Brother-In-Law says I have NO VALUE to SOCIETY or MY FAMILY... so I EXPOSE HIS SINS to my FAMILY

my entitled brother-in-law is constantly criticizing me for my job claiming that my work in life has no value to society or my family but after he said that I saw red and I snapped back at him in a way that I've honestly never done before in my life airing out dirty laundry that he has going on with my sister and essentially humiliating him in front of my entire family and right now as a result my family is very upset with me and at this point I seriously don't know what to do here's what happened so I'm at my wits and with my brother-in-law for the sake of the story we'll call him David David is not his real name for reference I work in environmental advocacy a field I'm deeply passionate about but he constantly belittles my career and efforts at every family gathering he makes snide remarks about how I'm just hugging trees or living in a fantasy while he's in the real world making real money I've tried to brush it off or engage in constructive conversations but he doubles down making me feel small and invalidated it's probably just a joke for him but it can get really annoying last week we had a barbecue over at our parents and it was supposed to be a peaceful Gathering David started on his usual tirade but this time he went further criticizing the effectiveness of environmental work and mockingly suggesting that I contribute nothing of value to society or my family and when he said that I saw red it wasn't just a jab in my career anymore as it felt like an attack on my character and my values so I snapped I called him out in front of everybody accusing him of being narrow-minded ignorant and this is where I may have went wrong but I also told him how I know my sister is unhappy with him I won't say things in detail here but I have blurted out a private issue that they have I also called him negligent to his family and how he just outsources his responsibilities and that he is only good at bragging about his financial contributions my sister who is his wife was deeply upset that I dragged personal matters into this and everyone was dismayed by the level of hostility that day I wondered if I was the jerk for letting my emotions get the best of me and ruining what was supposed to be a nice family time while I stand by my beliefs and I feel David's provocations were uncalled for I can't help but feel guilty for what happened so honestly am I the jerk here what should I do no you are definitely not the jerk David reaped exactly what he sowed and this guy's been treating you like garbage clearly in private for way too long like this guy goes out of his way to make sure you feel like garbage all because of your job like seriously this guy is already just a giant bully and a massive loser this guy's like ooh I'm doing stuff in the real world you're just in a fantasy land like he clearly saw you as an easy target in some kind of way so he would always go after you because he knew he could get away with it but now and I'm right here with you he definitely crossed a line he said that you're of no value to your family like if someone said that to me I think I would snap at them as well and I would not care about where I was at that moment in the slightest like this guy went after your core values as a human being and how you treat your family in general like that is so uncalled for because it's proof right then and there that he doesn't just have a problem with your job he clearly has a problem with you personally as a human being and that is honestly so disgusting in my opinion so sure you aired some dirty laundry but this guy 100% started it and in my opinion if he did not want this to escalate in a really uncomfortable Direction then he should not have been the one to pour gasoline on this fire and yes what you said was probably not appropriate for like a family gathering or whatever but neither is any of the stuff he's been saying to you for God knows how long you do not deserve to be treated like that and you are not the bad guy for standing up for yourself and telling this guy to get lost because this guy's been a massive jerk to you in the past and it was only a matter of time until you shut him down if you like am I the jerk you're probably going to love am I the genius check it out link Down Below in the description also go to Mi thee jerk.com sssubmit if you would like to submit your own stories my husband constantly forgets to lock the front door despite the fact that we live in a sketchy neighborhood and I myself have had issues with strange men trying to break into our house and at this point I'm seriously at my wits end and I now just don't know what to do here's what happened okay so my family lives in a sketchy neighborhood which I am trying to change but in the meantime my husband cannot remember to always lock the front door it is not uncommon for break-ins to happen around here and I see people with substance and mental health problems walking down the streets every single day a few months ago I was home alone with my small children and a man I'd never seen before started banging on my front door he was banging on the Windows looking in the windows and yelling for me to let him in and this went on for 20 minutes until the police arrived and thankfully he was kept out because the doors were locked but even after this my husband still forgets to lock the front door sometimes he never forgets to put on his seat belt but he can't remember how to keep the front door locked he says that he would love to be able to remember but he can't figure out how to guarantee it and I'm honestly so mad at this point I don't feel safe my kids are not safe I cannot understand how he still has not sorted this out is there something that I should do to make sure that he remembers because at this point I seriously don't know what to do wow I can't believe your husband can't remember to lock the door after a crazy man was pounding on your doors and your windows demanding that you let him in like is this guy dents or what like seriously what gives the fact that he can't guarantee that he's going to lock the door is so unbelievably disappointing it's not even funny like does he realize the gravity of the situation he's being careless and it's going to be at your expense and there's literally no good excuse for not locking the door in a sketchy neighborhood this isn't him like forgetting his phone or like misplacing something this is him literally putting his family in danger and it's going to take something awful happening for him to suddenly be like oh yeah I should have locked the door so I don't know if there's maybe like an automatic locking door that you could look into or something like that to try and mitigate your husband forgetting to lock the door because in my opinion there is no good excuse for that and the fact that he doesn't see this as more urgent in my opinion is incredibly disturbing my husband does absolutely nothing around the house constantly leaving me to do all the work around the house right after I get off a 10-hour workshift but now I've decided to move out and live on my own and I'm starting to second guess myself wondering if that's the right move for me in my life here's what happened so I left my husband and I don't know if I'm doing the right thing I know I'm not imagining how unhappy I was before but he insists that we can fix it I want us to live together as a happy family but I don't trust him to follow through so I wanted to post here just to get an Outsiders perspective for the sake of the story we'll call my husband Dave now I was doing the triple burden I was working doing housework and handling child care and anything else child related I'm responsible for buying kids clothing arranging play dates and doctor's appointments as well as school events and Dave doesn't do any of these he says I'm better at it he also also finds ways to belittle me in front of other people he says he doesn't mean to and it's just a cultural difference but my friends and family all find it very uncomfortable I dread going out with him with others as he always finds a way to embarrass me before Christmas Dave lost a big contract so he has been out of work and not really doing anything I think he's actually been depressed as it's very important to him to provide for his family but he won't go to the doctor or talk to anyone I've been trying to push him to get a job in a shop to earn literally any money but he refuses as I'm just nagging him about it meanwhile I changed jobs and went full-time for the first time in 5 years partly for the money and partly for career advancement the only issue with my new job is that they don't believe in a set schedule so my working days and hours are all over the place sometimes I'm home as late as 10:00 p.m. I know the hours suck but it's a one-year contract for an incredibly good company and I want to use it as a stepping stone for a better job I thought with him out of work and me working all the time he might step up in some kind of way but I would come home and the plates would all still be in the sink I started getting really angry and resentful that I was having to work so hard at all angles just to keep our family afloat if I asked him to do any housework he would forget and say it's not a big deal and that it only takes 5 minutes and I would say yeah that's 5 minutes in your 8 hours of nothing or it's 5 minutes after my 10-hour workday I tried to leave at Christmas but after some very long talk Dave agreed to step up around the house he started doing a bit of laundry and a bit of washing up he also ran out of money so I had to take a large loan just to cover the bills I've been paying for everything for the past 3 to 4 months I eventually approached a charity and told them about everything and they agreed to help me out they paid the deposit and the first month's rent for a flat and I left last week since then Dave has been devastated he says he doesn't want to be without me he misses me and he wants a future with me he really wants to try and fix this but you know what I feel lighter than I have in a long time I'm actually excited about the new place and a fresh start but I also feel really guilty that he's so upset I feel like I'm betraying him so I'm honestly torn do I ask him to move with me and just hope and trust that a fresh start will be better can we get past all this damage or do I stay by myself and leave him suffering what should I do okay in my opinion unless some serious changes happen from your husband there's no way in the world I would personally ever move back wishful thinking is not progress wishing that they do better and just hoping and trusting that they improve that is not something you can Bank on and there's no way I would ever lean on that kind of Wishful Thinking in the slightest because seriously just reflect on what you wrote in the first place he does nothing around the house and he refuses to get a job like this guy has got to step up and do more and there's no amount of like wishful thinking that's going to make that happen he needs to just get up and do it because right now he's been relying on the fact that you're going to do it instead dead and as a result you've got to work 10-hour work days and be stuck in this one-year contract just to make things work like that seriously sounds awful and I would not want to put up with that in the slightest so I really do wish the best for you and hopefully you're able to make a decision based off progress that's actually being made because relying on what you want him to be as opposed to what he is right now in my opinion is only going to lead to more heartache am I the jerk for going scuba diving for a week rather than going home to my girlfriend and newborn all because her mother will not leave our house here's what happened so before I met my girlfriend I had a pretty easy life I would work for 2 weeks and then I would get 2 weeks off I had a small self storage unit for stuff that I didn't want to get rid of other than that I lived out of a suitcase at work and all-inclusive resorts I even got the staff to do my laundry I met my girlfriend who we will call Madison for the sake of the Story 3 years ago and we hit it off Madison is not her real name she has a more regular schedule so I started spending my weeks off with her after a year of this I moved in with her since I had been staying at her house all the time we didn't go away together so it wasn't a huge change a year later she got pregnant it wasn't planned but it was not a surprise we had been talking about starting a family and she had gone off birth control we had our son in November and her mom came to stay with us to help and here is where it went really badly her mom just simply won't leave she won't let me hold my son she won't let me change a diaper or bathe him she literally won't let me do anything I have talked to her about it and she says she's sorry but it doesn't change I told my girlfriend that it was time for her mom to go home but the problem is is that I'm gone for 2 weeks at a time and she still wants help I said that I could get my sister to help out or something like that or we could hire someone to be there the weeks that I'm gone but she said no January was the last time off that I had and I got to hold my son for maybe 2 hours total I told her that I was done and that her mom needed to leave our home my girlfriend said that it was her house and she wanted her mom there as well I went back to work but I was angry I booked myself a vacation and I went scuba diving I still gave my girlfriend the money I agreed to give her for her budget I told her that if her mom was still there when I came home I was going to take some time for myself well her mom was there she would not hand over my son so I picked up my luggage and I went back to my Uber and I left the next day she was calling and texting all night but I didn't think there was anything to discuss I then just went to Mexico for 10 days when I got back I called her and asked if her mom was going to be there next time I came home she called me a jerk for trying to manipulate her and gaslighter but I'm really not sure how I did that at all I'm back at work now and we're talking every single day her mom has not left and I was clear that I wasn't going to stay there if she was there while I was home my girlfriend is alternating between begging me to come home as well as calling me a jerk so honestly am I the jerk in this situation because right now I seriously don't know what to do I kind of feel like everybody sucks in this situation because seriously what is happening right now for St ERS you're not able to hold your son when you get home all because your girlfriend's mom is there basically hogging the child like all the time like that's not okay but also you leaving for Mexico for 10 days instead of being an adult and stepping up and talking to your girlfriend that seems bizarre to me and it seems like a really weird way to respond to this kind of situation but on the other side of this like why is the mom always there and why has your girlfriend not respected anything that you're trying to say like you have made it pretty clear that the mom in this story is absolutely being obnoxious and she's not even letting you hold your son or bathe him or do anything I think that's the fact alone that would drive me nuts because this lady's acting like it's her child and you somehow just don't have any say over what happens to him so yeah everybody kind of sucks here and I think some changes definitely need to be made because as it stands things are definitely really messy am I the jerk for telling my friends that my ex is a gold digger because right now my ex-girlfriend is not happy and at this point I seriously don't know what to do here's what happened okay so my ex and I broke up a few months ago and she makes about double what I make she makes about $120,000 a year and I make about $55,000 a year she's very frugal and I'm more relaxed with money we do split things half and half with dates but she does complain that I never treat her which I don't because she makes more money than I do she also I know has a lot of savings and a fully funded 401k and Roth a year into our relationship she bought a brand new car in cash so she really does not need money from me or to be stingy I have a few thousands in savings as well as some credit card debt that I'm paying off but that was from when I was out of work we dated for 2 years and have been trying to moveing together for a while but it never worked out because she refuses to pay more she works from home so she can live anywhere but I have to live somewhat near work as I am on call several weeks every few months and they expect me at work within 30 minutes but my work is near downtown so it is a bit more in rent she refused to pay more than half on rent because it was near my work and therefore more expensive I live with three roommates and my current rent is near the max of what I can afford if I move to be with her then I pay more than I do now and it's more than I can afford she splits it with her roommate and claims it's not fair that I make her pay more than what she does now this issue was a long-standing one and never went away and then she broke up with me basically telling me that I don't make enough for her to effectively have an equal relationship with I was devastated because I make less than all my friends and family and it feels like my manhood is being called into question I work in an essential role and I feel like I'm being put down because I don't make enough even though I do important work for society so I've been telling my friend she broke up with me because she is a gold digger because she cared too much about what I make I don't care that it's a crass thing to do she should have valued me more than just what I made some of our mutual friends told her and she made an Instagram post calling me out saying that I'm a jerk for calling her a gold digger when she made more money than I did and the relationship ended because I expected her to pay more on rent I don't think it was the main issue and it was really just the fact that she didn't value me enough beyond what I made so honestly am I the jerk in this situation what should I do honestly it seems like everybody kind of sucks here it seems like the only reason you're trying to be like oh yeah she's a gold digger isn't because she didn't respect you for what you did and like the person you are but instead it seems like you're just salty that she didn't step up and pay more for rent now don't get me wrong it really does suck that she only saw you in dollar signs instead of like who you are as a person like that in and of itself really is not fair but also based on what you described it really didn't seem like this situation was going to like result in a long lasting relationship like it really didn't seem like you guys were compatible you had different goals and different expectations and she was not willing to meet you exactly where you are right now so yeah it was kind of a jerk move to be like yeah she's a gold digger all she cared about was how much money I made but it really doesn't seem like she was after like the money you make because she made more money than you so it almost seems like a really dumb insult to throw her way because it doesn't totally make sense so honestly if I was in your shoes I would just look forward and move on from this relationship because clearly it was not a good one and I think you'll be better off looking for someone who cares about you personally instead of determining your worth based off how much money you make my entitled future mother-in-law demands that me and my fiance name our firstborn daughter after her name but after dealing with this lady on several occasions as well as seeing how absolutely insane she is I'm now putting my foot down and demanding that this never happens and at this point I seriously don't know what to do I'm a 19-year-old female and I'm engaged to my 20-year-old fiance we're having a long engagement because we're so young now we're not thinking of having kids just yet but it has been mentioned by my fiance that his mom's dream was to have her firstborn granddaughter named after her we're going to call my fiance's mom Leslie Leslie is not her real name Leslie has a granddaughter already who she refuses to see because she hates the baby's mom we'll call the baby's mom Kathy Cathy is also not her real name while Cathy isn't perfect and I'm sure has done plenty Leslie has her own issues she needs to work out she's the kind of mom who will have issues where she only likes the girlfriend that follows everything that she says and trust me when I say this I am not that girlfriend but somehow she is still a fan of me now I thought my fiance was joking when he said he wanted to name our firstborn daughter after his mom and I seriously thought they meant like a nickname or even her middle name but they meant like the baby's actual exact name has to be Leslie and I do like the name Leslie as it is however now I no longer see eye to eye or like Leslie in the slightest we had gotten into it probably a little after my birthday in January it had snowed and it was really cold we got into it so bad that I tried to leave at midnight in just my pajamas and a sweater because I needed to get out of there she was making me feel completely unsafe she was talking about how I should just let Cathy ruin me and break me apart and let her manipulate me which in turn I told Leslie that she was manipul ating me by saying all these things and I tried to leave but she blocked my exit so I had to literally shove past her and when she tried to follow me she made contact with the door she then said that she didn't want to fight with me and that I shouldn't have hit her with a door because she never lets females do those things to her like that I mean this lady is crazy so I talked to my fiance and I told him that I'm no longer interested in naming my daughter after Leslie and that if I was to name her after Leslie I would resent my daughter and her name and I wasn't going to do that to myself or my child now when it comes to my fiance he really is a great person he just really lacks a backbone like there are times when he stands up for me in some kind of way but I've rarely been around when he does it I just don't understand I've asked him before am I your number one priority or not and he says yes but I really just don't believe him so honestly am I the jerk for not wanting to name my future daughter after his mom because at this point I seriously don't know what to do no you are definitely not the jerk your boy boyfriend's mom is absolutely insane if I'm being completely honest any parent who puts this weird pressure on their kids to do certain things in their marriage in my opinion are completely out of line it's usually a sign that they're super controlling and manipulative and this is them trying to extend that manipulation into a future marriage so for the mom to be like yeah you're going to name your future granddaughter after my name it's like nope that's definitely not going to happen there's no way I'm going to let that happen not to mention the fact that she acts insane 90% of the time like I don't know about you but there's no way I would want to name my future daughter after somebody crazy that I have to put up with now because that would be absolutely miserable and there's no way I would want to put up with that for the rest of my life when you subscribe make sure to hit the Bell to turn on notifications to finish listening to all the stories check out the playlist at the top of the description and if you want some chill music to put on in the background check out easy mode.com if you like am I the jerk subscribe 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Channel: Am I the Jerk?

Views: 32,542

Keywords: subreddit, reddit top posts, funny reddit, funny reddit posts, reddit, reddit storytime, r/confession, r/confessions, r/tifu, r/maliciouscompliance, r/prorevenge, r/choosingbeggars, r/IDOWorkherelady, r/Idontworkherelady, r/AmITheA**hole, r/AITA, finance, real estate, podcast, funny, am i the jerk, i am the jerk, im the jerk

Id: TlhK86GU2uc

Length: 20min 57sec (1257 seconds)

Published: Mon Mar 25 2024