Caught My Wife Cheated On Me With My Bestfriend Who Had Recently Lost His Wife.. Reddit Stories

caught my wife cheated on me with my best friend who had recently lost his wife in a car accident Karma got her and she's in the hospital for overdose I don't even know where to begin I can't describe how I'm feeling right now or how to process any of this I made this account initially to see if anyone else has gone through something remotely similar to this and unfortunately it's not that uncommon I apologize in advance for the length of this post I just needed to get this all out cuz I thought I'd go insane I met my wife we'll call her Sue in college we were both 18 at the time we hit it off as soon as we went on our first date and were spewing I love yous within weeks of us dating she kind of pursued me but I was glad as hell that she did we shared our deepest insecurities and secrets with each other and when her dad passed away in her senior year of college I was there for her through the whole ordeal her father had pancreatic cancer and when he was hospitalized I'd spend nights at the hospital with her so she wouldn't be alone we got through it and that point in time strengthened our bond she told me she didn't know what she would have done if I hadn't been there for her she called me her soulmate I knew I was going to marry this girl and sure enough I popped the question about 2 years after we graduated at that point in time life couldn't get any better for me I married the girl of my dreams had a well-paying job immediately after graduating and both our families loved us my best friend we'll call him Dave and I had what I could only describe as an unbreakable brotherly Bond or so I thought we had known each other since third grade and he was the brother I never had he was also married and moved away with his wife because she had landed a lucrative job at a big Law Firm about a year ago his wife died in a car crash and this broke him he moved back to our hometown after but he was never the same I tried to be there for him but he wouldn't engage with anyone no one understood the pain he was going through so I asked my wife if she could talk to him seeing if she had also lost a loved one and that maybe Dave could relate better with someone who went through something similar yes I know now that this was a huge mistake we'd pay him visits daily she would spend hours on end at his place even without me there they were going on Hikes together watching movies not inviting me grabbing lunch all things couples do now obviously this was far more interaction than I had intended for them to have and it did make me uncomfortable but Dave was doing much better from it it's important to say that Dave and Sue never liked each other before all this happened this is because Sue always thought he was a douche before he married his wife Dave was bouncing from relationship to relationship and even after he got with his deceased wife he constantly cheated on her as a result Sue had a particular dislike for him and always questioned how I could be friends with someone with such low morals this disdain for Chris is also what made me oblivious to what was to come as I mentioned Sue and Dave became Inseparable to the point where she would invite him to things I had planned for us as a couple moreover she started portraying characteristics of what I now know to be classic cheater Behavior always on her phone becoming increasingly distant little to no intimacy and coming home very late at this point it was all too suspicious and one day she was texting and I asked who she was talking to she said it was one of her girlfriends and when I asked to see what they were saying she became very irritated and called me possessive when I talked to Dave about how uncomfortable their friendship was making me he assured me nothing was up and even accused me of not trusting him and my own wife I was getting gaset this continued until one day Sue went out again she said she was going to her sisters for the weekend because she needed some space for me because I was driving her crazy with my accusations I was still very suspicious and called her sister to confirm if she was indeed expecting sue a visit she confirmed that she was but that Sue had not yet arrived mind you she left around 3:00 p.m. and her sister's place is about 4 hours away from where we live it was now 10: p.m. something in the back of my head told me to go to my friend's house so I did sure enough my wife's car is parked a couple of feet away from my friend's house at this point it was clear as day as to what was going on and I hate to admit it but I cried hard after a few minutes I decided to go in and see if this is really what was happening I went in through the back door which I knew would be open I quietly made my way in and I could hear my wife moaning I was shaking when I made it to the door of his bedroom I could see through the creek my wife bent over on nightst I'll never get that image out of my head I'm literally crying as I'm writing this down I pushed the door wide open and they both froze staring at me it took every ounce of my being not to beat the living hell out of Dave I just walked away and got into my car I could hear them scrambling and my wife started screaming at me to stop and that she can explain I didn't want to look at her I don't know what I would have done so I just drove away I cried the entire drive home and they were both spamming me with calls I went to one of my college friends and have been here the past week or so I can't eat I I can't sleep and I can't think of anything else I informed my work of what was going on and they were kind enough to give me time off I've been getting phone calls from both Dave and Sue as well as both our families I let my family know I was all right and would be back soon but I haven't responded to anyone else ever since this hurts so bad I want to die I want to be gone from this world but I'm too much of a coward to do it myself I'm trying to be strong but my resolve is wavering how can someone you loved so selflessly do this I don't know what to do how do I deal with this please please help me update one first off I wanted to thank you all for your support and words of advice you all made this time and my life somewhat bearable some of you shared your own stories and made me realize that this is something I can come back from I had many thoughts about self-d deltion but I think I'm past that now thank you so much for caring many of you were asking me for an update so here it is I don't know what to make of that there are many more of those kinds of emails but I wanted to share that one because it left me confused I definitely don't know the person I married what do you guys make of it as many of you guys suggested as well as family and friends I contacted a lawyer and met up with her yesterday I gave her all the details and she seems to be very motivated to help me come out of this as financially whole as possible given the circumstances I still love my wife dearly but I don't know if this is something I can get over I received lots of messages from Dave too but I don't want to read them I often switch from sorrow to rage and don't know how to feel right now should I try to see if reconciliation is possible or should I just end this marriage now and save myself more heartbreak my family knows everything apparently Sue confessed what she had done to everyone I've been away from everyone for more than two weeks now and I still don't know what to do the pain still feels fresh every time I close my eyes I can see nothing else but Sue and Dave together and the pain doesn't seem to be lessening I know most of you are saying to just divorce and I would say the same thing too but things aren't that black and white when you are the one in the situation given all this new info I'd appreciate any advice particularly from people who've been here betrayed spouses and waywards how did you manage to move past ask this is it even possible right now I'm almost certainly going to move on with the divorce but I just need reassurance I'm making the right decision I've read all your comments and felt I needed to add this I was told by her as well as family and friends that she has been living with her sister the past few weeks in one of her emails she explained that she has only spoken to Dave once since I found out and went full NC with him her mother called me and apologized for her daughter's Behavior via text I didn't pick up her calls she said sue is in individual counseling at the moment in another one of her emails she said said she was never going to leave me for David she has feelings for him but she doesn't love him huh Dave is supposedly leaving soon but is apparently holding it off until he speaks to me face to face there's a lot of other stuff I haven't addressed and I'm probably leaving out some details but some of my family and friends are saying I should just talk to her and move on from there that's where I'm at now update to so I took some time off of Reddit and other social media to reflect on my marriage and the steps I was going to take moving forward I was getting lots of advice from the kind people on here as well as family and friends however I wasn't sure what I really wanted a lot has happened since then so this might be a novel bear with me when I looked back on the marriage most of it was filled with little else but happy memories which is why I was trying so hard to find a reason to stay However when I started thinking about her cheating how she and Dave gas lit me and made me question my sanity the only thing I felt was rage the deeper I looked the angrier I got I will never forget how angry Sue would get when I questioned her on where she'd been when she came home late or the disgusted look Dave gave me when I asked him manto man if there was anything going on between him and my wife the cheating was bad enough and even worse was that it was with my best friend but the gaslighting the gaslighting I will never get over it fair enough I was played like the fool I was but it takes a special kind of person to lie so effortlessly and so well I don't know how they were able to flip the switch like that I remember one night when she came home late about 2 days before I found out she was telling me how much she loved me and how horny she was when she was driving home thinking about me now I'm almost certain she had come home from Dave's because she wasn't wearing any panties she had sex with both of us back toback I kissed her this whole situation made me feel like a wimp how could I have let them walk all over me like that I feel so emasculated the more I reflected the more I got the urge to head over to Dave's but I couldn't there is no justice for me not with our justice system they get to torment me assault me mentally but if I retaliate I'm the one who gets put in jail for who knows how long I spoke with my lawyer about this and she urged me not to do anything stupid not Not only would I go to jail but I would jeopardize my chances in the divorce proceedings she suggested I see a therapist but I don't want to I don't see the need I was still getting spammed with emails from Sue and they were just making me angrier she was still spewing the same nonsense as before and how miserable her life would be without me she even had the nerve to send me Bible verses on forgiveness if I mattered that much why do it I started going to work again because I wanted to be busy being distracted has really helped me cope better and I don't drink as much as I was at the beginning one day while at work I received a letter from Sue I wanted to just throw it away but decided to read it in it she talked about her individual counseling and how it helped her discover some underlying issues she was having with herself the biggest of all being her low self-esteem she explained that the discrepancy in our attractiveness made her very self-aware and that deep down she wanted to feel desired by someone other than me according to her her sister has always been much prettier than her and this contributed to her low self-esteem she said that even though she knew I was attracted to her and that I made her feel beautiful she sought validation from someone else she apologized again and said it wasn't an excuse but that she was simply looking for a way to make sure it never happens again if I should decide to give her another chance she then proceeded to ask if we could try marriage counseling to work things out I still didn't respond to anything she or her family sent me at this point so I just ignored it anyway I started the divorce proceedings and the first order of business was splitting our finances and unfortunately I couldn't untangle myself from her without her consent we each have separate accounts as well as a joint savings account and unfortunately I can't take what I'm entitled to from it without her even though I make significantly more than she does and have contributed the most to the money in that account I'll probably have to split it with her 50/50 so I just proceeded with filing the divorce papers she was served a few weeks ago and then the show started the very day she was served she showed up at my apartment with a divorce petition in her hands I don't know how she found out where I was we just stared at each other for what felt like forever and all the pain from that night came back all the emotions I felt returned with renewed Vigor I almost teared up again but I didn't she looked like she had been crying and she rushed towards me and tried to give me a hug I gently pushed her away and this somehow made her hysterical she started shouting asking why I was giving up on us so easily and if we could just talk it out at this point I figured I just wanted to get away from her looking at her gave me a wave of different emotions so I wanted to get away before I did or said anything I would regret I tried going back to my car and she threw herself on the top of the hood I asked her what she wanted and she said she just wanted to talk things through that we couldn't end our marriage in such a manner without at least clearing the air I relented because she was clearly not taking no for an answer and was making a scene we got into my apartment and I just sat down and listened to what she had to say again she said she would do anything to save our marriage that she doesn't love Dave that she's sorry she said she did some research on how we can move forward and suggested a trial separation in this separation she said I could date whoever I wanted but that I should hold off on the divorce and at the very least give her the chance to mend our friendship and then our relationship as husband and wife she suggested a lot of other crazy stuff like a one-sided open marriage in my favor tried showing me stories of other couples who have survived infidelity and even suggested that we should just move to a different state or even a different country just the two of us that part kind of hurt me because we had spoken about moving and starting our family not too long before all this happened when she was done we just sat there in silence again just staring at each other and then I asked her why why him why cheat on me with him and then come back only after I caught her she started sobbing really hard when I asked these questions she said she felt really guilty even during the ACT but that she didn't know how to stop that she was so deep in the affair that he didn't think of the consequences and what she was going to lose she said that the counseling made her realize that she probably would have cheated on me at some point if not with Dave then with someone else this was supposedly because of the same underlying issues that she was unaware of I asked her if she loved Dave and she promised me she didn't love him that they haven't spoken since I left and that she doesn't even know where he is now that she loved only me and would do anything to make up for what she has done to us I asked her if she had ever cheated on me before all of this and she swore her dead father that this was the first and last time I asked her who else knew about her and Dave she hesitated and said only her sister but that she only knew about it a few days before I found out and that she implored her to end it and come clean to me you guys who suggested that the sister knew were spoton I also asked her why she was begging why she didn't just leave to be with Dave I asked her if she was only doing this because she felt like it was the right thing to do and not because she actually wanted to be with me she answered saying that she was doing it because she loves me and because she knows she made some horrible choices we talked for a long time a lot of crying on her end but not for me I had cried enough when I first found out and didn't have any more tears to shed over this then I asked her if there was anything else she wanted to tell me if there was anything else she was keeping secret she started sobbing again and asked me not to get angry I got really nervous when she said that she started crying for a bit before I urged her to just say it because she was making me uneasy then it came out she said she found out she was pregnant not long after I had left and that she got an abortion because she wasn't sure who the father was she said she thought if it turned out to be Dave's there would be no room for reconciliation and she felt she had to do it I couldn't believe what I was hearing I was in shock and she started begging even more not to let this be the end of our relationship I just went numb I asked her to leave and she begged me to stay that we still needed to talk all this begging was simply infuriating coupled with the news I just heard I asked her how far along she was when she found out she was pregnant and she said a few weeks then it hit me wait you said in an email that you only started having sex with Dave about a week before I found out was that a lie she nodded she nodded she explained that she only said that because she didn't want to hurt me with the details and was trying to minimize it she confessed that it was physical for less than a month she tried to console me but I pushed her away I asked her to leave and never come back she tried saying something but I just started yelling at her to leave she asked if we could talk again once I processed everything and I refused I told her I had found a job in another state and would be moving as soon as the divorce was underway in our state there is a 2-month cool off period after you file I have had already planned on doing this and was just finalizing everything before I resigned from my current job I had already given my boss a notice at that point when she heard this it was more of the same crying and pleading like before I told her to leave or I would call the police she reluctantly left and I just lay on the floor wondering where I went wrong how did my marriage get to this point in such a short period of time I just couldn't understand it I was somewhat sure of the divorce before but after she and I spoke I was now more sure of my decision than ever before I ignored all efforts on Suzanne for contact again however a few days ago this was on Thursday I received a phone call from my mom that Sue was in the hospital apparently she was hospitalized for a drug overdose this all felt like a nightmare I still don't know how to process all of this why is all of this happening I visited Sue in the hospital and she seemed to be okay but she was checked into a psych wart that's where things are at now I still have no idea why she would do this and the time I visited her she was asleep it hurts cause I still love her and right now I'm just happy she's okay I haven't been thinking of the divorce give and what's going on right now how do I even proceed there's probably a lot of important details I'm leaving out but adding them will just make this unbearably long I just need suggestions on what I should do next edit I've reposted this to my page because I'm getting spammed with messages asking me to repost I didn't get to reply to most of your comments so please chime in I could really use the advice thank you all update three my life is a disaster I was hoping my last update would be my last post relating to this matter but here I am again it's been about eight months since my life turned into a show and unfortunately for me things just keep getting worse I'm not going to go into detail but I hope I can give enough to get some constructive feedback from you on here you've been far more helpful than you know the last time I posted Sue was in a pretty bad mental state unfortunately she got better after some therapy I felt really bad for her but I knew I couldn't stay I know a lot of people have made it through this kind of stuff but I know myself had I stayed I'd only be doing myself and her more harm than good I'll never get over it and will probably Harbor some resentment even a couple of years from now we agreed to divorce but she wanted us to remain in contact even if it was just minimal the divorce process was pretty smooth and we got divorced about a month ago I moved to the West Coast to start a new and things were finally starting to look good for me but then I got a phone call about Sue again from her sister and long story short Sue suffered from a stroke she is almost completely immobile on the left side of her body and can barely speak I can't even put into words how devasting that was to hear let alone how crushed I felt when I went to visit her she looked nothing like the person I knew and she'd always cry when she saw me one of the worst Parts about all this is I can't help but feel like it's my fault this happened to her people tell me it isn't but I feel like it is even though her closest Family says it's not my fault I can sense some hostility from them whenever I speak to them her aunt cussed me out in front of everyone when she saw me and they were all silent they just asked me to leave it alone and get on with my life as much as I wish I could just move on it still hurts knowing how all this turned out I haven't spoken to sue since she got the stroke and her family won't let me see her cause apparently I cause her stress I don't even know the full details because I don't have the right to know now I just can't seem to catch a break me I guess

Channel: Geesi Stories

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Id: SK4cZUsdDMo

Length: 18min 7sec (1087 seconds)

Published: Wed Mar 27 2024