start running like me and Dennis yeah that's my best friend so um So eventually you know through I mean there's so many miracles yeah go ahead the guy I bought those guns from right guy named Jerry but no way Richard Berry Richard Berry I I was dead but I I bought those guns from we got those guns from so we took him a lot of drugs and got guns we were in San Quentin together when I was in San Quentin we used to protect him because he had the bag wow well and and something that occurs you know and really God is like the first page of your book and God is the last page of your book so you know there's a lot of there's a lot of divine force in your life but you are a person who kind of has lived from kind of one Miracle to the next meaning there there's so many and I think this is the pain that you also feel and the love that you share with your incarcerated brothers and sisters that you talk about there are so many stories that don't turn out like yours meaning there are many where there's luck and there's a miracle but you literally it's like you jumped on lily pad to Lily Pad of miracles did you you know obviously you got sober and you got sober young youngish um did you instantly identify with like there's a God Like did the higher power concept really speak to you right away you know I gotta do this okay for a long time I was at war with God I couldn't understand it you know I mean my grandma every time I fall down skin my niece you say te castigovios that means like God punish you come on I'm seven give me a break but anytime you got hurt it was God punishing you for what you did and uh I ain't done nothing yet you know but so there was a like a cross message there and when I got the first time I ever heard about a loving God was in Youth Authority at an AAA meeting that I because I I accidentally stepped into a AAA meeting when I was 15 years old and then when I got the Youth Authority I I went to the meetings to see girls and uh I did there was women so we wouldn't sign up and uh and it was like you know this guy was talking about I have a loving God he doesn't punish me just I thought wow that's cool you know because mine had always been and he didn't say he was Christian he was Jewish he just said a loving God okay that's what I want all of them and it's so funny after that every Penitentiary I would go to I would hear you an Alcoholics Anonymous is now meeting in the Protestant chapel and there's also Protestant because the Catholics didn't like the higher power yeah it had to be Jesus or nothing so that's kind of their bumper sticker in there Jesus or nothing so you know yes I love Jesus but but it was like kind of like the whole deal yeah and and uh and so and it always talked about that loving God you're not punishing you're you did God didn't make you an alcoholic you just have that G and the minute if you would have never drank well you'd have been a workaholic or if you never drank you would have been a a breedaholic you didn't just kind of like drink and do drugs like you were a heroin user so sobriety that kind of sobriety is very very painful meaning that that process of letting your body experience the world without that kind of support I mean because that I mean it's a crutch I have to what was that what was early sobriety like for you well I I have to tell you okay so I I was hooked when I was in prison we were pretty well hooked on booze and on oh no people may not know you people do drugs in prison like it exists right you said six kids dying juvenile hall yeah you're fentanyl right now right it was the country it shouldn't be like that in so many ways rest of the world that is not a safe place right what is it every society that has fallen has fallen behind drugs trying to goes all the way back and now all the countries Russia China they're all yeah sending drugs to Mexico and Mexico standing up here for killer drugs maybe we should just build a bigger wall just kidding okay so go ahead early sobriety no and so uh so uh uh it was like uh I got sober and clean in prison in 1968. and uh [Music] I was blessed to be in the hole I got clean there I got out I went to the whole may I got out in August and and I was clean and I had promised let me die with dignity I'll say your name every day I'll do whatever I can for my fellow inmate and I remember distinctly saying inmate because I thought I'd never get out of prison and uh I got out I started like trying to help yeah I mean this is this is my favorite part of your story I didn't know you know how do you guys would come up hey would well you know get a I remember one time I I told a guy get to he was tattooing and he owed a lot of money so he had the tattoo so I said well just get some uh points you'll get enough points and get one way at the door so when you could tell when the cops coming in I don't got that much better so I'll pay for that one you know so in other words to anyway he paid his debt and uh they made me inmate social Catalyst that was a new job that they did the the counselor and the captain and what I would do is inmates would actually come to me and say this is the problem I have with this inmate blah blah blah why were you good at this I you know what because I was the lightweight and the welterweight champion of that institution so if you were kind of like a celebrity anyway you know but there's more and I mean like plenty of people try and help other people or think that they should there was really some there's there is something about you and I I do believe it's what also has made people so love you as a performer there's a real like there's a there's a humanness to you it's very approachable yeah but you're gonna say you don't want to be that loved in jail no I 100 100 but but what I'm saying is like like plenty of people talk plenty of people talk to you when you were in prison I think what I hear you saying Danny is you you were respected and maybe even feared based on your boxing yeah and then from there so you would have the respect to be listened to and then when I hear maim saying is that there's an authenticity about you so that when you're giving advice people think that you have their best interest at heart and you're not trying to like steer them in the wrong direction you know what I would never give anybody advice that I couldn't take right you know what I mean and it's like so it's kind of just knowing hey look I know your situation and this is the best thing we could do another like the best thing I could do and I guess that was one of the reasons for whatever also you're a good talker okay were you always like that I was getting in trouble tell me more you had a big mouth well I always stated opinion you know I mean that's not good I love it I I had a lot of teachers that didn't like me in fact Mrs Finley what did she say she said Danny there's a special place in heaven for anybody that's going to work with you that's my fourth grade well I think again that that really is such a touching part of your story what I would when I went to the parole board in uh July of 1969 they said Trejo we're sick of you you know what we don't know what game you're playing now but you haven't had a beef in 11 months and you didn't go 11 days where that would be so but we're tired of you bring us back a life sentence because I didn't have a life sentence I only had a 15 top so in other words I only had to do 15 years to bring us back a life set and so we don't have to deal with you when you have a when you have a like a 15 top or a tent up that means you have to come back to board every year if you have a lifetime yeah yeah come back every five ten years younger so they said bring us back a life sentence I'll never forget that as long as it's like they're saying there's no hope that's right you know that's and I remember coming out and the first day I was out Frank Russo picked me up we went to a meeting next day was a Sunday I'm standing outside from my mom's trying to think okay now how am I going to be a nice guy I have robbed every house in this neighborhood I've stolen every lawnmower you know I've just broke into every car and I remember this lady pulling out her trash because this is 1969. David had big tubs and you would just fill them full of everything in it I remember going to help her and I remember what she said she says no more robots please she just screamed at me and I said shut up yes I got mad my brother helped you and I pulled the trash out and I went and got her other trash can but I could feel her eyes on me she knew I was gonna break for that garage and steal something I didn't I brought the treasurement and I just remember feeling good about it and that's that was it I took the trash out for a long time you have so many Beautiful Stories also of those days of your recovery you know you had men who believed in you and you had men who didn't give up on you and that's right and you know you you had so many you know kind of I mean started kind of as odd jobs you know and you were told like keep your hands busy right yeah like do labor did that was that like a huge I mean do you feel like that was a game changer for you well you know what we started me and a kid named Danny levitov started a gardening business I love this kid uh d right huh D and D you called yourself Frank Russo uh took me to this youth program because all these kids were they were kind of like you know well to do kids that uh that um judge Hughes from Van Nuys helped Frank start and uh so they all looked up they all loved my dick it's so funny because I thought well uh Frank says they like your tattoo shut up but they would listen and and Danny levitov taken so much acid he was just out to lunch right but but he got arrested for armed robbery Robbie Jack in the Box that's right and the way he got arrested he was walking down Van Nuys Boulevard he had just robbed one and he stashed the gun and stashed the money but he forgot to take it ski mask off you know so walking down what happens to Rich Jewish kids try to rob a Jack In The Box okay that's not what we're made for so so but you know I just fell in love with we like so I would send him we started a gardening business I'd send him to the to the door and he'd knock High you know yeah do you have a lawnmower yeah do you have bags do you have if he would borrow all their equipment and then go mow other Lawns and then come mow theirs and we were doing pretty good and then everything good that has happened to me has happened as a direct result of the help of someone else [Music] might be able to break down supported by neutrifol 30 million women are impacted by weakened or thinning hair if you're among them no you're not alone and there's a solution you can trust to deliver results millions of Americans experience thinning hair it's more than common it's normal but it's not something we openly talk about especially among women going through it can feel lonely and frustrating let's change the conversation join the thousands of women who are standing up for their strands with neutrophil neutrophil is the number one dermatologist recommended hair growth supplement clinically shown to improve your hair 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get free shipping on every order ten dollars off at neutrophone.com spelled n-u-t-r-a-f-o-l.com promo code break [Music] so the next amazing thing that kind of happened in this chapter of your life which already I mean at 24.25 you kind of had a new a new start you know and in many ways you know you're a baby when you come into a program like that you're you're a baby you're learning to walk and you're learning to talk and you literally heard about a dude who did background extra work on sets this was no This was later right first uh a guy named Jimmy Pena called me up and uh he ran a program called the narcotics prevention project down in you know I've been wanting to get into this right and so he called me in for an interview and uh I went in there and they talked and blah blah blah blah blah and they hired me and I thought it was like my counseling skills but then he said Danny you know what we got a lot of dope fiends outside selling dope and we got to get him out of here oh okay so they hired me for muscle so I started like telling you guys hey you know you gotta go and they all knew me from being dangerous they know okay well I'll go so they would go down the street and go go ahead and sell dope down there it didn't matter you know so damn I thought you got me for counseling and then I was the only one that had insurance on my car so I transported people back and forth to the to the hospital but I did that until I got out and that was started 73 I did that until man 1985 and then 1985 one of the kids I was working with called me up and said hey there's a lot of blow down here on my job I thought it was a worked in a warehouse I went down to support him and it was the movie set of a movie called Runaway Train Jon Voight and Eric Robertson that's right I ran into a guy named Eddie bunker who I happened to be in prison with who was the captain's clerk which is the most powerful job in prison at that time if you had a guard that was messing with you you could give Eddie a hundred bucks and he would transfer that card wow because all he had to do was just pull up okay sign this and the captain would sign it and and all of a sudden that guard would be like a midnight Tower to six you know that's who I'd be in prison General oh God I'd love him oh yeah absolutely Eddie was we called him the brain you know what I mean and the and in fact he made a fortune writing Ritz because a writ has to be grammatically correct and in the language and he knew how to do it so he would come and say you know he turned like a 50 bucks to read it to read your transcript a hundred bucks to tell you what Rich you had and then you know 100 to write them this guy comes up and says hey do you want to be in this movie that's what I got to do he said you want to be an extra I said extra what he says can you act like a convict I think it's Soledad San Quentin Folsom chinos here I'll give it a shot you know they give me a brief shirt I took off my shirt and I got that huge text yeah okay this tattoo says prison you can put your shirt down there you understand just take it off just take it off that tattoo says yeah you've been in prison you know so I'll never forget he goes like this he goes wait yeah I'm trying to figure out what gang sign is that yeah he's giving me a gang sign so I gave him Pokemon and he said leave your shirt off so I'm standing there looking at this old guy I hate saying that this guy was about 65 right spring chicken right now and so and he's looking at me and then he comes over and he goes hey you're Danny Trejo he said Danny I saw you in the lightweight and the Welterweight Title up in Clinton I said you're Eddie Bonker I knew this guy wow and we were in prison that's what are you doing here ready he says I adapted the screenplay I didn't know what that meant see because they had neither do neither do screenplay writers okay they had they had Jon Voight right our Kawa ayakawa had written runaway train they had him as a wife killer like killed his wife because she had an affair well you can't be a hero in prison kill your wife do you understand now you can kill her boyfriend they were like all right that's a bad dude I like the hierarchy of morality here makes sense but so Eddie it's like you know it just doesn't you kill your wife come on mother your kids and so so you you uh they the Eddie changed it and made Jon Voight an armed robber because I'm Robert seen his you know hierarchy in prison and uh and uh he changes so he told me and he said what are you doing I said you know they're gonna give me 50 bucks right they're like a convict we both laughed because we've been doing that for free forever you know I mean and and he said uh you know well I just you know we need somebody to we need somebody to uh train one of the actors out of box and I said what's it pay and he says 320 a day and when he said that I said I bet you on Skype beat up almost like no I that's a hit come I wasn't making 320 a week as a drug counselor yeah I'll bet you one Skype beat up he'll know Danny wait hold on this guy's really high strung he's already shocked two people I said Eddie for 320 give him a stick I don't made that for I've made that in a week you know and so I started training an actor named Eric Roberts how to box wow for a movie runaway train and the Dr Eric was a movie star yeah okay movie stars are dicks okay all right I'm sorry but they're very entitled and and Andre was a a Russian Aristocrat his grandfather wrote like some Russian national anthem and and this was his first American movie and he was having like you know because movie stars can say oh hell with you I'm going to my trailer I don't like this [ __ ] and I go and sit in his trailer and everybody's like okay now what do we do you know so with movie stars you have to have uh an alternate plan so in case he turns into a [ __ ] you gotta like you gotta like well we could shoot this no you do that's what a good director does I started training Eric and Andre saw that Eric wanted to learn pugilistic skills right and uh and he started doing what I told him to do and so when they wanted him to like come to the set for Danny you go get here I was supposed to only be there two days right because the boxing match was supposed to be another and it wasn't is he canceled it put it on I was there like two weeks and he didn't go get it and I'd go get Eric tell him hey he became his Handler without even knowing it right and uh so I I became the social coach nobody called The Sober coach anyway but before it started and uh and so we got through this and uh Andre Cayman says you be in movie you fight Eric and movie and then he holds me like this and you be my friend now if you're in prison you don't like people to say be my friend or touching your face and holding it well it's kind of like does that mean we got a shower together you know what I mean amen it's kind of very so I turned to Eddie and he Eddie looked at me and then he walked away and I said Eddie I'm gonna train the kid because he kissed me on both cheeks and walked away I'm gonna train the kid but if I'm gonna be kissing that old man I want more money he's European so honestly I didn't know they kissed and then and then if I would have known what that old man did for me I'd have come and watch this back okay I got a sad card you understand fat jeans my entire life well and so so you know again like these are all Just Like These Little Miracles these little like things and places but you know there's there's something you're very you're a very charismatic person and so it's kind of like it's true like I all these instances these don't just happen to anyone it happened because also you were you were in this environment where you were offering something the way that you offer it so what what what happened and you know I'm trying to make a long story short because like I want to get to your present life too but what happened kind of from that one experience is that you sort of catapulted into you know what you described as you'd been acting your whole life you know you'd been acting to survive you'd been acting not scared but you you became this this presence you know in in films and in television and these these very iconic roles and like you you're the face of so many people's image of that guy who played the convict the inmate the gangster a lot of people now don't even know that I was in prison it's so weird like God's just a great actor you really you really act like a kind of a duh but I don't I don't tell them and it's so funny like I said everything good that has happened to me has happened as a direct result of helping someone else in 1991 I did a movie called Blood In Blood Out all right and we did it in the northern Reception Center which is Nortenos which North and South don't get along okay two guys were there from the south both wearing blue which I thought was insane because right they're red right and so I I went up to one of them and said what's wrong with you almost said it's like ah we got to represent you know they're cool you know we don't you know as long as long as you don't get too out of line You'll fight they won't stab you know it's okay so Mario I meet a guy named Mario Castillo show you how God works and I tell him and talk talk about staying clean staying sober hey this is the way to go blah blah blah so he does about eight more years in and out of prison and then I run into him in a Narcotics prevention I mean a Narcotics Anonymous convention start talking to him now I'm clean I took your advice blah blah blah blah blah blah eight and a half years ago he saved my son's life you know that's how it worked do you understand that's how I know I know there's a God I know it works stay on the right path the right path is helping everybody you can that's it we got that's what we do Easter anything it doesn't matter just and it was just so I love it when people come to like like feeding feeding people on on Christmas and we do it all year long you know I mean we work with the poly project go down and take food anything is just like you have to stay above the yeah I don't know you just gotta just you know it's like help old clothes you give them to somebody that ain't got clothes you know I mean just whatever where did you where did you learn that the first day I was out of prison and when I helped that lady with her trash can I just felt good about it that's all that's all I just felt good and I said I want to keep feeling like this even though she was yelling at me don't come back into my yard I know you're gonna steal something it didn't matter and it was like so you know you you 've been part of so many people's you know lives in you know in in mainstream films also there's a there's a whole section of the book about you know an interaction you had with Edward James almost and um you know I also think that there's something really special about like the Integrity that you've brought to a lot of the roles that you play you know a lot of people have seen you in really like fun parts and you know you've done some great cameos and you know you let you you have a good sense of humor about yourself but there's also you know these places throughout the book and throughout your life where you you literally do not forget your experience or where you came from and yeah and and I wonder if you can talk a little bit about that you can't especially in this day and age it's like so easy to like do something wrong it's so easy to like get mad and road rage and bump somebody's car and all of a sudden you're back in the mix and I watch people you know I'm driving and I said something around beep beep I was there was a lady oh God boy I pray for her every day that she was feels road rage roads she gives some guy the finger so what's the guy do pow pow and kills her kid hmm you know and it's like she's gonna live with that and so every time I think about this pumpkin yeah it was so funny my little cousin Gilbert he just finished he did 38 years right we me and Mario got him out of prison Dr Governor Newson well and uh and he was pulling into the driveway and this guy's what what and Gilbert said Gilbert said killed about three people in prison beat up a butt I don't know how many and this guy wants the challenge for a parking spot I mean it was like oh so fun and yeah he went around you know if people don't know you don't know what kind of crazies are out there there's people out there crazier than me that's what scares me um I want to ask you about there's a couple a couple quotes I'd love to ask you about if you don't mind from from the book so there's something I might cry here just we can all cry together so you talk about um you talk about solitary confinement I believe it was it was 1966 and um sorry and you're talking about [Music] um you're in a six by ten cell you know and it's got this iron door and you're not allowed to have contact with anyone right so you get food twice a day um you said the food was good this is in Folsom um and so you did a lot of things you know physically to basically to keep yourself from going crazy and you know for those of us who care both about the prison system and mental health and the intersection you know solitary confinement is one of the most brutal inhumane absolutely disgusting policies that that have been put in place uh uh and that's like the biggest understatement of the universe but you did something with your mind and this really this was so fascinating to me you said that you you had I'm gonna let you tell it I'm gonna let you tell it what the when I was there after you did all the push-ups and all this sit-ups all these you know you're done all that it's like you have to you have to go crazy to keep them from making you crazy to keep the silence and to keep the blows to keep and uh and I get to a point where if you see a cockroach you're not sure is that real or am I so if you grab it no it's real yeah so but I started doing like I remember the movie The Wizard of Oz you know and uh I started doing that you know and uh the lollipop kids all that and and uh and uh I remember the guard would come by and sometimes I'd be in the middle of my did you kill my sister you and their eyes go nuts you know I mean and then the other one that I loved was the Hunchback of Notre Dame the but the the one with uh the original the original one right the one with Salma Hayek was like wow these were these were two classic films very like classic iconic films also she gave me water right well in the Hunchback of Notre Dame also this this character who is marginalized rejected mock you know mistreated right and so so and that and then The Wizard of Oz which you know is is the ultimate it's a dream fantasy and also it's you know it's a very trippy movie like you know it's a very trippy movie so these two movies you they became you said they became like just a cycle in your head they were my like therapy the more I could remember the better I felt you know what I mean and I remembered I remember the shoes rolling up and going I the little stuff that I just totally remember and then and then in the in the Hunchback of Notre Dame thank you and you got to understand this the whole cell block yeah and I by myself you know what I mean and there's what there's 25 cells on this side 25 cells going down and I'm there's only one time in it here no one else thank you very God would shut off Trail I think about that you were a kid you know I think about that kid and then I think about the experiences that you've had on screen and how you you you're that's you're the same per like we're all the same person right I mean like take your darkest moment in your life that's who you are at your highest moment in your life too right like that's that was you but what I mean the fact that you've also maintained you know your sobriety you've built a business you've built a food a food community and business that is as you said a testament to your culture you know of welcoming people of having them sit at your table what what do you think like what do you credit with getting you from that cell you know to to where you are in your life I just have to say that everything good that has happened to me has happened as a direct result of help with someone else I got into the restaurant business helping uh um a director named Craig Moss great director who had this movie that he wanted to do and it was called badass and I didn't really want to do I was waiting for another uh High budget movie over here I only had to wait another month and and if I got into this I wouldn't be able to do that and uh but my age is Gloria kept saying you know what this might turn into something really really big it's a good so we went ahead and did that movie and it turned into a Trilogy so it was great but I met a director I mean a producer on that movie named ashaw who saw that I like good food I won't eat processed food I won't go to Mickey D's I won't Jack I mean I just I I eat good I eat with 78 you better eat good so and so uh uh on the film he saw that if his low budget movies they'll go go get 50 jacks or go get you know it's a you know it's not like the best catering in the world so I would get like my salad or I'd get I'd get some good food somewhere you know and uh he saw that he's Danny why don't you open a restaurant wow jokingly I said Trejo's tacos because that's when I used to piss my dad off with all the time man because in the 50s women didn't work and my mom was great cook no matter what went between me and my mom she always cooked and uh and uh I would say Mom we should start a restaurant my dad would go berserk because women didn't work so this is a great place to lead into really towards the end of the book you talk about you talk about toxic masculinity someone you know and it's like and you said like what is this term you know and it was the person who helped you write this book who said that even though you were you know free of so many patterns this is what you said I was 74. tell me about this I was 74 I was finally understanding the engine driving so much of my behavior it was a hard V8 from the hood as much as I hated the way my father and uncles were they're machismo their chicanismo I was a Charro just like them unfaithful to my wives violent toward other men angry guilty of playing the big shot I knew I'd made great strides in other areas you say you're clean and sober you had helped so many people but you said somewhere down in my core I still carried a deep fear about being vulnerable and weak and being [ __ ] over that immediately manifested itself in anger and control you say I was a bad man on the hardest prison yards but the most terrifying thing I ever had to face was my own emotions I'd be afraid if I open that door it might never close you know you're a father and you're you're your kids have had their own struggles um and as you said you've had your own experiences with women and not always at your own fault meaning a lot of it was your own fear or insecurity um why why okay so but what is it about kind of the emotional part of you that you finally had to learn this late in life that was so hard to get in touch with until now I have a test story when I was a when I was put my daughter in rehab and I was laying down the law we were laying down the line and you know I'm taking that house and this and I'll have your car and blah blah blah blah that I said something and find and she said no wait no um I peed okay I completely pee okay and I I I was trying to figure out what to say thank God my son was there because he said no wait Danielle this is what we're gonna do blah blah blah blah blah blah blah and took over and then afterwards when she left you know he said dad I finally seen you pee you pissed yourself Dad I've seen you back down monsters and then him made you and I realized that like wow that's my vulnerable spot right there you know what I mean but anyway it all worked out you know what are you like emotionally now like what is it like to be in touch with your feelings it's terrible he said who wants to cry away nobody you know only weak guys cry when Bambi's mom died it was so funny because honest to God when my daughter said no no okay I'll buy you a puppy I didn't know what to say but I've realized that like uh you know what it's not all about it's not even about being right or Peter it's about staying happy it's about feeling good you know and everything is going to work out the way it's supposed to look where I'm at you know I mean so I know I'm proof things work out the way they're supposed to is your soft spot your kids absolutely so tell us about your kids oh God did you so they're unbelievable and tell us about specifically the movie that that your son and you made my son my son did a film called from a sun and it's about a son that goes out and uses drugs and when he dies my mother always used to say that when something happened to me she would wake up in the middle of the night no matter where it was she knew something was wrong you know it wasn't my stepmom was you would wake up you know and wake up my dad to call Danny and uh and then get me in trouble and so anyway uh uh and and so she always said that so you set this movie to her when he's overdosing and dying I'm waking up he's like wow you know no and then he dies I go looking for him I go in into his hell I get shot at I get cussed that I get guns pointed thinking what no my son into in other words in other words I was one of those parents that had no clue what is and uh when I find his girlfriend out in the desert in a shack I I make her take me to where she buried him you know he overdosed and died so this one scene has this crying scene in it right and where I I break down and cry well I'm thinking you know John Wayne yeah okay pilgrim oh we gotta tough one up here you know and so all week my son is showing me these stupid baby pictures hey Dad remember this remember when [ __ ] threw him fell that's right and I'm just like looking yeah yeah yeah you're doing so then when it comes to this movie it's at night we're in the desert it's cold Sasha the girl that he had most vulnerable looking person in the world this is the the perfect image of Bambi run over okay and uh I said did you kill my son no I loved him he was my only friend and she started Bob I lost it wow I a lot this was not a manly cry this was a booger cry okay no I'm sorry and I'm really I apologize if you like because I was like yeah I couldn't stop I cried for my mom I cried for my dad I cried for cried for everybody I didn't cry for you became a method actor could not stop and then when he finally said cut the whole crew was crying they were like just thought and it was that real and uh I hope every time I done striking wipe my nose also there was there was I would imagine such an emotional component to him and you and what he's been through and you know for him to be an artist in his own right like can you talk a little bit about that I I used to take my kids to the to the set all the time for a while as a single parent Mama used for a while and I had kids the joyous time in my life and uh my daughter would go straight to the a makeup trailer and they'd do her hair and my son would go straight to the top top of the camera and you know just started learned everything and literally I wanted him in front of the camera great looking kid right he learned lighting everything he shadowed Robert Rodriguez he's in the DGA now well I told him you've just turned into my retirement plan kid so now um what are you most proud of yeah my kids all of them they're like they're just like all winners and uh uh they're probably the only thing you ever made me cry in a minute you know and uh God is like hearing them what they call me in the morning hey Dad what's up good morning do they have kids no not yet okay well you will oh can you talk I I don't want to get too personal but obviously there's some in the book but can you talk a little bit about your relationship with women because one thing I noticed and you're a very handsome fellow and I I see you got a lot of attention from the ladies and um one thing I am curious about is you didn't seem to have time really without women in your life meaning you you always seem to like to be partnered is is that true I mean I'm not just saying like of course like people like to have sex I get it I'm not stupid but in terms of Partners you had significant relationships kind of one you know I don't say one after another but you you did you had you had several significant relationships growing up the term used to be one in home and one on the street you know and uh and I grew up with that it wasn't wrong you know I remember my mom my stepmom's mom had a boyfriend who had a wife who had a wife you know and and he would come over on the weekend and I'm all the way back then and uh only one that I I didn't was my grandfather I never you know watched it because he stayed pretty close to home you know in the uh but all my uncles you know they all kind of were like players you know Gilbert my uncle Gilbert had two boys both the same age named Gilbert different different mom one passed away you know uh it was that was just it wasn't uh I don't think the exclusive was nothing it was not a word yeah and uh I uh I can remember my uncles taking their wives home sometimes and coming back to the party right you know and and it was a very different culture yeah and uh so it took me a long time to like say wait a minute you know this it's not gonna work out you know and uh for a long time and I think I think the time in the 50s and 60s and even maybe the 70s women tolerated that yeah they don't do it no they don't tolerate No More now uh wife shoots husband 27 times with an automatic ride you know it's not like standing husband was husband committed suicide stabbed himself four times in the back um can you also talk a little bit about there's a section about the the mental hospital um the psychiatric institution and your mom um can you talk a little bit about that because that was I wasn't expecting it yeah um however much you're comfortable talking about what bye uh my mom uh you know she had a lot of guilt I mean that was what was happening you know and uh and before like my dad found out what was going on she had had a breakdown and I knew what it was you know and she was it was a long-term relationship that she was having that you were keeping a secret as a child and yeah and I didn't I didn't even tell my dad that when when even when that happened and then afterwards when uh when uh my dad found out because the therapist told him right you know which was but it's so strange that Danny levitov had had this therapist son living with this big kid right now and the kids started using and Danny didn't know how to get him out so he called me so I threw him out you know so I don't know if that was in retalier one anyway so I don't know why he told my dad but told my dad so my dad threw my mom out and then he came and confessed to me what happened and I wanted to punch him I was so [ __ ] angry I wanted to just be just beat him but he was broken I mean this this was the most man I've ever known right and and you know I handled my wife you know that and oh God he was so broke and I just so I didn't say anything I didn't remind him and then when he got back with her I thought I was angry then me and Diane Danny Boy's mom stayed over one night and then my mom stopped me in the hallways and said you know what I don't want that stuff going on I wanted to punch her I wanted soccer I I we just left and I said you know I didn't know what to do I didn't uh I had to like in fact Max and Mario were the ones that started because we moved right next you know right near my mom so they started going over there for breakfast the rats you know and started being friends with so it kind of like brought me back full circle and then I realized that she had to escape my dad the way I had to escape my Dad we just used just different escapes and I think by the time and the way God works again my my son went over there on his birthday and then he called me and then I talked to my mom hey Mama I miss you and it was like the most loving conversation I ever had with her and we'd already gotten like you know made of men's and right and I understood and and then uh I just got to like just really like have a conversation with her for about 20 minutes because I was in England and then and then later they called me and she passed away you know where does that anger go now it's not it no longer reaches that kind of anger because there's there's not that it's not here anymore you know what I mean I mean I imagine if somebody hurt my kids that anger would come up really quick but you know it's funny because when they were talking about the guy that that was using with my daughter and somebody said it was going to kill him I don't know shall we we started too no wait wait wait hold it wait a minute right right you know so we gotta like pull back real quick you know what's your favorite um what's your favorite role you've done well I would have to say Spy Kids because it shows this this crazy insane guy but loves his his nieces and nephews you know I mean it just it was like this guy this mental uh I'm he's a genius with the with the spy gear and then he but he likes his kids you know so I would say that because a lot of people my favorite movie was machete because that's like I had like like a super duper I became in fact I remember the first Halloween after machete I almost started crying when kids came to the door dressed you know five years old with a mustache and you know dresses machete you know that was like wow what was your experience like on Breaking Bad because you know I actually was late to the party I watched Breaking Bad many years after everybody had and um you know seeing you when you appear was just well it was just incredible because it was so I mean you're so perfect and um obviously such a dramatic role you know spoiler alert for anyone um who hasn't seen it but what was that experience like that was such an iconic show you know what's so funny is first they did the last part first you know first it was I was they've had the head on the tortoise all that nobody knew where it came just and so then they called us back and said hey we've got to do the first part amazing you know and Gloria said Dan we just held them up you know so another a lot more money and uh right and so we went and did the first the first part was funny you know hey okay get me one of these okay I want one of these for my porch you know God man it's like just typical Bracero yeah drug dealer you know but it was just a lot of fun and that crew was so much fun you know are there parts of your previous life that you miss yeah fishing with my uncle I like that and then like I remember going to going to the peer with my dad and uncle you know and I got I was really young but I remember you know I remember one time being on a boat with my dad and my uncles and the only thing there was to eat was anchovies so I ate some anchos I think that was the first time I ever ate sushi you certainly come a very long way from anchovies to um that book was a lot of fun too and you know there's Trails tacos and also um non-alcoholic drinks in there too oh non-alcoholic tree that is good I love that um Jonathan and I are both non-drinkers these days and um I I I did used to love a beer with Mexican food but I have to say that the non-alcoholic drinks also do the trick alcoholic beer it was like I uh I just uh you know whatever you want that's it's like like uh but my mom if my if you came over to my mom's and it did again it didn't matter how me and her but if if you came up to my mom's and and you came around 5 30. she was just gonna put down another plate right it wasn't like she was gonna invite you to dinner or if I came in with two friends at 3 30 in the morning she would like okay you want some eggs or I mean that was just yeah the job then right it's true well it has really been such a pleasure to talk to you and thank you for walking us through all of the aspects of your life and it's just really been an honor to talk to you so thank you thank you man this was great and uh CJ I hope you liked it [Laughter] [Music] I really could have talked to that man for a long time this Memoir you know I didn't want to embarrass him and read him the entire book because obviously he he wrote it so he knows um but seeing the picture the pictures are often my favorite part of a book I'm just gonna be honest when I get a memoir and it's in my hands or a biography I want to go straight to the pictures and I have to say like you get such a feel for an entirely different era of existence that Dany was raised in you know I didn't know he was he I didn't know he was as old as he is he's got a very youthful way about him and I had no idea that he was born in World War II which means that he grew up in like like his he shows his parents in zoot suits and like they were like his mom looked like a movie star like with the gorgeous curled hair and the red lipstick and you know he grew up in this very specific pocket of of 1950s you know Los Angeles um in the Mexican-American community and um there's photos of his uncle Gilbert which like it's just like such a heartbreak this story um of his uncle and it's just it shows him with his like his wives it's it's really unbelievable sorry I could talk all about his adorable babies there's pictures of all his kids in here um but you know he has dug so deep into telling the stories you know of his life and there are so many lessons from just his early life before he even got to prison that children should not have to learn you know like he said that the secrets and just the the culture you know as he described it but his life in in jail and in prison and those experiences I mean you can't believe I cannot believe that that then is the same person who was then acting in movies and television with all of that pain and all of that violence you know that he witnessed and experienced and was part of and he's just made this incredible life and just like when I at first I was like oh he's got a cook like when I heard he had a restaurant because like I live in L.A I was like oh he probably has nothing to do with it and it's just like oh they put his name on it like because he wants to make money like I had no idea it's a little cynical a little cynical take it's super cynical but also like it's la like celebrities they put their names on everything but when I read about just like you know the the culture of taking care of people that way and how good it makes him feel to be of service in this way and it's just like the the cutest thing like I'm sorry it's the cutest thing is his face on the cover of this book just joyfully pouring a non-alcoholic beverage I just can't get enough of this man the way he got into the movie industry too almost like by happenstance and then starts training Eric Roberts like what were those training sessions like there's something about him like you can't just take any dude who who grew up witnessing what he witnessed and and going to prison and being told by a judge like we're so tired of you kill someone in the worst way possible so that we never have to even deal with you and can lock you away forever for that man like that's not just like anybody's story like there's something about the way he wanted to connect with other people in prison he wanted to help them get clean like something was sparked in him that became a life of being a completely different oriented you know person in service and for him to also admit that like emotions are still like the hardest thing for him like that is still what he had to process oh that was such a powerful part excerpted the book that you read you can tell as how he replied to us like that it was an ugly cry that it wasn't a manly cry and there is a notion now that reclaiming our ability to have intense emotions is actually extremely powerful but that's not ever glorified right we only glorify the rage the violence well and and he actually he talked a lot about that notion of of glorification because you know a lot of the films that he was asked to be part of they wanted him to you know recreate moments and he'd be like oh if we create this this way like someone's gonna get shot like you can the key is there for those of us who grew up where like Stand and Deliver was like the most amazing film that so many of us had seen about like this teacher who like believes in his students but he had the opportunity to work with literally Academy Award like level Edward James almost and he was like that's not how you do this movie and like just the balls on him sorry the ovaries on him you know to to just talk to Edward James almost like that and be like that's not how it went down and this like this gang is going to be upset with you if you portray it this like he was the real deal but when he talked about his son's film which is called from a sun he said in the book after the last take Gilbert and I hugged and he named his son Gilbert I thanked him for bringing so much of what I had buried deep inside to the surface and when he talked about it he talked about it in the first person not like it was the character like it was happening to him like he was telling that story and I was like oh he's talking about in the film you know like he was so and here's what he said I was so proud the the art of creating together brought us closer than we'd ever been I was so proud as a father and even as an artist it was it was almost like my life's journey had taken Gilbert and me to this place where we could examine the different Hells we'd gone through from both our perspectives as a father and son and as former addicts to make a story that could help people going through something similar oh besides his namesake my son Gilbert has taught me more than anyone else I have ever known he receives a humanitarian award in Highland Park and he went with his son like there's so many beautiful things um and and his relationship with the women in his life you know which you you really learn you know through through his Memoir um oh just you know he he was with remarkable women and you know I it's not that I don't believe that remarkable women fall in love with men who were in prison it's that there's something about this man and his Charisma and his personality he wants so much to connect you know in this way with people and I just I think it's so fascinating how he's turned it into you know a life of literally Food Service like helping people you know have this as part of their life and it's just I think it's very special and as an Angelino it's he's such a special part you know of La culture he spoke a little bit about this the transition from convict to actor acting wasn't new to me I acted to survive my childhood I acted like I wasn't scared when I was terrified in Folsom I acted to keep my sanity I had to move I had to speak out loud I had to hear my own voice it does feel like there's like a a level of authenticity to everything that he's bringing when you were talking about him in prison giving people advice it felt like he was you know a sage figure that people I mean he's a counselor yeah yeah you were trying to say he there's an element of counseling to him that he understands how to like Reach people yeah he's he's I mean he's he's I think he really sees like he's doing God's work and that's what you do the way you the way you keep it is you give it away that's like classic big book you know um that is the job you know of someone who's sober is to is to stay sober and help other people stay sober and he was so driven to do that and you know how many people go into prisons and try and help people get sober like there's there's something about and I'm not saying he got every person's over that he tried to but he knew that there's something about hearing it from someone who was in there the way he was and was a violent violent person um you know to have such a different perspective but when I asked him about the things that sort of he knew you know when he got to prison and when he you know was in those situations and when he was in jail um you know the the saddest set of lessons that he learned you know those that was his training and when you think about as an actor you know like he said he was acting his whole life like he was coached he was coached to like you know fake people out let them think you are so crazy right so he had to take on this Persona based on essentially coaching of I mean and in the book he gives so many fascinating examples of like the ways that you had to show hierarchical Power you know in that prison system and and in jail like that and um it is very interesting to to think of it not as not as acting but like you know we're all acting right we're all posturing and and especially when we're tweens and teenagers and we're trying to figure out who we are which is like the age he was at you you're trying to say like I mean I remember like I had a hippie phase right I had a goth phase like we're trying on all these different masks and like we still do it as adults you know we actually get some questions from our audience about the nature of masculinity and what does it mean to be masculine now and how has that changed and from his perspective going from someone with his experience what is it how do you deal with the rage that you spoke about now and for people who are only listening what he said is it's not here anymore and when he said here he put his hand up to his throat yeah so he like it wasn't as prevalent and so if you're only listening to that it's not that it wasn't there at all for him it's like it's as he's gotten older he's been able to metabolize it and it's not you know at the ready as quickly as he had previously talked about it I I want to end with this um avoiding feelings and pretending not to feel them that was what my life was about for so long I just want to say that again avoiding feelings and pretending not to feel them was what my life was about for so long prison was the same drugs jacking off anything to get out of my head for five or ten minutes combined with Never Letting on how I truly felt I acted mean till I believed it um powerful when I got my first crack at acting on runaway train I'd been in training for 40 years I was like a fish who'd found water the goal of films is to teach us that you can Prevail over your difficulties in life if you have courage yeah that's a that's an incredibly courageous man we hope everyone has a little courage to overcome yeah and um I learned a lot from talking to Danny Trejo and just really grateful we got that opportunity with a special guy and uh yeah pick up Trejo's Cantina or Trejo's tacos or just Trejo from our breakdown to the one we hope you never have we'll see you next time [Music] down it's a breakdown she's gonna break it down [Music]

Channel: Mayim Bialik

Views: 137,097

Keywords: mayim bialik, big bang theory, amy farrah fowler, mayim, celebrity news

Id: YsXNO1qZy9E

Length: 86min 0sec (5160 seconds)

Published: Tue Apr 18 2023