Building a Strong Marriage - Part 1

been talking about this subject for quite some time and we really feel the need and the strong desire to minister this in the area of building strong marriages and family and so we realize that God wants to do some awesome three things in through your lives and one of the ways the enemies will come and try to distract you from being about the father's business would be your family you know if something's going not right in your home with your husband or your wife is concerned or even your children it distracts you it grabs a hold of your attention allows you to lose focus on what God wants to do and through your life and sometimes even when it's happening in our home and we forget that that word that we use for somebody else will always work for you hallelujah it always works for you and it's those times where it's closest to you that you have the ability to work the word of God to know that it does work for you so if you would let's open our Bibles to Psalm 127 and we will start here and we'll go from here Psalm 127 when you get there say Amen it says except the Lord build the house they labor in vain that build it except the Lord keep the city the Washington awaketh but in vain so except the Lord build the house you labor in vain that build it and so trying to build your home trying to build your family outside of the Lord being Lord in your home your labor is in vain I don't know there are a lot of traditions that we have some we don't even realize there are traditions or things that have been handed down from one generation or one family member to another and we try to build our relationships on that and it doesn't work it your relationships has to be built on the Word of God and and if you don't know the Word of God concerning that issue or circumstance in your house that means that you got to get in the Word of God and hear from God and see what God has to say other than that if you're trying to build your life based on what your mama did based on what daddy did or somebody else's good advice that's not a word your labor is in vain and I find and we've discovered in counseling many people and that when you try to do things or try to do it in your flesh or in the natural way there are a lot of couples that just simply burn out you just get tired I'm tired of doing everything I'm tired of doing this I thought he would do this if I did this I thought she would be happy if I did this and you just I'm tired I don't want to do nothing else because your labor is not a labor of the Word of God and there's sometimes you know God will have you to do certain things that is not anything like that you have seen Oh discovered before because he wants us to depend on him and so except the Lord builds your house you labor in vain again except the Lord keep the city the watchman waketh but in vain so it again it doesn't help believe it implies say something about doesn't matter you stay up all night worried about something doesn't matter nothing's gonna change by you standing up you might as well go to sleep hallelujah because the god we discovered that in verse two that God blesses you when you in that place of rest it is vain for you to rise up early in the city late to eat the bread of Sorrows for so he given his beloved sleep and so God didn't want you up all night worried about it rehearsing the argument that you had all day rehearsing all the things that you dislike about each other but God wants you to be in that place of rest because in that place of rest is where your victory is the Bible says in Hebrews four that he wants us to enter in that place of rest just like God in and in that place of rest because he realized that everything that he's ever done is already finished your victory is finished are you hearing me tonight your victory is finished and so you might as well go to sleep honey don't worry he's not gonna change anything and so God he wants you to be in that place of rest where you can't experience what he has for you verse three lo children are in heritage of the Lord they come from God and the fruit of the womb is his reward your children are not a curse to you they are your they are his reward that's the Lord's reward Jesus gave His life so that others can live and when you have children that's his reward that's another seed into the kingdom of heaven and they're his reward and it says listen and sorrows in the hands of mighty men so our children in the of the youth happy is the man that have his quiver full of them and thou shall not be ashamed but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate that means God's got a place of authority for your children as well as you and so God did not leave them out and so we want to build our lives and our families on the Word of God hearing the voice of God so that our labor and having no family and marriage and family is relationship is labor some I said it's work hallelujah if you haven't already discovered it is work but it should be a labor of love there are some jobs you just love and this is should be one that is a labor of love turn to mark chapter three you know the work that God calls the church to do is to believe he said this is the work of God that a man should believe and so I first I guess priority would be to believe God and to get in his word and that's the work that you put in if you put the work into the word then you're gonna get the work out of the word and so you don't have so much of your life being spent out of here trying to get things that happen naturally that can only happen spiritually one of the things that I think that we forget a lot of times that we are really spirit beings living in the physical body and we have a tendency to spend so much time upon the the natural part of man if the flesh part of man and the result of that as always will lead to weakness and failure but when we spend the time upon the part that is like God we end up getting that result and and so you know we just have to be reminded when we in relationships that the relationships work well because of who we are and that is because I'm a spirit and not just flesh because when you just when you when you allow your relationships just to operate purely on the natural level then you will experience all the failures that going with just purely a natural relationship I mean that's living a life that is unaware of the resources that God has made available for you and I to succeed with there are there are there angelic beings that are here to support you financially they're here to support you and to raising your children and having a good relationship to modeling the message of the kingdom it is here because you are Kings kids but I don't know one thing you notice about God is that you can be aware of the word but until you apply the word you won't see any results of it now if you've if you've been around the Bible at any time and you heard some things and you still experience and maybe some desires in your relationships that you don't want and it doesn't seem like God is doing anything is because you're not probably not applying what you know and here's why I say that the Apostle Paul you remember he was buffett by spirit and he the Bible said he sought God on this thing three times and then you know and the first time when he sought God God had the same answer then that he had for the third time but notice that God was not moved by the fact that Paul was being moved by his problem you better get that Paul was being moved by his problem but it wasn't moving God so you can have a problem and you think that your problem moves God but it doesn't move God your faith in God your belief in what it says is what causes the release of God to do what he's going to do as a matter of fact Jesus said I already know what I'm gonna do so you see God already knows what he will do you know about whatever is going on and I personalized he's already decided really through the death of bear in the resurrection of Jesus it's already been decided the thing is that when you and I begin to synchronize up to what God has already seen what God is doing when I synchronize what he's doing I start to see God's effects of has done in my current relationships now are you hearing me can I send you you can let me give you an illustration you let me give you one and like in the financial arena a lot of times we have we experienced some some financial difficulties sometimes financially and and we don't really my daughter's you want God to help you out well God has already established what he gonna do it's already in the word what he will do and it's already in the word what he will do you didn't hit him no not missing it's it's in the word what he will do it's in the word what he will do did you hear me it's already in the word what he will do it's already what he will do where is God in you she's already established what he will do and he's taking the time to put what he will do in the word so that you can know what he will do in you and so now that I know what he will do I already know what he will do and when I get an agreement what he will do and I do what he is doing then I get to see God do what he will do are you hearing me I kind of went a little bit well so you have to in other words you you have to synchronize with what God is doing in order to see what he's doing otherwise you can have you can have knowledge of what God says and do something different and when you do something different than what God saying then then you won't see God doing anything you will be doing everything the innocent your gonna do it until you realize that is God working in us both to wield and to do so now he wants the will of God done in my relationships he wants the will of God done in my household he wants the will of God but he's working in me both to will so now I've got to be like Jesus willing to allow him to work his will in me so now when God wants to do this and I wants to do that God will do what he did with Paul he will allow Paul to come pray about the same problem three times until you figure out I have already decided that my grace is sufficient for you it was sufficient in the first prayer it was sufficient in the second prayer it's sufficient for you in the third prayer it just took Paul to realize okay this is what I'm supposed to be doing this is what God is working in me he is working his grace so then Paul began to access that grace by faith and so God deal with this thing and it absolutely transformed his relationship not only with God but what was taking place in the natural he was just he said listen now I will glory in my weaknesses or my infirmities so that the power of God may rest upon my life he was transformed Paul's not the same person that he was when he prayed the first time about his marriage heard the first time about his children pray the first time about his finances what I'm with you they're never like paulie's Mary Paul Paul was that come on that you you I said that to grab your attention because many times we are praying and we don't see the results of our prayer life and here's why we don't see it because God already is made of his mind what he gonna do and if you decide to do something different than what God is doing you're gonna be still praying I'm gonna be still praying wouldn't no law you need to fix them he just sees messed up well maybe you don't want messed up maybe I'm the one need to be fixed do you understand and so that's why we've just gotten got to pull back to realize that it is necessary that when we if we're going to succeed it's going to require us coming in and in there synchronizing with what God is doing in us concerning our personal affairs then we're going to succeed we will never feel that those things if you want to go to mark chapter three mark chapter three very familiar verse of scripture verse 25 it says and if a house be divided against itself the house cannot stand now we've read that a many times but how many times we are divided against each other think about it come on that we read them in and how so we just divide it so many attitudes because we don't agree and so there's division in the house and and because of that you know here's what God says and it isn't that we don't realize that we know it's so but we keep trying to would keep this this division going on because we believe in that we're right and they wrong and they believe they're right and you're wrong listen this thing is not about rising ready you remember that angel showed up and Joshua and he said whose side you on he said I'm on the Lord's side then your marriage whose side you on I'm on the Lord's side it ain't about being on Tony's side it ain't about it being on Cynthia side it's about who is on the so it's not about being right or wrong in other words it's not about who is right and wrong Jesus is right here's what's right you know so a house divided against itself cannot stand and we want to develop this oneness or these unity within our home so that we'll be able to stand so when the enemy comes the Bible said in having done all stand but if the enemy comes and you're divided there'd be no stance there'd be no ability to stand or having nothing to stand on because you've divided yourself and the enemy is always attacking families always attack that's the first institution of the first thing God had developed was we relationship he desired a family and that's why he created us in the first place and he gave us the ability to have family well the enemy is attacking that structure that God has set up and so but if you're divided against each other you cannot stand and there's so many areas of division of the enemy would come in but here's what God's after he's after unity and you have got to be have the same heart as God but I'm willing to just come together in the peace of God and develop unity within my home and not be the one that will cause division in my home and so you have to do whatever the Lord puts on your heart to do to make sure that this family is staying together the way God desire you know Psalm 133 says well let's turn to it so we can look at this again Psalm 133 you there it says behold how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity so God is after the unities after the oneness and he said it's good and it's a pleasant before God that we would do well together in unity it's like the precious ointment upon the head that ran down upon the beard even Aaron's beard that went down to the skirts of his garment as the dew of Hermon and as the dew of the Synod upon the mountains of Zion for there where this place of unity there God the LORD commanded the blessing even life forevermore it isn't that place of unity that when we come together and don't allow the enemy to divide us there you will find an empowerment that comes from God for you to prosper in everything that you do that your family will prosper your family will be successful you will see the success that God intended the family to have when you and I come together and the family come together in unity because there you will discover because we're in this power of oneness we would discover the blessings of the Lord God and as a result of that I guarantee there's nothing that will be impossible for you and your household because of unity because of you becoming one with one another there is nothing the Bible you remember the story in Genesis 6 I mean Genesis when they the Bible said they all came together to build a tower to go into heaven and because the people were one nothing was impossible for them nothing was restrained from them there was nothing that they could not do because they were one and when you come together in your family and become one you're gonna experience the blessings of Almighty God and it's not one carrying it it's coming together in unity that is carrying the blessing of God that your family will experience and so we want to go over some things that we believe we probably have a time to go through the whole list but some list of things that we think are very essential and building strong families and building strong marriages that you have to have and should have in place and these are things that your very familiar with there's nothing that you know oh I didn't know I had to do that it's tough you know but we bring it to your remembrance and it's not enough just to know as pastor Tony's already said you've got to begin to put these things in place you've got to start doing what you know to do and it's it's not a question of well he heard what the pastor said why he ain't doing it we still ain't together as a family we still ain't doing it cuz he ain't doing nothing if you know what to do it doesn't matter who does it as long as it's getting done and you're seeing the results of what God wants to accomplish in and through your life and so it is important that we come yeah we come together but there's some time it's one that's just not as a corporate as the other one should be but it's okay long as we come together and experience the blessing you want to find that there are times when they will be a coming together in the unison that you're gonna see tremendous blessing and it won't be a struggle to do these things that you know to do in your relationships any longer so number one praise the Lord Amen number one is is priority somebody say priorities so we need to prioritize that's important you know I just want to say that we want to be we want to take some meetings that we have with you to be very practical because most of the time the people miss it in is in the practical part the application of life you know notice the marriage is a in there were divorces and we can't finances get messed up and so there has to be just practical information in the the everyday natural things of life so that we will be successful at and don't take it for granted that that we know everything I don't know about you but when I grew up you know how my parents didn't teach me everything you may have grown up in a household where you knew everything they what I didn't learn everything in my household and so I've had to relearn some things I mean even along the lines of raising children I don't know about you nobody took me to a class and said this how you raise children I looked at TV and and I decided based on what my mother did to me and what my father did not do that that was where I defined my lifestyle from through my home of failures and through the things that I didn't like that was going in my own rearing that I made decisions but I later found out that those decisions were not Bible they were not God so I had to relearn all those things and so it was it was a place almost where contention for the families concerned had I not had a real relationship with God because when my wife went to correct me on that baby we don't do that well in my mind I'm doing that because that's decisions I've made since I was a boy I'm not gonna be this way because I didn't like what I saw in those places but but realizing that you know we didn't have contention because I love God I just wanted to know I realized I didn't know anything and in a lot of things that we do is because of some reason for why we do we do like the reason that we don't touch our children were not as lovable as we want to they desire hugs and attention from us and for some reason we we feel funny about it I you know I mean and it's it's a wonderful journey to take practical things and learn from it you know I've learned some practical things for my own daughter I mean she she wanted really great affection for me and you know I grew up in a household that didn't have affection because my mother was very concerned that you know without a male in the house that we would turn out to not know what we were so she saw to it that we were you know she kept us you know and involved with boy things and and all kinds of things that would ensure that we would grow up to be young men you know like you know we I never never laid in my mother's bed you know what is that my kids they you know I want I want to lock them on my room I mean they don't have no regard of what is marriage I mean it just on my daughter come in my room knock poon I said what's the point I could be butt-naked I'll just go I'm gonna turn around for her to catch me but hey I'm like I could I could come out the shower with no clothes on and you know running of grabs you're a slip some oh you know just know consciously any of those things my kids that you know that doesn't exist in my book I didn't grow up like that you know I grew up you know we didn't we didn't never lay on my mother's bed was none of that kind of closeness and so we you know what we're trying to do is give you some practical approaches why you do what you need to do and if there are things that God wants you to break down you obey the Holy Ghost on it so that's why we want to be practical we don't want everything to be you know one way but the family is so important to God he is he loves relationships and and you that are not married you you're gonna get married because you have a desire to be married and so you don't wait to understand relationships after you get married you got to understand relationships before you get married so that you'll be successful when you get married and I believe that God brings you marriage when you're prepared for it the Bible that you know God never brought the children of Israel into their promises until they were prepared to take it they wouldn't prepare mentally emotionally to take hold of what God had promised so the question is am I prepared mentally and mentally and emotionally to be married I mean you there's some things you like in the marriage relationship but marriage is more than sex I mean you won't sex I don't have no problem with that and if you don't want sex don't get married don't nobody get married for you to be single no when you get married we want to have sex now single people want to have sex but that's wrong do you understand and the reason you want to have sex because God did not call you to be single so now since the call on your life is not to be single you might as well wise up in the area of relationships so that you won't have the problems that we see society having where relationships concern even in the church so that's why we're taking the time so that you can get an a practical approach to how you can succeed in a relationship amen all right so we have to set priorities period and we know that that God has to be the number one priority in our life it's the Bible the lawyer came to to Jesus in Matthews 22 inches which is the greatest commandment of them all you know that and Jesus said them thou shalt love the Lord your God with all your heart with all your soul with all your strength with all your might so here's my number one project is my love for God you got a really here here we sang behind this because God has to be your number one priority you cannot experience attitudes or be jealous of your spouse's relationship with God because you don't have one with God when you have a relationship with God you encourage each other's relationship with God and so I'm not fighting with you when you want to pray or when you want to read your Bible you want to spend time fasting because I have the same love for God and because of we have a love for God and we understand that we're both developing relationship with God individually and together and so you you have to begin to develop a relationship with God yourself you have to have it a love relationship with God you have to come to know him you gotta know his voice Jesus wants you to know him the Spirit of God wants to walk with you talk to you open up that's the Word of God to you speak to you and show you things to come the father wants to be your daddy he wants you to get on his lap he wants you to worship Him and to know him he wants to pour his love on you as an individual and it's from that place of God being number one that your family will follow suit in their relationship with God and so when we said making God your priority that means you make God your priority John he worked world in the olive houses when he was away that God spoke to that church and he said that you have to return to your first love some of you left your first love which is God and the reason why we we are insecure in our relationships and what we feel that we're not being loved in our relationship because we have not developed a love relationship with God ourselves you say well you you seem like you hug everybody in the church but me or you around everybody else but me and you seem like you love everything in the things of God but me and that you because you have no relationship with God yourself you're jealous of other people's relationship with God but when you have it with God you can rejoice when when somebody is getting blessed in the presence of God when somebody is praising God when somebody is is being moved by God you're not standing in like what's wrong with them I saying all that no but you understand that and because you're connecting like that you can feel that same anointing and power that God made available to you and get right in that place with them and get on the throne room of God within you could push each other to greatness in your love and your relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ and it is so important that you do so and so it has to be individual first of all your relationship and your love for God and and you and you help one another in past Tony see me praying he starts praying I see him praying I start praying I don't go why are you praying now let's not pray let's go swear no I'm prayin he's talking to God I want to talk to God to what you say what are you saying Lord he's God he see me listening to take what you listening to you want to listen to you see me reading book what's name of that book put it on my ipod too cuz we're developing this relationship individually and then together with God in his song you don't want to be with anybody who doesn't have a love relationship with God you don't single people you don't want to be with somebody you're single now you have a choice right now this can be your resolve I want somebody to love God with all their heart with all their soul with all their mind and with all this strength because there's no way they're gonna be able to love you unless they love God that way you're gonna always fight for somebody's love why you don't love me why you don't spend time with me why you're not with me why you don't want to be around me why don't you come be with me if they don't have a relationship with love they cannot give it to you can I give what they don't have you cannot give what you don't have see when God is first you have the same priorities and the problem with relationships is that our priority is a difference that when they're different they cause a problem if if a priority is Jesus and my priority is entertainment I like video games going to the movies theaters there's nothing wrong with that there's a place for that in our life but when but that if I put that ahead of God and she's got God there and I got entertainment where God is concerned we're gonna have problems do you understand because when she wants to do the god things I'm gonna be hurt by it because I want to do that entertainment I want to play the video games I want to do that and so now you mess with my time you could see that my passion is towards the video games her passion is toward God so whatever you give your attention to you would develop a passion for you become emotional over so if you don't have God in the right place it's really easy to put God in the right place your heart will follow what you give your attention to so we've got to just we got to start to turn our attention from the things that are out of place and put God in place on and it may not be interested in the beginning because you're being pulled by your where your passions have been carrying you for so long in it but you just have to turn and maybe you can't turn all at once but you just turn just make a quality decision you know I'm gonna open my Bible I'm gonna get up and pray you know and and whatever you begin to give your interest to you will develop a passion for it that's what he says in Matthew chapter 6 he says lay not up for yourselves treasures upon the earth I mean you know video games and all that don't let that be your your your major treasure where moth and rust doth corrupt and where thieves can break through and steal but lay up for yourselves treasures where in heaven that's where my heart is my heart is is there we're neither moth nor rust I'll scrub with neither thieves who break through no steal for where your treasure is there will be your heart notice your heart is where you put your treasure will you give your attention to where you give your focus to where your priorities are Europe your passion follows your priorities so I'm not gonna have anything for her if my priorities are different than hers if she lines it up propping it is Jesus there's that there there she and I there are the children there is work no excuse me back about theirs Jesus there is you know the marriage there is children there's I said work but okay there's this this ministry there's work and then there's entertainment so there's room for entertainment I like entertainment but I don't want you chasing entertainment when I want to spend time with you see when I want to spend time with you you want entertainment you down and you you won't look at the football game I want to be entertained we don't have a problem that's why we have a problem our parties are not in the same place but they'll be in the same place when when they line up properly see if you give 500 hours to sport and television and then you want to give me two minutes only in the bedroom we having a problem with that why y'all looking at me like that come on man no no no no we got to do a little bit better than that you don't the game off now you want me win all those things that but I wanted your your attention you but you had to watch all the games on Sunday you watch every last one of them and when you're finished now you want me you want me so you threw me as the last priority that's but that's not the place that God has her so it doesn't work so y'all don't so she's not happy when you come and you start singing baby come close she don't want to hit it I want to hear none of that go to the TV and pull it close then next you know I need to see pastor Tony because my wife is not submitted no but they got nothing to do with submission it's the thing is that we're never going to meet because our priorities are not the same how we ever going to meet up and so it looks like your relationship that there's income and compatibility in your relationship but you're it's not that you're incompatible it's just that your products are wrong in keeping these priorities you got to keep things in right perspective and always again God being first and then your spouse and so because I know my spouse is first I mean comes you know in my relationship she's priority or he is priority in my relationship so I can't allow other things to take that place and being in being a priority to me that means that you know family members or old boyfriends and girlfriends and things that well I've known him all my life and but they're taking the place of you understand but at the same time I'm gonna talk a little bit more about that but at the same time in the relationship because you know I know I am priority I don't take advantage of my position and to be insecure in my position and to want you to be around me 24/7 because I ain't nothing without you you understand so you can't have that attitude of yeah I am your priority I'm not your priority and then you put he or she and bondage to sit in your face all day cuz you're insecure and you're only insecure because God has not been number one priority in your life God has to be he has to be priority you have to you have to come to get when you and when you have a love relationship with God I'm here when you have when you are so in love with God and God's love is so much a part of who you are the only way that you can express or even contain it is it has to be given away and God is giving you a spouse to express his love in your life through otherwise you would just blow up you have a has to Express he's not gonna he's not gonna fill me with his love and I want to tangibly Express that and go look for some other man I'm not looking for somebody else to give it to I'm not calling I'm not calling an old boyfriend thing how you doing where you been I'm not on Facebook looking for somebody to talk to I'm not I'm not you know tweeting different oh I seen you I ain't seen you in 10 years how you been what you're doing you know let me just I'm not doing that I'm looking for him I'm here and so keeping these priorities you can't listen to me you can't I know you've been doing and you've been working in you've been taking care of your mama all your life and you know but you married now mom is not priority Holly come on then now understand don't get me wrong the Bible says honor your mother and father I am not telling you to be dishonorable at all pastors showing that we love our parents and when we do anything for them we do it for them he's not just doing anything for his mom and I'm like why are you doing that for her now why are you giving her that why are you doing that no for my mama when we do anything for when we honor our parents in any kind of way we honor them but they'll never take the place of this and they love God so much so they not even trying to do that how they do you glory to God and so again it's that number one priority of God in your life that will cause less friction in every aspect of your life so that you can have and set these priorities and keep them in that priority but not abuse it they're there for basic needs that when when God is in its place in your life when you have the priority where God is concerned that it's met which makes for good relationship number one is acceptance acceptance is knowing you are loved and needed by others well you can only get that from God knowing that you're loved and then a God loves me as much as he loves Jesus the next thing that you get through this relationship with God being first is an identity knowing you are individually significant and special so we don't we don't you know we people get married for a lot of reasons because they they murder wrong people because they think that person will will make them significant will brand them and give them something that they could not get on their own but but you you have to understand you you get your significance from who God is and who God created you to be and then when you in the relationship you're not looking for that need to be met by man home all by a woman you're not a half a person looking for somebody to make you home you marry someone who's not your type because everybody says that he or she is fine or handsome and so you want to marry the fine and handsome one so that you can have significance another thing that you get went when Jesus or God is party is that you have security in your life knowing you are well protected and provided for this is something healthy about when you you already know that you know God takes care of me God provides for me so then you're not putting pressure on your your spouse to be the one to do the things that God do for you God's our provider gods don't want to take care of you you know I mean so and that's good because that's what God always want even though you get married he doesn't want your spouse to become your source you can't make a God out of your spouse right and you know people get married as I want to marry me a man got some money why cuz you looking for him to be your source do you understand but that's no no you you won't have to look for that kind of man when God is your source you must have a job yeah some of you just say old see that's right here you got a job 81 no now we're still looking for some practical thing and we're gonna we just don't number one number six is work what am i have a job how they knew you but you know these are things that we look for God but understand here's a man after God's own heart that God is requiring this man to love a woman as Christ loved the church and this is how he would love he's accepting her he's making her secure he's protecting her he's providing for her he's doing these things for her so it's not don't get the attitude man that you know you just look to die until God you look to God for what I ain't gonna do that no God wants you to love her like Christ loves the church and so there's a responsibility that we have toward one another in this relationship and I am to love my husband Revere Henry and regard him and do all these things that we're gonna talk about a little later and so we all have a responsibility before God before one another in this relationship and so I'm not just throwing off well you know if God don't do it it won't get done no God put it on the inside of you what to do and we're gonna show you how to do what God gives you to do one of the four thing that that you get from your relationship with God is just a purpose knowing you have a reason for living that God has a there's a there's a purpose for you being in the earthing and so that when you when you realize those things and you you just don't hook up with anybody I got a purpose of mine I have a call I have a moment I've got a destiny here's what what God is is a vision for me to do so I just can't take what God has for me to do and just just just hook it with somebody who will not allow you to fulfill that dream it'll never work okay it'll never work I cannot tell you I've had the privilege of marrying a lot of people and I've had a privilege of seeing a lot of successful marriages as a matter of fact I give God the glory but we used to do all the counseling where that was concerned and we took it very serious because we would pray and we would hear from God we wanted to know is this the will of God and we wouldn't minister you know practical things and spiritual things and then whatever God will lead us and we had a hundred percent everything was working all our merges work and then we could grew so big in ministry we couldn't do it anymore and so we begin to give it to other anointed people who are doing it and and and so we've seen some some areas where we don't see one hundred percent but it's not because of the counselors fault that's not what I'm saying but but you realize that I mean that how important it is for people to know that God has a plan for you when you get married and so your decisions has to include the plans that heaven has for you otherwise you won't be you won't you won't you can't be happy not fulfilling your dreams the reason that you're breathing how can you be happy knowing that you're not fulfilling and I said officer I've had experiences where I've brought people in my office and I knew that it wasn't the will of God and I would say to them you know I said listen you know by word of knowledge like we have a word of knowledge about something I'd say to him I said here's what he is like he's like a B C D knee and and he doesn't allow you to be who you are you'll never you feel like this and this and this and this and this and this and this and this I tabled everything and I just said can you be meriting it I don't even have to tell you not to Mary can you be married to that and then the purse be like woo get married get married getting married getting married I'm like here's what here's what's going to happen here's what's on the table he's this kind of man you noise this kind of man you're this kind of person what did God say to you they don't match and I'm not even saying no man you can it's clear for you to see and people get married anyway and two years later they divorced three years later they divorce because you remember what Paul said in Galatians he said you began in the spirit but you think you're gonna be made perfect in the flesh this this walk with God is a spiritual walk that you're not gonna reach perfection when you forget the fact that your spirit and start living only by your flesh you cannot choose the right man you cannot choose the right woman I don't care how fine she is I don't care how Hercules he may look you can't do it this thing has too much of God's destiny on your life the Bible says in Jeremiah 29 verse 11 for I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you save the Lord thoughts and plans for your welfare and peace and not for evil to give you hope in your final outcome God has already thought about you has already got thoughts and plans concerning you how dare you step over in here where someone can try to mess up God's plan for your life do you understand your breathing because you got a call you already significant you already so important to heaven that's why you are here cuz God needs you to be here and there is someone that will team up with you that will help you to fulfill the dream that heaven have every prayer that's ever answered is a prayer of thou kingdom come Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven if God gives you a man or woman it's because God is fulfilling thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven so you don't want to be hooked up with someone where heaven cannot invade the earth through your affairs in his fantasy it's too important he's already thought about you you are so significant that's why the first relationship has to be God he settles those four areas of acceptance I don't have an acceptance problem I know I'm accepted in the beloved I don't have an identity problem I Know Who I am in Christ Jesus I'm not struggling with those things so there's no room for me to feel inferior I don't need to lean on you for something that my father is already given to me before I got in this thing so when we come together we have a real godly relationship not a dependent relationship and so we failed him because that's what's wrong I'm so desperate you ignore all the flags that it ain't God I got to have me that woman she find I'm burning all the flags god let me see Shh I'll myrn that long cuz I could never get me a fine woman looking like that man I mean I when I remember building my job and in in in the Duke got saving and all of a sudden all these ladies was becoming throwing up to him I said he was ugly before that just remember you are still ugly now humble yourself and God will exalt you in due season the enemy is just trying to make you rearrange your priorities that's all temptation does temptation is to cause me to rearrange my priorities you got God in all suddeniy throws some up in a fine and your hair go like it want to go by God you losing your pride a boy come back come back you understand you losing your priorities because once they're out of order unless the Lord builds the house they labor what they labor have whatever you're doing is a waste of time if you are in a relationship you are married and you say well you know there are things that God has placed in my heart to do and and you don't feel like you can do it and those relate in your relationship it's because again here what I'm saying is this relationship with God has to be in this place and you have to have this love relationship with God cuz he and he alone can work out those things in your relationship when I talk about having a love relationship with God I'm not talking about being in your home being holier than thou and that time I having an attitude that you're so religious you know that nobody could touch you or talk to you because you know it all you're like the letter that's killing it not having the spirit that give life to what God wants to do in your relationship and when you have the Spirit of God that will lead you in your relationship even though you may say well you know he's going a different way than he thinks differently than me God knows how to put two people on the same page again nothing is impossible with God if you have to get to that place of humility to hear from God to know what to do they bring you both on the same page so that you can fulfill the vision that God has given you for your home and for your life and even where ministry is concerned you'll find that you'll have the support that you need in your home when you make God your number one priority and making God number one priority doesn't mean you forget about all the other priorities in your life when God is number one he will tell you how to put the other pieces together in your relationships and so we're not saying you know okay he ain't the one I messed up I'm I'm out let me go do what God called me to do that is not what we're saying cuz I mean Oh God hates divorce God maybe you don't know God hates divorce and so he's he knows how to make the relationship work God knew before you got married who you were gonna marry he knew who he was gonna say yes to and God has a way of making it work together for your good we just have to get the heart of God on how to come together in unity because it's there God has commanded the blessing and so God is number one priority and then your spouse and then your children and notice that children comes before your job you can't spend 24 hours working and thinking about work and never pour anything into your children you're raising up a generation who will become fatherless and motherless or have no direction and know everything they'll be put off strength in their lives because there's no one there to make an impartation in their lives you got to take the time to put impartation into the lives of your children now this is something that I never do but just so happens pastor Tony had me doing this yesterday he had me watching national Geographics I never not interested in a little bit of watching national Geographics but I wanted to be with him so I sat on the couch it was national Geographics but I found this so interesting that they were in Queen Elizabeth National Park in Uganda and they were having so many problems with animals being killed and they couldn't determine how they were being killed or why they were being killed these are huge rhinoceros over 500-pound rhinoceros they were being they're finding so many dead and they was trying to figure out who's killed now what happened and then they discovered through the footprints and all the other things and biologists coming in observing the animals and how they were killed and all that they discovered the elephants were killing their rhinoceros which is unheard of the elephant will kill anybody they don't kill for the meat they don't kill because they want to eat it they eat they're vegetarians hallelujah so they eat there they're killing these rhinoceros they don't understand why they killed these rhinoceros and so they're investigating more and more not only to killing rhinoceros they're killing the people that come into the park just mutilating them ripping their clothes us purposely taking their clothes off and then killing them and then standing and watching over them as they die and that says so unlike an elephant that they would do such a thing so through many researchers and biologists coming in and watching the elephants and watching this generation of elephants and they discovered that years ago these elephants when they were babies in the Bible says that I'm not the Bible but they have found discovered that elephant never forgets they having took over yes when I took over these elephants were babies these people would go out and they killed all these elephants were there man when he took over he just killed all these children they wanted them off the ivory of the tusks and so these baby elephants watched their parents and their elders being slaughtered and killed and as you know elephants teach their babies how to live how to conduct themselves what to do where to go where to find food how to live all that they weren't there to do that because they were all killed but they remember the people that killed them they remembered the the people who had rhinoceros and and cattle and how they would you know take their cattle to be grazed and how that was their livelihood they remembered all that so when they grew up they killed they have cattle now rhinoceros that is it nothing was not not run out these books anyway so the whole point of it was that these kids Geographic these the whole point was these babies grew up remember that and they just went buck wild they just may were dysfunctional because of what had taken place in the family nobody was there to pardon them to raise them up of how to conduct themselves so they just they were they would have nightmares no prob like when ever go to bed they would they would make horn noises as what they would call it as a result they were having nightmares and the nightmares that they were having was with but it took him place to the patriarchs of the family and so when they got big enough they were so destructive because there was no leadership in the house to guide and direct and impart them so they were like juveniles that we have our juveniles today that are going around and shooting they're killing their Robin because there's no father's in this house there's no leaders in the house there's no parenting in the house so our kids are left to be wild and do whatever their because there's no one pulling them aside bringing correction teaching them how they should be and what they should not do and so that's what was happening to the same things happens to the humans they found is now happening to these animals that there are absolutely just killing everything just because there is nothing in them to train them to do what's right so they were killing the rhinoceroses at incredible numbers they were killing them one a week and and and and they were lost maybe over like 61 and in a month I mean they were killing they were and he was a white rhinoceros who on the end date endangered species and they were concerned how do we stop it and they realized it wasn't one that was doing because they thought it was one so they just started shooting and killing elephants thinking well we found the ones that did it but it wasn't one they found it was the whole generation of kids that grew up without the leadership of a father and a mother to impart on him the kids were so wild they were uncontrollable so they just went out and they just killed anything that they could kill and so they would see a man go by and they remember I mean how did the villagers would would even hunt them and kill him so they would just kill him and they would kill they cattles and wherever they wouldn't notice cattle they knew people would be there so they would find the cattle to find people and they were roaming by theirselves he would and it wasn't group so it wasn't and so the only thing they couldn't change it because that's an elephant has a tremendous memory system he has a great memory remembers everything and so they were saying the same thing happens when you don't have the kind of you know family life structure that we need to be successful when were to give the give the kind of Pradas that need to be given so we need to have the products but we need to teach those same products to our children they need to have the correct products so that they know how to act when you're home and when you're not at home when they go to school and when they're not at school and if we don't have the you know right structure in our homes it confuses our kids you know you know mom don't ever want to come home dad looking at TV all day long I mean you just you understand so we've got to make sure that we put the family back in this proper place amen you have to make you have to make your children a part of your priority you have to take the time to impart to them you can't get upset about them doing something boy you ten years old don't you know what they don't know anything unless you told them they don't know anything unless you put it in them and so sometimes we think because our children are certain age they should know certain things but they don't know if nobody ever taught them just like you know we could just automatically assume that y'all grown in here y'all should know certain things but we understand you don't know unless it's important to you and there's some things that has to be in Friday into your children and the only way that you can impart those things as if you make them but part of your priority in your home and not leave them to himself the Bible says a son or daughter left to himself will be ashamed to his mother and so you don't want to them to cause you shame you want to be make them part of your priority and so that they can grow up to be healthy Christians healthy children in your home amen amen come on stand to your feet we just got number one glory to God did we help anybody here today glory to God it's important that we really get this cuz I believe that God is causing this church to be a leader in this community and we've got to be able to lead on all facets of living in the spiritual community and also in the natural community we've got to be leaders because this generation is void of good leadership some it's important come on let's just lift your hand to God and let's just thank God for the word father we're so honored that that you're raising up a generation of great leaders leadership that is that includes the family it includes humanity but God we realized that we must take our position our place so that we can affect the world because we have a message that preaches more than words it's a lifestyle sometime the greatest message that a man will ever hear is how we live how we conduct ourselves among our families and so father I thank you for the thousands of thousands of people that you have called to this ministry that you're raising a people that will be a pillar that will be a model for those to follow that they can say well that's what it is to be a part of this kingdom so with every relationship with every family god we pray set things in its proper place because everyone here is so significant and so needed in the kingdom god we speak well over the households of everyone here we speak health and well-being but we are absolutely committed to effecting this generation this community and God we declare in Jesus name every man every woman every boy that you've called to come under the influence of the kingdom through the people that are here god we will not lose not one of them from the jail house to the schoolhouse to everyone's house in this area father we just claim it now in the name of Jesus thank you Father for every building every land every person glory that we will lay hold to because you have called us to do so and no enemy will take what you have from any one of us you won't take our children you want to take our health once they got finances won't take the will of God from us you will not take anything that you've called us I speak prosperity go in the name of Jesus and everybody in agreement says a man how many people know that real prosperity starts with with with the family he said if you don't have a rule well your household how shall you rule the house of God so it starts where we had today amen how many ready to give you offering today amen

Channel: VCMI VA

Views: 14,020

Rating: 4.8644066 out of 5

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Id: mFjBz6kiJ9I

Length: 63min 43sec (3823 seconds)

Published: Sun Jan 27 2013