Cousin falsely accused me of SA. Now my family is contacting me after almost 10 years

cousin f24 falsely accused me M31 of sa now my family is contacting me after almost 10 years I first posted this on relationships and it got Auto removed and I got no answer when I tried to get them to check it manually please note that no one involved is under 18 anymore and the situation did not involve sexual abuse that's the whole point hi I've never had an account on Reddit before but someone on another Forum link this subreddit and I've been reading some stories if this is the wrong subreddit please let me know also English is not my first language so bear with me it's pretty much like the title says I just feel so lost on what to do this is tearing up wounds and old rage is building again let me give some backstory I've grew up in what was probably the most normal of normal households parents worked a lot but still managed to care for me and my three older sisters we were never super close as a family but never had any issues either same goes for my extended family they always lived a few hours away but we saw each other during summer holidays or Christmas and always got along great but when we got older we naturally grew apart as everyone had their own lives I'm 31 now in 2014 when I was 22 in attending uni I got a phone call from my mother that turned my life upside down I remember I didn't even answer at first because I was gaming with friends but she called again immediately after the first call this was an Unwritten rule in the family if you call twice like that it's important like someone died important so when she called again I excused myself and answered only to hear chaos in the other end like people were arguing but when my mom realized I had answered it sounded like she went to another room and closed the door I just asked what was going on and I heard she was crying my memory of this conversation is a bit blurry but she basically asked me if I had something to confess to regarding e e is my cousin on my mom's side and is 7 years younger than me 15 at the time at that point I hadn't even seen e for several years I just said no and asked what this is about she just cried even harder and started accusing me of seually assaulting e back when we were children that e had told everything to my sister and that my sister told my mother and my aunt e had told them that back when she was nine and I 16 she'd been playing in my room when I came in and started feeling her under her clothes and kissing her my mother screamed at me to say something but I couldn't even speak it was all so absurd I remember thinking that must be some bad joke the last thing I remember saying was that it's not true and that e is lying but then my mom goes on saying that how e gave such a detailed description of where and how then she kept asking something like did you do this did you do this and I just scream back at her no each time it all ended with my mom putting me on speaker and both my mom and dad saying that they don't want anything to do with me and never to contact them again two of my sisters texted me later that day pretty much saying that I'm disgusting and then blocked me I know it's weird but after that call I went to have a long shower to this day I still don't know why I did that after calming down I started calling and texting everyone even e no one answered and the ones who hadn't blocked my number by then quickly did so the only thing I heard back was from my father father who texted me to stop contacting them and that they need to heal that was 9 years ago and I haven't spoken to anyone in my family since that day to say this F me up as an understatement I was living in a haze for weeks after that and hardly ate it all it didn't help that this was right before I was supposed to defend my bachelor's thesis and was already stressed out luckily my co-writer sense something was up and saved me by controlling the conversation so that I got the easy Parts without him I sure I would have failed needless to say no one came to my graduation then started the worst period of my my life I spent the first year expecting the cops to knock on my door and arresting me for sexual abuse I didn't land any jobs just living off my saved money I drank a lot and did oxy I also grew resentful and violent the only reason I didn't hurt anyone is because no one was around my neighbor called the cops on me once after I had smashed a glass but I managed to convince the officers that I had just dropped it and they went away since there were no others inside my apartment instead of sleeping I spent my nights planning how I could hurt e and make sure no one ever found out even thinking how I could actually do the things she'd accused me of but much worse I know I'm not proud of that I landed my first real job in my field in late 2015 only then did things start to improve I focused all my time on my job as it gave me something normal to do recovery was a slow process but I drank less sober now for four plus years and smiled more I lived cheap and earned good money so I made a point of buying myself a nice gift for my birthdays a VR headset a motorcycle LEGO Etc and last year I moved from my shitty apartment and bought a small house it was an old dream of mine to have my own garage and a garden to care for this has boosted me even more so my life is okay now I still got problems I've been on anti-depressants for the last few years and while they help it's not in a happy way they simply remove the dark thoughts and replace them with dead ones my trust in other people is close to non-existent I've tried dating but only been on two dates with two different women it's really hard to speak like a normal person when it comes down to it and what would I tell a potential partner when she asked about my family oh you know they accused me of a heinous crime and we're not talking anymore but I didn't do it I swear my field is very male-dominated so the only woman I really speak to is my therapist who I like a lot if this text was difficult to follow I apologize I'm not good with words on the best of days and I started rambling a bit when it all came back to me it's already getting long so I will fast forward to my current issue a few days ago I received a text from my mother it felt unreal and I was scared to open it at first so I just stared at the notification for hours before opening it yesterday another text followed translated they basically say text one hi my name it's been so long since we talked we miss you and want to know how you're doing here she writes a long text about my sisters and how my nices and nephews are getting big I didn't even know I was an uncle greater than know that we love you and always will mom and dad text two hi my name we understand if you don't want to talk to us after what happened but please listen last month the subject of you was brought up at a family gathering during this e was downplaying everything that had happened to her it got so awkward that she finally admitted that nothing happened and that she probably just dreamt it we were all appalled by this when we last spoke we wanted to protect e and did the only thing we thought we could do we know that's not excusing how you were treated what he did was wrong and we're all angry at her we have called everyone that knew and told them the truth we all want to speak with you and your sisters want you to meet their families please write back if you can find it in you to forgive us mom and dad so yeah that's my situation right now I haven't answered but they no doubt know I've seen it truth be told I'm seething so many old shitty memories are now stirring again I don't want to forgive them and I wouldn't trust myself to be in the same room as them right now part of me wants to call my family and unleash everything on them to guilt them with everything I went through until they all hit their Rock Bottom then dedicate my life to make my cousin's life as miserable as possible the other part wants to ignore them and continue with my okayish life with my motorcycle and my garden to keep me company I don't have any friends the only people I speak to are my co-workers but we're not really close I've called my therapist clinic but they told me she's on vacation and won't be available for weeks and I don't want anyone else than her so that leaves internet strangers so please where to go from here do I ignore them and continue as is or do I answer and if so what to even write I'm pretty sure meeting them in person would be a bad idea for a foreseeable future but I'm not even sure how my life can improve from picking up those old threads as embarrassing at it may sound I've dreamed about the day when they apologize to be them throwing themselves to the ground and kissing my feet texting seems so anticlimactic now TL DR my cousin fails Ley accused me of seual assaulting her when we were minors and I was disowned now it has been revealed that it never happened and my family is contacting me and wants to make amends I don't know how to respond edit holy I went to bed yesterday after answering a couple of comments I was happy then when someone just said to wait for Mount therapist to come back something that had flown over my head head now Tes 1,300 comments I can't possibly answer all but I'll try to read all when I get home from work I just want to address something I saw a few people mention that my therapist wouldn't leave for that long without telling me I don't know how this works in other places but this is a state-run clinic no hourly rate or anything I got assigned to her when first going there which means she will continue to get me on meetings that follows but that is not 100% if she's on leave or sick I might get someone else 4 to 6 weeks of vacation is not uncommon edit too some people have messaged me about an update video on Tik Tok please note that this is not by me all I have written you can see on this page hi it's been a while since my last post and I can't count the people asking me for an update so I taught I'd post one even though there's not much to say first I'd like to get a few things out of the way thanks all who wrote and offered support and advice I'm sorry I couldn't reply to all but know that I've read them also thanks to everyone who reached out to distract me with talks about my hobbies I know I wasn't very very responsive but I know you meant well to the openly hostile ones borderline threatening me to quit anti-depressants and counseling and instead accept insert religious figure here into my life no many people told me I should pursue legal action I didn't mention this in my first post but I decided against that long ago for a few reasons best case she would get a slap on the wrist and I wouldn't gain much at all I just don't think it's worth the legal headache and if I somehow would end up losing I'll owe her legal costs a lot of people have been messaging me about the fake updates as I wrote in an edit to my other post there are some fake updates on Tik Tok and YouTube so if you saw something on other platforms that you didn't read in the text below or in the post linked above it wasn't by me while I don't really care about people making fake updates I just want everyone that read my original post that these videos are not by me someone even claimed they had access to my original post on our SL relationships which contained these updates that is false with that cleared up I'll add what actually going on with my life right now know that I wrote the original Post in an anger and because I I was completely lost on what to do I needed a kick to the head and I got that within like the first 5 to 10 comments that was really all I needed I've met my therapist I was first scheduled for September but she managed to move it and we've had two talks so far she also read the original post and many of your comments while she would have preferred me to confide in a colleague of hers in the end she was glad you guys told me to calm down a bit and wait she knows firsthand how I can get one angry I W go through everything we talked about but it comes down to that I may respond to my parents at some point but if I do it won't be anytime soon I've started writing everything down that I once said to my family and then my therapist and I will go through those things continuously for those who asked they haven't tried to contact me further I will not be updating this issue anymore not on Reddit including DMS or anywhere else in case of more fake updates nor will I be commenting unless it's something very important I don't want to be rude and I pricey at all the support but it really is draining sometimes I was almost glad when the moderators locked the comments on the first post I'd like to end by saying thanks again to all the people who's been wishing me well and checking up on me and for the people writing to check that I'm still alive don't worry you don't have to do that I'm off work for a while and not by the computer much I'm busy painting my garage

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Id: s0YzXJTAoMY

Length: 11min 13sec (673 seconds)

Published: Thu Jan 18 2024