Brides by Force. Marriage by kidnapping pushes Kyrgyz women to suicide

as this killed his wedding draws to a close Zarina the bride bids her parents a tearful goodbye she won't see them for over a week after the ceremony the bride will be taken to her new husband's house and kept in a room for seven days the young wife will have to spend all that time with her husband so she can get to know him she's never even kissed him embraced him or held his hand before what's more not one of the guests can be certain that the groom has ever even proposed his arena or if he simply kidnapped her Venera Kasim Oliver was also a bride once however there was no white dress or limousine at her wedding the nearer lived with her husband for only a week then she ran away to hang herself see at the governor everyone was trying to persuade her that living together will be okay Blanca and this boy was also crying hard trying to talk Venera into this marriage that's she wanted to give it a try of however they didn't walk new horrorshow the story shocked vanaras fellow students at the state university in a circle as Venera had been kidnapped not from the remote countryside or even a dark alleyway but on her way home from school in broad daylight a car stopped on the University campus three strangers dropped out grabbed Venera and took her to a nearby village one of the kidnappers then said now you will be my wife she called me every day after she'd been kidnapped even though she was a strong girl she was crying all the time well she kept on both saying that she just didn't like it there you're good I told her to go away and to tell her sisters everything but she was scared she thought they would tell her to stay there she should though and that's why she didn't tell anyone a word I remember was that she was a monitor of the grip I would never think that such a strong person could do this kind of thing to herself let me get there how she wanted to be famous man and she could have been if she was still alive Vanaras relatives are preparing barzakh fried bread traditionally made for weddings and funeral ceremonies every time the neighbors get together they reminisce about Venera but they believe that you can't escape from fate because of the Cure gays have this kind of mentality once a girl gets married she has to live with a man no matter what even if he is a freak even if he is King Kong Venera Casimir Eva's tragic story could have been written off as a unique case were it not for the fact that just a year later another girl Norah's ethically kava also took her own life and a year after that IRA's khasimbai did the same thing none of the three girls were able to live with the shame of forced marriage Alma's is mine of an author from the capital Bishkek has chosen to write a book on the subject of Kyrgyz brides he is called on his friend as he is to join him their views on wedding traditions have never been the same as it has two grown-up daughters who were to get married soon their father calls on them every evening but before leaving he warned his daughters not to spend time outside the house after school the girls at a head straight home as is his greatest fear is that they may be kidnapped wait there are some guys from the mountains who don't care at all if she's 15 after all her age is not written down on her forehead and they have no idea she's only a schoolgirl so she is very likely to be kidnapped sometimes when I hear some guy calling her I ask her who he is and why is he calling oh do you yes just too young for that what if classmates call them no they should only call in the afternoon I some - he studied in the same school as her so many in our district know him and are somewhat afraid of him because he is the champion of Kyrgyzstan in fighting off admirers yes and fighting off admirers the two friends are planning to travel around the country to look into why this tradition has led to so many tragedies I do not understand why the girls hung themselves like that it's foolish why hang themselves only because they felt ashamed time works wonders for example he could have died an early death and she would have got everything he had according to the Kyrgyz women's help center almost a third of all married women in the country were kidnapped by their husbands for instance in the aasaiya family the brides have always been kidnapped they simply consider it a tradition as custom dictates the youngest son must live with his parents his wife is obliged to do all the household chores cleaning cooking and gardening she must also take care of her in-laws all the mother-in-law has to do is babysit her grandchildren and this continues until the girl's own child grows up and takes his wife into the house and repeats the cycle the custom has existed for centuries kidnapped girls eventually learn to live with their husbands and even become grateful for having been chosen he drove a tractor he'd work in the field and then spend the night in our house he was young so he had far in his blood and he fell in love with me that was a case wasn't it yes that's true she was beautiful and smart once I saw her I immediately dragged her into my tractor but she liked me too well of course I like him otherwise I wouldn't have given birth till I'm sure how could that have happens if I didn't like him Azamat desai off' kidnapped his wife from a music school because he himself likes to play the guitar and sing after they were married he and his wife Samara sometimes organized concerts at different family occasions but now they've given that up they say they have so many chores but there isn't time for singing songs I used to live with the student dorms and my roommates and I went to sleep one night suddenly there was a knock on the door open up its the police we're checking documents as we opened the door some seven or eight guys surrounded me they grabbed me and brought me here if my husband turned out to be bad I would probably leave him but Azamat is a good husband however in the district where the ax science live there have been three suicides these students regularly put on theatrical productions this play discusses how brides are often kidnapped a girl is taken to her future husband's home where she's surrounded by his relatives who tried to put a white scarf on her head the symbol of marriage doctors teachers and lawyers are among most sought after brides in Kyrgyzstan it says she starts speaking here with Anya good let's say that the girl has not graduated yet she has graduated let's say she is in her final year she won't be allowed to work afterwards if she is not graduated yet the story becomes even sadder because she has studied for four years for nothing according to the Kyrgyz women's Help Center every year sees around 16,000 brides kidnapped that means that every 40 minutes another girl is abducted however the kidnappers themselves are rarely taken to court to answer for their crimes if the character 596 that's how many reports the police received in 2009 concerning the theft of private property offices but the crime of kidnapping a woman just one girls in Kyrgyzstan can't abandon their unloved husbands they fear not only the condemnation of their neighbors but also being cursed the husband's grandmother may lie on the floor and ask are you ready to defy old age it's believed that if a girl dares do so she'll be miserable all of her life bhakta gulia among Gulliver's mother still can't forgive herself for having a baby old woman and not helping her daughter to escape she and her parents felt too intimidated by tradition she said that it's with took her away both of us will suffer a lot she said she was going to curse us and my mom said we could not disobey the woman as she was so old she told us not to step over her and we left and so the girl stayed a week later she slashed her own wrists and tried to overdose doctors managed to save her life but the experience left bhakti gulia disabled at the age of 38 she still lives with her mother I don't have children I even don't have a husband but I want to have children and a husband manara Buckner's Oliver from the open line Foundation has come to visit the organization looks into bride kidnapping across the country including old cases the practice has always been an issue but has never been discussed openly it was the buyers were you simply afraid that you wouldn't be accepted at home and then they would talk about me if I left is that somehow a fate worse than death of course seriously at that time yes it was even scarier I didn't want people to talk about me saying that well I'd been kidnapped but that I didn't want to live with the man who kidnapped me everyone believes that if you're kidnapped you have to just agree to it ahead but you more I can't help wondering why they value themselves so poorly we had just one case when a girl stepped over an old woman and said excuse me old woman but this is my life and I won't let anyone manipulate me although not every Kyrgyz family has a sad story of kidnapping to tell yeah I was turning 18 when I met her in the spring I was conscripted into the army I returned to discover that they kidnapped her the day before I got back but what could I do it was fate there are some traditions that I like and there are some that I don't like at all I don't understand some of them when I was about to get married well we are not supposed to talk about our intentions openly so I put it bluntly that I loved their daughter and wanted to marry her I asked them if they would let me and then there was a long pause and I realized that was too open but then everyone smiled diplomatically and asked who wanted to have some pilaf the two friends have many stories but now continue their journey to explore why those who've ruined other people's lives do not receive proper punishment in a country with a weak economy people often rely on farming for survival this means hard work that doesn't always pay off the price for ten kilograms of cotton is only $1 even though it takes a laborer a whole day to gather that much and they don't even get the money instead they're paid in cotton oil that's why most of the workforce heads to Russia Kazakhstan or other foreign countries to seek employment most of the money they earn is spent on wedding ceremonies until it wound up the stiffened anger a condom I'm gonna do the last no cuz young you're gonna get injured Huggies wedding brings together around a thousand people on average guests arrive throughout the day the closest relatives even begin sending their messages a couple of days before the actual ceremony hosts have a hard time wining and dining the guests traditionally after the wedding ceremony they're given delicacies to take home a single Kyrgyz wedding ceremony requires about 15 lambs two horses forty kilos of pill earth and at least a thousand traditional flat bread loaves lawyer me a snicker there are two butchers here and they know specifically what parts should be served to whom this is ma Mott and he is taking care of the pilaf for walk dear life catchy big silly F spent a whole year in Russia sweeping the streets to save money for his son's wedding he paid the bride's relatives the equivalent of some $2,500 he also paid for gifts and other treats Oh the bridegroom on deck balance a layer followed in his father's footsteps by working as a taxi driver in the Russian city of Novosibirsk there he earned much more money than he could ever have earned at his native village there are hardly any job opportunities for young people in Kyrgyzstan Beck ballot could afford to rent a limousine with the money he earned in Russia the country where he met his future wife we fell for each other after only a couple of dates the bridegroom's friends liked to tease him by calling his bride a hockey player a reference to her work as a cleaner in a car showroom where they say her mop was like a hockey stick he and his friends forced their way into the bride's house and broke the lock on her door the elders disapproved insisting that the kidnap tradition had not been upheld this is our grandfather he sits here sipping tea and does nothing he's like a saintly elder solemn one of the most revered traditions is that a presenting gift at a wedding ceremony each guest is supposed to bring a traditional hat for the man and a scarf for the lady and so not one of the gifts can be put to any practical use there are no ion's kettles or vacuum cleaners nothing but a thousand hats or scarves we are going to keep all that in a chest when we are invited to a wedding we in turn will tuck away the gifts present it to us people know that when they are invited to a wedding they will take the gifts out of the chest and give them to the newlyweds we don't need those things at all but presenting gifts is a tradition something we can't do without wedding traditions in Kyrgyzstan are more like a transaction in a love match a bride price can be as high as four thousand dollars making abduction a much cheaper alternative if you have a doctor bride you don't pay much but paying bright price is a different story then it's an all-out bargain if you wants to throw a plush wedding you have to lay out more than three thousand dollars but in the events of abductions the cost comes down to about 1,500 the Knockouts district authorities are conducting an experiment to curb abductions they plan to limit the amount that can be spent on wedding ceremonies the bride price in knockout is now set at $1,000 five slaughtered lambs are the limit for any wedding and no horses are allowed to be killed for the occasion though there are no penalties for offenders those words I firmly believe that people shouldn't go to the registry office in jeeps or Hummers with more ordinary Mercedes or a simpler car will do predictably not all the old-timers share my view I do pulling up in a minute pumpkin I mean but then some of them were comfortable in the situation that existed until now they would drop in on a wedding grab a kilo of meat and four or five loaves and go back home so I told them they could eat as much as they liked on such occasions but I asked them not to take any food away common folk see me as a reformer but some elders and wealthy people regard me as a nasty miser human rights campaigners have tried to fight kidnapping by referring to this Criminal Code the penalty for kidnap can be up to 15 years but Kyrgyz law protects property more strongly than a woman's freedom you should go through the puzzles it's a conflict of legal terms people representing law enforcement bodies have even addressed Drowned table discussions to say that this article should be excluded from the Criminal Code and offenders should be charged under the kidnapping article but usually the men there disagree with this would have noticeable would I wish no well as a rule brides are captured or shall I say stolen by several young men but sometimes friends of the groom family members and even worse clerics Sula they are respected people really good maid duty even they make it clear that bride kidnapping conflicts with the Islamic law that's ready to come on them Islam on the captain's relatives and friends go unpunished and so they feel free to abduct another young woman young girls who run away find themselves in a more difficult situation the fact is that if a young woman spends even one night in someone else's house she's considered tainted and will never be able to marry kiss Barack ad carry mother and her baby have been staying at a crisis center for ten months she has nowhere else to go her parents refused to allow her back into their home campaigners at the open line movement make short films on the subject in this film our hero is a little girl whose parents were always by her side to help him we same day video that when she grows up she's abducted but decides to flee the abductors house her parents her in two minds about her decision what will neighbors say if they allow her to come back we want to know why they refused to allow their daughter to come home that's how we're trying to bring down stereotypes I want to persuade the young woman's parents to give their daughter a chance to make her own decision the videos point out that abduction is a criminal offense but kidnappers are only given three years in prison by contrast people who steal livestock are put behind bars for 11 years ideal is you put that for saving a member of parliament others even came out and said bush at least you can eat a cow like motional do you get 11 years for cattle rustling is it complete and utter forest all was lesson sheep mind you they voted in favor of legislation against stealing sheep in the first reading campaigners from open line take to the street to tell young women what they should do if abducted they're told not to be afraid of anything and to immediately go to the police do you know what to do if you're abducted do other girls know I don't think they do because they stay on in many cases do you know what is the right thing to do in case you were abducted protect everyone screaming shouts let me go we've heard a lot of different stories some of them are astounding simply because they are routine somebody comes and kidnaps them that's the end of it you begin wondering whether such traditions are traditions at all the author EL Maas and his friend Aziz have traveled around Kyrgyzstan for two weeks during that time they have only come across one young woman who has defied tradition her name is Venera I like others in the same situation she didn't cry but tried to settle the matter amicably with the bridegroom's parents or this family it will be a disgrace if the bride leaves yes but I told them let's not argue you just let me go and that will be it her abductors were determined to persuade Venera to stay with them but she refused to give in when she called her father he sent her brothers to bring her back yeah as soon as I saw them I tossed the scarf away and then the guy showed up fighting with tears in his eyes he pleaded with me not to leave him he said he loved me and so on and I told him then you should have said that to begin with that was cuz I'd seen your story of his nods at them Venera resumed her studies at University and found employment but her parents still believed that leaving the family was wrong they argue that Venera is now 24 years old and past her prime by Kyrgyz standards yes I think that these traditions and stereotypes of ours are just terribly outdated the two travelers were in for another surprise after that encounter the first man to be charged with abducting a bride had been convicted in Kyrgyzstan it's a great victory he was sentenced to six years in a medium-security prison colony we hadn't expected anything like that would ever happen because article 155 of the Criminal Code is too liberal the parents of one of the Dead young women are sick and tired of gossiping neighbors her mother keeps the house doors shut and shoes passes by away she blames herself for her daughter's death the bridegroom stole her wrist during the night after phoning to lure her away from the house he took her to his village where she was raped yes I mean she was taken by force baby she didn't understand what was going on sure she was the youngest daughter and she was a virgin it still pains me here in my heart when we came to take our daughter away Sharif used to go saying she was too ashamed to face other people I felt she was in very low spirits but thought things might yet work out somehow so we left Paris was persuaded to flee by her sister after returning home there is talked with her mother throughout the night she spoke of her plans saying she wanted to go to Bishkek but in the morning she hanged herself in a shed the criminal was convicted on three counts abduction rape and forced suicide but people in his native village feel justice was not done they say the girl died after being separated from the man she loved Alma's is manof would like to know what the bridegroom thinks about it all but so far has not been allowed to see him the kidnapper has launched an appeal and the chances are he may be set free the final chapter in Alma's book is yet to be written

Channel: RT Documentary

Views: 5,638,468

Rating: 4.6410069 out of 5

Keywords: RT, Russia Today, RT Documentary, RT Doc, RT docs, documentary, Brides, Kidnapping, tradition, Kyrgyzstan (Country), Bride kidnapping, wedding ceremony, women, marriage, forced marriage, child marriage, world news, womens rights, forced marriage drama

Id: l-Wl6zbrat0

Length: 25min 42sec (1542 seconds)

Published: Sat Jul 19 2014

Reddit Comments

[u/HalLundy]

And Romania.

[u/sunbunnyloveshue]

So sad. WTH! Fucking unreal!