Charlie's date - Milk steak!

all right listen you got to be on your toes tonight okay this chick's a lawyer she's going to be pretty sharp so stick to the game plan okay she's a lawyer I like that he's sweating through his shirt dud I I know listen do you remember your backstory no you don't remember listen you're a philanthropist that's what you are okay you used to own a small business but you gave all that up to help others right right now who do I help who am I helping it doesn't matter I don't know old people uh children autistics uh dyslexic fol doesn't matter I'm a [Music] I can't get it how do you say what is it philanthropist in the god what is that what was that is that cheese have you eaten cheese how much cheese have you eaten today how much cheese is too much cheese any amount of cheese before a date is too much cheese I had a lot of cheese I had a block of cheese okay e a block of cheese I was very nervous I started eating cheese man does that calm you down just don't breathe in her Direction okay whatever you do relax stick to the game plan I look hand you look [Music] great hi hi are you Charlie Kelly yeah yeah I am yeah sorry I'm late um you're Jackie yes I am are you all right yeah this I I was running okay because you're you're bleeding oh is it bleeding again I'm sorry I'm these are hornets things you know I run into like like a lot of like Hornets in my line of work and I get stung up like bad all over my face and stuff and then you know it starts bleeding oh sounds interesting what is it that you do again I we I'm like a janitor and um I'm a fullon rapist you know um Africans dyslexics children that sort of thing I'm sorry did you say you're a full-on rapist no no say that no no no no no I help I help people you know what I mean I'm I'm a full full a fullan um a philanthropist yeah that's exactly what it is it gets blocked up in my mouth I don't say it no good so I'm a janitor at a bar oh god dude I'm ass yeah dude you said you were a rapist I went crazy in the brain for a second and my eyes all like and I couldn't think straight that shirt is ruined I know dude give me your shirt what give you that's a totally different shirt yeah can I get here how the hell are you going explain that to I'll say I met a nice guy in the bathroom and we traded shirs are you listening to yourself Jesus Christ stop freaking out okay new plan new plan new plan Charlie make a move just tell her you want a banger no that's is that how you get checked he's got a 50-50 shot a yes or no scenario it is a no scenario why don't approach her that way that's not going to work I'm getting the shirt you're not going to get the shirt all right this is what you're going to do go back out there start asking asking her questions about herself talk to her about being a lawyer okay I can do that right right that's going to work and then if anything goes wrong I'll come out there I'll say I'm the manager of Goos do you understand okay all right all right I got it I got it I know I'll order and we'll be good all right great just go get come on just get back out there yeah hey I'm sorry about that it took a little while there was a guy in the bathroom he would have gave me a shirt and I was fighting I'm like give me your shirt bro and you didn't want to give it to me and it was like a whole thing hi uh I'm the manager and Mr Kelly is one of our preferred customers it's so wonderful to see you here again this now I'm going to want the milk steak boiled over hard and aside of your finest jelly beans raw Mr Kelly you have the most wonderful sense of your he I own this joint and I know this guy and he is loaded Mr Kelly we have your milk boiling just the way you like it back there for your steak you're going to like this how's about out I clear out the coat room and you guys hit it in there while the steak is getting ready what what in the hell are you doing I got this he's going to be aggressive make a move M no don't oh my God what are you doing I'm leaving you're grabbing her breasts what are you doing I no what does make a move mean it doesn't mean stab at her breast with your fingers come on bro you're ordering milk steak and jelly beans on you guys blew it dude told the game plan you was going great I had it man you did not have you don't know about chicks man we don't know about chicks well guess what what bro the waitress is getting married so suck on that I see well I supposed to be taking them mil sck to go [Music] then

Channel: Scrambles

Views: 2,334,389

Keywords: milk, steak, it's, always, sunny, in, philadelphia, date, charlie, funny, fx

Id: 3tUX4tQ6m7U

Length: 4min 47sec (287 seconds)

Published: Fri May 21 2010