Courtship | Bishop Fulton J.Sheen

as we announced last week our subject tonight is courtship courtship is something like the music in the theater before the curtain goes up and one of course should not uh be too particular in courting we're not going to emphasize that tonight but i actually heard of one man who said he wouldn't marry and until he found a girl who was an orphan and had her appendix out [Music] there are actually four distinct stages which we will enumerate in the meeting of boys and girls the last stage of all is courtship the first of these stages is what might be called a togetherness of boys and girls and the second stage is separation the third stage i give this rather peculiar name is to confuse you and make you think that i'm very learned about this problem is crystallization and fourth is courtship you know i actually didn't spell that thing out because i don't remember what there's one or two else's [Music] two wells aren't there crystallization i want to leave it that way much better i should have looked for a synonym well the first stage of boys and girls is that of togetherness in which they play together and are quite young and they enjoy one another with a naturalness which is devoid of any of the troubles that come later on from sex differences we need not emphasize this particular stage here there's the same naturalness there that there is in the two children of the seashore who are the victims of divorced parents and one said to the other how do you like your daddy the other said fine the person said so did we we had him last year [Music] and the next is the separation now we reach a moment in the lives of boys and girls where the the boys separate from the girls [Music] i bet i get another art scholarship for that one [Music] now in this in this stage of separation are boys and girls the uh the boys do not want to be seen with the girls and the girls do not want to be seen with the boys as a matter of fact the greatest punishment that can be given a boy at this particular age is to be made to sit with girls girls are all sissies and then a girl of course in her turn hates to be put with a boy it's a very interesting stage of life and a very good one because it is one that might be called polarization in which they break off into opposite poles they might be called actually the positive and negative charges of electricity you would never have sparks of love later on unless there was polarization at this moment and this separation or polarization allows each of them to develop their physical and psychical differences for example the boy when he's with other boys becomes aggressive develops heroism certain talents aptitudes has his own ideals and as the potentials of manhood within him the girl on the contrary she's with other girls she develops a feministy the right kind delicacy refinement she begins to learn and understand that she has a rhythm that beats with the rhythm of the cosmos there is given to her some great and tremendous mysterious creative possibilities this stage of of separation is really so ideal that at this point of life it is very well to have boys and girls educated separately otherwise if you've got a mingling a too precocious mingling of boys and girls the boys are apt to become sissies and they're feminine and they grow up not to be men but mannequins and the women in their turn the girls in their turn if they're too much mixed up with boys at this early age they become voyage impudent rough wear overalls not there's anything wrong in wearing overalls but it just simply is a is an evidence of how they tend to a certain kind of mani stress no boy normal boy loves the girl who is just a little too many no man never loves a woman who has lost her femininity so this stage is early in life but it's one that's ordained by god then you come to the third and very interesting stage and we call crystallization the reason we call it that is this if you put a piece of wood in the salzburg salt mines after a while that piece of wood will be covered with crystals which very much resemble jewels they are not jewels actually they are just crystals but they take on a seeming richness which is not their own and so it is with boys and girls after they get into their teens a little ways they're dealing with one another and one another is very ordinary but they endow one another with great and tremendous qualities they really are crystals and they think they're diamonds and jewels and at this age of crystallization there begins a divination in which the boy is called a kind of a god the girl is always an angel and girls will say a voice at this age he is positively divine then the words worship adore eternity are always coming into play my little angel told me before i came out when i was i told him about the girls were called angels at this age he said it'd be well to inquire if an angel can cook particularly angel cake well at this stage of divinization there is something right there something wrong and here very often is where parents and educators fail to understand the psychology of youth simply because they do demonize one another and they turn crystals into jewels there's something right and good about this they would not have had this instinct for turning girls into angels and men into some kind of divinity if there was not already awakening within their soul a love of the infinity itself they have not only bodies they have souls and instinctively these young people know that they were made for infinite happiness god intended them to have it there ought to be an ecstasy there ought to be an unending thrill they ought to be with the divine they ought to be with the angels certainly and parents and educators should not make fun of young people who crystallize and demonize one another why is it that there's so much religion and the words of religion are so much bound up with love at this stage is because love and religion always go together just like hate and communism go together so do love and religion their mistake however is to place the infinite in the finite and to think that the infinite happiness and love and ecstasy and thrill that they want thrill that is unending is to be found in something that is purely corporal and physical that's their mistake but their craving is right a certain amount of sympathy toward the young at this stage can lead them on to a right appreciation of what is good and what they're really seeking this is the age of course when boys begin to wash behind their ears discover neckties they're very careful now the clothes that they wear they did not mind a patch in the trousers now they do they begin to have pinup girls in their rooms i heard of two sailors soldiers in korea they had beds next to one another one of them had a lot of pinup girls above his bed and he was studying the other soldiers said to him remember they're 85 percent water and then the girls at this stage discover lipstick high heels and perfume i know uh of one girl who was being crystallized at this particular age of life who felt who believed the perfume advertisements remember the cartoon that appeared years ago someone went into a perfume conference that happened to anything for beginners [Music] well this girl went in and she wanted some perfume because she was an angel and the clerk said well here we have a perfume 35 it's called perhaps she said for that price it ought to be called shore this is also the stage when boys and girls are absolutely convinced that their parents know nothing at all about love [Music] their parents are old-fashioned they're behind the times they're outmoded we're living in the 20th century there were victorian there back in the 19th century why do they develop this critical attitude to their parents because there's something new planets have been spinning for centuries and centuries until finally love has come to them this is an absolutely unique experience the parents never pass through it they know nothing about it that's why they're ignorant that's why their parents would never be consulted it's an unfortunate stage from that point of view and it's not love it's just the sap in the springtime [Music] there's no courtship here despite the fact that they go through agonies there's a tremendous anxiety they suffered torture the girl doesn't appear at the drugstore at the right time if he doesn't call at the appointed hour if she has a headache and can't meet him if she's seen stopping this scene stopping and speaking to someone else at the street corner life isn't worth living this is rightly because been called puppy love and a little warning if boys and girls marry during puppy love the chances are they'll eat a dog's life later on now we come to courtship and courtship we cannot give stand all standards and tests but we will give just a few two will refer to young men and young women together one will refer to a young woman alone and the other a test for a young man first together is the problem of affinity and secondly for boys sacrifice for girls femininity and fourth the ability to pray together a first affinity is there an affinity between a young couple who are beginning to fall in love with one another i hear i'm not speaking a physical affinity that is that has been treated elsewhere and in a very copious fashion it is well to remember that beauty in a man in a woman and strengthen a man do not long endure they are given to young people only to serve as purposes of allurement and they passed away later on in life yes he's a strong man when he makes an end run on the saturday football team but ask him later on to take down the screams [Music] we must have hit someone with that one [Music] so there must be some other affinity besides the physical namely an interest one in the other they need not be intellectual they need not be college graduates but they must have one mind and one heart if for example the husband is a salesman he comes home at night and says listen dear wonderful wonderful thing happened i sold 1000 refrigerators today and she says how do you want your eggs [Music] oh that's one of affinity a musician for example should never marry a woman who's tone deaf [Music] but above and beyond all that life married life is very much like a game of tennis there's a give and take and there should be an abundance of that and the real test as they come closer to one another is to ask if they can share not only the joys of life but also the frustrations a symphony is made up of a treble and bass there are indeed melodious notes but there are also counter points and there are seemingly opposing and conflicting themes and yet all of them in some beautiful fashion are molded together into harmony so too if there's true affinity the crosses and trials of life will be understood by both as well as the joys that is the first condition a test for the young man is he an egotist is he selfish or does he know how to make sacrifices in his regard sacrifices remember sacrifices are born of love that's the reason he gives a ring of gold instead of tin because it costs something if he's egotistic before marriage he'll be egotistic afterwards more so if you send you 100 flowers before marriage you'll get 10 afterwards if he has four roses before marriage you'll have 40 roses afterwards [Music] if the young man is the spirit of sacrifice he will have reverence for the woman reverence for the mystery of femininity knowing that she has not a bargain counter where a motley crowd can purchase find indeed a young man who can treasure for days and for weeks and for years the gift of a rose or the touch of a hand of a friend now a little test for for the young women on the part of the men i see femininity what does that mean every woman was made to be a mother either physically or spiritually physically but the generation of physical life and spiritually by the generation of spiritual life and by tending the ills of others and by serving divine and holy causes and if she is a true woman she will be looking forward to preserving strength and beauty his strength and her beauty will fade will she be able to give him the assurance and has she an interest for example in prolonging his strength into the boys of the family and prolonging her beauty into the daughters has she depth so that there will be his life goes on a progressive revelation of mysteries not just the mystery of the flesh but the mystery of her mind the mystery of her heart the mystery of her soul as she brings forth the incarnation of their mutual love and as she reveals the ability to train minds and hearts and souls she reveals the mystery of motherhood something he never saw in her before and above all as she reveals the greatest of all the arts the art to be a mother if she is the right kind of a woman then the man will say to wear his dante say to beatrice i look on beatrice and beatrice looks on god leon blua said the more a woman is holy the more she's a woman and finally can they pray together they can pray together then there will be fidelity and they will have the same conscience and whether the same conscience there's charm and charm never ages now they begin to understand why they wanted the infinite and the angels and the divine in that younger period of crystallization now they begin to see that religion and love are really combined why is it for example they speak of our love our love as if it were something outside of both as if it were more than the addition of the love of the thou and the eye why do they speak of this curious thing our love if it be not a reflection of the divine love of the triune god where there is the lover the beloved and love why is it that they see in the springtime in the birds in the autumn in the waterfalls and the moon and the stars tell tales of love everything seems to speak to them if it be not because only lovers understand that god to create or made everything in this world out of love why is it that they want to exchange secrets one with another and burden their hearts if it be not because they are reflections of another revelation of god himself who would not keep the secret of his love and told it in the old testament why is it they want to be two in one flesh if it is not in order to prolong through history the great mystery of the divine and human natures of christ why is it that the lover is always on his knee and the beloved is always on a pedestal if it is not because there's humidity in a sense of unworthiness and in preparation for communion one with another they say lord i am not worthy dominion on some dignity all their love is then the reflection of god and they understand that if human ecstasy can give them so much joy then what will be the great heart of god if the spark of human love is so bright oh what must be the flame

Channel: The Catholic World

Views: 149,641

Keywords: english catholic songs, catholic songs, malayalam catholic songs, christian songs, malayalam christian songs, devotional songs, religious songs, malayalam religious songs, tamil catholic songs, kerala devotional songs, thecatholicworld, the catholic world, malayalam songs.jesus songs, Bishop Fulton J.Sheen, Bishop Fulton Sheen

Id: X3QTbVxO6kA

Length: 23min 55sec (1435 seconds)

Published: Tue Jun 24 2014