Creatures of Habit Week 4 - Workaholism

hi my name is Steve po and I'm a workaholic now for those of you that have ever been a part of a recovery group or ever seen one on television you'll recognize that opening sentence because that's the way you introduce yourself when you're part of a recovery group but I would just tell you guys for me those are not just words I've certainly developed a bad habit in this particular area of my life from this area of workaholism it's a bad habit disguised as a good habit you know what I mean by that here's what I mean we've been talking about in this series last year series I quit we we listed six bad habits this year we're talking about five bad habits these are all habits that we struggle with as I said I chose these habits because I've struggled with each and every one of them some more than others and when we talk about those bad habits we often times feel ashamed we feel embarrassed we don't want to tell anybody hey I'm a liar and I need help you know we don't want to say that we're embarrassed about that or I struggle with lust or or I I have an anger issue or whatever it may be we don't want to talk about that but that's not the case when it comes to workaholism workaholism is one of those bad habits in our society in our culture today that we wear as a badge of honor because some somehow someway we have come to believe that if I'm a workaholic that means I had this great work ethic and and people are look up to me and they're impressed by how hard I work in fact I would just tell you in going around on Saturday night and shaking hands and talking with some of you today and then the last service often times people look at workaholism and they're like yeah I'm a workaholic we almost say it with a bit of pride because our culture has led us to believe that our culture has brought us to think that and I'll I'll tell you for me it was certainly more of a problem when I was younger as a young adult because I've tried to work on it and I feel like I'm getting better at it I can't tell you I've completely gotten rid of it in my life but I'm better at it but when I was younger there were things that I would do that or bear to admit but like I'll give an example whenever the church that I pastored in Missouri I would park right outside the front door of the church and people would know when I was in the office or not and so whenever I was going out of town if I was going traveling with somebody they'd say I'll come by and pick you up I'd say no just pick me up at church because I wanted to leave my car at church so that it would be there day and night and people drive by and go bad guy I'd say he works all the time I mean he is the hardest worker we have got one hard-working pastor I know that's sick but it's true also what I would do is my day off has always been Fridays as the day off that I take and people would say and it's a true statement actually but people would say Steve when's your day off and I'd say well you know my day off is Friday but I don't ever get it because I work seven days a week now that was a true statement because of issues in my life but I wanted to make sure everybody knew it because again I felt like people would be impressed I felt like people would think more of me or look up to me if I had that one more example I lived in a cul-de-sac at the time and across this cul-de-sac was a guy I didn't know him well but I knew his brother well his brother was a believer and but he was not and so one time his brother the believer says to me you're having a great impact on my brother I just want you to know and I said really I don't have that much engagement with him and he said well every morning I don't know if you noticed but every morning at 5:00 5:45 he sees you leaving at the same time that he's leaving and it really impressed him that a pastor 545 would be going to work and I and again I felt a lot of pride it felt good the truth is we had a 6:00 a.m. prayer meeting and I always had to go unlock the church and and lead the prayer meeting but I loved it it was kind of a it was kind of an argument for my wife when I was trying to tell her why I worked so much see what I'm seeing an impact on our neighbors and so again a lot of pride in the fact that I wore it as a badge of honor well for those of you that are our guests we're in week four of a five-week series called creatures of habit and as I just said a minute ago we're talking about those areas of our life that have become bad habits now when you invite Christ into your life you step across that line of faith God breaks that hold of sin in your life sin no longer can have its hold on you or its grip on you it's broken in other words we have the power to say no to sin but oftentimes when we come into the Christian journey into the Christian life we carry along the bad habits that we had before and for many different reasons maybe we're just lazy and apathetic and we don't want to go to the work of getting rid of them whatever maybe we're comfortable with them whatever the reason we bring a lot of these bad habits with us Christ came into our life to transform us to change us to take on Christ nature his character but oftentimes we drag these bad habits with us the problem with the bad habit a habit of course is formed by something you do over and over again till it just becomes second nature but when you ignore a bad habit in your life it literally becomes a spiritual stronghold and that spiritual strongholds gonna get a grip on you and it's very very difficult to get it to let go well if you want to get rid of a bad habit in your life one of the best ways to do so is to replace it with a good habit now you didn't get there overnight you didn't get in a bad habit over night it took a lot of time in the same way you're not gonna get rid of it overnight it's gonna take a lot of intentionality it's gonna take a lot of determination that you're gonna replace it for instance line maybe lying is a bad habit for you you replace it with truth-telling and so you have to be intentional about always telling the truth and the more you do so it creates spiritual disciplines to do so then you'll get rid of the bad habit of lying but the thing is is that when we create these spiritual disciplines in our life it creates fruit which the Bible calls the fruit of the Spirit which is the evidence of spiritual growth so you want to know whether you're growing as a Christian you need to determine whether the fruit of this fear it is evident in your life that others are recognizing and seeing the fruit of the Spirit in your life guys that's why it's so important for us to acknowledge these issues and decide we're going to deal with them because if we ignore them if we don't deal with them it's going to keep us from God's best in our life now through this series we've used the galatians 5 as kind of a theme verse verse 16 Paul writes so I say let the Holy Spirit guide your lives then you won't be doing what your sinful nature craves so in other words he says let them walk in the spirit let the Holy Spirit be your focus let your life be driven by the Holy Spirit's lead and then when you do that you won't be doing what your sinful nature craves you'll start to walk away from these bad habits in your life so we're gonna talk today about the habit of workaholism and this is when you're addicted to work in much the same way an alcoholic is addicted to alcohol and as you know addictions can come from forms any form I mean there's drug addiction there's addiction to food there's alcohol addiction there's gambling addiction there's porn addiction I mean on and on it goes addictions are typically divided into two broad categories substance addiction and behavioral addiction substance addiction is when you're addicted to a substance again like we just said alcohol or drugs behavioral addictions consist of compulsive behaviors that if not dealt with can take over somebody's life now for me again I can fess I've struggled with workaholism more so when I was younger but still struggle today but for me I would just tell you I love to work and at times in the past it's almost been and has been a compulsion for me a big part of it is that I love what I do you see it's not just a job for me but I feel like it's a calling from God and so therefore I've used that as justification I've tried to say well of course I work hard I'm doing it for the Lord as if somehow the harder I work the more God's gonna love me and certainly I want God's love to intensify so I want to do even better a job and yet I cannot use listen to me guys I cannot use my calling nor can you as an excuse to justify my need to overwork God is not pleased because I forsake my other responsibilities to work God is not pleased when that fly flies right in my face my mouth was open to thank goodness but we cannot use our calling as an excuse to justify early dov'è work in fact truth is if I'm being honest I've struggled with it long before I was ever in ministry there's certainly a lot of things that drive this in my life and some of those things are good and some of those things are bad the same thing is true with you if you were to look at the bad habits in your life there are they're actually good things that drive it but oftentimes it really is motivated more by some of the negative things in our life I think the positive thing for instance I think the positive thing is that I have a strong desire to accomplish big things for God so I really do have this heart's desire that I want to I want to make a significant difference in our world I want to I want to make a difference in people's lives and so I'm motivated by that but if we compared it to an alcoholic I would tell you that I took my first drink of accomplishment when I was in my early 20s and I opened up my first business which was a restaurant we opened literally opened the same week that my oldest son Ryan was born not too well planned it actually wasn't planned that way Ryan was supposed to be born on July the 4th and so we were gonna open up the restaurant on July the 15th but he delayed and in his delay in an adobo he ended up coming right when we had the grand opening so it was crazy crazy crazy time in my life I was working 80 hours 80 plus hours a week you have still trying to be there for sandy well the restaurant was a big success which was exciting but it only made me want to drink more this drug of accomplishment so I continued to open up more new businesses all the time running from God's call on my life from the time I was 18 I felt like God had called me into ministry but that's not what I wanted to do and so I just continued to go another direction but at the age of 29 through a series of events that I'm not going to get into right now God got my attention and I stopped running and I went into ministry and I kept telling my wife as I went into ministry it's not gonna be as bad as it's been before I know I I know I work a lot I'm putting a lot hours but now that I've been ministry it's not gonna be as bad when in fact I actually ended up working more I became the senior pastor of our home Church the church the church elected me by a landslide not true they elected me by one vote and of course that had a part in it as well I felt this overwhelming need to prove my worth or value I wanted to prove to all these people that didn't vote for me how wrong they were that they should have voted for me that I'm God's man for the hour right and so I had that to prove and that was going on it was a smaller Church of about 300 people so it didn't have a lot of staff basically when you're in a church that size you're doing most everything yourself my first year as pastor was crazy it literally was was insane my first years Pastore I worked I would come to the church every morning I'd leave as I just said at 5:45 to come and lead a prayer morning at the prayer meeting at the church at 6:00 a.m. as soon as the prayer meeting was over it was an hour per meeting I would go to my office and I would begin working now you have to understand that in those days not so much anymore in those days I preached three different messages a week I did a Wednesday night message I did a Sunday morning message and I did a Sunday night message it was insane and it's why I was a bad preacher because seriously I mean I spend when I do a talk today I'll spend 20 hours at least on putting this together every pastor I know will tell you the same thing I don't know most pastors all of my notes spent at least 20 hours on a sermon when you're doing three different sermons a week you can't put twenty hours a week on each sermon not to mention I was doing all the Hospital visitations I was and all the the weddings all the funerals all the meetings we had a Wednesday night service I was doing it all and so I'm putting very little time into a sermon and so it just wasn't strong just wasn't strong messages not to mention the fact I would leave before my kids got out of bed they weren't up at 5:45 and by the time I got home was about 9 or 10:00 at night and so I wasn't seeing my kids they were already in bed when I got home so Monday through Thursday I literally didn't see my kids Friday was my day off but I explained to my wife that I'm so behind I've got to work on Friday morning so I'm gonna be at work and then I'll come home about noon well I never made it home at noon it was always about three o'clock we would go pick the kids up from school and then we would go have kind of art or a family night if you will I studied on Saturday mornings that come home Saturday afternoon with the family then I preached a sermon Sunday morning and another one of the p.m. that schedule continued for the first year that I was in ministry we didn't take any vacations sandy wanted to take a vacation but I kept saying I can't get away I just no way that I can be gone and so we didn't take any vacations the end of that first year she convinced me she said we need to we've got to get away and she said let's go down to see my sister we lived in st. Joseph Missouri her sister lived in Joplin and so we drove down for the weekend to be with her sister's family while we were there when I got there I fell asleep in the chair I ended up sleeping almost all the weekend I'm not overstating that she'd wake me up for us to go out to dinner and we'd all go what climb in the car and I'd fall asleep in the car and it really went on the entire weekend because I was just physically exhausted so when we got home sandy was not happy and when we got home she just said to me she said Steve listen if this is ministry I don't want any part of it if this is what ministry is I'm not sticking around you just need to know I'm leaving you're never here for the kids they don't even see you except on on the weekends and so she said him then very little so she said I'm not doing this well that was a that was a big wake-up call for me certainly I knew I had to do something about this out of balance lifestyle that not only my family had but this out of balance lifestyle that I was living I convinced myself of course but it was all for God and God was pleased God was proud the more you do the more he loves you right but that's just not true that is just not true I will promise you friends that God was not pleased with the way I was managing my family I will promise you that God was not pleased with the way I was leading my marriage with the way I was even leaving the church he certainly wasn't proud of me though my relationship with him because even though I was a pastor this working so hard was having an impact on my relationship with God so things didn't prove things did get better I stopped working from some crazy hours and they continued to improve over the years but I would just tell you I still struggle with it we just had the conversation the other night exactly and maybe because this was coming up but we talked about it again on ways that I could kind of pull back on some things and in fact I would just tell you this is a true statement when Sandi leaves town can I tell you what she doesn't say to me when Sandi leaves town she doesn't say Steve while I'm gone please don't visit the bars she doesn't say that what sandy says to me every time she goes out the door when she's gonna be gone for several days she'll say Steve please promise me you're not gonna work the whole time I'm gone please promise you're not gonna be at the church day and night because she knows that's my pattern she knows that's me that's what I'll do so again even though things greatly improved I'm still working way too much as I said a few minutes ago most of the dictions have a stigma that goes along with it they're therefore no one wants to be known as an addict but I would just also tell you guys that workaholism is the most respectable sin in the Christian community it's the most respectable sin in the Christian community and it is a very common problem here in Hamilton County I know for a fact that I'm talking to an audience with a large percentage of those that are workaholics I don't just mean people that work hard I'll get to that Justin but I'm talking about those that are workaholics instead of being embarrassed about it people wear it as I said as a badge of honor I thought working long I thought working long hours would cause people to look up to me would cause them to admire me therefore the more I've worked the better I felt about myself now please don't get me wrong I am NOT suggesting that you refrain from working hard that is not what I'm saying in fact far from it in fact the opposite is true guys listen I believe that God wants us to be hard workers with a strong work ethic if you're a Christian I think Christians should be the hardest workers on the job they ought to have the very best attitude they should be the most dependable and they should be men and women of integrity I believe that to my core I believe that our employers when they look at their employees they should point to the believers they should point to the Christians and say that guy that girl is a hard worker I would trust them with my business I'm telling you they're people of integrity I look up to them I respect them those should be the thoughts those should be the feelings of employers over there Christa or over their employees that are Christians I think that's exactly what Paul is saying in Colossians chapter 3 he says whatever you do work at it with all your heart as working for the Lord not for human masters meaning what meaning that I'm not doing it guys I'm not just doing it to impress an employer I'm not just doing it to impress employees I'm doing it for an audience of one I believe that it honors God when I give my best I believe that it honors God when I am a man or a woman of integrity I believe that God listened to me on this I don't want to chase a rabbit here but I do want you to hear me on this I believe that God has you in your place of employment for more than just a paycheck I believe that God has you where you are where you're working for more than just a paycheck I know there are some of you that are saying I don't know why I'm here I don't want to be here I'd like to have another place of employing than another job in fact people have talked to me and said Steve I don't understand I keep praying that God would open the doors for me to get another job but he hasn't why isn't he here amita matter is he may not be answering your prayer because he's not done with you where you are God has you where you are to live life on mission God has you where you are to be an influence to your co-workers for the kingdom of God it's so much more important it's so much bigger than the paycheck you're drawing and yet and yet we just don't see it we just don't understand the value of her the belief that God has a purpose and a plan for our life and that he has you're not there by accident you're there on purpose and God wants to use you in that way okay something guys you're to live your life on mission so then what's the difference between a hard worker that blesses the Lord and a workaholic that's unhealthy and grieves the Lord what's the difference this person is a hard worker they put in a lot of time and their blessing God this person puts in a lot hours but they're a workaholic and it grieves the Lord what is the difference I'll tell you what the difference is it's in our attitude it's in our heart everything and the Christian journey guys it always comes back to the heart it always comes back to our motivation it always comes back to where our focus is is your focus on the job on your employment or is your focus on Christ that makes all of the difference it's what is it in other words what is it that's driving you for instance a hard worker who is emotionally a hard worker who is emotionally present for his family a hard worker that's emotionally present for co-workers and friends and who manages to maintain a healthy balance between work and personal responsibility is not necessarily a workaholic you know it's like if you come up to me and you say Steve I you know I work hard I put in a lot of hours but I don't think I'm a workaholic because Christ is still my focused he's still priority my family is still my focus and so I make sure that I have a healthy balance I make sure that I put my family first but put him before my job that person is not a workaholic but the person that gets out of bed every morning listen to me the person that gets out of bed every morning puts your feet on the floor the very first thing you think about is work then work has become an idol for you work has become a problem for you if you get out of bed in the morning the very first thing you think about is God the very first thing you think about is your family then it may just very well be that work is not an idol in your life you're just a hard worker you have a good working ESSEC but you're not a workaholic but a true true tale is what do you think about the very first thing of your day what's on your mind what comes to your mind how many how much stuff you have to do every day so so this healthy place is what all of us this healthy person that has a good work ethic and is the that is trying to do their best but keeps a healthy balance keeps them focused on Christ keeps their focus on their family that's a place all of us should aspire to be in a Harvard Business Review podcast that I heard Nancy Roth Byrd who is a professor as a professor of management at the University of Pennsylvania's Wharton School so this was a secular podcast she draws a distinction between workaholism and working long hours and here's the way she puts it she says this basically long hours are 50 hours a week or more so there are some people who work a lot but they can turn it off they might even work once they get home but if something is demanding their attention at home or if they you know need to go to the gym or they want to hang out with friends they're able to do it without ruminating on their work unquote and another article she read I found some stuff she had written and another article titled how being a workaholic differs from working long hours and why that matters for your health Rothbard talks about a medical research a study that was done of over 700 employees and what they found is that it was not the work hours that caused the health issues it was the workaholism that caused the health issues and again there's a difference so I'm hoping you're seeing the difference so it wasn't just that somebody worked really hard and put in a lot of hours that caught these problems it was the workaholism tendencies that caused these problems employees who worked more than 40 hours a week but did not obsess about work reported fewer health complaints than employees who demonstrated workaholism she went on to say they found that workaholics whether or not they worked long hours reported more health complaints and had increased metabolic syndrome had more sleep issues or sleep problems had more cynicism or emotional exhaustion and more depressive feelings than employees who merely worked long hours but did not have these workaholic tendencies Rothbart Rothberg then gives seven statements on how to tell whether your workaholic or not I love these and I thought you know I'm just gonna use these she gave seven statements and she says if four or more of these applied to your life you better step up and deal with workaholism in your life if four more of these and so I want us to quickly look at these pull your notes out if you haven't already they're listed there number one you think of how you can free up more time to work you're always thinking about how to free up more time to work so in other words you're the you're the multitasker you're the one that spins plates and you're not satisfied with spinning plates you're trying to think about how can I find another way to spin even more plates number two you spend much more time working than initially attended you're the one that tells your spouse I'll be home at six and then you walk through the door at nine you didn't intend to do that but you just allowed work to continue to control your schedule number three you work in order to reduce feelings of guilt anxiety helplessness and depression so in other words I feel guilty when I don't work I feel guilty when I'm not giving my all to the company and so you work more in order to reduce those feelings number four you've been told by others to cut down on work without listening to them people that love you people that care about you have come along and said and you just really need to back off you just really need to focus on your family you've heard them but you've ignored number five you become stressed if you're prohibited from working and so like you get sick and you can't go to work and it just stresses you out that much more it's like I can't be at home which is why our workplaces are filled with sick people anymore because people don't stay home with the flu anymore because they're just so stressed if they do the same way you got a day off you don't want to take a day off because you feel all the guilt that comes with it number six you d prioritize hobbies leisure activities and exercise because of your work in other words I don't have time for hobbies anymore I remember I said to one guy I said used to be a golfer you don't seem to go off anymore now up I don't have time for it work takes up too much of my time someday when I retire I'll probably go back to it but I don't have time to golf anymore so what are your hobbies I don't have any I just don't there's no time right now number seven you work so much that it has negatively influenced your health that's a common thing many of you've heard it from doctors yourself it created it creates heart disease it creates cancer and a number of other diseases that take place in our life so what about you did you see four more of them in your life because if you did then you need to deal you need to deal with work all Azzam in your life if you see four more of these now for me I would just tell you guys that again I told you it was a bigger issue when I was younger and older I would say to you now not so much but when I saw those I thought okay I haven't completely walked away from there's still need to deal with and again I'm not talking about working hard I'm talking about workaholic traits that have to do with the attitude of the heart they have to do with our focus so if you got more than four you need to deal with it in your life what are you gonna do to break this habit of work at a halt or call ISM and put some balance back into your life again workaholism has more to do with our heart our focus as your work become an idol in your life what is an idol an idol is anything that steps between you and God the Bible says you are no longer your own you've been bought with a price so God needs to be it is supposed to be the first priority in your life he's supposed to be the most important thing so an idol is when there is something that steps in between you and God that's an idol we think of idolatry is something that happened centuries ago but we still have idolatry today idolatry is anything that steps between you and God so if work has become more important to you than God then it has become an idol in your life when you wake in the morning what do you think about so you need to take the necessary steps to eliminate it in your life and so now I want to give you seven things you can do to break this bad habit in your life so let's go through these kind of quick number one is acknowledge it now guys I've said that on every habit we've talked about that's number one why because that's where it starts until you own it until you acknowledge it you're not gonna get victory over this bad habit there has to come a place where you you you own it there has to come a place where you confess it to God and you confess it to the people you love the most are the ones that it's affecting the most to be able to say to your spouse to be able to say to someone close to you that you know what I just want you to know that I've struggled with this bad have in my life I own that and I'm gonna start working on it so owning it the scripture says confess your sins one to another and pray for each other why so that you can be healed so if you want your life to be healthy the first thing is you've got to own the bad habits in your life and determine that you're going to determine that you're going to deal with it in your life so like an addiction like any addiction or bad behavior that is absolutely the first step number two then is change your mindset what does that mean a mindset is just that it's what your mind is set on it's called a mindset because I've set my mind I've set my focus on this most workaholics believe that our work must take priority in our life well you need to change that way of thinking while the workplace I said it a minute ago while the workplace certainly needs to be an important part of our life it should in no way be as important to us as a relationship with God or is our relationship with our family as I said workaholics often find their significance or identity in their job or what they do I don't want that to go over your head workaholics often find their significance or their identity in their job or what they do friends if you're a believer if you're a Christian and that's why you must change your mindset you are a child of God you're a Christian that's who you are so you need to be honest with yourself ask yourself the question Who am I well I'm a doctor no that's what you do who are you why I'm an attorney no that's what you do while I'm a teacher no that's what you do and we get so confused in our culture today we think who we are is what we do for a living and that's absolutely not true who you are as a child of God I am I'm a child of God he loves me and has a plan for my life that is Who I am and that's where my identity is all wrapped up and when I understand that it makes everything else begins to make sense in my life so change that mindset number three set healthy boundaries set healthy boundaries that's hard I know that's hard and I'm not doing great at it all the time either but you should try to establish a work schedule for how many hours a week you want to work and then stick to it in other words if you need to include let's say you tell your spouse I need to work at least one night a week or I can't get everything done so I'm gonna work Tuesday nights till about nine o'clock as long as everybody gets it and everybody's on the same page it's not a problem that's not where the problems come the problems come when you think you're coming home at 6:00 but you never come home till 9:00 you you you state this is what you're gonna do but that never happens because work becomes work becomes a priority and so work begins to control your schedule and so you no longer control your schedule your schedule controls you that's what happens and that's why you've got to begin to set some of these boundaries these healthy boundaries in your life make a commitment to go home at a fixed time each day you know one of the things I don't have when I used to hire all the staff I haven't done that in a while but whenever I hire I always sit them down and had this talk and the reason I did is because I found if I didn't have the talk I was gonna end up having them in my office later to deal with these issues and so I would always say when they came in I would say look here's the thing about ministry you may not know and that is your work will never be finished when you get to the end of your day whatever that day time is six o'clock and you say I'm I'm six o'clock I'm still not done I've got a ton of things to finish this up you just have to understand that's just the way ministry is you're not gonna be done so you just go home and you come back tomorrow and you just pick it up where you left off the day before but you've got to understand that well the same thing is true and many of the professions that you all are in many of the things that you do your day your work is never finished and so there has to come a point where you draw the line and say this is when I go home and it'll just have to be there tomorrow because my family's important to me too and so therefore I believe in this I'm going home to show priority to my family that they're important that I love them that they matter or that I'm gonna show importance in my relationship with God I need to have that time with God to grow in my faith to grow in my relationship with him learn to say no and to walk away number four keep a Sabbath keep a Sabbath in other words make sure that you schedule at least one day a week off for rest and relaxation for goodness sakes when God created the world he took a day off I mean he rested on the seventh of God Almighty thinks it's important to take a day off how much more important is it for you and me to take a day off I you know I said and a message I preached several years ago some of you were here and remember this I made a statement and all the men in the church absolutely loved it as I said sometimes guys the most spiritual thing you can do is take a nap well every guy went home that day and their wife's bothering they're like pastor steel look I'm trying to grow here spiritually I'm trying to be the spiritual leader of my home would you leave me alone and so but in all seriousness rest is an important part of our spiritual growth it's an important part of our spiritual health so for me I work from Saturday through Thursday and I take Friday off and since Friday is my day off Sandeen I treat Thursday night as our date night we've done that for many many many years thirty years ago I made that commitment that Friday belonged to my family so even when my kids were home we made that commitment if someone asked me for a Friday appointment I just tell them no I don't explain to them no that's my family day because sometimes people are like are you serious my family's in crisis and you you're not gonna give me Friday because you're gonna go home yeah yeah that's why I don't even tell them what I'm doing I just saying people say can I meet on Friday no I've already got a another appointment I've already got something on my calendar I'm sorry I can meet you any other day but I can't meet you on Friday people will call that are coming in from out of town on that need to meet with the church for some reason Steve can I meet with you I'm Friday no but if you can come in on Thursday on me with you do you come in on Monday or on me with you but no I can't do that on Friday and I've just I've just stood on that because you have to have those type of boundaries in your life if not at the same thing will happen again everybody else will control your schedule instead of you you've got to determine I'm gonna control my schedule I have zero responsibilities on Friday other than to rest have fun and to be with my wife number five schedule family holidays schedule family holidays if you don't schedule family vacation time with your kids then busy schedules will never allow for it at the beginning of the year excuse me at the beginning of the year I will pencil in where I want to take my vacations and I share that with my staff I share with with everybody that's involved with running the church because it used to be when I was younger I do that you know I thought you know this is church work this is ministry I cancelled too and my kids were growing up we did go I wasn't a super anyway I cancelled two Disney vacations because of Church that we had planned that I said I got to cancel because they need me my goodness though the world will come to stop if I'm not here for this and so I know we can't do the vacation we got to do that and so I learned that there had to come a point where I stopped letting my calendar control me and I was gonna control my calendar and so now I plan and it's like you guys just need to plan around it well Steve we wanted to do this on that week I'm not here you can see right here I'm like Calendar I'm going but this is what we need to do I'm sorry I'm gone you can see that I'm gone so you just have to make that type of determination again I didn't use to and my family paid the price as I did it was I used to think how pathetic that I have to schedule a but when Anna but what I now realize if you don't control your calendar it'll control you in fact I would say let me say this if you're gonna waste time and guess what we all waste time if you're gonna waste time waste it with people you care the most about if you're gonna waste time in your day we all will waste it with the people you care the most about in other words if I only have so much time to waste I'm not gonna waste it around the water cooler with the guys at work I'm gonna waste it with my wife and I'm gonna waste it with my family I hope that makes sense number six make time for a hobby make time for a hobby sandy and I try to find things that we like to do together and that's not always hard I mean we're two different people she likes things I don't like and and vice versa she's doing scrapbooking right now not going to happen you know but she likes it so we looked for things we said okay what do we like to do together we try to find things and and we work on that both of us some people say well guys you guys really love movies we do because we found we both liked it and so we go to a lot of movies together we I tried for years we tried for years to find some sport that we could do together I love tennis she didn't like tennis and so we just never could find anything and so finally we discovered pickleball she likes pickleball so we do pickleball together we love to read and what we discovered that we both like a good book I would love to read and what we discovered is we like it best when we're on a beach we discovered we like it best when we're by a pool so that's what we do because we both enjoy doing that we we both found out we're food snobs we are just food snobs we like good food and so we talk to people about where's your favorite place to eat and what do you like and what are you liking and we love it and we're we're quick to say that's no good over there don't want that now but that's good stuff anyway we love to travel we love to travel at home we love to travel internationally as well we both enjoy it that really comes to the top of our list you'll be surprised guys how a couple hours doing something you enjoy together will not only recharge your personal batteries and they will they'll fill your cup again but it'll also strengthen your relationships so whatever it is you like to do just find it what it is and do it together spend time doing it number seven confront your fears and insecurities I can tell you from experience there's a lot of different reasons people become alcoholics there's a lot of different reasons their attitude shifts one of those is the fear of loss the fear of loss oftentimes causes workaholics in other words I have a fear of of loss I have a fear that I won't get a promotion I have a fear that my fellow employees won't respect me as much I have a fear that I won't get a raise I have a fear of a loss of employment a loss of a job the fear of loss is a big motivator for people to become workaholics I've already said this but insecurity is probably the top one insecurity is a big reason we become workaholics I would say that's twice as much as any other it's a need for self-acceptance that we think will come from our work instead of from who we are in Christ listen to me guys ask yourself why is work a priority for me why is work a priority for me are you working hard and striving for success so that people will like you more are you working hard so people will respect you more true self-worth please hear this true self-worth or satisfaction can only be fulfilled by our Heavenly Father true self-worth and satisfaction is only going to be going to come from our Heavenly Father it's only gonna come from understanding where our identity is founded on our identity is in Christ God's love and acceptance of us it's not based upon what we do and what we achieve but it's based on what Jesus Christ did for us what he accomplished for us on the cross 2,000 years ago and of course any time you're trying to break an addiction any time you're trying to break a bad habit accountability is huge I've talked about that every week with each one of these accountability is a big deal you can't typically do this on your own you need people in your world people in your life that love you that care about you guys I know for men that's a harder one than it is for ladies ladies seem to understand the need for people in their lives but guys we're always like wow I can do it on my own I don't need anybody I can do this on my own and so therefore we don't seek people out to be accountability partners and that's that can be a problem because we all need somebody that loves us enough to get in our face and to ask us the tough questions to ask us the hard questions and so the health of your relationship with God as well as your relationships with your family I'm just telling you they're worth it you will find workaholics you will find workaholics and every imaginable occupation and unfortunately more times than not they're successful and I say unfortunately because success only increases their hunger for more in sales they're always at the top of their game in school they're always in the books and sports they're always in the lead for them there's only one thing in life that drives them and that is work so guys again I'm not suggesting that you refrain from hard work that's not what this message is about I'm suggesting you consider whether your work has become an idol to you has your work a profession become more important to you than your relationship with God or your family I'll say it to you again when you wake up in the morning what are you thinking about first what's the first thing that comes to your mind God your relationship with God that you want honor him your family or your work and what needs to be done that day I said this I've told you before but 35 years ago I had a lady come up to me in my church she came up to me and told me about a habit that she'd created in her life and I loved it and I created it as a habit in my life and I've been doing it every morning in my life for 35 years and that's basically what every morning when I put my feet on the ground I sit on the edge of the bed and I just say god this is the day that you have made I will rejoice and be glad in it I want to be used of you on this day I say the same thing every day every morning seven days a week for 35 years you say well that's just become a ridge well that doesn't mean anything anymore I would argue it does because what it does for me is it focuses me on God the first thing of the day it's the first thought of my day as him and that's important now I'm not telling you I'm not gonna mess up later in the day and I'm not I'm gonna get my mind on things that working more than on God and and all of that but I'm just saying I've determined to start my day out focused on him I want him to be a priority in my walk in my life I want him to be the first thought of my day it helps to set my focus on God instead of my job so if you're struggling with workaholism decide you're going to take the necessary steps to break this bad habit in your life if you're but can I just say this guys if you're winning at work but at home you were losing I didn't say this last night so this one's a freebie for you guys if you're winning at work and you're losing at home you are losing and here's what happens when we start when we start losing at home for the workaholic it drives them deeper into alcoholism because that's where they feel like they're winning and because it feels good it drives them farther away from their family deeper into this problem and so I'm just saying guys have a wake up call this morning if you're not winning at home hit pause over here and determine that I'm gonna work on my family I'm gonna work on my marriage I'm gonna work on my relationship with God you know it's like how many times somebody has said to me you know I just said gosh I'd love to get you serving using your gift serving the Lord they're like you know I someday I'll do that someday but right now you know I'm trying to climb the corporate ladder I'm trying to I don't have time right now and I'm like dude hit pause you need to find a way to come back you said the Bible says you were no longer your own you've been bought with a price you belong to him he died for you you belong to him he needs to be the first priority in your life your identity is wrapped up in him if he's not first in your life you need to hit pause over here and you need to find a way to make him first again you need to find a way to make your family first in your life again as well my priorities God is first in my life my family's next and then ministry and everything else follows after that but you've make up your mind let me just throw in one more freebie and that is you're gonna come to the end of your life one day everybody does we all do and you're gonna find you're in the last days of your life maybe lying in a hospital bed maybe lying in a bed at home and you're gonna look around the room and I can promise you what you're not gonna say Todd how is how to work more darn I wish I would have tried more I could have climbed the corporate ladder and one more wrong I just don't know what I was thinking you won't say that I've been doing this a long time I've been at a lot of peoples I've been with a lot of people in their last moments of life and I've never heard that once but what you will do you'll look around the room to see who's there if somebody is there you'll look around the room in hopes that there's people around you that love you people around you that have looked up to you people around you that have respected you you care about you who will be in your room if you're deep into workaholism it's a serious problem and you may end up in those last days alone it's not too late I don't care how old you are it's not too late to hit pause and to say this is gonna change today this habit is going away in my life I'm gonna get my priorities straight pray with me Father thank you for your patience with us and your long-suffering with us god I just want to lift everybody up in this room I know it's a big problem today it's a it's a major problem in our culture it's a major problem in society where we've turned the workplace into an idol we've turned our professions into idolatry and I know it grieves your holy spirit and I know that it's doing damage not only to our relationship with you but it's doing damage to the people we say we love the most and so I pray God for every single one of us in this room that God you forgive us and that you help us to realign our priorities and then you help us through God to put you first once again and to put our family second and then we'll worry about our occupation our profession after that thanks God we love you and we praise you we just ask it all down the name of your son Jesus amen

Channel: Northview Church

Views: 877

Rating: 5 out of 5

Keywords: Northview Church, Northview, Steve Poe, Carmel, Fishers, Westfield, Lafayette, Indy North, Indianapolis

Id: bAoiQXriIrc

Length: 49min 33sec (2973 seconds)

Published: Mon Jan 27 2020