HEY, EVERYBODY. >> Stephen: WELCOME BACK. GIVE IT UP FOR JON BAT TYES AND
STAY HUMAN. >> Stephen: OH MY GOSH. >> Jon: YEAH. S THAT IS FANTASTIC. YOU KNOW THERE ARE SO MANIER S
SERIOUS PROBLEMS IN THE WORLDS BUT, HEINZ HAS STARTED A
PETITION TO PUT THE SAME NUMBER OF HOT DOGS AND BUNS IN
PACKAGES. YES. THIS STORY RESONATES. >> Jon: THAT IS JUSTICE,
THAT'S JUSTICE! (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE). >> Jon:
>> Stephen: THANK YOU, THANK YOU HEINZ, AS EVERYONE KNOWS HOT
DOGS ARE SOLD IN TEN PACKS, BUNS COME IN EIGHT PACKS IN HONOR OF
THE ABS YOU WILL NEVER HAVE IF YOU EAT HOT DOGS, THIS
MISMATCHED PACKAGING MEANS ARE YOU ALWAYS LEFT WITH TWO EXTRA
WEINERS WHICH IS NOT ONLY FRUSTRATING, IT IS ALSO THE
TITLE OF A VERY UPSETTING KEVIN JAMES COMEDY. MISALIGNMENT, MISALIGNMENT, OF
BUN WEINER QUANTITIES, OF ANY AMOUNT HAS LONG PRESENTED A
PROBLEM. FIRST ADDRESSED IN THE '90S BY
STEVE MARTIN. >> I WANT TO BUY EIGHT HOT DOGS
AND EIGHT HOT DOG BUNS TO GO WITH THEM, BUT NO ONE SELLS
EIGHT, THEY ONLY SELL 12 HOT DOG BUNS SO I END UP PAYING FOR FOUR
BUNS I DON'T NEED, SO I'M REMOVING THE SUPERFLUOUS BUNS. >> Stephen: GOOD POINT. BY THE WAY, SUPERFLUOUS BUNS IS
THE SEQUEL TO TWO EXTRA WEINERS. BIG HIT, THOSE WERE A BIG HIT. NOW THE HEINZ PETITION HAS
CLEARLY SPOOKED THE MEAT TUBE INDUSTRIAL COMPLEX BECAUSE IT
HAS ALREADY PROMPTED A RESPONSE FROM ACTUAL WASHINGTON
ORGANIZATION THE NATIONAL HOT DOG AND SAUSAGE COUNCIL. AND I'M BEING TOLD WE HAVE
FOOTAGE OF THE LATEST MEETING OF THE COUNCIL. >> I PROMOASES WE LOOSEN WHAT
CAN BE CLASSIFIED AS MEET IN A SAUSAGE CASING. >> YES, MORE BUTT HOLES, WE
ALLOW. >> REPS FROM THE COUNCIL,
OFFERED A SOMEWHAT WEAK EXPLANATION FOR THIS
ASYNCHRONOUS WEINER BUN CON UNDRUM, WHEN HOT DOG BUNS WERE
INTROA US DOOD. THEY WERE SOLD IN VARYING QUANTITIES IN THE
BUTCHER SHOP NOT UNTIL 1940 WHEN MANUFACTURERS BAN PACKAGES HOT
DOGS THEY CHOOSE THE TEN TO THE PACK FORMULA, MEANWHILE HOT DOG
BUNS MOST OFTEN COME EIGHT TO THE PACK BECAUSE THE BUNS ARE
BAKED APPROXIMATE CLUSTERS OF FOUR IN PANS DESIGNED TO HOLD
EIGHT ROLLS. THAT'S RIGHT, IT'S BEEN 80 YEARS
SINCE THE WEINER PEOPLE SAID WE'RE DOING TEN AND THE BUN
PEOPLE WERE LIKE NO, WE'RE NOT MOVING OFF OF EIGHT. AND THE U.N. SECURITY COUNCIL
HAS DONE NOTHING. HERE'S WHAT I THINK. HERE'S WHAT I THINK IS GOING ON,
OKAY. FOLLOW ME DOWN THE RAPPITY HOLE,
HERE IS WHAT I THINK IS GOING ON. BIG WEINER AND BIG BUN DON'T
WANT TO RESOLVE THIS CRISIS. DO YOU KNOW WHY? CUZ THEY GOT US BY THE KIELBASA,
OKAY. THEY KNOW AS LONG AS THEY NEVER
SIGN THE WEINER BUN PIZZA CORD BASE AND THE CURRENT MISMATCHED
RATIOS, IN ORDER TO HEAT AN-- HIT EQUAL BUN AND WEINER, A
COMMON MULTIPLE, YOU HAVE TO BUY AT MINIMUM, FOUR TEN PACKS OF
DOGS AND FIVE EIGHT PACKS OF BUN ISES IS, GIVING YOU 40 HOT DOGS
WITH, WHICH IF MY MATH IS CORRECT, IS NOT REALLY A
PROBLEM. WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH MINDY
KALING.
