Comedian Matteo Lane Does Bob the Drag Queen's Makeup

hey everyone it's me bobby drag queen and this is oh they want to be called coin oh bobble heads hey bobble heads it is me bob the drag queen and this is yet another youtube video i am here with uh matteo lane now say hi hi say something now matteo is convinced because he's seen me doing make a few times he's convinced that he can do my makeup um without any guidance and then in the end i will look like this this is this is the goal this is the picture we have agreed upon and mateo's gonna gonna do it i'm gonna make it even better so i also okay so all right i like actually don't know what i'm doing but um i feel like i would do a really good job with this because i worked for years as a professional fashion illustrator and storyboard artist for tv commercials specifically within fashion and how much of that was makeup work a lot i would do like on people uh well they were on people on paper so yeah i just i feel like it would it would be a natural [Music] progression it's the next step yeah it's the next step just to do makeup on a scale of one to ten ten being looking exactly like this yeah one being i am unrecognizable um i think we're gonna be at a solid six nick thinks he's gonna be a four god this is so embarrassing for myself and everybody involved i've never been missing all right well let's let's go for it let's let's have at me okay so all right thanks for coming to our makeup tutorial today i'm really excited um this is my friend joanne and um so we're gonna run a fabric store so we're gonna we're gonna start by putting on um a foundation and it's going to be we're going to start with our hi i forgot one thing that i use see wait where is hey where's um my dish full of makeup remover sorry where is it at thanks for coming back it was right i mean you were not gonna put this in the phone i keep saying film like this is going to dance it goes it goes inside my your hair i'm going to give you one i'm going to literally just just one tip because this will make my life easy you have to wet this okay where's water in this bathroom you didn't get it out from it well you think it was promised so that is the and that's just because my my life will be easier if you wet this okay and it feels kind of wet and that is the only tip that i'm giving mateo oh it's like a thing of water don't listen to nick don't just i can't tell you how wet but i tell you that we wet it well i wet some of it it's gonna make your life easier what about my life i'm the one is that good you want a wetter no this is no use is it too wet it's too wet i'll squeeze it out on you okay all right all right i don't want to laugh the whole time through okay so if jesus christ oh my god i'm gonna here we go okay so we're i get to call out the product for you quiet i'm gonna this is my process all right wait i just wanna see okay this is the product let's show it to this camera this product is called can you put it down a little bit uh-huh i'm reading it this is look at the bottom uh it's crayon tv paint stick and the color is the color is i feel like lady bunny on the bottom baby the bottom the color is just dew okay so the the colors do why am i doing this they can see it everyone does it down a little bit it's the it's the it's the it's the makeup guru thing got it it's the mua thing right what's his name the makeup guy who's really funny james charles yeah his sisters yeah oh you do great james charles okay so first i just want to start on the t of his face the t-zone don't you laugh at me so this is okay see i'm already it's like you look great all right and also we have to face me though and i'm not gonna see until we're done right right okay so i just want to do light see this is so if i was going to do a painting this is where the light's hitting right are you afraid to put makeup on my face no i'm not afraid i'm just plain i'm just putting i'm just this is i'm an artist i have to look i'm not as delicate as one of your canvases i am much more sturdy than one of your campuses okay i'm going to just do here don't you judge judy you already look so pretty i can't i like don't even know how to handle it martha's gonna be obsessed nick is genuinely confused what are you confused by this is the first thing that you are doing yeah the question is can nick do better and will we find out in another video yes here look at me because you're looking we're looking to the camera so i have to make sure ah yes it's perfect exactly okay so i need you to put the cap back on that so it's dry out but i wasn't done with it in between steps you always recap you always do this well i need to use this makeup every time i do your makeup i have to use this makeup always say the same thing to me as i recap that all right now i'm really honestly nervous because this is i think cosmic stick blend this doesn't have a color on the bottom of it this is makeup cream blend stick this is a blend i'm not putting this on you oh my god it's too dark i have to beat this away it's black the color is literally it does have a color what does it say it doesn't say black too much no it doesn't it says it says 75 ounces doing makeup you can't you don't you don't wash your hands between every time you get makeup on your hair no okay but you can't see yourself you don't know how good you look i have no clue i have a clue oh no you don't i mean even right now are you cleaning the product yeah i'm italian put makeup on my goddamn face let me do my process why won't you let me live you're good you're good you're just you're so nervous i love this oh my god yeah but so cuz all right here's the thing i would like to use a like can you blend and do the same thing what's the wait what's the question you can ask the question but he cannot wait what is the question nothing i don't have questions can you ask a question to the camera so i no i don't have questions but i don't want to ruin your brushes can i use your brush no the brushes won't be ruined they want to be really good i have a cleaning machine what is that what's that machine called kennedy [Music] look i have it on my shoulder you're getting the face what you're doing is okay i asked you and this is i know but i can't answer it's good you're great go on because i just want to put down some foundation a nice foundation i think i'm doing a really good job you probably are i can't see you also in your defense a big part of drag makeup is looking completely bonkers until the final 10 minutes well yeah that's the thing imagine if i still put that black on you [Music] oh you are definitely not afraid to put makeup on me now are you you took that note you said you're not a canvas i'm like all right i'll just do but i don't want to hurt you no this doesn't hurt i do this all the time i don't know i don't do this but but i do how do you make them all time i think you do exactly this all the time jacob does this look like my normal process no and they're doubting me thanks for doing the i'm not saying you can't pull it together oh she has begun the blending process you look a little bit like you're ready to go on tour with the lion king did you see that all white choir do it yeah of course and it looked like flow from um from progressive yeah yeah that she was i was like god she really is doing everything are you still feeling confident no not at all what are you talking about i feel like a complete [ __ ] and i lost my mind watching coco i could not stop crying oh oh yeah coco will wreck you oh and make fun of me because i was sewing cold through the whole thing but you also told me not to move well yeah because i was painting you and you're like bob has no emotions i'm about to tell you to not move now so i can get this perfect face going i really don't know [Music] i'm pretty horrified actually because i don't feel like this is blending the way i want it to blend but i i'm just gonna do this this is powder bronzer and then this is it's the glow kit that's fun oh wait but this isn't is this powder yeah no what do i know i don't know i feel like you need to have more highlights in can i go back do you ever go back in and put foundation in i'm trying to set it now who knows you got this mateo i don't think i do but i i think you should be like more highlighted it's not hold on there are so many layers of occasion i think you look great so wait now how does this how do you get this on there we can't tell you all right this seems wrong do not show up at this please rub your hands across well i don't want to get it everywhere right here it's just powder it's fine okay so i just i get better my clothes all the time you do so you don't mind all the time okay so it is entirely up all the time look it brushes off this is my makeup machine okay just do it shut up hit his face shut up i need that there oh god this is a nightmare okay there stunning you are well this is a nice step that i'm finally getting you're gonna get makeup all over your clothes i don't care like you said okay this is a nice step i will tell you this setting the makeup i'm not doing it right i was afraid you weren't gonna set it at all i'm gonna set it right there see i just there is nothing on this powerball you're just rubbing us i'm like i have to say something there's nothing i'm setting it in with what there's nothing on the puff it was gone after the first time you have to keep that i know don't you think i know that i don't [Music] so put some powder on the floor i put a lot on all right i'll put a lot on you want more you got more is this too much just go [Laughter] said more powder so you got more powder i'm a makeup artist who listens to written different clients so but i want to put more contour on now so can i do contour with this like again all right let's do it again okay so i feel like this is good up here oh look at me that's not right okay we're gonna do this here look at me look at me and don't judge but actually i don't think we should do that i don't sometimes i see okay oh god this is awful things are happening and they're not supposed to be happening so we'll just do more highlights that's it that's easier this is it i'm just gonna try and you know what i'm not doing i'm steven slightly looking at the photo i can't wait to try to glue my lashes on oh and if you can even identify with the glue it's wig glue right because you did it for me once when i was liza minnelli yes okay all right i'm going to use a different brush now this thing yeah so the other thing about this okay silky tutorial on her season i don't think she looked crazy no but that process was bananas and because all drag queens not all directors but most directly are self-taught through their makeup process this is like a system we made up and picked up pieces from here and there over the years we end up just coming up with this like whack-a-doodle system of doing your own makeup so i'm going to start your eyes work this is exciting so i want to do like the highlight and then the eyeliner over that okay and then i want to do but right now i want to before i do your brows i want to do more highlight but then i'm like do i use powder for that or do i use high more like this but this is i feel like what color do you want what color do you want the highlight to be i want the highlight to be i'm just i got this okay that's not mine i need it to be brighter though how do i i need a brighter color this doesn't look pleasant i don't typically use a brighter color why i need a brighter color well i i don't have white people makeup but oh she's gonna play i keep doing the same thing over again like expecting a different result it's like when i'm gonna get eye makeup i just know i'm doing it right now so you were doing eyes i'm doing a whole thing the whole yeah the whole you got to make it work you got to make it work i'm trying to add on highlights to the eyes right so then i'm going to add the glitter and then i'm gonna this is so scary [Music] that is um that is uh gel liner you said that with a lot of confidence but i don't know if that actually helps me i'm just telling you what it is that this uh it's just it is gel liner you're doing my and you're doing my eyeliner you have a good artist's eye though so maybe your brows will be even for once how dare you is that how you do when you when you draw to your dots well it's kind of from animation so what they're called keyframes right so instead of just going for it if you're gonna like if you're gonna animate somebody doing this kind of walk you don't just animate like that you don't just animate that you do animate this and then this and then you do the in between of that and then in between of those so it's called a keyframe so i'm basically doing a keyframe with your eyebrows to try and get it i'm sorry eyelash eyeliner i don't know what i'm saying you're having a full stroke right now you better keyframe that [ __ ] [ __ ] this part actually might be a little slightly easier for me because it's literally just drawing i'm so excited about that yeah that's it how do you describe my eyebrows they look villainous to you they are a little disney villain [Music] i mean this is literally the first time i've ever done drag well slash makeup i'm not unhappy with this because there's a lot that i can sort of fix with this now do you need glue for this it'll go on the eye i can't tell you well we're gonna find out lean back i think that we need glue oh no look at that it just goes straight up this reminds me of christina aguilera when i was in seventh grade and she had her music video come on over oh and she had that glitter in the i mean that's when i knew i was good those red highlights and that glitter eye makeup i just lost my goddamn mind i'm gonna put that down is that gonna dry out what the nose clear okay it's just glitter i don't know wait this is supposed to be powder what's happening is this powder this doesn't look like powder i mean it is no that's not powder this is powder i want this hello darkness my old okay look back at me i'll come back to that okay so now this okay did you want to use that no i'm gonna do your little wait what were you gonna do with that i just want more highlight but it's okay well wait i'm thinking what were you gonna do with that because i kind of want you to do whatever you're gonna do i want you to do it i really want you to do it i didn't have a plan i just want to tell you that you didn't that is that's a wax pencil that is literally just for picking up right stuff i literally only used to pick up rhinestones and put them in my face this is a pretty color on you you're i you need mascara oh my god don't look at yourself in the mirror i really don't think i'm doing that bad so i've seen this before where they lay out the eyelashes makeup artists mm-hmm so when i watch nicole byer do her makeup sometimes she does that i don't know that's something that helps people i don't know how much it changes the process to just lay them on the table because i don't organize it but i grabbed mine out of the thing but this works as well this works this works now how you can put these lashes on my face i don't know i don't know where wait give me a minute oh this i remember this now no yes it's horrifying i'm what is that face for what how else do you expect me to put these on okay this is gonna go that way because the lash goes out longer uh-huh i'm gonna do that oh my god i'm just so good okay was that good was that was that where that was that good instincts okay that went out a little wrong hold on okay okay open your eye reckless just recklessly throwing the lashes at my face and now the bottom lashes oh joy okay oh god oh [ __ ] all right is it right no it's upside down oh is it no they're going out the way they're supposed to they're upside down wait are they doing this are they doing this they're doing that they're upside down but i like them that way they will keep them that way all right don't worry well i have to put the glue on for the other parts if you like it i like it they're going upside down all right just i want your eyes to look like a venus fly trap feed me grab on feed me now all right i think we're done i think we're i think we're done you want to put on a wig yeah you picked the way which one you want me to wear me i'm gonna make sure my face [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] okay so this is the moment and let's see where i ended up what's up if i ever leave the house looking so good [Music] you look sick so what did you use the blending the what were you blending the forehead's not bad well it's just there's nothing in between the two and i see all of that okay let me let me just show i know i was supposed to do this let me show you one thing hold on one thing this is surprising i will say this i thought it'd be worse the forehead need to be blended out a little bit better which i did this is it just needs to be you and i'm wet but don't you see how wet i am it's like i'm dry sweating like i'm just showing up and i'm like it looks like you have a liver problem yeah i have the sweats what positive things you have to say about it okay this eye is i'm this eyebrow this eyebrow is nice yeah that one works that is a nice eyebrow this girl she has problems but why are my lower lashes upside down why wouldn't they look good no why would you think lashes do that why would you think that although i like this eyebrow but the thing is like i'm a good artist so like that drawing an eyebrow i was like well that was fun yeah the eyebrows this is not a bad eye this eye you also didn't use any you didn't use any eye shadow nope whatsoever i didn't i yeah i would have to be fair i had no idea where the eyeshadow was it's the one that says eyeshadow the other one just said do and i was like well this foundation is it doesn't say foundation it has a safe foundation it's tv paint stick i don't know what a tv paint stick is i'm painting a television what's that it's for tv like when you're on tv um but it's bad all right let's start throwing a beauty filter if that helps ready and am i beautiful now it's you know what if everybody drink 12 beers you'd be great well listen guys subscribe to my channel um this has been another wonderful beauty anti-beauty beauty guru moment with matteo elaine tell them you're social matteo lane m-a-t-t-e-o-l-a-n-e and all my real artwork is on there and my ass and stand up and my stand up some really brilliant stand-up all right thank you guys mwah [Music] okay listen guys don't forget to like and subscribe and hit the tail back and forth listen guys i'll put you around me there we go and listen guys do not forget to like and subscribe and hit the notification bells uh so that you can see more of this so bad you see something new [Music] [Laughter] this wasn't terrible mattel it's just so i'm just a wet sweaty person

Channel: Bob The Drag Queen

Views: 633,513

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Id: hLd-SEqHvyQ

Length: 25min 5sec (1505 seconds)

Published: Fri Sep 25 2020