Chasing vs Pursuing... (DON'T CHASE!) | Courtney Ryan

hi everyone welcome back to my channel if you're new here i'm courtney bryan and today i'm talking all about the difference between chasing versus pursuing so a lot of you guys make the mistake of chasing women who want absolutely nothing to do with you it's a waste of your time and i would not recommend any of you do it so i've done an entire video all about why you shouldn't chase women but today i'm going to specifically talk about the difference again between chasing and pursuing because i think a lot of people don't know and find themselves in tricky situations that they wish they weren't in because they don't know the difference pursuing a woman is incredibly masculine and sexy and girls love it however you don't want to cross the line and enter into chasing territory because this is the opposite of pursuing it's not sexy and it will actually probably push a woman away so i'm going to highlight the differences between both and then give some examples that will hopefully help you guys out okay so what is chasing chasing is desperate you're chasing her attention interest or validation and none of it is often being reciprocated so you might think i need her to like me and you come across very desperate and needy in your chase and the reason why this is such an issue is because you're chasing someone who is not interested in you that is why it's called chasing when you're chasing something it means that it's running away from you or it doesn't want to be caught which in return is just a complete waste of your time chasing is also very one-sided so most likely you're not getting anything in return from her and you would kind of categorize yourself as a simp at this point you guys know that i don't love the terminology and the manosphere but i think in order for it to make more sense it is important to kind of highlight what that really looks like so you know you're going out of your way to do things for her and she doesn't even text you back or you text her back a bunch of times and she never replies to you unless she needs something or she's made it very clear that she's not interested in you yet you keep trying to win her over by buying her nice stuff or taking her out on expensive dinner dates hoping that it will win her over when in reality she's probably just using you i don't mean to say that as a way to bash women because i think there are a ton of really wonderful women out there but a lot of women these days will often take advantage of the men who do this chasing because they know that they can weasel whatever they can out of him and chances are he's going to do it so you never want to be the guy that's chasing the girl the same way i would not tell girls to chase guys i think it should be a mutual you know pursuing and respect between the two of you and if you're not seeing that or you're not receiving that then you have to be able to walk away so another main difference between chasing and pursuing is that someone who is pursuing has the ability to walk away because they respect themselves someone who is doing the chasing just sees the prize and they're going after it and don't know when to remove themselves from that and often end up wasting a ton of time becoming bitter resentful and not getting what they want anyway so knowing when to walk away knowing when to remove yourself is key so on the flip side there what is pursuing pursuing is patient it's showing interest and being okay regardless of the outcome you might be consistent but you're not rushed so you might say something like i'm interested and i want to see where it goes versus the guy who's chasing saying i need her to like me so the chasing is kind of the scarcity mindset going in you know automatically thinking this girl has to like you because she's your only option and then pursuing is kind of the abundance mindset where you're going in thinking you know this is just an opportunity to get to know someone let's see where it goes i'll be fine regardless of what happens so you're pursuing someone you're interested in versus with chasing you're chasing someone who isn't interested in you so i hope that that kind of highlights the difference between the two often pursuing is reciprocated to some extent even if it's not in the beginning you you walk away if it's not being reciprocated so you don't even get to the point where nothing is being reciprocated for you because you've removed yourself at that point the second you see it happen so pursuing is being patient and not so needy and clingy but also knowing when to walk away which is something that i think a lot of men have problems with is they put all their time and effort and energy into this one girl we might call that one itis right but they don't know when to remove themselves so they end up wasting their time they end up being sad and disappointed even though maybe this girl told them in the beginning i'm not interested in you they want to change their mind and actually a lot of women do this as well with men so they'll go after a guy who is clearly not good for them or emotionally unavailable or whatever the heck it might be and they they try to win this guy over by thinking they can change him or be the one to change his mind or make him act a different way when in reality it's just a huge waste of your time because if that person doesn't want you you can't change their mind and you shouldn't want to change their mind you should want to be with someone who wants to be with you so that is the main difference between chasing and pursuing is just knowing when to walk away and understanding that you know when you're chasing someone you're chasing someone who is clearly not interested in you and you want to avoid doing that and i know i've done a whole video on it but i really just wanted to break it down here the reason that none of you should be chasing is as simple as this and i know i said this earlier but i really want to reiterate this so you guys fully understand what i'm saying if you're chasing someone it means that they are running away from you or they don't want to be caught why would you want to chase something that does not want to be caught i know it might feel cool it might feel like oh my gosh when i catch this it's going to be awesome but if it doesn't want to be caught it doesn't really matter what it's like when you catch it because you're going to be disappointed anyway on the flip side to this if you are chasing someone because they are playing silly little games with you play stupid games win stupid prizes that's pretty much all i have to say about that i don't think that games are necessary i don't think that you should even waste your time playing games with people if a girl is playing games with you i think it says all you need to know about her and unless you're looking for something toxic or maybe just a hookup or something then you know you do you if you're looking for a healthy relationship or something more serious i would highly encourage all of you to stay away from all of the stupid games it's only going to leave you feeling like you wasted your time exhausted probably because who the heck wants to do that from the very beginning you're just like setting yourself up for disaster so just some quick little examples of chasing would be number one you initiate every or almost every conversation number two you ask her to hang out after she's canceled on you four times already guys come on number three you pedestalize her this is just setting yourself up for disaster nobody is perfect and if you treat someone like they are chances are they'll walk all over you so don't do this and number four you try to impress her with maybe excessive gifts praise compliments etc to win her over plain and temple guys if the only way you can win a girl over is by spending all your money on her or buying her luxury cars or bags or apartments or whatever it might be really take a step back and think about do i want to be with someone like that some of you might say yes and that's totally your preference it's up to you it's your life not mine so you do you but really think about that some examples of pursuing might be number one you're intentional number two you see her as someone who would enhance your life not be your life and number three you respect her but also respect yourself enough to see when things aren't being reciprocated so it's very clear the difference between chasing and pursuing and i hope that you guys can see that you all deserve to be with someone who reciprocates your time effort and energy and if that is not being reciprocated you have to have to have to be able to remove yourself because if you're unable to do that it means that you aren't respecting yourself and probably not ready for a relationship anyways so once you kind of lay everything out and put them side by side i think it's very easy to see the differences between the two if you guys have any questions down below or specific scenarios that you would like me to help you out on of course you can comment down below on the video and i can do my best to get back to your comment or a lot of times other guys will often come to the rescue and try to give their honest feedback as well so if you guys like this video or found it helpful be sure to give it a thumbs up and subscribe to my channel to be in the loop for when i release new content if you haven't already be sure to follow me on instagram courtney christine ryan i love connecting with all of you guys on there as well as always thank you all so much for watching and i will see you all next time

Channel: Courtney Ryan

Views: 233,153

Keywords: Courtney Ryan, Chasing vs Pursuing, Chasing Girls, Pursuing Girls, Should I pursue her, how to pursue a girl you're interested in, don't chase anyone, alex costa, alpha m, darius m, alexander grace, charisma on command, teaching mens fashion, dating advice for men, attracting your crush, is she interested in me, dating tips for guys, stop chasing her

Id: 6CTmXJDtrg8

Length: 8min 11sec (491 seconds)

Published: Sun Oct 03 2021