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totally original property of Legend Testers. That's right. I feel like we need to expand, like in a survivalist kind of way, like, not "Survivor Person," >> No. >> but like "Not Dying Man." >> Immortal Woodsman. >> [laughs] Immortal Woodsman! >> Dudes Versus Trees. >> Guys Against the Woods. >> [laughs] Guys Against the Woods! That's our new--okay great,
Guys Against the Woods, gotcha. [deep synthetic rumble] [electrical pop]
[gentle vinyl static] [rising chime] So we're here at
Modern Rogue World Headquarters. Behind us they are actively
building the new warehouse, but theoretically,
let's say we just wanted to live right here, just right here. It's getting cold and it's supposed to be breezy and stormy later today. >> Yeah, we're going to
build a makeshift shelter, and we're going to do it Minecraft style. [Brian laughs in an escalating manner] >> No, that's not how-- >> That hurts, that really hurts. >> I love the fact that you swore you wouldn't do a Minecraft thing, and immediately did a Minecraft thi--
>> I know, but I couldn't help myself! I got to do a Minecraft joke. >> We did something along this
line on Hacking the System, it was sort of like a
lean-to that we made, and we didn't have much time
so it was a little bit shabby. >> It was kind of sad. >> That's fine. >> Yeah. >> Okay but this time
we're going to do it right. What is it that we're building? >> There are conflicting
information online because the internet,
some people call it a teepee, some people call it a wikieup or a wigwam. There are different variations of each one depending on which tribe
you're talking about. First we need to build
a tripod, basically, as the bones, the core
>> Right. >> of our shelter, and
I've selected some wood from this pre-cut pile here.
>> I like this big guy. >> I vetoed that one, but-- >> No way, this one's awesome! It's the Iwo Jima of-- oh, you could even lean this against that. >> JASON: Well, we would need
two others of equal length, right?
>> BRIAN: Oh. >> So, I have three here that are roughly equal length. This is essentially what
it's going to look like. Now you have to make sure that you're giving yourself
enough space in the middle because you're going to sleep there. The wider base you get, of course, the lower the ceiling is going to be. >> So here, tilt that one
a little bit farther back. >> But we have to lash
them together first. >> Uh, lash them together first?
So what, we set them like down here?
>> Yeah, we just set them side-by-side. >> Okay. >> And then we--
here I'll get some rope. >> Oh, so you don't criss-cross them to begin with?
>> No, no. >> You start them--ah! >> JASON: Yeah, we're just going to get them--
>> BRIAN: Pretty sneaky, sis. >> JASON: Let's get them like that. All of the instructions online were, "tie them together!" >> BRIAN: Ah, yeah sure, let's tie them together. If only we had done
an episode on knots. >> JASON: I was just thinking this morning, "Wow, I forgot how to do all those knots." >> BRIAN: Yep, me too. I am not doing a complicated knot. >> You want to do a little bit more? Let's do more. >> Are you sure? I don't even know that we need more. >> I kind of want to get
something that threads through all of these.
>> BRIAN: Yeah? >> JASON: Yeah. Just kind of like that. >> BRIAN: Okay, all right. ♪ [nostalgic warm keys with upbeat bass] >> I'm being real thorough. >> BRIAN: Whoa, okay, that's a knife. All right. If the instructions
said "lash them together," guess what, they're pretty lashed. And I know someone out
there is going to cry about our cable management. It's going to work just fine,
just like the computer did. [music drops out]
Holy cow, I think this is a computer! >> Did you put the heat shield in there? >> [laughs] The IO shield? >> The IO shield, that's what it was.
>> I like "the heat shield." >> Heat shield, yeah see? I still don't know what it is. >> [laughs] Look at how much longer this one is than the others! We're going to-- >> I may have miscalculated. >> No, it's fine, we'll just have it be a little bit lopsided. That seems like that's
going to hold, right? [nervous laughter]
>> JASON: Eh, that's pretty loose right there. >> BRIAN: That's fine. That seems like it's fine. Give or take. Don't touch it. [laughs] >> Don't touch it. [laughter] >> So you got the beginnings,
where do we go from here? >> Now we're going to need to select a bunch more of these branches/logs and stack them up all around, and so it would help if we
brought this down a little bit, so like widen the base.
>> So that we could reach up top? >> So that we could lean
them in the notches here. >> Okay, we'll pull this back, we'll pull this back. So closer to like that! >> JASON: Yeah! >> This is going to be cozy. >> Yeah!
Eh, and that's big enough for a human being, I found a glove. A bloody glove
>> I dropped a glove. If you want some gloves,
there's some in there. >> Yeah, because when I go off the grid, I intend to have gloves. So if you don't have rope, I'm assuming you could use grass for that? >> Yeah, I've seen a lot of
people use like grass or vines or things like that. That worked well, so I think our crappy rope job should work. >> I mean, yeah, right? >> That's too short. >> Oh, that one's too short? >> Think so. >> And I guess the more of these that are sitting on each other, the more structurally secure it gets? I know that's how it is with, and I know this is probably
not the best analogy, a house of cards. [Jason laughs] But each unit laying on another helps to bolster and secure it. >> Since so many of the tutorials omitted like the length that you need
or the width that you need, I would love for people in the community to post in the comments what the appropriate measurements are. >> This is too short.
It's fine. >> JASON: It's a good size! It's a good size.
>> It's fine. >> This actually feels pretty sturdy. >> Right‽ I'm starting to--
>> He says before he's crushed to death. >> In this case we were fortunate in that there happened to be a bunch
of these logs ready to go. >> Yeah, these have just been
sitting out on the property, waiting for a moment just like this. >> So now we're at the part where a bunch of these shorter guys are valuable to fill in the gaps.
>> Yeah. >> It's nice to find those little notches that it just fits perfectly into. >> I feel like we need
some more around here. >> At the front? >> Yeah, it's really dense right here, and I feel like it needs more here.
>> Yeah. >> So all of that could
pose a problem for us. >> So let's close it in a bit, I'll put some in the back over here too. It is surprising how the curviness
of some of these branches really ruins it.
>> Yeah. >> Way to go, branches. Okay, so if it's raining we're
still in trouble here, right? >> Oh yeah, this is porous,
to say the least. >> So looking from the
inside actually gives you a pretty good view of what
needs to be filled in, so here, Jason, this guy right here.
>> All right. >> This guy right here, this guy right here.
>> Yep. >> And I think everything
else is small enough that we can cover it with brush. Or dare I say... brush wood? [Jason laughs in a way
that is both impressed and disappointed] You see how dark it is inside? >> Yeah. Legitimate shade. >> And it's stable. I mean like really try to
push it, nothing's moving. >> We've got some spots over here that could be a little better. ♪ [prominent chords playing on every cut] Now I can imagine, if you're
doing this from scratch out in the wilderness, you would not have the time or the energy. >> You would not cut all these. >> Yeah. In our case it took 30 minutes, but if you're doing it with
just whatever you've got on you out in the wilderness, it's
going to take you all day to get this far. >> But if you had all day, you would find some natural felled trees, you would find some that
naturally are the right shape, your hands would be hamburger by the time you ripped
off all the branches, although I would imagine a lot of these you would want the branches to stay around,
>> Probably. >> because they would provide cover. So what's the next phase? >> We're going to get some smaller debris, not quite like leaves and stuff like that but we want to get like
thatches of branches, almost like if we could
find like palm fronds, not that we'll find that out here. Like you would fan someone with I think, lots of flat like branches, still with the leaves on
them if you can get them, and you just really want to cover it. >> Normally in the woods, I assume you would spend all day foraging, ripping off fresh branches. It turns out that they just
cleared two acres of trees so we could just grab this. >> Perfect, we can just scavenge. >> So we got dirt, mulch, and branches. I assume we want the branches. >> Yeah, for now we want
to get a bunch of stuff that's flat and providing
a lot of coverage, see that looks great. >> So yeah, so like something like
this would be perfect.
>> Oh that looks really good, yeah. >> What about this, good or bad? >> JASON: That's bad, I'm going
to go bad, I think, unless you wanted to put
it like around the base. >> I don't know. Oh, this a good one. Look at this guy! >> Oh, excellent. >> There's a lot. This is starting to
feel like work, Murphy! [Jason laughs] This stuff is pretty much ideal, right? >> Yeah, this has a lot of small branches and still has some foliage on it. I think this should work
quite well actually. >> All right well we got lots of this. Yeah, I'm with you. I'm anti-stump now. >> JASON: Yeah? >> This stump is garbage. So it seems like the key is, find leaves, grab it, and whatever comes out,
that's what you want to use. >> That is actually the
technique that I've been using. >> How much of this do we need? >> Well, as much as we can, really. ♪ ♪ [whoosh] >> Okay so this is what, phase 2? >> This is phase 2, it gets
a little trickier here. Taking all this and just kind of
layering it on the outside. >> Are we layering it on the outside or are we tucking it in the middle? It feels like this wants
to kind of go in here. >> Yes, also that. Really the goal is just
to cover up all the gaps. >> Yeah, okay, all right we could do this. Look at this, you just tuck it in,
and it just stays there. That seems to work pretty well. >> You don't want to leave
any gaps so that, you know,
creepers, zombies, and C.H.U.D.s can't get in. [Brian lightly chuckles] >> Okay, so like, oh there we go,
there we go, there we go, oh look at that! Got that hooked in, got that hooked in. Dude! Jason, I don't want to jinx it, but I think we're going
to do something good. We don't normally--this is
not normally our bag, I know. We're actually doing something right‽ >> Shhh. So it seems like
there's an awful lot of just placing and hooking stuff in. I'm really astonished at
how almost velcro-like all of the gnarled branches are. >> It's sticking really well, right?
>> Hook right in. How do we know when we're
done with this phase? >> We'll probably have to use
the method like we did earlier of getting inside and
finding the spots where light's shining through.
>> Looking from the inside-out? >> Yeah. >> BRIAN: You wouldn't expect it,
but you can really see what a difference it makes
to have all these these things filling in the gaps. >> JASON: There's a rosemary bush over there, I cut a frond of that off.
>> BRIAN: Oh wow! >> JASON: And then I realized, "Oh, that's rosemary."
>> BRIAN: It's tasty. >> Yeah. [leaves rustling] >> Yeah, here you go, keep them coming. Give me a bunch of these. [saw cutting through plants] [rushed sawing] ♪ [smooth, mellow, and swirling beat] I've got bad news for you. >> What's that? >> I just realized how
this episode has to end. You sitting in there,
while I turn the hose on [Jason laughs loudly]
and make it rain. >> All right, all right.
>> That's the only way, right? [sawing] [tree bends and cracks] >> JASON: Timber. >> BRIAN: You're not messing around. [sawing] >> JASON: That's actually pretty good.
>> BRIAN: Yeah? >> Yeah, we've got little cracks everywhere, it depends on how thorough we want to be, but the more thorough you are
the more comfortable you are. >> BRIAN: Yeah I was about to say, how dry do you want to be overnight? That's awesome! ♪ [prominent chords playing on every cut] All right, so what's the last phase? >> The last phase is small debris
that we're going to pile up from the bottom going up to the top. Like, you know,
big piles of leaves, and such. >> Okay.
I guess we got two choices. We could get all the dried leaves, which would be a real thing
in a survival scenario, but since we have mulch, would we be bad people
for just using that? >> It is cheating and this is
the Modern Rogue, so we cheat. >> Ha!
And so we answered. So in the woods, you're going to look for a giant pile of
chipper shredder waste. >> Yeah, find your nearest
construction site... >> It is cheating but it's
going to look so good! So the starting at bottom, I assume that's to like build up a pile that you eventually cover everything with? But if we're not going to
totally cover this thing, it feels like waiting to the
end to get the stuff on top seems crazy. Like, can I see what happens
if I just throw this on there? >> I don't see why not. >> I mean that's kind of a thing, right? >> Sure. How thorough is that, do you think? >> Well I mean we got to keep going, but eventually it'll
all make its way down, let's just do that. Right? >> Yeah, I like it. >> All right, here. Let's just do a billion more of those. >> Yeah, exactly. >> As high as I can. [gentle rain of woodchips and a light sigh] ♪ [chill, warbling music] [diagetic noise] Whoa!
[Brian laughing] ♪ ♪ How long do you think this
would've taken, like in the wild? [Jason sighs heavily] This would've been a sun
up to sundown affair, huh? >> Oh yeah, unquestionably. Welp, I'm starting to pile
it up around the bottom now. >> Yeah, I think that's-- now I'm understanding the wisdom of the, the "at the base" stuff. >> I mean I think tossing
it up top was a good idea, but we got to make sure.
>> Seems like we got it covered.
>> Yeah. >> It's kind of ominous that we have our first
storm coming right in. >> JASON: Yeah. >> We're already facing the elements. Dude. >> Ready to call it? >> I think so. I mean, okay, so I'm in here right now. Everything is secure. There's a couple of gaps, but I don't know that rain would come in. There's a fair breeze,
we've got a storm coming in, and you don't feel any of it right here. [Jason grunts] >> Yeah, it's pretty great. I think that spot's going
to be a problem right there. >> Which one? >> Directly above me. It's like right up there. Right around in here. Yeah, you covered it. >> Oh, right on. You feeling it? >> JASON: I am. >> BRIAN: I think we made
an effective shelter. >> JASON: And there's our core,
right there, above the knot. >> BRIAN: You ready for the rain? >> JASON: Are we going to test it? [Brian laughs giddily]
>> BRIAN: You seem excited! >> JASON: It's got to happen. >> BRIAN: Oh, we got
to do it though, right? [Jason groans] ♪ [prominent notes playing on every cut] All right Murphy,
it's time for the big test. >> Yeah, I'm going in. >> I will cause the rain from this end, I won't like spray it right in there. >> Okay, you're going to spray
the rain through the door? [Brian laughs loudly] >> The wind is blowing right in,
I don't know, it'll be-- we'll see how wet you get. >> Okay. [footsteps running away on grass and leaves] [grunt of exertion] Smells good. >> Oh no! A storm approaches. A storm that will eventually fill up this hose that's very long. ♪ [soft, rhythmic guitar fades in] There it is, all right. >> I hear thunder. >> BRIAN: It's raining on you... now. [the high-pitched patter of water
compressing at the end of the hose] >> You know, most of it is coming in through the opening here. >> BRIAN: Well here, I'll go--
I'll get farther back to be fair. ♪ ♪ >> Yeah, there are some
drops coming through, but again, most of it's just blowing in through the opening in the door. One thing that I think
we could've done better is put more of the branches
here and narrowing our opening because we've got a spot pretty much directly above
the center of our shelter that's coming down right
in the middle of it. So, if you want to stay dry... Oh, there we go. We've got some leaks. >> BRIAN: We got leaks? >> We've got some leaks, nothing bad, but enough to make it uncomfortable. >> All right, how about now? [alarmed]
>> Oh, you son of a! [Brian laughs teasingly] >> I'm a bad person. [laughs] [echoing]
>> BRIAN: I won't like spray it right in there. I'm so sorry! >> No you're not. [laughter intensifies] >> Dude, we made a good shelter, it's a good shelter!
>> It's not bad. We need more right here
because, if you look, that's pretty much the
center of the thing. >> Oh, you're right,
I didn't think about that. So we essentially have
no cover from the clouds all the way up to this point in there. >> Yeah, so you got to get back
before you get out of the way. There was a lot blowing in through here, so I think making this smaller would help. >> I bet if we put another trunk here, and then just sort of did the same thing and just stopped right around here so you can kind of crawl in. >> Yeah. That would be a pretty good idea. >> But it is, it is so
solid I can't believe it. >> Yeah, and honestly I think
with a few more hulls of mulch, and some leaves and everything, we could seal up the leaks
that were coming through there. They weren't bad.
>> Yeah. >> They were really thin, except for one that came in through the side, >> Oh, man.
>> JASON: which was like one of those freak--
>> Who could see that coming? >> yeah, monsoon season I guess. >> Nobody knows.
>> Yeah. >> Good job. [schemingly]
>> Your turn. [laughing] >> Oh, sorry, the water bill's too high. God dammit! [Brian laughs] >> Is it time, Brian? >> It's--it either is time,
or was just recently time because we're recording this in the past but it's going to show up in the future, there's one thing I want you to think of when you think of Squarespace: Modern Rogue website relaunch. >> Dot com. >> Well, no, I guess it
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** MODIFIED BY BIZARRE MAGIC ** >> BRANDT: Two and a half months later, and the structure still stands. The majesty of life lives within... the shelter. It's holding up pretty well after all this time.
