BPD Recovery - Corrective Relationships | JOHN GUNDERSON

life is a great teacher and psychotherapy can accelerate lessons that life teach the lessons are that it never works they never can sustain the relationship which is based on this idea that somebody will never leave them or will never disagree with them or never disapprove of them it just isn't going to happen now when you get a treater involved in this the same thing can happen there's high hopes that this is a person who's gonna really care but the hour ends they go home they have their own life it is inherent in the therapy relationship that the there are limitations of availability and shared attention with with other people some patients get reconciled to this and they create relationships which are not so exclusive or where their hopes are not so high but part and parcel of that often is some kind of depression that's associated with that they will never ever get what they feel they really need and that they have to settle for many relationships that are more stabilizing each of them serve some of this function but none of them is really really fulfilling so it's the unusual borderline but it can happen who can get into a relationship was truly corrective of this basic handicap that can sometimes occur through a stable partnership with another adult a few times with a therapist but largely it's the therapy relationship is a springboard for doing better in the outside world and you might be able to get a partner in the outside world which really is fulfilling and after a period of times your attachment becomes stabilized and more secure sometimes it happens when someone with borderline personality disorder has a child and the child provides a corrective relationship it's a kind of non contingent relationship where they really can feel fulfilled and the and take into themselves a more a better sense of themselves as a good person and that then gets internalized that's the word I was looking for that makes them more secure in their other relationships but those are the it doesn't happen that often I think inherent what I've said is there's a lot of good luck you find a partner who is really able to manage the vicissitudes which occur in the first couple years of feeling rejected unnecessarily perceiving angry when an anger when it isn't there in being very ovary active to criticisms and but sustains it and over time the person learns to trust that person and in the process of that corrective relationship internalizes the idea that maybe I'm basically okay and maybe I'm not such a toxin and that's the way it would occur with a child also

Channel: BorderlinerNotes

Views: 41,267

Keywords: bpd, borderline personality disorder, borderline, personality disorder, john gunderson, doctor gunderson, dr. gunderson, mclean hospital, mclean, psychiatrist, psychiatry, psychiatric, doctor, therapist, psychology, psychologist, borderline expert, borderline the film, borderline documentary, diagnosis, treatment, recovery, relationship, relationships, family, loved ones, girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, wife, my husband has bpd, my wife has bpd, advice for family

Id: rLmKbQ6-LJ8

Length: 3min 35sec (215 seconds)

Published: Wed Apr 19 2017