Codependency and Complex Trauma - Part 2/10

but last week we started a new series on codependency and what I said in that opening talk on that was in my experience as an addictions counselor one of the main causes of things that lead people to a relapse is they get into a relationship that becomes a that is a codependent relationship and before we know it they have become back into kind of addicted to a person and all of their addictive behavior and all of their old ways of doing things kick in and before you know it they're all messed up inside and they end up relapsing to the drugs or alcohol so it is a huge issue that many in recovery have to deal with if they ever want is stay clean and sober but then I said beyond that I don't think codependency is properly understood until people understand the complex trauma component and that to me is significant because one of the symptoms of complex trauma is it sets people up to become codependent which means it sets people up so that their relationships aren't healthy and end up failing so that's why I want to do this series is because it's such a big issue for people in recovery it's one of the most common questions that I receive from clients when they are thinking about their recovery and so tonight I want to take it a little bit further and what I want you to understand upfront is that when I say codependency I have a spectrum in my mind so there is kind of mild codependency to severe codependency so you might say I don't think I'm codependent because I'm not in severe end of the spectrum but you might have some of the more mild parts of codependency that still can get you into a lot of trouble in a relationship so taking that what I want to talk about tonight is the more severe end of the codependency spectrum and when you get to the more severe end of the codependency spectrum a word comes into play that has become a very popular word and it's called narcissism and so when you are in the more severe end of the codependency spectrum there's usually a narcissist who's part of that relationship but what I want you to understand a night is in order for our narcissist to be in a relationship there's got to be a Co narcissist and I will explain that in a little bit and my hunch would be that most of you here would either fall in the category of a narcissist or a co narcissist now they're supposed to be on the back of your handout a test that you can take to see if you're a narcissist or Co narcissists and then so don't do that when I'm talking because I want you to listen and I don't want you all of a sudden getting super depressed or super angry or just stomping oak because you're mad I didn't admit that the test it is produced by the American Psychological Society as what they use to measure narcissism and Co narcissism okay so let me now take that back to complex trauma what we have seen is that complex trauma is living in danger basically all the time so you are constantly in survival mode what happens when you're in survival mode is that you have to make your needs and your survival more important than the needs of others so you put yourself in a narcissistic place your needs now matter you now matter more than anything else in the world now what happens in one event trauma is it in survival mode fight flight freeze you put your needs and yourself at everybody else until the danger passes and then you come back down the feeling and acting equal to everybody and you enter into loving relationships again where you value them and they value you just as much the tragedy of complex trauma is you're constantly living in danger so you're constantly living with you mattering more than anybody else so complex trauma sets you up to become a narcissist that's what you had to do to survive now I'm not beating you up by saying that I'm saying that's what survival mode that happens 24/7 looks like your needs have to become more important than everybody else so complex trauma is the birthplace of narcissism okay now let me take that a little bit further the other effect of complex trauma is that the child is abused abandoned or neglected and they conclude it's their fault so it develops shame so the greater the abuse the greater the neglect the greater the abandonment the more the child takes home the message and personalizes that I must not matter at all I must be totally unlovable I must have zero value and they develop this belief about themselves that they are not good enough they're less than so the greater the trauma the greater the shame now with that in mind what I want you to understand is that narcissism is a response to severe shame so when a person is in a place where they feel totally like they're nothing because of severe trauma they have severe shame that is no fun to live with who wants to walk around saying I suck I'm useless nobody everybody should know I'm totally unlovable and have zero value no that is just way too depressing to live with that is just way too painful to live with so the brain begins to develop ways of trying to get rid of that so narcissus to understand it correctly it is the brain doing everything possible to either deny that it has any shame at all or to overcompensate and feel that it doesn't have any shame so it tries to disprove that there's any shame at all and tries to prove that it has great value that it is totally loveable and it goes to the place that I'm better than everybody so narcissism comes out of complex trauma as a response to severe trauma and severe shame that's what I want you to understand upfront now let me take it a bit further so response number one to severe shame is the narcissus I am better than everybody and the way I will make my life is that I will try to be the center of the universe and everybody needs to revolve around me because life is now going to be all about me so there you are center of the universe everybody is now in an orbit around you taking their cues from you about how they should act what emotions they should show and making sure that you're happy okay so that's how codependency begins okay now what you want I want you to understand with that is that narcissism is like a big monster that needs to be fed all the time so a narcissists need somebody adoring him all the time that's how he's fed so guess what that creates is what we call a Co narcissist or a mirror or an echo that reflects back to the narcissist you're wonderful I adore you you're such a beautiful person and the narcissist is getting fed so narcissists don't go into relation chips with a healthy person who's not going to feed them they go looking for a co narcissist who will feed them and reflect back to them like a mere how wonderful they are that is the co narcissus narcissus thing now what you have to understand about the Co narcissist is they walk around saying I'm awful I'm terrible they don't try to compensate for their shame they give in to their shame and they are depressed they are feeling terrible about themselves they hate themselves they live with that feeling all the time guess what they want a narcissist to be the Sun of their world who comes in and shines their light on them and says I like you let me help you I'll fix you and they go oh I do have value this important person just noticed me and wants to help me and now you have the Sun and the planet working beautifully together that is a narcissist and that is a co narcissist okay let me take that a bit further so that's goes beyond just the couple okay so there you are the son of the universe everything has to revolve around you the co narcissist says let me take care of your emotions you're sad let me make you happy you're angry let me fix your problems you're in trouble let me make all your bad consequences go away and they give up all their rights they make all kinds of sacrifices to keep the Sun of their universe happy because they can't be happy unless the Sun is happy and that's codependency okay but it spreads beyond the couple to the family so now what you have is a narcissist who abandons and neglects and abuses everybody who doesn't give them what they want so they are this black hole just sucks everything but they're never satisfied and so the children get neglected because the narcissus is all wrapped up pursuing their selfish endeavors the children get abandoned or abused if they don't cooperate with the narcissists well children don't like living like that that's painful so children in their own mind are trying to solve the family problems that arise when a narcissist is the son within the family system and so children will adopt different roles to try to fix the family and to try to make the narcissist happy and so each child will try different things as a way to solve their family problems and to try to get the narcissist to meet their needs and validate them and not neglect them or abuse them so that's where you get the child that says I'll be a hero I will be the perfect child I will never cause problems I will do extra chores I will get straight A's at school I will never get into a fighter in trouble I will do all kinds of things extra around the house just to make everything run smoothly trying to solve the problem then you get the comedian child who says there's a whole lot of pain in this family the way to solve it is to be funny and laughing all the time so I'll be the jokester the comedian the storyteller and I'll make everybody happy and that'll fix our family and then the invisible child says I'll have no needs I will fade into the background I'll never ask for anything I'll hide out in my room so that I don't add any extra stress to this family because it is not in a good place so each child can try different ones they can try all three most will settle in on one but what they're going to find as they get order is it didn't fix the thing the narcissist wasn't happy the narcissist didn't meet their needs the narcissist didn't validate them and they took it personally and developed their own shame and said it's my fault I'm the problem and that creates the next set next generation of codependent people okay so that's how it begins now I'm going to give you a very psychological analysis tonight to see if you're a narcissist okay so if you were to go to the DSM or the diagnostic manual that is used to determine narcissists and look through the literature around how can you tell if a person's a narcissus you would come up with these 18 criteria you don't have to meet all 18 but you gotta meet at least half of them okay so here we go a narcissist if you don't know what a narcissist where it comes from let me quickly give you the backstory it comes from a Greek myth so back in a long time ago in Greece before there were ever mirrors you never saw a reflection of yourself and so one day this guy named narcissus he goes out to get a drink of water at the pond and it's nice and calm that day and the sun shining just right and he looks into the pond to get a drink of water and he sees his reflection and he goes that is the handsomest guy I've ever seen in my life I fall in love with you I'm coming back every day just to look at myself and admire myself and how beautiful I am that's where narcissism came from that's the idea okay so number one they believe they are special and unique which means they think they're a little bit better than everybody else but the reason we say they think they're special is they think they can only be understood by special people so what that means is if you call them on your stuff they have a comeback that says you don't get me because you're not special only the right people understand my greatness so they have that system in their mind second thing deep down they may not say it they might say it but they do believe they are more important than other people that they're smarter more capable better in every category almost next they exaggerate their achievements so they didn't just catch a fish this big they catch a fish this big right so you get that kind of exaggeration that takes place and they expect to be recognized by you as being better than you so they expect you to look up to them and kind of adore them and stand in awe of how great they are in their private fantasy mind they have fantasies about how powerful they are and how powerful they're going to be and how successful they are and how attractive they are and they can sometimes play in their mind that person said hi to me today they must be in love with me and they can just start playing with that in their mind and developing a fantasy that everybody loves them because everybody said hi to them and that's where they go like I said they have an insatiable appetite for attention praise and admiration they always are looking for a pat on the back for validation now I'm not saying you should never give people a pat on the back because we should that's part of being healthy you validate people on their what they're doing a narcissist just wants it constantly they're always looking for it and then in their own mind they think everybody's jealous of them they think everybody wishes they could be like them and that again is in their own deluded fantasies a key thing to understand about narcissus is they're all about image so they don't feel good enough inside but they'll never admit that so they base all of their value on their image so their focus is looking good okay so they do that through a couple things they associate with a high status person so if you're a very good-looking woman and you've been with them narcissist at some point you've wondered I think I'm just a trophy on his arm that he wants me on his arm because I make him look good he doesn't really care about me he just cares that I make him look better than if he didn't have me so that's what narcissists do and then if it's not a woman then they want to say I know the president of this and I know the president of that and they drop names and they try to hang out and go for coffee with very influential people because it makes them look good okay then they try to control how you think about them so if they do something that maybe wasn't appropriate they now will send you emails to explain away what they did and to tell you what you should conclude about them so they put a lot of energy into managing their image and trying to control how other people think of them then arrogance or they're just their noses a little bit in the air a bit of snobbishness is there now have you been in a relationship with a narcissist that you understand this next one they must never be wrong because their image says you they always have to be right so if you are in a conflict with a narcissist they will never admit they're wrong but rather they will take what happened and twist it to make you wrong and they will take what you say and twist it to make you wrong so what I say to people don't argue with the narcissist because the more you try to convince them of your truth the more they're gonna twist what you say and use it against you because they must never be wrong and then at first a narcissist can act very caring but as their true colors come out you find they don't really have much empathy or care for other people's needs or feelings at all rather they're it's all about me causes them to feel very entitled that you owe me special treatment you have to meet all of my needs I don't have to meet any of your needs so a relationship with the narcissus is never giving 50/50 it's always lopsided you're doing the majority of the giving they're doing all the getting and that is their sense of entitlement then they don't think rules apply to them so they live by a double standard rules apply to you but not to me I can go through your phone you can't go through mine so rules don't apply to them they're the exception in their mind to every rule don't know how you're scoring yourself so far but I'll keep going what I mean by they're exploitive of others is this narcissists are all about manipulating you to meet their needs narcissists don't know how to love people they just know how to use people now in their minds they're being loving because they're giving their kind in the early days but what they're really doing is grooming you they're giving to get they're playing a long game where I'll give give give give till I've got their past their defenses and their guards and they trust me and then I'll get so that is the manipulation that happens inside of a narcissist now to help you understand that when a person has a lot of shame deep down that they've never acknowledged they're pretty sure that if people get to know them nobody will ever want to meet their needs so the only way they can get their needs met is not to express them but to learn how to manipulate people to meet them and so narcissists become master manipulators they can get so good at manipulating sometimes you're not even aware that they're manipulating you usually there's always a hidden agenda that's happening when you're working with a narcissist and when you first meet a narcissist and they say tell you about tell me about yourself and you pour out your heart and tell you tell them everything about yourself gives are they're doing they're taking notes oh yeah here's where I can manipulate them I got their hot button now I know what to use if I want to get something badly they're taking notes on you they must feel control and they must always get what they want now this is important to understand from this perspective narcissus can be the sweetest nicest people in the world 99% of the time until they don't get what they want and then you got World War 3 they explode and there is hell to pay to anybody who has crossed them so what I'm saying is this narcissus can act very healthy until they're triggered and it's those triggers that reveal their true colors they can no longer hide their deeper stuff once they get triggered the masks come away and they come out so some of the main triggers for narcissists are perceived rejection so if you reject them or say no to them watch out not getting what they want not getting enough attention you're not feeding me enough or anything that messes with their image so what happens if they don't get what they want or they get triggered usually they go to anger and then they get cruel abusive they last show they say extremely hurtful things and they can be very destructive just that one trigger can set off a whole lot of painful things and they can do that and not even have a conscience about it so you often don't know a person's a narcissist until one of their triggers get triggered and then their true colors will come out another characteristic of a narcissist because they always have to be fed is they have a lot of jealousy issues what happens in extreme narcissism a relationship with them the only way they can be convinced that they're the son of the universe is that there's nobody else in the universe but you so they get rid of all your friends they get rid of your family and they demand your full attention and they're jealous if you talk to anybody else if you go to an activity somewhere without them jealousy kicks in and they get really cruel when jealousy kicks in and their control issues go up a notch extreme sensitivity and a tendency to be easily hurt to feel rejected over the slightest little things so if you're with a healthy person it takes a lot to really make them feel hurt by something that you might do a narcissist they feel hurt when you've hardly done anything because they pick up hurt easily because of all of their shame issues but then as soon as they feel hurt guess whose fault it is it's not their issues it's yours and they think you're just selfish okay and then they need a mirror they need that constant reflection now let me just say this so that's the 18 characteristics if you had all 18 of them you need to talk to me afterwards and go to react hmm I'm not here to beat up narcissist because what happens what kind of environment creates a narcissist severe trauma specifically severe narcissists come out of homes where one of the parents was a severe narcissist who belittled them and abuse them and put them down and was cruel to them non-stop and the only way the child could survive was to become a narcissist and so it is an extreme response to extreme cruel treatment and that is the birthplace of narcissus okay let me in with this so those are the 18 characteristics now there's three different types of narcissus okay so number one is the one we normally think of which is an exhibitionist narcissus so that's a person who's outgoing and is always talking about how wonderful they are they're great greens or great accomplishments and letting you know how wonderful they are we're all familiar with that with the exhibitionist arsonists what they also do is they put everybody else down a little bit or a lot so they build themselves up put everybody else down positive to themselves negative about everybody else okay the next one is called a toxic or malignant narcissist and that goes a step further so they put themselves up puts others down but here's the next part they're sadistic they feel alive when they cause pain to other people they love being cruel and hurting people it's the bully that just keeps a kid and treats them cruelly every time and just thrives off of causing pain to other people that's the exhibitionist arts aren't not yet that's the toxic narcissist now goes a little bit further the toxic narcissist loves to create chaos so they go into a situation and they go this is way too boring and way too normal and healthy let me see if I can just stir it up a bit and get everybody mad at everybody and everybody's stressed out and I'll sit back and enjoy the show that's a toxic narcissist final one the covert narcissist and that is the person you don't even think so narcissist because they're so quiet they never put themself out there they're shy they seem depressed and they seem to hate themselves and you go how could that be a narcissist that's the co narcissist so here's what I want you to see do you realize that what the co narcissist is doing is saying please make everything all about me if I love you enough and sacrifice for you enough will you make your world about me for a little bit and so they give and give and give hoping to someday be the center of your universe that is the covert narcissist or they say to a narcissist an exhibitionist arsonist narcissist not a narcissist can I hang around with you like the moon and will you just reflect your greatness off of me and let me enjoy it that's the covert narcissus they're still giving to getting there's still narcissistic you just don't see it until they're in a relationship for a long time wanna have a relationship with God it really gets in the way of having that relationship with God and so what I said is that when I deal with people coming out of addiction and complex trauma probably 25% of the people I deal with have got what we call spiritual abuse and that is that some place in their life they were made to feel that God was not safe God was a dangerous God and that people who represented him weren't safe either and so that is a huge issue for some people that is very hard to get over because of some of the stuff that they get told so I said I wanted to talk about some of the common distortions that people have so last week we talked about God's anger and a lot of the distortions that have really messed up a lot of people and said I don't want any relationship with this God tonight I want to talk about maybe one of the hardest to explain things and I hope I can do a decent job I'm going to illustrate it next week just so that hopefully it just helps it make sense a little bit better but it's you if you go to churches you don't have to go very long before you hear God's in control okay and then you hear God's King God's sovereign and so that phrase gets thrown around a lot within the Christian world but what concerns me is that there's been a lot of sloppy thinking about that and it has turned a lot of people off of God so let me explain some of that sloppy thinking so the first one is this I had people come to me clients and say if God's in control why didn't he stop my uncle from sexually abusing me if he loves me like he says he does and he's King and he's sovereign in control he could have stopped it so the fact that he didn't stop it he's either an unloving God or he really isn't in control and so they then go I don't want a god that was in control supposedly and didn't stop bad things from happening and then they hear through it through the ears that go are you saying to me that it was God's will that I got sexually abused are you saying to me that it's God's will that these children and war-torn countries get slaughtered in a genocide how can that be God's will so you can begin to realize that if you stop and think about God is in control all of a sudden you go whoa what does that really mean because if it means what some people are saying it means then I don't want anything to do with that kind of a God and so then some people say God's in control so I'm just gonna sit on my couch and wait for somebody to phone me and offer me a job it's like I can be either a puppet on a string or I don't have to do anything God will do everything for me so that's another area of sloppy thinking so I want to try to help you think about that and again it's one of those topics in the Bible that we are given some answers to but there's still an element that we can't quite get our brains around there's still a mystery element to it so that's what I want you to understand upfront is even after I'm done explaining if I do a perfect job there's still a part of you that's gonna say my brain hurts because I can't quite get that figured out okay so let me tackle up this whole topic when we talk about God being in control and whether we have free will or not let me give it to you this way if God was creating us and wanted a relationship with us do you realize that God could have said I know how to get them all to love me and do what I want and to spend time with me I'll make them robot I will give them no free will I will program them to show me love and to show me kindness but do you realize that when a robot shows you loving actions it doesn't feel loving because it's a robot so love only is meaningful if it comes from freewill where it comes from a place where I could love a whole bunch of other things but I choose to love you so the only way that a meaningful relationship with God could happen is if he gave us free will and a whole bunch of options of other things we could love and then in that environment we looked at all those options and say you're more beautiful than all of them I choose you then that is meaningful love okay now think about that in the terms of complex trauma or gang activity I ask clients is all the time what is the best way to get your child to obey you scare them to death put the fear of God in them make them afraid to disobey you do you realize that fear of disaster is the best motivator to get people to do it you want that's what happens in the gang world that's what happens in the street-level world is people obey the gang leader because they're afraid of not obeying the gang leader so it's obedience based on fear it's love what looks like love based on fear but you realize that's not true love so what I say to clients all the time the best way that motivate children in the long run is not fear because after a while they'll rebel if you use fear the best way in the long run is to just love them and you go that's no guarantee they're gonna bait me right away but once they know they're fully loved and they live within that love then they want to obey you not to earn not to avoid getting punished but to give back the overflow of the love that you've poured into them so love becomes the bay to produce love and somebody else that you give free will fear does not produce genuine love in somebody else and so God said I'm going to create a world where love will be the most important thing now let me take that a little bit further do you realize that the greatest pleasure in life comes from a love connection the problem of complex trauma is you didn't get that growing up so you've never experienced the highest pleasure that is humanly possible to enjoy so that's why drugs and alcohol become so attractive because they give a pleasure that is close to that but not quite as great as that and you just keep going back to that because it makes you get all of the feelings that love was supposed to get and connection was supposed to get and so what God is saying is I want to create a universe where love is the dominant thing because then as people connect with each other and with me in deep honest intimacy and love they will enjoy the highest pleasure possible I want people to have my happiness my joy is what he is saying and to do that I have to give them free will okay so you follow all that so far I hope so then it goes further how does God act as the king of a universe of a galaxy of this whole big thing that we call our planet Earth God rules by what we call a first cause primary cause or secondary cause so a primary cause is when God does something directly so he created directly okay he turned water into wine directly he was actively involved in the immediate behavior which produced the immediate result okay that's the first cause so God created the world and he's following some big plan that we don't fully understand but that that's the first primary cause secondary cause is within the world God gave to other forces number one us with freewill so you can go home and smack your kid nobody can stop you okay and then the second type of secondary cause is natural laws gravity is there the weather all of the different tides and currents in the ocean are all part of that bacteria and viruses they create all kinds of things so they are things that cause other things and I'll just stick with me and I'll explain it so let's say a person is on a roof and they slip and they fall and they fall twenty stories and they fall to their death now do you say God did that know God was not the primary cause of that person slipping gravity did that and we acknowledge that there's a secondary cause in the world that God initially put in place but God's not walking around saying if you slip I'll catch you and I'll overcome gravity he lets the secondary causes happen so somebody sneezes on you and you get sick did God make you sick no a virus made you sick so that is kind of how all of that happens now let me take a little bit further what God did when he created the world and put all these secondary causes in place is he says I acted as a primary cause to create this now I will sit on my hands and let these other causes secondary causes carry on okay so I'm not going to stop global warming I'm not gonna stop glaciers melting I'm not going to stop hurricanes from happening all of that is going to happen as people make decisions as weather takes follows it's patterns I'm going to let all of that happen I will not interfere with the second Darry causes that I have put into place okay now let me just pick a little side note here how many of you have gone looking for a parking spot downtown and you say god please give me a parking spot and you go around and there's a parking spot and you go it's a miracle it's not a miracle somebody just moved out a miracle by definition is when God interferes with the secondary causes and interrupts them so he turns water into wine that would not happen by the secondary causes it only would happen if God reasserted a primary cause force in the world okay so a lot of the things that we call miracles are just the result of secondary causes they're not technically miracles okay that's my little rant with that okay so let me take that further and this is where it gets painful okay so God said I will put secondary forces I will sit on my hands and not interfere so people can abuse this world and there will be droughts and there'll be hurricanes and global warming and all of that I will not interfere you're getting a Hitler and he's going to come along and he's going to want to rule the world I'm not going to interfere even though six million Jews and all kinds of other people are going to get killed I will not interfere a father's going to sexually abuse his daughter I will not interfere I will let that happen and the consequences of that happen because you see if God said I will interfere every time something Bad's about to happen then he takes away free will and then he takes away the consequences and he becomes codependent and he says you could do all the bad you want I just won't let any bad things happen God says no in order for this to work I have to sit on my hands and not interfere with the secondary causes now it doesn't stop there because if it stopped there you go that is I don't like that you know God said is you know what I'm not gonna wait for you to love me I created the world I created secondary causes I made it possible for people to use their human will in a harmful way and hurt other people and I'm not going to interfere but here's what I'll do I will come and I will come on this planet as a human being I will love you and come beside you I will experience all the secondary causes and the abuse that they have I will go through illegal trial I will go through torture I will go through every pain at a deeper level than anybody else has ever experienced it I will go through it all out of love for you and then when you go through it I will come beside you and say I get your pain and I will be able to comfort you and help you in your pain so you will experience my love not from a distant God but from a God has gone through the same things you did who understands who cares and who comforts you there but then it doesn't stop there he then says I will take that bad that that person did and in a way you'll never be able to understand I will somehow bring a positive out of it and that's Romans 8:28 where God says I will take everything that happens to those who love me everything good everything ugly everything wrong and bad and I will turn it into a positive thing in their life to make them a better person if they cooperate with me so I will not let that negative stuff that other people perpetrated perpetrated on you I will not let it keep you in a place of negative if you surrender to me I will turn it into a growth thing and into a positive and that's the story that I want to tell you next week but what I want you to hear tonight is this how does God rule the world not through coercive force but through love and it's not just love from a distance and say love me love me like a narcissist no it's God saying let me first love you greater than you ever will be able to love me and let me do that by making the greatest sacrifice imagine I'll be from moving from being God infinite to a human being you know what that would be like that would be like you one day saying I think I'm going to spend the rest of my life as a mosquito because I want to help these mosquitoes they are vicious creatures especially in Manitoba and they need a lot of work on them to become nicer creatures so the only way I can do that is to become mosquito myself you can sign up over there if you're interested you're going what there's not a hope I'm gonna be a mosquito but God said I'm gonna become a human and for the first time my life I can I knock I'm not going to stay up forever I gotta have a sleep for the first time I got to eat and I'm gonna get hungry and I get tired boy that's gonna be hard being that little wee human being and I can only run about ten miles an hour and I can only walk so many miles a day and I can only talk to one person at a time and when I see God in heaven I could talk to everybody all at once it was not a problem wow that's a restriction and a limitation that is super hard but I can stop there I'm going to go through every single type of hurt and pain that they've gone through I'll get abandoned I'll get rejected I'll get forgotten about I'll get abused I will get injustice I'll go through it all at the worst possible level because now I understand their pain and now when they're in pain I can meet them not out of coercive force but out of love and that is how God rules the world hope

Channel: Tim Fletcher

Views: 187,303

Keywords: ptsd, Narcissist Relationships, rehab, Complex Trauma, online counseling, Narcissist Mirror/Echo, mental health professional, Co-Narcissist, Relationships, mental health, counselor, addiction center, findingfreedommedia, CPTSD, Codependency, Narcissist, Codependent Relationship Patterns, addiction, findingfreedom, Narcissism, addiction centre

Id: WyxPVcw2ZLw

Length: 49min 6sec (2946 seconds)

Published: Sat Jun 01 2019