>> Stephen: THERE YOU GO.
WELCOME BACK, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.
OH, MY FRIENDS. OH, MY DEARS.
MY GUEST TONIGHT IS A SEVEN-TIME EMMY-WINNING ACTRESS AND THE
QUEEN OF TV VARIETY SHOWS. NOW SHE STARS IN THE APPLE TV+
SERIES "PALM ROYALE." >> ANSWER TO ALL MY PROBLEMS.
SMOTHER YOU WITH THIS PILLOW. >> I DARE YOU TO TRY IT.
YOU DON'T HAVE IT IN YOU. YOU DON'T HAVE THE GUTS, THE
PIZZAZZ, THEY DO-OR-DIE SPARKLE. >> I COULD HAVE IT IN ME.
DIET! WHY WON'T YOU JUST DIE!
DIE ALREADY! >> SEE?
[LAUGHS] YOU DON'T HAVE IT IN YOU.
>> MY GOD, OH, MY GOD. OH, GOD.
OF COURSE I WOULD NEVER DO THAT. BAD MAXINE, BAD!
>> Stephen: PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO "THE LATE SHOW,"
CAROL BURNETT. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪ [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪ [CHEERING]
PLEASE, MADAME. [CHEERING]
PLEASE, MADAME. ISN'T THAT LOVELY?
CAROL, AS YOU CAN TELL, I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE EXCITED THAT YOU'RE
HERE. THANK YOU FOR BEING HERE.
[CHEERING] I'VE HAD THE OPPORTUNITY TO
INTERVIEW YOU A FEW TIMES BOTH ON THIS SHOW ON THE LAST SHOW.
ALWAYS A JOY. YOU'RE ONE OF MY ALL-TIME
FAVORITE GUESTS. YOU ARE SO NATURAL AND RELAXED
IN YOURSELF BUT ALSO LARGER THAN THE AT THE SAME TIME.
I'M JUST CURIOUS. YOU HAD SUCH A LONG AND STORIED
CAREER, DID YOU EVER GET NERVOUS ON TALK SHOWS?
>> Carol: OH, YES. I REMEMBER A LONG TIME AGO, YOU
KNOW, WHEN JOHNNY CARSON WAS ON. >> Stephen: SURE, SURE.
>> Carol: I WOULD BE NERVOUS. HE KIND OF MADE ME NERVOUS
BECAUSE WHEN YOU SAT IN THAT CHAIR, YOU HAD TO SCORE.
I AM NOT A STAND-UP OR ANYTHING. I THOUGHT, WHAT AM I GOING TO
DO? I DECIDED I DIDN'T DIDN'T TELL
JOHNNY, THAT I WOULD BE THE WORLD'S WORST GUEST.
[LAUGHTER] SO --
>> Stephen: I SHUDDER TO IMAGINE.
>> Carol: I GET ON THE SHOW AND THIS WAS YEARS AGO AND HE
SAID "I'M SO GLAD YOU'RE HERE, CAROL.
I UNDERSTAND YOU JUST MOVED OUT FROM NEW YORK BUT THAT YOU WERE
RAISED HERE IN HOLLYWOOD AND THEN HE WENT TO NEW YORK A AND I
ARE BACK IN CALIFORNIA AGAIN. ARE YOU THRILLED ABOUT THAT?"
AND I SAID "YES." AND THEN HE SAID...
HE SAID, "WASN'T BETTY GRABLE YOUR FAVORITE MOVIE STAR WHEN
YOU WERE GROWING UP IN HOLLYWOOD?"
I SAID "YES." AND THEN HE SAID "I UNDERSTAND
THAT YOU BOUGHT BETTY GRABLE'S OLD HOUSE, SO YOU'RE LIVING IN
IT." >> ASKED.
"HE SAID, DID YOU EVERYTHING THINK THAT SUCH A THING WHATEVER
HAPPENED TO YOU?" I SAID "NO."
OF COURSE HE CAUGHT ON. HE STARTED ASKING ALL KINDS OF
INTERESTING QUESTIONS WHICH I COULD JUST SAY "MAYBE."
"NO." >> Stephen: I'M JEALOUS OF
ANYBODY THAT HAD ANY TIME WITH CARSON BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY IS THE
MODEL FOR SO MANY OF US. YOU ALSO HAD, YOU STARTED YOUR
CAREER WITH GARY MOORE. >> Carol: RIGHT HERE ON THIS
STAGE. [APPLAUSE]
>> Stephen: AND THEN YOU ARE ON THE ED SULLIVAN SHOW SEVEN
TIMES. >> Carol: I WAS?
>> Stephen: THAT'S WHAT RESEARCH SAYS.
THEY COULDN'T PRINT IT IF IT WASN'T LEGAL.
SEVEN TIMES. OF COURSE, SO MANY PEOPLE CAME
ON THIS STAGE. WHERE WE'RE SITTING RIGHT NOW,
THE BEATLES PERFORMED UP CENTER UP THERE.
WE'VE BEEN TOLD THAT ELVIS PERFORMED RIGHT HERE WITH THE
JORDAN HEIRS BEHIND HIM OR THIS DESK IS.
DID YOU EVER MEET ANY OF THEM? >> Carol: I WAS ON WHEN ELVIS
WAS ON WHEN HE WAS IN THE ARMY AND THEY DID A WHOLE BIG THING
WHEN HE WAS IN THE ARMY ON THE STAGE AND THEY PUT ME ON FIRST.
NOBODY WANTED TO SEE NEED. I MEAN, IT WAS --
IT WAS ELVIS. WHERE THE HILL IS ELVIS?
I BOMBED. OH, MY GOD.
IT WAS AWFUL. >> Stephen: DID YOU SAY HI
TIM? >> Carol: YES, I MET HIM AND
HE WAS VERY SWEET AND I GOT HIS AUTOGRAPH FOR MY KID SISTER.
>> Stephen: THAT'S NICE. ELVIS INSPIRED THE SONG THAT YOU
DID CALLED "I MADE A FOOL OF MYSELF."
>> Carol: OVER JOHN FOSTERED DULLES --
JOHN FOSTER DULLES. >> Stephen: I KNOW THIS SONG.
TELL THE PEOPLE WHO JOHN FOSTER DULLES WAS.
>> Carol: JOHN FOSTER DULLES IN THE 50s WAS OUR SECRETARY
OF STATE, APTLY NAMED. HE WAS SO DULL.
THERE WAS NOTHING THERE. I REMEMBER HE WORE THIS OVERCOAT
AND A HAT AND NEVER SMILED OR ANYTHING.
SO I WAS DOING A SPECIAL MATERIALS SONG THAT A FRIEND OF
MINE WROTE CALLED "I MADE A FOOL OF MYSELF OVER JOHN FOSTER
DULLES" WHICH WAS MEANT TO BE, LIKE EVERYBODY WAS GOING CRAZY
OVER ELVIS. SO HE WROTE THIS SONG ABOUT THIS
YOUNG GIRL GOING CRAZY OVER JOHN FOSTER DULLES.
>> Stephen: ELVIS DULLES. VERY SHORT JUMP.
>> Carol: I DID IT ON THE PARR SHOW AND I WAS WORKING AT A
NIGHTCLUB THE BLUE ANGEL AND I WENT BACK TO THE SECOND JEWEL OF
THE PHONES ARE RINGING OFF THE HOOK AND ONE OF THE CALLS WAS
FROM DAVID WATERS WHO WAS MR. DULLES' PRESS ADVISOR.
HE SAID MR. DULLES DIDN'T SEE IT BUT COULD YOU GO BACK ON THE
JACK PARTIAL AND DO IT SO THAT HE COULD SEE IT?
SO I WENT BACK. I WENT BACK AND DID IT AGAIN AND
I DIDN'T GET ON THE ED SULLIVAN SHOW AND ALL HELL BROKE LOOSE.
WHO WAS THIS GIRL SINGING ABOUT THE SECRETARY OF STATE?
>> Stephen: DID HE EVER SAY ANYTHING TO YOU ABOUT IT?
>> Carol: WHAT HAPPENED, A WEEK LATER I'M HOME AND I'M
WATCHING "MEET THE PRESS" AND MR. DULLES IS ON.
ALL THE DIFFICULT THINGS THEY ARE TALKING ABOUT THE WORLD
TODAY. >> Stephen: SURE, COLD WAR.
>> Carol: AT THE END OF THE PROGRAM THE GUY SAID
"MR. DULLES, WOULD YOU TELL US, MR. SECRETARY, WOULD YOU TELL US
WHAT'S GOING ON BETWEEN YOU AND THIS GIRL THAT SINGS THAT LOVE
SONG ABOUT YOU?" [LAUGHTER]
AND I'M LIKE THIS, GLUED TO THE SET.
HE SAID "I MAKE IT A POLICY NEVER TO DISCUSS MATTERS OF THE
HEART IN PUBLIC." [LAUGHTER]
>> Stephen: THAT'S NICE. THAT IS NICE.
>> Carol: SO HE DID HAVE A SENSE OF HUMOR.
>> Stephen: CAROL, WE HAVE TO TAKE A LITTLE BREAK.
PLEASE DON'T LEAVE. AND DON'T YOU LEAVE EITHER.
WE'LL BE BACK WITH MORE CAROL BURNETT, EVERYBODY.
