Building Champions | Episode 14 | The Modern Man’s Podcast

all right guys we are here with episode 14 we have our very special guest John Riley AKA Johnny windshields uh John Riley is such an amazing Soul uh we have the same last name and we look very similar and I am proud to say that anytime people think he's my brother or my cousin I just go ahead and say yes we are um Johnny's a very unique Soul he uh he's such an amazing guy um we brought him on here for a lot of different reasons but when we see him as a dad that seems to be uh the most incredible blessing and to see that he's all hands on deck with his amazing little boy Maverick uh prior to Maverick coming into the world he was fortunate enough to become a stepdad to beautiful Abigail he's played an amazing role in her life um I can get emotional just thinking about it because I was talking to one of my friends earlier and like Dad overall in society is not what we make it look like as dads like you know if you go on the sheer numbers like there's a lot of places in the world and like in the United States that like when dad comes up there's a lot of beef you know whether dad's not around dad's choosing substances over the family you know Dad's nowhere to be seen dad left dad moved out of state moved you know to start another family you know whatever it may be so when we talk about being a dad a lot of times in here so far we've only had one or two guests thus far uh that haven't been dads but uh you know really the most amazing thing about John uh back when we were younger he used to say I'm not great at much but I'm a great friend and uh he truly is dude like you're such a giver you're such a lover and a Helper and uh you just share so many of these things that we talk about on a weekly basis so we're we're thrilled to have you here today buddy I appreciate it really welcome John yeah great to be here guys yeah man no and I feel the same way about you guys you know you guys are great friends I know Billy and I you know only have a short relationship together but you know it's been a great one it really has you know so I I remember getting linked up with py at at RWC and you being there running around with MAV and uh we got to the point now where Rosie comes and Rosie and MAV are similar in age every Sunday now when Rosie comes the first thing she says Sunday morning when Max is getting ready Maverick be there and it's not to I mean she loves MAV obviously but you pay attention to her like a couple weeks ago I was talking about it here you're rolling around going all out with all the kids on the mat and Rosie and MAV were just kind of hanging out they weren't wrestling they weren't on the mat you went over and sat down with them the two of them are there you come over you give them a big hug sweaty preoccupied whatever and you're still giving it their all your all that's it and not just to your kids to my kid too and I've seen you for years since I met you at the club on Sundays give all of you to other people's kids now you're getting to the yeah now you're getting to the point though where you get to incorporate your son in a real way and I see him getting out there a little more just like Rosie is and it's got to make you feel good just knowing the impact you've made on everybody else and the impact you're going to be able to make on your kid absolutely no and you pinpointed there and obviously as you know from you know my interactions with uh with Rosie she's just a doll you know she is and she's a tough little doll too Maverick's Maverick's gotten the you know the the uh not the sh the stick but he he's been the the nail or that the nail not the hammer like we like you like to tell everybody sometimes but she does a great job and it does I've told you I've told Zach it means the world to me especially like going there like she will she'll come right up to me like you're teaching a move and she'll just come up to me and sit next to me and hold on to me you know like watching very very uh patiently you know but that's the thr I really get out of it and I know pety does too you know this isn't um something that I've only been doing for a short amount of time I've been coaching kids since um you know right out of high school you know starting with with The Predator program and it just means a lot you know and they say you know happiness isn't just you know happiness that you get it's seeing the happiness in other people you know um but seeing it in kids is is the best thing ever you know what I mean it really is that's what really you know hits you you know you both are unique in the sense that as stressful as that room could be like I would never be able to cope with that now I could coach a football team they're a little older you're outside you could yell a little bit more because it's not echoing and there's less kids you a bunch of kids running around wild and neither of you really lose your cool you're pretty calm you're pretty collected and you could connect like football's easy all right you know get football ready put your hands up move your legs like we're just teaching them how to push people a little bit right now you're actually teaching moves and defense and techniques that's really difficult I can't get these kids to figure out how to put their hands up without falling and you got them taking shots and sprawling and you know they working on cradles and whatever you're doing yeah you had a the attention span this big of like a six-year-old let alone a three-year-old and you guys make it work that was pretty funny what was that two weeks ago I had to tap out in the first group what was that it was you and Johnny post I think I was like you guys take it from here I'm done they broke me and that's you know I think that's um something that we know that you know is going to come some sometimes especially with the younger group you know that like you said they do have a very short attention span and the tough thing with wrestling is um to point out in comparison with football and sometimes almost every other sport is every other sport has quick breaks you know what I mean football you do your you the play happens it's done in about less than 10 seconds you know you got 25 seconds to reset make another plan wrestling's non-stop the whistle blows unless you go out of Bounce or something or you get pinned it's non-stop action you know what I mean um but yeah it you know not to boast or brag about you know p and I here but I think it does you know it takes a certain individual to be able to deal with the um you know the patience level of young kids and just being able to go through all the Motions like you're mentioning you know teaching different moves you know you're not just standing in the same position every play you know kind of doing the same thing um but it's great man it's the best thing in the world giv back to to the sport that we love and that we know you know help mold us into the people that we are now you if you guys don't want to boast or brag I will because Sunday we had the Santa Showdown Max's first wrestling tournament wish was I didn't really expect much and um not that I didn't not that I don't think he could succeed his first tournament he doesn't he's never done it before you guys had him prepped he knew what to do he knew to get out there and he didn't get pinned and he didn't pin he wrestled three periods straight through for his first match without a break no breathers like you said just pure fight you and you equipped him for that not me I could root him on all day you guys gave him the skill I'm not going to say the skill set cuz he's not really refined but you gave him the ability to fight and battle and he fought and he battled to his first Victory 87 not because of me but because of you and you and Zach conliff and the work the knowledge that you've given him so I'll I'll brag on both of you in that sense and I appreciate that I be you should brag on him too you know we're just the teachers he's the one that went out there had the courage to step out there by himself and it wasn't just him Rocco got got his first got his first tournament Victory uh Francis won Jack Jack Gavin Roman all the young boys that you guys are working with on Sundays and Monday and Tuesday when it's running M all showed up and they all showed out and Max was in out there in his RWC singlet had his RWC shorts on I got my pullover on that's a testament to you guys I appreciate it but that's what it's all about you know seeing the even though they might seem small you know they add up over a long time you know seeing those little wins and it gives those kids especially in wrestling I feel um being an individualized sport it gives young kids such great confidence you know it's one of the toughest sports to do but the confidence that they build knowing that you know they went out there by themselves yeah they had you they had us in the you know in the back yell and what moves to do maybe it's still a split Instinct Man by the time I say hey shooting outside single the other kids already moved you're not in the same position you know so it really makes them um both more confident in themselves but also more humble too you know cuz like you said you know not every match is a win this the first match and the second match that you mentioned with with Max were totally different but he came off like you said in the second match a little a little less disheveled than the first one because it was just different but it's a humbling sport but it definitely builds so much confidence in young kids um so credit to him and all the kids that just you know keep coming every Sunday and keep going out there on the mat you know that's what it's all about I know yeah we were talking a little bit before we came that like our approach is is definitely unique um and it seems to be very rare because I was observing a lot of conversations amongst parents kids it's chaos bro it's I mean these tournaments are absolute chaos and I feel like the adults like lose sight of the fact that like there's a little kid that who's growing up in this world that we're in today in 2023 who's out there by themselves and like some of these coaches some of these parents some of the things that they were saying to these kids I was like man I wanted to go up and give these kids a hug man the guy's like you know freaking out on somebody for losing or and that's so rough man especially to see you know young kids um you don't want to demoralize them you want them to only want to progress and be better in the sport and when it comes down to it I hate to say it about a sport like wrestling it's definitely grown since we were younger which is awesome but the longevity of becoming a professional athlete in wrestling let alone any sport yeah guys we're talking less than 1% so why you really going to beat up and yell at a young kid no matter what sport they're in you know what I mean it's not going to help I think some of those parents or coaches are living vicariously through the kid and maybe they don't have any accolades for thems and now they're trying to achieve that level of success through their son or daughter now for me I've kind of followed Petey's approach and you know I'm blessed in the sense that I don't know a ton about wrestling I wrestled just to stay in shape I was terrible at it my cousin mark was a good wrestler Michael was a decent wrestler but I got Pete and I got Zach who have older kids and have kind of been there so when I question what I'm doing and I see other parents maybe doing something different I have a sounding board and Pete and Zach and you know they're not rushing their kids or in their face screaming at them like we saw the other day and I'm good with that like balance me out show me how to handle it to set my kid up best for Success so mace M out there killing it swaged out and I've never once seen you put your son down get aggressive with him I mean of course you want what's best for your son but you're not trying to motivate him by cutting his legs out from under him telling him he sucks or you know whatever I heard a lot of really really surprising talk from parents to children and it's like It's upsetting me too man yeah my Approach with Mason is definitely been definitely been a little bit different uh but I've been I've been listening and observing for a long time and like Vinnie santanello from sh thing he had like a much different approach you know kind of like what what I'm trying and you know like we're all kind of trying on like the sustain sustainability of like long-term wrestling success or just like liking the sport and like wanting to be around it and like Vinnie's been trying to coach these parents at sh thing for a long time and he's like I didn't even put my kids in youth States until like Middle School his kids are both wrestling D1 right now they're both the starters on pit like you know uh both of his sons had like a lot of success in high school and like guys your third grade State title how sustainable is it can you keep your foot some kids may be some kids maybe but like David Taylor just put up a post about his wrestling Journey when he was young and his approach now as a coach and it looks much different he's like a lot of yeah he was saying like a lot of him and his he said him and his brother didn't necessarily get injured too much but he said a lot of those kids end up getting injured you know what are we chasing here like what's the end goal and I've been telling everybody I want the the kids that I coach to love wrestling from when they're 17 to 22 that would be ideal and when I was talking to the intermediate group last night I talked to him for like 20 minutes and I was talking to one of the coaches beforehand and I said sometimes the biggest wins in wrestling happen off the mat you don't realize until you're in the workforce and you're and you're outworking these other guys you're showing up and you're just doing things that nobody else is going to do or you're persevering overcoming obstacles like all these things that the sport taught you you could have had the the best wrestling resume or the worst wrestling resume but as long as you stayed the course throughout the real wins come off the mat and that's been my Approach you've heard me say it I don't I don't want my son to to be a loser but I'm okay with him losing now on a wrestling mat it's equipping him with a skill set later in life to cope to learn to work hard and to learn to overcome those obstacles and you know what maybe in a different environment learning I mean he could be at a private club been doing whatever with whoever but I don't know if he'd get the same values that you've instilled on him right now or more importantly that you've instilled on me because you've taught me how to be a wrestling parent just like Vinnie's trying to teach his parents now you taught me where I'm at so you're saying it sets them up for the bigger win off theat later in life that's what I'm looking for for my kid especially now especially now yeah but I can totally see how these people get get caught up in it like when Mason left the Santa Showdown last year I'm driving home thinking okay I can I can bring him the Triumph I can go here I can go there I can bring him to stay qualifier now blah and like he sitting in the back like watching my phone and like he's he's not asking me to go to Club or or go to state qualifier or anything like that so I see yeah so I can see why they kind of you know get I don't know I don't know I've been saying before like a lot of uh false narratives get created in the parents the parents part of practice whether they're in the hallway or um Steve Rivera has like a parent section like in the club that just the parents H in and they're going back and forth they're creating their own narrative on like what's supposed to happen and and we're seeing that amongst these young families that are surrounded by us and they're kind of getting false advice um from from maybe the wrong people and they're kind of following each other I think at the end of the day you know as parents and obviously I hope this but I know I can definitely speak on it for the three of us you know we obviously only want what's best for the kids in everything that they do um and that's why I've always encouraged um you know in the past you remember the McKenzie boys you know their uncle took them to every sport that they want to do and let them try everything one was more of a football star the other one was more of a well they're actually both very good wrestlers but um you know one was more into football you know got a full scholarship to Yale for for football um let them try everything and see what they're good at but only P don't push it to the point that they get tired or they get bored with it you know what I mean you want them to just gradually like I said before you want them to just gradually grow and keep learning new things and enjoying it you know um and I I think the only way to do that is to let them do it at their Pace you know what I mean Rob Mel had a similar outlook on that we were golfing one day uh might have been one of the pal outings and we were just talking I Max was probably still like four at the time and we're just shooting the [ __ ] and he goes you know got to be careful you don't want to burn him out when he's 10 you want him to burn out when he's 20 he said you know you can't push too hard there are parents that go over the the top early it's not necessary and um I know you guys all know Rob and you're you're pretty close and he'll be a guest on here at some point but he's coming on next week yeah and it's similar philosophies and I like that I've been wise enough to surround myself with like like-minded people that can impart all the same wisdom onto on to me because if I call you or I call you or I call Rob or Zach it's basically the same response yeah but you have to make sure that you tread lightly with some of those other voices are coming in don't take those no there's certain voices literally take those with a grain of salt let them do what they do and you know when their son hates the sport and hates them like that's not your problem at that point but just don't don't don't follow that no I like the the map that you've put uh put out for us um you know you've set a great example and I see you following it with MAV I mean you're not throwing him out there like demanding he gets on the mat and starts working like he can sit and play with Rosie on the side until he wants to get out there man I'm good with it we only went to the Santa Showdown cuz Max Max found out Jack Jack was going and when Jack Jack was going Max said I'd like to go pora and I yeah your old babysitter son he out yeah first place finish had a grinch saw was awesome but uh a little I got pinned by the Grinch today he's walking around [ __ ] jacked out of his mind I said max you want to go watch him he goes no dad I I want to I want to wrestle nice all right so let's go if you want to go I'll never tell you no but I'm also never going to tell you we're going if you don't want to go like that's not what we're doing here well and I think what I can kind of um you know Resort back to with Pete and I's experience in wrestling um you know we didn't start there was no program in Howell until the mid 90s you know I think 95 was the first year I want to believe and I was in there 96 I think you were right after me but either way we didn't start till we were about 8 n 10 years years old okay in our wrestling career we got a lot of these kids now I mean Mavs 3 yeah he's you know he's not shooting any you know All-Star double legs like Jordan Burrows or nothing but a lot of these kids are starting younger now too and even more of the emphasis is letting them be a kid too you know what I mean that's why we keep it so fun that's why I kind of made that joke like you know you were like prepared to like you know get Mason you know Triumph lessons and private lessons everything and he's in the backseat thinking about oh when I get home what am I going to do with those WWE wrestlers in the ring you know what I mean like at the same time as again as much as you want them to succeed in it who knows guys they could wake up tomorrow and be like you know what I think I want to go try gymnastics or I want to go try basketball or something you know obviously we're always going to root for you know wrestling not basketball but again you know you got to let them make their own choices too you know you can only you can only steer them so hard I was talking to Zach yesterday and you know his dad was was pretty intense with with the whole wrestling and stuff you know and now big Rod's a grandpa to the sport and he's pretty much telling Zach like he he's kind of schooling him on some of the things that maybe he sees now as a grandpa that he didn't necessarily see when it was his boy out there kind of tell you know he's kind of telling Zach like dude at the end of the day it doesn't have to matter like you know the success that they he shows up to everything big know I was watching the Grandpa's dude my dad big Rod Robbie Neil's Dad they were all kind of I kind of all saw them around the same time Johnny post dad you'll kind of see him around we see a lot of these grandpas that I remember rooting on their kids when we were kids and now you could just see their approach is different they're just happy to be there you know they're happy their grandkids out on the mat even from the hospital cuz I called my father before the match and I called my father after the match and I don't know how my dad was with me when I was a kid you could hear how proud he was hearing the outcome but I also know that if the outcome of Max's first match was a loss my father would have still been proud just that he completed the test That's it man and you know if his heal expectations shift for the grandpas I think yeah and that's what I was going to say I know if his health was different he'd be at every tournament he could or match supporting his grandson but like a guy like big Rod not only is he out there to see his grandkids I went to how's Varsity match against maror the other night he's a super there he's a Super Fan he don't miss nothing he don't miss nothing no he loves the sport and to and to Great attest too um you can correct me if I'm wrong I don't think he ever wrestled he didn't he didn't some stories about he would go in the wrestling room back in the day he was you were going to say he was a star gymn star gymnast yeah and so were the so were the boys when they were younger he got some stories that he would go into the wrestling room and like not know any moves and he'd be like effing these kids out yeah like the high school kids back then I don't doubt it with Dad yeah a lot of us were first generation wrestlers so we really only got whatever our dads were kind of telling us or putting on us like I talk about my dad he was a very supportive wrestling Dad but he he he would just say like listen I don't know just listen to your coach but he was always there for me and like the the supportive aspect was was amazing to me yeah you know big Rod big Rod he would be driving us a tournaments you'd have ACDC cranking all fired up and all Ed up and you know I remember I remember big Rod uh I remember seeing big Rod at regions you know and I went to Freel Township you know a lot of my friends went to Howell and uh like I would see him at these tournaments and he'd give me a look and [ __ ] go get him be and I like yeah you get me all Juiced up dud dud you know but there's a time and place for that too where you need that look like it's time to let the Beast out and [ __ ] get after no I vividly remember him in particular seeing me before matches and I would tell you guys I'd be a nervous wreck and I would see him and he would give me mad confidence right because like no one else was really in my ear back then like nobody was like telling me not that I needed to hear out the man or anything but like when when when there's an adult that's confident in you that's like I'm like oh [ __ ] you're right dude I am [ __ ] ready for this match Rob thank you man and it was random stuff like remember at the Raco Center they had like the Dipping Dots out there like he'd be at the snack stand and I'd be like end up in that hallway and kind of just cross paths with him at the right time and then you know he just kind of walks away to the stand and I'm walking away like oh man I'm thinking about all the times when he was driving us to the tournaments and like to know someone in the stands or in your corner you know is there rooting for you can make can make a world of difference um 100% um but you were also at that age prepared for that like there's parents that'll try and Juice their kid up with more than a look obviously at this point like I saw it Sunday they're not ready for that like but it your regions you're like kind of like a man at that point it's time you need that look sometimes that kick in the ass some point Max is is going to need that kick in the ass if he continues wrestling and I hope there's one of you two gentlemen or Zach there to give him that kick in the ass cuz I'm going be in the corner shaken with nerves just like I was on Sunday yeah well I think again like as I said before you know it builds a lot of confidence in kids doing an indiv individual sport I'm sorry like wrestling um especially the fact that it's physical too um very demanding on an individual so I feel like like you were saying if you can Pace it okay and let it grow naturally and enjoy and everything again it's not just going to set you up for being a good wrestler but it's going to make you a great individual you're going to be humble in situations where you know uh something didn't go right okay um but you're also going to be tough enough to you know to stand your ground and um you know and persevere through the hard times you less I not not that I'm you know proud to say that you know that I did it in this fashion but you know just from like a cutting weight standpoint you know what I mean like that was something that I definitely don't wish on anybody moving forward you know young kids included especially um but being able to sit there and cut you know 10 12 lbs you were like the ultimate weight C back in the day and well for that story yeah I was about 13 lbs overweight and I had 20 hours to make weight and the only reason it's such a great story is because in when you go to uh Howell High School they had the wall Champions just like they do at every school um and I always had a couple kids like Pascarella and stuff that I was just just behind you know what I mean it's I could wrestle my best match but I just couldn't beat them when it counted in like districts and stuff so senior year I lose 13 lbs in 20 hours and then I win that Holiday Tournament the next day which finally got my name up on the wall you go um but just to have that discipline to know that okay for the next 20 hours I can't eat anything I could barely drink anything five times how you feel and then an hour after I weigh in I have to go out there and wrestle yeah oh felt like crap I mean literally after weighing in you know the first thing you want is a bunch of food and everything but you know you can't do that much so just even a little bit of Gatorade and bagel made me almost want to like vomit like I took a couple bites and I was like all right I'm good did I remember seeing you at like Gold's Gym on Route n oh dude and like I'd be over there just kind of like working out like getting a workout in Johnny being a sauna on the in the sauna and then over on the treadmill I get you know get some my encouragement from seeing uh Steve Stein's Jack Jack photo on the wall on all tan like all right I can go do this yeah so you were mentally tough enough and resilient and that's what I think you know contributes to a lot of my mental toughness today in life you know I mean life is tough as heck right now for any of us um you know with how expensive it is being parents um you know to uh to our children you know it's it's really tough but and don't forget you're running a business every day you don't have that safety net of a guaranteed paycheck you got it all on the line every day and you're still approaching life with the same passion control and H comfort's the wrong word but you make it seem like you're very comfortable in the space you're in I apprciate I appreciate you saying that whe whether I hide it well or I I do actually feel that comfortability is because I know it depends on me it depends on my performance just like it did in wrestling you know what I mean if I don't wake up I mean like I told you earlier I woke up yesterday couldn't move my back you know still have to get out there get some jobs done um you know but again that comes with the perseverance of just knowing like it's on me and if I don't get out there and bust my butt you know family's not going to have what they want for dinner you know Bill I'm betting on me 10 out of 10 times just like you you guys got it bet on yourselves 100% and hopefully my son learns that I think he will he will just based on me being his father and role model that I hope to be I hope he gets it but through the wrestling Community I think he'll learn that yeah Johnny had to go all he had to put all the chips in he had to go all in on himself with this and I'm so glad you had the confidence to no it was great and I give a lot of credit to both you you guys um and and Z too I think both of you were there the day I walked into certified and I was just like dude I was like I think I'm going to go out on my own and it just looked at me like dude just do it you know what I mean like you can do it you've been doing it for you know x amount of years you know what you're doing you know and you guys have definitely given me plenty of um opportunity with giving me referrals and stuff so greatly appreciate that um but yeah man it's a great experience and uh like you said you know I hope that instills the same confidence in my son just like I know it will for you you know who cares about them being the best wrestler if we can you know influence them to be the best human you know the best person to everybody else that's what really matters you know so I see mace is like solid kid really great he's always sweet the same with Zach's boys I gave Zach credit this morning that he didn't realize that he was Ed cuz Jackson didn't wrestle on Sunday Lucas did everybody's on the mat warming up by like mat 3 at the beginning and Max is out there Zach was was warming up with Lucas Jackson took Max to the side and was warming him up and I don't mean warming him up like running in circles with him he was drilling Max Zach didn't even realize it so like you guys are all setting stand now we have younger kids but you have an older boy he's got two older boys they're leading by example that's it and I'm not saying that right now they're the best wrestlers in any room but they might be the the best person at their age right now is an overall person taking the time just let's talk about Jackson with my son or I've told you a million times I've seen mace interact with my son in such a positive sweet Way Jackson didn't have to take Max to the side and and drill with him but he did Y and that's that's what success is for me that's the success I want today tomorrow and in 10 years for my kid just be a good person 100% and like you said and we've all said you know that comes from what Pet's instilling at the program you know and obviously when I'm there my people will tell you my words are damn near sorry verbatim for what you say you know um be a good person at school be be good at home listen to your parents you know what I mean um and it shows in that kind of instance you know y he's learned that from what Pete is instilling the kids you know every practice ends with listen be a good teammate be good if you see somebody that you know is having trouble go sit with them go talk to them you know what I mean just be a good person yeah yeah sometimes I feel like I talk and other times I feel like I need to talk more because wrestling we drill 100% physical but it's probably 90% mental and like I got to see the other side that I got to see the kids that lost in the wrestle backs that then just couldn't couldn't get mentally back you know they just you know went out there and kind of lost to some kids and there was a lot of overwhelmingness there were seven mats there were two different gyms there were a few kids that I was talking to last night that didn't have a coach in their corner at all and like they were almost defeated before the match even talked but I'm like hey guys next time you're out there and there is no coach just realize like John was saying like the coach is going to be there but you you really can't hear them yeah like the so for next time you end up out there by yourself my bad nobody else was there but we're we are in two different gyms just know that the coach is probably going to tell you to pick down or he's going to say defer yep as long as you know that like you you know what you're doing you know what the expectations are no one thinks you're going to go undefeated your entire wrestling career um but they also got to be confident enough maybe that's hard for a little kid not to have a coach I get it but yeah they have to realize and maybe a parent has to step in at some point and just say I got it the coach isn't here he's going to show up at some point right we're going to get through this like I don't know [ __ ] about wrestling but I know enough to tell my kid go out there you got this the coach is going to be here in 2 minutes or he'll be here by the end of the first period we're hoping but just go out there and do remember what coaches taught you you know what I mean that's the tough thing about tournaments you know I was as we spoke about it you know I coached for 14 years before I stopped to do refin and uh you know tournaments are the hardest thing to do you know especially when it's something like this where you run um you know a private program okay and it really is only you showing up there on weekends for a tournament you know what I mean um you want to give your love and support everybody but at those tournaments you just can't you only have so much there's only one you know you know and it's hard for you know young kids uh young kids parents um and the kids to understand that you know what the heck are we supposed to do without a coach I know but as you explained you know if we talk to you about how the match goes you know what position to take and how to wrestle the only thing you're really looking for me and I I love being there that's that's the whole part of uh the whole reason for doing coaching but they um you know they lose that uh comfortability so to say without us you know one of us there and that's thank God or luckily you had Dave Porter and Lou riggy show up to do the little sharks cuz think about how much more your burden would have been if those guys didn't take responsibility for the little sharks cuz you know everybody's looking at you cuz there I mean there were a lot of little sharks showed up I mean what were there seven kids six kids now add that to your already big workload D had a tough day You' had a real tough day it was already a tough day with with all the help yeah you know with the two different gyms and whatnot but um so we talked a lot about wrestling but when I did the intro you know I talked about John being such an amazing dad do you remember those days when like Zach had Jackson Lucas I had Mason you were like Longing To Be A D even prior to that I remember a conversation um I want to say Stephanie brought something up uh Zach's wife brought something up about asking you know what you want to do or something and um I'd said I said my dream job honestly would to be to would be to be a stay at- home dad you know and I've almost gotten there you know I think I think a couple more years you know we can we can pan out and have a couple uh vans on the road and other guys working where I can just be the manager so to say and really be that stay home Dad but that's the great thing about you know uh you know run your own business like I do that I can you know set my own hours you know and have all that opportunity being able to take Maverick to school every day and pick him up well luckily thank you to my daughter Abigail who you mentioned earlier cuz she will be picking up today um great benefit obviously of having an older daughter um but yeah having that personal time to you know take him to school every day pick him up you know um take off if I need to you know when when I want to to the doct it yeah I don't have to call and sick and be like hey I don't think I can make it today you know and next thing you know you know I forget that I posted a picture on Facebook when I'm at the park with my son or something I could just that one reasons you decided to go out on your own um yeah definitely you know U my wife's a teacher you know so she has off in the Summers it works out really well that um you know I'm not stuck in that 9 to-5 grind you know the last job I had was sales um with Verizon and I was driving all over the state mostly to South Jersey you know I couldn't imagine doing that right now um you know cuz Maverick gets dropped off at 9:00 in the morning so my work hour you know I'm really grinding because my work day doesn't really start till roughly I take him go back home so let's say 9:30 I'm actually getting in the van then I got to get back home by 2:30 so I'm grinding from 10:30 to or 9:30 to 2:30 every day squeezing it all in um so you do a lot at the house too like you cook every night um I try to especially when Amy's uh when Amy's teaching you know during she but listen she she's definitely um a big help at home with that and especially especially during the summer you know during the summer she kind of knows that I'm going to be up as early as I can if I got to get up at 6 o'clock and get to body shops or stuff like that early in the morning I'm going to get out as early as I can so I can also get back as early as I can you know exactly um exactly but that it's just amazing like the reason why I bring up like the cooking and like the picking up and everything like you know having a wife who who is a teacher and she was a teacher of the year a few years ago which is she was Amy is such an amazing Soul I'm so I'm so glad you guys found each other um but you know it it's rare to have somebody like that like I don't do any cooking really at the house like maybe breakfast you should try yeah like just it doesn't even cross my mind like I literally walk in I I like walk into the house and like dinner's already ready like Abby has spoiled me in a lot of different ways that's one of the things yeah I was going to take it back not to cut you what you what you had mentioned um with what you do with Max and Rosie I've seen the pictures of just to Cho in the vegetables and stuff and I actually hopefully Maverick won't watch this but uh I actually Santa got him a chopping set for Christmas one those safety ones but um as you mentioned like cooking stuff like as weird as it seems like I actually whether it's a little bit of OCD or not I like doing the dishes I don't mind cooking at all I'm not doing dishes because at least if I know I'm cooking I'm gonna have either my my choice of sauce or you know what Green eats I want to put in it or I'm just going to pick the whole meal and they don't have a choice um but it is no it's very calming it's relaxing to me especially you walk in the house all fired up whether it was just a busy day or a [ __ ] up day you sit down I've said it a million times with an onion it's just chop Serene it's peaceful it's repetitive there's what what's the worst that happens you [ __ ] up dinner and you got to order some pizzas there's nothing stressful about that situation no it's great see I take my aggressive my my pumped up day and all all the uh stress and pissed off that I am and take it out with a sponge on some dishes you know oh there you go I can't I can't do dishes I'm not doing it um so you were hitting me up about scooping up that sauna when are you did did you lock that in off a Marketplace yet uh yeah I'm hoping to go this weekend and pick it up I thought building one Well he kind of that's what I want to do but to be honest if I can get one at the price that I'm going to get it at there's no reason for me to build it all right work SM work smarter not harder he was telling me you were telling me you were going to get the coals and then I was telling Billy that you were going to actually build it freaking thing this dude is so good with his hands too by the way and like the fact like I introduced you as being such a great friend like this dude has done so many projects at my house like literally before he had the windshield business a basketball hoop our basketball hoop landed on my windshield and Abby in the morning looked out the window and she's like uh babe there's a basketball hoop on the Wind and I'm like who cares Johnny will be over here like I didn't even I didn't even get stressed about it I was like oh John will come by don't even she's like how are you so calm I'm like cuz I know John's gonna pick up right away he's probably going to laugh about it and he's going to be here like we we have the solution like John is just like the Swiss army knife friend and I'm I'm so glad has it always been that way always been that way he's always been the go-to guy always always been that way and um I'm just I'm just glad that Abigail and Maverick get to feel what we get to feel you know because like I I I saw a video Ed myet put up and he said that like you know when his dad was at his deathbed like just his family was there and he's like you know like your golf Bros aren't going to be there your buddies from high school aren't going to be there like when you're old and you're on that bed like your family is going to be there so I'm just so glad for John that he has he has that family cuz he's been given us that loving family nature ever since we're younger and he instantly gave it to me I'm sure now that's how he rolls I don't know a lot of people tell me like my neighbor told me this weekend that a holiday dinner that uh I'm very intimidating and she was afraid of me when she first saw me I don't know I guess I kind of give off that Vibe a little bit but tattoos in the bald head I kind of give that vibe off maybe weird too yeah but Johnny like welcomed me like instantly and uh our friendship grew pretty quick yeah because he's easy to grow with he's like bro you got to be like one of the easiest people to talk to just I me for you guys to to be friends so long and Zach and me to get connected with you guys later on in life and you accept me so openly I can only imagine what it would have been like if we were friendly 15 years ago it was fun it was fun you missed out I've heard the stories though boy I've heard the stor he did but I think between your your childhood and our childhood if we did cross path it probably for a reason that we didn't we might not be here having this conversation the same way right now probably better that we joined up now exactly as calm and chill as you guys are and the bonds that you have like I have lifelong bonds with people but some people just never progressed in certain ways and stay the same person they always were I've I mean I haven't watched it but I've heard the stories of you guys oh God and I've heard the stories that let me see the growth you've had today and it's not like one of you outpace the other you guys climbed the ladder Al together now maybe you had had a had Maverick at a little bit later of an age and they had kids a little younger but as for emotionally and maturity wise you guys all kind of took those steps together thankfully thankfully the way we were like when we were younger like it it was it wasn't sustainable dude like we might not even be [ __ ] we were doing everybody you know all guys are Knuckleheads when we all just got so hyped and we were just for whatever if that was doing gainers off a big Rod's roof into the pool that's what it was I mean there was no there was no one in our crew that was like hey this is a bad idea like idea like all right yeah but we've always had that great camaraderie and Brotherhood since you know since we started you know and you guys have talked about it too you know Pete's very thankful to the phone call that you know all of his friends you know me being included made you know I was going to bring that up but you know we would all do it for each other in an instant you know what I mean and not just that you know just like he said you got a you know a clogged toilet you know some a mirror broke or something you need to come you need me to come hang something you know you need me to come fix the windshield you know you know if there was something in that Avenue or whatever that I needed and same thing you know if I needed you you came got my car put a new starter and battery in it within you know hours that morning you know we have that bond that friendship that we are willing to pick up the phone at any time for each other because you know that's what we are you know and it's hard I I agree and I thank you for pointing that out you know um I'm very thankful for the you know at least handful if not more uh friends that I've had basically come from wrestling okay um that have been 20 year 30 year plus friends not a lot of people can say that you know um and but it means a lot it really does you know and we'll continue that way that's just the way we were brought up and the way we hope to inluence our kids so I mean I have lifelong friends my best friend Mark um my childhood friend Bobby uh were I think he was my first friend growing up um lost my first tooth in his backyard that's my guy we talk every day but just life pulls Us in different directions right so I have kids he doesn't have kids yet Mark also doesn't have kids yet so like they're all doing their thing and they were the closest people to me it's allowed me not allowed me wrong term but because they're doing their thing without kids and living life and I see them all the time and talk still but I've gotten to connect with you guys who have kids and like I don't feel pressured to make my kids friends parents my friends because it kind of really came Pretty Natural it came so natural yeah it's not force it's not fake like and it's genuine I know that I could pick up the phone to call you or you and you guys know it's the same call me at any time it's genuine and I love that I was able to not replace I don't want to use that word but uh filled the void left by my friend still being able to go out and socialize and live a single kid-free life that I can't live I was able to replace that void with you guys and it feels great that's awesome that's awesome it really is man but yeah it happens in life you know you get to a point sometimes where you know you kind of you know you don't not talk or anything or hang out as you don't hang out as much because you know things change but you know I'm sure you still you know uh talk with those guys all the as soon yeah I was going to say as much as you can but we're more than happy to uh to well py more than anybody you know welcome and happy to have you in our lives man you know it was a great addition to our group oh defin and you know you guys and you guys opened me up to I wouldn't have met Scott without coming to your program I mean maybe we would have hooked up during football but we probably wouldn't have the same same relationship if I didn't see him every Sunday at the club and we had talked and then this guy's cherry picking parents out of the wrestling club to work yeah you know you might not be wrong over there recruit while we're practice Yeah well you know it's working out I'm just I like to surround myself with people that if I got to be at work every day we might as well be around like-minded good people now I don't need the and I I told this to Scott when he came to work I didn't hire you to be the best service writer or service manager around I didn't hire you for your amazing Automotive knowledge cuz you have zero I hired you to be the best Scott Corti that there is because that's who I want on my team I love Scott and I love what just him as a person he brings to the table definitely he doesn't have to know [ __ ] about cars but just know enough that when you don't know something just come and ask me I'll give you the answer you be you and we'll be all right that was an amazing solution for for Scott because like he wasn't love like you know how how Zach changed Fields you know Scott was in that similar thing where he's like man my quality of life is freaking wh with this job and I'm just glad that Scott was able to see that and he had you and he was able to to have something same thing with Zach I mean Zach was working crazy hours with his boys he really disconnected from like I wasn't really talking to Zach that frequently back then you know he's waking up early he was grinding all day but he wasn't in a great wasn't in a great like mental state and like ever since he's been with you like a lot a lot of lot good has come and he doesn't miss anything for his kids I promise them I said listen one is a great dad I can't promise I'll make you rich but I promise you will never miss something for your family it's amazing and that's something you can't give put can't get back you can't get back time man I think that's invaluable because my father even when my dad had a really small business not that we're we're big now but we have significantly more employees and significantly more going on than when my dad was in control but even when he had five guys he didn't want anybody to miss anything if your kid had an event or you know was playing titly Wings go yeah be there support your kids that's true and we we have the same philosophy now and that's one thing that I was able to offer Scott or or Zach was that piece of mind that your kids got something to do go yeah absolutely no you're right that's huge couldn't agree more um so John Billy talks a lot about his dad and uh some of the some of the health issues that that he's been having as of late um how's how's Jack doing I saw he put up a video he shared it did you see what he put up yesterday what he he did um he did like the Italian Guido the is remix he do it it was really funny and I was thinking about him and I was actually watching his face on there as he's talking and I saw like a lot of you like in in his uh physical Expressions uh everything else um but I know I know he's been through the ringer as of late and I know that you were really kind of carrying that like how did you kind of handle um the overwhelmingness of Life on Top of the uncertainty of your Dad's health like what was that doing to you mental and like what did you have to do for yourself to make sure that you weren't taking some of that stress out on your family well you know and I appreciate you asking that he's doing very well now um definitely had a scary episode out there um and for those obviously don't know you know he lives in California so it's a little you know more stressful not being able to you know get in the car and go right to the hospital give him a hug if you know if that's all he needs or all I can provide you know um and kind of surprising that he wasn't a wrestler in his life because he's definitely dealt with a lot of uh you know stress and tough situations that he's you know constantly persevered through um so I definitely credit a lot of my um you know strength in that in that position to to him as well um but it's surprising my wife asked me the same thing I got the phone call saying he was at the hospital XYZ happened and Amy's just like how are you so calm right now and I was just like what can I do the only thing I could do right now is give him you know my love and support through the phone I said I'd be a you know a a crying terrified mess uh I hate to say it if I could drive to the hospital and sit there with him you know holding his hand you know uh through the process um but luckily you know his wife was out there to be with them you know Side by uh side by side to get him through it um it's tough man you know just like Billy's going through with his dad you know watching your parents you know we all know we're getting older and that you know that inevitable day is going to come um but it's tough you know you've had somebody that has supported you your whole life um through everything and to not be able to really do anything you know um you know you can take them to every appointment that they need to or you know wherever they need to be whatever medicines they need to take um but unfortunately you know sometimes you know there's nothing you can really do granted I'm lucky in this position that they were able to put a stint in his heart and everything and you know he's good at new got to change a diet a little bit and had I'm sure he was a little more upset that he had to you know take a couple weeks off of golf living out in California that's something he does every uh all day long but um no I appreciate you ask him but no he's he's doing well and uh it was it was it was stressful that I couldn't be there for him but knowing that he had support um out there in California with him um going through the process of getting everything done um I was I was kind of at ease knowing that you know they were going to be there for him and you know they're um you know his wife inz and and her family are great people so uh I knew they'd be in uh he'd be in good hands and I knew I'd be getting a phone call that everything would be all right you know just trusting that uh you know trusting in faith so to say you know knowing that was in his time you know D I see your dad when you got married and like dude he's so proud of you and like as his your man yeah just to um you know to be friends with somebody for that long that you could then see their dad be a grandpa you know like Jack same to you yeah we've known each other like you yeah we've known each other for 20 plus years so I can I can feel you on that yeah and like that day that you got married dude like he was so thrilled and like he had health issues prior to that you know so like that was a that was a big day for him you know obviously it's a big day for you but you know just to be aware of other people's emotions like I just remember I I always take it all in wherever I'm at and whether people see me observing or not like I'm always taking it all in and I'm not really judging anybody but I'm just I'm just observing and I just vividly remember just seeing Jack's joy that day like dude just just just unbelievable then you know after that Maverick came along and then know anytime he's here in Jersey you know and he gets to spend that time with Maverick like I know he's just he's just so thrilled and you know like I said just so proud of you man like I'm not in a rush to be a grandpa at all but that grandparent well we were talking about earlier that grandparent role is special dude like my dad is a mush now like he freaking he was a freaking Rock dude like he wouldn't show any emotion backs all jacked like you give him a hug you try to give him a hug it's just all solid but now he's sof for those kids it's more you're more of the spoiler not the not the ruler you know what I mean not theom says it's now her time to say yes she doesn't have to say she can say yes all the time and my mother loves playing that role she is the world's best grandmother in my eyes everything she can do she does for my kids but uh my dad kind of got robbed of that and even in his capacity today he loves it and no or what it is Max could say he wants X Y andz my dad's like get the kid whatever buy him a dinosaur you know but they don't have to don't tell marri they don't have to say no now so they can be softed exactly you know you said growing up your dad was this big tough guy I grew up and you'll relate to this being that your dad has some some health issues I've said it I'm watching my Superman crumble yeah and I mean that cuz when I was growing up there was nothing I didn't think my father could conquer it was the toughest guy I knew big old school mentality you know like I said shove that [ __ ] down we're not crying boy let's go and uh now I see him and before his stroke and all his health issues came after that that all happened right as Max turned one he was the biggest softy in the world when that kid was born instantly he was at the hospital right away I mean just wouldn't put the kid down yeah but they get to they get to change so like right now I got to tell my kid no when they have kids I'll be able to say yes all the time maybe everybody won't think I'm so intimidating looking it's almost like it's almost like when they become a grandpa you get to see that like they're actually a human being like they're not just emotion that they were holding back yes 100% uh John was there when Mason was born and I was still drinking back then and John and I went out to uh remember that van you had me and John went out to the van the van I had and uh remember the band I'm talking about I Billy barow bil's birthday today or did I miss it yesterday I think it's today I think it's today I think it's today is today 20th no tomorrow is so we're good okay Bill if you're watching we'll be calling you tomorrow either way great no great another great Billy in our lives exactly I think it was Billy baras van but uh but John and I went out and I VI I vividly remember we had I think it was like Blackberry brandy or uh probably or U what's the other stuff Fireball Fireball I was going to say fire yeah all right uh yeah Fireball so John and I went out to the parking lot whatever but I I got to see my dad like I got to see like the first time he like showed emotion like in my whole life like not show emotion but yeah you got to see that soft it was just pure joy dude that was like such a special special moment I think to them that's kind of like um you know like you mention with the whole getting married thing I think you know seeing your child especially um you know a father at a son relationship ship you know it's a really tight Bond just like all parents are but um that moment of seeing your child get married you know and seeing your child have a child you know I feel like that as a parent is the biggest success you know what I mean CU you know that's what happens generation from generation you know and in our case we're lucky enough that not only that but those they not only get to be grandpas but they also know that their legacy is continuing on because that last name is still attached to it you know what I mean exactly um yeah that's powerful stuff yeah so hence to my cousins keep trying you know you can have you'll have a boy too keep that Riley name going um but yeah I think wait so Brian and Mikey both have girls they both have girls right now yep just got a Christmas card though Brian's having another one this upcoming year so fingers cross obviously healthy baby's the best but conratulations thank you hopefully the love boy too but I think that that adds a little something to it you know to being a a father and then a grandpa and then you have a grandson you're like dude i' I've AC this is it this is the top of the you know top of the mountain so to say you're right man that last and that will bring out that soft side of you you know what I mean that you've been holding back like man I wanted to I had to be a tough guy all these years but now I got this little guy to look at for me my for years when I was in my 20s early 20s let's say I uh I got around and um my parents were well aware of where I was at in life and my dad used tell me you better be being careful cuz you were not ready to be a father and I kind of used to get like offended by that CU I didn't know what he meant and when I had Max now yeah so when I had Max he goes you know life's over now right and I said what do you mean Dad he goes well you I always told you weren't ready to be a father he said I think you are now he said but life's going to change he said there's no more selfish he said you're living for someone else now and nothing else matters he said you're on the back burner and he was right and he was also right when I was 22 23 28 I was not ready for that so how old were you when when you guys have Max 32 okay yeah so Johnny was uh Johnny was on the phone call there uh Zach our friend Nick and John they they called me that day and they let me know it was time time to get off the now how old was Bas uh two months oh so they did it early on he he was born he was born in March and then this was May May 13th uh May 14th um that those guys called me and over the last like come it's been about eight and a half years that I've been removed from alcohol I was a little bit worried about those same guys who called me with the alcohol CU I kept saying like I wasn't I wasn't doing this alone either so I was always kind of I was always kind of worried about about my buds like I didn't want to say anything because like they didn't have any health scares like I did that that pretty much forced that call uh but I want to ask you like how's your relationship with alcohol these days it seems way different it has and I give a lot of credit to sober uh sober October you know doing that for 30 days was was great you know and I don't consider myself a real heavy drinker you know but obviously more like we were I was just going to say 100% there I'm there's no denying the fact that when we went out we pretty much stayed toe to- toe you know what I mean you were there to get [ __ ] up it's called I don't like the taste of vodka I love getting [ __ ] up I could have easily these these roles could have easily been reverse where you and Zach and fish were calling me okay instead of us calling you they could have easily been reversed um we were all right there in fast L sober October was great man you know get got higher levels of energy you know not having that in me cuz as I'm sure I'm not the only one who knows you know it I feel like it tires you you know what I mean like yeah it's enjoyable while you're outing about at a at a nightclub or something that's the thing it's so fun like that brief moment exactly that brief that brief little lift that brief High um you know so I don't get me wrong I haven't completely stopped I did my full sober October for 30 days and and probably uh and you know I've still had a few drinks since then but um yeah you just got to find that that happy medium and take that intake level down you know because you know things like that especially Alcohol Tobacco you know those things are the ones that really cut your life shorter than anything you so let me ask you a question you did sober October yeah do you Fe like did you actually feel your body like kind of cleanse itself and like an actual change like instantly was it gradual how did that I would say after the twoe mark two we Mark I noticed a much more um uh higher of energy feel like you've been treading lightly with the booze for a little while now so it wasn't like silver October you weren't drinking on the redly I was just going to say let's not say that this was somebody who had an issue you know sitting there pounding them every day but you know if I had you know beard or white claws sitting at home you know and I came home and had a stressful had a stressful day and wanted to have one I'd go ahead and have one but that wasn't something that was happening every day um but no after week two man the energy levels through the roof um hydration was better too obviously because I'm drinking a lot more water than I am um you know anything else um but yeah great great energy and slept a lot better too the quality sleeping it changes drastically but how do you feel now if you have a drink like you said you you still have a drink here and there which is fine I mean why not yeah um I don't see the I mean I'm not going to say I don't see any changes you know uh since the sober October finished I've really only had one night where maybe I had like you know multiple drinks I'd say the next morning maybe um you know a little sluggish but you know nothing like I used like we talked about like you know like back in the day um do you feel like the floodgates don't open anymore like it's been a long time but like do you like can you literally just have like just like one or two 100% your mind we never could do that back then though and I was just going to say we're going to have one we were going to have 20 I think I as much as you know we were a big help to you I think you know we need to contribute a little bit of you know thanks to you on you know not to say an offensive the way that you went through that that the struggle that you had because you know it made us kind of probably put a you know a block in our mind saying like listen never thought about it this could happen like I said the roles could be averse this could happen to anybody you know we don't know you know I have family history that you know has had issues with certain things and who's to say that that Happ does you know that no dude that literally that day was definitely a turning point haven't drank Fireball since then I can I can easily tell you that haven't drank Fireballs since then um then like I feel like you guys would see me at like these weddings you know um just everywhere that we were kids birthday parties like were you guys ever in the back of your mind like were you ever kind of thinking like looking over at me like Damn if pids stopped this [ __ ] like why am I still like why did I just have seven here like were you ever kind of thinking that cuz I I never put myself in your guys' shoes because my vision was always like we would be at these things together and I'd kind of be sitting there like you freaking [ __ ] dude like you overstayed your welcome with alcohol like you can't even just have a few Millers with your boys like I was all I was just singular focused on me and I thought people were judging me because I wasn't able to drink there was a lot of there was a lot of like mental talk for me but I never saw it from your guys' lens so did you ever did you ever kind of feel bad for your drinking like around me or when we first um you know had like let's say like a you know party event so to say or you know a gathering after the incident happened everything um we definitely pumped the brakes um I think actually maybe around me on purp I want to say maybe at least the first couple events we actually didn't I think your wedding and different things like you had a rehearsal dinner or something was pretty pretty quick out of there yeah was was very dry I think there was really only like why we really just trying to keep the ladies happy um but yeah no we definitely pumped the brakes because we didn't want it to you know be a trigger or any type of influence for you and at the same point too we're friends again for over 20 plus years you know if he needs to stop well okay and at least in his pres at least in his presence I can be respectable enough to not drink in front of him to let him let you know that you know dude if you don't need it I can be with you and not need no I absolutely commend you guys for that because even when I was telling you guys like hey all because I overstay my welcome doesn't mean that you guys need to stop like I would go golfing with these guys and like I know that they they love to party I love to party we would always go golf and and get hammered together they made a conscious effort to just not do it around me and like that's but think you I never really thought about it but they until now they maybe in the long run did it for them but they did it for you because the respect love care and appreciation that they have for you and like John said it didn't have to be you that went through that it could have been anybody could have been me it could have been that whoever and they wanted to Stand By Your Side they weren't they were not your drinking buddies no they were those were your [ __ ] boys then and they're your boys now drinking water or pounding beers don't matter no still do does not matter but we've gradually gotten you know we we uh to go back to that you know obviously a few activities or Gatherings went by and now I think it's definitely a lot more comfortable for us you know knowing and we knew you were going to get through it regardless you know that's just the individual that you are you know um you're a tough you know minded guy and both physically and mentally obviously but we knew you were getting through but we wanted to provide the best type of support we could and and show you that so that you could get through it as well um but yeah now we're at Gatherings and stuff you know we yeah it is cuz we've we've seen you get through it and we know we we know that yeah you're exactly well over that hump so you know I'm not going to sit here and you know get you know get plastered at Mason's uh birthday party or anything like that but like you said too you know I did catch myself and realize that you know I can you know I don't need need to go to a party and sit there and have you know 10 drinks you know yeah well how do we feel about golf though are we getting hammered at golf sorry to interrupt no I've realized that's not a good idea too as much as as much fun as it is when you golf with Zach and our other buddy Nick they feel like you don't have fun golfing with Z they can drink as much as they want and still perform well okay it's a struggle enough for us to want to perform our best without any alcohol the alcohol comes when you just start doing really really bad then you're just like okay this golf day is over so I should be hammered every time I golf then I mean that's called Spade to Spade here I know those guys a relationship with alcohol in the golf course is like John Daly like they don't like they're they're fine he was just I was watching John Daly talk about how he was he was drinking uh he went on a bender and he beat Tiger Woods like the next day and he like had some breakfast yeah he had he had an interview where he said he's like oh if I could play drunk I'd probably beat everybody he says he plays better crazy but and I uh you know I give exact a lot of credit to that because once he had kids uh golfing uh became less of a drinking Sport with us too because we were golfing it 5 5:45 6 to 6:30 in the morning you know what I mean yeah to make sure you're back for 10 and I'm not a coffee guy so I'm not going to sit there and have you know an Irish coffee or anything crazy at you know 6 o'clock in the morning but um yeah listen it's it's part of the activity but you know again we uh everything in moderation but yeah we don't we don't need it dude moderation is so I don't need it and if it helped you you know in that short term you know uh keep your mind focused on the the end goal you know of staying sober then didn't I didn't need to have it around you it's just so crazy because you guys called me almost nine years ago and now people call me for help yeah but that's because you're a role model what they're saying you're you're an example and since the day I met you you never gave yourself enough credit for being Pete Riley and I would always tell you you have to accept who you are and maybe you're getting a little bit more cognizant of it today but you're Pete Riley bro you're a role model for kids for adults for parents for athletes you are the guy you're the guy I Look to for guidance advice same here yeah that's the thing like John and I like I have like this mental checklist with John and I like he's done all these projects at my house like I named a few things that he's done like so like the list of things that he's done for me is probably significantly larger than what I've done for him but what I've been able to do for him is he'll send me a text hey can you talk yeah and I know Johnny's got to talk it out and then just let him talk it out go for a walk give him a few minor tips that that could help him that I know and sometimes that can equal five projects he did at my house that one talk can can kind of have us even even more dude and I have a feeling Johnny's not keeping score either not not I feel like no matter what you could call him and he's there for you and everything I think no there's no bigger evidence in he thought showing you strength and support by trying to ease your uncomfortability around him drinking or whoever when you were younger shows that unwavering support from this guy yeah now do you think that their support and how they handled it being around you in the the beginning in the early stages do you think that was a big factor in you being able to maintain your sobriety and get to that point Looking Back Now for sure but I had such tunnel vision to stay away from it yeah if those guys didn't call me though dude I would still probably be boozing right now I might not even be alive honestly like I what was your to that what was your response you might remember yeah did you get defensive exactly no man not at all they called more emotional I would say yeah it it was pure emotion dude were you drinking when they called no I wasn't uh I had a seizure on Bob Walsh's front lawn the day before um and uh they called me and they yeah there was no beef dude there was no beef and like maybe it was their approach though like they didn't call me and they were like yeah we weren't yelling at him or anything you know such a [ __ ] idiot like I can't believe you did this again they were like yo dude like we love you we love you like we think that yeah I vividly remember we were I was living in belmare and I was uh I used to go to like the outdoor shower to to talk I wouldn't turn the shower on but that would be like my privacy you know and I kind of go in there and you know I was talking to them and there were there were three other voices and they all had the same energy but I feel like that's a great question Evan that call can go way different with and I think it depends on the situation that that person's in and and how how they relay the message so I think that my soft Landing when people call me and I kind of let them talk these things out what they're going through in their life and maybe kind of get to a little bit of these pain points but I feel like people's delivery on those calls are off a lot of times I didn't need them to make me feel any worse than I was already making myself feel I already didn't feel good as it was like even prior to that seizure like I knew that I had this little baby I knew that I shouldn't be drinking I was waking up every morning with a lot of regret like I was already in a pity party as it was if these guys would have called me and they had a different approach I easily could have been like [ __ ] you guys I'm going to Conelly station right now why the [ __ ] are you guys even calling me f you guys so I feel like that's an amazing question and if you are in a in a situation um where there is a loved one or someone that you care about is overstaying their welcome with something in particular and you are feeling the need to make this call know that that person is really suffering like they're having a hard time without you making them feel bad they already feel bad so that oh man I I wish I could I wish I could bottle up that conversation and and have it recorded for for anybody who's looking for some help because you know my situation was was unique to myself but most of these situations that we hear about a lot of times these people they kind of just need to talk it out yeah to feel better bside manner yeah or they just need you know someone to make them feel like you know what you got this man like they were mad confident in me so I didn't want to let them down I was already letting myself down you know they made the call if I'm two three four days in to to not drinking and and it kind of pops up in my mind I'm kind of thinking back to these guys like man I have immense gratitude that you guys called me like I'm not going to conell station right now I want to let those guys down man like it gave me even more motivation you know to keep going uh but Evan and I were talking last night a little bit and uh the flow to sober October is awesome does January have anything that rhymes yeah they I think somebody said uh dry January Jan it doesn't flow as well no it doesn't flow but it does give you something with a little bit of a motivation hey yep we turned over to calendar you know we're talking a little bit uh New Year's resolutions and whatnot and you know in the past I've said I think New Year's resolutions can create a little bit of uh making you feel like you're under achieving on something you know if you set set this big time goal in January and then before you know it you got some serious momentum but then March comes and you know you're back on the wagon for St Patty's Day or whatever it is but um dry January right that's what you guys said that's what it should be called I think that's good it's got ring to it it's got enough ring to it so let's take dry January into like What flows with February Fant if you want to have a fantastic February you got to start with your dry January you got to get a little bit more momentum um but we're over here at waves and you know every time that we've been sharing our stories with all this vulnerability and all this love um there's been some faces that have come through here and whether they hear our message or they're going through their own things uh we were able to to celebrate with somebody you know who's who's in the building right now who's got 37 days and you know seeing this guy's face makes me want to cry because I know what it feels like I know what it feels like to have these family the family members talking to you um you know your friends calling you and it's powerful powerful [ __ ] and then you go nine nine years almost and people are calling you it starts with 37 days 37 days can turn into to three years you could save somebody's life or just change change their life completely you know just by picking up the phone yep Ian come here so now a lot of people in this room don't aren't aware that I've known Ian for a few years I've seen them have some ups and downs we were lucky enough to link up here at waves me and Pete come in here we start doing this Ian gets more and more involved and um today last week we discussed he had 30 days today's at 37 Ian is one of the kindest hearted people I know I've seen him have some ups and downs and some struggles he not only is one of the kindest people I know he's an amazingly talented artist when I say artist he's a musician a photographer a videographer and a sound engineer I'm blessed to have him be part of this team along with me and Pete you could see how overwhelmed with Peta with emotion because we know and can relate and understand where Ian's coming from Ian why don't you tell everybody you know kind of where you're at if you don't mind or just introduce yourself a little bit thanks please um it's I actually was just sitting down writing a letter to myself that's why I've been uh out of here but um I'm Ian I work at waves for Allen um he's my best friend he owns a studio and I uh I kind of just fill the roles that need to be filled um I'm going through a big change in my life right now I um I used to use alcohol to escape from everything uh it was like my way out it was the only way I knew how to get through and get by um so I'm I'm relearning how to like be a person yeah how to survive how to feel things um you know I kind of got like the triple whammy uh in terms of like you know this all coming to ahead I made a lot of mistakes I I I heard a lot of people uh yeah you have nothing but opportunity to write those wrongs kid you're young you know it's part of something that I'm I'm learning in in Step work is that you know that's going to there's going to come a time where I'll be able to write those wrongs yeah um I um you know I tell my I always Tred to tell my story in a way that I I thought people would view it like different like I always I always there was always fabrication to my story and and how I told it to people because I wanted them to see me in a different light than I saw myself um and so like learning how to be confident in Who I Really Am cuz like there was always a good person behind the lies that I told or the mistakes that I made it was just insecurity and and lack of of self-respect sure uh so I never really knew how to uh be who I really am and be confident in that and you know for if you talk about you know I moved to LA when I was 18 years old um from from all aspects like I had the World by the balls you know I signed record deal did all those things and went on tour and and I was so close and like instead of enjoying those moments like every time something good happened it was about like proving to people that it was something more than it actually was I think a lot of people fall into that live an entire lie like talk about living an entire lie that's exactly what yeah but here you are now 37 Days clean 37 days sober rewriting or writing your next chapter like Pete always says you always got another story to write another page to turn another song to and here you are and I'm sure you have people like Johnny in your corner was for Pete and he said Allan was a big Allan's Alan that's his boy he's and I I know the Love Alan has for you because I've been around both of them for a long time uh I probably met Allan how old is Alan uh 27 we're the same so yeah I probably met him s years ago cuz one of his buddies started working for me me and Allan got friendly by proxy I met Ian me and Ian have had some talks throughout his struggles and problems too like I he Billy's been in in my in the in my tornado Billy's been a part of my tornado but one thing I will say is as [ __ ] up as this situation could get and did get did get and maybe by you know happen stance touched me he always knew he could call and I might not have gave him the advice he needed or wanted but I told him what he needed to hear and I hope you know that that support is unwavering and always is and when you would call me and then I would call you like 30 times the next day to make sure you're good I know I was annoying the [ __ ] out of you but it was coming from the best place and look at you now I'm you're like a major sound engineer for one of the country's biggest podcasts I I sure am we're [ __ ] syndicating bro we're on all the platforms we got what closeing 11,000 YouTube views bro we are [ __ ] big time I sure are big time look at you I'm listen man I'm I'm ready I'm Joe Rogan just tried to hit me the other day I'm not surprised saying he was living a fake life dude let's not get back there let's not get back there wait we don't have the biggest podcast around you do yeah and how at waves we the biggest podcast guys really do something special uh it's it's really cool to watch uh the first time I sat in here I was like damn like these guys have a lot of knowledge like I always used to be the person that thought I knew everything and then you hear people that are smarter than you and have gone through more than you like speak and I've learned to just shut my mouth and give me Aug done a good quote that hey we're proud of you for 37 Days man keep rolling I wish I had my tag i' throw it in the camera there's going to be time uh in the in the very near future that that you're going to be fortunate enough to be in a situation that I'm in that people are going to be looking to you for answers I I hope so no they will I hope so you know there's a this is part of what I want to do in in in the future is like here at the table today tell story guys especially with holidays approaching oh it's hard there's not many of you that know me but find me on Instagram or whatever hit my inbox hit Pete like we don't have any answers but we're kind of here to talk help you guys through a rough time if you the tools whatever it is you got the tools we can maybe provide you with some tools to help yourself whether it's drinking or you're just uncomfortable having some some dark thoughts whatever we're here I'm sure John he's willing to talk or you know whatever just just get out us bro we're we're here for everybody absolutely for sure keep it rolling that's all keep it moving let's go keep it moving baby good stuff what kind of quote did you want to have uh I don't remember what movie it was from but I caught a good quote that reminded me a lot of like what you guys are doing you know um and what I what I strive to do you know you guys are great leaders um whether you know it or not um but like I mentioned before that happiness um isn't just all about your happiness you know it's it's coming in seeing it in others especially what we get to see with the kids um but it said a society grows best um where old men plant seeds in which they know they will never see uh sit in that shade and I'm sure I'm messing the wording up there okay my high and I always Resort back to that but that's a that really resonated with me coming here today because you guys are really doing that you know you're coming on here um I don't want to say exposing yourself but putting yourself out there to tell your stories um struggles and um achievements um to hopefully help other people and obviously you're doing that in the community too you know with the wrestling program that you have with all the wonderful help that you do you know um with I know with the police um and what was the the Halloween thing that you guys did over there you guys are always contributing back to the community and I just wanted to make mention of that because you know it really means a lot to me too because um I'm hoping to have my business grow more and more to the point that I can get back to the community as well because at the end of the day already giv back you know what I mean I appreciate it you know but it's a it takes a village you know to um to raise everybody and make everything work um coherently you know and you guys are doing a great job here in Howell and I'm sure your your words now that you're on here um are reaching more people than you know and it's great it really is and I app appreciate you guys having me here you know we appreciate you having you man I hope you come back 100% anytime anytime this reminded me of like those sessions that certified on a Friday for lunch yeah definitely we just need Johnny Ryan in here yeah I mean I I really just kind of broke down as I was looking over at Ian because I just see a lot of my younger self in him you've said that before yeah yeah he's he's got the he's got the aura about him you know you could tell he's got a good heart you know and he's a good soul and it's really the good hearted good Soul people that I've know notic they're really battling some of these really hard demons and they're kind of you know they the people or the people that appear happiest are the ones struggling the most yeah it's true man and I feel like the ones the ones with the really good Hearts the really good Souls that are that are struggling with certain substances they're they're really it's really Weighing on them a lot more than they're really talking about like they don't want to let other people down every time that they get called out or the next day there's a call like that [ __ ] hurts them even more than the selfish guy who's just been a dick to everybody that just chooses to do Coke all the time he's not really letting anybody else down but himself he that that guy isn't really wearing it the way the good-hearted guy is and you know some of these guys might be dads you know they might be people that are you know pretty close to us and they're [ __ ] hurting bad you know they're hurting bad but you know we're we're we're going to be switching over to calendar and Evan and I just think that that's a great time to just start with the first X that's it and you just that's what I did man I had the X on they had the calendar on the fridge and I had an X and before you know it I turned over so many months with so many X's I don't I think it was only a few months that I was doing the X but that's for yeah like it just got to a point where I didn't need need it anymore dude same thing when I quit smoking cigarettes I started you cuz you had you had got me inide you're like dude serious get a calendar and just start marking off X's by the time I was done with two and a half months I think I was like dude I don't even need the calendar anymore you know what I mean need calendar anymore but for me it was it was the X for everybody else it's something different some people do kind of need that AA Vibe I personally didn't want to talk about alcohol because I would go to chapter I would want to go to Chapter House you also had a pints so like that that that for me I I wasn't ready I wasn't in a in a place to to really talk about um the alcohol and stuff but we really wanted to start this to help to help one person and uh Billy seems to be to be the one that's really got the most help and I've been helped immensely from this and um now that that we're turning over the calendar to a new year um if if you're feeling some struggle you know whether it's mental we talk about suicide a lot whether it's depression anxiety or if there's one of these evil substances that's you know being uh being portrayed as a beautiful life on the beach with the Corona and you know if if that's what it is for you then you know maybe make the new year at a time you know to prove everybody else who you really are deep down inside without whatever is numbing you over AB you know well and you know what like we were mentioned before with the kids too you know taking it one step at a time putting a pace on things um don't said too high expectations for yourself either though you know it doesn't have to be three years yeah I heard it wasn't really a quote but you know aim on being 1% better each day you know what I mean if you can be 1% better each day then guess what you're improving you know what I mean not everything's going to happen overnight but you know um you know 37 days before you know is going to turn into eight and a half years you know what I mean so knowing that you're waking up doing the right thing um you know and out there grinding to be a better person is you know is the best thing you can do you know be be be a kind person but you know make sure you're doing it for yourself because in the long run you know there there's nobody else that's going to you know do those hard things for you except you all the phone calls in the world you know you could have denied them you got to do it though you got to man up and step and that's it and you have and happy to hear the yep one day at a time everybody all right guys I got to cut this short I have somebody waiting for me in my office that's a little early um good stuff though I apologize with us no it's not short we went way over well I think we got some good stuff um again if anybody out there struggling especially around holiday times reach out any way you can get in touch with us we don't mind no one's going to be bothered no one's going to be mad and no one's going to judge you feel free to call if you like what we're doing please like share and subscribe we'd appreciate it any help we can get and any help we can give is here for you guys thank you Johnny thank you guys so much for having love you guys love you buddy appreciate it man

Channel: The Modern Man's Podcast

Views: 344

Keywords: Podcast, Coaching Staff, Life Values, Entrepreneurship, Family Bonds, Overcoming Challenges, Alcohol Recovery, Inspiration, Personal Growth, Success Stories, Stay-at-Home Dad, Support System, Mental Health, Lifelong Learning, Life Struggles, Mindset Shift, Achievements, Celebrating Life, Empowerment, Strength in Adversity, Building Connections, Empowering Narratives, Legacy Building, Personal Reflections, Community Sharing, Empower Yourself, Be Inspired Today

Id: sEiIxadf_7Q

Length: 86min 15sec (5175 seconds)

Published: Wed Dec 27 2023