Call The Police Right Now! (You And Your Son Are In Danger)

[Music] danielle is in tampa florida hi danielle how are you hi mr randy thank you very much for taking my call sure what's up um i'm in a position where i'm thinking about selling my house my son's father and i live together and it's not the best situation um your blinds.com advice actually was pretty spot on as far as our situation goes um i've connected with one of your elps and i'm just really torn because i love my home and i love my neighborhood but i just want to be able to pay my debt off and provide better for my son okay uh so you own the home with your boyfriend or no sir it's just me you own it yeah okay um when is he leaving uh that's a great question well i'll give you the answer tonight i can hear it no no i can hear it in your voice you sound really afraid to me yeah well i'm trying to talk to you outside and he's actually standing next to me because she can't go inside sir um i have about 16 000 worth his worth of debt um it includes a car a credit card some medical debt from the birth of our son that i get no helpless yeah um my home your elt said that i could potentially walk away with about 88 000. yeah so i could reasonably take all that off i could set my son up and myself up in a nice townhome or a reasonable townhome in a nice area good schools you have shot all this out what is your income uh i just got a promotion at my job i've been there about 10 years um i don't quite know what it works out to be but it's 21 an hour i believe it's like 44. okay how old are you i'll be 32 this monster how old's your baby eight months [Music] okay um i don't know if you need to sell your house or not you may that's possible but that's not your problem today is it yes sir yeah okay do you have family in the area okay i do um my mom passed away about two years ago unfortunately so um brothers and oh you're do you have dad a father and brothers in the area yes i am my grandma my aunt who would have room for me and charlie my son okay um you need to get in the car and go to your dad's house when you hang up the phone i can't do that i've tried that early why can't you do that do i need to call the police for you no sir we've already gone through that uh well i'm about to go through it again where are you danielle are you outside your house right now yes i am you are okay do you have car keys where's charlie where's your where's your son in his father's house in front of my car all right you need to uh when you hang up you need to call the police you need to call your father and you need to get you and your son away from this guy do you hear me do you understand this is not going to work otherwise honey this is not a house problem and it's not a debt problem you and your son are in danger do you understand me hello yes sir i'm sorry where'd you go sir can you hear me yeah i can where are you okay okay i'm sorry did you hear what i said or were you distracted yes i did sir no i heard you okay so are you going to sit there in the middle of the sewage or are you going to fix it i want to fix it that's why i want to tell my home and i just want to go no no honey we don't need to call a realtor we need to get the boyfriend out of the house and that's going to involve the police and or your father and your brothers he needs to leave it's your house and you're afraid you understand that this is wrong right yes sir okay this is this is you're you're not the crazy one i'm talking to the same one you know what a lot of training feels like that yeah i know all right i'll tell you what we're gonna do we're gonna put you on hold and kelly is gonna make sure that law enforcement gets over there okay no sir don't you please no baby doll i'm not gonna be i'm i'm not listening i love you and that baby do what i just needed to know if i should feel like how to not [Music] you're in a horrible situation and you have to make the moves to get away from it okay and part of part of the type of situation that you are in is that his part of his psychological job is he has convinced you that you're not able to operate without him and i'm convinced the only way you're ever going to be able to operate is without him you understand me yes sir okay you listen you are worth being okay it's worth being okay for your kid it's worth being okay it's your freaking house he's trespassing we're gonna remove the trespasser it has to happen okay you have to get away from this guy anyone who calls a national radio show and is in this kind of distress tells me that there's serious stuff going on inside your walls you understand and then once he's clear we're going to put you with one of our counselors free i'm not going to charge you a dime and we're going to walk with you and then we can start making decisions about your finances but you don't have a financial problem you need a boyfriend ectomy [Laughter] and it's happening today darling it's happening today do you understand yes sir today and danielle if you feel like you need you and your son to be somewhere safe then i would get out of the house as well removing him may not well not you know but i mean after he's gone you can make this determination you may need to go to local law enforcement but you know get a restraining order you can do whatever you need to do at that point but you and the baby need to get out of there until he's gone and then you need to get someone to remove him and it's that simple so um that's what you have to do and then you can begin to have a conversation uh in some form of sanity because the situation you are in right now is insane it's an insane situation you're not insane but the situation's crazy girl thank you sir thank you hey we love you you hold on a second kelly's gonna pick up okay and we're gonna make sure you get taken care of you weren't scheduled to be involved in the show yesterday but you got involved behind the scenes a little bit yeah for those of you that were not around yesterday for whatever reason i don't usually tell you what yesterday is but all that but this is the time we're gonna stop and do that um we had a young lady call in with rachel and i on the air that um became apparent during the call that she was uh a victim of domestic violence which i don't even like saying that that way because it sounds so antiseptic she was a victim of her boyfriend beating the crap out of her is a better way of saying the truth and we determined that and uh then uh while we were on the call we determined he was in the room that he had walked in and was not happy and so um uh it went from a financial question to a question of her safety and her child's safety and so forth on the air live it's pretty wicked weird and wild but um walk her through that a little bit and um john just happened to walk by the studio and stepped in and uh i put her on hold and he does a lot has done a lot of uh trauma and uh crisis uh intervention type counseling over the years and so um trained in that but also experienced in that so we got a you got on the phone with her and um we were able to get the uh the police over there very quickly and uh the young man is sitting where he should be now in a cage um which is where people like that belong um and so i think they call that a jail but i called it a cage um very simple either one is very simple either one's fine with me but they're both similar situation here this is where this little guy needs to be and uh so that was pretty wild discussion you were having in there off air yeah i i noticed at one point i didn't know who would who was in there you know you kind of zone out and lock try to lock in in face to face you lock eyes but in those situations you lock hearts with somebody and then i noticed you'd come in there after a while but yet it was intense mainly because it was live it was happening live and she was not it wasn't philosophically unsafe she was unsafe now and somebody else had her kid and then you've got a mom who needs to protect herself but i'm not gonna leave my baby unprotected and now you've got a messy situation and um whenever i show up to something like that i'm always looking at escalation trends is this thing slowing down are people separating and they just yelling at each other or is it moving up and this one moved up real rapidly and um luckily the police department there was super responsive and they showed up and i'm grateful to them and at the end of the day i mean we're talking to a really brave brave young woman brave new mom and she's got a hard row ahead of her but yeah things got pretty dicey there for a minute yeah and that's not that's not us hollywoodizing this thing no it got pretty nice it was it was very real yeah and uh he's a violent dude and uh so the uh yeah of course so the end of the story is she's safe her family's around her and of course we're gonna we've plugged her in with financial counseling she does have some crisis financial situation as well and got us some resources there some domestic violence really was not even on the table for discussion yesterday so but our our team is rallying around here we're plugging her in with counselors not of course no charge and we're just going to walk with her and make sure she gets gets her life uh changed in a different direction because it sure was going down the toilet pretty fast we did we connected her some um domestic violence resources there in tampa too so that she can have a local community that can be hands-on there yeah and yeah so so she's safe and good for those of you who are listening a lot of you been you know emailing us and worried and so forth and so we thought we would give you guys a bit of an update and you know it's odd you and i were talking i think it was last week on the air about this correlation between um extreme control over money issues and domestic violence that there's a correlation between that because there's this where uh where a husband or a boyfriend it will not let you pick the cereal at the grocery store you can't go grocery shopping by yourself you can't buy detergent you can't do anything without his approval on every little nuanced thing where there's that level of weird toxic control over a lady a woman uh with the money it's it's a high statistical indicator that he's probably hitting her it's just about power right and i'll take that power over i can get it yeah it's about power and control and boy you know that was going on yesterday and you could smell it in the air so i put her on the air air it was um it didn't take a genius to figure out what was to you know to figure out what i was dealing with what we're going into there but you know i think the the thing that um you can't get away from on the positive side or the negative side of toxic toxic behaviors is that um our behaviors is that personal finance is 80 behavior it's only 20 head knowledge so the chances of you being in a relationship that are that dysfunctional and being wealthy yeah uh becoming wealthy in a dysfunctional setting is just almost impossible right because these things don't live in one nice little compartment over here uh and then not bleed over or not not bad bad metaphor but don't don't reach over into the other areas of your life i mean you can't be a punching bag in one area of your life and then suddenly be prosperous and healthy and winning at your career and winning at your wealth building and that kind of thing they just don't it's not we can't compartmentalize that tight right and one of the challenge with relational abuse of any kind is you accept that as a given you accept that as well some days are good days occasionally he'll come and cry and say and he's sorry and it's going to be okay and so you start trying to solve that inner chaos at the margins you start trying to think of well maybe i can get a better interest rate or maybe i should trade my car in or it's probably my job and you're and you distance yourself from this core nuclear reactor issue that is hey you're not safe your baby's not safe and this thing just escalates this way right so um to anyone the decisions you make on the money on the fringes to avoid the nuclear reactor at the center are never good decisions they're not because you're making them out of chaos right well and you're making them uh to uh in order to mask that's right and in order instead of dealing with with the core issues and so you know larry burkett used to say debt is not the problem it's the symptom there you go and so it's a symptom of a behavior well i heard you say something yesterday through the window that i think's worth reiterating you listened to her and you said hey hon you are worth being saved you're worth more than this and so anybody listening was in any sort of abusive situation exhale and drop your shoulders for a second and look up in the rearview mirror if you're driving and look in the mirror at your house you're worth being safe

Channel: The Ramsey Show - Highlights

Views: 939,758

Rating: 4.9316335 out of 5

Keywords: the dave ramsey show, budget money debt cash, real estate, insurance, how to make money, dave ramsey, save, credit card, compound interest, buying house, buy, snowball, Call The Police Right Now! (You And Your Son Are In Danger), 911, child, domestic abuse, domestic violence, dr john delony

Id: vouLINqRxxc

Length: 15min 23sec (923 seconds)

Published: Mon Jul 12 2021