“The Queen’s Guard” comprise of various
soldiers tasked with guarding the residences of the Queen and, by extension, the Queen
herself. Consisting of soldiers (mostly) hand picked
from five elite regiments within the British military, the Queen’s Guard are internationally
renowned for their stoic dedication to duty. However, contrary to popular belief, these
soldiers are permitted to move (and do so regularly, even when just on guard duty and
not on parade) and in certain circumstances do react to hecklers or the like. That said, while on duty outside one of the
Queen’s residences, these sentries are trained to remain unflinching in the face of everything
from extreme weather to screaming abuse a few inches from their faces. In fact, if they end up having to relieve
themselves during their two hour shifts (generally two hours on, four hours off), they remain
just as outwardly unflappable, instructed to simply perform their necessaries in their
thick woolen trousers which, according to Guardsman Shaun Marsden, “are sufficiently
dark to cover their embarrassment”. (While this might seem a short span of time
to ever have this occur, it should be noted that on hot summer days, Guardsmen are instructed
to drink very large amounts of water before going on duty to attempt to prevent heatstroke
and dehydration.) But despite these bastions of British stoicism’s
reputations, they do move regularly- at least every 10 minutes they will turn and patrol
their post, which usually involves taking about 10-20 paces one way and then back before
once again resuming their vigil. Occasionally a guard may also perform such
a march to approach an individual within their vicinity who is being a particular nuisance
or the like, but the more common purpose of these little jaunts is usually just to get
the blood flowing again to keep it from pooling too much in their legs, potentially causing
the soldier to faint. Speaking of fainting, if a soldier begins
to feel themselves succumbing to such, they are taught to “faint to attention”. This basically means that they must faint
while maintaining their standing at attention pose. In practice when achieved, this tends to result
in them falling rigidly over like a toy soldier, which is why pictures of guardsman laying
face down, rather than more or less crumpled, on the ground abound on the web. Fellow Queen’s Guard members around said
individual are forbidden from deviating from their duty if this occurs and will in fact
march straight over their fallen comrade if necessary. (Medical personal will, of course, be sent
out to attend to the individual when this is observed.) While not a common occurrence, this does happen
every now and then. For instance, during the 2017 Trooping the
Colour, in which temperatures sat around 27°C (80°F), five of the Queen’s Guard, baking
in their many layered, thick uniforms and bearskin hats, passed out. Beyond fainting and marching, the guards also
may move about in a variety of other ways- they are guards after all. However, given that their roll has largely
been reduced to a symbolic one, with local law enforcement generally taking care of any
problems that arise around the Queen’s residences, today one of these elite soldiers breaking
their normal stoic stance is generally simply due to tourists, rather than a real threat
or need for them to perform as actual guards. That said, members of the Queen’s Guard
will rarely openly react to tourists taking photos or telling them jokes to try and make
them laugh and are, in fact, specifically instructed to ignore stuff like this. However, if a particular group of tourists
is being especially annoying, the guard may make their best effort to ruin a picture or
the like, for instance by suddenly turning and marching right when the tourists are all
posing for a photograph with the guard. In one instance we came across, a guardsman
noted he’d just continuing to march while such tourists are around, passive aggressively
getting them back for their disrespect- somewhat akin to the Seinfeld Soup Nazi, “No picture
for you!” Speaking of marching, should you get in the
way of a member of the Queen’s Guard who is doing this, you’ll likely find yourself
having said soldier shout something to the effect of “Make way for the Queen’s Guard!” Failure to move out of their way will result
in you being knocked over, as one hapless man found out in 2015. (Although to be fair to said man, no one in
the Guard chose to yell “Make way!” until after they ran into him, and he clearly was
oblivious to their presence before the collision, so wasn’t trying to disrespect them.) One guardsman also noted that, while exceptionally
rare, occasionally a tourist will tell a particularly good joke which may elicit a smile or even
laughter from him, though if a soldier is caught in such a slip in composure, they get
docked pay (a few days to a week’s worth depending on the severity of infraction) and
may endure other punishments, including in extreme cases being kicked off the guard. Thus, while trying to get the guard to lose
their composure may seem all fun and games to tourists, if one is successful and the
guard’s superiors find out, that person may have just screwed with the livelihood
of said soldier, who in the first place aren’t exactly getting rich as a member of the Guard. (They are generally paid somewhere between
about £1200-£2000 per month, which is about $1,500-$2600.) As for sanctioned interactions with people,
should the guard deem someone enough of a nuisance (though not necessarily a real threat,
with in that case guards free to react however they see fit to deal with the situation),
they are instructed to do the following: Come to attention sharply, involving a very
loud stamp, which is all the more startling when said soldier was otherwise motionless
before. Shouting sharp instructions at the individual
being a nuisance. This might be something like “Step back
from the Queen’s Guard!” with the guards required to keep their warnings and ultimatums
brief and to the point. Marching towards the individual. Pointing the bayoneted rifle directly at the
person being a nuisance. If all else fails, doing whatever is necessary
to detain the person causing the disturbance or pressing a button in the sentry box to
alert police to come deal with the situation. One potential almost surefire way of eliciting
such a strong reaction is to touch the guard or otherwise exhibit extremely disrespectful
behavior, such as marching along beside the soldier in a mocking fashion while insulting
the guard verbally. And if you’re wondering whether said rifles
that may be pointed at your face in such a scenario are loaded are not, they are usually
not. (Though one imagines having a sharpened bayonet
wielded by a highly trained soldier shoved in your face is intimidating enough, even
if you know the gun it’s attached to is not loaded.) Occasionally the Guard do carry ammunition
with them though, particularly when there’s knowledge of a credible threat to the safety
of the Queen or nation or otherwise when a heightened state of security is ordered. In these cases, if necessary, the soldier
can load the rifle in a blink by simply ejecting the empty magazine and popping in a full one. And, yes, as actual guards- even if their
duties today are mostly ceremonial in practice- said individuals are authorised to use deadly
force when appropriate, most notably if they feel their own lives, members of the royal
family, or the general public near their guard post are endangered. As an idea of just what the Queen’s Guard
have long had to deal with from people, former guardsman Ronald Tibbets notes, “Some march
up and down with us and others pull our bearskins. Some people put fag ends down the rifle butts. Some stick oranges on the end of the bayonet…” It’s also noted that having banana peels
or other such items placed along a soldier’s marching route is occasionally a thing. People also sometimes attempt to untie the
guard’s shoelaces. One member of the Guard even noted it wasn’t
uncommon for people to “stick pins in you” to try to make guardsmen flinch. It’s not all bad, though, and guardsmen
have noted that some people are quite respectful when approaching for photographs and the like. Further, one guardsman noted in an interview
there was a general “perk” of frequently having women flash guards to get a reaction
and also sometimes having phone numbers and addresses slipped into their pockets by those
women no doubt wanting to see whether the ability to stand at attention for hours at
a time translates to the bedroom. Today, many problems the Queen’s Guard have
long had with the general public has been mitigated somewhat. To get around the fact that the public seemingly
can’t be trusted to act respectfully around said soldiers, the guards in many, but not
all, cases now stand behind fences or roped off areas. They still have to deal with the heckling,
of course, but at least can now in many posts avoid being stuck with pins. Given the mostly ceremonial nature of the
posting these days, you might be wondering what the guards actually think about while
standing for so long. One guardsman noted, “sometimes I just people
watch” (that, after all, being partially what they are supposed to be doing- keeping
alert for any threats), but at other times, “I tend to sing songs in my head or try
to remember as much of a movie from start to finish in my head… I’ve gotten pretty good at that.” Before a parade, the iconic bear skin hats
of the Queen’s Guard are shampooed and conditioned to make them look as glossy and full as possible. Individual soldiers are also expected to comb
their hats on a daily basis. These bearskin hats are made from Canadian
brown bear and generally weigh around 1 kg, though get significantly heavier when it’s
raining. The practice of the Guard wearing large bearskin
hats dates back to the early 19th century, with the hats’ purpose primarily meant to
intimidate by making the soldier wearing it look much taller. In some ways, the Queen’s Guard are comparable
to the soldiers who guard the Tomb of the Unknowns in the US. Both are famed for their discipline and commitment
to duty and both can, contrary to popular opinion, deviate from the strict, regimented
routine should a member of the public act in a disrespectful manner. For more about these soldiers you can read
our article about them here: Standing in a Hurricane- Watching Over the Tomb of the Unknowns. Although the soldiers who serve in the Queen’s
Guard are invariably “a member from one of five regiments of the Foot Guard from the
British Army’s Household Division”, specifically the Grenadier Guards, the Coldstream Guards,
the Scots Guards, the Irish Guards and the Welsh Guards, (meaning the Queen is being
protected by soldiers from the four countries that make up the United Kingdom) they can,
in theory, hail from any regiment serving in the commonwealth. Because of this, the duties of the Queen’s
Guard have, on occasion, been assumed by everyone from the Royal Marines to the Canadian Expeditionary
Force over the years.
