Complete Masterclass on Communication: From Noob to Pro in 50 Days!

in the past 3 years I have given multiple talks and business trainings across India for both organizations and institutions an you are awesome throughout these experiences I met many other great speakers and took lessons on how to speak more confidently and effectively in this video I will be sharing six practical lessons that I have learned from my gurus and mentors that help me speak more confidently in front of a big audience along with resources and a road map that you can use to improve your speaking skills in just 50 days so without wasting any further time let's get started now before we go ahead in this video there are three things that you need to keep a note of number one in my own experience I have realized that a lot of people focus too much on the pitch without realizing that their offer itself is not good enough what do I mean by that if you as a person are extremely valuable and really good at what you're doing and if people need something from you even if you are not speaking very confidently even if you're a very awkward person they will still tolerate and listen to you so the thing is all of these skills whether it's Charisma or confidence or personality all of these things are you working on the pitch whereas in reality if your underlying offer is not good enough the pitch won't sustain that is why for a very long time I have been making videos that teach you hardcore skills but after you've learned those hardcore skills these are the small things that you can use so make sure that you're not just focusing on the pitch but also making your offer really really valuable number two whatever I say is not the truth the thing is I have lived my life in a specific way I live in a separate part of the world and whatever I teach or give you here will not be applicable to every single scenario so please make sure that whatever advice you pick is compatible with your specific Situation Number Three this entire topic of being able to speak more effectively and more confidently is a huge topic now this is a one single video so what I'm going to do is I'm going to pick strategies that I have learned from my experience and I have genuinely felt useful but in reality if you want to dig deep there are many many resources that I will share at the end of the video you should 100% check them out if you want to go deep into speaking more effectively to be honest the video is around 30 minutes long but I'm pretty sure you need at least four to 6 months of practice to make these lessons beneficial to you in your day-to-day life now folks when it comes to being confident there are three categories of conversations right on number one you have text level conversation which is you may be sending a message on WhatsApp or email and these conversations are asynchronous which basically means that in these categories your grammar and your ability to reply properly and to reply in shorter and crisper words is really really important I personally feel that in today's age when so much of stuff is happening on social media and through remote work it is not just about being confident in person but it is also about knowing how to communicate on text as well well now in this video we're not going to cover text based communication but I'm just letting you know that what are the levels of conversations that you will need to master one by one so level one is pure text based communication which is of course asynchronous or real-time chatting level two is on call which is basically verbal communication where a lot of things matter on how you speak your tonality your vocabulary your accent your flow but because that person can't see you you can still have a basic body language and not focus on how you look and not focus on eye contact you can also follow a script so this is slightly tougher than having conversations on text but way way easier than iners conversation level three is what we will cover today which is the most challenging and tricky category of conversations which are in-person conversations where it's not just about what you're saying it is also about how you look into somebody's eyes it is also about how your standing your tonality and a lot of things play a big big role when you have in-person conversations so in this video I'm going to be covering a lot of tips that will help you improve conversations in the level three category now in each of these three categories you can have three categories of conversations and I know that I'm breaking these down into modules simply because in your brain you need to have a flowchart of thought right so I hope that you're writing this down on a place like notion or in your notebooks because once you really really understand the categories of conversations and the categories of replies that you have to put I'm telling you it becomes way way easy to learn so when you're having a conversation with whether it's on text or an in person there are three types number one is going to be a generic conversation you enter a party you see somebody that you already know or you get introduced to somebody new so these are generic conversations without any agenda category two is of having a pitch where you might have to influence somebody or you might have to sell somebody this also comes under the category of interviews or even persuasion where as a Salesman you might have to sell a service or also influence them to hire you or maybe even ask someone one out category three is of an argument where you have to convince somebody about proving your point of view or maybe you have some sort of debate or you know things get very complicated and you have to have a difficult conversation where there's a risk of offending someone now this systematic grouping is very very important because the strategies you need for General conversation are very very different from the strategies you need for either a pitch or an argument so we will have multiple videos on each of these types separately today we will cover just one aspect of generic conversation and then we'll break down all of these six strategies that can help you become a better conversationalist or even a better public speaker because these are generic tips that are usually applicable to every single scenario once you cover these Basics then our future videos can dig deeper into how do you have a better pitch or how do you have a better argument so I have collected six techniques we'll go through all of them one by one the first two techniques are majorly about having the right mindset and doing a lot of prep work before before you even enter the conversation so let's cover Point number one fixing most common fears that a lot of students and young professionals have when they enter a social situation because these common fears are the most common causes of resistance and because of this resistance you fail to communicate what is in your thoughts so you might have a really smart thought but because there's a lot of resistance you end up saying something which is completely lame or opposite in my personal life I had three fears that gave me the maximum resistance number one as a young teenager I was very very insecure about my appearance so I was a tickle nerd who was a very shy and introverted person because I'm a single child without any siblings so I didn't have much training when it comes to social situations so when I went to school I had a very terrible diet never went to the gym so I was very skinny very frail never took care of my skin had really really bad diet so I used to get a lot of acne a lot of dandr and I was very very weak in general and because of so many things happening in my own personal life when I went to school I was just stressed out in general and that made me very very insecure so when I used to meet a group of people who looked better who were fitter who had better clothes or who just looked more impressive and appealing I personally felt that even if I say something smart they will just make fun of me or I will not be able to impress them now if you're insecure about your appearance the entire process takes a lot of time so I actually started focusing on these things once I was out of college and now that I look back I'm very very happy about because to be honest because I was a very shy and introverted kid I was really really away from the cool kids and that gave me a lot of time to work on myself so I spent majority of my school life and college life just learning and upskilling and after college life when I started making my own money and when I I you know started getting better salary I started investing small small components of my earnings into my skin my hair my clothes so I started focusing more on my exercise and gym and nutrition and when I started to look better better when I saw myself in the mirror and when I looked better I started feeling less insecure because you know it could be different from different kinds of people but in the kind of world that I was in looks really mattered a lot your personality mattered a lot like First Impressions really mattered a lot now of course this changes from place to place when I used to go to hackathons at that point appearances don't matter a lot it only comes down to how good you are right at that place if you were too outspoken or if you looked very very pretty they looked down at you right because for them you're just like a pretty boy so there your performance really matters your delivery really matters but now that I look back I've realized that more than other people judging me I myself had a lot of insecurities about how I looked and I personally feel that if you are insecure about how you look you will always have issues you'll always have resistance when you speak in public my second fear was just uh you know being considered as a stupid guy like I didn't want to end up saying something which was wrong or incorrect and for a very very long time I was a young student right so obviously you can't expect a young student to know a lot and I wasn't really good at pretending so I spent a lot of my young life just listening like literally just noticing and listening and reading because it was only after two two two and a half or three years of experience after my job that I started learning my craft well and what happens is that when you become really good at what you're doing that gives you a lot of confidence so if you're in a conversation and if you know what you're talking about you will just naturally have that flow so what happens is that if you don't know what you're talking about or if you you you really really know that you're not good at what you're doing you will try to pretend and when you try to pretend that you know what you're talking about other people Sense on it and then sort of they pick on you so I would recommend that if you fear looking stupid there's a high chance that you don't know your art well enough so give yourself time there's no like accelerator to this give yourself time and become really good at what you do and my last cause of resistance was that I never practiced speaking in general I never practiced pitching in general and I realized this in second year of my college so I realized that because I had spent so much time in my own house you know as a single child I never spoke to too many people I never went to like in my park to play sports and all of those things because you know I was just too much into my studies so I spent a lot of time with books so I knew how to think clearly but I didn't know how to speak clearly and my English was also very very weak because I belong to a traditional North Indian Delhi household so there you know everybody talks in like my parents don't say anything generally in English to me for me I was like comfortable then you know I should probably just start Hindi but as I started living my life I realized that English stronga is very very important like there's something about it throughout my college life I realized that if I know English well then I will always be more accessible to a larger group of people so if you feel that you don't have enough practice the easiest fix is to either practice in in front of a mirror or join something like an mu or a debating Society or door to-door pitching that is something that I used to do so I used to volunteer for college clubs and then help them sell event tickets so I used to go to different rooms and Pitch right and I used to do it every single day for I think one and a half years of my life I've done so much of door to-do I've done so much of pitching that first of all it helped me improve my tongue muscles so now I can speak really long sentences without stammering and secondly it hit help me get over the fear of being rejected and I think all of these things really really help me so this is one component that you can fix only after you've practiced for at least one year or so let me know in the comment section what are your fears because I'm very very curious struggle if you had any of your fears mentioned before I would love to know and you know I would love to have a chat about it in the comment section so once you recognize your fears you can start solving them one by one with that we come to the second strategy that you need to improve your your first impressions because a lot of people will listen to you if they value you if they feel they can get something out of you and even if you speak without much confidence even if you don't have like really really fancy vocabulary or really fancy English if they know you're really good at what you do if they want something from you they will easily listen very very carefully this again has six important points you need to consider number one decide who you want to impress let me share this by an example assume that I'm going into a concert or like a really really expensive event or some place where there are so many people most of the young people would try to impress other young people then there would be a level where a person would aspire to impress the stall owners another level would be to impress the owner of the event itself another could be to impress the owner of the land on which the event is being hosted and the interesting part is that in all of these levels of hierarchy the things that you can do to impress young people is very very different from the things you need to to do to impress the owner of the entire event again very very different from the things that you need to know to impress the owner of the property where the event is being organized and I speak from experience for example if you wanted to impress young people you would probably dress up in a really flashy jacket and like really really you know bling yourself up you enter you're drinking you're smoking you're just like trying to look cool all of these things will impress people who are around your age but if you had to impress the owner of the property then you probably have to come up with something which is really really valuable so maybe you have a brand that has really good distribution or maybe you really know how to grow businesses whatever it is if you want to impress a certain category of people you need to know what are they looking for and if you figure out what they're looking for then you need to communicate to them that I am valuable to you once you do that they will automatically listen to you and they will be more tolerant of your mistakes so as I said in the very beginning of the video you have to focus on the offer and not just the pitch if your underlying offer is really really good it doesn't matter if your pitching skills are mediocre tip number two always get introduced by somebody else so let's just say that you enter into a networking event and you're all by your own it is very very difficult to meet people if you're alone at the event especially for me so I always try to find a common connect right I would either ask people before the event if you're going or not and if I feel that there's some sort of vibe then I ask them if I can hang out with them now there's a double-sided layer to this right if you as a person are not very likable in their eyes then they will just ignore you so you don't want to come across a person who's just forcing themselves to somebody else at a networking event right so it again all comes down to how good you are how valuable you are so in my case my aspiration was that I need to become so good I need to become so cool I need to become so intelligent that people would feel proud introducing me right so I don't want to be that person who would be like oh is MIL can you introduce me to that person and blah blah blah I was like this is not scalable at all I need to go back back home work on something do something intelligent so that people say that anch you come with us I'll introduce you to XYZ people and trust me it took some time it took 2 and a half 3 years for sure but now I'm at a place where I'm finally starting to experience this right so if I tell somebody that hey I saw that you're going to this networking event can I come with you can you make me meet more people that person would be happy to do so because that person is again helping another person meet me and this friend of mine he already knows that if I introduce anch to this new person that person will thank me the longer run because anch is a valuable person so if I introduce anch to somebody else that somebody will also say tip number three is just a reiteration of the entire point that I'm saying that you have to be more valuable and successful so I just quickly skip to point number four on tip number four improve the choice of clothes that you wear so I know this subject is very very complicated there's a lot to Fashion in general I will just quickly tell you what I do if you feel that you have enough savings to invest in this go ahead with it so I primarily buy from three brands none of this is sponsored I'm just literally giving you the costs and how much I spend on my clothes I either go for H&M then as I started making more money then I sort of started investing in Zara now in the past 1 month I have switched to Marks and Spencers and I always buy clothes that are without logos I always wear solids and I've realized that it didn't matter what kind of clothes I wore as long as I was fitl looking so again exercise and physique plays a huge role the thing is that if you're not focusing on your body you'll have to spend a lot of time finding the right fit and outfits so the more time you spend in gym the Lesser time you'd have to spend in the shopping right at least in my case I'm not saying that shopping means that oh you look bad some people enjoy shopping in general for some people they really really understand clothing in general for a person like me I have zero clue about fashion so I realized that rather than spending time figuring out color combinations and t-shirts and jeans and all of those things let me spend majority of my time on my diet and gym and exercise and if my body looks good then whatever t-shirt I wear if it's a good fitted t-shirt I would look decent enough so that is the strategy that I took so I usually pick solids and the reason why I pick solids is because they are the least expensive ones so when you go to H&M it probably cost me around th000 bucks if you go to Zara it was costing around 1,500 to 1,800 bucks I recently went to Marks and spencil I had some vouchers so I tried Marks and Spencers man there's this category called autograph so this is not autograph this is I think H&M or Zara I don't even remember but basically autograph t-shirts are also very very smooth I personally really like them and I think I'm going to switch more towards them these are very solid colors for a very very long time I could not wear any dark colors because I have severe dandr issues uh that is the reason why you know I have so much like acne on my forehead and all of these things uh so the thing is that now I'm sort of fixing my diet fixing my dandruff so I can go back to wearing like blacks and dark colors uh but majorly if you feel that you know white looks good on you in summers where like a basic white T-shirt blue jeans from Levis I always trust Levis in terms of jeans and for a very long time I never used to focus on my shoes I used to feel that it's very superficial but now I'm realizing how important shoes are uh because as a student I never cared about shoes but turns out people really really care about shoes so do I recommend you to spend lacks of rupees on shoes not at all just buy one pair of shoes I right now just have one pair of shoes that I wear on every event every single time I go out and these are like Converse shoes uh I don't know the exact name but they look very futuristic they're called fly ease fly wave something like that all right so these are the shoes that I had got uh the important thing about shoes is that you need to maintain them okay so what I usually do is I I keep one shoe which I only wear outside indoors I wear chaples and then before I go I 100 110% make sure that I clean them so you can use any shoe cleaner but use it with a strong brush now this is not a sponsored collab but I use this one uh I it's called cherry and it does a really really good job because what I felt is that when you have clean shoes like they just stand out so I think yeah invest in a good shoe that sort of helps you stand out and make sure that they're very very clean uh and clean them just before you're about to exit your house and I'm not saying you don't have to buy the exact same shoe but what I'm saying is just have clean shoes because when somebody looks at you the thing is that your first impressions are actually created by perceptions and what happens is that when you enter an event when somebody sees you they scan you top to bottom then whatever they see in front of their eyes they correlate with all the memories they have preed in their brains so if a person has spent a really really good amount of their lives knowing the realities of life knowing the harshness of life then that person will instantly know that clothing doesn't matter and this is all a facade but majority of the people in our world are really superficial and they rely on these quick connections so they see that if this person is not well-dressed if this person is not fit if this person is not taking care of himself or herself then I don't want to be associated with this person right so it's just a quick tip that I would recommend that improve the choice of clothes that you wear on tip number four improve your skin and hair now of course you'd be wondering that an why are all of these things related to speaking more confidently because I realized that if I look better then I was more confident while speaking I had more motivation I had more Charisma in general and what happens is that when I used to go to someone and say hi the response I used to get 3 years ago versus the response I get today is very very different 3 years ago when I used to go to somebody and say hi they would look at like a very thin and very frail and very awkward kid with a terrible haircut and like dandr and acne and all of these things and they would just start at a very wrong note right and they would just judge me as a person who just doesn't know what he's doing three years down the line now that I have focused on myself now that I'm improving my physique and my personality and my Charisma when I say hi to someone in the first second itself they're like oh like smart guy like looks like a sharp guy let me hear what he has to say so when you see that person respond with respect you automatically step up so as soon as I say hi my name is anch that person smiles to me like Hi anch how are you and that good response is a fuel to me I'm not sure if I'm able to sort of communicate the ripple effect the butterfly effect that sort of happens but when I see that man or that woman respond with respect with that you know that I'm like yes now she will listen to to me now he will listen to me let me speak more confidently now again quick tips on things that I struggled with when it comes to hair if you're struggling with Dand of course none of this is like medication advice these are the things that have worked with me I don't prescribe these solutions to anyone I tried a lot of shampoos but there's one medicated shampoo which is like a very dark pink color and it's called cell Sun something like that I tried that for a while but that made my hair really really harsh I've recently shifted to this company called bare Anatomy it's like a Gray colored bottle that has really really helped me control my dandruff so for the dandruff there are two shampoos that I usually swap in between one is this thing called celson it's like a medicated shampoo uh but then I recently switched to this one it's like a gray colored bottle of this brand called be anatomy and it should say like anti- dandr right here U so I shampoo every single day sort of depends on every single person how they are this is the face wash that I use I think this one really really works work for me worked for my skin and yeah I think dandr is also about how often do you bathe I bathe instantly after the gym but yeah I think this thing has really really helped me sort of control down my dandr and I now have like less acne on my forehead I used to get a lot of acne because I had long hair and like the dandr used to fall on my forehead I shampoo every day I condition at least three times a week I know this is too much but it is just something that has worked for me and my hair by default is very very very frizzy so to keep my hair you know in place I use this thing called as a GK hair serum it's like a tall bottle very very expensive 2,000 rupes bottle but it runs across like 2 months so it's you know around 1,000 rupes per month investment all right so I also struggled with a lot of frizzy hair which basically means that if I comb my hair it would not maintain in a specific spot and I wanted to make sure that my hair stays static when I'm giving a talk when I'm giving a session uh so for that I found this thing so this is called GK hair hair taming system with juxin this is the most expensive product that I buy for myself but this lasts for around 2 months or so but yeah and none of these are paid collapse folks like you can see from the condition of the bottle that I actually use these things I've been using this for a while and they have really helped me uh the way I look so I just thought I'll share this and as I keep saying that you can't afford any of this until unless you have a good job and a good source of Revenue of course you need to make sure that you're making enough money to do all of these things now when it comes to in-person conversation there are some things that I absolutely do and I personally feel that people in like really high circles in like the top 10% they really notice these things so in my case what happens is that I don't spend a lot of time talking and you know sometimes I eat a lot of sugar so I had this issue of having really bad like mouth odor like if I used to speak after 3 hours it used to feel like I just woke up from the bed like that terrible uh breath smell that you have in general so I used to have that problem around 2 and a half years ago so I started using lisen I started using you know like a better toothpaste you know I used to brush twice a day and now I carry like this small Len pocket strips in my wallet basically in my wallet I have two passport size photographs and I always keep uh this thing with me it's called the lisen coolman pocket packs and what happens is that if I know that I'm about to sort of oops speak to somebody important uh I would just open this up up and take a strip and you know I think this really really helps me feel that oh my breath is going to be like super super fresh and a lot of people notice this as well right so yeah this is a pretty pretty cool thing that I always do anytime I'm entering a party or an event or if I know that I'm going to have a close conversation with someone I always have this in my wallet anytime I know that I'm meeting someone important or I'm picking somebody in my car and I know face distance is going to be at least this much I keep a list in my mouth before I go for that conversation and trust me there are so many people who have noticed this that when unch speaks it's like a mint fresh air right and I always carry a small perfume I've kepted in my car anytime I meet somebody I quickly apply that perfume literally 15 seconds before and this is the perfume that I use so this is the MW Explorer not sure if I'm pronouncing the word correctly again very very expensive product uh but that's why I use it very rarely so what I usually do is if I'm going somewhere I would keep this in the car so I don't apply perfume when I leave my house I apply it as soon as I'm stepping outside the car another hack is that if you have vaseline if you were to apply vaseline on your uh this middle arm or even on your neck and then in on Vaseline if you put a perfume uh the scent remains for a longer time so I think Vaseline with this perfume right here extremely good combo um I love it I love the scent of it but yeah pretty expensive but yeah if if you start earning uh once you have crossed that threshold of say 75 to 80,000 a month I think these are the small small details that really help you stand out in a crowd when you're trying to like communicate and you know feel more confident so what happens is that as soon as I walk up to somebody they see a person who is in well ironed clothes I speak and they feel that I'm confident they smell the Len which is like a good mint breath and because I'm wearing perfume it's like a good Essence like they they smell something good and instantly they're like this guy has come prepared right now I know that a lot of you who are listening to this they'll be like what nonsense is he talking about but these are not my techniques I have learned this from people who are way higher than me in the social hierarchy so these are not my techniques it took me a lot of time to understand why they are rising so fast and I had to do that embarrassing job of you know asking them K are what is this like why does your mouth smell so good why do you smell so good what is the perfume brand that you're using so in terms of the the perfume brand I used to use like those cheap perfumes like those water perfumes but I realized that they don't last for long now I've shifted to this thing call as MW Explorer it's like a Black Bottle very very expensive again it costs around 5,000 rupees but that perfume lasts me for like three and a half 4 months like I use it and I only use it if I'm going to an important event so I don't use it on a day-to-day basis I sort of like save it for really really important moments at the very end start having a social media presence I cannot tell you how help f it has been for me simply because I make content on Instagram and YouTube so a lot of people have already seen my face they might not know my name but they've seen my face or they've heard about me from somebody else so just having a social media presence really really helps because I'll tell you what happens you would go to a party you would meet somebody and I never recommend you to you know take numbers or emails so you should always say let's connect on Instagram once they connect with you on Instagram if they see a properly well- defined Instagram grid if they properly see that you have a good DP you know you've been keeping your grid neat and you have a formal good-look Instagram profile then they feel like oh this person cares about his or her social media presence and this person has some understanding of his Aesthetics in general now I won't say that you need like thousands of followers and millions of followers you don't need any of that I'm just saying that once somebody searches you on Instagram your grid should be an accurate representation of your aspirations and your Ambitions because anyway on social media nobody puts like the bad part of their life right so I'm just saying that if everybody's playing the game why why are you not playing the game if everybody's so superficial why not use their superficiality to sort of get ahead in life and to influence them even more so the first two strategies were more about First Impressions and the mindsets and now that we are done with those the rest of the video is very very easy to understand so I'll quickly run you through all of these tactical tips in strategy number three you need to improve on your tonality vocabulary and Pace I personally feel that if you crack these three your basics of speaking clearly are going to be sorted on tip number one before you start speaking clearly you need to practice writing clearly before you start writing clearly you need to start reading content that has been written clearly what that means is that you need to start reading tweets or a book like Almanac of Noel ravikant or a book like rework books that are very clearly written so that you understand how to write clearly then whatever you're learning in life try to document it on either Twitter on linked in and use a plug-in like either grammarly Pro or use chat GPT just to improve your grammar in the next 30 to 40 days try to write at least two posts every single week so that you understand how to write clearly because it is only after you write clearly that your brain starts to think clearly and once your brain starts to think clearly you can officially move to level two where you start speaking clearly tip number two practice in front of a camera and not just a mirror what happens is that when you practice in front of the mirror you have to speak and analyze yourself both in parallel that doesn't really work the correct way to do this would be to put up a camera in front of you in portrait mode record yourself speaking about anything that you've learned or just your day-to-day experience and then watch those videos after an hour or maybe after the next day do not watch them instantly I'm telling you there's a huge difference this is called the overnight test if you record your videos on Monday and then see them on Tuesdays only then you'll be able to give yourself concrete feedback I would recommend you to create a Google drive folder have month-wise folders and every month have numeric digits to it that Monday 1 Tuesday 2 wedes day 3 and just have videos maybe you know three times a week four times a week so that you can also track your progress and I would love to see your speaking progress after this video at the 30th day if you really really create a montage of these videos let's just say you start speaking on day number one if you make at least 20 videos in the next one month month and if you send me a collection if you send me the Google drive or a link to all of those videos I will pick one random winner not random actually I'll pick the person who worked the hardest and I will send that person my favorite books delivered to their doorsteps I'm not joking about this if you send it to me if you show me that you worked hard I will personally send you that gift tip number three you need to start practicing your accent and flow on top of that flow even your tonality so what happens is that once you start recording yourself once you start watching your recordings you would realize that there are so many places where you can improve your accent now when it comes to pronunciation the best way to learn pronunciation is YouTube and Google if I ever had an issue understanding you know how do I say this word I would just go to Google type the word space pronunciation and that really really helped another thing that I used to do was to watch a lot of celebrity interviews a lot of Sportsman interviews a lot of speeches given by celebrities and Sportsmen why because these people are trained by the best Specialists out there so I would not really go for like tedex speakers because they feel like really really ahead of me but I used to stick to like celebrities because they really knew how to reply and how to respond and because they're celebrities I was naturally very interested to see what they will say so it's just like learning becomes way more interesting when you're learning from a celebrity interview tip number four understand why you need to know English because English in general which has a good tonality and good vocabulary impresses people outside India as well so what happens is that once you start practicing once you start approaching ing freelance clients that are based out of India you knowing English can really really help you and I just want to put this as an intent because you need an intent moving forward otherwise you lose motivation in fact I had made a very very cool video which was around learning how to speak in English that video is in Hindi so I am assuming that you've all must have seen that video before you came here because that video got a lot of views but if you haven't seen that video you should totally check it out I'm pretty sure you're halfway through this video so you already know English but maybe you might just get some good ideas out of it tip number five is a recommendation I have a really really smart friend his name is Ganesh he runs a YouTube channel as well called think cool and they also have courses on communication if you don't want to invest in any of these courses I would still recommend you to watch think school c videos and understand how Ganesh teaches how Ganesh breaks down everything into clear concept because he has mastered the art of thinking clearly and speaking clearly the way he speaks the way he communicates it's extremely effective and he's very very very confident at what he does I have personally learned a lot from him I his very close friend so I've seen him in you know real life situations as well so I just thought I'll share this tip out there because it's not just about you reading from books right it's way more practical to learn from people who are using these techniques in other areas of life as well tip number six you need to practice on how do you communicate something complicated with lesser words and simpler words clear is always better than clever what happens is that when people start practicing the feel that maybe if I use a lot of complicated words I would sound smarter the truth is that you need to make it very very simple there's this very very cool teacher called Richard fan not sure if I'm saying the surname pronunciation correct but Richard sir was an incredible teacher and if you were to watch any of his lectures you would realize that he was so so simple like he used to communicate really complicated things in a very very basic way so you need to keep that mindset when you're improving your communication that clear is always better than clever now if you watch this video so far and if you really really feel that this was valuable please make sure that you click on subscribe and hit the Bell icon 75% of you have still not subscribed to us I would really appreciate if you would click on that button and hit the Bell icon because we will regularly come up with many many helpful videos that can help you improve your life and make you more money let's come to strategy four where you need to understand social dynamics as well because the thing is I wanted this video to be around navigating social Dynam because it's not just about speaking confidently right you need a lot more to extend the conversation as well to have an effective relationship once you communicate with someone so here are six ways six very very important techniques that I have been using in social situations number one cut the conversation if it is not flowing well what happens is that when we meet someone we have this sun cost fallacy we feel that if we've walked up to this person and we've spoken for one or two minutes let's try to extend it more even if there's nothing much to talk about so there's a lot of awkward silence it's that point on the conversation when you say or you know like what else or so that's a very lame way to you know sort of stretch the conversation what I usually do is I would walk up to somebody say hi every even after just 30 seconds if I feel that there's nothing interesting to say if I feel that this opposite person is not very interested in sort of extending the conversation I would just say all right see you around all right hope to see you soon all right best of luck I would shake hands and just gracefully get outdated right like I wouldn't Force the conversation it's completely okay if you just show your face say hi and just have a reminder same goes with text right if you feel that there's nothing interesting to do just cut the conversation just say something like yes awesome great just put an emoji close the conversation smoothly and get out this is a very very important principle of social dynamics that if you feel the energy is going down rather than being that person who stretches a conversation or just like does Annoying Small Talk cut it and move on tip number two there's a three-step layer on how do you build a conversation layer number one is the vibe match if your Vibe is not matching with the opposite person's Vibe then it is useless to initiate the conversation in the first place and Vibe is not just about looks or appearances or just like the way you handle yourself it's just energies and you will just feel it now I will not go into the entire concept of Vibes in general and Vibe matching and Vibe detection in general because that's a separate topic for another day but I think you know what I'm talking about right so step number one is vipe if there's a VIP check then second is do you have any interesting to share or anything interesting to ask if you don't have any of those you can't have a good conversation so make sure that you have something interesting to talk about if you don't have it just say hi and move on tip number three the more people you have in a group in a conversation the Lesser time you get for your reply so let's just say I am having a onetoone conversation with someone in that case if that person says something I put a timer to myself that I will not extend my answer for more than 60 seconds but if there's a table or if there are three four guys standing ing you can't extend your replies to more than 60 to 45 seconds if you're telling a story and if you find everybody being really engrossed in the story and if you feel that you're a really good Storyteller and you will judge that by their eyes expression if you feel that they're engrossed in it you can stretch the story but if you feel that you're just giving a reply or giving an opinion or giving some sort of generic neutral answer make sure you cut it at the 45th second post 45th second you're just wasting everybody's time and this is a huge problem a lot of people not aware of the self timer and this usually happens when they don't practice the art of speaking clearly because they don't have the art of writing clearly because they don't have the art of thinking clearly so there are multiple layers that you have to sort of navigate through tip number four understand the concept of conversational threading which means that if the opposite person has said something for say 60 seconds you need to pick one aspect of the reply and ask a counter on top of that or add something to it so you either add on top of something that they're saying or you cross questions something that they're saying but you keep that thread flowing so this entire concept is called conversational threading I would recommend you to ask chat GP or Google B about it you don't need me to teach you about it it's just a very interesting topic that you need to know about tip number five very very important yet very few people know this when you're talking in a group even if you don't know everybody else please make sure that you look at everyone and acknowledge their presence this is so important if I enter into a group where I know one people and the other other four are strangers I will still make sure that I look at every single stranger because when you're talking into a group everybody else is looking at you and when you are shy or when you're too underconfidence you usually just look at one single person and other people find you rude but in reality it's mostly because you're too scared to maintain eye contact so on your end you're trying to do something which is easiest for you but other people feel that this person is not very open whereas if you look at everybody else it's literally you breaking the eyes for all of these four strangers without even formally introducing yourself so I'll tell you this is how the story happens this is how like a real life social situation happen I would enter into a group meet that one single person tell a story look at everybody else right now if this opposite friend of mine is smart enough then this person only will introduce me to everybody else so this is the last rule the sixth rule that I will share but basically this is a sign of intelligent people who have been in social situations I would enter a group and the opposite person who already knows me is responsible to share my name and what I do to the of the strangers if he doesn't do that once I have finished my story if the conversation has ended now I can just say to everybody and folks I forgot to introduce myself my name is an and I make content around design and AI simple 15-second introduction if you don't have a 15sec introduction please make sure that you have it memorized write it down use simple words don't make it complicated for example 3 years ago I used to say that I am a ux designer and majority of the people don't even know what ux design is so so then they would never ask me a question because they feared looking stupid very few people would have the courage to say what does that mean now I say I design apps and websites I say I create content so these are phrases that everybody can relate to and you need to have something that sounds interesting so please make sure you have a 10-second introduction about yourself and what is it that you do on number six is understanding that you need to learn the art of introducing your friend so let's just say that you enter into a group with a friend and this friend is a stranger to everybody else please make sure that you connect this stranger with the rest of the people and if you feel all of these people know each other then it is sorted but this is a very very good habit not about speaking confidently in general but I have personally felt way more confident simply because I am the one who's introducing my friend to other people so I always ended up being that person who introduces other people so it just sort of created this confidence inside of me that I'm not the shy one I'm not the outsider I am the one who brings people together and because I've been doing this so often my entire friend Circle sort of now knows each other so now a lot of people know a lot of of other people simply because of me and because I've been doing this for them when they see me in a party and when I am the stranger they introduce me to their friends so has sort of compounded with time and that has really helped me in strategy five we will talk about some mental models that will help you become more attractive and more charismatic because if you know these mental models well then while you're speaking confidently the opposite person will just perceive you in a way better and a way more attractive way number one is the halo effect which is just about being at the right place being with the right kind of people see no matter what people say if you're hanging out in a specific place again and again and that place is not very clean and it's all shabby and if you're just seen around with shabby people or in shabby places even if you're very very smart they will still perceive you as a person who's shabby and they will probably feel that you're weird like there's something weird about you now you will keep saying that un all of these traits all of these characteristics are extremely judgmental and why are you teaching us to follow these judgmental laws I would like to remind you that these r rules are not said by me I am telling you the preconceived notions that the society has in general so if Society sees you alone that is better rather than you being tagged along with someone that who you not VI with or who you think is like just a weird or annoying person in general right so if you are hanging out with people who you VIP with and you know they are comfortable friends and they like me and they you know good people to be around then good but if you're hanging around consistently hanging around with people who are into bad habits or who insult other people or if you're hanging around with bullies or if you hang around with rude people in general even if you are not rude even if you're not a bully you will still be perceived as a bully or you will still be perceived as somebody who's rude or just makes other people comfortable or just this shabby in general so halo effect tells you that you can either be alone completely alone and focus on yourself and be in a good place and be positioned well or you try to sort of build connections with people who you aspire to be like and eventually if you are very valuable they will keep inviting you again and again and very very soon when other people see you with this good good group of people they will also feel that yes if anch knows these people then probably anch is also good strategy number two if you're meeting somebody new and if you have any mutual friend make sure you compliment that mutual friend and make sure you never say anything negative when you meet somebody new for the first time this creates an effect of trust and loyalty this new person will understand that anch is not just a person who says negative stuff he actually said something good about that mutual friend who is not even there so there's a huge probability that if I build a good relationship with anch if anch talks about me to somebody else then there's a chance that anch might say good things about me as well right so do you see that pattern you don't want to come across as a person who's very cynical or very pessimistic or just you know somebody who does gossip because people are very smart people know that if this person is saying negative stuff about somebody in front of me there's a high chance that he will say negative stuff about me somewhere else tip number three in your personality you need to have a balance of warmth and competency now this is a very very difficult thing to crack in general I know so many people who come across as supremely warm but then other people push them around and they take them too softly too lightly simply because they come across as too warm so if you're too warm people consider you as too soft and if you're too competent if you sound like an over smart you know kid even then people don't relate to you so you need to make sure that when you're having a conversation you sort of oscillate between being warm and being competent now how do I do that again you can ask chat GP you can ask Google B because this video is going to go for hours and hours and I don't want to bore you with too much content but yeah just want to make sure that you understand there needs to be a balance between warmth and competency just looking supremely smart and supremely good-looking and supremely awesome is not the right way to impress people tip number four is a conversational hack that I regularly use when I want to bring someone on a closer friendship whilea level so what I would do is that after 15 to 20 minutes of conversation if I feel that we're talking about something good and if I have some expertise on it I will share this exact phrase I would say that let me tell you something interesting let me tell you a secret let me give you a secret that I share with very few people and then I would share something interesting for sure it's just because I've been reading so much so I always have some quirky fact to share what happens is that when you do that after 15 or 20 minutes of conversation the opposite person feels that now Ana has given me something that he trusts me with it but be aware if you do this too quickly let's just say you share a secret in Just 2 minutes within the conversation then the opposite person will see you as a scamster because the opposite person will feel that how valuable could this secret be right like an literally gave this to me after 2 minutes meeting me right so you need to wait for some time before you do this but even when you're giving this right there's a lot of body language play that you can do so let's just say that I am standing in this way and I'm listening right I would probably do I would look somewhere else pretend as I'm sort of remembering something interesting and I'll be like let me share you a secret that I tell very few people okay I would literally do this to denote that there's something very small very packet that I wanted to do and and I would come slightly closer to them and what happens is that in a in a lot of cases I'm you know have list in my mouth and I have good perfume so that person can smell the perfume that person can smell the lisen and that person sort of gets more Curious right so it's just like a nice hack that you can use in your day-to-day conversations tip number five if somebody invites you on their party at their house at any event if you know that they're spending some costs inviting you always go with a gift could be something very very small could be as simple as a bouquet and add a letter when I say a letter doesn't need to be in an envelope it could be on a simple piece of paper just write something thanks for inviting me unch put the date put a signature that is all I have been doing this for the past 2 to three years trust me it has really really helped me a lot number six never ask for favors or their mobile number in the first meeting it's a huge huge red flag people do not appreciate it the easiest way is to say let's get connected on Instagram as simple as that best way moving forward because then they will get connected with you on Instagram and if you're in the same Social Circle they will start seeing your stories and then once you meet them again and again at the events then you always have an ice breaker because you are seeing their stories they are seeing your stories so you can say oh how was that trip that person will be like oh I have been seeing your videos you've been growing a lot blah blah blah so you have some ice breaker but if you directly ask for a number or a favor on the first day itself it's a it's a huge huge red flag people do not appreciate it anymore all right we're at the end of the video we're at the sixth part where I will share some very very useful resources and a road map to improve your speaking skills in the next 50 days Resource number one is a YouTube channel called Charisma on command I have personally learned so many things from this one single YouTube channel it is unbelievable the kind of value they put out totally recommended for people who are introverts and want to understand how to be more confident Resource number two is going to be think school's YouTube channel I have mentioned them before as well just want to reiterate that they make really really cool videos You'll not only learn about business in general you can also learn a lot about how to communicate effectively Resource number three is again celebrity interview so I keep seeing uh this Roundtable conversation so if you go on YouTube and just type Roundtable interviews of directors and actors and movie Producers I love watching those because those are one hour long conversations so what happens is that you see how actors behave when they're open when they're vulnerable right because in interviews you can't learn anything from an interview by the way because you will never give an interview on a day-to-day basis right I mean you can give an interview but right now we're talking about how to have better conversations in day-to-day scenarios so for that it is always better to learn from Roundtable podcasts tip number four would be to create a concrete routine of taking care of your body and your skin and your hair and your clothing in general folks I'm telling you spend at least 90 days on this and your confidence levels will increase in parallel try learning a skill try reading as much as you can build conversational wealth now I know that this entire video was titled around how to speak more confidently but I shared so many other things that you really really needed to know to get that leverage to get that 10x effect right because there are so many YouTubers out there who can teach you better tonality pronunciation and all of those techniques but because you came to this video I wanted to make sure that I give you a lot of tips that I have learned from my personal experiences right none of these were written in a book none of these are just like copied pasted from some manual these are handwritten notes that I had kept in My notion Pages uh technically they're not handwritten they're probably typed but you get the point Resource number five there are two videos on our YouTube channel one is called how to glow up the other is how to speak English more confidently these two videos will really really help you get massive massive Clarity tip number six would be to become a valuable asset to the market folks people will not listen to you even if you're a fabulous public speaker if they don't want something from you and everybody wants to get something that they cannot have I will say that again everybody wants what they cannot have you need to become what they cannot have right you need to become extremely sassy extremely charismatic extremely stunning and so confident in your own skill that when you go on stage you should just feel like I own it and it will not happen until unless you truly truly break down every single thing that I've mentioned now when it comes to the road map what I want you to do is that I want you to watch this video make detailed notes on notion go to Google bar and chat GPT and ask Chad GPT to create a 30 day plan for you where you have to spend 45 minutes every single day ask Shad GPD to give you a topic to speak on record yourself in front of the camera create a montage of 30 days and see yourself improving and what you can do is you can judge yourself you can show that video to your friends to your parents and get feedback from them and if they feel that your pronunciation is bad your grammar is bad you take that specific component again put it into Google B again put it inside chat GPT and ask chat GP how do I improve this so you keep using AI to become better and better and better and and you have to do this for at least 5050 days you will not get any results until unless you spend 50 days doing all of these things so yes before I end this video let's do a quick revision of all the points that we have covered in this video on number one we listed some very very important common fears and why do we end up with resistance on point number two we understood how do I improve my first impression so Point number one and point number two were not about conversational tips in general but about improving your mindsets and improving your selfcon confidence so that you are ready to communicate more confidently on tip number three I told you it is very very important to focus on tonality vocabulary and Pace these are the three most core important aspects of speaking clearly along with tips on how you can be a better conversationalist you don't need me to individually focus on these three points you can ask Chad GPT B and watch a ton of other YouTube videos to get this thing sorted on point number four I shared some practical tips on navigating physical social groups these tips will really really help you when you enter networking events or meet somebody important at a party in point number four I shared some really really useful mental models for making someone like you when they meet you for the first time at the end I shared some very important resources and a road map that can help you upscale yourself in the next 50 days let me know in the comments section if this video was helpful I love when you folks give detailed feedback on how the video was I personally go through every single comment we work really really hard to create these slides in fact the PDF of this entire slide would be in the video so that you can make notes it won't be without uh any passwords I've removed the password so you will download the PDF very very easily from Google Drive but in return folks I want you to put your feedback in the comment section if you want more such videos like these uh we've been creating a lot of videos around personality Improvement in general we've also made a very very useful course on learning figma that can help you learn social media design web design and app design have have really good income as a ux designer we've also created a website called learn uux doin where you can get a 7we syllabus on becoming a complete ux designer from scratch if you're interested in AI tools we've created a website called how to prompt. in where you can get a stepbystep road map on mastering tools like chat GPT Google bard and mid Journey all of these tools can really really help you make more money and just become a better professional become a better student get the most out of your life if you haven't connected me on Instagram make sure you go to Instagram and follow us on at theate an me.in we have created a broadcast channel where I regularly share updates and behind the scenes a lot of useful stuff is there where a community of almost 15,000 people it's really really fun I keep sharing like quirky voice notes so you'll get a lot of goofy stuff right there I will paste the link in description I hope this detailed Master Class helped you get some clarity please make sure that you watch all the videos in this entire life Improvement series and I will see you very very soon again looking forward to your videos If you create that 30-day video Google Drive make sure you tag me if you put it on LinkedIn if you put it on Instagram make sure you tag me I would love to see it in the next 30 days from the upload date in the next 30 days I will pick that one winner and I will send you my favorite books delivered at your doorstep three of my favorite books with that being said I hope that you're taking care of your mind and body this is your host an mea signing out if you like this video make sure you click on like and hit the Subscribe button I regularly upload videos on ux design marketing and storytelling

Channel: Ansh Mehra

Views: 191,102

Keywords: how to communicate effectively, how to communicate, how to improve communication skills, how to become a better communication, how to improve your communication, how to improve your communication skills, how to communicate better, how to improve your voice, how to communicate effectively at work, how to communicate effectively with people, how to communicate well, how to be more articulate, how to improve communication skill, how to articulate your thoughts

Id: P4TJ1T3g7mo

Length: 55min 33sec (3333 seconds)

Published: Sun Nov 12 2023