Chris Pratt's Wife Wasn't Into His Love-Making Mixtape

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WELCOME BACK TO THE SHOW. FOLKS, FOLKS, YOU KNOW MY FIRST GUEST FROM PARKS & REC, JURASSIC WORLD AND NOW HE'S RETURNING AS STAR LORD IN GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOLUME 2. >> YOU KNOW WHY, STAR MUNCH, I DID IT BECAUSE I WANTED TO. WHAT ARE WE EVEN TALKING ABOUT THIS FOR? WE JUST HAD A LITTLE MAN SAVE US BY BLOWING UP 50 SHIPS. >> HOW LITTLE? >> LIKE THIS. >> A LITTLE 1 INCH MAN. >> WELL, IF HE GOT CLOSER I'M SURE HE WOULD BE MUCH LARGER. >> THAT IS HOW EYESIGHT WORKS YOU STUPID RACCOON. >> DON'T CALL ME A RACCOON. >> I'M SORRY, I TOOK IT TOO FAR. I MEANT TRASH PANDA. >> IS THAT BETTER? >> IT'S WORSE, IT'S SO MUCH WORSE. >> Stephen: PLEASE WELCOME CHRIS PRATT. (APPLAUSE) . >> Stephen: THANK YOU. >> A, THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE AND THANK YOU FOR THE HUG. I WASN'T SURE IF WE WERE GOING TO GO FOR THE HUG, I WENT FOR THE HANDSHAKE, YOU WENT FOR THE HUG. I DON'T WANT YOU TO THINK THAT I DON'T WANT TO HUG YOU. >> YOU DON'T-- . >> Stephen: I DO, CUZ I FEEL LIKE, THE STRANGE THING ABOUT CHRIS PRATT RIGHT BEFORE HE CAME OUT HERE. THIS WILL BE FUN, I KNOW CHRIS, CHRIS AND I ARE FRIENDS, NO, I MET YOU LIKE THREE TIMES. >> OVER THE COURSE OF MANY YEARS THOUGH. >> Stephen: BUT I FEEL LIKE I'M YOUR FRIEND, AND I THINK THAT IS YOUR MAGIC AS A PERFORMER, AS ANDY OR A STAR LORD, I KNOW THAT DUDE, I HUNG OUT WITH THAT DUDE. >> THANK YOU, I WILL TAKE THAT AS A COMPLIMENT. >> Stephen: IT IS A COMPLIMENT, LIKE ARE YOU TOTALLY. >> AND I FEEL THE SAME WAY ABOUT YOU. AND YOU ARE RIGHT, WE HAVEN'T SPENT TIME AT EACH OTHER'S HOMES. I DON'T HAVE YOUR CELL PHONE NUMBER OR ANYTHING. MAYBE THAT COULD CHANGE. >> Stephen: YOU WANT THAT. >> I THINK EVERYONE SHOULD GET STEPHEN'S NUMBER. (APPLAUSE). >> Stephen: SUPER EASY, SUPER EASY TO MEMORIZE. >> DO I SHOW THE CAMERA? >> Stephen: WHAT? >> DON'T HOLD THAT UP. ONE AT A TIME. >> Stephen: BUT WE DID, WE DID A-- BEFORE WE DID THE STRANGERS OF CANDY MOVIE BACK IN 9 DAY. I REMEMBER THERE IS THIS YOUNG KID WITH ALL THIS ENERGY AND YOU CAME BACK IN THE MIDDLE OF SHOOTING, YOU WENT OUT TO CALIFORNIA AND YOU CAME BACK, I MIGHT BE SUPERMAN, IT WAS A-- THAT SUPERMAN, THAT ERA. AND I THOUGHT I COULD TOTALLY SEE THAT GUY AS A SUPERHERO. >> CASTING DIRECT DISER NOT AGREE. >> Stephen: BUT THEY WERE WRONG, BUT NOW ARE YOU, THE ULTIMATE SUPERMAN. STAR LORD, YOU KNOW. >> IT JUST GOES TO SHOW, YOU KNOW, IT'S ALL DIVINELY PLANNED. SO IF IT'S NOT WORKING OUT IN THE MOMENT, JUST HAVE FAITH THAT IT IT CAN, IT MIGHT WORK OUT IN THE FUTURE AND THE NOS THAT YOU GET TODAY MIGHT MEAN AN EVEN MORE POWERFUL YES IN THE FUTURE, DO YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? >> Stephen: I DO. I DO. I THINK, IF I'M-- IF I'M HEARING YOU CORRECTLY, YOU ARE SAYING THAT GOD WANTED THE GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY TO BE MADE. LET'S JUST LEAVE IT THERE. >> YEAH, I'M WITH IT. HE IS A BIG FAN. >> Stephen: YEAH, WELL, EVERYBODY. THIS IS A HUGE MOVIE. AND NOT JUST LIKE UNITED STATES HUGE, THIS IS LIKE CHINA HUGE AND LIKE BRAZIL HUGE. >> YEAH. >> Stephen: AND JAPAN, EVERYWHERE WE OWE MONEY, HUGE. SO WHAT IS IT LIKE FOR YOU TO GO ANYWHERE IN THE WORLD? DOES EVERYBODY KNOW YOU NOW AS STAR LORD? >> WELL, YOU KNOW, I'M NOT SURE I HAVE THE BEST GAUGE BECAUSE WHEN I GO TO PLACES, IT'S NOT AS IF I'M GOING TO TRAVEL. I'M REALLY GOING TO PROMOTE A MOVIE. I LIKE TO SAY I'M NOT NECESSARILY TRAVELING SOME WHERE IT'S MORE I'M SHIPPED SOMEWHERE, YOU KNOW. AND WHEN I ARRIVE, THE CITY WE'RE ARRIVING KNOWS WE'RE COME SOG THERE WILL BE PEOPLE AT THE AIRPORT DRESSED UP, LIKE THE GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY. I THINK I HAVE A SKEWED PERFECT-- PERSPECTIVE. IF I JUST WENT SOMEWHERE ON MY OWN WHICH I REALLY HAVEN'T BEEN ABLE TO DO IN THE LAST COUPLE OF YEARS BECAUSE WE HAVE BEEN SO BUSY. I DON'T THINK IT IT WOULD BE SO HEIGHTENED. BUT I GET THEY ROLL OUT THE RED CARPET WHEN YOU ARRIVE. >> Stephen: IT IS THE UNBOXING. >> SHOW UP, AMAZON PRIME ON TIME, TWO DAYS. GET YOUR MONEY BACK. >> Stephen: WELL, SO IT IT IS YOU WILL KAD GUARDIANS OF THE GAL OOKSY VOLUME 2. >> VOLUME 2. >> Stephen: IT IT CALMED THE SAME THING EVERYWHERE YOU GO OR IS IT LIKE STAR CLUSTER CARETAKERS OR BRADLEY COOPER'S HIDDEN KA RON FACE-- RACCOON FACE WHAT IS IT CALLED? >> WE DO HAVE-- THERE'S ONE CALLED THE-- I BELIEVE IT'S IN MANDARIN, IT'S CALLED LIKE THE SILVER RIVER PROTECTION TEAM, SOMETHING LIKE THAT. >> Stephen: I WOULD WATCH THAT. >> I WOULD WATCH THAT. >> Stephen: SILVER RIVER-- BECAUSE THEY CALL THE MILKY WAY THE SIFERL RIVER. >> THAT MUST BE-- IS THAT WHY? >> Stephen: I JUST MADE THAT UP. >> IT IT MAKES SENSE. >> Stephen: I'LL ASK NEIL. >> NEIL WILL KNOW. >> Stephen: WILL TOTALLY KNOW. OR HE WILL MAKE IT IT UP. >> AND IN ANOTHER TERRITORY WE WERE YOU WILL CAD THE UNUSUAL INTERGALACTIC FIGHTING FORCE. SOMEWHERE ELSE, I DON'T KNOW, BUT ESSENTIALLY IT'S THE SAME THING. >> Stephen: HOW OLD IS YOUR SON. >> FOUR AND A HALF. >> Stephen: WHAT IS HIS NAME. >> JACK. >> Stephen: IS HE IMPRESSED THAT DAD IS STAR LORD? CUZ YOU HAVE ACTION FIGURES AND YOU HAVE THE BIG SUMMER BLOCKBUSTER. >> NOT AT ALL. >> Stephen: DOES HE KNOW, YOU HAVE TAKEN. >> HE KNOWS. HE DOESN'T CARE. IT'S WEIRD, OH, MAN, I WANT TO BE THE COOL DAD. BUT HE JUST IS-- HE I DON'T KNOW IF HE IS ALOOF OR WHAT, I WILL SAY HEYS MAN-- . >> Jon: WELL, FOUR AND A HALF YEAR OLD, I'M SUPERALOOF. >> I SAY LIKE WHAT DO YOU THINK, BUDDY? DO YOU LIKE GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY. >> YEAH, DAD. >> WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE SUPERHERO? >> SPIDERMAN. >> HUH. YEAH, RIGHT, OF COURSE, EVERYONE LOVES SPIDERMAN BUT IF WERE YOU TO SAY IRON. >> IRONMAN. HMMMM, OF COURSE. LET'S SAY NONAVENGERS. >> D.C.? >> SAY STAR LORD. >> YOU'RE NOT A SUPERHERO. >> Stephen: THAT'S GOOD, BECAUSE YOU WANT HIM TO THIFER YOU AS YOUR DAD NOT AS A GUY ON THE SCREEN. >> I GUESS SO, I GUESS SO, IT IT SHOULD FEEL GOOD BUT IT IT HURTS. IT HURTS. >> Stephen: WELL, YOU'RE HONEST. YOU'RE HONEST. >> NO. >> Stephen: YOUR SON IS SAYING I LIKE THAT CHRIS PRATT, IT'S LIKE HE'S MY FRIEND. >> HE IS LIKE YOU KNOW WHAT, I ALMOST FEEL LIKE I KNOW YOU. >> Stephen: SO YOU AND YOUR WHOLE FAMILY,ANA FERRIS YOUR LOVELY WIFE AND YOUR SON JACK. YOU GOT A STAR ON THE 408EEWOOD WALK OF FAME, CONGRATULATIONS. >> THANK YOU. YEAH. LOOK AT THAT. >> Stephen: WHAT DOES THAT FEEL LIKE? >> IN THAT MOMENT RIGHT THERE, IT FEELS REALLY NICE, BEING ABLE TO SHARE IT IT, A MOMENT LIKE THAT WITH-- I FEEL LIKE IF NONE OF MY FAMILY WAS THERE, I WOULDN'T REALLY FEEL ANYTHING. BECAUSE I THINK THAT'S THE NATURE OF THIS-- THIS KIND OF TIDAL WAVE THAT HAS HIT MY LIFE IN THE LAST YEAR AND A HALF OR SO. OR LIKE A HURRICANE OR SOMETHING. YOU JUST HUNKER DOWN AND THERE'S A LITTLE BIT OF CALM IN THE MIDDLE. AND EVERYTHING IS GOING WILD AROUND YOU. AND ARE YOU LIKE, IT DOESN'T EVEN FEEL THAT WINDY AND YOU SEE A SIGN FLY BY, I THINK WE'RE GOING TO BE OKAY. AND YOU SEE A COW FLY BY, YOU KNOW. AND IT'S IN THOSE MOMENTS WHERE YOU HAVE YOUR FAMILY, YOUR FRIENDS, WHERE YOU ACTUALLY STOP FOR A SECOND AND ENJOY THE MOMENT, BECAUSE THEY'RE HAVING A MOMENT AS WELL, YOU KNOW, WITH YOU. YOU SHARE THE MOMENT SO YOU KIND OF BECOME PRESENT IN THE MOMENT AND THAT'S REALLY NICE. AND THAT STAR IS TWO BLOCKS FROM AN APARTMENT I LIVED IN, ABOUT 12 YEARS AGO, A REALLY, REALLY PRETTY DUMPY APARTMENT. AND THAT AREA HAS CHANGED A WHOLE LOT SINCE I MOVED OUT OF THERE. IT HAS REALLY BECOME MUCH NICER AND STUFF. I USED TO WALK RIGHT OVER THAT SIDEWALK. >> Stephen: WHAT WERE YOU NEAR, ANYBODY GOOD? >> I'M NEAR KELLY RIPA. >> Stephen: THAT'S GOOD. >> THAT'S PRETTY COOL. SO WHEN PEOPLE COME TO SEE KELLY RIPA THEY WILL WALK RIGHT OVER ME. >> Stephen: WE HAVE TO GO IN A MINUTE. BUT BEFORE WE GO, THE MOVIE HAS GOT AN AMAZING SOUNDTRACK JUST LIKE THE FIRST TIME, LIKE VOLUME ONE. MAKING A MIX TAPE FOR SOMEONE IS REALLY INTIMATE. >> YEAH. >> Stephen: DO YOU MAKE MIX TAPES FOR YOUR WIFE ANNA? >> YOU KNOW, I DID ONCE. I DID ONCE, I DID ONE FOR MY BROTHER FIRST. AND IT WAS AN '80S MIX, SONGS, CALLED I GUESS HAD TO BE THERE, MIX, SONGS THAT JUST WORKED. I KNEW THEY WOULD CREATE THE SAME MEMORIES, CONJURE THE SAME MEMORIES, IT WOULD BE SENTIMENTAL FOR HIM, I GAVE IT IT TO HIM. HE CALLED ME, BRO, I'M CRYING. AND I'M LIKE I'M THE MIX TAPE GUY. I AM GOING TO DO ONE FOR ANNA. AND I MADE ONE FOR HER AND I PLAYED IT AND I WAS THINKING IN MY HEAD, LIKE, THIS IS GOING TO BE OUR LOVER-MAKING MIX, YOU KNOW. AND THE FIRST SONG I PUT WAS-- . >> Stephen: GOOD TIP. >> WELL, I THOUGHT-- I DECIDED TO PUT AL GREEN. >> Stephen: SURE, LET'S STAY TOGETHER. >> AND YOU KNOW, I THINK IT'S-- YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, GIRL-- I'M SO IN LOVE WITH YOU. ♪ AND. I WISH, I WISH SHE REACTED THAT WAY. SHE WAS KIND OF LOOKING AT ME AND I COULD TELL RIGHT A WHAT, BIG MISS, BIG MISS. IT'S A LONG SONG. AND I WAS LIKE-- WHATEVER YOU. >> WHO ARE YOU? YOU DON'T LISTEN AL GREEN, WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO PULL. SHE IS LIKE WE'RE ALREADY MARRIED, IT'S COOL. I'M GOING TO GIVE IT IT UP. AND THAT WAS THE FIRST SONG AND ONLY SONG WE GOT THREW AND I THREW IT AWAY. I WAS SO EMBARRASSED, IT WAS CRUSHING-- . >> Stephen: WAS THE SONG IT LONG, WERE YOU SAYING. >> FOR ME IT IT IS THE WRONG HUMPING TEMPO. >> Stephen: WRONG WHAT? >> THE WRONG HUMPING TEMPO. >> Stephen: WHAT DO YOU LIKE, WHAT DO YOU LIKE. >> I NEED SOME EDM, NO, JUST KIDDING. >> Stephen: GOOD GALLUP OVER THERE. Z WELL, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY, VOLUME 2 OPENS FRIDAY, CHRIS PRATT, EVERYBODY. WE'LL RIGHT BACK WITH NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON. THANKS, MAN.
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Channel: The Late Show with Stephen Colbert
Views: 2,813,598
Rating: 4.935832 out of 5
Keywords: The Late Show, Stephen Colbert, Colbert, Late Show, celebrities, late night, talk show, skits, bit, monologue, The Late Late Show, Late Late Show, letterman, david letterman, comedian, impressions, CBS, joke, jokes, funny, funny video, funny videos, humor, celebrity, celeb, hollywood, famous, James Corden, Corden, Comedy
Id: jNQD95rRilg
Channel Id: undefined
Length: 10min 36sec (636 seconds)
Published: Tue May 02 2017
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