Charlotte | Bad Therapy Experiences

have you had any good therapy like good experiences with therapists when i got to la i did yeah i think it was because i was more receptive to it as well um like i was aware of how shitty i was being to people because it was like hospitalization after hospitalization after hospitalization and to the point where they're like well why do you think you've had so many consecutive hospitalizations and i'm like why don't you tell me like how would i know i mean with psychologists and psychiatrists they can really they have to be careful i don't know if they know that but they need to be really careful because like with social workers they're coming at it from a more compassionate angle but from like if it's a psychologist they're coming at it from more of like a surgical angle i think and one of them like the first one that i went with she had a um [Music] a plan in place because she was actually really nice but i didn't find this out until you know like she had um i just gotten out of um beth israel and i went straight to her office because that's what she wanted and then two of my friends was there and and i don't even know how this was legal and like so they were there and then she like sat me down and told me this thing and i wanted to leave the office and they wouldn't let me leave like stood up and she was like no you need to stay here. and i felt like a caged animal and i grabbed a um like there were two things that i knew would hurt this therapist one of them was the laptop and one of them was a like an hourglass and i just like knew like i don't know it's like i just knew that if one of those two items would hurt her like not hurt her physically but like psychologically hurt her like if i broke them so i took the hourglass and i threw it at the window and then she called the police and then i was taken down to madison avenue in handcuffs and then immediately like hospitalized again and i was like don't take me to beth israel because i had just gotten out and everybody had been hugging me and like we're so glad you're better and like and then i was like don't take me there so then they took me to bellevue and then i was there for three weeks like and so and then i had a good psychiatrist in bellevue and then after that i had other ones and then you know like what happened at new york presbyterian and those were social workers and i asked one of them i didn't ask i demanded that she call 9-1-1 and she hung up on me like that's like i'll never forgive her for that ever like i never reached out to anyone that wasn't a friend and asked for help and then i was like you need to call 9-1-1 and then she hung up on me and she wasn't my she wasn't the person who was supposed to be treating me like my person was on vacation and like i'll never forgive her for that like ever like that like we're taught about this in school if somebody needs help like if we [ __ ] up we can ruin their entire perspective right of like a treatment team like ruin it and i never went to anybody after that until i got to la and then i was kind of like i was still mad about it and then that's when they put me in dbt but like even like that social worker she's the best one i've had up until i got this one but i mean it was like one bad experience after another and maybe it was my fault but not with all of them but like maybe it was my fault for not going into it as but in the beginning i was like okay this is it this is going to make me better and then i'm like in handcuffs on madison avenue and then i think my entire i think my entire just perspective of it all just went downhill significantly after that and so and then this thing happened with 9-1-1 i don't know if she got in trouble i hope she got in trouble like that's so unethical and she single-handedly [ __ ] up my entire like i didn't seek help at all after that and i think you actually because i'm pretty sure i overdosed after that and i didn't ask anybody for help like you know about it you knew about it like but i wouldn't like i yeah i didn't call 9-1-1 like i wouldn't like i really wanted you to i really wanted yeah but i and like imagine like going in like open-minded like oh like this is good this is gonna help and then one [ __ ] treatment team after another like really [ __ ] up and i'm just i mean like even with the really great the really great one there's like confidentiality agreements like i don't think i should have been able to go to her office and have two of my friends sit me down in there and then tell me i can't leave the office my vein is popping out okay anyway let's proceed

Channel: BorderlinerNotes

Views: 18,008

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Id: 2pvB_b5yHo4

Length: 5min 7sec (307 seconds)

Published: Fri Dec 03 2021