Translator: Mannen Asefa
Reviewer: Denise RQ How dark is the color of its skin? As that will define its struggles within. "Is it a boy or is it a girl?", is asked. As if to define its life's task. Will it stay or will it go? The answer, its parents need to know. From the day that it was born its very essence, society scorned. From birth, society coded
its future to doom. It hacked the code and redirected its future to zoom. Silent, it could never be, because it, ladies and gentlemen, is me. (Applause) One of the most precious commodities
we have is our identity. By that I mean the way we see ourselves
and the way we assess our self-worth. At a young age, I discovered
that society had predetermined codes that were used not just to identify us, but were used to determine who we are,
and who we were going to be. These codes were arbitrary
and limited one's potential. I decided I was not going
to be molded by, limited by, or controlled by
these codes or identifiers. My parents were teachers. One very important lesson they taught me
is the importance of respect. Having self-respect. And then you can respect others. My father always said,
"To thy known self be true." So at the age of 19, I disclosed to my parents
that I was a lesbian. My father, a religious man, responded with unconditional love
and respect. My mother, also a religious woman, responded quite differently. Mommy's concern was more about appearances and her religious convictions. Her response included demeaning, minimizing, and hateful discourse. Because of this, I decided
to terminate contact with my mother. I didn't see or speak to my mother for two, actually it was
almost three years. During that time, I later learned my mother educated herself
on the code "Lesbian" and with my father's help, she was able to overcome her intolerance
and reach a place of respect. And only then were we able to reconnect. You see, equal treatment entails
not treating each other differently. My mother has four children. To have accepted mother's position
regarding my being a lesbian would have required that I accept
a less stand position with my mother that my other three heterosexual siblings
did not have to accept. And remember the teachings of my parents? I couldn't do that because then,
that would mean being disrespectful to me. Respect does not mean agreement, acceptance, or tolerance. Those concepts makes us feel
as if we have to give up something in order to engage with someone
with a different belief or value system. Respect actually means
it's OK to disagree. However, it's the manner
in which the disagreement is handled that's important. It should not include
demeaning, minimizing, or hateful, or any such type
of discourse or interaction. I love my mother, and today, we have a very wonderful,
loving, respectful relationship. And she is here tonight. (Applause) Ladies and gentlemen, I respect an individual's
position and views on any and all aspects of me. All I ask is they respect my position
to respectfully disagree. A few months ago, I visited home, and I went to church with my mother, and a woman at church was struggling
with my being a lesbian. And she said,
"I am going to pray for you" (Laughter) "and I'm going to pray
that you find a man." (Laughter) My heterosexual cousin got upset
with the woman and then got upset with me
for not getting upset with the woman. Now, Ladies and gentlemen, why would I get upset with this woman when she was doing two things
that I thought were wonderful? First of all, this woman thought enough of me
to include me in her prayers. (Laughter) Thank you. (Applause) And then she thought enough of me to pray
for something I actually needed, a man. Thank you again. Because you see,
my wife and I are busy professionals, and we have plenty of chores. (Laughter) (Applause) And any help we can get
is truly appreciated. (Laughter) Respect yourself
and earn the respect of others. The courts grant privileges
that are not earned. The codes come with messages, some subtle, others not so subtle. Messages such as,
"Who do you think you are?" "Know your place," "Go back to whereever you come from," "Watch your back." And the list goes on and on and on. The codes and their messages
work like this. Can you think of a positive meaning
for the word black? Or a negative meaning for the word white? Let me know when you think of one
because I couldn't. You see, black means - ah. Check the dictionary -- black means, "dark, dull, dreary, deadly, sinister, dangerous." White means, "light, bright, [fair], neutral, colorless, pure." Now if white is pure,
then everything else is a thing of color. So, African, East Indian, Asian, Hispanic, indigenous people, people of mixed races; to include mixture with white
you are a person of color. The code and its messages work like this. I was not to be a college graduate. Why? Because I am black or a person of color. That is code for uneducatable. Not educated, not educated enough, or not well-educated. Translation:
not qualified or not well qualified. You're told, you're not experienced
or experienced enough. A lighter-skinned person is deemed
capable before even starting a task. Where as a darker-skinned person
is deemed not capable and has to prove his or herself. There are lessened expectations. Less pay is given. And less pay,
ladies and gentlemen, equals less say. So the code says, black person or person of color,
you need not apply. I was not to be a lawyer, why? Because I'm a woman. My priority in life is
that of mother, caregiver, nurturer. I am presumed not to be able
to give 100% in the work place because my place is in the home. My priority is predetermined by my gender. The woman is told even though
she is educated or well-educated she is not qualified
or not qualified enough. Or she doesn't have experience
or enough experience. In many countries,
including Trinidad and Tobago, women have graduated with college degrees at a higher rate than men. Yet, that fact hasn't correlated with women achieving positions of power
and influence in the workforce at the same rate. This fact can also be seen
in the inequities that disproportionately affect women. And you've heard some of them: poverty, health, and violence. The code says, "She's weak or weaker," less pay is given,
and less pay equals less say, and less say means less power. The code says,
"Woman, you need not apply." I was not to be a judge, why? Because I am outsider,
an immigrant, a foreigner; same thing. Here, you're more likely to be educated,
qualified, and experienced. But you're told,
you have not been here long enough. But what does here mean? You haven't been in this position,
in this country, in this organization long enough. A few years ago, before becoming a judge, I applied for a supervisory position. I was told I was the most qualified
and experienced applicant, yet, I did not get the position. When I asked why, I was told,
"Because I had not been here long enough." But what does here mean? And I was told, "I hadn't been
in the office long enough." I accepted the response,
until the very next day I was asked to perform the duties
of the recently promoted supervisor. And when I asked why
- check this out - I was told
the recently promoted supervisor did not have the experience
and qualifications yet, and was being trained. Less pay is given. And less pay equals less say. So the code said, "Outsider,
foreigner, immigrant; you need not apply." I am a criminal. Why? Because I'm a lesbian. Just like that. My qualifications, education,
and experience do not matter. I don't matter. Just like that. I am subject to society's scorn. Unequal and discriminatory treatment. I can be sentenced
for over 20+ years for being a lesbian. Interestingly, if I am murdered
for being a lesbian, my murderer can get less time. The code says, "Lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgendered individual; you need not apply." There may come a point in your life where your identity is attacked. Don't react by throwing a tea cup,
a saucer, or a plaque. (Laughter) (Applause) Those actions may be seen as criminal when your true intent is to be treated
and seen as an equal. We are human beings
with many, many differences, and believe me Trinidad and Tobago, I understand your concern
about appearances. But imagine just how powerful and empowering
our interactions can be if we can see and treat each other on any and all issues respectfully. "IT" stands for Identity Transcendence. It entails claiming your identity and charting the course of your destiny. So if you, my fellow citizens,
truly believe that here every creed and race
can find an equal place stand up with me for equality
in all its forms for all. We have differences,
but we are not truly different. We have the ability and the power to crack these predetermined codes, and we can claim our identities and chart the course of our destinies, and we can do it standing side by side. Thank you. (Applause)
