Colossians 3:18-4:1 Who's the Boss? - Pastor James O

hey good morning everybody welcome to south bay community church my name is james and i'm one of the pastors here and i've actually been on staff here for about 17 years and yet maybe some of you guys are sitting here or watching today online or back in the tent my church my tent friends are back there maybe you're wondering though like um i haven't really seen you around i haven't really got a chance to know you and that's because often i'm hanging out with our middle schoolers and our high schoolers i've had the privilege i had the honor i've had the complete joy of my life being able to serve our youth ministry serving our middle school students evolution and our high school students legacy and yet you know in these past few years i've been kind of transitioning kind of moving out and as you guys know todd is our youth director he's kind of slowly but surely taking over and i'm still there because i still love working with all of our youth but i've been given more opportunities to serve our church as a whole doing more of our care and counseling needs that have arised and as pastor dave mentioned one of those counseling needs that i've really come to enjoy and do a lot more of is premarital and when i'm meeting with young couples it's always so fun and so exciting as they're about to journey into this chapter of marriage but oftentimes i'm asked for advice i'm asked for you know what what would you tell us that we really need to consider or try or keep in mind as we move into this relationship and you know what my one big advice that i tell all young couples don't do it i'm married don't do it i'm i'm just kidding i don't tell them that exactly but i do tell them hey would you pause and would you really think about it because it is a huge commitment and when things are going well and when things are going right man it's one of the biggest human relationships that you could ever experience and such a blessing and yet when it's going wrong i can see why paul shared that it might be better for those that are single to remain single and yet man it's such a beautiful thing to see couples come with this idea and this heart and this passion to become as one and so i do offer some advice like you know happy wife happy life uh but more importantly what i try to teach couples is always remember that you guys are a team sometimes we forget that sometimes we're so focused maybe in an argument or a fight or when the intentions are arise to try to determine who's right and who's wrong who wins and who loses but will you guys remember that in a relationship like that when one person wins and the other person loses that actually everyone loses but you know as i was kind of thinking through and preparing for this message because i noted and i realized that it talks a lot about marriage it talks a lot about family it talks a lot about work i realized that you know what there's another question that i would probably ask couples now and it's actually a question that i've heard quite often at like bridal showers and things like that and that question is who's the boss who's the boss in the relationship or maybe you guys have heard the phrase this way who wears the pants between the two of you you know and oftentimes when couples are asked this these answers can range from being on the same page to being way way way apart for instance this is my wife darren we've been married for five going on six years and we were actually talking about this question and i was thinking you know what let me see what she has to say i'm going to tell her what i think and so we're like who wears the pants in the family who who's the boss in the relationship and of course my answer was me i'm the boss right and you know what her response was exactly what one of you guys just did laugh she's like what james no you don't really believe that do you like of course i believe that she said no james i'm the boss i wear the pants in the relationship and you know what we had a very spirited conversation about this afterwards but here's the truth both of us are wrong and today what i want to do is i want to show you who truly is the boss in some of the most important and significant relationships in our lives in our marriages at home and at work and how when we really understand and really know who is boss it will change the way we live and experience these relationships and so before we jump into today's message would you guys join me in a word of prayer let's pray god i come before you asking that you would help all of us really hear your words and that god these weren't wouldn't just be things that we know and understand but that god these would be things that we would begin to faithfully submit to and believe and then live out with all of our being god speak directly to us god may nothing come in the way of hearing your word and responding in the way that you called us to respond we thank you so much and we pray all these things in jesus name amen if you guys haven't been with us for the last few weeks we've been in a study through the book of colossians and the theme of colossians is this jesus is greater see the first two chapters dealt with doctrine because back then there was lies there was heresy there was deception that was making its way into the church people were being taught and they were beginning to believe that jesus was not enough when the scriptures clearly stayed and paul presents that no jesus he is supreme and with this with this idea understood and comprehended by all the believers chapters three and four begins to unpack the idea of how do we live this out what is the practice of that if this truth that jesus is supreme and we learned a few weeks ago as we started our study here in chapter 3 that what we must do as believers of god that there must be an out with the old the old way of talking thinking acting speaking and then in with the new pastor greg he elaborated on that last week was when he talked about we have a new wardrobe that christ has given us so that we can look and be more like christ now today today though i have the privilege and opportunity to share with you a word that in the bible starts with the letter s and triggers a lot of folks and that's because i think this word tends to make a lot of people feel uncomfortable and i'm not talking about the word sex or sin no i'm talking about the word submission so thanks a lot pastor gary thanks a lot pastor greg for letting the youth pastor talk about submission but in my submission to them as my bosses i come before you wanting to really help you unpack and understand the idea of submission and how it's so vital to the way that god has called us to live especially in life of christ's supremacy and especially in the context of relationships the most important relationships in our lives and so if you guys have your bibles would you guys turn to colossians chapter three we're going to be starting at verse 18. uh if you guys don't have your bibles and you guys have your apps you guys could feel free to open it up there or you could follow along we'll put the verses up here too but let's take a look at colossians chapter 3 we'll start at verse 18. verse 18 says wives submit to your husbands as is fitting in the lord husbands love your wives and do not be harsh with them children obey your parents in everything for this pleases the lord fathers do not provoke your children lest they become discouraged and bond servants bond servants obey in everything those who are your earthly masters not by the way of eye service as people pleasers but with sincerity of heart fearing the lord and guys what i really want you guys to do here as we pause is take note of what paul does because it's totally revolutionary and different especially in the time of his writing here i've kind of bolded and underlined some of these ideas because look he starts addressing these pairings and take a look at who he addresses first in each of these pairings first its wives then its children and then its bond servants and see this is important because at the time paul's writing the culture and the society they viewed women children and bond servants as things not people they were viewed as property and possessions they had no rights they had no value they were even considered inferior to men but not here paul addresses them specifically and intentionally and he addresses them even first before addressing any other and yet you might be sitting here thinking yeah james yeah he's addressing them but take a look at what he's saying to them wives submit children obey workers or bond servants obey and work and maybe maybe that's why a lot of people want to just steer clear of these verses because here the idea of submission the way that paul seems to present it seems to suggest hierarchy or class it seems sexist it's misogynistic it seems like they are stating that somebody is inferior and another is superior and no wonder maybe people shy away from this idea of submission or just get rubbed the wrong way by it but again i want to remind you paul he's trying to make a point he's talking directly to these people who are usually not talked to but talked about see back in the day when there were the other secular philosophers and they would write about family about marriages about work they would often only talk to and address the men and they would talk about how wives or children or bond servants should act not here no here paul is recognizing that women you as wives especially are crucial members of a marriage children you are important parts of a family and that servant you are a person and your work is valuable and it's meaningful and then if you look he then begins to address the husbands the fathers or parents and the bosses and the masters and in his in his commands here we see that even more so he wants to demonstrate that these people wives children workers that they are of great worth by what he addresses to them and what he commands them so let's take a look at these verses again and let's kind of unpack it colossians 3 18 says this wives submit to your husbands as it is fitting in the lord again wives submit to your husbands as is fitting in the lord and maybe some of you guys in here especially women you just want to shut me down already and i get it i understand but would you just hear me out first would you remember right here and consider this truth that what paul is doing is he is addressing wives he's not addressing women in general he's not saying women are lesser than men and that all women should submit to men no he's specifically addressing the context of this relationship yet i know maybe some of you guys especially wives you're here and you're thinking well submission though that just seems so wrong and so demeaning and maybe it's because of the way that we here in 2021 think about submission and in our culture how maybe we think of like ufc or fighting sports and we think about somebody being forced to submit or because maybe the person that loses or surrenders is weaker or inferior but here i want you guys to understand the word used for submission comes from the greek word who potasso tasso and hupotaso means under and to put order it basically means to arrange under in an order it is to defer out of respect and it's a voluntary act no one forces another person into submission no one says you are to submit because you are lesser or inferior no it's a voluntary act it's a choice it's an empowering it's an empowering statement that paul makes that women you have the choice out of your own will to come under and in this case specifically the leadership of your husband and practically speaking i think of um of driving anybody drive here some of you guys mostly guys all right okay perfect some of you guys do drive have driven or will want to drive soon so let's go over this idea of a stop light and when you guys see a stop light and you see green light what does that mean go perfect which is perfect red light means all right awesome now this is the one i'm a little more worried about yellow light what does yellow light mean see some of you guys i hear you some of you guys are like slow down others go go go go okay i get it but maybe we look at the stop light and sometimes we think of submission like a red light like this is it this is the be all end-all you don't have anything you can't do anything you just stop but i think more more what the idea that paul is presenting here is this traffic sign the yield sign because when you come to a yield sign you have a choice you have a choice whether you can pay attention and listen and yield pause slow down and defer to maybe other cars that are coming onto the same road that you want to go or you can just plow on through and say you know what my way nobody else they have to adjust to me but hopefully if you've ever had that decision you would not just do that why because you don't want to cause chaos and you don't want to put yourself or anyone else on the road in danger and i think this is more in line of what paul is trying to demonstrate here this is more in line what the greek word is trying to mention is an idea to pause and not just go your own way that you as a wife will choose to yield and give way to your husband like a car would yield to another car because why does a car yield because the other car is better stronger faster more expensive no but because those are the rules of the road to keep everyone safe because it provides order it provides protection and safety and it is for the good of that car and all the other cars around and will you remember this that god is a god of order not of chaos he has purpose and meaning behind all of his designs and all of his commands and so that is why wise you should consider this command of submitting to your husband but but will you remember the most important reason again we look at colossians 3 18 and says why submit to your husbands as is fitting in the lord as is fitting in the lord this is why paul is calling you to submit you submit not just for your husband but you submit because it is fitting in the lord see this verse implies that it is fitting for wives to yield and to come under and to defer to their husbands leadership this doesn't mean that wives just become doormats and just be walked all over that a wife shouldn't have opinions or thoughts or have a say no if anything wife should have a say but but what it's saying is would you pause and submit in this capacity see almost in every situation wives are commanded to defer and to yield to their husbands but first by yielding and submitting to the boss the ultimate boston that's christ but but let me be clear here because unfortunately these verses have been misused and used as ways to just lord it over people but no a wife should not submit to a disobedient husband when she or the children or their family are in danger or an abusive situation and if the husband is commanding something that is directly against god's word but in all other circumstances and situations there's no other qualifiers it says wives submit to your husband and again remember you submit not because they deserve it not because they are superior or you are inferior but because of the lord and as you do i believe that you will begin to experience the fullness of his design especially for marriage because when we don't we'll experience hurt we'll experience frustration pain and even chaos see my wife and i actually saw that play out last week see the my wife was getting set and ready last saturday to go to her best friend's wedding it was a friend that she had literally grown up with since elementary school so could you imagine these two young young friends early on dreaming and thinking about their weddings one day they didn't know who they were going to marry but they knew that they wanted each other to be a part of their weddings yet because of the current climate in which we live because of covid they there was a lot of strict rules and protocols that were put in place because they just wanted to make sure everyone stayed safe and felt safe but as many of you guys know my wife darren she's a nurse and unfortunately the week leading up to the wedding she had a coveted exposure now she's okay she's vaccinated she tested a negative twice but man she had her walk through and go through so many different hoops and they were having discussions back and forth because she was supposed to be part of not just the wedding in attendance but part of the wedding as part of the bridal party and so they were talking they were discussing so many emails were sent back and forth for phone calls face times and then the realization finally hit her that there may be a possibility that she wasn't going to be able to attend her best friend's wedding at all and so she was stressed out this was consuming her so much and so she came to me and she said james what do you think i should do she was asking me for my advice and you know what i thought about it and i carefully constructed my words and i thought i gave really good and insightful advice and most importantly i thought i gave the right advice well do you know what she did with that advice she went to her co-workers and asked them what they thought and what advice they would give and so she took their advice came back to me presented to me and in my mind i'm like okay that's good advice too but you know i i still think my advice is a little bit better so why don't you just do this and you know what she did she then called her mom and asked for her advice and said well this is what james says my co-workers and what do you think and then she came back and told me what they said and i was like okay yeah still very good very solid i think i'm saying something pretty similar so why don't you just listen to me and so she said okay let me go ask my sister now and so she went and asked her sister and came back to me and they all were agreeing we all seem like we're on similar pages except for a couple little things but i'm gonna tell you i'll be honest i was starting to get a little frustrated and i was just thinking what's going on why you got to keep asking all these people like i told you what you needed to do i didn't say that out loud but i think my body language and my attitude was starting to show it because you know what she did she broke down and started crying and and we'll both admit she gave me permission to share the story well both of me we started exchanging some heated words and she eventually got to the point where she said hey just leave me alone give me my space and so i may or may not have slept on the couch that night but but i wish i could have told you that sleeping on the couch would have brought me back to my senses that i would have realized that maybe there were some things that i could have done better but no instead what i started thinking about was hey you know i've been studying through this passion passage of colossians and you know what she's supposed to submit to me what's going on here she's not listening to me you know and all i just kept thinking was like you know what she's not acting biblical you know what this is she is the reason we're ending up in this place where we're fighting we're upset and this is just a madness and mayhem and then god reminded me james first of all yes her command is to submit but what are you learning about submission is it that she does just everything that you tell her to do no it's just pausing and yielding don't you think maybe she's actually doing that by actually asking you for your advice oh okay god i get it but still she's mean to me she says some things and now i'm sleeping on the couch whatever but then then god was like and james that's the role that that's what i've asked her to do but what about you you as a husband you have a role too you have something i'm asking you to submit to so husbands hear this colossians 3 19 husbands love love your wives and do not be harsh with them husbands i need you to circle that word i need you to underline that word love because it's so important because it's almost a greater call of submission for us how do i know that take a look at ephesians chapter 5 25 as it kind of describes love and what it really means paul says husbands love your wives as christ as christ loved the church and gave himself up for her see here the word love is not just about feelings it's not just about motion it's just not about passion right because feelings emotions passions those can go away as soon as you start to argue and start to fight but no the word here the the word that they use for love is the greek word agape and agape means selfless sacrificial it's a love that puts others above yourself that's what christ did see is further explained here that kind of love that christ had for us as the church first john 3 16 it says this is how we know what love what agape is that jesus christ laid down his life for us and we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and our sisters see while i was too busy worrying about what darren should be doing my wife should be doing i forgot what i had been called and commanded to submit to loving my wife and loving my wife is so much more than just emotion no if we look at corinthians we see that love is patient love is kind love does not boast it does not envy it's not delight and evil it's not rude it's not self-seeking and yet here i was getting so upset with my wife because she wouldn't listen to me i wasn't putting her knees above my own instead i was just trying to be right and so because of that i sounded like what paul describes in first corinthians 13 1 he says if i speak in the tongues of men and of angels but have not love i'm a noisy gong or a clinging symbol see to my wife i sounded even though i thought i had sound advice what i sounded like was gongs and clinging symbols just white noise because she couldn't hear what i had to say because what i was saying was said without love without any consideration without any care for her instead of being focused on what my wife should be doing i should have been focused on what i been called to do and i'll admit that as i remember this as acknowledged and says god god convicted me of this i i still was reluctant to go and apologize my apologize to my wife i was still reluctant to go and talk to her because i just kept thinking but she was so mean she says some things that man you can't take back no she should come and make it right with me first and then i'll show her some love and then i was reminded wait that's not guppy love that's not how god loved us god didn't say hey you make yourselves right down there before i love you no we're told before we even loved him he got it he loved us and it's so crazy because then when i submitted to god's call as a husband to love my wife and i reached out to her it was so crazy because then my wife her response was what did you have to say again oh that's really good advice thanks for sharing that with me but see we both we both couldn't submit to each other until we first and foremost understood that we needed to submit to god and that's what we did we submitted to the calls that he had put on both of our lives and because of that because of that we came out better and stronger not bitter and weaker and so now if you were to ask myself or darren who's the boss or who wears the pants in the relationship we would tell you that christ christ is the boss of our marriage that he wears the pants and i hope that for you married in here today or listening to me online you will remember that as well but as we continue in colossians we see that paul addresses maybe the next most important relationship in all of our lives and that's family and you know what's funny because after asking my wife about you know who wears the pants in the relationship we also had a discussion about who's the head of the household who's the head of our family and my household is pretty simple it's just me and darren and chase if you don't know who chase is chase is my handsome little fur baby he's my dog i love him so much but you know i figured that maybe at home right that at least in my family i could be boss i can be the head or maybe at least you know if it's not just james darren and then chase maybe it could be like darren me and chase like a and b and then chase but nope because you know what darren said when i told her what i thought the structure was she said come on james we all know it's her then the dog chase and then you like what i can't even be second in my own family oh my goodness but then again as we talked through and discussed what we were learning in colossians we again realized who was the true boss of our family take a look in colossians chapter 3 verse 20 it says children obey your parents in everything for this pleases the lord children are you hearing me are you listening obey your parents in everything for this pleases the lord some of you guys are thinking well who's children well the greek word used here for children is a general term for children and it's not limited to a specific age group okay but it likely refers to any child still living at home or under the parental authority and guidance of their of their mother and father or any parental figure so please consider that my friends that are young adults or college students you may be an adult but if you're under your parents authority consider what christ has called you to do obey your parents in all things now all things yes if if we take a look at that inc encompasses everything except as we can consider the context of all scripture of course unless it's against god's will against it's contrary to god's law and let's take a look at the reasoning and the motive behind this again children is it because your parents deserve it is it because they know better most of you guys are like no my parents don't know anything they don't deserve my respect why should i listen to them they don't even care about me or understand me and i get it but remember your motivation to obey them so much deeper and so much greater because here in colossians 3 20 it says children obey your parents in everything for this pleases the lord for this pleases the lord see i forgot this as a child especially during my teen years and and you know what i remember growing up and i would start going to my going to church in middle school and high school and i started really devoting my life especially my high school years to god and i got sold out for him i just loved attending church and at church man you know what i was like a golden child and i don't say that just pridefully i say that because one year i got student of the year award and they gave me a nice little plaque it said my name and so i remember taking that home and showing my parents and you know what my parents said who did you steal that from i was like what are you talking about i didn't steal that from nobody this is mine like no there must be another james oh at that church because the james oh that is here at home with us he's rebellious he's angry he's rude my mom had a nickname for me mean james right because she said you know what james you're so mean always mean my korean temper was at its worst at home you know oftentimes i would just argue with my parents especially about church you know because here's the truth of the matter though it's because i wasn't the very best student i was lazy i didn't do my work i often cut corners and so because of that it reflected in my grades and my parents were like hey we need you to be better hey we know you are more capable of better won't you please do better and maybe they were saying maybe some ways that you can do that is by maybe not spending so much time at church maybe you could cut back on some of those activities and my response was like leave me alone i'm doing this for the lord he's my boss you're not my boss don't tell me what to do i'm listening to god i'm obeying god that's why i do it but honestly i wasn't i was just being rude and defensive see in that point in my life my call from the lord was to be a student and to be a child that obeyed their parents they weren't telling me to do anything against god's will but what i was trying to do in my anger in my rudeness and my rebellion i was just trying to justify my behavior and i was reasoning it in such a way to just do the things that i wanted to do by saying i was doing this for god but if i was really doing it for god if i was really trying to please him then i really would have obeyed my parents and hey parents i know maybe you're tempted to be like if my kids sitting next to me like oh you hear that you got that or maybe some of you guys are thinking oh man i'm going to find a way to send this to my child they need to hear this but parents you're not out of what christ has called for the family to obey to parents would you hear the command that your boss has for you colossians 3 21 says fathers do not provoke your children lest they become discouraged don't provoke your children or they will become dishearted see and the word father here is just something i want you guys to note of in the greek it could be interpreted as parents so moms don't just be like see jazz be like no parents in general don't provoke your children don't provoke your children in such a way where you instigate them and you work them up you annoy them and frustrate them to the point of anger and rebellion or even to the point of being disheartened and discouraged and parents we can do this in a variety of ways yeah we can do it by being nagging and overbearing but we can also do it by being really selfish and overprotective we could do it by showing favoritism to our kids we could do it by being condescending to them but guys as a youth pastor can i tell you some of the ways that i've seen it you could do it by being a parent that sets unrealistic and unnecessary expectations for your children to bear other ways there's a lack of affection there's a lack of attention lack of provisions another way parents there's a lack of standards or rules or even discipline in the house because maybe some of you guys just want to be liked by your kids we want to be your kids friends and so somehow some way you have let them become the boss but no parents will you recognize your role as parents that you are to be the parents to your children but maybe it's not a lack of discipline but maybe it's over discipline but will you hear why paul says this to you parents don't provoke your kids because they can become disheartened or discouraged you know discourage child as someone that just loses heart they feel so beaten down that they've lost hope and motivation and they just don't care anymore one bible kind of translate this verse in this way they could become discouraged and just want to quit trying so you could have kids that quit trying quit caring to follow you but most importantly quit following christ parents will you always remember that is more important for your kids to get into heaven than harvard some of you guys are too focused on your kids experiencing and having a good life than having eternal life see parents because take a look ephesians chapter 6 verse 4 it says yeah do not provoke your children to anger but it also gives this added command it says bring them up in discipline and instruction of the lord discipline even christ says he disciplines those that he loved that's what god says because he loves someone he will correct them in the right way because of love for them and so parents we are to discipline and we're also to instruct but we do it very caringly and knowingly of our children we're not just telling our children because they're just people that have no thoughts or feelings or opinions and just do as we say but no we care we are considerate we don't provoke them but our call is to instruct them and to discipline them and basically simply put it could be it could be thought of like this do not bring them down do not beat them down and provoke them but instead raise them up and build them up with instruction with discipline now i'm so thankful that my parents did this to me even as i was a child that wasn't perfect that had rage that was mean james they always still encouraged me and i'm so thankful for that and yet there were ways that they provoked me one was a lack of attention some of you guys might know but my parents they were immigrant parents and so they had their own business and because of that they worked long hard hours to make a living for our family but you know what what i saw was a lack of affection what i saw was a lack of their presence in my life and especially with my dad and so i was provoked to want to never ever listen to him i never thought that he cared about me why because he was never there for me and yet there was a point later on as i got older i had a conversation with my dad and you know what i shared with him about some of these hurts and these struggles and how it was really hard to want to even obey him because of these things and you know what he said to me said james i know i'm not perfect but i'm so thankful that even though i made many mistakes trying my very best you still turned out pretty good and i got to tell you guys that inflated me that built me up that breathed life into me and parents you have that opportunity to do that for your kids will you also see that discipline and instruction that was your primary responsibility parents not just the churches not just the teachers and so will you take more of an active role in your kid's life and love them encourage them and build them up not provoke them and tear them down but children remember your call is to obey them and to listen to them why do both sides do that because the ultimate boss and the head of the house is christ so here we've seen that christ is the boss of marriages christ is the boss of the home now we move on to work and darren has told me and made it very clear that i'm not the boss of any of those things so far maybe work no of course not because there's pastor gary the best boss ever right and so no just kidding he's the best boss but both pastor gary and i we recognize that there is a greater boss that we must consider especially in this idea of work take a look at colossians 3 22 says bond servants in everything those who are your earthly masters not by way of eye service as people pleasers but with sincerity heart fearing the lord tells us then work hard and maybe some of you guys hear this but you're like wait wait wait wait wait james james just back up let's not over let's not skip something is paul kind of implying that slavery is okay is he condoning it no there's nowhere here or in all of scripture that condones that but but instead what i want you guys to maybe see is that while paul is not calling for a revolt to these things i think there's a few reasons why number one back then this idea of masters and bond servants they looked a whole lot different than what we know as slavery today and what we have seen in recent history see roman slavery back in those times wasn't racially based now back in those times most slaves or most servants they chose that for financial needs and security and that's why oftentimes these verses are referenced toward work but if you also notice they said earthly masters and so that's why it could be also used in the context for us some of us as students and teachers or athletes and coaches people who have earthly responsibility and authority over us but two i also believe that paul was sharing this and not calling for all these different things to happen why because paul was calling them to be new people from the inside out because if you look through all of verse 3 the practicality of christ being supreme was that it wasn't just changing superficial things or outward things but it was changing things from the inside out see i don't know if any of you guys are guilty of this but i am all the time sometimes when i pray and i ask god it's usually asking him to change my circumstances when reality i should be praying god would you change my character and that's i believe what paul is trying to encourage don't focus on these systems and these things that maybe you can't change and won't change you in your lifetime but maybe focus on what you can control and that's you and your attitude and so here paul acknowledges these servants he recognizes them he humanizes them and he does something grand and great because back then people didn't even look at slaves as real people but he's saying no they're real they're valuable and they have purpose and their work is meaningful and so with this in mind would all of us if we have some sort of authority over us whether it be a boss or teacher or a coach would we consider how we've been called to work the ways that we have been called to work is not with eye service or for people pleasing and see sometimes for some of us when we work we only work hard when the boss is around but when the boss is away we start to play right kind of reminds me of driving again um you know my wife will tell you i'm not the best driver and so when we're driving together uh you know i'm not always always listening as best as i can or paying attention but all of a sudden i will suddenly sit up straight i i will slow down a little bit i will wait a little bit longer at stop signs when i see a car with maybe some red and blue lights around right and my wife will always ask me what are you doing and i'm like do you want to see there's somebody there like i got to drive like this she's like why don't you just drive like that all the time i'm like oh you're right i know i get it and that's true i should be driving like that all the time and in the same way paul is saying hey remember don't work in such a way where you're just kind of doing your own thing but all of a sudden when people are looking you try to appease them or please them but no you work with your best and you work with your all but most importantly you work genuinely and heartfelt and with love with love but james you not know what i do i don't know what you might do but this is what i do know colossians 3 23-25 says this whatever you do work heartily as for the lord not for men take a look whatever you do work hardly as for the lord not for men again that's our motivation knowing that from the lord you will receive the inheritance as your reward you are serving the lord jesus christ right the lord christ for the wrongdoer will be paid back for the wrong he has done and there is no partiality we're told here whomever our boss is whomever our authority figure is whomever our earthly leader is in this type of context we should listen and work to them how heartily with all of our heart but i want you guys to see that the original word here comes from the word psyche which means soul and so implies that whatever you do whether it's cleaning toilets taking out the trash obeying your parents punching in numbers at work taking phone calls and doing data entry that seems so monotonous and so boring or whether it's real estate nursing or pastoring it doesn't matter whatever it is do it all for jesus and do it with all of your soul this is so so powerful why because i think this will help us all realize because maybe some of you guys are sitting here saying my work i need something else because i need more meaning in what i do i need to do something more meaningful would you guys see that because of who we do it for no matter what we what work we do it's meaningful because we're doing it for the king of kings and the lord of lords that there is no nothing jobs no instead they're all noble for there for jesus the one who is supreme and the one who is king so instead of maybe saying i need a new job to find meaning and what i do no would you find meaning in what you do by doing it for the boss the true boss and that's jesus and then he gives us some reasons why this is so important because one he says while your earthly bosses might not always be watching i'm watching you i see you i see all things and so for those that are working hard are trying their best and not getting that recognition god's watching he sees it no good deed or hard work goes unseen the lord knows and he will reward and know that you're doing it for him but this also serves as a warning for all of us who are lying lying cheating being lazy at our work because we also are told he's watching he sees you and you're going to be held accountable and so with this in mind this is the call to work with all of our soul and all that we do because christ is our ultimate boss but hey for any of you guys that are managers or bosses or people in positions of authority teachers or coaches god has a very straightforward command for you he hasn't forgotten you he says to you in colossians 4 chapter 1 masters masters treat your bond servants justly and fairly knowing that you also have a master in heaven so no matter who you are you could be jeff bezos the founder of one of the biggest and largest companies out there you could be steve ballmer an owner of a nba basketball team with has tons of employees and be one of the richest men you could be pastor gary the best boss ever it doesn't matter every single one of them has a greater boss and he tells them hey treat your workers treat those that are under your authority treat them justly treat them fairly treat them like humans not human tools but also treat them the way that i your boss treats you so to kind of hopefully help us grasp this and to kind of bring it all together i don't know about you guys but i'm a visual person and so i'm going to put up this visual for you guys but here we're told and we're reminded through all of colossians 3 that whether we are wives children or workers students athletes whether we are husbands fathers parents bosses or any earthly authority figure right we all have the same boss and we're called to submit to him none of us is greater or inferior to the other we're all the same and we all have the same boss and so if you guys are taking notes and if you want to write this down this is something that i hope that you guys would take away from our dive into colossians 3 today is this jesus is the boss of all relationships jesus is the boss of all relationships if jesus is supreme if he is king over everything then he too should be the boss of our relationships maybe instead of taking advice from other people maybe instead of looking to yourself as being the boss or confined fighting between you and your wife or your spouse about who is greater who is worth would you consider who really is in charge and that is christ and remember who you are who you are and remember who he is and remember what he's called you to do which means leads me to our second thing in response to him being the boss would you submit would you submit this is a call for all of us to submit submit to what christ has called you to do submit to what christ has called you to do don't make this message about others you know earl you know actually yesterday when i shared this message one of my middle school students came up to me and said pastor james that was good i'm gonna tell my dad to listen and i was like that's great that's awesome but at the same time like hey well you're told to obey your parents too right don't make this message about what other people need to hear or do focus on what you control and that's yourself that's your response and your response is to submit the way that your boss the real boss has called you to submit to and then finally give it your all from all of your soul give it your all because it's all for jesus give it your all because it's all for jesus do it all for jesus you know who this reminds me of i don't know if you guys know him or not brother here at our church by the name of mark anderson you might have seen him he usually does parking but when i first met mark anderson it was out on the baseball diamond i was doing softball i was taking batting practice and you know i was out there swinging away and then all of a sudden out in the outfield i hear this man you know better for jesus better for jesus and i was like who is this crazy for jesus who is this great okay whatever you know but he kept saying that later on when i made my way into the field and took some grounders next thing i hear is yeah feel for jesus feel for jesus i was like this guy cannot be real and then all of a sudden i saw him at our church league our church basketball league and i remember just shooting a shot and he was like james said you shoot her for jesus shoot her for children who is this god that has so much joy and is making it all about jesus well it's mark anderson and he doesn't just do it out on the basketball court or the sports arena but even here at church he'll be doing something like parking and he'll be sending people into their parking spot and he'll be like parking for jesus parking for jesus he'll see me and he'll hear that i'm speaking and he's like yeah preacher for jesus right and you know i got to tell you initially i thought it was weird initially it kind of took me back and i thought no way this guy can be real but when i got to know him then everything truly is about jesus and he has this great joy whether it's out playing sports doing something like parking and serving or just encouraging a friend he's always making it about jesus and that we can find and have that same joy when we realize who we submit to who the real boss is and why we give it all that we got because it's for jesus so whether your wife your husband whether you are a parent or a child whether you're a worker a student or a boss or a teacher or any anything of those categories would you do whatever you've been called to do and do it all for jesus he makes it all worth it but he also because guys he's our perfect example of this i mean think about how jesus modeled this for us right we're told that jesus loved us and loved the church so much that he what gave up his life for us he calls the church's bride he gave up his life for his bride and then we're told that jesus the son of god even though he's equal with god he submitted to his father in heaven and told him not my will but your will be done and then jesus the king of kings the lord the lord who is supreme our boss in everything we're told that he left heaven to come to earth to become a servant to all and the beauty of jesus is he doesn't just tell us what to do but he shows us what to do first because what did he do he got down on his knees he got a towel wrapped around himself and began to do what was considered at the time the lowliest of jobs for any group setting he began to wash his disciples feet because as he put it he came not to be served but to serve and he told his disciples he said hey a servant isn't greater than his master and yet here i am your master serving you and what was this call now you go and do likewise and you will be blessed when you do you know i heard from a parent when i told them about this topic they're like hey how come you didn't teach my child that i was like i did teach your child that they just didn't listen don't be like that today will you hear the heart of christ and remember who's really the boss in all these relationships don't make it you the boss don't make it the other piece person in the boss don't make your feelings the boss and say no i can't because i feel this way or don't even make your reasoning the boss no this is where faith steps in and we say no out of faith even though i don't understand even though i don't get it even though it doesn't feel right jesus is boss and so i submit to him and we submit to him the way he's called us to submit by obeying his commands and then what do we do like mark anderson we do it for jesus let me close our time in a word of prayer god thank you so much for giving us these instructions not to insinuate some groupings better or stronger or more inferior or superior than the other but god to give us a blueprint of how we're to experience these awesome relationships in the healthiest of ways but god in order to do that we must recognize that jesus is supreme and that means he's the boss of everything even our relationships and so god i pray that we would make this message personal that we wouldn't make it about others and what they should do and how they should act but we would respond by doing and submitting the way you have called us personally to submit and that when we do god we will do it with all of our soul because it's all for you jesus we pray all these things in jesus name amen

Channel: sbcclive

Views: 340

Rating: 5 out of 5

Keywords: South Bay Community Church, South Bay, Torrance, southbaycc, church message, church sermon, sbcclive

Id: iKFFkumk4pE

Length: 54min 57sec (3297 seconds)

Published: Sun Sep 05 2021