Corner Gas, Oh Baby s 1, e 4

foreign [Music] what are you doing why do you gotta go cluttering up the counter with all this junk they're called impulse items dad people don't have impulses I'm having one right now how stupid do you think people are here's 20 bucks for gas and oh what's this licorice I know I shouldn't but I can't resist well you had impulse items when you ran the place [Music] sure you can drink a kid kids are stupid well your days of outwitting seven-year-olds are over thankfully now it's illegal for kids to smoke what since when is it illegal for kids to smoke what am I a lawyer [Music] three days [Music] [Music] [Applause] is nougat even a real thing or did they just make that up chocolate is the last thing I want to talk about my tooth is killing me what still I thought you were getting that thing yanked it'll be fine only hurts if I ah when I ah when you pronounce vowels that could be problematic when's the last time you saw a dentist yeah it's been a couple years a couple of years yeah three or four you haven't 92 okay it was 1992 are you happy now well you should try and squeeze in a visit every decade or so four to five dentists recommend seeing a dentist I'm not sure what the fifth guy's thinking Alaska traumatized me was some kind of say to Sicko come on he wore a leather lab coat so go see someone else nougat nuget how old are you [Music] Dr hurts Dr Payne Dr yankam not very encouraging you're making those names up wow Dr Payne I think you fought Spider-Man this one Dr McGee that's the psycho I went to last time McGee that doesn't sound bad his first name Lance oh here go to this guy Dr Samuel Fenwood Sam Fenwood that sounds solid huh type of guy would help you build your house hey Sammy toss me up that hammer you got it Brent nice talk Sammy you want to get a beer after this sure get a beer and watch the game I like the way you think Sammy you in love with this guy is there a picture of him if I went I'd have to get a babysitter for Tanner well that shouldn't be too difficult I mean he's a bit of a bratty kid what do you mean bratty you know like uh like a brat kind of Hell Spanish do you want to do it ding ding oh someone's at the pumps ah one chili cheese dog bless you for putting hot dogs back on the menu you like it love it ha that's a tofu dog with veggie chili no it isn't it's a maple leaf Top Dog all beef I compliment your choice they're on sale hey Wanda you want some lunch I want someone to kick me in the jaw so hard to have a regular conversation in this town I need to find a babysitter I gotta go to a dentist in Saskatoon I bet one of the local gals could help out guys something really attractive about a man who likes kids well listen if you're in a bind Wanda I could babysit but you said you were very very busy yes but uh I could help out with little Tanner Tanner's a great kid I love Tanner his name's Tanner right yeah all right then thanks Brent I'll go call the dentist unless one of you wants to kick me in the jaw no seriously right here no fine that was really nice to you well I'm a Problem Solver hey you want to come over later help me babysit no way I hate kids [Music] Paul I want to change my bet put my 20 on Ireland you can't change your bets just put my 20 on Ireland forget it you made your bet fine then I lose my 20 and I can't pay my tab so unless you want to be giving me free beers put my 20 on Ireland what are you guys watching soccer you want in on the action I got a good feeling about Brazil no I don't know anything about soccer it's a complex sport it took me quite some time before I fully understood the subtleties of the game hey what's he doing you can't pick up the ball and run with it like that you this is rugby huh give me 10 on Ireland hi Lacey what can I get you I feel like a glass of wine what's your house red not sure hey what's it saying that bag of wine over there oh that's ketchup the one beside it you know what Beer's good so what's going on here you guys betting to see who throws up first there's a lot of money riding on this game you want in no no thanks let me know what fans I just find gambling to be a waste of time [Music] translation she doesn't understand it well it's confusing okay for example if I was going to bet on this game what's under John The Vig huh what's the over under on the outside line enough yakin I'm trying to watch the soccer all right that was pretty impressive you know a lot about gambling I made up all those words I think I heard vague on this paranos oh hey Brent the the writers game's on TV tomorrow you coming over no can do I gotta babysit for Wanda Tanner yeah Wanda's kid it's Brent's shoes 50 bucks says Brent starts crying at some point two to one he cries before ten o'clock I'll take that action when you ever babysit Wanda's kid oh yeah once kid's a nightmare how'd she rope you into it Wanda's a friend she needed help there was no roping it will be attacked Tanner no no put the deal down put the tail down uh Hank oh man you got your hands full with that kid he's six what did he overpower you I'm not the only one a lot of folks in this town been thrown into the pit with Tanner you see Phil over there yeah he babysat for Wanda so watch three two one wow ever since that night he hasn't been able to go 10 seconds without looking behind him three two one okay that's a little freaky hey Alice I was wondering if you pardon this is a library we're the only ones here I'm right I was just wondering if you had any books on child psychology I'm one child psychology chives on top of me that's right Alice I want a book about chives on top of you this is the only book we have on child psychology it was written in 1969. by Dr spearmint fur I'm not familiar with his work you know you're sweeping gravel huh nobody else is going to do it I wonder why that is what's next on your to-do list vacuum the trees give these bugs a good polish and wash those rocks you're smart groovy parents what's that a hippie book kind of I guess it's about child psychology it's about crap I could teach you everything you need to know but could you not oh okay the kid just keeping them off balance mentally they screw with you you screw with them kid pulls a prank you pull two pranks kid gets Lippy smash one of his toys got to keep them on their heels you know mentally on their heels yes I am familiar with your work look dad I got a new gun oh yeah could have sworn I repressed that memory so you're okay looking after the place while I watch Wanda's kid I ran the place for 35 years I think I can handle it for one night without burning It to the Ground in those 35 years there were seven fires none of those were my fault oh no bro Tanner your babysitter's here he should be right down the yank the tooth at 7am tomorrow so I should be done by mid-afternoon oh here's some phone numbers how come you're police and ambulance listed first there he is hey Tanner how you doing you're getting to be pretty big boy well isn't that nice say Tanner do you have a favorite toy when you can't live without you can't just say emergency vehicle you have to specify he calls ambulance he calls Fire Department who called the cops I don't want to be a hard case but gambling is technically illegal you know it's not gambling it's probability analysis probability of what Brent is babysitting Tanner Wanda's kid okay 10 bucks has a fat lip I say stitches 50 bucks on broken bones come on you guys burn to the face some sort of permanent Mark with the loss of a tooth count as a permanent mark you guys think Brent's gonna be okay though right right Tanner I brought some popcorn you like popcorn I brought some movies over come show me what movie you want to watch Tanner kind of creeping me out here here's 20 bucks for the gas oh what's that licorice oh I know I shouldn't oh but I can't resist are you being smart with me what my son sent you didn't he all right you've had your laugh and a get out of here smart guy but I said get out foreign ER you're still here right this is just some kind of hide and seek thing I mean you can keep hiding and I'll keep looking but at least let me know you're here ow these are metal you know and sharp there I'm giving odds on Brent getting two black eyes and a broken nose broken nose Karen go ahead I want 10 bucks on sprained ankle uh no broken ankle and 20 bucks if they let me have General ankle injury okay do we have General ankle injury I don't know oh we have permanent limp what about concussion anybody put money down on concussion no no no no no no no no relax we got more Mayo this is crazy we should be ashamed of ourselves our good friend is in grave danger and we're sitting here trying to profit off his misery well I'm not playing your sick game anymore Britney's my help does anybody have a coat hanger lock the keys in my truck [Music] the kid off balance mentally huh all right I can do that kid wants to play I can play 17 21. [Music] what the hell are you doing taking a penny right under my nose plain as day you got nerve I'll give you his ass says need a penny take a penny you are communist get out of here I don't need your Pinko finish [Music] [Music] oh no wait you're not scared I'm Jason Friday the 13th all right I'm Freddy Krueger Nightmare on Elm Street yes a six-year-olds don't watch a lot of Slash or flicks hey you put those magazines down this isn't a library damn kids got nothing better to do get out of here no no Mike Myers is Austin Powers Michael Myers is a killer from Halloween oh hi Lacey what brings you over I felt bad for bailing on you earlier when you asked for my help I decided to come by and see how things were going it's going okay I guess come on in are you sure everything's okay has been a bit of a challenge sure but generally okay getting a little tired of the toy cars to the Head any suggestions well I don't know I'm no good with kids do you ask him not to whip cars at your head yep so he threw a trek kid's clever jeez attack not my fault Dr Spearman makes a good point here Dr fur actually experiments has given name but all right let's try it Tanner dig this we have to set up some flexible boundaries man like we'll respect your need for individuality and freedom but within an elastic Embrace of love we should sit down and rap about your headspace I'll come out where we can see you you little puke your cute little puke foreign [Music] why do they make cars out of metal they should know there's a certain percentage of children that are evil I don't know Brian I think he might be in over your head with this kid have you called Emma I'm not gonna phone my mom I should be able to handle this I'm a grown man he's six you're a grown man he's six fine I'll be right there it will hold up in here till the Cavalry comes Mustang GT no it was a cobra that was a Mustang Jesus want to spend on these things [Music] go you go this is your mission I'm only here to help it would help if you go get the door fine hurry you missed what are you I'm getting tired unbelievable can't control one small child have you got any Mars that need swatting while I'm here and Lacey's with you hi Emma we're camping two adults and the kids got you shivering on the floor like a couple of wet puppies well this is no ordinary kid ma this kid is dangerous so am I told you she was good trying to steal your own truck not exactly Lex Luthor are you put my keys in the truck Brent's in trouble ankle I don't know but I help them me listen up first thing you gotta know your passenger windows open hope that helps thanks Davis foreign [Music] what time is it 9 28 perfect watch and learn Tanner Vincent Dollard in two minutes It'll be 9 30. if you are not in bed by 9 30 I will be coming upstairs and I won't be coming empty-handed [Music] foreign was that so hard how did you do that two key elements use their whole name they hardly ever hear all three of their names so it kind of puts them off balance mentally exactly second give them an open-ended thread nothing specific that way their fertile little imaginations fill in the Gap with the worst thing they can think of whoa I just gotta chill look out smash bam brand Herbert Leroy you get your tail in better you want don't like what happens next the kids room a child's imagination is there strength and their weakness you're like Yoda I don't know what that means hey thanks again for coming over no problem I just wish I could have been more help Brent Brett are you okay I'm fine Hank he's a six-year-old kid and where is he and he could be watching us right now ah relax he's upstairs asleep really that's impressive no he called his mommy I thought she might be lonely with Dad running the store and Brent called Emma that was your bet wasn't it yep 50 bucks on prank calls Emma three to one odds that's 150 bucks you know what I take a car to the Head any day for that Lacey Esther Burrows that's not my middle name Charlene Gertie sunshine fern [Music] [Applause] [Music] I don't know the same things you don't know [Music] I don't know I just don't know [Music] it's a great big place it's my happy place [Music] we're on the interweb at cornergas.com [Applause] don't know

Channel: Al's Room

Views: 8,481

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Id: QWjqrwsphf8

Length: 22min 8sec (1328 seconds)

Published: Mon Feb 20 2023