Conan Becomes A Department Store Santa - "Late Night With Conan O'Brien"

it's christmas time and have you noticed it there are a lot of santas around if you walk around manhattan you can see a ton of santa you know people dressed up as santa claus because that's a that's a popular gig this time of year i'm going to call it a gig because i'm a hep cat and uh don't laugh at that that's more sad than funny and uh a lot of people dressed up as santa and i've been looking at these people and i've been thinking like that's a that's a pretty good job like how do you get to be a santa is there a school to be santa that's what i and then i found out there is there are people that teach you how to be santa there's actually a woman who runs santa university i'm not making this up there's a woman who runs santa university her name is jenny zink so we found this woman and we decided let's have her come to my office and show me the ropes teach me to be a santa it was thrilling take a look i'm sitting here in my office with jenny zink jenny you're a santa trainer is that right that's correct yeah you train people to become santa claus yes i do first of all we talk about what you're going to say and what you're not going to say yeah but ho ho ho has been done do you mind if i develop a different laugh for santa go ahead [Laughter] that's that's a little oxford isn't it yeah well just be a little more natural naturally i laugh like this santa dews help me out with these okay bathe daily and use a good deodorant is for personal hygiene and use the term what is this what folks well you know how many kids today might not be with their natural parents so if you refer to mummy or daddy or mom or dad that might be sad for some children i would just say how are your parents lesbian or gay alive or dead possibly in prison how are they that covers everything these are the santa don'ts i want to tell you right now we're going to have a problem no smoking flirting or drinking now what's wrong with flirting i mean santa's a man of the world but he's married mrs claus is up at the north pole waiting yeah but she's at the north pole oh yeah but she's something that was a marriage that was working don't you think they spend more time together that's a very good point this is a strange never promise anything i think it'd be funny to promise the kids like you're getting a macintosh computer christmas morning santa promises and then the kid comes downstairs there's a toaster there he flips out where am i i'm at home smoking flirting and drinking [Applause] so you're going to wear the white t-shirt or are you going to wear them is it possible and be honest with me is it possible that i'm too muscular to be sad feel this right here okay it's not hard because it hurts oh okay this hair oh but that's some pretty good oh that yeah very muscular what are you doing i didn't tell you you could touch that first time what are you doing that's completely gratuitous the center of your buckle goes into the center of the fur that's the good appearance well it was just this appearance thing you know what if it was like that would that bother you yes what if we saw a santa like this deal with it dude that would be not good let's put that right there okay now what about do we put that on is it okay to jazz up the santa suit a little bit this is feeling a little dull a little too traditional look at this epaulettes okay give some kind of a military authority right now just check it out maybe give him a couple of medals just check this out like this shows you that santa's been places and he's kicked some ass this is a santa who gets things done this is a santa on the run this is a santa who's packing a gun this is a santa who likes it gentlemen nice to see you who would like what for i'm not happy christmas that at all that doesn't look good this is a santa that enjoys a good wine uh santa who travels extensively this is a santa whose first marriage failed but he has another companion now pretend you're a little girl and say i want a doll for christmas i want a doll for christmas santa [Applause] hmm this is still santa except i don't have a castle on the north pole you know what i have a loft that's a really cool loft you gotta like this let's try this out on some real folks over at saks avenue see the way i used folks good that was good this is joe bottolato he's one of the uh operations managers here at saks fifth avenue joe good to see you nice to meet you kids will ask you usually what happens when you're not sitting in your chair where have you been so we tried to tell them that you just went out to feed the reindeer okay it's hard to keep track of all these lies but something feels wrong about lying so much uh i'm santa claus i have reindeer uh you said be very vague about everything don't give straight answers deceive the kids i think is one of your rules i have problems with depression i get very depressed is that a is it okay if i'm kind of low-key or well i think when a couple of kids sit on your lap they'll get you excited [Music] okay don't be nervous right i have problems with depression you know you don't you talking around how are you up here oh wow what would you like for christmas little boy i'd say um some of the owls that are actually um for the uh class of it's like a teacher rock class of 2000 2002 2001 2002. santa's confused what kind of toy is that oh a beanie baby one of the owls well i can't promise anything how are your folks i haven't been drinking you want to hear my santa laughs think you can do better the best i can do oh i mean i have no interest in you sexually [Laughter] how are you how are your folks your folks doing okay my folks as in my parents yes and her folks have passed on so far so you're saying if the person looks like they're in their 50s or 60s don't ask how their folks are doing probably okay now you tell me that's great that's great thank you that's terrific do you want a hug oh i wish i had emotions the hell christmas came early for santa what's your name leslie very nice to meet you and you're santa i'm santa ask her if she's like quiet she's very very attractive young woman yes now you see hey look i taste something maybe santa but i'm not dead okay now put your legs down yeah you have to look like no put the other leg down we need to make you look more my pants are falling off is that a problem yes it will be a problem or maybe by golly if you're lucky he knows you'd like a brand new bike or an electric guitar [Music] do you have heineken two heineken please when it comes on christmas eve if you haven't been naughty and you still believe we will take a break we'll be right back with vice president al gore

Channel: Team Coco

Views: 765,527

Rating: 4.9551311 out of 5

Keywords: Late Night With, Conan, O'Brien, NBC, HD, HQ, Santa Claus, Christmas, Holiday, Macy's, Official, Best Of, Conan Classic, Cheer, Joy

Id: 2ksk7YtiidA

Length: 9min 19sec (559 seconds)

Published: Wed Dec 18 2019

Reddit Comments

[u/WolfsLairAbyss]

I miss old Conan. Dudez A Plenti, his Ireland trip, when he used to hang out at the bus station. All that old stuff was hilarious.

[u/abrakadaver]

“I may be Santa, but I’m not dead!”